02x06 - Stash the Cash

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

-Oh, Cash, I have something for you.

-You have something for the cow?

-Yes. She's given us so much milk

and happiness over the
years, I got her a hay bouquet.

Or as I like to call it, a bouq-hay.

-I would have called it a
moo-quet, but you do you.

-"Either way, I love it.

Thanks, Lex."

-What was that?

-That was my cow voice. I
was pretending to be Cash.

-That didn't sound like a cow.
-A dolphin maybe.

-"I thought it was pretty good."

Thanks, Cash.

-Oh, I love to hate this place.

-Hey, Munchy.

It's your brother's girlfriend, Buckles.

-Ex-girlfriend. She broke up with him again.

This time it was because he
chewed his food too quietly.

Buckles likes guys who make big chewing noises.

-So you ready for the big going away party?

-Who's going away? Is it you?

-Oh, you wish.

I filed a complaint with the city

that this cow pen is illegal.

So now animal control is
taking the stupid cow away.

So let's celebrate! I brought extra hats.

One for you.

Your loss.

Sholly.

-Animal control officer
Sholly reporting for duty.

Now where's the cow?

-It's the big, smelly animal right there.

-Ahh, there you are. Thought you could hide.

-You can't take my cow. This is her home, okay?

And she's my friend, and I use her milk

to make everything at the Mooery.

-Too bad. You need a permit to have this creature

in your restaurant, which you do not have.

So I'm taking her to the cow pound.

-Well, can I just get a permit?

-Of course you can.
-Okay.

-But it takes six to eight years.

-Hey, this isn't fair. You can't take Cash.

-Yeah, Buckles just wants

the Mooery to go out of business.

-Yeah, then everyone
will have to go to her place,

Froyo Yo-Yo, where they
put a yo-yo in every froyo.

-That is true. It's also
true that this cow is leaving.

Sholly, take her away.

-Love to. Let me get my crate.

I might have brought the wrong size crate.

I'll come back tomorrow.

-Everyone's an idiot.

-I can't lose my cow.

-You're not going to.

Cash isn't going to the cow pound.

Not on my watch.

Isn't that right, Cash? "You know it."

-Why are you doing a dolphin voice?

both: Right?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

-I can't believe you might
actually discover a new color.

I'm so excited, sir.

-Horrigan, science isn't about being excited.

But I have a name picked out for the new color,

and it's Fisher Blue.

-I can see the name on a crayon already.

-Okay, go downstairs and get my science tongs.

-Right away, sir. Bennigan!

-How can I help you, sir?

-Go downstairs and get Fisher's science tongs.

-Right away, sir.

-Horrigan?
-Yes, sir.

-Who was that?

-That's Bennigan.

-Follow-up question. Who's Bennigan?

-Well, you know how I'm your assistant?

He's my assistant.

This way I can send him to get your supplies,

and I won't have to miss a
moment of the experiment.

-I'm not sure if that's necessary.

-Don't worry. It'll save a ton of time.

-Your science tongs, Mr. Fisher, sir.

-Hey, you hand those to me,
and I'll hand them to Fisher.

Now, go sit on your stool.

-Yes, sir.

-I got your science tongs, sir.

-Thanks.

[upbeat music]

-Hey. Why did Lex wanna meet us here?

-No idea. I got her text

when I was in the middle
of a k*ller ukulele solo.

[clanging]

What was that?

-Is that the skunk your dad's always feeding?

[cow mooing]

-Hey, Presley.

Do you mind if we hide a cow in your garage?

-♪ I got, you got me ♪

♪ We got this ♪

♪ I like the odds when we're side-by-side ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ Oh, we're taking off, gonna do this right ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ And when things go up in flames, we're on it ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you, got me, we got this ♪

-First off, Lex, I'm proud
of you for stealing a cow.

Second off, what are you thinking?

-We can't let an innocent cow
be taken away from its home.

I love animals too much,

Especially ones with big, beautiful eyes.

-Yeah. We couldn't let that
guy from the city take Cash.

He was coming to get her today.

-Cash would do the same for us

if she had a mind capable of forming plans.

-So you guys took the cow
out of the Mooery last night

and snuck her into Presley's garage without me?

I thought we were friends.

-Well, we can't keep a cow in my garage forever.

What's the plan?

-Ty and I figured it out.

We'll remodel my room into a barn,

buy some chickens to keep Cash company...

-And we'll all take plans milking her,

which will keep the Mooery in business.

-And we just have to keep this up until Ty

gets that cow permit in six to eight years.

[cowbell clanging]

-Someone's coming.
-We gotta hide Cash.

[cowbell clanging]

-Jaget. What's with the cowbell?

-I'm on a mission from Buckles.

I'm looking for a cow,

and everybody knows
they're attracted to cowbells.

-Wait, wait, wait. I thought Buckles dumped you.

-It was mutual.

Anyway, she texted me and
said if I track down the cow,

she'll get back together with me.

-So why'd you come here?

-'Cause I think you rotten kids

might have something to do with it.

[together] Ha-ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.

-Why are you all awkwardly laughing?

And aren't you supposed to
be at the Mooery, Milk Man?

-Um...we deliver.

Yeah, no, I just dropped off a bag of butter.

A butter bag.

[cow mooing]
-What was that?

It came from the garage.
-Ha-ha.

You know, all this talk about garages reminds me

that Presley wrote a song about you.

-I did?

I mean, I did.

-A song about me?

It's about time.

-You're gonna love it. One, two, three.

[upbeat ukulele music] Help
me get the cow out of here

while he's distracted.

-♪ There's so many letters in Jaget ♪

♪ J is for jumping, which he's very good at ♪

♪ A is for apple, which I saw him eat once ♪

♪ G is the middle letter of his name ♪

♪ Unless there are two Gs,
I've never seen it written ♪

♪ E is for everyone ♪

♪ Hurry up, I'm almost out of letters ♪

-Ahh!

-Wait a second. You kids did take the cow.

So that awesome song was just a distraction?

-♪ S is for sorry ♪

-I can't wait to see the look on Buckles' face

when I tell her I found the cow.

She's gonna sorta smile.

Hey. What are you doing?

-We can't keep him in there.

He has a terrible fear of
being trapped in small spaces,

especially garages.

-Let me out of here!

-Don't worry. Lex will know what to do.

-You kids are in trouble.

-Wait. Where's Lex?

-Let me out of here!

I need space.

I can't even spread out my arms.

All right, I can. But it's not much clearance.

-Hey, calm down.

-Who said that?

Was that you, cow?

-"Of course it was me.

There's no one else here."

-I knew talking cows were real.

[upbeat music]

-Horrigan, I need the prism.

-Yes, sir. Bennigan, I need the prism.

-Yes, sir. Arbie.

-Yes, sir.

-I need the prism.
-Yes, sir.

-Well, hold on a second. Who is this?

-I felt I wasn't maximizing
my time with Horrigan,

so I hired my own assistant.

-Here's your prism.

-Hey, you're my assistant. Hand that to me.

-Now go sit on your stool.
-Yes, sir.

-Your prism, Mr. Fisher, sir.

-Bennigan,

we've been over this.

Now go sit on your stool.

-Yes, sir.
-I got your prism, sir.

-Thanks, Horrigan. This is saving a lot of time.

-Okay, when we open this garage,

Jaget will most likely go crazy.

-Most likely? He's gonna spring out of there

like a cobra sh*t out of a circus cannon.

-Wait. Why don't I get any protection?

-Well, Ty, we need Jaget to go after someone,

and we voted and chose
you since you're the weakest.

-Wait, what?
-No time to explain.

Let's open this.

[phone dings]

It's Lex. She's in the garage.
And Jaget thinks she's the cow.

She has a plan but needs a little more time.

[phone chimes]

She also says we owe her an apology

for making fun of her cow voice,

because it's working great.

That seems wrong.

-So what you're saying is, I'm a cow.

-"No. One more time.

"I'm saying you not wanting
to be trapped in this garage

"is the same as me not wanting to be trapped

in the cow pound."

-Whew.

You're making a lot of sense, cow.

-Moo betcha.

-[laughs]

Moo betcha? That's funny.

You're a comedy cow, huh?

-Okay. Lex says it's safe

to open the garage but don't blow her cover.

-Okay. Let's have Ty go first just in case.

-Good idea.
-Why does everyone assume

I'm the weak one? You know, I work out twice a--

-No time.

-And that's why you should never feed

a Gremlin after midnight.

-What's happening?
-Life.

Turns out this cow really gets me, and I get her.

-Wait. So does this mean

that you're not gonna tell Buckles Cash is here?

-About that. I got good moos and bad moos.

That's a little joke Cash taught me.

-What's the good moos?

-I'm friends with this cow now.

So I'd never turn her in.

both: Yes.

Wait. What's the bad moos?

-I already turned her in.

[together] What?

-Yeah, before you locked me
in the garage, I texted Buckles

and let her know that Cash was here.

She'll be here any minute.

-Wait. So Buckles is on her way here?

Run for your lives!

both: Weak one.

[upbeat ukulele music]
-♪ There are so many letters ♪

♪ In Jaget ♪

♪ J is for jumping ♪

♪ Which I'm very good at ♪

♪ A is for Apple which ♪

-Stop playing the stupid baby guitar.

-Oh, hey, Buckles.

-Where's the cow?

-In the garage.

-Well, thanks for finding it, Jaget.

You know, once we ship that thing off,

I'm gonna let you buy me dinner.

-Okay, I'm ready to find that cow

and take her to the cow pound, and--

oh, my goodness, is that Jaget?

-Sholly, what are you doing here?

-I'm looking at you; that's what I'm doing here.

But what I'm really doing
here is looking for a stolen cow.

-Wait. You two know each other?

-Of course. We're both
heroes that work for the city.

I control the crosswalks.

He controls the animals.

Together we're unstoppable.

-We're also tetherball teammates.

-Our team name is the Tether Bros.

Let's show her our thing.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

both: ♪ Everyone knows we're the Tether Bros ♪

♪ When there's a ball on a
string that's where we goes ♪

♪ Tether Bros, ha, Tether Bros, ha ♪

-Knock it off!

We have a cow to capture and a Mooery

to run out of business.

Open it up.

[imitates lightsaber whooshing]

-I'm ready.

-Ha-ha, thought you could hide from me?

Think again. We're taking you away.

I can't wait to see the look...

Boxes.

What is this?

-As a professional animal control officer,

I am almost positive that is not a cow.

-You said the cow was in the garage.

-[gasps] I'm as surprised as you are.

I guess we've tried all we can.

I think you said something
about me buying you dinner?

-Where is the cow?

-Uh...

-[grunting]

Come on, guys, we gotta work

together to get Cash into the basement.

-How did I get stuck on this side of the cow?

-We had another vote.

-What?

-Guys, you better get that cow moving.

The boxes we set up didn't fool Buckles.

-Well, grab some cow and push!

-Three, two, one.
[grunts]

-We're all set.

When this laser hits this prism,

we're gonna crate a new color.

I just need my science goggles.

-Right away, sir. Bennigan, science goggles.

-Right away, sir. Arbie, science goggles.

-Right away, sir. Jack, science goggles.

-Right away, sir. Colonel, science goggles.

-Right away, sir. Ronald, science goggles.

-Right away, sir. Fisher, science goggles.

-What is happening? This is out of control.

[together] I agree, sir.

-I just wanted to do my experiment,

and now my room is filled with assistants.

Let's just go back to the way things were.

Just the two of us.

-Could I spend more time with you

and less time retrieving your tools?

-Yes, I promise.

-Very good, sir. Bennigan, you're fired.

-Arbie, you're fired.
-Jack, you're fired.

-Colonel, you're fired.

-Ronald, you're fired.

-Fisher, you're fired.

-Everybody, out.

-You heard the man. Come on.

♪ Go, go, go out ♪

♪ One more assistant and we're done ♪

-Tell me where it is.
-I don't know.

-Why are you laughing? You think this is funny?

-I can't help it. You're poking my tickle spot.

[cow mooing]

-What was that?

-That sounded like it could have been a--

I wanna say goose?

-It was a cow. Follow me.

This town's full of idiots.

I smell cow.

-No. I've lived next to
these people for a long time.

They're just a smelly bunch.

-Do they have hooves? Because I see hoof prints.

-It's fresh.

-Well, we follow these
prints, and we'll find the cow.

Come on.
-Pardon us.

-Excuse us, ma'am.
-Coming through.

-You have a lovely home.

-You know what I hate more than cows?

Kids in lab coats. Come on.

-Oh, hi, Buckles. Want us to deal you in?

-Gimme the cow.
-Cow?

I don't know anything about a cow.

[cow mooing]

-Then what was that?
-Uh, me.

I was down to one card, so I said moo-no.

-This better not be a bunch of boxes.

-See? Just another blanket.

-Thanks for coming by.

-Someone must have put a cow under our blankets.

-Arrest this cow.
-On it.

-Sholly, we've been friends and Tether Bros

for a long time. Please don't arrest that cow.

-The city is pretty strict
on animal control issues

but pretty loose on doing favors for friends.

I'll do whatever you want.

-What is going on?

-This cow and I have bonded.

-Jaget, tell your strange
friend to arrest this cow

and I'll get back together with you.

-Really?
-No, Jaget.

Don't you remember?

This cow is your friend. Look into her eyes.

[gentle piano music]

♪ ♪

-You're right. She is my friend.

-No. Look into my eyes.

The eyes of your on-again-off-again girlfriend.

♪ ♪

-Your eyes are nice too.

-No, remember the connection you had

with Cash in the garage?

You said you wanted to
drive cross-country together

all the way to Hawaii.

-How'd you know that?

-Just guessing.

-You have to choose. It's either the cow or me.

♪ ♪

-You know it's right.
-Come on, Jaget.

-You don't even like this girl, and...

-Please do the right thing.
-It's a talking cow.

[indistinct chatter]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

-Knock it off!

Your shouting isn't gonna make
me choose a cow over Buckles.

-Thank you.

-'Cause I came to that conclusion on my own.

-Yes!
-Sholly, drop the case.

-And get me a permit so Cash
can be at the Mooery legally.

-No problem.

I actually have a bunch of permits in my pocket.

See you this weekend on the tetherball court.

♪ Everyone knows we're the Tether Bros ♪

♪ When there's a ball on a
string that's where we goes ♪

♪ Tether Bros, ha, Tether Bros, ha ♪

-I'm sorry, Buckles.

But me and this cow have a connection,

and I couldn't let her be taken away.

-I understand.
-Really?

-I understand that you're an idiot.

I can't believe a guy chose a cow over me again.

-I'm proud of you, bro.

-We're all proud of you.

-You saved my cow. Free milkshakes for everyone.

all: Yes.

-Okay, bring it in.

[cow moos]

-That's right, Cash. You're part of this too.

[upbeat music]

I'm glad everything is back to normal.

-Not everything.

-So I never order sour cream,

but when it comes with my food I always eat it.

Does that answer your question?

Cash, why aren't you talking?

-Lex, it's time to go to work.

-"Tell me more."

-There you are.

So let me tell you about
the time I tried to eat honey

from a beehive like a bear.