02x05 - Al-Dude-isburg

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

-Ha! You just fell into a
classic Lex Checker trap.

-What? No I didn't.
-Yeah.

I'm gonna take this piece
and jump you here, here,

here, and here, and victory is mine.

-Guys, you have to watch
this clip of Dude Calzone!

-What are you doing?

-No time for games. Didn't you hear Munchy?

We have to watch this clip
of our favorite celebrity chef.

-I was about to win.
-We'll never know.

-Welcome back to "Dude's Foods,"

where I, Dude Calzone,

travel around the world stuffing my face for you.

Today, we're in Altoonisburg, Pennsylvania,

at the Super Coolery MicroMooery.

-He's at the Mooery.

-I've been there many times.

-What's up, dude?

Can I try one of your famous milkshakes?

-Okay. My name is Ty.

-Thanks, dude. I'm Dude.

Yum, yum, give me some.

-Whoa! Dude did his catchphrase.

-Keep watching. It gets better.

-I'm throwing my next Dude Food Festival

right here in Altoonisburg.

We're calling it The Al-Dude-Isburg Food Fest.

Bring you best recipes,

and then this dude will taste your food.

Per yoozh, the best dish
gets this golden chef's hat

and , Dude Bucks,

which are redeemable at my restaurants in Vegas

and airports around the Northeast.

-Can you believe it?

We should go down there and try to wave at him.

-Or you could sign up and win.

-I don't really have a recipe that could get a,

"Yum, yum, give me some!"

-You should enter your stew.
-Yes. It's amazing.

-I can't do that. That's a secret family recipe.

It was passed down from
my father's father's father.

He was my Great Grand-Munchy,
for whom I was named.

-But it's so good.

And you only have to share
the stew, not the recipe.

-And you'd look great in a golden chef hat.

-Well, it is one of the few
hat shapes that fits my hair.

Let's do it!

-Or should we say, "Let's stew it."

-No, we should not.

-Boop.
-Boop.

-Boop. All: Boop.

[all imitate expl*si*n]

♪ ♪

-Tell me again why we aren't making your stew

in the kitchen, like normal people.

-Well, if you want normal
stew, do it in a kitchen.

If you want Great Grand-Munchy Stew,

do it in nature's kitchen.

Okay, it's almost done.

-So when do we add all the
stuff we've been chopping?

-Oh, never.

-What?
-This is a secret recipe,

so I asked you to chop
all that stuff to distract you

so you couldn't see what I was doing.

-We've been chopping for hours.

-I cut myself multiple times.

-Well, I guess I can let you
in on the secret ingredient--

If you make a pretzel
promise to never tell anyone.

-A pretzel promise?

-Whoa, this is serious.

-I pretzel promise.

-I will now reveal the secret ingredient.

-The secret ingredient is barbecue tongs?

-No.

Both: Ooh!

-You are right to ooh.

This is a lava pepper, the
hottest pepper on Earth.

It only grows in active volcanoes.

-You want us to chop that up?
-You want to die?

-I do not.

-If you were to chop it up and put it in,

one bite would destroy your
mouth and melt your soul.

-So what do you do with it?

-You dip it in the stew for Pennsylvanias.

One Pennsylvania. Two Pennsylvania.

Okay, have a taste.

Both: Yum, yum, give me some!

-Glad you guys like it.

It's gotta simmer for about hours,

which is , Pennsylvanias.

Let's start counting.

-One Pennsylvania, two Pennsylvania,

three Pennsylvania,

four Pennsylvania, five Pennsylvania,

six Pennsylvania, seven Pennsylvania.

-What are you looking at?

Is that skunk back?

I told you to stop feeding it.

-I'm looking at stew.

Munch is cooking it out there

with Presley and Lex,
and they won't let me near it

because of the "secret ingredients."

-I didn't know Lex was into cooking.

Maybe I should learn to cook.

-I hear what you're asking. The answer is yes.

-The answer to what is yes?

-I'm gonna teach my boy how to cook.

We'll start with Alan Casserole.

It's a casserole made by me, Alan.

-Okay. Well, maybe if I learn,

I can impress Lex. I mean, how hard can it be?

Cooking is just science you can eat.

-Cooking isn't science. It's an art.

That's why I sing while I cook.

♪ Gotta cook with my son
and have some casserole fun ♪

♪ Because cooking with your dad is number one ♪

-Dad, cooking is a science,

and when it comes to science, I'm the best.

-Did you just challenge me to a casserole-off?

-If I did, I didn't mean to.

-Well, too bad, because I don't back down

from a casserole challenge.

We'll both make one and see whose is tastier.

-Hmm, doesn't seem fair,

because you're gonna lose so hard!

-We'll see. Now, if you'll excuse me...

♪ I'm gonna make casserole
and cook the best one ♪

♪ Now Fisher's gonna sing the next verse ♪

-No.

♪ ♪

-Ooh, great job with the sign, guys.

My Great Grand-Munchy would approve,

and he hated pretty much everything.

-Ooh, our first customer.
-I'm not a customer.

I'm Sue, Dude Calzone's sister and legal counsel.

You need to sign these.

-What are they?
-Standard release forms.

Dude can't sample your food unless you sign it.

-Shouldn't he read these before he signs?

-And done.

-I'll take that, and here he comes.

-What's up, Al-Dude-Isburg?

[cheers and applause]

-It's him!

-My dudes, what's the hey-hey?

-Dude, we are such huge fans.

-You changed the way I see waffles.

-I have read all of your cookbooks.

And by that, I mean I looked at the pictures.

-Thanks! Whoa! What you got cooking?

Because it is delighting my sniffer.

-This is my Great Grand-Munchy's Stew.

-Yum, yum, give me some!

-Yes!

-You could be wearing
this golden chef's hat, dude.

-That's my dream, Dude. Both: Dude.

-This is amazing.

Tell me the recipe.

-Oh, I can't do that.

See, this recipe is a family secret.

You understand, right?

-I understand.

But the contract you signed

gives Dude Enterprises Incorporated

ownership of your recipe

and the right to put it
into Dude's next cookbook.

-You can't put Great Grand-Munchy's Secret Stew

into Dude's cookbook!

"Secret" is in the name.

-We can, and we'll rename it

"Dude's Stew."

-Well, guess what.

We're not giving you that recipe, Sue.

-Well, guess what.

If you don't give us the
recipe, per the contract,

you have to pay us $ million.

All: Dude.

-♪ I got, you got me ♪

♪ We got this ♪

♪ I like the odds when we're side-by-side ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ Oh, we're taking off, gonna do this right ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ And when things go up in flames, we're on it ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you, got me, we got this ♪

-This is horrible!

I can't give away my Great
Grand-Munchy's secret recipe!

I mean, I should have read that contract

before I signed it, but it was for Dude Calzone!

If you can't trust him, who can you trust?

-Okay. I'm just gonna take
this spoon away from you,

because you're kind of scaring us.

-It's gonna be okay.
-You're right. I'm calm now.

-Good.

Now we can get upset.

I am so mad at Dude Calzone.

-I am so mad at us.

We're the ones who told you to enter the stew.

-Hey! I see Dude Calzone inside.

Let's go make him cry.

-Oh.
-Hey, Dude.

You've got a lot of explaining to do.

-Yeah, Dude.
-Such a stupid name.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude senses bad vibes.

-I didn't know the contract I
signed gave you ownership

of my secret family recipe.
-Yeah.

What give you the right
to rip people off like this?

-You should be ashamed of yourself, Dude.

-I am.

[sobbing]

-I wanted to make him
cry, but now that we're here,

it's really awkward.

-I'm sorry!

I don't mean to hurt people
and steal their recipes.

-Then why are you doing it?
-I'm not.

It's my sister, Sue. Here's the sitch.

She made me sign a contract.

If I don't do what she says,

I have to pay her a million buckaroos.

-So this whole idea

to steal people's recipes is your sister's?

-Exactamundo.

It's so we can make cookbooks

with other people's recipes and say they're mine.

-Wait. So all those recipes
in your cookbooks are--

-Stolen!

-Even Dude's Righteous Chicken Parm?

-Yes.

I took that from a garbanzo bean farmer in Erie.

[both gasping]

-What are you guys talking about?

-Yum, yum, give me some!

Great meeting my fans!

Here's your autograph!

See y'all on the flippy-flop.

-Unfriendly reminder.

You have hours and minutes

to give me that recipe or $ million.

And $ for Dude's
headshot. Isn't that right, Dude?

-Whatever you say, sis.

[mouths word]

-I'll add it to your tab.

-Oh, thank you.
-Don't thank her.

♪ ♪

-Okay. Exactly drops.

-What's cooking, good looking?

-Dad, you almost made me put in an th drop.

-Oh, sorry.

[whispering] What's cooking, good looking?

-I'm improving your casserole recipe with science

by replacing natural ingredients with flavors

I've synthesized with chemicals.

-While you're using big words,

I'll be adding a surprise
ingredient to my casserole.

-What's the surprise ingredient?

-Let's find out.

-Wait. You just cover your
eyes and pick something?

-That's right.

Got it!
-Dad.

Dad, you just grabbed a
box-- -Nope, don't tell me.

It's a surprise.

♪ ♪

-Can't. Give out. Recipe.

-Munchtopher?

Munchtopher?

Munchtopher, get out of bed!

-Aah!

Great Grand-Munchy? What are you doing here?

-You tell me.

Last thing I knew, I was hanging with Elvis.

-I think I know why you're here.

You're haunting me because I'm gonna give away

your stew recipe

to a celebrity chef named
Dude and his sister, Sue.

-Hmm. Doesn't surprise me.

People have been trying to take our stew recipe

since the Vikings.

-The Vikings? How old are you?

-Pipe down and listen!

Our family always fights back,

and that's what you're gonna do, fight.

-But they said if I don't give it to them,

I owe them $ million.

-The Vikings said the same thing,

only it wasn't dollars, it was beaver pelts.

You know what I did?

-You fought?
-No, I fought!

-But that's what I said.

-But I said it louder.

-You know, you kind of
remind me of my brother, Jaget.

-False!

But speaking of Jaget,

I'm gonna go haunt him,
hit him with my ghost cane.

-Ahh!

Stop hitting me with your ghost cane, ghost man!

♪ ♪

-Last night, I was visited

by the ghost of my Great Grand-Munchy.

He told me we can't give up his stew recipe.

-Oh, no!

We made a ghost mad?

-So what do we do?

-Fight fire with fire.

-Are you sure we have to wear these suits?

-You want to die?
-Still no.

-We're gonna get Sue to eat this lava pepper

to teach her a lesson about stealing

secret family recipes.

Gas masks on.

-Why is the pot shaking?
-And smoking?

-That means it's working.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

-Is it ready?
-It's ready.

-Here's the milk you wanted.
What do you need it for?

-Oh, we're gonna give a mean woman a taste

of something so hot, it will destroy her.

We need the milk to counteract the effects.

-Milk. What can't you do?

-Hey, Dude's coming.

-Dude.
-Dude?

-Dude.
-Dude.

-What just happened?

-Oh, I told Dude we had
a plan to save the recipe.

Dude said, "Good luck."

-I gotta learn how to speak Dude.

-I don't see $ million,

so I assume you're going
to give me your stew recipe?

-Actually, we changed the recipe.

-See? New and improved.

-We think it's even better.

You should give it a taste and see for yourself.

-Yes. You're gonna love it.

-Here is a fresh spoon.

-Yum, yum, try some.

-Why are you suddenly acting nice?

-We're just really excited for you

to try this new recipe.

-Just taste it already.
-Okay, I'll taste it.

Right after you taste it first.

♪ ♪

-Still working on your casserole?

I finished mine. Had time for a bubble bath.

-Well, you're gonna need another one

to wash off the smell of defeat.

-How's your science casserole?

-Mathematically perfect.

I'm so winning this casserole-off.

And done.

-Good, because our judge
should be here any second.

-False!

You're judge is here now.

Food court is now in session.

-I've carefully extricated
all parts of my casserole

so every serving will maximize

the ingredient-to-tastebud ratio.

-I sprinkled crushed-up potato chips on mine.

-Mmm.

[gargles]

Okay. Nice job, science kid's dad.

-Wait till you taste mine.
-I don't have to wait.

I'm the judge.

[gargling]

-So?

-That's horrible, science kid's dad's kid.

The guy that smells like bubble bath wins.

-What?
-Yes!

I told you so. I told you so.

-Food court adjourned.

I'm taking this as evidence.

-I don't believe this. Let me try yours.

Whoa, mama!

This is unbelievable! How is that possible?

-I told you.

Cooking is an art, not a science.

But I'm happy to teach you.

-Okay. But do I have to sing while I do it?

-I think we both know the answer to that.

Five, six, seven, eight.

-♪ I'm singing while I'm making food ♪

♪ With my dear old dad ♪

♪ I really thought I'd hate it
but it's actually not too bad ♪

-♪ Now we're cooking, yeah, we're cooking ♪

♪ Now we're cooking like a father and son do ♪

both: ♪ Do do do do do do do do do do do do ♪

♪ And a do do do do do do do do do ♪

♪ ♪

-I'm still waiting for someone

to try this new and improved stew.

Unless there's a reason not to eat it?

-Fine. I'll do it.

-You can't do that,

because you're full from lunch.

Remember?

-I do remember, but
someone has to, so I'm doing it.

-If you're gonna try it, I'm gonna try it too,

because friends don't let friends eat stew alone.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

-For Munchy.
-For Munchy.

-You know, it's not so--

-What's wrong with you?

-Nothing is wrong.

I'm dancing because it's so good.

-I can't wait to have more.

-It really is new and improved.

I'm gonna stomp in gratitude.

-You gotta try it.

-I guess I was wrong.

I'll have some.

So where did you say your
Great Grand-Munchy was from?

-Oh, he moved around a
lot, so it's kind of a long story.

-Munchy!

-That I will tell some other time.

Now, please enjoy.

-Wow. I didn't think it could get any better,

but I gotta say--

Mouth on fire.

-Ah, milk, bringing life back to body.

-Tongue less ow.

-What did you do to me?

-You just ate my Great
Grand-Munchy's Revenge Stew.

-My soul is melting!

-Do you know what provides
instant relief for that? Milk.

-Yeah. It worked right away.
-Give it to me!

-Oh, we'll give you the milk.

Right after you agree not
to take Munchy's recipe.

-Forget it! Someone give me milk.

Dude, I know you'll help me! You're my brother.

-I'll give you the milk.

But first, rip up these contracts so Munchy

and all these other dudes get their recipes back.

Oh, and my contract's in there too.

-Not a chance!
-All right.

Consider this milk outie , .

-Fine, you win!
-Great! Get ripping.

[cheers and applause]

-We did it!

-You betcha!

Not only is your stew amazing,

but you just gave everyone back their recipes

and me back my life.

Munchy, you earned this.

-The golden chef's hat? Dude.

-Dude.

-This is for you, Great Grand-Munchy.

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

-Great Grand-Munchy out.

-Thank you. Thank you very much.