01x23 - Love Sensei

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Side Hustle". Aired: November 7, 2020 - present.*
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After accidentally setting their principal's boat on fire, best friends Lex, Presley, and Munchy create an app to get jobs to pay off their debt.
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01x23 - Love Sensei

Post by bunniefuu »

[low whirring]

-Fisher?

What is going on?

-'Sup?

You're not Lex.

I just wasted a great helmet flip.

-A helmet flip is not gonna impress Lex.

-The helmet is just the appetizer.

I'm building this pedestal to display

the most prestigious science
award given to tweens,

the Warren Bell Prize.

-What is that? Some sort of nerd context?

-Yes, and I won! Whoo-hoo!

Not only do I get a trophy,

but there's also a dinner
and I get to bring a date.

-There's no way Lex is gonna go with you--

-There's a chocolate fountain.
-[gasps]

Lex loves chocolate fountains!

Your plan might actually work.

-I know. Get ready, world!

You're about to meet Flex!

-Flex?

-Yeah, that's our couple name.

Fisher plus Lex equals "Flex."

Just let me have this.

-Who's ready for the Snow Cone Festival?

-I heard there are snow
cones for dogs this year.

Reggie, we'll get yours with extra gravy.

-Oh, that reminds me of
a funny story about gravy.

See, it was Thanksgiving -- -Come on!

No one's gonna ask me what I'm doing?

I'm sparking up a storm over here!

-What are you doing?
-Glad you asked.

I'm making a pedestal
for a big award I'm getting.

There's a fancy dinner,
and I get to bring someone.

-Okay, before I commit,

you should know I'm allergic to peanuts.

-I'm not inviting you.

I'm inviting Lex.

-Fisher, I'm flattered,
but for the millionth time--

-There'll be a chocolate fountain.

-[gasps] I love chocolate fountains.

-Sounds like something
you can't turn down then.

-Well, on one hand, I don't
wanna give you the wrong idea.

But on the other hand,

chocolate fountains.

I appreciate the invitation,

but I think you should take somebody else.

-I'm sorry, Fish. That was rough.

I feel really bad for you.

To the Snow Cone Festival!

-Whoo-hoo!

-That was embarrassing.

-Who said that?

-I did.

-Jaget, why are you hiding in the bushes?

-I'm training my student

in the ancient Jag-Jitsu
art of suburban camouflage.

-What student?

-Why don't you ask the recycling bin.

-[screams]

-This is Gloria.

Gloria, this is science kid.

-Hey, science kid.

That girl sh*t you down hard.

-But you're in luck.

I'm not only a Jag-Jitsu sensei.

I'm also a love sensei,

and I know how to get
you that date you want.

-No, it's useless.
-I'd listen to him.

I didn't think he could
make me into a recycling bin,

but look at me now.

-I mean, I've tried everything,

so I am getting a little desperate.

You know what? Let's do it!

-Only I get to say "let's do it."

Let's do it.

-Hey, nice sash.
-Oh, thank you.

Countless hours of eating snow
cones have made me an expert,

so now, I get to live out my dream

of being a snow cone judge.

-Have fun. I promised Reggie
I'd get him a dog snow cone.

We'll catch up. Come on.

-Time to get to work.

[clears throat]

I'll have your finest snow cone.

-Can't you see I'm busy--Judge Munchy?!

I had no idea. So sorry about that!

-Hmm, fruity bouquet.

I'm getting a hint of--is it blue?

Excellent ratio of ice to syrup.

But how fresh is this ice?

-I crushed it this morning.

Okay! It's three days old!

-Be better.

-I'll try, Judge Munchy!

Here, a snow cone for your friend.

-Ooh, a free snow cone!

-You haven't seen anything yet.

I've got a whole festival to judge.

-Let's do it!

-The target is in sight.

-She's the love of my life, not a target.

-This is my mission,

so I get to make up the words.

I'm about to transform you into a hero.

-How are you gonna do that?

-Well, science kid,

Lex said she wants a snow
cone for her dog, Reggie, so--

-You know Lex's dog's name, but not mine?

-That's right.

Gloria's gonna steal the snow cone.

That's when you say, "Hey, you!

Get your dang hands off that snow cone!"

-Then I'll pretend to be scared, run off,

and you'll be a hero.

Even though in a real
fight, I would destroy you.

-I'm not so sure about this.

-It's okay.

I'm sure enough for the both of us.

Gloria, make your sensei proud.

-Hey, girl! Gimme that snow cone!

-[gasps]

-Hey, you!
-Fisher?

-Get your dang hands off that snow cone.

-No, I got this. Stop, pedestrian!

-Whoa!
[Reggie barks]

-Curses!

The only thing that can stop
Jag-Jitsu is more Jag-Jitsu.

-Yeah, that's right. You
don't want none of this!

Reggie, can I get a woof woof?

Reggie?

Where's Reggie?
- I don't know.

He must have run off,
which was not part of the plan.

-What plan?

-Uh, the plan to spend a lovely day

at the Snow Cone Festival!

-Well, he's never run off before.

Reggie? Reggie?

Reggieeeeee!

-♪ I got, you got me ♪

♪ We got this ♪

♪ I like the odds when we're side-by-side ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ Oh, we're taking off,
gonna do this right ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ And when things go
up in flames, we're on it ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you, got me, we got this ♪

-Reggie?

Reggie, where are you, boy?

I can't find him anywhere.

What am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do?!

-Stop shaking me and breathe.

-[inhales deeply]

-You may also want to breathe out.

-[exhales] Thanks.

-Check it out, Lex.

We got pepperoni pizza snow cones!

-You don't seem nearly
as excited as you should be.

-Guys, Reggie, ran off.

-What?

-Well now eating a pizza
snow cone seems insensitive.

-Mm-hmm.

-So what happened?

-Some crazy girl tried to
take Reggie's snow cone,

and then he was gone.

-What kind of monster would
steal a dog's snow cone?

-Let's not ask too many questions.

But I'm sure she acted alone.

Let's find that dog.

-Okay. Yeah, let's spread out and look.

-Okay, I'm gonna stay here.

Reggie really liked those dog snow cones,

So maybe the smell
of it will bring him back.

-Munchy, let's roll.

-What? No. That would take too long.

Let's run! [sash snaps]

-I'm so sorry for what happened.

-It's not your fault.

-Yeah.

I'm just gonna go back to my
lab and get some equipment

that can help find Reggie.
-Okay.

And, Fisher, thank you for helping.

-Sure thing.

That's what I did: help,
not ruin everything.

I'm a problem solver, not a problem causer.

See ya!

-How's it going, science kid?

-"How's it going"?

"How's it going"?!

-Yeah, how is it going?

-It's going pretty stinkin' bad!

-Language!

-I'm sorry,

but you made the love
of my life's dog run away,

and I had to lie to her to cover it up.

-Don't worry. Gloria
and I are here to help.

-I don't want your help.

This is all your fault!

-Who are you talking to?
-[screams]

Stay away from me!

Should have never listened to Jaget.

-This is a good lesson.

I help everyone, but not
everyone can see how I do it.

Why aren't you writing this down?

-You said never to leave
a paper trail, Sensei.

-Using my own words against me.

You're learning.

-Reggie?

-Reggie?
-Reggie?

-Reggie!

-We've been walking
around for almost an hour,

and there's still no sign of Reggie.

-I wish there was a faster
way to cover more ground.

[hot air balloon hisses]

-Whoa! It's a hot air balloon
shaped like a giant cow!

-Just like the one Santa uses.

-Look out below!

-Hey, it's Ty!

-Wow! Nice entrance.

-Hey, guys. What do
you think of my new ride?

-It's incredible, but why do
you have a hot air balloon?

-I got it to fly over the
Snow Cone Festival

to give out free samples.

Hey, do you mind holding
this until I get back?

Gotta milk Cash the Cow or she gets grumpy.

[Cash the Cow moos angrily]

I'm coming! Hold on to your udders.

-Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

-Yes.

Ty is Santa! This changes everything!

-No, no.

We take the hot air balloon,

fly over the town, and find Reggie.

-That's a great idea. Let's do it!

-Okay. Yeah, but

I wonder what Lex would
say if she were here.

-She'd probably something
like...[clears throat]

"Do whatever it takes to find my dog,

you sweetie, sweetie, sweetie pies!"

-Whoa, you sound exactly like her!

-I know!

[clears throat] She's gone now.

-Well, if Lex says we should
do it, then we should do it.

Let's steal this hot air balloon!

-Yeah!

-There you are!

-Hey, science kid.

-What do you guys want?

-Your love sensei's back with a new plan.

We choreographed a whole fight.

Gloria's gonna come at you with a bat,

and that's when you pull out this!

-A sparring sword?

-Not a sparring sword,

a Jag-Jit-sword!

It's gonna help you look
like a hero in front of Lex.

-I already have a plan.

I'm gonna use science to find Lex's dog.

-Sounds stupid.

You know what's not
stupid? My sword skills.

Ikey-ya!

[sonic amplifier fritzes]

-Jaget!

-[grunts] What?

It's not my fault. I was demonstrating.

Tell him, Gloria.
-Jag-Jitsu teaches us

that a reckless demonstration
is often necessary.

-Just take your stupid Jag-Jit-sword

and get outta here.

-Fine. Love Sensei out.

-Gloria is out as well.

-You need to work on that.

-Wow, hot air balloons are amazing.

I guess this is why they call
them the jellyfish of the sky.

-I can't believe we came
up with such a great plan.

What's the plan again?

-Steal the balloon.
-Did it!

-Find Reggie.
-Doing it!

I don't see him. Now what?

-I'm not sure. Let's call Lex.

-Mine's dead.
-Mine too.

Lex is usually the one who reminds us

to charge our phones.

-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, we'll just steer the balloon

to somewhere we can charge them.

-There's gotta be a steering
wheel around here somewhere.

-I'm not seeing one.

-I know!

I'll call Ty and ask him how to steer.

And as I say that, I realize
my phone is still dead.

-Okay, so how is this
thing going to find Reggie?

-It's a sonic amplifier.

See, different animals respond
to different sound frequencies.

I'm gonna use this to
attract any dogs in the area,

including Reggie.

-Oh, so it's like a dog whistle?

-No.

It's a very fancy dog whistle.

Now I just need to adjust
the frequency to dogs and,

science!

[sonic amplifier fritzes]

Oh, no!

The sword must have
punctured the frequency modifier!

-What sword?

-Uh, nothing!

Oh, no! The calibration is messed up.

This isn't going to attract dogs!

-Well, what's it going to attract?

-Bees.
-Bees?

-Bees!

[bees buzzing]

-Okay, turn it off!

-It's too late. The signal is already sent.

Let's get under that picnic table!

The table cloth will keep the bees out!

At least this is going to be a great story

for our wedding toast.

You're right. Not the time.

[bees buzzing]

-Come on, Presley. Come on, Munchy.

Pick up!

-Okay, it looks like the bees
are buzzing around the cart

with the honey snow cones.

If we give it a few
minutes, it should be clear

so I can get to the machine.

-Why? So you can summon a swarm of snakes!

-No. I can fix my machine
to drive the bees away.

-Good. because we
need to get rid of the bees

so I can find my dog.

And I have no idea where he is.

And Presley and Munchy
aren't picking up their phones.

And I'm at a Snow Cone
Festival hiding under a picnic table!

Fisher, you have to tell me to breathe.

-Breathe.
-[inhales deeply]

-Now, breathe out.

-[exhales]

-You know, I really appreciate
everything you've done today,

especially since I said I
wouldn't go to your dinner.

Thank you.
-Sure.

That doesn't make me feel terrible at all.

-Hey, we're over the festival!

We finally got a hang of
this hot air balloon thing.

-Yeah, the secret is to
just let the wind blow you

wherever it wants and hope you get lucky!

-Hey, look at that!

-I know.

So many people have swimming pools.

-No, look by the fountain.

It's a dog wearing a tie-dye shirt!

-That's Reggie!
-Yeah.

-Our plan worked!

Wow, we should take
to the skies more often.

-Dang it, I wish our phones weren't dead

so we could call Lex.

-Where did you get that milk?

-There's a bunch of them in this bag.

I think Ty was gonna give
out milk and Mooery markers

as free samples.

-Wait.

Milk cartons, cow, farm, food,

school, lunch, milk carton!

-You started with--
-I got it!

We could use these Mooery
markers to write a message

on the cartons and gently drop them to Lex.

-Great idea, Munchy! Let's get writing.

-So many golf courses.

-Munchy, focus.
-Right.

[bees buzzing]

-Okay, Lex, wait here.

I'll fix my machine and
drive away the bees.

If I don't make it back,

think of me every time you
see a chocolate fountain.

-All right, we have our
message all written out.

Great idea writing one word on each carton.

-Lex is gonna be so proud of us.

-Hey! Hey, there's Fisher!

-Let's drop the first cartoon.
-Okay.

[milk carton whistles]
-What's that noise?

[milk carton splats in slow-motion]

-Fisher just put his arms up.

-I think he's signaling us to
drop the rest of the cartons!

-Oh.

[milk cartons whistling]
-Oh, no!

Gotta get to my machine!

[milk cartons splatting in slow-motion]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[sonic amplifier fritzes]

-What happened?

-I was att*cked by milk cartons!

One of them destroyed my machine,

so I can't send the bees away.

We've gotta get outta
here before they run out

of honey snow cones!
-Hey, wait.

There's something written on this.

It says "Lex," and it's in
Presley's awful handwriting!

Holy cow!

Is that Presley and Munchy in a flying cow?

-Yup, that's them.

It's been a weird day.

-Hey, all of these cartons
have writing on them.

I think it's a message!

Wow, what a terrible plan.

-Our brilliant plan is working!

-It looks like it says,

"Hey, Lex, Reggie is near the..."

-Near the what?

-I don't know. There's a word missing.

-Okay, there must be another
carton around here somewhere.

-Yeah.

[bees buzzing] Uh-oh.

-What?
-I found the carton.

-That's gonna tell us where Reggie is.

I have to get it!
-No, Lex, you can't!

It's covered in bees.

I'll do it!

For Flex!

Ouch! Ouch!

-Why is Fisher yelling?

-I think he's trying to thank us.

You're welcome!

-We got your back, bro!

-[groans]

It says "fountain."

He's by the fountain.

-Thank you!

-Ow! Ow, bee stings!

-Sorry.

-I didn't say stop hugging!

-Hey, does it look like
Fisher is getting bigger?

-Yeah, he is growing up so fast.

-No. I mean, like, he's getting larger.

-Wait. I think the balloon is going down.

-Are gonna crash?

-I think so.

-Should we duck down and scream?

-I think so.

[both scream]

-You're welcome.

-Ugh, not again.

-It's me, your love sensei.

I saw the whole thing,
but I waited 'til it was safe

and the bees were gone
to say, "You're welcome!"

You look like a hero, just like I planned.

-I wasn't trying to be a hero.

I was trying to fix the
problem that I caused

by listening to you.

-If you're not careful, I'm
gonna stop helping you.

[Reggie barks]

-I found Reggie, and it's
all because of your help.

That was so brave, the way
you charged into those bees.

You know, I've been thinking about it,

and Fisher, I would love to go
with you to that awards dinner.

-That would be a dream come true,

but I don't think you'll
want to after I tell you this.

-What are you talking about?

-Remember that girl that tried
to take Reggie's snow cone?

-Of course. She's the reason he ran away.

-Well, she was just pretending
to take his snow cone

so I could stop her and impress you.

-What? Why would you do that?

-You wouldn't go with me to my dinner,

and then Jaget and
that girl offered to help.

-You listened to Jaget?

-Yeah.

Reggie running off was
never part of the plan.

-I can't believe you lied.
-Me either.

That's why I'm telling you the truth now.

I want you to go to that dinner with me,

but not if it's based on a lie.

-You're so stupid!

She was gonna go with you, and you blew it.

-Jaget, how long have you been back there?

-Long enough to see science kid

ruin his love sensei's plan.

It was perfect:

disguises, heroes,

recycling bins.

-I can't believe this.

You know, one day, karma is gonna get you.

-I don't who karma is,

but I'll see her coming
with my Jaget-vision.

I see all angles at once:

left, right, up.

[hot air balloon whistles] Oh, no.

[all scream]

-Whoa, I thought we'd
land harder than that.

Something must have cushioned our fall.

-Hey, you found Reggie!

-It was pretty smart of us
to throw those milk cartoons.

Right?
-Are you kidding?

We could have been seriously injured.

-I knew it.

-But we weren't.

And that's why it was a really smart plan.

-Oh, I knew it!
-Yes!

-Hey, where did you get a hot air balloon?

-We'll tell you the whole crazy story

on our way to apologize to Ty.

-Spoiler alert, we stole it.

-Hey!

-Who said that?

-I did!

-You gotta stop doing that to me.

-Okay. But if they still
have that chocolate fountain

at your dinner, I'll go with you, Fisher.

-You used my name and not "science kid"?

-Yeah, that was more of a Jaget thing,

and I'm off the clock.

-Let's do it.

Just one thing, though.

Could you not wear the garbage can?

-It's a recycling bin, but, yeah!

-All part of my plan!
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