01x21 - Extra Crunchy

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Side Hustle". Aired: November 7, 2020 - present.*
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After accidentally setting their principal's boat on fire, best friends Lex, Presley, and Munchy create an app to get jobs to pay off their debt.
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01x21 - Extra Crunchy

Post by bunniefuu »

-Okay, Munchy, as you know,
per school tradition,

if you pull off this stunt
at halftime,

you become the school mascot
Luna the Tuna.

-I just don't know
if I can do it.

-It's not that hard.

You just jump off
that trampoline

over that beam
that will be lit on fire

and then dunk the basketball.

-You're right.

Light it up.

[fans whirring]

-Okay, we're livestreaming.

-I could use
a little encouragement.

-Whoo, you got this!
-Yeah, Munchy!

We believe in you!
-Uh, no.

Munchy-style encouragement.

[both chanting]
Butts, butts, butts, butts!

Butts, butts, butts, butts.

Butts, butts, butts,
butts, butts, butts!

-Are you okay?

-Yeah.

Did I make it?

-Not even close.

But if it makes
you feel any better,

this video's getting
a ton of likes.

-That does make
me feel better.

[grunts]

[upbeat music]

-Dad, have you seen

my m*llitary grade
communication scanner?

I--

I mean, I'm just a kid!

I'm this many years old.

-Have a seat, Fisher.

-These men are
from the government.

I saw their badges.

They are so cool.

[chuckles]

Somebody accessed
their highly secure servers

without permission.

-Any idea who that could be?

-All right, it was me.

But I did it for science.

I identified a repeating
gamma wave coming from space.

I think it might be
a new form of limitless energy.

-This is your one
and only warning.

But also,

here's my card.

I have a feeling I might
be working for you someday.

-Are you sure you don't
want to stay for dinner?

I'm making popcorn shrimp.
[door slams]

Thanks for coming by.

Fish, this is not okay.

We can't have government agents
showing up at our house.

-You're right, Dad.

Next time, I'll make sure
I don't get caught.

-No.

This is a big deal.

I hate to do this but

you're grounded.

-Okay, I'll do experiments
at home.

-No, you're grounded

from science.

-What? No!

-You're a kid!

Go outside, get some fresh air.

Anything as long as
it's not science.

-Fine.

Just so you know,

you just got written out of

my Nobel Prize
acceptance speech.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

-What are you eating?

-Tuna from a can.

I'm worried
I can't nail this dunk

and if I don't nail this dunk,

I won't become Luna the Tuna.

So I'm eating tuna
to get into character.

I want to be % tuna
by the halftime show.

[gong clangs]

-That's weird.

The last time we heard a gong

and saw a red carpet
rolled out like that was--

[gasps]
Oh, no.

all: Crunchy.

-Hello, old friends.

Prescott,
wave my dramatic entrance cape.

-What are you doing here?

-I've missed you, Presley.
And Lex.

And even you, Munchy.

-Well, it was
great catching up.

Nobody wants you here. Bye.

-Crunchy, my man!

Dad, why are you
calling Crunchy "my man"?

-Well, he reached out to me
about transferring here

and I think it's important

that education be available
to anyone willing to learn.

-I also donated
a dozen massage chairs

to the teacher's lounge.

-And one
to the principal's office.

Not that that has anything
to do with anything.

Well, I need
to get to my office.

There are papers
that need to be massaged.

I mean, read.

-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Does that mean that--

-That's right.
I'm your new classmate.

Bring it in, come on.
all: No, no!

-♪ I got, you got me ♪
♪ We got this ♪

♪ I like the odds
when we're side-by-side ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ Oh, we're taking off,
gonna do this right ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ And when things
go up in flames, we're on it ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you, got me,
we got this ♪

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

-Crunchy, you can't
be a student here.

This is our school, not yours.

-I just want to spend time
with my old friends.

-Ew, we are not friends.

-Yeah, don't listen to him,
hallway.

-Let me tell everyone
my side of the story.

It's a little long,

so I'll tell it
as dramatic as possible.

Prescott, music.

[dramatic music playing]

I used to be friends
with Lex and Presley.

But then they became
friends with Munchy,

and we were torn apart
by the angry sea of life.

[thunder crashing]

I blamed Munchy for stealing
Lex and Presley away from me

so I took Munchy's place
on their dance team

in hopes of winning them back.

Oh, I was such a fool!

But time has passed
and I've since changed.

[birds chirping]
Now I turn over a new leaf.

Reborn in the hope that
we can all be friends again.

[clapping]

I feel terrible
about what happened.

I not only lost your
friendship,

I also lost my butler, Greeves.

He can never be replaced.

Anyways, here's his
replacement, Prescott.

-Pleased to meet you.

-Prescott will never leave me.

He signed
a , year contract.

-And he has my passport.

-I hope you forgive me.

See you around school.

-We have to find out
what Crunchy is up to.

Let's start spying.

-I don't know,
maybe Crunchy's changed

and is really trying
to be nice now.

-Yeah, I do like
to give people

the benefit of the doubt.

And plus,

he is a fellow "Unchy."

-Fine,
then I'll spy on him myself.

And when I find out
that he's still a jerk,

I'm gonna say, "I told you so."

And you're gonna say,
"Thank you, Presley."

And I'm gonna say,
"Don't thank me,

thank my smart brain."

And you're gonna say,
"Hey, wanna catch a movie?"

And I'm gonna say,
"Well, what's playing?

What are the options--"
-Hey, guys,

I think class started.

[upbeat music]

-I can't believe
the greatest scientific mind

of our generation
has been reduced

to jumping up and down
like a child.

-I know.

You break through one
top secret government firewall

and all of a sudden, your dad
grounds you from science.

-Hey, Fish. Hey, Horrigan.
-Hi, Fisher's dad.

I hope you're happy
with yourself.

-You boys want some lemonade?
-No, thanks.

Too much sugar
will make me tired later.

Oh, I'm sorry,
is that too scientific?

-[chuckles]

I love you kids and your sass.

And here, have fun.

-He's gone. Let's get to work.

[mechanical beeping]

We need to keep monitoring
this equipment for gamma waves.

-Yes, sir.

What should I do
with this thing?

-Who cares.

-Whoa.

You just threw that ball
through that metal circle.

-Yeah.

And I don't know why,
but it felt good!

-Well, should we continue
our experiment?

-Of course.

Right after
I make another sh*t.

[upbeat music]

-I don't understand
what we're doing here.

I should be practicing.

I haven't been able
to pull off the dunk

and if I fail,
I won't become Luna the Tuna.

I'll just be Munchy the Human.

-You don't need practice,
you just need confidence.

So while Presley's
spying on Crunchy,

I tracked someone down
who used to be Luna the Tuna

to give you some advice.

Hi.

Hi, I'm Lex. Are you Ron?

-Yes. So good
to get your message.

-I'm trying out
as Luna tomorrow

and I haven't been able
to pull off the dunk.

-I remember my dunk. Yeah.
[chuckles]

The crowd cheering,
all that adrenaline pumping,

being carried out
on the crowd's shoulders

to that ambulance.
-What?

-Oh, yeah.
I totally failed my big dunk.

I broke a lot of bones.

I never recovered.
Physically or mentally.

-And now you clean pools?

-I wish.

No, I use this
to fish cans out of the pond.

-Wait, I thought
that you made the dunk.

-Oh, no.

Yeah, you see, there were
two Luna the Tunas named Ron.

You're thinking
of the other guy.

Yeah, he nailed his dunk
and became super successful.

I wish I was that guy.

-Oh, no.

I need to practice.

-Hey, where are you--
-I need to practice!

-Well, glad I could help.

-Hey, what is wrong
with Munchy?

-He saw a glimpse
of his possible new future

and it's that guy.

How was following Crunchy?
-Horrible.

I followed him around for hours

trying to catch him in the act
of being a jerk.

But don't worry,
I was really well hidden.

[sneaky music]

-And he did
something horrible?

-No, worse.

He was nice.

-Come on, Altoonisburg High.

Cotton candy on me.

[students cheering]

Presley, is that you?

-Sounds like Crunchy
really has changed.

-No way.

A leopard never changes
its fur.

-A leopard never changes
its spots.

-Now's not the time
for fun animal facts.

-Lex, Presley!

Oh, I hope you're both
having beautiful days.

-You're not fooling anyone,
Crunchy.

-Hey, Crunchy,
just wanted to say thank you

for the massage chair.

I like this guy.

-Okay, you're fooling
a lot of people

but not me.

-It's okay
if you don't believe me.

But would you at least
try a delicious muffin?

-[gasps]

Presley loves muffins.

-I know. I made them myself.

By having Prescott bake them.

-Okay, you can't
buy me off with--

is that blueberry?

Wow, it smells good.

Probably doesn't
taste good though.

Tastes like clouds.

-Prescott,
these are unbelievable.

You have a gift.

You should open up
a muffin shop.

-That's always been my dream.

-Oh, hey,
Munchy wanted me to invite you

to the halftime show tomorrow.
-Oh, what?

-I'd love to support Munchy.
-Fine.

But I'm still keeping
my eye on you.

Now, let's get out of here.

Just one more.

Let's go.

Can you get the door, please?

-Ugh, if I had
to smile another second,

I would have punched somebody.

Probably you, Prescott.

-I would have been delighted.

-This halftime show
is the perfect chance

to get revenge on Munchy

for stealing Lex and Presley
from me.

I'll embarrass him
in front of the whole school.

Then Lex and Presley will turn
to the new, loveable Crunchy.

[laughs evilly]

Oh, my face is tired
from fake smiling.

Prescott, laugh for me.

-[laughs evilly]

[upbeat music]

-Why do I smell blueberries?

-[muffled]
I don't smell anything.

Careful, no, you'll hurt them.

-You said you ate
all the muffins.

-I did.
But Crunchy's butler

dropped off some more
this morning.

-Why would he do that?

-I don't question
free muffins, Lex.

-Did someone say
Luna the Tuna?

'Cause that's who I'm gonna be.

'Cause I'm gonna
nail this dunk.

-Wow, what happened to you?
-Everything.

I stayed up all night

and unlocked
the secret to success.

-Infinity stones?

-No.
I chanted "butts, butts, butts"

in my mind
and it helped me focus.

And guys, I nailed it.

I'm ready
for the halftime show.

-Yay!
I am so proud of you, Munchy.

-All right, I'm gonna head
over to school and get ready.

But the question is,
is the school ready for me?

-What's wrong with you?
Too many muffins?

-No. Well, yes.

But there's something in it.

"We need to talk"?

Not a very good fortune.

-It's not a fortune.

Crunchy's butler
dropped those off for you.

He must have sent a message
to send us a message.

-Oh, wait, there's more.

"Meet me
at the Mooery at noon."

I bet you it's about Crunchy.

-Okay, no, we don't know that.

-Let's go and find out.

And if I'm right,
I get to say "I told you so"

and make a face like this.

-Mm-kay, I know
I should be annoyed

but I like your face.

[upbeat music]

Why'd you ask us
to meet you here?

-Spit it out, muffin man.

-Crunchy is going to sabotage
your friend's performance

at the halftime show

with Malaysian bite mites.

-What are those?

-Mites.

That bite.

From Malaysia.

He's going to put them
in Munchy's costume.

The itching from the bites

will make dunking
quite impossible.

Your friend will become

the laughingstock
of the school.

-Why are you telling us this,
Prescott?

If that is your real name.

-It's not, actually.

My real name is Scott.

Crunchy made me change it

because he didn't think
it sounded "butler-y" enough.

-Okay, so why are you
telling us this, Scott?

If that is your real name.

-Presley,
just let the man speak.

-I like you girls.

No one else has ever
encouraged me

to follow my dreams
of opening a muffin shop.

-Well, we can't wait
to be your first customers.

-Who get free muffins
for life.

-But right now,
we got to go save Munchy.

-Are you sure?
'Cause it sounds like

we have a whole muffin
business plan to cook up--

-Presley!
-Okay.

[upbeat music]

-Horrigan, adjust the shovel
five degrees down

and two degrees left.

-Yes, sir.

-And I think that's it.

With that vector in place,

we should have
the correct angle.

-I'll get into position.

-Fisher, did I just
hear you say "vector"?

I'm pretty sure
that's a science term

and you are
grounded from science.

-True, but we're doing it
in the interest

of outdoor kid stuff.
Watch this.

Gilligan,
this is the professor.

-Gilligan here.

-Drop the coconut.
-Yes, sir.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

-Yes!

-May I go on the record, sir,
and say

"whoo hoo"?

-That was amazing.

See, this is what
being a kid is all about.

[receiver beeping]

-It sounds like your gamma
receiver is getting a signal.

-Why is my barbecue beeping?

Wait, were you doing science?

-Yeah, but that's
before I realized

you could have fun
just being a kid.

-Sir, should we check
the receiver?

-Nah, limitless energy
can wait.

-That's my boy.

-Ooh, let's get my drone.

We can drop the ball
from much higher.

-The terminal velocity
possibilities

are endless, sir.

-Dad, you want
to play with us?

-Yes!
[laughs]

Your old man knows
a little something

about basketball-ing.

See what I mean?

Pretty good.

I'll get it.

[whistle blows]
-That's halftime.

[all cheering]
Let's hear it

for the Fighting Tunas.

[crowd cheering]

While we're setting up
for Luna the Tuna,

I've written some comedy jokes.

Have you ever wondered
why they call it "homework"?

Yes, you do it at home

but it isn't work, it's fun.

So it's more like "funwork."

You may now laugh.

-Time to go to work,
my little bite mites.

-Oh, hey, Crunchy.
-Oh, Munchy.

I was just here,
not doing anything suspicious.

-That is really good to know.

Hey, thanks for coming,
by the way.

-Oh, are you kidding?

I wouldn't miss
your halftime show.

I'm sure you're "itching"
to get out there.

But I think this "mite"
be a performance to remember

so I won't "bug" you anymore.

-Well, thanks for
"wishing" me good luck.

Although I don't know "why"
we're talking like "this."

You know, I never understood
why Lex and Presley

used to be friends with you.

But I get it now.

-Oh, you're gonna get it,
all right.

[upbeat music]

-Why do they call it
a number two pencil?

For me, it's number one!

You may now laugh.

Hey, Munchy.
-Hey, Dad.

-Good luck, son. You okay?

-Yeah, just a little itchy.

-Go get 'em.

Now, give it up
for Luna the Tuna!

[exciting music playing]

[crowd cheering]

♪ ♪

-Oh, we're too late!
Munchy's already started.

-Why am I so itchy?

-♪ Pump up the jam
Pump it up ♪

♪ While your feet
are stomping ♪

♪ And the jam is pumping ♪

-We have to do something.

There is no way
he can pull off this dunk

in a suit full of bite mites.

-Oh, oh, okay.
It says here that

bite mites
live in silent caves.

-Again, not the time
for fun animal facts.

-No, no, they're sensitive
to loud noises and can even be

knocked unconscious
if it's too loud.

-So if we get
the crowd to cheer,

the bite mites
will fall asleep?

-Yes, yes, but how?

The crowd looks confused.

-We have to lead everyone
in Munchy's favorite chant.

-You don't mean--
-Yes.

It's the only way.

both: Butts, butts, butts!

Butts, butts, butts!

-Come on, Altoonisburg High,
chant with us!

both: Butts, butts!

all: Butts, butts,
butts, butts!

Butts, butts, butts, butts!

Butts, butts, butts!

I think the noise
is knocking out the bite mites.

-The "butts"
are making him stronger!

-I'm not itchy anymore.

Let's do this!
[crowd cheers]

[flames crackle]

[crowd gasps]

-He's gonna do it.

[crowd cheering]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[crowd cheering]

-No! No!

-That's my boy!

[crowd cheering]

-Munchy, you did it!

You're Luna the Tuna now.

-I know!
My dream finally came true.

Although I don't know why
I was so itchy.

-Crunchy put bugs
in your suit.

-What?

-Hey, great job, Munchy!

I've always believed in you.

-Can it, Crunchy.

I can't believe you were
just pretending to be nice

so you could try
to ruin my big moment.

-I don't know
what you're talking about.

-We know all about
the Malaysian bite mites.

-Okay, fine.

So I sabotaged your friend

to become friends
with you again.

Could you really blame me?

all: Yes.

-Crunchy,

you're out of this school.

And I'm keeping
my massage chair.

-Yes!
-Yes!

-Fine!

Prescott, bring me
my dramatic exit cape.

-Yes, sir...

is what I would normally say.

But I quit.

-You can't quit.
There's a "no quit clause"

in your , year contract.

-"Prescott" signed
that contract.

My name is Scott.

Scott Dilljer.

And I am your butler no longer.

Now I'm a muffin man.

-No!
But who will flap my cape?

Prescott, don't leave me.

-Well, I was right
about Crunchy,

so there's only
one last thing to do.

-All right, you've earned it.

-I did.

♪ I told you so ♪

♪ I told you so ♪
Uh!

♪ I told you so,
I told you so ♪

♪ I told you so ♪

♪ I told you so ♪

♪ I told you so,
I told you so ♪

all: ♪ I told you so ♪

♪ I told you so ♪
Uh!

♪ I told you so,
I told you so ♪
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