Bob's Burgers Movie, The (2022)

Movies which are prequels, sequels or based upon the TV series.

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Movies which are prequels, sequels or based upon the TV series.
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Bob's Burgers Movie, The (2022)

Post by bunniefuu »

(VARIATION OF STUDIO
THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(MEN STRAINING AND GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

(g*nsh*t) (BODY THUDS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

(SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)

LINDA: Well, that's
the first time

an exterminator said
he's gonna pray for us.

That's okay, right?
That's not a bad sign.





No. Whatcha doin', Gene?

I'm making an instrument
out of spoons,

and a napkin holder,
and dreams, and magic.

Obviously, Tina.

How's the burger, Bob?

BOB: It's okay. I
put an egg on it.

Why is Dad making a
burger at 8:00 a.m.?

Is he on British time?

He's making it to bring to
Mr. Dowling at the bank.

We have a meeting this morning

and we're gonna ask
for an extension

on our loan payment.

Oh, fun.

And we really, really need
to get that extension.





All the restaurant equipment
is wrapped up in that loan.

So, you're giving him a burger?

Well, I mean, we can't
give him money, Tina.

'Cause we don't have
any? Pretty much.

How about you play
him some of this?

(RATTLING) What, to scare him?

No. To enchant him.

Bob, you know I love this
"bring him a burger" idea,

but isn't it a little
early to be making it?

I mean, our appointment
isn't for a while.

(WHISPERING) This is
a practice burger.

(WHISPERING) Why
are you whispering?

I don't want it to
hear and feel bad.

Okay.

(IN FEMALE VOICE)
Wait, I'm a what?

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Nothing.
What? You're great. (SHUSHES)

(IN FEMALE VOICE)
Mmm, that feels nice.

(IN NORMAL VOICE)
I know. I know.

(IN FEMALE VOICE) Don't
rub my sesame seeds off.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) I
won't. Don't worry.

They're a cute couple.
Eh, I give 'em a year.

I'm gonna make another
practice burger.

And I'm gonna try
not to think too much

about how much is
riding on today.

Maybe I should put
two eggs on it.

Hey! This could be
your burger of the day!

You can call it your,
"Keep Your Sunny Side Up

"and Your Cloudy Side Down,

"Stay Positive, Bobby,

"Things Are Gonna
Be Okay Burger."

Right? BOB: It's
a little long.

How about "Mr. Greasy"?

Well, better get going.

Only one more week of school
and then I'm Summer Tina.

And big things are
comin' for Summer Tina.

Big things like that heat
rash you get sometimes?

Bigger.

Summer Louise might be

making some moves that
are pretty big, too.

Maybe. I don't know.

Don't worry about it, all right?

TINA: Fine. Sorry.

Summer Gene's gonna
be topless 24/7

and doin' a lot of
this. (RATTLING)

LOUISE: Oh, great.
Bye, my babies.

Watch out for the
messed up sidewalk!

TINA: Thank you!

(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

BOB: ♪♪ Every day
we come downstairs

♪♪ Unlock the door

♪♪ And turn the sign to open

♪♪ Open

♪♪ Is another day I give
myself a little diarrhea

♪♪ From the worry
and the stressin'

♪♪ And the hopin'

♪♪ But I won't think about ♪♪
But you shouldn't think about

♪♪ Those fears now

♪♪ Mr. Dowling at the bank
is gonna say, "Oh, wow"

♪♪ When he tastes our
burgers, tastes our fries

♪♪ He'll probably
give us a high-five

♪♪ Extend our loan,
throw us a bone

♪♪ And tell us we are

♪♪ In the zone Yeah!

♪♪ Send us on our
merry way Mm-hmm.

♪♪ Hey, have yourselves
a pleasant day

BOTH: ♪♪ We'll come back
here, we'll go berserk

♪♪ We'll hug and kiss

♪♪ And get to work

♪♪ Oh, Bobby, I like
what I'm hearin'

♪♪ Diarrhea's fine,
but no sense fearin'

I mean. Uh!

♪♪ When you have that just
un-stop-timistic spirit

♪♪ It's gonna be
the sunny side up

♪♪ Summer of our lives

♪♪ Ooh

♪♪ Every time I see him

♪♪ Oh, my heart, it does
a crazy little dance

Something like, eh, eh, eh.

Looks good.

♪♪ And I want for
him to kiss me

♪♪ And then walk
away so I can see

♪♪ What's shakin' in the
backside of his pants ♪♪

Poop?

♪♪ I think that this
is real, what I feel

♪♪ And if he could feel it too
Well then that would be ideal

♪♪ So I wanna make
this thing legit

♪♪ I'm gonna put
a ring on it Ooh.

♪♪ But not a ring
'cause that's cray-cray

♪♪ I mean, we're
only in eighth grade

♪♪ I'll do the thing
eighth graders do

♪♪ When you like-like
me and I like-like you

♪♪ Put something
special on a chain

♪♪ And give it to
him and explain

♪♪ I'd like for you to
be my summer boyfriend

♪♪ You'll say yes
and then to seal it

♪♪ Shake your rear end

♪♪ And it's gonna
be the sunny side up

♪♪ Summer of my life

♪♪ Each and every
day I want to sing

♪♪ I want to play

♪♪ Play this napkiny
thing, I made it

♪♪ And it's gonna revolutionize
American pop music

♪♪ Each and every day

♪♪ I just think
I'm pretty great

♪♪ Yep, that's
right No big deal

♪♪ I'm not hiding what I feel

♪♪ About some
things On my mind

♪♪ And if they're
holding me behind

♪♪ Keeping me feeling small

♪♪ Though they
actually make me tall

♪♪ Hope they don't hear
me talkin' about them

♪♪ Don't know what
I am without them

♪♪ But this summer I might see
♪♪ But this summer we might see

♪♪ Just who I turn out to be ♪♪
Just what we turned out to be

♪♪ And it's gonna
be the sunny side up

♪♪ Summer of our lives

♪♪ Guess we're gonna go for it
Feels kinda scary, I'll admit

♪♪ It will be great,
it's gonna work

♪♪ We'll hug and
kiss and go berserk

♪♪ I'll take a chance,
don't second guess

♪♪ We're doing great if
he just answers yes ♪♪

(BOTH VOCALIZING END NOTE)

No. BOTH: Huh?

I'm sorry. Extension
denied. BOB: Huh?

You have seven days
to make your payment

or we'll repossess your
restaurant equipment.

Seven days?

Possess our equipment?
Like, haunt it?

I brought you a burger.

Oh, no thanks.

I'm trying to eat
less meat. Oh, my God.

I'm going to close out the file.

And, uh, your
faces are making me

sad,

so if you could go?

Oh, my face?

And can you take
the, um... hmm?

There's fries in there.
You want the fries?

Typing till you're gone.
Typing till you're gone.

(RATTLING)

And that is the breakthrough
we've been looking for.

It hurts my teeth
somehow. Also who's "we"?

The band! Our underappreciated
but highly influential band,

the Itty Bitty Ditty Committee?

That we're in with my sisters.

And recorder bad
boy, Peter Pescadero.

Oh, right. We were in a band.
And we went with that name?

Yes! And we were just waiting
to discover our sound,

and I'm sure you agree
that I've found it.

(RATTLING)

ZEKE: I'm gonna get ya!
I'm gonna get ya! Come on.

JIMMY JR.: Zeke. Ow.

Too hard! Aah! Sorry!
Sorry! Sorry! (GRUNTS)

I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna walk

right over there
and I'm gonna do it.

I'm not gonna do it.

I am gonna do it. Here I go.

Nope. Going back over
here. Can't do it.

Yes, I can. Yes, I can.
Zeke. Ow! Zeke. Ow!

Ow, Zeke. My penis area!

Nope. Not the right time.
Stand down, soldier.

Ready? Go!

Louise! Come do a
dead man's drop.

Ooh, that's over there
and I'm over here.

But thank you. She's scared.

(SCOFFS) No. I'm not.

I mean, I'm scared of how
comfortable I am. Over here.

She's afraid her
hat will fall off.

(SCOFFING) You're afraid
my hat will fall off.

So gotcha!

Good one. I mean, kinda.

I don't know why she
still wears that thing.

It's like she's five.

Oh, boy. (INHALER HISSES)

Baby. (ALL GASP)

What'd you say? Did you
just use the B-word?

Uh, I'm pretty sure
she said, "lady."

I heard "rabies."

I'll show you rabies.

(LOUISE SCREAMING)
TINA: Easy. Easy.

What's going on over
here? A little conflict?

(LOUISE SNARLS) (YELPS)

BOB: Stupid bank.
Sunny side up.

More like crappy side up.

It's gonna be okay, Bob. Bob?

Do you think he remembers
I ordered a burger?

(TEDDY GRUNTS) LINDA: Um...

Yeah. (BELL JINGLES)

Your sidewalk's getting worse.

Uh-huh. I saw someone trip.

Hey, how are you
guys gonna celebrate

getting that loan extension?

Should I get some T-shirts
made? I'd wear one.

We didn't get the
extension, Teddy.

What? But you made a burger!

He's eating less meat,
Teddy! Okay! Jeez.

He's eating less meat.

Bob, calm down.

Seven days. We can do this.

All we have to do is
sell enough burgers

in seven days to pay
the bank, which is...

BOB: A lot.

Eh, well, that's not that
much, right? We can do it.

Hey, there's gonna
be more business

down at the Wonder Wharf

'cause of the
Octa-wharfiversary!

Oh, yeah, the
Octa-wharfiversary.

More foot traffic.

Uh, yeah. That's true.

And feet have mouths.

Mouths that we could put
burgers in. Right, Bob?

Yeah. Feet have mouths.

(LAUGHS) Feet mouths.
(BOB CHUCKLES)

There he is. See?

Doesn't it feel good
to be a little hopeful?

Instead of being
scary and shouty.

And making people feel nervous
to ask about their order.

Yeah, it does a little bit.

♪♪ It's gonna be
the sunny side up

Come on!

BOTH: ♪♪ Summer of our lives
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

♪♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la

♪♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la

♪♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la... ♪♪
(RUMBLING)

Huh? Oh! Oh! Oh!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, my God.

LINDA: It's not so bad.

LOUISE: Especially if
you're into huge sinkholes.

I mean, you can't
get in the door.

Customers need that, usually,

to be able to get
into the restaurant.

LINDA: Oh, hey, Mr. Dowling.

Don't worry about this at
all. We're doing great!

Seven days! (CHUCKLES)

He's shaking his head,
but that's probably

just 'cause he's got
a bug on his face.

CALVIN: Look out! (HORN BEEPS)

Landlord coming through!

Wealthy landlord coming through.

That's a big hole, Bob.

What'd you do? What?

I agree. This is in no way

caused by old and
leaky outflow pipes

that the landlord
of this property

should have replaced years ago.

Good point, sir.

Is this important?

Because, (CLEARS THROAT)

Calvin, we were right in
the middle of flyering

for Wonder Wharf
and champumping.

How long do you
think this'll take

to fill in, Mr. Fischoeder?

Well, let's see,
what year is it now?

Oh, my God. He's
kidding. (CHUCKLES)

You're kidding, right?
Yes. Let's say yes.

I'm putting you in
charge of this, Felix.

You're my ne'er-do-well brother

who no one believes in,

but maybe filling
holes is your thing.

And you just need
a chance to shine.

Grover, I'm delegating
this to you,

since you're our something.

Lawyer. And
cousin. Right. Ugh.

Anyway, the city will
take care of this.

Probably done
soon-ish? Or sooner!

See, Bob? Our hole's
getting filled.

GENE: If I had a
nickel... Gene.

Shall we champump
our way out of here?

Finish passing out these flyers?

(GULPS)

(GRUNTS, SIGHS)

I'm exhausted. (SLURPING)

"Eighty years of cheap thrills
and almost no decapitations."

Wow, that's such a low amount.

I know. Can you believe it?

She's lasted 80 years

without getting sued
out of existence

or collapsing into the sea.

LOUISE: That's what
we say about Dad.

BOB: Louise. My dad
left all this to me,

the pier, all these buildings.

I still can't tell
if it was a joke.

(COUGHS) Should've been me.

Oh, well, that
would've been funny.

Ha, true. (FELIX MUMBLES)

This says you're
gonna have live music

at the "newly half
renovated bandshell."

Yes. We've got that
accordion group,

Accordinary People.
Everybody loves them.

We've got Johnny Jazz Hands.

He does something with his hands

that I don't want
to spoil. Thank you.

And our band, the Itty
Bitty Ditty Committee!

Ha! Oh. You're serious. I'm
gonna step away from you.

All right, fellas. Let's
not be here anymore.

Bye, burger people. See
you when the rent's due.

(SCATTING) Put it in my mouth.

(SIGHS) Rent. Oh, rent.

Mr. Fischoeder.
We need your help!

CALVIN: Mm... Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

No, yeah, yeah. Oh, my.

The bank's being kinda cranky
about our business loan.

So, can we not pay you
rent for a little bit?

So we can pay the bank?

You want to not pay me rent?

Am I understanding your
ridiculous question?

Just for this month.

FELIX: Mm-mm, mm-mm. Mm.

Mm-mm. Mm.

I agree with Felix.

Well, I am of two minds,
and by that, I mean, drunk.

So, I'm going to say
maybe. FELIX: Hmm.

Oh, hush. Drive on!

FELIX AND CALVIN: ♪♪ We're
drivin g on the sidewalk ♪♪

Ha! Why "Ha"?

'Cause we don't
have to pay rent.

That'll help us with the bank.

He said, "maybe."

Yeah, but he winked
when he said it.

He's only got one eye.

How do you know
it wasn't a blink?

I can tell.

Hi, Jimmy Jr. Hi, Tina.

This is cool. It's so deep.

It's like at any moment

the Earth can just
swallow us up.

Yeah...

ANDY: 'Cause it
loves us so much.

OLLIE: Mr. Belcher, do you
have a backup restaurant,

in case the Earth gets this one?

BOB: Um, no. OLLIE: Oh.

Louise, get away from the hole.

Get away from
the hole. Please!

All right, I'm going upstairs
to go to the bathroom,

and they said we
won't be able to flush

while they're fixing
the water pipe,

so, last one to go,

I hope you had your sh*ts,

'cause it's gonna
get intense in there.

TINA: I wanna go first.
Or at least not last.

GENE: I wanna go last. I
wanna be the cherry on top!

(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHEERFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)

Stop staring at that hole,
Hole and Oates. Come to bed!

No one came in today. I know.

And now we have six days

to pay the bank. Yep.

(SIGHS) And Mr. Fischoeder

didn't call us back
about the rent.

We still don't know what
kind of "maybe" that was.

Ninety percent of
"maybes" are yeses.

Definitely not true.

We've said "maybe" to
being in Teddy's book club

so many times.

Well, they fixed the
pipe, that's good, right?

And it's a pretty blue plastic.

So modern. We're hip now. Hmm.

Hey, Mr. Mopey,

what was that thing you told
me your mother used to say?

I don't know. "Something
stinks in here"?

No. It was like,
"Hope and grit

"keeps you out of
the you-know-what."

Oh, yeah. She did say that.

I think she thought
that was very edgy.

Well, it's true, too. Mm.

Come on. Come to bed.

Tomorrow, the hole
will get all filled up,

and we'll sell a
million burgers.

And you'll be able to make
facial expressions again, huh?

Mm. Happy.

Mm. Hopeful.

Mm. Kissy lips.

(MUFFLED) Stop, please.

Closed eyes, piggy nose! Lin.

"I love Linda!" Mm.

Aw, I love you too,
Bobby! Okay, bed!

(MUFFLED) Kids,
lights out soon, okay?

We're good parents.

TINA: Tina rode
Jericho down the beach,

Jimmy Jr. rode his
horse, Vericho.

Vericho... S'vane.
From Spain...

(LAUGHING) Too slow.

JERICHO: I'm running.
I'm running. I'm running.

If you want to catch us

you'll have to take off
those bulky jeans, uh,

to be more aerodynamic.

Oh, you're doing
it already. Great!

You're right. I'm faster when
I'm just wearing underwear.

TINA: They galloped
along the endless sand,

side by side.

This is a perfect day.

All my favorite
stuff in one place.

You, my main horse, Jericho.

If only there were...
Oh, there they are.

Hi, sexy zombies.

ZOMBIES: Hi, Tina!

Damn. Oh. Hey, I have
something for you.

Oh, yeah? Is that
what I think it is?

My barrette-clace.

It's a combination of
barrette and necklace.

Cool.

Gosh, I'm so nervous.

I shouldn't be nervous
in my own fantasy.

This is a fantasy?

Don't worry about that.
Forget I said anything.

Uh, I was wondering
why I was so good

at horsetop riding. Horseback.

What? Nothing.

Wait, let's stop. Let's stop.

Whoa, whoa, Jericho.

JERICHO: (WHINES)
I hate stopping.

So, why are you nervous
in your own fantasy?

Is it because you're having
some doubts about real me,

Summer Boyfriend-wise?

Doubts, what?

I'm sensing some doubts.

Hey, how about
you have a fantasy

and you can ask a lot of
questions in that, huh?

Don't ruin this,
Fantasy Jimmy Jr.

You're ruining it.

You're making me
say these things.

I am not. Did you
lose your jeans

or your mind? Right?
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

Okay, take it easy. Ow! Ahh!

You take it easy,
okay? Tina, calm down.

What's happening? What's
happening, right now?

This is fun. We're having
fun on the friggin' beach.

Son of a butt!

(RATTLING) Mm-mm-mm!
That sounds good.

Dad's been using this
restaurant stuff all wrong.

Bibbity-bibbity-bibbity-bam!

Bibbity-bibbity-bam!
(CROWD CHEERING)

Thank you!

We are the Itty Bitty
Ditty Committee!

Yeah!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Hey, Ken! You made it!

I thought you were at a
conference in Houston.

Okay, I'll talk to you later.

Do you guys wanna
hear one more song?

(RUMBLING) What the...

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

ROBOT: Stop. What?

Stop playing. Why?

We can hear you from our planet

and it makes our teeth hurt.

GENE: You have teeth?
ROBOT: Yeah, I think so.

How about you go get some
different instruments

and maybe figure
out if music is,

I don't know, your thing?

But everyone loves us.

ROBOT: No, they
were being nice.

See? They left. GENE: Oh.

ROBOT: So, this is
getting awkward.

Look, I'm not saying
we'll destroy your planet,

but it's not, like,
off the table,

if you play one more
note on that thing.

Um... Bye.

So, thank you for coming.

I know you all have
busy schedules.

Dodomeki, Bakaneko, Okoro Kamui,

unlicensed Burobu plushie,

Kuchi Kopi, melted Kuchi...

We are happy to
be here. Kiss ass.

What's that? You heard me.

LOUISE: Fellas, please.
I've got a situation.

At school. Chloe Barbash
called me a baby.

What do we do? Ideas. Go.

sh**t her out of a cannon?
Uh, karate chop her in half?

Find a shark and
throw it at her?

These are just off
the top of my head.

I don't know if anyone
else is going to jump in?

Okay, we have cannon,
karate, shark. What else?

Why did she call you a baby?

It was the dead
man's drop thing.

I didn't wanna do it.

I was worried all my loose
change would fall out.

Okay.

All right, fine. It's also
because of my hat. My ears.

I don't know if you
guys have noticed,

but I, like, wear them a lot.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, now
that you mention it.

Some people think,

Chloe thinks that I'm
scared to not wear them.

Which is crazy. Totally.

And why's she dropping

these B-bombs on me
like it's nothing?

It's offensive. To,
you know, babies.

I mean, you are talking
to your toys right now.

Is this a bad time
to bring that up?

LOUISE: Uh, you're
collectibles.

Damaged collectibles,
some of you,

who are lucky to
still be in the mix.

Yep. Right, yep. Got it.

How are these baby-ish?

I mean, yeah, I've had
them since preschool,

and sure, I was thinking about

maybe not wearing
them anymore...

Wait, back up.

Did you say you've had
them since preschool?

Yes. You don't know the story?

Is it long? Shush! Tell us.

My parents gave me these,

because it was the
first day of preschool

and I guess I was
scared or something,

and my mom made them,
and they gave them to me

so I would be brave.

So, what I'm
hearing is your head

has not grown since preschool.

Hey, some people's
heads just start out

the perfect size and
stay that way, okay?

Guys, we're supposed to be
coming up with ideas here.

How do I step to Chloe,

get my rep back, and
just generally bring it?

Oh, oh, oh! Melted night
light idea light bulb.

Just say it.

You go in the hole.

The hole in front
of the restaurant?

Yeah, yeah! Get
video. Get it on tape.

You down in that scary hole.

Doing your thing. Interesting.

You know what they say,

babies come out of hol es,
they don't go into them.

Do they say that?
They do. All the time.

I've never heard it. Anyway,

there's your dead
man's drop, Louise.

You drop into the abyss.

That sounded cool. Admit it.

GOOD KUCHI KOPI: Your
breath's not cool.

BAD KUCHI KOPI: Oh,
please. I brushed.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

TINA: So, I'm supposed
to videotape you

climbing down into the hole

so you can show kids at school?

Yeah. 'Cause babies
don't go into holes,

they come out of them.

Okay, you have to
stop saying that.

And what am I
supposed to do again?

You say, "Louise, don't go
down there. It's dangerous."

And then, when I go
anyway, you gasp.

Like this? (GASPS)

No, do it better.

Can I say, "Honey, no"?
TINA AND LOUISE: No.

How about, (DRAWLS) "What?"

Just the line and then the
gasp is great. Thank you.

All those in favor of doing
this tomorrow morning?

Gene, I see your
hand's almost up.

No! Mom and Dad would try and
stop me. It has to be now.

Roll tape. Okay.

TINA: (DRAWLING) Uh...

(SIGHS) It's not that scary.

You're just all in
your head right now.

Get out of your head.

Big girl, pajama
pants. Come on!

(DRAMATICALLY) Louise,
don't go down there.

It's dangerous!

Louise, don't go down
there. It's dangerous!

Louise, don't go down
there. It's dangerous!

I think we got it.
That last one was good.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)

I can't.

Oh, not what I was expecting.

Yeah, well, let's just for
get I even brought it up...

(GENE AND TINA GASP)
(LOUISE SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS) Louise, are you okay?

(SIGHS) Yes!

Did you mean to wave your arms

all over the place while
falling into the hole?

'Cause if so, you nailed it.

Yes, it all went great.

Can you toss me the light?

Here. LOUISE: Ow.

Did you say, "ow"
'cause you caught it?

Great! Argh!

So, is that a wrap?

Yep. Yeah, I think we're good.

Wanna go ahead and help me out?

I'll grab the rope and try to
climb up and you guys pull.

With our arms? Okay.

Tell us when.

LOUISE: Okay, yeah,
just trying to...

(GRUNTING)

Stupid mud, I hate you.

Stay on, frickin' light.

Okay, pull. (GRUNTS)

(BOTH STRAINING)

(WHIMPERING)

Ugh. Hold on. My foot's stuck.

My foot's stuck. That's
not at all terrifying.

Everything's gonna be fine.

(SQUELCHING) (GRUNTING)

What the...

(DRAMATIC MUSIC
PLAYING) (SCREAMING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING)

(CHOKING)

(COUGHING)

(DRAWLING) So, how's our girl?

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

BOB: Now it's a crime scene.
Great, great, great, great.

TINA: That's the spirit, Dad!

Oh, my baby. My sweet baby.

Enough, Mom! I'm okay.

Take it easy with
the baby stuff.

Sorry, sorry. Oh, come here.

(KISSING NOISILY)
My baby. Mom!

I know someone's dead

and their bones
fell on your face.

In my mouth! In my mouth!

Let's just be clear.
I tasted death.

I'm sorry you tasted death,
Louise, but this is bad.

I don't think they fill in
crime holes very quickly.

Crime hole. Gene.

Oh, yeah, they're really slow.

Oh, hey, Sergeant Bosco.

Yeah, they brush the dirt
away with tiny little tools.

And their lunch
break takes forever,

'cause they use tiny forks.

I'm kidding about
the forks thing,

but yeah, it's
gonna take a while.

Aw, nuts. (BOB SIGHS)

You know, they found a
b*llet lodged in the ribs.

And I don't think he fell on it,

if you know what I mean.

So, it's in front of your
restaurant, did you do it?

What? No!

Okay, easy. Just checking.

You sure? Yes, I'm sure.

I don't know. One time I
saw him crumple a receipt

in a way that made
me uncomfortable.

So much rage! Gene.

Crime hole! Crime hole!

Tina. Sorry.

Well, I'm gonna split.

Back to Robbery
Division, which is just

as good as Homicide,
maybe better.

Everyone says that.

Sometimes Homicide begs for
help from us Robbery guys.

Hey! Get out of here!
Get out of here, go!

(WHIMPERING)

All right, kids, you gotta
get out of here, too.

Go to school and don't go in
any more holes, you hear me?

And stay away from crevices.

Oh, my sweet baby.
Come here, come here!

(KISSING NOISILY) Mom!

ANDY: You love me.
OLLIE: And you love me.

ANDY: And you love me.
OLLIE: And you love me.

ANDY: Time for us
to get married.

I do! I do! I do!

What are you looking at
there? A fun rock? (GASPS)

Louise, that's evidence!

You should have given
that to the police!

What? Tooth-ifer? No, no, no.
This is mine. I earned it.

When you go into a hole...

Accidently fall into
a hole. A-bup-bup!

Gracefully tumble
in while screaming?

Go into a hole,

you get to keep whatever lands
in your mouth. That's a rule.

That's true under
the bleachers, too!

Plus, look at it.

Isn't it the weirdest shaped
tooth you've ever seen?

Okay, maybe not
too close. (GAGS)

You can't handle the tooth!

It was in my mouth, Tina!

It's just, I think it's, like,

against the law for
you to have that.

Don't worry. It's
just a souvenir.

I'll keep it to myself.

Check it, people.

A dead man's tooth. (ALL GASP)

And she's showing
the whole school.

I went down to the
sinkhole at night,

found a skeleton, this
tooth fell in my mouth.

Did somebody say that's badass?

Like the ultimate
dead man's drop?

I mean, I guess,
maybe, I don't know.

It was very dramatic,

and we got it all on tape. Oh!

But we gotta get it
transferred to a format

that anyone else
in the world has.

I think my dad h as
that kinda player.

This just looks like that kind.

Questions?

Oh, my God, Eli put his retainer

on a chain and gave it to you?

So romantic.

Yeah, we're gonna be summer
boyfriend-girlfriend.

JOCELYN: Wait, but
doesn't he, like, need it?

TAMMY: What are you, a doctor?

JOCELYN: I don't know.
TAMMY: Where's your pager?

Hmm, maybe this is a good
time to bring this baby out.

Cafeteria, pretty
magical setting.

Just gotta untangle
it a little bit,

and then it's time for
that special moment.

JIMMY JR.: Hey, Zeke, throw
a chicken nugget in my mouth.

Okay.

Ow. Throw it again.

Ow. Throw it again.

God, he's still trying to catch

that chicken nugget
in his mouth.

His whole eighth grade year.

Ow. Throw it again. Should
we just not do this?

No, I wanna be able to say

I caught a chicken
nug get in my mouth.

More than anything.

Otherwise, this has
all been a waste.

I see your point.
We'll get you there.

(SIGHS) Maybe now's not right.
He's got a lot going on.

But still excited
about this. Whoo-hoo.

And that's why I'm starting
my foundation, Sinkhole Kids.

It's to help kids who've
been in sinkholes.

It changes you. Some
people can't handle it.

Fourth graders, why are
you not sitting down?

Or are you sitting?

It's hard to tell.
You're all so small.

Hey! Oh, Louise,

I have been meaning to ask you,

where'd you get your hat?

I want to get one like
that for my niece.

She's three and
she loves bunnies.

(CHLOE GIGGLING)
Back off, Labonz.

What? I'm trying
to cheer her up.

Potty training's not going well.

(LOUISE GRUNTS) It's nasty.

Oh, hello, Louise.

Did you have a nice,
nutritious meal?

(LOUISE GROWLS) (GASPS)

Stupid Chloe Barbash,
laughing. I'll laugh at her.

She's not gonna laugh at me.

What? Nothing.

Okay, uh, call me
back. Thank you. Bye.

So, how many times is it okay

to call your landlord
and leave a message?

Depends. Does he
like-like you?

I still can't believe
we were livin'

above a dead body
this whole time.

I couldn't even tell.

I wonder who the skeleton was.

George Washington?

I can't think of any
other dead people.

Well, whoever it was, they
were m*rder*d to death,

then buried to death
by a m*rder*r-burier.

And a Scorpio, probably.

I'm gonna call
him one more time.

(ALL PROTESTING)
Easy, Bob, easy.

Lin, we have to pay the bank.

You shout that a lot now.

We only have four days left.

There's no way we can pay rent

and come up with
the bank's money.

We haven't sold any burgers.

Teddy's had a lot of burgers.

Right. We haven't
sold any burgers

to someone besides Teddy.

Oh, my God. Look it. They're
talking about our hole.

The skeleton discovered

earlier this morning
under Ocean Avenue

has been identified

as missing Wonder Wharf
employee, Daniel DeAngelo,

widely known to park
customers as Cotton Candy Dan.

Cotton Candy Dan?

Is that the guy
who sold corndogs?

Mom, shush.

Police sources tell
Channel Six news

that a suspect is being
taken into custody tonight.

A-ha! There you go.
They have a suspect.

Now they'll un-crime scene
our hole and fill it in.

And Mr. Fischoeder
will call us back too,

and he'll tell us we
can slide on the rent,

and we'll be on easy street.

If easy street had a
big hole in it, huh?

(SIGHS) Maybe you're right.

Sorry. Sorry, I
was freaking out.

Sorry, everybody.

Something's just come in.
This is breaking news.

Wonder Wharf owner,
Calvin Fischoeder,

has been arrested

and charged with the m*rder

of Cotton Candy
Dan. (ALL GASP)

What the... Oh, my God.

Okay, that's not good.

We now go live to
police headquarters.

REPORTER: Mr. Fischoeder,
do you have

any comments for
us at this time?

I haven't k*lled any carnies.

There. I think that
clears everything up.

I refer all further questions

to my personal attorney

and personal cousin,
Grover Fischoeder.

My client is innocent
and we're gonna prove it.

Yeah, sure, a b*llet
from my brother's g*n

was found in the guy's body.
Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

FELIX: And sure, a lot of
people heard him yelling,

"I'm going to k*ll you, carnie,

"and I'm going to bury your body

"where no one can
find it." Sure.

GROVER: Uh... Yeah.
But who among us

hasn't said those exact words

while gambling with carnies
on a stormy night, huh?

Uh, no one. We've
all said those words.

(SIGHS) Maybe we'll
be his one phone call?

Oh, the weather.

(FORECASTER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY)

TEDDY: Hey, Wharfiversary
stuff's still going on.

I heard they're doing
half-priced rides

and free popcorn.

Yeah, kinda busy out there.

TEDDY: Hmm, people do not
seem to mind going to a park

owned by a m*rder*r.

LINDA: If only we could
get to the people.

Why can't restaurants
move around, you know?

Just hop over the hole. Huh.

Why can't buildings
have little legs?

That'd be cute. Yeah.

Or motors, and wheels?

That's cars.

Oh, yeah. That's cars.

(DRAWLING) Oh, God.

Oh, no.

Oh, boy. Is Dad okay?

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no. LINDA: Um...

Dad, I don't wanna
stop your flow,

but can you pass the pilaf?

Oh, God. That's butter.

You know what?
Butter's better.

(CONTINUES DRAWLING) Oh, no.

How you doin' there, big guy?

(SIGHS) I don't know.

I mean, I held it together

in front of the
kids during dinner,

but I'm really worried.

Oh, yeah? I couldn't tell.

It's just our landlord's
gonna go to prison.

The bank's gonna
call in our loan,

and then they'll take
our restaurant stuff,

and we will live in
a box on the street.

This is what's gonna happen.

Oh, Bob, I need you.
The kids need you.

What do you mean? You
and the kids need me

to not go out of business.

No. Going out of business
down there is not as bad

as going out of
business in there.

My soft pec?

No, your heart.

Look, I know you're
Droopy Bob right now.

But you know who else
is in there? Dreamy Bob.

The guy who wanted
to open a restaurant

in the first place,

slap his name on it,

make cuckoo crazy burgers
with wild ingredients.

A new one every day.

I did not say "cuckoo
crazy" burgers.

I would not say that.

You know what I mean.
Super funky burgers.

Well, no matter what I said,

I think that may be
Dreamy Bob is dumb

and Droopy Bob just kinda
sees things the way they are.

You know what you
gotta do to Droopy Bob?

Um, what?

You gotta punch him in
the nuts, like this.

Ow! Sorry, sorry, sorry.

But you know what I'm
saying. It's like a metaphor.

Like this. Ow!

Stop! It's not a metaphor
if you actually do it.

Yes, it is.

I'm going to
sleep. Good night.

And, hey, who knows,

maybe Mr. Fischoeder
is innocent.

He gets out, we put
that wink in the bank.

I don't know if he's innocent,
but he is going to prison.

Well, at least the
other prisoners

will like his eyepatch.

That's a good look for prison.

You know, conversation starter.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Bye, kids. Have fun at school.

Gene, I hope we do okay
on that math homework.

I was really wingin' it. Four.

I hope so too. Good guess.

(GENE AND TINA YELP)

All right. Emergency
kid meeting.

What? Now? Here?

Yeah, we gotta talk.

Outdoor, before school,
emergency kid meeting?

Is this about
whatever's going on

with Tina's bangs right now?

I've been wanting to
fix them all morning.

Wait, what?
LOUISE: No, listen.

I heard Mom and Dad
talking last night.

The restaurant is
in big trouble.

Boy trouble? Girl
trouble? All the trouble.

Mr. Fischoeder
can't go to prison.

If he does, Mom and
Dad won't be able

to pay the bank,
and then that's it.

No more restaurant.

And what are we gonna do
with Mom and Dad after school

if there's no more restaurant?

Huh. Sign them up for sports?

But the good news is,

I think Mr. Fischoeder
is innocent.

Innocent? But what
about how guilty he is?

Well, why was he so
relaxed about that hole?

If you had buried a
guy in that exact spot,

wouldn't you be a little
more anxious to fill it in?

Or at least go sneak
that sucker out of there

and stick them somewhere else?

Like how you re-hide
your journal every night?

No, I don't.

So, here's the plan.

We need to skip school...

No. Yes.

We need to gather evidence,
talk to witnesses.

We need to start now.

But, Louise, if you don't think

Mr. Fischoeder
did it, who did?

Here's what I'm thinking.

This was actually a beef
between two carnies.

Beef con carnie.
LOUISE: Mm-hmm.

You get your hands
on Fischoeder's g*n,

you settle your score
with Cotton Candy Dan,

you just got away with m*rder.

So, what do we do
with that theory?

Turn it into a graphic novel.

LOUISE: No, we go talk
to our old pal Mickey.

He's a carnie now.

He probably knows all
the carnie gossip.

And I brought all
the gear we'll need.

Snacks, gum, night light.

Oh, snacks. I'm in.

Night light? Yeah.
In case it gets dark.

I thought we were doing
this during school time.

I don't know why I
mentioned the light.

Let's just get our
bikes, shall we?

(SIGHS) Fine. I did forget
to do a bunch of homework.

Great. So, we have to
get past the back door

without Mom and Dad seeing us.

Stay low, follow my lead.
Try to look like alley trash.

GENE: Or raccoon poop.

(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISPERS) We did
that really well.

All right. Save
Mr. Fischoeder,

save the restaurant,
solve a m*rder.

On three. One, two, three.

ALL: Save Mr. Fischoeder,

save the restaurant,
solve a m*rder.

And prove we're not babies,
and Chloe Barbash is dumb.

Okay, let's move.

This is how Law and Order
should start. Every time.

LOUISE: Hi, we're
looking for Mickey.

Mickey? LOUISE: Yeah. Mickey.

Brown hair, used to rob banks,
nice guy. Works here now.

No, I know Mickey. He owes
me three seventy-five.

Dollars? And seventy-five.

Cents? Yeah, cents.

LOUISE: Where is he working
today? Scream-i-cane?

Ah, he's off till second shift.

Do you know where he lives?

We could probably remind him
about the three seventy-five?

He lives in Carniapolis.

Most of the carnies
live in Carniapolis.

That makes sense.

Where is Carniapolis?

Hang a left at the
old dog food building.

But don't go there.

Don't go there? The
dog food building?

Yeah, down past the stadium.

You'll smell it, then go left.
But seriously, don't go there.

Uh, is there a reason you
keep saying, "Don't go there"?

Because you
shouldn't. Okey dokey.

Just wanted to clarify,
but, um, why should we...

Hi, is the park open?

No, I'm just here 'cause I'm
trapped inside this booth.

Yes, we're open. All
rides half off today.

The only crime would be

to not take advantage
of these prices.

Okay, new sign. I
think this is the one.

"We have a 'hole'
new look." BOB: Mm.

"Come on in through the alley.

"It's not weird.
Love, Linda and Bob."

BOB: I guess that's
professional.

"P.S., alley smells like
pee, restaurant is fine."

(MAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)

Oh, Bob. Dirt.

BOB: Dirt? Dirt.

BOB: (GRUNTS) I'm getting up.

Oh, dirt. They're
gonna fill in the hole.

LINDA: Yeah. Look at them.

LINDA: (GASPS) Uh...

Where are they going?
BOB: They are leaving.

LINDA: And they're
leaving the dirt?

BOB: They are
leaving the dirt.

Do we put it in ourselves, or...

They probably have
someone else coming.

A dirt installer? Mm.

It's nice. It's like
a little mountain.

I don't like it. I think
it should be in the hole.

LINDA: Mm. Bob.
Linda. Come. Come see.

Uh...

(IMITATES FANFARE) I call it
the Mobile Bob Burger Mobile.

So, you can sell
burgers in the street.

You could go anywhere.
Hot street meat.

It's my grill from home,
but I upgraded the wheels,

and I put these bars on
it so you can move it.

LINDA: Oh, wow. Uh-huh. It's
got a cooler for drinks.

Got a little
umbrella here. Ah!

You got a place to
keep buns and toppings.

I figure, you
grill, Linda serves,

and I'll push it around for you.

So, I'll be there the
whole time with you guys,

keeping the banter going,

being part of each
other's lives.

You know, laughing,
loving, learning.

Teddy, Teddy, Teddy.

It's so nice of you
to do this. But we...

we don't have a license to
sell food on the street.

We could get fined.

(CHUCKLES) Nah.

I'll keep an eye
out for the cops.

I don't think we can...
LINDA: I love it.

Wait, what'd you
say? I love it.

Right? You can't get the
people to your burgers,

you bring the burgers to them.

(SIGHS) I feel like
we're just skipping over

my "we don't have
a license" comment.

Oh, come on, Bob.
It's not a law, right?

It's like I'm supposed
to wear a hairnet

when I work in the
kitchen, but I never do.

That's a law. Also a
law. They're both laws.

Bob, we have to sell

some burgers
today, right? Yes.

LINDA: We got four
days to pay the bank.

That's true. Come on.

Okay, fine. But only
because we're desperate.

This place can't close.

I can't live if
livin' is without you.

Teddy. I said we
could do it. Oh, good.

Let's light this sucker up, huh?

You got it. (ALL YELP)

No problem. No problem.

Just gotta check the gas line.

Might have had it up a
little bit high. (CHUCKLES)

You guys meet me back here
with some ground beef,

and some comfortable shoes,

and maybe an apron for me

so we all kinda have a uniform.

Oh, that gives me an idea.

Bob, I gotta go up to
the apartment real quick.

Be right back. Okay,
Bob, grab your meat.

Please don't shout that at me.

Right, right. (WHISPERS)
Grab your meat.

Smells like the most stuff
you can grind up to make food.

TINA: Oh, look, that
was their slogan.

GENE: Huh.

TINA: This doesn't look
right. No one lives here.

GENE: I don't know
why. It's beautiful.

(INDISTINCT YELLING)

LOUISE: Whoa, you hear that?

TINA: Huh. They sound cranky.

LOUISE: Let's check it
out. TINA: Oh, okay.

I miss school.

I'm feeling suddenly
like I love fractions.

TINA: Yeah, I wanna learn
about photosynthesis

so badly right now.

If this is Carniapolis,

maybe we shouldn't disturb

their scary sounding
carnie time?

I mean, it's a little like
they're deciding who to shiv

and if they see us, they'll be
like, "Oh, let's shiv them."

But you know, maybe not.

(INDISTINCT YELLING CONTINUES)

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)

TINA: Are they playing
a game with duckies?

GENE: Adorably?

Lucky ducky.
Lucky ducky. Damn.

Kids. Hi, Mickey.

How's it going?

You here to buy dr*gs?
You don't buy dr*gs.

I can't even swallow pills.

We have to hide
them in his food.

We, uh, wanted to ask
you some questions.

Mickey, your turn.

Oh. Can you skip me?

We play lucky ducks, but
we play carnie rules.

TINA: Seems fun.

There's more beer and yelling

than when kids play
it at Wonder Wharf.

Yeah, well, we're
toasting Cotton Candy Dan.

That's why we're also gambling

and pushing each other
and punching each other.

The first shift folks made
a nice little memorial

to put on the pier
in his old spot.

And us second shift folks
are, uh, doing this.

Uh-huh.

(WHISPERS) Just ask
him. (WHISPERS) I will.

But pretty soon, right?

Give me a second.
I can't just say,

"Hey, Mickey, which carnie
k*lled Cotton Candy Dan?"

Wait, did you say,

"Which carnie k*lled
Cotton Candy Dan?"

(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

LOUISE: It did sound
like that, didn't it?

You come in to Carniapolis

and accuse a carnie of
k*lling another carnie?

I think that's
right. Is that right?

You know, it's bad enough

that Mr. Fischoeder
kills one of us,

which is bad boss
alert, am I right?

Yeah. But to throw
it back on us?

Hey, hey, they're just kids.

Kid cops. Little kid cops.
They have those, you know?

For going into small
spaces and hiding in boxes.

Nah, I know these guys.

They're not cops. They're
little burger babies.

(LOUISE GROWLS) Maybe
don't use that word.

What? "Burger"?
Sorry. Meat patties?

It's just too much.

First Fischoeder kills
Cotton Candy Dan, now this?

I may have a tattoo of a dagger

stabbing a heart going
up into his skull

and it says "dead inside,"
but I have feelings, you know?

♪♪ Some lucky ducks
get all the luck

♪♪ Some break their
backs to make a buck

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪♪
And sure, we are a bunch

♪♪ Of shady criminal-ish
gents and ladies

♪♪ But we did our time ♪♪ Yeah

♪♪ We paid for our
crimes Well, most of us.

♪♪ And our misdemeanors

♪♪ Now we sell fried
dough and wieners

♪♪ Even though we're kinda
sketchy gals and fellas

♪♪ Doesn't mean that Fischoeder

♪♪ Can go and
k*ll us ♪♪ Uh-uh!

♪♪ Working here can really be

♪♪ A roller coaster
CARNIE: Hup!

♪♪ One day you're
cleaning vomit

♪♪ Next you're on
a missing poster

♪♪ It's such a drag

♪♪ To have a boss

♪♪ Who pays you bad
♪♪ Who pays us bad

♪♪ Then bumps you off

♪♪ Some lucky ducks

♪♪ Get all the luck
♪♪ Oh, yes, they do

♪♪ But that's not us No, sir.

♪♪ Unlucky schmucks Sing it.

♪♪ It really stinks

(GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY)
♪♪ It really sucks

♪♪ So we'll just
play our lucky ducks

Cool. Have fun with that.

Should we get going?

♪♪ Some lucky ducks
get all the luck

♪♪ You've said your
piece, now listen up

♪♪ To me, your life,
it seems just fine

♪♪ You think that's
bad? Try being nine

♪♪ The other day,
things got real crazy

♪♪ A girl at school
called me a baby

(ALL GASP) What?

Yeah.

♪♪ Even though I'm small,
well, I can tell you for sure

♪♪ I'm gonna be the one

♪♪ That solves this
frickin' m*rder

♪♪ I know you all think
Fischoeder's the one

♪♪ Who did it

♪♪ But I will find the
evidence to get him acquitted

♪♪ I'm just a kid ALL:
♪♪ It's such a drag

♪♪ That's what they
say ♪♪ To have a boss

♪♪ Now run along
♪♪ Who pays you bad

♪♪ Now go and play
♪♪ Then bumps you off

♪♪ Some lucky ducks
♪♪ It really stinks

♪♪ Get all the luck
♪♪ It really sucks

♪♪ Until I show ♪♪
So we'll just play

♪♪ Them what is what
♪♪ Our lucky ducks

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

♪♪ I'm gonna show them

♪♪ All what I can do
(CARNIES VOCALIZING)

♪♪ Gonna show 'em I'm
much braver than what you

♪♪ Think that I am,
even though I'm small

♪♪ No matter whatever,
gonna show you all ♪♪

LOUISE: Come on. We
don't need their help.

TINA: Have a nice day.

See, they're not cops.

Cops don't dance
around like that.

They dance like this. (GRUNTS)

LOUISE: (SCOFFS) More
like Carni-crapolis.

GENE: I liked it.

I think I'm gonna have my
next birthday party there.

TINA: Oh, good idea.

Yeah, the theme's
gonna be "disgruntled."

That's nice.

Um... Am I being paranoid,

or is that big scary
carnie following us?

(GASPS) Maybe he
just remembered

that he forgot to m*rder us.

Oh, God. Quick, this way.

(ALL PANTING)

TINA: Dead end.

GENE: That's worse
than split ends.

Uh, Tina, why'd you
say go this way?

TINA: I didn't. (ALL SCREAM)

(GASPS) Oh, sorry.
Didn't mean to scare you.

No, no, of course not.

Just following kids into alleys.

Everybody loves that.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Is there something
we can do for you?

You were asking who wanted
to k*ll Cotton Candy Dan?

No, I mean, before.

But not anymore.
We've moved on.

I got something to tell you.

I didn't wanna
say it back there.

They don't wanna hear
what I gotta say.

We're listening.

But maybe not
making eye contact.

I was there that
night, you know?

The last night anyone saw Dan.

You were? Yeah.

We were playing lucky
ducky on the wharf.

And sure, Dan and
Mr. Fischoeder

got into a big fight.

Mr. Fischoeder started
throwing ducks at Dan's head.

He kept yelling "duck,"
and it was confusing.

I can see that.

Anyway, after the
game, I went back

'cause I forgot my stress ball.

And it's just Dan,
Mr. Fischoeder,

and Felix Fischoeder,

and they're yelling
at each other,

and they're all throwing ducks.

Wait. Felix was at the game?

No. He wasn't.

Mr. Fischoeder doesn't
let him play lucky ducky

because Felix gives
all the duckies

different voices
and personalities

and it makes it take a while.

That's why it was weird that
he showed up that night.

But nobody back
there wants to hear

that maybe Mr. Fischoeder
didn't do it.

Oh, my God. Of course.

Felix Fischoeder.
It's so Felix.

He has access to
Mr. Fischoeder's g*n.

He was fighting with
both Mr. Fischoeder

and Cotton Candy Dan.

And most importantly,
he has a motive.

He has a motive to
frame his brother.

Because he's mad

Mr. Fischoeder doesn't like
his lucky ducky voices?

No, because I bet you

if Mr. Fischoeder goes to
jail, Felix gets his money.

We gotta go to the cops.

Oh. Uh, mind if I
don't go to the cops?

I have to pick up
my dry cleaning,

because it's dry now.

LOUISE: Yeah, no
problem. Okay.

LOUISE: Let's go,
let's go, let's go.

GENE: Thank you, scary
carnie. Love you. Bye.

CARNIE: Bye.

TEDDY: Well, everything
fits perfectly.

What's this for?

Olive bar. What?

I thought you could
have imported olives,

and they could go there.

Oh. I'm not sure... While
you wait for a burger,

you help yourself to
an imported olive.

Okay.

I got these on my way
over. You can pay me later.

Mm. Mobile Bob Burger Mobile

is a little fancier than
restaurant Bob Burgers.

You'll get used to it.

Where's Linda? I feel like
she's missing all the fun

of us setting up
this cart together.

Ta-da!

What's happening? I get it.

No questions from this guy.

I'm the marketing department.

I took Gene's burger suit,

let out the crotch a
little bit, and bam.

I'll push the product,
while you push the cart.

But the bikini. It's summer.

And sex sells,
baby. Yeah, Bob.

Is that sex? A burger
with a bikini on it?

Uh, yeah. LINDA: Mm-hmm.

Okay, let's do it.

Yay. All right.

I dreamt this. Oh.
No, don't tell us.

No, it was nice.

Linda wasn't in it. It was
just a burger in a bikini.

BOB: Yeah, still
don't tell us.

TEDDY: I'm so happy right now.
Let's go save your restaurant!

Sergeant Bosco. (SPLUTTERS)

Holy smokes, you scared
me. Sorry. Sorry.

Don't sneak up on a cop.

That's our job. We
sneak up on you.

Why are you here?

We went to the police station,
where you live, I assume.

But nobody from Homicide
would talk to us.

So, then we went to
look for you in Robbery,

but they said you
were on a stakeout.

And they told you where I was?

They said you were
at a dangerous

biker g*ng headquarters,

and we said, "The
One Eyed Snakes"?

And they said, "Yeah,"

and we said, "Oh,
we know those guys."

And they were like, "What?"

And we were like, "Yeah,
they're really nice."

Get down, get down. (SHUSHING)

GENE: You get down.
TINA: (WHISPERS) Gene.

GENE: (WHISPERING) Sorry.
We are also getting down.

What are we looking for?

(WHISPERS) Bikers.

Right. But, doing what?

We got a tip that they stole
a bunch of karaoke machines,

and I'm watching to see if
they try and move the goods.

That doesn't seem like
their kind of crime.

CRITTER: ♪♪ Come
on, shake your body

♪♪ Baby, do the conga

♪♪ You know you can't control
yourself any longer ♪♪

Oh, okay. SERGEANT
BOSCO: Mm-hmm.

Anyway, we're here to tell you

that the police
have the wrong guy.

Mr. Fischoeder didn't
k*ll Cotton Candy Dan.

His brother, Felix, did.

Wait, aren't you kids
supposed to be in that place

with the books and adults
that tell you stuff?

Adult bookstore? No.

School? Yeah. School.

Some of us think we
are supposed to be

in school right now. Yes.

Tina, the restaurant, remember?

If Mr. Fischoeder
goes to jail,

the restaurant goes under.

Down under.

Where the didgeridoo
whatever they're gonna do.

(GRUNTS) Get out.

Get out of my unmarked
stakeout vehicle.

Go catch tadpoles
or whatever kids do.

Go catch tadpoles? Yeah.

Tadpoles? Yeah.

The things that turn into frogs.

We know what they are.

I was pretty sure.
Not bad to clarify.

We're city folk. Oh, I see.

You're just Robbery.
SERGEANT BOSCO: Mm.

You couldn't help
even if you wanted to.

Because it's a homicide.

You don't know anything
about that case, do you?

I know stuff. I
know all the stuff.

Name one stuff.

I know something that's
not in the papers.

(SCOFFS) Yeah, right. I do.

They found a cufflink in
the hole, near the body.

Yeah? A very unique cufflink.

Custom. It's a banana
wearing a graduation hat.

Hmm, classy. Carnies
don't wear cufflinks.

True. Lotta t*nk tops.

I know carnies don't
wear cufflinks.

They searched
Fischoeder's house,

but they haven't
found the other one.

Huh. Yeah.

But I bet they didn't
search Felix's.

We need to go to Felix's place
and look for that cufflink.

Go, go, go.

Hate it. Terrible
plan. Don't like it.

Oh, good. Looks
like you're taking

your annoying conversation
somewhere else. Bye.

Sergeant Bosco, you
know you left the light

on the top of your car.

Huh? What? Oh, damn
it. Son of a...

Argh. Okay. At
least no one saw.

They don't know I'm here.

Get away. Get
away. Shoo. Shoo.

Hey, kids. Hey, Louise.

LOUISE: Hey, Critter.
You bothering

that nice policeman? No.

I'm not a policeman.
What are you...

Son of a... Dang nab.

Oh, my bad. You're just
a regular guy. I'm sorry.

Your badge is on the dashboard.

Can they see that?

And your coffee says
"Sergeant Bosco" on it.

All right, get away.

Fresh hot burgers.
Sexy burgers.

BOB: Lin. What?

♪♪ You wanna eat a burger ♪♪

Does she look like a
weird streetwalker?

Not too much.

How's the burger? It's great.

I've never eaten outside before.

Wait, what? MAN: Hi.

Are you selling
burgers? We are.

I'll take a cheeseburger.

What was it? What made
you want a burger?

I was hungry.

And then you saw a... Cart.

And a person dressed as a...

She's not with us. Shoo, shoo.

Oh, Bob.

Fresh hot burgers. Sexy
burgers. Fresh hot...

(GASPS) Bob, it's Hugo.

TEDDY: Hugo the
health inspector?

Oh, God. They know we don't
have a license to do this.

Um, did you mean
for me to hear that?

Shh! Crouch down.

Okay, but I feel a
little weird about it.

It's just quite a
coincidence, that's all.

I start using chapstick,
and then, all of a sudden,

you start using chapstick?

Why can't you just be flattered?

Oh, fine, use it.
Oh, thank God.

(WHISPERING) They're
gonna see us.

Let's hide in Wonder
Wharf. Teddy, let's move.

I'm still eating my burger.

Do I go, too?

Yes, stay low.

Are you coming, Ron?

Sorry, putting on my chapstick.

HUGO: Hmm.

Hmm?

Hmm.

(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISPERS) Treehouse. Go.

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

Hmm. Hmm.

Heaven? Sounds like heaven.

I think she's saying
we're number one.

But we're "not all
there, upstairs."

Oh, my God. I'm saying
let's go up the ladder

and listen for Felix,
and see if he's in there.

Oh, that makes more
sense. TINA: Mm-hmm.

(IN ADULT-LIKE VOICE)
Felix Fischoeder?

That treehouse hot tub
you ordered is here.

(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Okay, he's not home.

Oh, God.

People, we are looking
for a banana cufflink.

An educated banana cufflink.

Also, we might be in
a m*rder*r's house,

just an FYI.

Yep, yep. If he comes
home, you fight him.

TINA: Uh...

(DOG CARNIE GRUNTING
RHYTHMICALLY)

DOG CARNIE: Oh. Ooh.

BOB: Okay, uh, do
we go back out now?

See if the coast is clear?

Or do we stay here? Sell
these folks some burgers?

Um, I mean...

What? Let them throw up
our food on the rides.

Hey, look.

Bob Burgers is getting
a little bit of a line.

LINDA: No. We are
not Bob Burgers.

We work here now.

(GRUNTS) At the wharf.

I mean, we don't.

But, I guess we could
stay for a little bit.

Also, we were never Bob Burgers.

Hello, ma'am. Sir.

You can order anything

from the top-third of the
front of the menu there,

and anything from the left
side of the middle section

on the back of the menu.

And you are welcome

to an imported olive
while you wait.

Can I get the toothpick
back when you're done?

Bob's looking at me funny.

Never mind. That
is yours to keep.

(SIGHS) I don't think it's here.

We looked everywhere.

It's definitely not

in this soft, soft
cashmere sweater

that I'm just
rubbing and rubbing.

Or is it? Better keep looking.

(GRUNTS HAPPILY)

FELIX: (MUFFLED)
Yeah, I just got home.

(GASPS) Crap, he's
home. Quick, hide.

FELIX: Are you at your house?

(TINA WHIMPERING)

(WHISPERING) We all
did a terrible job.

Gene, you're just
standing against the wall.

(WHISPERING) Where
he'd least suspect.

Crap. Everybody
into the closet.

FELIX: I'm just
going upstairs.

Gonna get some stuff
out of the closet.

(ALL GASP) Crap.
Everybody out.

What about there?

LOUISE: Yes,
quick. Go, go, go.

This is lovely.

Shh! All right.

Don't look, don't look,
don't look, don't look.

Okay, now look. FANNY: No.

Fanny. Fashion show. No.

Yes. Look. No, I'm sleepy.

(WHISPERS) Is that Fanny?
I thought she was in jail.

I guess she's out, and they're
trying to make it work.

I mean, the chemistry's there.

Fanny, Fanny,
Fanny, Fanny, Fanny.

This is my travel
outfit. Look.

You'll love it.
Look, look. Uh-uh.

Come on.

Fleeing the country is a
once in a lifetime thing.

We deserve to look
good doing it.

I don't wanna flee the
country. It's too far.

Oh, wait, that's cute.

Yay. Okay. What
are you gonna wear?

A hat that looks like shorts,

and shorts that look like a hat.

Okay. It works. Trust me.

Should we talk and pack or...

Bye. Okay.

All right, I'll meet
you at the place.

♪♪ Fleeing the country,
fleeing the country

♪♪ Fleeing the country ♪♪

Felix and Fanny
framed Fischoeder,

and now they're fleeing
the freaking country.

I can't believe it.

Mm, little stuffy in here.

Opening these
guys. (TINA GASPS)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(WHISPERING) I think we
can climb down from here.

Tina, you go first.

What? Oh, God.

(WHIMPERING)

GENE: Mm.

(GENE GRUNTING)

LOUISE: Weird place to
put your dirty dishes.

TINA: I mean, he is
a m*rder*r. Maybe.

Yeah, murderers probably leave

their dishes all over the place.

Gene, try that door.

(GENE GASPS)

Gene, what did you do?

I don't know. (WHIMPERS)

This is gonna help me with
childbirth later in life.

(GRUNTS) Thank you.

Okay, I have some questions
about this moving balcony.

LOUISE: I think it's
how he gets his meals

and sends back his dishes.

GENE: Oh, then I
love it. (GASPS)

Suitcase, suitcase,
you're gonna fly.

Oh, my God. He's gonna see us.

(GASPS)

(ALL STRAINING QUIETLY)

What am I forgetting?
Have my mints.

Packed my sleeping shorts.

(CLICKING TONGUE)
Ah, I'm good.

My wet wipes.

Ah, I can hire a wet
wiper when I get there.

LOUISE: Oh, thank God.

But he's gonna get away.
We gotta follow him.

Nope. Doesn't sound right.

Gene, back me up on this.

You can hire a wet wiper?

(ALL GRUNT)

I'm okay.

All right. We'll follow him,

and call the police when
we see what his plan is.

GENE: I want a
moving dish balcony.

Here you go. Totally
normal Wonder Wharf burger.

We've sold a lot of food.

Teddy, this cart is perfect.

I mean, not perfect,
but it's great.

(SNIFFLING) No big deal.
Just helping out a friend.

But, maybe we should
move around a little bit.

So we don't get
caught doing this.

We're not gonna get caught.
Bob, we fit right in.

A family just took
a picture with me.

No, I saw that.

A family was surprised when
you jumped in their picture.

A lucky family.

Please, can we move to be safe?

Oh, fine. TEDDY: Let's do it.

We're moving locations, people.

Lin, shh. Oh, Bob. Relax.

Everything's going
great. (OBJECTS SHATTER)

What was that? Back
it up. Back it up.

It's some cotton candy, and
a picture, and a candle...

(GASPS) It's a little
shrine for Cotton Candy Dan.

Oh, no. Uh, it's fine.

I'm gonna put it all
back together over here.

Okay, that's broken. Oh. Oops.

That's not gonna stand up.

It's all right.
Nobody saw, right?

What the... LINDA: Oh, boy.

TEDDY: Uh-oh.

BOB: Oh, crap. Are
you kidding me?

Well, why was it on
the ground like that?

'Cause that was his spot.

Okay, yeah. That's
a good reason.

We worked really hard
on that memorial. Kinda.

Also, who are you?

Nobody.

Is that guy picking
up a lead pipe?

Oh, it's a hotdog. Still.

BOB: We should maybe
leave the park.

We can't get to the exit.
We'd have to get through him.

Oh, my God. Okay,
uh, new idea.

Linda, Teddy,
let's, uh, just run.

LINDA: Yep. Yep.
We're running.

FELIX: Excuse me. Whoopsie.
Pa-pa-pap-pap-pap.

LOUISE: Why is Felix
going into Wonder Wharf

if he wants to flee the country?

Is Wonder Wharf in
international waters?

Maybe he wants to win
a goldfish real quick.

No bikes on the pier.

LOUISE: Yeah, no, we know.

We're friends now though,

so, it's okay, right?
Yeah, thank you.

I know that Felix is a m*rder*r,

but it's kinda sweet
that he and Fanny

are gonna flee the
country together.

It's a real he-fled,
she-fled situation.

What? Tina, get your
head outta your boobs.

Right. Right.

(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Hey, Tina... (GASPS)

you're not really thinking

about Felix and Fanny, are you?

Fantasy Jimmy Jr., what
are you doing here?

You're thinking about me.
You're thinking about this.

Boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom.

Holy crap.

Phew! I don't have
time for this.

But that question
you wanna ask me.

You're not nervous
that I'll say no.

You're nervous
that I'll say yes.

And that real me

is just never gonna be
as good as fantasy me.

Dang it, Jimmy Jr.,
not now. (YELPS)

Oh, sorry. FANTASY
JIMMY JR.: I'm okay.

Tina, focus.

Yep. Coming. Here I am.

Ugh, we lost him. Great.

There's the bandshell.

See ya soon, Shelly.
We're gonna rock so hard.

Lot of confidence here,

despite what some
robots may say.

TINA: What? Nothing.

Look, the golf cart.

And he's parked in
front of the funhouse

like a true criminal.

Well, what's he doing in there?

♪♪ A lovely bunch of
sailors dancing in a row ♪♪

I knew I looked good.

LOUISE: Get down.

FELIX: Beep-beep, ba-boop,
ba-beep. Thank you.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

(ALL PANTING)

FELIX: And...

Oh. Parked.

(HUMMING)

(GRUNTS)

LOUISE: The Molehill? Ugh.

I like the Molehill.

It's the ride they
recommend for grandparents

and people with heart problems.

I go on it with Dad.

BOTH: Whee.

What's happening in there?

Moles got him,
probably. Come on.

TINA: (GRUNTS) Stupid
kickstand. Wait up.

I don't hear anything.

Well, it says "do
not enter," so I...

Oh, you're going in.

What the...

Where the hell did he go?

Ooh, buttons.

You know what I like
to do with these?

Gene, no. Jeez, good thing
you didn't push that one.

Mm! Hello, lover. TINA:
No, no, no, no, no.

(BUTTON CLICKS)
(ALL SCREAMING)

GENE: Wow.

(SIGHS) I think we lost
them. I think we're good.

Sheesh, you knock
over one memorial.

Well, it was a nice
thing that they made

for their friend
who was m*rder*d.

And we were pretending
that we work here,

and I guess, taking
money from them.

And I look like a giant burger,

and you know, maybe
they're hungry.

CARNIE: There they are.
BOB: Oh, for Pete's sake.

TEDDY: Go, go, go, go, go.

BOB: Yep. LINDA:
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

I have an idea. You guys
go left at the corner.

I'll take the cart
and go straight ahead.

They'll follow the
cart. BOB: I don't think

that's gonna work. Good
idea, Teddy. Thank you.

TEDDY: Take care
of Linda for me.

Turn here, turn here.

BOB: Uh... All
right. (TEDDY YELLS)

(DOG CARNIE GRUNTS) Oh,
sorry, sorry, sorry.

Should we chase those guys?

DOG CARNIE: Yeah. Come
on, come on, come on.

BOB: Didn't work.

What is this place?

TINA: Did we go
through a time warp?

GENE: I bet we quantum leapt.

Where did Felix go?

Also, how do we get outta
here if he tries to k*ll...

Children? (KIDS GASP)

Ew, what are you doing here?
Did you hear me go pee-pee?

KIDS: Uh... CALVIN:
Children? Ew.

LOUISE: Mr. Fischoeder.

What are you doing in
our secret clubhouse?

What are you doing in
your secret clubhouse?

I thought you were in jail.

I posted bail. Jail bail.

Yep, had to. Those beds
were bad for my back.

How'd you get in here?

You were running around up there

pressing buttons, weren't you?

Of course, we were.
They're buttons.

You pressed the ouchies button?

Weren't you worried
about ouchies?

Eh. Okay, well,

you can leave now. Bye.

Calvin and I have some
business things to do.

Mm. You have
creepy face again.

This is why I think you
should grow a beard.

You know I can't!

Sorry, can you give us a
sec? We just need to hug.

We love each other. Gross.

(WHISPERS) Guys, we
gotta tell Mr. Fischoeder

that his brother framed him,

and then get him out of here

before Felix does
something bad to him.

TINA: This feels nice.

Yeah, we should do
this more often.

Okay, yeah, but save the
restaurant, remember?

Great hug. Now,
Mr. Fischoeder,

can we talk to you over here?

CALVIN: I don't hug.

GENE: Ooh, what's this
thing? LOUISE: Gene!

Oh, yes, my sweet old organ.

GENE: Your wiener?
(CALVIN SCATS)

CALVIN: That is the
Orchestramarama.

GENE: I love that.

Interesting. Can I,
uh... It is interesting.

This used to be part
of the old park.

(LOUISE GROANS) This place was

the Orchestramaramatorium.

And it was the launch point
for our underwater ride,

Poseidon's Sea-cret,
spelled S-E-A,

which I'm just now getting.

Oh, yeah. (GRUNTS SOFTLY)

You see, when our
father bought the pier,

he built Wonder Wharf
on top of the old park,

and he hid this room away.

Sealed it up under the Molehill.

(MUSIC CHIMING) And ha-cha.

GENE: Ooh. TINA: Whoa.

CALVIN: Mm, the
sea monsters win.

Those look like dolphins.

Well, dolphins were
considered monsters back then.

Mr. Fischoeder...
GENE: Quick question.

Yes, boy Bob child.
(LOUISE SIGHS)

Could our band borrow
this when we headline

at the Wonder Wharf
bandshell this summer?

I assume it's easy to move.

Follow-up question,
don't you think

that now that we're
borrowing this,

we should headline at the
bandshell this summer?

Ha! You're dreaming.

Johnny Jazz Hands
is the headliner.

Gene, stop getting distracted.

Ooh, wanna see our secret
mini-cars from the '50s

that we drive in our
secret under-pier?

GENE: Yes. LOUISE:
No, we don't.

Oh, goody.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay, so this is here.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Excellent for
storage under piers.

Old ride parts over there.

Carousel horses!

Shh, I'm doing this tour.

Carousel horses over there.

We can get ice cream
any time we want.

Hello. Bye.

The stuffed animal storage unit.

For when you need
a little snuggle.

Hmm, not as many in here
as I would have thought.

Maybe you're right, Felix.
Maybe they do come to life.

I told you.

This was our daycare
center-slash-bar.

Had to close it.

Yep, kids couldn't
handle their liquor.

Okay, now that we got
that out of our system...

Uh, Felix, is that a stain
on the back of your outfit?

Oh, God, no.

(GRUNTING)

Mr. Fischoeder, we have
to tell you something.

It's about Felix.

We think that he's... (THUD)

(YELLING)

(GRUNTS) CALVIN: Ah, Grover,

nice of you to
join us. (GROANING)

Will you ever not be awkward
when you come down that slide?

(GRUNTS) Someday. Heh.

I feel like I'm
getting better at it.

Mm, no. FELIX: No, you're not.

Mm, Orchestramarama
time. FELIX: Mm-hmm.

Oh! Kids. (CHUCKLES)

It's so great you
have kids here.

Hi, kids. Sinkhole kids.

Hey, uh, lawyer guy,

you got a second for
some quick legal advice?

Oh. (CHUCKLES) Sure you do.

We're just gonna chat
about a lawsuit I'm in.

Tina, you wanted
to talk to Felix

about something?
Mm-mm, no, I didn't.

No, no, no, no, you
should talk to him now.

Really? 'Cause I'd
love to not do that.

Tina, talk to Felix.
You'll be fine.

FELIX: Oh, like
you're such a treat.

TINA: Sorry, sorry.

Look, why don't I
give you my card

and you can... (GRUNTS)

(WHISPERING) Felix
k*lled Cotton Candy Dan.

He's framing his brother.

What? (SCOFFS)

No. No. (CHUCKLING)

Yes. We overheard him
planning to leave the country.

Well, that part's true.

They're both planning
to leave the country.

That's why they're here.
That's why I'm here.

They made me bring
them books on tape.

They're mostly
coloring books on tape.

I don't even know
how that works.

What the hell? They're
fleeing together?

That doesn't make any sense.

GENE: Shall I accompany you?

CALVIN: No, thank
you. Yes, thank you.

No, thank you. Yes, thank you.

No, thank you. (PLAYS ORGAN)

Ooh, I like that.
What did you just do?

Keep doing that.

(TINA DRONING)

Well, this is fun.

Oh, um, so,

have you heard... you...
from Fanny lately?

Yes, we're back together-ish.

That's good. Is she
less homicidal now?

Yes, much less homicidal.
Thanks for asking.

She's my little
Fanny Fanny boo-boo.

Aw, you really love her, huh?

More than I love how
I look in this outfit.

(ORGAN CONTINUES PLAYING)
(CALVIN CHEERING)

Hmm. But, what if how
you feel about her,

how you feel about love
doesn't ever match?

How it really
is? In real life?

Well, this got deep.

What if no one lives up
to anyone's expectations?

What if I'm just letting
a butt lead my heart

down a dead-end road?
(CALVIN CONTINUES CHEERING)

Boy, the energy over there
seems great, doesn't it?

Uh, stay in school.

♪♪ La-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪♪

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(GRUNTS) Darn it.

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS) Oh, my God.

CALVIN: Let's play
something jazzy, shall we?

GENE: Oh, yes, I love jazz.

Oh, is that gonna choke a fish?

Look, I don't know what
the deal is with Felix,

but you can't let them
leave the country.

Mr. Fischoeder's innocent.

But he said he's afraid
he can't b*at the charge.

That's why they're fleeing
to Cuba. In their submarine.

What are you two hush-hushing
about over there?

Yeah. We can whisper too.

(MIMICS WHISPERING)

See? It's hurtful.

We're talking about
your "submarine"

which as your attorney
and your cousin,

I advise you not to use.

That thing works?

And goes places?

Uh, yeah. Jealous?
We tricked her out.

We knew we'd eventually
have to flee the country

for one reason or another.

We're naughty little Nellies.

This baby can even
play books on tape.

Grover, you bring the stuff?

Yes. CALVIN: Oh, good.

GENE: Yay. It's all
online, you know.

How to convert a 1920s
era submarine-themed ride

into an almost-real submarine.

Some videos are
better than others.

Avoid Sub Dude's, but
overall pretty simple.

We shove off in an hour or so.

We're just waiting for the tide.

That's something
submarine people say.

And some of us will
also be able to have

one last land poo.

That's another
submarine term, I think.

Yep, we'll be refueling
in a secret cove

near Myrtle Beach by midnight.

And picking up someone's
on-again off-again girlfriend.

Ugh. Oh, shush, she's great.

Okay, I forbid this.

You are going to
stay in this country,

face trial, prove
your innocence,

and continue to be our landlord

so we don't lose our restaurant.

Great speech,
Louise. Thank you.

Yes. You're welcome.

If you do decide to stay,
we should start talking

about your legal
strategy. Boring.

And your arraignment.
Boring-er.

Grover, let me put
this on your head,

so we don't have to hear you

talking, talking, talking.
No, no, no, no, no.

FELIX: Yay, I did it.

I put a helmet on our
lawyer. Oh, my God.

You oughta be on an ottoman.

LOUISE: (SIGHS) Oh, my
God. (CALVIN SCATTING)

(MUFFLED) No. Don't.
Stop. Don't hit my...

Okay, nobody wants
to solve this crime,

and everyone is awful.

Oh, let's play that game

where we spin you around
till you fall over.

GROVER: No, no, I
don't like that game.

(SCOFFS) Pictures
of silly rich people

who just go to Cuba whenever
they get charged with m*rder.

(CALVIN WHOOPING)
(GROVER WHIMPERS)

GROVER: Stop it! (GRUNTING)

LOUISE: Nobody will
help us. Nobody cares.

And the real m*rder*r

will just keep living
their life and...

Huh?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

What the...

Grover?

GROVER: Don't like this.

No, I don't want... (GRUNTS)

(LOUISE GASPS)

LOUISE: That shape.

GROVER: Take this
thing off me.

Holy crap.

GROVER: Stop it! LOUISE:
(WHISPERING) Psst!

Tina. Psst! TINA:
(WHISPERING) What?

(GRUNTING MEANINGFULLY)

(WHISPERING) Grover. Pow-pow.

(GASPS) Oh.

I figured it out.

I figured it out.
(GRUNTS TRIUMPHANTLY)

You guys seem very
excited about something.

Is it my sweet jam? No.

(LOUISE FALTERS)
(GROVER PANTING)

GROVER: What?

Why are you looking at me
like that? Like I farted?

They're the ones being jerky.

Oh, no reason. I forget.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

What are you holding?
LOUISE: Nothing.

Um, candy.

(GULPS) Mmm. So good.

(GAGS) Now you're gagging.

(GAGS) No. Mm-mm.

(GAGS) Let me see.

He really wants some candy.

GROVER: Spit it.

GROVER: What the...

Is that a tooth?

It's so weird looking and...

(GASPS)

That's, uh, candy
for you these days.

Looks like weird old teeth.

GROVER: I see. And you
enjoy that, do you?

Yeah, well, it does the trick.

Whoa, you're pointing
a spear g*n at us.

Yeah, right. Whoa.

Nobody move.

Nobody move.

They went this way. They
must be close, right?

Do you see 'em?

DOG CARNIE: I can't
really see anything.

(WHISPERS) Bob, are
those the kids' bikes?

BOB: What the...

And that's
Mr. Fischoeder's golf cart.

What is going on?

I don't know. Uh-oh, uh-oh.

Oh, no, I'm slipping.

Oh, my... Now I'm
slipping, too.

Sorry.

What's that sound?

Oh, God. Hold on.

How? Kegels.

Huh. Well, now
I don't hear it.

Come on. Let's go to the front
gate, and try to cut 'em off.

DOG CARNIE: Okay.

CARNIE: No, Fitz. This way.

(BOTH GRUNT) BOB: Oh, God.

(BOB GROANING)

(GASPS) Didn't hurt.

Come on, let's go find the kids.

Okay, yeah, you know
what I'm gonna do?

I'm just gonna get all
your phones. Come on.

TINA: We don't have phones.

And it hasn't been an
issue socially at all.

Oh, really? A teen
girl without a phone?

That's what I keep saying.

It's just harder to justify
every year. I mean, just...

Yeah, we don't need to
get into it. Bye, phones.

So, you were looking
at the picture,

and you saw my banana cufflink,

which I bought for myself
when I graduated law school

'cause no one else
got me a present.

Oh, boo-hoo. You
went to law school?

I knew he bit me,

but I didn't know he
swallowed the damn thing.

And you have that weird
tooth for some reason,

and it matches my scar,

and now everyone thinks

I m*rder*d him
just 'cause I did.

Unbelievable. You k*lled
Cotton Candy Andy?

TINA: Dan. Cotton
Candy Andy Dan?

It's just... Never
mind. You framed me?

You're a terrible family lawyer.

And a selfish lover, I bet.

Well, we should
probably hit the road.

No, we're all gonna
stay right here

where no one's gonna
come looking for you.

(BOB AND LINDA SCREAMING)

Oh, my face!

Ha! Now you're in trouble.
Our mom and dad are here.

Oh, my babies. Oh, my
babies. (KISSING NOISILY)

I'm glad you're here.

I mean, I wish you had
more police with you.

But, uh, yeah, also
you look good, Mom.

Thank you, Tina.

You better not have
stretched my burger suit.

But the bikini can stay.

I don't know why we didn't put
that on in the first place.

Sorry we skipped school.

You skipped school?

No.

Why'd you do that?

We were saving the restaurant
and solving a m*rder.

Solving a m*rder is no
reason to leave school.

Okay, Department of Education.

Shush, shush, shush!
I'm so annoyed.

How did you find us? How
did you even get in here?

We saw the kids'
bikes. Ugh, bikes!

And their bikes
were by some stairs.

So, we went up,

and we went into the
little electrical place.

Yay, buttons. Linda, no.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Yeah, Mom.

No, no cheering. Sorry.

♪♪ Diarrhea's comin' back

(MIDTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
♪♪ My family's under att*ck

♪♪ It's not so
great, I do agree

♪♪ I've also got a bad wedgie

♪♪ Thought I could
prove I'm not a baby

♪♪ But now all
of us need saving

♪♪ Dropped my hopes
into the ocean

♪♪ Sorry if a fish is chokin'

♪♪ Sure, a lot is happening

♪♪ But I wish I
brought my napkin thing

♪♪ It might have
helped to calm us down

Everybody, hush.
Don't make a sound.

But why are you doing all this?

Okay, good question.
I'll allow it.

(SINGING IN FALSETTO) ♪♪
Look, I'm not that evil, no

♪♪ I'm not a bad person

♪♪ So, I k*lled one carnie

♪♪ Well, it's just
'cause I'm determined

♪♪ To finally get what I
think that I'm deservin'

♪♪ And to turn it
into something worthy

♪♪ Trust me, I'm
sure you will agree

♪♪ Would you like to
hear my master plan?

♪♪ Okay, can you answer
faster 'Cause I asked you

♪♪ Would you like to
hear my master plan?

Um, yes.

♪♪ Okay, that's more like it

♪♪ I'm so glad that you asked ♪♪

You see, I'm in the
Fischoeder Family Trust,

because I'm in the family.

Well, barely.

He's from the bad
part of the family.

He means the poor part.

They're bad because
they're poor.

Shut it. Shut your front door.

Okay, okay. OTHERS: Yeah.

I said okay.

So, in this family
trust, you see,

you're ineligible
to receive benefits

if you've been
convicted of a felony.

And every single one
of them has been.

All except for cousin Calvin,
because he never got caught.

Yeah, baby. GROVER: Shush!

So, I frame him, and boom.

Now, if something
unfortunate happens

to Calvin and Felix,

whom will they suspect?

Not me, no, no,
no. Why would they?

Something unfortunate is
going to happen to us?

Uh, yes. Surprise.

Oh, poo. Wait, both of us?

Yeah, sorry. You
were so insistent

about going with your
brother to Cuba...

I bought an outfit.
Yes, we know.

But let's just
say your submarine

isn't going to go to Cuba.

Oh. Cancun?

It won't make it out
from under the pier.

Oh, my. Oh, dear.

Did you think that sub
was gonna make it to Cuba?

Hmm, I think we
might have gotten

a little too excited
about the sub idea.

I mean, isn't it
just an old ride?

Yes, it runs on tokens.

But not the best
frame job, right?

I mean, why bury
Cotton Candy Dan

in front of our restaurant
and then wait six years?

BELCHERS: Huh. TINA: Right.

I didn't bury him in
front of your restaurant.

And I didn't wanna
wait six years.

(DRAMATICALLY) Six years.

Easy. Easy.

Maybe we should hold
off on the questions.

I had it all worked
out. A top-rate m*rder.

I sh**t Mr. Carnie
with Calvin's g*n.

I stick him in a pile of dirt,

or whatever yucky stuff

was near the entrance
to the wharf.

I leave the stupid
foot sticking out,

so someone would
be sure to see it.

But little did I know

that some numbskull
backhoe operator

working for the city was
gonna scoop up that pile

without even checking
for dead carnies.

I come back, I've got no body.

I didn't know where
they'd brought the dirt.

And it's not like I
could go around asking,

"Hey, what's the word? Did
anyone find any dead guys?

"This tall? Kind of a biter?"

It was a nightmare.

But thankfully, blessedly,

your stupid pipe burst
and saved the day.

The skeleton was found,
frame job back on,

and it's true what they say,

good things happen
to good people.

Wait a second.

Is this all about your
silly mega-park idea?

Yes. CALVIN: Mm-hmm.

♪♪ This is about my mega-park

♪♪ My much more
efficient and profitable

♪♪ Than your stupid
pier mega-park

♪♪ It'll have gift shops Oh.

♪♪ So many giftshops
I love giftshops.

♪♪ And so much
parking BOB: Lin!

♪♪ And I'll get
the best marketers

♪♪ To do the best marketing

♪♪ And indoor motion
simulator rides

♪♪ If you could
see my scale models

♪♪ Then you'd understand
why Cotton Candy Dan

♪♪ Had to die

It's gonna be so
worth it. Okay.

Because business dreams
are about business.

They're not about dreams.

That's not true.
All right then.

♪♪ I think I got it figured out

♪♪ I think that
this is what I need

♪♪ You're gonna
all get in the sub

♪♪ And then I'll
launch you in the sea

♪♪ No, no, I don't
think that's right

No, that's right.

♪♪ You won't be able to get out

♪♪ The handle's
broken from inside

♪♪ Then the pier will
be on fire ALL: What?

♪♪ Well, you caused
it, then you d*ed

(HARMONIZING) ♪♪ Oh,
that's so careless of us ♪♪

Yeah, what they'll say is this.

♪♪ Metal wheels on metal tracks

♪♪ Will cause a
spark, a little flare

♪♪ Whoops, the drapes,
they catch on fire

♪♪ And it just gets
worse from there

♪♪ Up it goes into the Molehill

♪♪ Which now seems
to be quite full

♪♪ Of cute and
fluffy, very burny

♪♪ Flammable stuffed animals

So, they don't come
to life? I guess not.

And then the Molehill
turns into Mole Hell.

That's what we call Dad's back.

We do? ♪♪ Oh, oh-oh

♪♪ I have so many
problems with this plan

Like what? People on the pier?

Gone. I'm closing
early. What else?

You would burn in the fire, too?

Nope. I made a fuse
out of cooking oil,

sugar and balloon string.

All things you'd find
in an amusement pier.

It's gonna go up the stairs,

over the roof of
this stupid room.

♪♪ And arson investigators
will never suspect a thing

My fuse and my brilliant
flammable stuffed animals idea

gives me just enough time
to get back to the gym,

which is my alibi.

♪♪ I went there
just an hour ago

♪♪ I said the steam
room was too steamy

♪♪ I made a pretty
damn big show

♪♪ Then I slipped out the window
And that's how I got here now

♪♪ I just sneak back
in through the window

♪♪ And boom

♪♪ I've been at
the gym three hours

I don't know if you have
three hour gym body. Sorry.

Yeah, it's not believable.

No, you're too pasty.
(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

Also, your mega-park is
mega-dumb. And so are you.

(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

(SIGHS) I want to amend
my earlier statement.

Here we go. I'm not that evil.

♪♪ But I'm feeling evil today ♪♪

(MUSIC ENDS IN FLOURISH)

CARNIE: Closing
the park early.

Always feels weird, huh?

FITZ: Yeah, we never
found those burger people.

Well, chasing them's
the fun part, isn't it?

Hey, you wearing
that thing home?

FITZ: Yeah, you know,
I have a date later.

Oh, good for you.

(SIGHS) That was
close. That was close.

Glad we got you out
of there, little cart.

But boy, oh, boy, did you
do good selling burgers!

I wouldn't be surprised
if Bob and Linda

use you every day from now on.

Oh, no. No, no.

(SAD MUSIC PLAYING) Oh! Oh!

Okay. Okay.

(SNIFFLING)

That's okay.

You rest now.

You did good.

You're a brave little cart.

(SOBBING) You're a
brave little cart.

Get outta here.

Not now, little King Trashmouth.

Get outta here.

(SOBBING) Oh, God. Oh, God.

(MUSIC STOPS) Oh.
What time is it?

The hockey game's on.

It's playoffs.

I might go over to Pesto's

and watch a little bit until
Bob and Linda get back.

The cart would want me
to keep on living, right?

Yeah, yeah, you're nodding,
right? You're nodding, yeah.

(WHISPERS) That's my drink.
He's drinking my drink.

BOB: Shh. You "shh."

Ugh. Don't like that.

Okay, in the sub.
Fischoeders first.

And don't make this a thing.
It's been a stressful day.

Come on. No.

In you go. Mm-mm.
(FELIX GROANS)

Grover, I just want you to know

that one time when you
were up at the house,

Felix and I sat on your
sandwich. Bare-bottomed.

And then we served it to
you, and you ate it all.

Ugh. I knew it.

I tasted baby powder
and I thought to myself,

how would baby powder
get on a sandwich?

And I was like,
did they get salt

and baby powder mixed up?

But then I was like,

no, you know exactly
what happened.

They sat on your
sandwich... (WHISPERS) What?

Because that's just...
CALVIN: Mm. Mm.

GROVER: the kind of thing
they think is funny.

They powder their bums
like they're from the 1800s

and they pulled down
their little pants

and they sat on your sandwich...

(WHISPERS) I can't.

GROVER: and I hate them.

They're immature
idiots and I hate them.

What the...

Go, burger people. Go!

Go, go, go. Get help.

(PANTING) Damn it.

(GRUNTS)

I hate this stupid
secret clubhouse.

(BOTH GIGGLING)

Ow. Where are we?

LOUISE: Get in the clam.

Uh, okay.

Okay, okay. (GROVER PANTING)

Dad, Dad, Dad.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Go, Bob.

LOUISE: He's coming.
BOB: No, I know.

Oh, boy. Yep.

(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

(WHIMPERS) Where the
hell are we going?

I don't know, Bob. Just get
us away from that lawyer.

BOB: How do we get out of
this place? It's a maze.

Is there, like, an
exit sign somewhere?

Ahh! Oh, funhouse
mirror. Ha-ha.

(ALL SCREAMING)

LINDA: Oh, Bobby. Go, go, go.

GENE: Uh, yeah, I
don't wanna pile on,

but go, Dad.
Please, very much.

BOB: Does anyone
wanna talk about

that I'm actually
doing really well,

considering that I've never
driven down here before

in this weird under-pier,
whatever this is?

LOUISE: Ugh. Okay, you're
doing really, really well.

LINDA: Everyone
compliment your father.

GENE: Um, I think you're
handsome for your age,

which is what, 65... (GRUNTS)

BOB: Oh, my God!
He's ramming us!

(GROVER GRUNTS) LINDA:
Hey, cut it out!

(YELLS)

(GASPS)

(ALL GASP)

ALL: Ahh!

(GRUNTS) (ALL WHIMPERING)

TINA: No, no, no.

No, no, no. Why? Why?

(ALL GRUNTING)

LINDA: Did we lose
him? Did we lose him?

TINA: I don't
know. Maybe. Kinda.

BOB: (GRUNTING) I
think we lost him.

TINA: Yay, Dad.

Yeah, but I'm just gonna say it,

this is one of our
worst road trips.

Eh... I mean, it's up there.

(ALL SCREAMING)

Oh, Bob, what if you
bust through there,

and we jump down onto the beach?

LOUISE: What?
GENE: Great idea.

I see no problems.
Oh, God. Okay.

I hate this. I hate this.
I hate this. I hate this.

I hate this. I hate this.
I hate this. I hate this.

Oh, crap. Oh, God! Hold on!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL GRUNTING)

Oh, that was terrible.
Oh, I didn't like that.

We really lost him
this time, right?

(GRUNTING)

(SHRIEKS) He jumped too.

Man, that was our thing.

Drive, Dad, drive.

I'm going as fast as I can go.

TINA: Would it be faster
to get out and walk?

Bob, take the
ramp. Uh-huh. Yep.

(CAR GROANS)

No, no, no, no.

(AIR HISSES) Ha-ha!

LINDA: What was
that? What happened?

BOB: Uh, I think he
sh*t out our tire.

LINDA: Do we have a spare?

KIDS: What? I don't know.

Well, he only had one
arrow. That's good, right?

Yeah, but maybe we
keep driving anyway,

if we can.

If you call this driving.

BOB: Sorry, signs.

TINA: Hey, this is our street.

Is he back there? Kids?

I can't tell. Everyone,
be less moist.

BOB: There's our giant hole.
That's how we know we're home.

Uh, all right. If
he's not back there,

maybe we jump out, go
inside, and call the police.

I just got
comfortable, but okay.

Oh, come on, it's
stuck? Oh, no.

It must've got crunched when
we jumped on to the beach.

All right. I'm hoping
one of these is reverse.

It'll be the one that
makes us go backwards.

Thanks. (THUD)

BOB: Oh, God. (CRASHING)

It's him. The brakes,
Bob, the brakes.

I'm stepping on the brakes.

LINDA: He's gonna
push us into the hole.

GENE: Crime hole.
BOB AND LINDA: Gene.

BOB: Oh, God. Kids, hold on.

Oh, no, no, no.

(ALL SCREAMING)

BOB: Everybody okay?

ALL: Yeah.

Someone must have seen that.

ANNOUNCER: (ON TV)
He sh**t, he scores.

Yay! Oh, whoops.

(GROVER HUMMING)

(CONTINUES HUMMING)

Oh, no. What's happening?

He's burying us.
(TINA GASPING)

We gotta get out
of here right now.

(GRUNTING) Open! Open!
Open! Open! Open!

Come on, clam,
let us out of you!

Okay, I'm gonna try and
break the windshield.

Everybody, move back.

How are we supposed
to move back?

I don't know. (GRUNTING)

Okay, now pound for real.

I am pounding for real.

It won't break.
It's thick glass.

I'm gonna try and use my legs.

(GRUNTS) I can't
get my legs up.

(BOB AND LINDA GRUNTING)

It's fine. You're
just a bulldozer.

A lobster bulldozer pushing
some dirt into a hole.

Not onto a family.
No, far from it.

Just fixing the street like
a helpful little lobster.

Oh, my God. We're
being buried alive

in a hole in front
of our restaurant.

This is my nightmare.
We're living my nightmare.

Phones. We can use our
phones. Where are they?

Grover took our phones.
(HYPERVENTILATES)

Holy crap. Oh, God. (HUFFS)

Kids, hold my hands.

Where are your hands?
Where are your hands?

And put that memory in a
place you don't think about.

Now, let's get
back to the wharf,

launch my cousins into the sea,

and we're back on track, baby.

(BOB AND LINDA GRUNTING)

BOB: Okay, I gotta think.
I don't wanna breathe

all of our oxygen. LINDA: Oh!

BOB: Yeah, not
to scare anybody,

but, um, don't breathe too much.

LINDA: I'm gonna
stop breathing.

You kids breathe my
air. (INHALES DEEPLY)

BOB: No, Lin, just...
LINDA: (EXHALES) Oh, God.

That's hard. How
long was that?

LOUISE: Like, five minutes.

TINA: I think I could breathe
less if it wasn't so dark.

GENE: I have something that
will make people breathe less.

ALL: Oh, Gene. I'm
sorry, it's a fear fart.

LOUISE: Oh! I have my
Kuchi Kopi night light.

ALL: Ah! No.

Ah. No.

Ugh! Stay on, Kuchi.
It's your one job!

GENE: This is like
the worst rave.

(GROVER HUMMING)

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Bye.

Well, he's officially my
least favorite cousin.

What about Baxter? He's dead.

Yeah, but he's still the worst.

That's true.

Okey dokey. Submarine
launch, check.

All right. Fuse.

So glad I made a
to-do list. (SNORTS)

Damn it.

Oh, good.

Oh, my God.

(HUMMING)

Yep. (SCATTING)

♪♪ I'm doin' it

♪♪ I'm doin' it
I'm doin' it ♪♪

(BOB GRUNTING)

BOB: I can't break it.

LOUISE: This is all my fault.

Well, don't everybody
speak at once.

LINDA: No, honey, it's
not your fault. That much.

LOUISE: It is though.

I wanted to track
down the k*ller

and save the restaurant
and prove... (SIGHS)

prove I wasn't a baby.

Oh! Now you come on.

Oh, my baby. I mean, sorry.

No, stupid Chloe Barbash
was right. I am a baby.

I was too scared
to go in the hole,

I was too scared to open
the secret nipple door.

Tina had to do it for me,

and I wear these frickin' ears.

I mean, if you're brave,

you don't have to
prove you're brave.

You just are brave.

BOB: What? Louise,
you're brave.

You're one of the
bravest people I know.

LOUISE: It's not true.

Also, you don't know
that many people.

BOB: Hmm.

LOUISE: I've never been
brave. Come on, the ears?

The only reason I got
these in the first place

was because I was scared.

BOB: What? LINDA:
What do you mean?

LOUISE: You know.
You gave them to me

'cause I was scared about
the first day of preschool.

That's not how it happened.

I mean, you were nervous,

and we had this idea
to make you the hat.

Your mother made it.

It's sort of in honor of my mom,

your grandmother.

She used to wear this
brightly-colored winter hat.

Even in warm weather.
It was a little weird.

But it was kinda cute, I guess.

She always said it was

'cause she didn't feel
like doing her hair.

I think she just liked it.

And I had extra material,
so, uh, rabbit ears.

But I made them after your
first day at preschool.

To celebrate. Because
you were so brave.

LOUISE: Really? I was?
BOB AND LINDA: Yeah.

BOB: Do you not
remember it that way?

LOUISE: No.

BOB: Yeah, you
didn't need them.

LINDA: You were plenty
brave, with no hat at all.

We were so proud of you.

You slapped a kid.
LOUISE: I did?

LINDA: Yeah. Probably for
a good reason, let's say.

BOB: You remind me
of my mom, Louise.

And with the hat,

it's kinda like
you two have met.

I keep forgetting
that you never did.

GENE: I wore that bucket
on my head for a while.

Any fun stories about that?

BOB: No, I don't remember
any. We were concerned.

LOUISE: Well, thanks.

For the hat and stuff.

BOB: Yep. Glad we
could clear that up,

since we're dying. (ALL GROAN)

I mean, since we're
just hanging out,

alive, under the ground.

I'm gonna push on the
window with my head.

(THUD) Ow! (GRUNTING)

This is not working.

LINDA: That's it
then. We're goners.

BOB: Wait, no,
don't you give up.

LINDA: I'm tired, Bob.

BOB: No, you never give up.

I give up. And then you
say, "don't give up."

And I say, "okay,"

and then we do
that over and over,

and now that I'm
saying it out loud,

that can't be fun for you.

Oh, God, do you want a
divorce before we die?

I don't deserve you.

LINDA: Nah, I
can stick it out.

BOB: Listen to me, I'm gonna
do for you what you do for me.

I am not giving up. We
are gonna get outta here.

I am gonna Linda this.

ALL: Whoa! Dad,
are you Fonzie?

Yeah, you made the
little koko puffs go on.

BOB AND LOUISE: Kuchi Kopi.

Koochi Koochi? No.

Well, the light's helpful,

because we are gonna
get out of here.

How?

In a really cool way
that's gonna come to us.

I mean, we're in a car, kind of.

What if we drive?

Where? Down?

Like, to China?

I like it. I like it.

Not to China.

But no bad ideas. I mean...

Oh. Down.

What if we do drive
down? LINDA: What?

We're on top of the water main.

The new section of pipe is
plastic. We lost a tire.

Maybe metal grinding
against plastic. Metal wins?

Grinding like sexy dancing?

What's that?
Never mind. Go on.

So the wheel breaks the pipe,

and the water gets
us out somehow?

Or it could do the
other thing water does.

Hot Tub Time Machine?

No. Drown us.

Oh, well, I never
saw the movie, so...

(SIGHS) I think this
is our only chance.

I'm turning it on.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Oh, Bobby, kids,

I want you all to know
how much I love you.

I love you too, Mom.

I love all you mama-jamas.

I love all of you, too.

We don't have to, like,
do any kind of order,

why even bring that up?

Okay, I'm worried
the "I love yous"

are the kind of thing you
say when we're gonna die,

and we are not gonna die!

(ACCELERATING)

Bob! Linda! Are you up there?

Oh, looks like they started
filling in your hole.

Not well, at all.

Jeesh, they just kind of
shoved some dirt in there...

(YELPS) What the...

(ALL GRUNT, LAUGH)

BOB: It worked. TINA: Yes.

Oh, my sweet babies.

So glad we're not dead.

I'm happy. I'm thrilled.

You guys, the Fischoeders,
in the submarine,

with the wharf falling on them.

What do we do? What do we do?

(GRUNTS) It's still
stuck. (ALL GRUNTING)

(KNOCK ON WINDOW)
ALL: (MUFFLED) Teddy!

Teddy, help us outta here.

(MUFFLED) The
thing won't open.

Did you guys get a new car?

I've never seen this before.

(MUFFLED) Have I
seen this before?

Teddy, we need you to help us
open this. The thing is stuck.

This thing is stuck.
(MUFFLED) It's stuck.

(MUFFLED) Argh!
I can't open it.

What'd he say? I do not know.

So, bad news, the
burger cart fell apart.

It was just too
beautiful for this world.

(INDISTINCT, MUFFLED SPEAKING)

Nothing. No idea
what he's saying.

Oh!

LOUISE: Well, Teddy left.

(PANTING)

Long story. I'll
tell you later.

(GROVER GRUNTS, PANTS)

(BOB GRUNTING)

(YELLING) Olive bar!

(GRUNTING)

What did he say? Olive bar.

Yah!

BOB: Yes. LOUISE: Yes.

GENE: Wham-bam, goodbye, clam.

Thank you, Teddy.

Olive bar! Yeah,
yeah. No, I know.

Dad, you have a pee spot.

That's not a pee
spot. It's from water.

See? All the water?
But thanks, Tina.

It's right where a
pee spot would be.

And no other parts are wet.

Um, okay. So, Teddy,
call the police.

Kids, stay here.

Uh, Linda, stay with the kids.

I'm gonna run down to the wharf,

and try and help the
Fischoeders not get k*lled.

Um, good plan.

(PANTING)

Wait, why are you following me?

We're not. Okay, but you are.

No, we're not. Bye, Bob.

Yeah, and maybe mind
your own business, Dad?

Hello? Is this the police?

I'd like to report a
thing. A thing happened.

You need more than
that? Hold on.

My good friend, Linda's
gonna talk to you.

She's married to my
best friend. Hello?

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Climbing through the window.

Hmm? Hmm? Oh.

Come on, someone
moved the thing?

(SIGHS) I do have
three-hour gym body.

(GRUNTS, YELPS) (THUD)

TEDDY: Grover Fischoeder wants
to destroy the whole pier?

LOUISE: Yeah, to
build a mega-park.

LINDA: With gift shops.
TEDDY: Oh, gift shops.

LINDA: I know, but
not worth it, right?

TEDDY: Yeah, no.
Right, right, right.

BOB: Where's the fuse?
Where's the fuse?

Where's the fuse? There!

BOB: Oh, my God. All right.

Give me your night
light for a sec.

I'm gonna see if
I can climb down.

I didn't even know I
was still holding it.

I guess I need a night light
everywhere I go. That's great.

Louise. It's fine, it's fine.

Don't mess him up. Oh.

LINDA: That is terrifying.

Yeah, you'd think it
would be comforting.

Everybody, please
get out of here.

LINDA: Bob, don't do it.

I don't want you
to catch on fire.

I don't think you'd like it.

Just get away from the wharf.

Don't worry. I'll be
fine. I can make it.

Okay, you're too
positive right now.

Maybe take it down a notch?

Big jump!

(GRUNTS) Ow.

Look at him go.
I mean, kind of.

He's not used to
this much physical...

Um, Dad, go faster.

GENE: Do you need your
workout mix? If you had one?

(GRUNTS) No, I'm
good. Thank you.

(WHIRRING) Dad! Dad,
get off the track.

I'm gonna ride the ride down.

Louise!

Not the best time
for going on rides.

Louise, no. It's
too dangerous.

LOUISE: Dad, you're not
gonna make it in time.

But the track goes
right past the fuse.

I'm gonna grab it when I go by.

No, I'm gonna make it.

I'm starting to get
good at this. Oh!

Oh, boy. Oh.

Oh, my God.

Come on, Mole.
Don't be so slow.

Still faster than you,
Dad, though. No offense.

Yeah, but there's a
wicked turn coming up.

There it is.

Oh, Louise, be careful.

Don't get decapitated
and then b*rned up.

I won't. Whoa!

Dad, you look like

you're about to climb
right in front of me?

Nope, I'm gonna leap
across really quickly.

(GRUNTS) Oh, God.
Not that quickly.

Get off the track!

(BOB GRUNTS)

BOB: Oh, it's getting
close to the animals.

Okay, got it.

If you miss, we won't
have a second chance.

I know. Very helpful
info. Thank you.

BOB: You might have been right
about your way being faster.

I mean, just a lot of beams.

This place is
over-engineered, I think.

I'm excited to talk about
this with you later.

Come on, little arms.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(STRAINING)

(YELPS)

(GASPS)

Oh, no. Oh, God.

(GRUNTING)

(GASPS) Did you get it?

Or are we all dead?

(GRUNTS)

Yes. ALL: Yeah!

I did it? I did it!
(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)

I'm brave! I'm brave!

LINDA: You sure are, honey.

I am brave!

And super humble!

Hey, Dad! Good work
to both of you.

(PANTING) Thank
you. Thank you.

I'm gonna miss that
pier. And being alive.

And you, my friend. Aw.

Got ya. Ow!

You owe me a thousand dollars.

Let's play for two. Switch.

I'm gonna miss you too, pal.

I've always looked
up to... Got ya.

Poop it. (GRUNTS)

Play for three? Got ya. Ow!

I hope you suffocate first.

(THUD) That's interesting.

I wonder if that's a giant
squid trying to mate withus.

Well, it could do a lot worse.

BOTH: ♪♪ We're gonna
live, la, la, la

♪♪ We're gonna live, la, la, la

♪♪ We're gonna live, la, la,
la (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

♪♪ We're gonna
live, la, la, la ♪♪

LINDA: Aw, they're singing.

Ooh, uh, Teddy, can I borrow
your phone real quick?

Uh, here. Yeah, sure.

(GASPS) Are you
ordering takeout?

Can we get traditional
Thai street food

from that new place?

No, I'm not ordering
takeout. Sorry.

Oh, boo.

Yeah, a lot of people
think of Robbery

as kind of the coolest
division, you know?

Where the cool cops
work. (CELL PHONE RINGS)

I don't know if that's true.

But, uh, you know, lot
of people think it.

Hello.

Bye, front desk person.

You were here when I came in
three hours ago, weren't you?

I remember your, uh,
shirt. (CHUCKLES)

You probably remember me
too, right? This face?

You're not looking
up. There you go.

You remember this ugly mug,
right? You have earbuds in.

Did you hear anything
I said? Oh, you did.

Good. Anyway, this
is Grover Fischoeder

saying good night.

(SIRENS WAIL)

Hi, there. First on
the scene. No biggie.

I b*at you. And you.

I b*at you too.

(WHISPERS) Crap.

(FITZ GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY)

(PASSENGERS LAUGHING
AND SCREAMING)

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

How're you feeling,
buddy? You nervous?

Oh, no. It just
feels like my insides

are fighting to get
out of my bottom hole.

Hey, listen, you're
gonna be great.

Uh-huh. Or we're gonna be
bad and insides out on stage.

You know, I heard you guys
practicing in the basement

when I was cleaning
up last night.

You did? Yeah.

And you sounded great.
Parts were great.

And your music, it
makes you happy,

right? Yeah.

Well, it's gonna make
other people happy, too.

So maybe you should be
un-stop-timistic about it.

Mom says that. Yeah.

So, you're stealing.
I say it now, too.

Also, she's helping
Tina with her wig,

so I have to try and
say what she would say.

Take her material.

Yes. Come here.

(GRUNTS) Thanks, Dad!

Just have fun up there.

That's such a shorter pep talk.

♪♪ Let me hear you say...

(RATTLING) ♪♪ Let
me hear you say...

(LOUISE TRILLS) ♪♪ Yeah

♪♪ Twist it, twirl
it, cook it, bake it

♪♪ Do your thing

♪♪ You say...
(LOUISE TRILLING)

(KIDS SCATTING)

♪♪ Yeah, shake those
little burger buns

♪♪ Okay. Got it! ♪♪ Good! ♪♪

Here is a check for all
the money we owe you.

For this month. BOB:
Yeah, for this month.

Thanks to our very
grateful landlord.

I still think he's
not grateful enough.

That's true. He could
be even more grateful.

But still, signing it.
This doesn't look right.

Is that my signature?
Uh, let's just say yes.

So there, we did it,
Mr. Bank. (GRUNTS)

Please don't call me Mr. Bank.

Sorry. People aren't usually

so cocky when they make their
very late loan payments.

Well, get used to it.

One more. (GRUNTS) Ow.

(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

Hey, Tina.

Oh, hey, Jimmy Jr. Happy
last day of school.

Thanks. You too.

So, I was doing parkour
down on the beach with Zeke,

we're really good at parkouring,

or I'm really good
at parkouring.

Anyway, I found this.

(GASPS) It made
me think of you.

Maybe because you have
the same kind of barrette.

Do you want it? It
smells like seaweed.

Jimmy Jr.? Yeah?

There's something I
wanted to ask you.

Something summer
boyfriend-related.

But then I thought maybe
it was a stupid question

for anyone to ask anyone ever.

(ZEKE GRUNTS) And my
heart was an idiot...

Oh. ZEKE: Rolling, rolling.

I'm doing parkour off the
locker, Jay-Ju. You see me?

It looked a little
awkward, Zeke.

I'm working on it! Yow-za!

(LAUGHS) You fell
off the wall.

Yeah, what am I looking at here?

ZEKE: Parkour!

Uh, what were you saying?

Oh, I was saying, I thought
my heart was an idiot.

But then you found
my barrette-clace.

And now it kinda makes me think

maybe there's only no
romance in the world

if you believe there's
no romance in the world.

And who wants to believe that?

Uh...

Now, I don't know
why I got so hung up

on the question I
was gonna ask anyway.

Mostly, I just
really wanna do this.

(BOTH MOANING)

Whoa. Yeah.

(BAND CONTINUES
PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

CHLOE: You're not gonna do it.

LOUISE: I'm gonna do it.

You think because you,
like, saved the wharf

or something, you're
all brave now?

Yeah. On three.

One, two, three.

(ALL GASP) Your hat fell off.

LOUISE: Hmm? Oh, yeah.

Louise, reminding you that
you have detention today

because you skipped school.

Oh, my God, your ears fell off!

Okay. It's okay. What
do we do? What do we do?

It's fine. It's
not a big deal.

Emergency counsel session?

I can get puppets here so fast.

Ms. Labonz, will
you go to my office

and get Security Blanket Hank

and, oh, just
get them all. No.

Mr. Frond, I'm good.

Oh, really? MS.
LaBONZ: She's good.

Okay. I'm so proud of
you. LOUISE: Don't say

"you're so proud of me." Yep.

Is everybody ready
to do this again?

LINDA: Yeah. GENE:
Sure, Father.

LOUISE: I mean, it seems
like you're making us.

Teddy did a good job.

Kind of. Right?

LINDA: Aw, banner.
I love banners.

GENE: Are we dead
set on "Burgers"?

I mean, is it too
late to change that?

TINA: Oh, yeah.
We could do wraps.

LOUISE: Or soup.

BOB: Mm. LINDA: Mm, soup.

GENE: Bob's Soup and Wraps
has a certain sound to it.

BOB: Oh, my God.
Everyone, back inside,

back inside. Never mind.

KIDS: Thank you, Wonder Wharf!

(CHEERING) GENE:
What a journey!

(CHEERING) Yeah! All right!

Finally. Now, we can bring
out Johnny Jazz Hands.

Oh, goody.

(UPBEAT SOUL SONG PLAYING)

(GRUNTING AND PANTING)

JIMMY JR.: Uh, Tina, it's
a little crowded, isn't it?

TINA: No, it's fine. Shh, shh.

JIMMY JR.: Okay. It's
just that I... (GRUNTS)
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