02x15 - Would You Wrather Trash a Friend?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Coop and Cami Ask the World". Aired: October 12, 2018 – September 11, 2020.*
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Series follows two middle school-age siblings whose main source of decision making is crowdsourcing opinions from their millions of online followers.
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02x15 - Would You Wrather Trash a Friend?

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ ♪

Hey, Wrather-heads. Today we have a great "Would You Wrather"

using our arms and legs in unexpected ways.

Yet another excuse to showcase my knees.

You know I'm more than just eye candy.

The question is, would you rather have

someone else be your arms for a day?

Ollie: Oh, yeah! Time to make my lips pop.

Ollie, that's my cheek.

Ollie: Shh!

Or spend the day attached at the hip?

We're the thigh guys!

Please stop calling us that.

-And the Wrather-heads say... -(chimes)

-Arms? -(Cami gasps)

Come on, we were gonna kick

a football with our mega-leg.

We're doing it anyway.

Hut! Hut! Hut!

(glass shattering)

-Jenna: Was that a window?! -Cooper: We should go.

Well, Ollie, let's hope our day goes better than theirs.

Worst... day... ever!

(groans)

Who's ready for dessert?

Nooo...!

(theme song playing)

♪ Would you rather lose your phone ♪

♪ Or give up pizza for a month? ♪

♪ Share your diary with the world ♪

♪ Or have to eat it for your lunch? ♪

♪ Sing out of tune to your friends ♪

♪ Or trip and fall into your crush? ♪

♪ Shave your head, paint it red ♪

♪ Or use your dog's toothbrush? ♪

♪ We need a little Q and A ♪

♪ Come on Wrather-heads, play along ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Or would you rather do that? ♪

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

♪ Don't matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

♪ Ask the world ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance? ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance? ♪

♪ No matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

Ask the world!

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

Get back here, you little brat!

Hey, hey, hey. What is going on?

Ollie snuck into my closet and stole all of my shoes!

I needed to make a shoe fort to defend myself against the Sock People.

Do you know nothing about w*r?

Ugh, he's so annoying! I'm a teenager now.

I shouldn't have to deal with him invading my personal space!

(whining): "I'm Cami. I'm a teenager."

(blows raspberry)

What is going on with you two lately?

You're driving me nuts with your fighting.

Which is why I went ahead and scheduled a spa appointment for later today.

Ooh! I could use a massage.

It's for me!

But since I can't trust you two home alone,

you're coming with me.

Good morning, everyone! We are just hours away

from my environmental club's big fundraising auction.

Hold for applause.

And since I'm club president,

I'm in charge of raising money to clean up that disgusting Lake Myrtle.

Oh, that's a great idea! I used to love that place. It was so beautiful.

And it can be again,

thanks to me. (chuckles)

Somebody clap!

(clapping lightly)

Stop it! You guys! (giggles)

(sighs) Oh, and get this.

Nils Schloop is donating one of his sculptures for the auction.

(gasps) The Nils Schloop?

-You know him? -No!

Okay, well, Mr. Schloop is a famous artist.

People pay a lot of money to own one of his pieces.

The sculptures he makes from recycled material are so inspired.

Here, look at his latest.

Jenna: It's just a pile of junk.

The starting bid is a thousand dollars.

I hate people.

You two, let's go.

Hey, Charlotte.

Just got back from Lil' Fred's yearly tune-up.

He's been washed, waxed, oiled, and spoiled.

That was a weird afternoon.

Whoa, whoa. What are you guys doing?

Just throwing away our juicies.

Juice boxes. I don't call 'em juicies.

(sighs) I can't believe you two.

Stop ruining the environment and learn how to recycle.

We know how. It was a mistake.

Uh-huh.

Charlotte, we know how to recycle.

Uh-huh.

You know I hate it when you "uh-huh" me.

Uh-huh.

Did she just recycle shame us?

(imitating Charlotte): Uh-huh!

♪ ♪

I can't believe we have to be here.

I can babysit Ollie. I'm a teenager now.

Mom, is Cami a teenager?

I wouldn't know. She never mentions it.

Oh, will you knock it off?

-You knock it off! -Both of you knock it off!

For two hours, you are going to sit here and be perfect little angels.

Otherwise, I am going to cancel our annual beach trip to Thunder Bay.

(gasps) You wouldn't.

-Oh, watch me, you li-- -(clears throat)

Oh, hello.

Uh, I'm Jenna. I'm here for my two o'clock.

(whispers): Sorry. No talking above a whisper.

(softly): Oh, sorry. Uh, is this better?

(whispers): Still not a whisper.

(in raspy whisper): How about this?

(whispers): Better you just don't talk.

♪ ♪

Thank you so much for donating your sculpture for the auction, Mr. Schloop.

It's... beautiful.

I know.

Each piece represents a terrible injustice.

That soup can? World hunger.

That toilet paper roll?

Our inability to wipe away hate.

Oh, and that doll head is obviously daring us to save the planet.

Nope.

She's just a cutie-wootie.

Okay.

Why don't I take it inside?

Are you mad?

My art, like a human, needs fresh air to breathe.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I must say a final goodbye to her.

It's part of my pro-cess.

-Do you mean "process"? -Never question me.

-Questioning is not part of my pro-cess. -Sorry.

Uh, you should come to the auction later tonight

to see how much the sculpture goes for.

You are mad!

I must say goodbye to my art once, and once only.

Because that's part of your pro-cess?

When you say it, it sounds weird.

Okay, look. I'm sure we can make it through this appointment,

as long as you do everything I tell you.

Stop pretending you're an adult.

Your sneakers light up, just like mine.

Hey! That was mine!

Then why is it in my hands?

(sighs) So soft and warm.

Humph. I'll give you one guess why it's warm.

The only way we're gonna get through this is if we don't talk to each other.

So just stay on your tablet, and I'll stay on my phone.

sh**t. My battery's almost out. Can I borrow your charger?

Um... no.

Hey!

-What are you doing? -Using your charger.

Oh. Did the "adult" forget to bring her own?

-Give it back. -No.

Ollie, what are you doing? I need it more than you do.

-No, I need it! -(clears throat)

(whispers): Hey, you two. Stop it.

-What? -(whispers): I said, stop it.

I think she said you look like a hobbit.

-Give it to me. -(both grunting)

(splashing)

That's it.

These are going in your mom's room until she's done.

Okay.

Oh! Stop it.

She was telling us to stop it.

♪ ♪

Wait till Charlotte sees all this garbage we collected.

How dare she say we don't know how to recycle?

We'll show her. We're gonna recycle

more than anyone has ever recycled before.

C-Money from downtown!

(clattering)

Wow. Wind really took that one.

Yeah, it's whippin'.

No look!

-(clatters) -Did it go in?

Nope.

Check us out. Savin' the environment.

Oh, add the buzzer!

-(clattering) -(leaves rustling)

It's like a tornado out here.

We're out of stuff to recycle.

Wait, is that a can?

Wow. A giant pile of recyclables.

But they're all... stuck together.

I bet Charlotte forgot to put them in the bin

and they melted together from the sun.

That's why they call you "science guy."

Looks like she's the one who needs a lesson in recycling.

Let's get rid of this junk and show her how it's done.

-(grunts) -(clatters)

(clunks)

To saving Mother Earth.

To saving Mother Earth.

(clacks)

(popping)

♪ ♪

I got your text. What's up?

Oh, nothing. Just kickin' back, enjoying the planet we saved.

-Hmm. -Yep. The world's a better place today,

thanks to these muchachos .

-Um... -We filled six bins. Show her the pictures.

Where's the sculpture?

You're right. We do deserve a sculpture.

If possible, I'd like to be on a horse.

No. I left Nils' sculpture

right there under that sheet. Here. It looked like this.

Both: Oh...

I know that "oh." I hate that "oh."

We wanted to prove to you that we know how to recycle.

So, we took that sculpture apart

because we thought it was a pile of junk.

-What? -(loudly): We thought it was a pile of junk!

A thousand-dollar pile of junk!

That sculpture is the headliner of my auction tonight.

Without it, I'll never be able to raise enough money to clean up Lake Myrtle.

-Ouch. -That's a problem.

Yes, it is. I promised everyone I'd get that lake clean.

Now they'll all be let down and think I'm a failure.

-Definitely. -I already do.

Don't panic.

The recycling just got picked up.

Maybe we can catch the truck, and...

get the driver to let us look for the pieces.

Then Fred and I can put the whole thing back together.

Or forget the art and auction off a night with Fred, instead.

Weight lifting, jazz, beef casserole.

You'll raise a fortune.

Her eye is twitching.

-We should go with the first option. -Definitely.

♪ ♪

-(spits) -This water's poisoned!

(whispers): That's cucumber water.

(gasps) There are vegetables in this water?

You people are sick!

(whispers): Please be quiet.

(lips smacking)

Ollie, stop. That's so annoying.

I can't help it.

My mouth tastes like a dirty garden.

(lips smacking)

Quit it!

First you get our devices taken away, now this.

I got them taken away?

You threw my charger in the fountain.

After you wouldn't let me use it.

I hope that vegetable water makes you healthy.

(gasps) How dare you!

All: Shh!

(whispers): If you two can't be quiet, I'm gonna get your mother.

-No, it's okay. -We can be good.

(sighs) We need to make this work.

-I'm not missing out on that trip to Thunder Bay. -Me, neither.

Okay!

(sighs) Clearly we need to get our devices back.

That's the only thing that's gonna keep us from fighting.

But the whisper witch will only take them away again.

Not if we hide in the bathroom and use them.

Good thing, 'cause that cucumber water's moving quickly.

Oh.

♪ ♪

How'd it go in the recycling truck?

What's that on your neck?

-(crinkles) -Art.

Good news. We found all the sculpture pieces.

Great, but they still have to be assembled perfectly.

The auction starts in an hour.

-Please, we're professionals! -(shattering)

That felt like an unimportant piece.

Okay, well, I have to go set up.

But just match the picture perfectly, and meet me there.

-(sniffs) -And shower. Definitely shower.

♪ ♪

We've outdone ourselves.

Yeah. Besides me having a plastic fork glued to my head.

I said I was sorry. Let it go.

Wait.

Why is there a big hole? What are we missing.

Fred! There's supposed to be a doll head. We don't have it!

What? We can't leave that out. Charlotte will totally notice.

We have 30 minutes. Where in the world are we gonna find a doll head?

What?

No! You can't have Lil' Fred!

Come on! It's the only way to fix this.

Coop, I've had him forever.

He's my sassy sidekick.

(in high-pitched voice): Sidekick? I'm the main attraction, sugar lips!

(in normal voice): You see this chemistry?

You're actually making this a lot easier.

Come on, do it for Charlotte.

Can I at least ask the Wrather-heads?

Of course. Let's do it.

Hey, Wrather-heads. We need your help. I'll let Fred explain.

Coop and I threw away something that was really important to our friend,

but to fix it, I have to give up

something really important to me.

So, if you were me,

would you rather hold onto something you care about,

or sacrifice it to help your friend?

Man, it's a close one.

♪ ♪

The brochure says Mom gets ten minutes

of meditation time between treatments,

so we'll sneak in when the therapist leaves.

While Mom is Zen'd out with cucumbers on her eyes,

we'll grab our devices, then head to the bathrooms.

Wait, were you talking to me?

Ugh. Just follow me.

-(whispers): The drawers. -(whispers): Oh.

-(Ollie farts) -Jenna: Ooh!

(Jenna giggles)

For the record, that wasn't me.

Ooh. I'm excited for my avocado mask.

-Shh... -Oh.

Right. I am supposed to be relaxing.

(sighs) It's just that my kids have been such a nightmare lately.

-Shh. -(whispers): Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

But I mean really, they have been terrible.

My daughter is all like,

(whining): "I'm a teenager now. Meh, meh, meh."

Ooh.

-Yeah, that feels good. -Mm-hmm.

Wait, you're leaving?

That's it? What about my rose petal facial?

Okay, just for that, I'm telling the front desk you farted.

(whispers): Hey! What are you guys doing in there?

Follow my lead. What were you doing in there?

(chuckles) And that's how it's done.

(whispers): Let me see what's behind your back.

Run! (gasps)

-Oh, I am-- I'm so sorry. -Ollie: Cami, let's roll!

-Cami: Okay, let me-- -Ollie: Go!

Oh, no.

-(screams) -(splashing)

-Uh-oh! -That was awesome!

I have had it with you little monsters!

-All: Shh! -Shush, yourselves!

What in the world?

Hey, Mom.

You look relaxed.

I want the three of you out of this spa now!

Forget the trip to Thunder Bay.

Forget every trip.

(all applauding)

Hi. I was promised a free lavender body lotion--

Get out!

♪ ♪

The sculpture. I--

I can't believe you guys did it.

This is it.

Exactly how it looked before.

Yep. It's perfect. (sobs)

You know, I was really angry at you guys,

but every once in a while, you guys come through when-- Is that Little Fred?

I told you he was too beautiful not to be noticed.

Man, you guys! The auction's already started!

It'll be fine. No one will know the difference.

Except him!

What's Nils doing here?

Maybe he heard an angel was taken before he had the chance to fly.

(sobbing)

♪ ♪

This is a disaster.

You guys cover the sculpture. I'll try to get rid of Nils.

What do we cover it with?

I got an idea.

-Fred, no! -(tablecloth whips)

How'd you do that?

I'm a man of mystery.

Also, please tell me someone recorded that on their phone. That was crazy!

Nils! Um, I'm surprised to see you.

I thought you only say goodbye to your art once.

Normally, but while I was napping in my gazebo,

my piece came to me in a dream.

-It told me the funniest story. -(both laughing)

And then the saddest.

Where is it? I must talk to it one last time.

She's napping right now, but I'd be happy to deliver a message.

Shh! I can hear it. She's calling me.

(in high-pitched voice): I'm okay. Go home.

There she is.

My masterpiece!

What have you done to her?

(high-pitched voice): It's still me.

♪ ♪

I can't believe you two.

I still have avocado stuck up my nose.

And I have a paperclip up mine.

You'll learn to live with it.

I'll go get you a tissue.

Mom, I'm sorry, but this isn't my fault.

Okay, Ollie constantly invades my personal space.

He doesn't respect the fact that I'm a teenager now.

Well, maybe he'll respect you when you start acting like one.

What do you mean?

If you want to be taken seriously as a teenager,

you need to learn to fix situations like this with your brother,

not make them worse.

-But, Mom, it's not easy. -Oh, I know.

I went through it with you and Charlotte when she became a teenager.

It's like I'm watching the same movie all over again.

Well, yeah, but that was different.

Charlotte and I used to goof around all the time,

and then she became all high and mighty when she turned 13--

Oh, I hear it now.

Mm-hmm. And it's worse for Ollie,

because now all you guys are teenagers and he's not.

I guess I never thought of that.

He's annoying you because he wants your attention.

Not long ago, you two were living together in an igloo,

and now he's afraid he's losing his buddy.

(footsteps approaching)

Here.

Ollie, this isn't a tissue.

Humph. I know. It's Cami's sock. Blow away.

Ollie, why would you--

(sighs)

Well, I guess it's one less sock we have to battle against.

What are you talking about?

We have to defend ourselves from the Sock People, remember?

Do you know nothing about w*r?

(scoffs) So you're not mad?

Nah. Now, let's go raid Charlotte's closet,

and add a chimney to that shoe fort.

I thought you'd never ask.

Wait!

Before you do that, let's not forget that you two just cost me a spa day.

So if you still want that family trip to happen...

Get rubbin'.

♪ ♪

Nils, I am so sorry.

Your sculpture was accidentally...

confused for trash.

What?

We tried to put it back together,

but we couldn't find the doll head,

so we used another one.

A more handsome one.

Look, I know it's not entirely your original piece,

but it could still help raise a lot of money to clean up our lake.

Absolutely not. I am removing it immediately.

Oh, my goodness! That is amazing!

And it's brilliant!

The heart, the power, I-- (gasps)

That puppet's face!

It's as if it's staring into my soul.

I'm sorry, everyone. This piece--

Is created by me...

-Nils Schloop. -Oh!

Each item put together by me, and me alone.

-Oh! I bet $1,000. -(Charlotte gasps)

-(all exclaiming) -Charlotte: Really? Thank you!

Two-thousand!

What are you doing? You don't have that kind of money.

I need Lil' Fred back.

-Four-thousand. -(gasps)

(all gasping)

-Five-thousand. -(all gasping)

Ten-thousand dollars!

-(all gasping) -One-mill--

-(Fred shrieks) -(thuds)

We gladly accept your bid of $10,000.

-Sold! Thank you! -Oh!

Lil' Fred?

Would you like some of my apple sauce?

Coop, I appreciate what you're doing,

but it's just not the same.

It's also very disturbing.

You did a really good thing.

Because of you, Charlotte raised enough money

to clean up Lake Myrtle,

and fund a few other projects.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, Fred.

Thanks again for sacrificing so much to help my auction.

Of course. You're welcome.

So, I thought I'd get you something.

It looks just like him!

But it's not him.

Lil' Fred was one of a kind.

Nothing could replace him. Thanks, Charlotte.

Oh, okay. Then I'll take him back.

I changed my mind. Gimme, gimme!

(loud shattering and clattering)

Huh.

♪ ♪

Ollie: How dare you?
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