06x12 - Sabrina and the Candidate

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch". Aired: September 27, 1996 – April 24, 2003.*
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Based off the comic book series, Sabrina a magical witch and her black talking cat Salem navigate the teenage years together.
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06x12 - Sabrina and the Candidate

Post by bunniefuu »

Hello guys.
Thank you for coming.

They say that an honest politician
it's so hard to find

how much a quark
in the triangle galaxy.

Trust me,
it's really very difficult,

but the man I support,
Robert Russell, is a quark.

Do you know how to spell "Quark"?

No, but I liked the word.
Quark! Quark! Quark!

Stop this,
I'm taking notes.

Sabrina, this is so exciting,
writing about the campaign.

technically,
I'm not writing.

Just taking notes and taking
coffee for the office.

Even better now that I've grown
the price to US$ , .

I don't plan to serve
coffee forever.

if i find out everything
about the Russell campaign,

Mike would have to let me
write the story.

Soon I will be the main
political commentator.

Nice!
I like it, but it's no quark.

Russell is an encyclopedia of
pros and cons of local government.

Nobody is better informed
about the problems.

It is wrong to vote for a person
just because he's hot?

How do you think Nixon
was elected?

You only vote if you are registered.

I will not register
until I get married...

I hope with him.

Why were politicians not
cute when I was young?

Have you seen the picture of James Madison?

Yeah, Dolly didn't
cakes for nothing.

Without further ado,
I would like to introduce

your next councilor,
Mr. Robert Russell.

Thanks.
Thank you all for coming.

Especially since the rally is
in the neighborhood where I grew up.

Of course, that was before the
exorbitantly high rents,

but we didn't lose
the battle yet.

If I'm elected,
I promise to fight for this neighborhood

and protect our citizens
of price manipulation.

I love this guy.

Why pay US$,
for a cup of coffee?

I hate this guy.

Sabrina, there's your story.
He has a drinking problem.

Well it doesn't seem to be
hurting its popularity.

Sabrina, The Teenage Witch
S E - Sabrina And The Candidate

Translation, Review and Sync:
Michael Lemos

According to this,
Russell has % of the vote.

It is no wonder that others
withdrew from the election.

I'm not surprised.
After seeing it in person,

realize that everyone
finds it delicious.

I mean,
politically astute.

Do you think Mike will leave
you write the story?

Should! no one knows anymore
about Russell than me.

I know what he thinks
about tax cuts,

benefits
for domestic partners...

Until breakfast,
just juice and coffee.

-I think that's how he gets so...
-Politically astute?

before starting
to flatter the subject,

should take a look
in the last candidate.

I think you might know
even more about her.

No!
I do not know her.

Is his last name Spellman?

Only until I go to court
and change it.

Why is your aunt running
to political office?

It must be a joke
She doesn't know anything about politics!

She didn't know anything about coffee,
and yet she bought a Café.

And this woman is running
to the city council?

Not while I breathe!
The city must be saved!

I have to go.

Aunt Hilda, why is she
doing this?

I'll tell you why, why she
you know how committed i am

getting Russell elected and is
doing it out of spite!

Despite it was when I put on
your dollar shoe.

I'm running
because someone

have to take care of people
good ones from Westbridge.

And that's me!
I don't want you to mock

of everything that is
country represents.

would have been more convincing
if I was wearing a cape.

someone has to look
for the small business owner.

And Russell publicly declared
that my coffee was too expensive.

Do you know what I'm going to tell him?
I will bring you down.

Aunt Hilda, Robert Russell is a
respected member of the community,

with vast experience
in local government!

And you are politically ignorant...
with very big feet!

Okay, I don't know much about
politics, but I learn fast,

and I have the best consultants
that money can pay.

Okay, what's my strategy
campaign?

Are you running? It will take
years for someone to vote for you.

Even so, I wouldn't risk it.

The Declaration of Independence.
Let's get out of here!

can't argue
with three dead presidents.

They're a bunch of old people, no
understand modern politics.

Today's voters want
a normal person. Like me.

A witch of years...
with a milk mustache?

Aunt Hilda, you don't stand a chance.
Russell has % of the vote,

and I suppose no one will
get infected by its slogan.

He made fun of me, now let's go
tease him too.

something that will influence
the voters.

Robert Russell is underhanded!

I knew it!

Salem, you can't go out there
making accusations without evidence.

That's why I have evidence.
At Hilda's insistence,

I went looking for dirt,
rolling
in it,

watched Russell with some
very suspicious people.

Suspicious people. Sabrina,
wanted to write a story?

There it is, delivered on a platter.

I can see the headline: "Cat
speaker sees strange people".

-Aunt Hilda, there's no story.
-Truth!

the story is
at Russell's house,

and whoever wants to accompany me,
You'll see what this cat is talking about.

Salem, nobody goes with you
violate human privacy.

fits perfectly
in my plan.

I will spread the rumor without
fundamentals

-and no evidence to the contrary.
-I drive!

Great story, man reading
"Cat in the Hat" for daughter.

I love this book! A lot more
accessible than "Hop on Pop".

Salem, it's as I suspected,
it's a total waste of time.

No way this trash can
it has some fish heads.

Let's go home.

Wait! something is
happening.

is one of the delinquents
I saw him with earlier.

He still has the same toothpick.
Isn't that disgusting?

This from a guy who eats heads
of fish from a garbage can.

I can't see what's
happening.

We have to get closer
but we need to disguise ourselves.

I never liked dresses,
but so far it was fine.

Maybe for you! My pants
It is sewn at the waist.

Accessory time.

My God! Russell is
buying votes!

Alright Stan,
you know what to do.

deliver this
to the appropriate components.

and no word
about where it came from.

And tell Louie to come
here tomorrow night.

I also have money
for his people.

Salem was right!
He sucks!

Aunt Hilda, I know you are
disappointed, but don't cry.

I can't help it,
I'm a baby cries a lot.

give thanks to God
for not being a pisser,

my bladder is about
to burst.

Let's get out of here, I have
to hand the tape to the newspaper.

Mommy!

I could swear I heard those
two dolls talking.

I have to pee!

There went the diaper.

This footage is amazing!

It's like there's even
a camera at Russell's house.

Sabrina, how did you know this
was happening?

A cat told me.
That's it man!

I know this guy.
We did an article about him.

when he was sentenced
for selling stolen TVs.

And even! Crazy Larry!
Do not wait.

Crazy Larry is the store
that he stole the TVs.

Forget Crazy Larry.
Why is Russell giving

money to an ex-con?
I'll tell you why,

because he is buying votes.
But maybe it goes further than that.

Maybe this guy is his link
to a dirty business network.

Maybe this local scandal
involve the whole city! The state!

And an international conspiracy.

-It may happen.
- It's still a great story.

The most popular politician
righteous is a cheater.

They're getting too excited.
we will not disclose anything

until I interview Russell.
After hearing his side

of history,
you can start writing.

Call me crazy but this
doll looks like your Aunt Zelda.

No way!
This doll has an ass.

"Candidate for councilor finances
ex-con,

Russell responds with:
No comments!".

Even in black and white,
he is hot.

It's so sad, don't exist
more heroes.

Do you know what you need, Zellie?
A new hero.

And a tetanus sh*t.

-Hey.
-And here's my heroine.

Sabrina, I will be
Westbridge's new councilor

-and it's all because of you.
-Aunt Hilda, I wrote the article

because people have
the right to know the truth,

not to help someone
unqualified for work.

Learn to accept a compliment.

So if Russell didn't comment,
what do you think he hides?

I can't stand it!
I do not want to know!

It's ok, because I don't have
the slightest idea.

Isn't your job to find out?

Yes, but I can't do anything
until I finish my shift here.

Do not worry about it.
Take your time,

and don't come back until you've destroyed
the guy. And get a muffin.

It must be Louie. I'll find out
where does the money go?

I'm full of money.

next time I go back
of an envelope with a window.

Okay, let's see what kind of
this is a despicable scheme.

Thank you!
I've been out of work for months,

I didn't know how I was going to pay
the rent.

maybe despicable was
an exaggeration.

Where does this money come from?

the donor wants
remain anonymous,

but i can tell you this...
he is a saint.

Excellent! I wrote an article
blunt about a saint!

He is more than a saint,
he is an angel.

And I clipped his wings.

Come on kids, now we can
stop avoiding the landlord.

well i would like to be
used for rent,

but I have to save
a man's reputation.

I'll talk to Mike.
Request a public retraction.

He goes
to understand.
He...

It's Ben Franklin Day
at Colin Davies Motors.

We are downloading everything
come and check out the offers.

the first ones win
a kite.

I downloaded the latest surveys.

Let me see!
Let me see!

"Asthma cases
increased %".

Even more so in my family.

I want the political polls!
No, I'm down. Very low.

I'm on top.
Right on top.

Russell is not
buying votes!

He is giving to the poor.
You have to write a retraction!

I can't write one.
First: You didn't bring me evidence,

Second:
I just spoke to Russell,

he still says:
"No comments".

I don't understand! He is being
generous with people.

why does he want
hide it?

Good question. If I wanted
an answer,

I wonder who could
got it for me?

Let's see, here is a newspaper.

maybe someone who wants
to be a journalist?

Sabrina, do you know
someone like that?

What about me?

You meant me.

Go!

Hi, can I help you?

Hey. You do not know me...
Well, you kind of know me.

probably know
my name, Sabrina Spellman.

I wrote the article
at the Boston Citizen.

Look, I know you're good and you're
giving money to the poor,

but why are you
trying to hide?

why would i say
soon to you?

Because I unfairly ended up
with your reputation

and now I just want to help you,
but I can't unless you let me.

It's not helping, is it?

Why don't you come in?

The reason I'm not
totally sincere is

because I was afraid that
the media distorted the news.

How did they do? them, me?
I'm sorry. Did I mention this?

I gave the money anonymously,
because I wanted to help families

and give them a second chance,

but I didn't want them to think
that I was buying votes.

It makes sense to me
and if you let me record,

I'm sure I can
fix this mess.

All right, serious, but I won't give
the name of the families I helped.

I want to respect
their privacy.

if you have a reporter
that respects privacy,

it is me,
from now on.

"Russell says the money was
a gift to the poor".

Excellent job,
I knew he was innocent.

And now everyone knows.
Everything went back to the way it was.

Here's the latest poll.

Jennifer Lopez, still hot.
Robert Russell, not yet.

I'm running against
to Jennifer Lopez?

I do not believe this!

After what I did to help you,
still find him guilty!

It's much easier to destroy
a reputation that rebuild it.

I still try to convince people

that nothing happened between
me and Magellan on the ship!

Mike Magalhães, salesman
of catamarans, Nantucket.

I feel so bad for Russell,

I wish there was something
that I could do.

You and me!

could start
for registering to vote.

-Okay, how much is it?
-It's free.

Why didn't you just say so?

Gotta have a spell that
restore Russell's reputation.

Here it is! clean the air
and show the good,

in a debate he will shine.

Sabrina, I have a crazy idea.

Let's organize a debate
between Hilda and Russell,

and broadcast on my program
radio.

What madness!
So crazy it might work.

testing.
, , .

That's why we tested.

This debate is exactly
what Russell needs.

When they see how he
understand the problems,

will be convinced
of his integrity.

I wouldn't want to be
Aunt Hilda against him.

she must be shaking
in her dollar boots.

What?

I'm glad you're here.
I'll open with this joke.

A priest, a rabbi and
Cameron Manheim go to a bar.

As I said, there is nothing
what to worry about.

What do I think of
multipurpose rezoning?

Taste. rezoning, recycling,
fried beans, reminds me of the urn.

It's working perfectly.

Yes and how. It's like taking off
a child's candy.

Next question.
If this district received

additional federal funds,
how would you use it? Mr. Russell?

As I always said, the district
need immediate care

of the elderly and programs
extra-school.

And you, Miss Spellman?

The same thing as him.

MS. Spellman, we still haven't
said nothing about his ideas.

Of course,
I'm a politician.

Could have been the last nail
in her political coffin.

The public wants to hear answers
to these serious questions.

I'll give you a serious question.

Mr. Russell, I would like
to know who these are,

so called, poor who
supposed to have given money?

I can't tell you that.

I have to respect
their privacy and anonymity.

How convenient!
Unfortunately, if you want to be

a ruler, the public
You have the right to know everything.

Right of
know everything.

Sabrina, are you thinking?
what am i thinking?

I already thought about it,
we are thinking the same.

I will not embarrass
these families.

I prefer to leave the campaign.

Well, I won't discuss it.

I have a question
for one of the candidates.

we will not receive questions
from the audience tonight.

Although it's a crazy idea!
Why not?

MS. Spellman, you say
that the public has

the right to know everything
about your rulers?

Exactly.

So you're saying that if it's
elected to the city council,

your private life
would it be an open book?

Certainly.

So are you comfortable with the
public know how old you are?

No problem.
I have years.

MS. Spellman, would be
willing to share

with the public your story
complete staff?

For example,
where were you raised?

don't make me count
about Magellan, Zellie.

Catamaran Seller!
We just had dinner together!

Where did you study?
Where did you buy your toaster?

How did you end up with that cat?

Already understood.
The public doesn't need to know anything

about nothing.
Can we go back to the questions?

Sure how do you feel
about tax reform?

I would love to do a makeover.
adds a touch of blue to the house.

Okay, I'm years old.

Aunt Zelda,
our work here is done.

According to the latest survey,
Russell is back at %.

Nonetheless,
when asked

"With which candidate
would you rather play Twister?".

% said to Hilda.

That woman is the beast
in that game.

Has she ever thought about what goes
write next?

Yes, I thought.
My resignation.

What?

I almost destroyed a man and
I'm just an intern.

Imagine the damage if I
I became a journalist.

It's being too hard
with herself.

I posted the story because
I found the right moment.

Sometimes mistakes are made,
there's nothing you can do,

besides going home
and cry like a baby.

-Is that what you do?
-No, but I think you might.

If you really want to say goodbye,
I can't stop it.

I can yes. you're good at it
do not be stupid!

-Back to work!
-I don't think I have a choice.

No!

I think I should think
in my next story.

This time I want to do something
really uncontroversial.

Maybe dog show?

uncontroversial?
Is playing?

if you write something good
about Chihuahuas,

the poodle people
they will catch your foot.

So you're saying,
no matter what I write,

I will offend someone.

And if you can be so good
How much me,

will offend without even needing
write.

We have the final result
for the election for councilor.


Robert Russell: . wishes,
Hilda Spellman: .


I'm sorry, aunt. At least
you voted for yourself.

In fact, I didn't vote.
I didn't find the parking lot.

Well there's a voter who believes
what you represented.

There was a correction, the vote
has just been disqualified.


Electoral authorities
found that an impression


de paw was put in place
of a real signature.


Try holding a pen
with one paw.

That leaves the final count,
Russell: . , Spellman: .


Unanimity!
That is terrible.

Think you are so much more
funny than Russell.

I'ts right!
it will be my advantage

when i compete
the governor.

who is in the mood
to play Twister?

Mike! great, i'm happy
that I found you.

News for you, Sabrina,
I'm not hard to find.

Well, I finally got it.
I wrote the perfect article.

It is current, accurate and
does not offend anyone.

"Light stations installed
in suburban areas",

"Neighborhood Watchmen
do their job".

"Sale of cakes is
an absolute success".

Well?

That's right, no one would
offended by that.

I knew it!

and i know exactly
What to do with him.

And if you include the fight over
who made the best brownie,

the lady of the nuts
and the one without nuts?

You're crazy, girl.
I went.
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