01x10 - Would You Wrather Escape?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Coop and Cami Ask the World". Aired: October 12, 2018 – September 11, 2020.*
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Series follows two middle school-age siblings whose main source of decision making is crowdsourcing opinions from their millions of online followers.
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01x10 - Would You Wrather Escape?

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, Wratherheads,
Coop and Cami here in our backyard.


Before we start,
let's introduce you


to someone who's super sweet
and a ton of fun.


Of course, I'm talking about--


Fred, get outta the way.


[both]
Monster pie!


Today's question:


Would you rather
eat monster pie or get hit by it?


Ollie knows what he wants.


Ollie, you want nose plugs?


I want pie!


Okay, Fred, prepare
to launch the pie


if that's what the Wratherheads choose.
You got it?


You mean pull down this lever
when you tell me?


Yeah, I think I "got it."


Vote away, Wratherheads.


-[bee buzzing]
-[Fred yelling]


Bee! Bee! Ahh!


-Ahh!
-[machine whirs]


[Cami, Coop and Ollie]
Nooo!


Fred!


Due to technical difficulties...


and raging anger,


we'll see you guys tomorrow.


False alarm, just a fly.


Don't worry, g*ng. I'm okay.


You just ruined
the most epic pie fling ever!


Now you get on that launcher
so we can send you into the fence.


You mean over the fence?


No.


I'm sorry, okay?


The good news is it was still kinda funny.


Right, Cooper?


Eh, it coulda been funnier.


Hello, Wrathers.


I'm guessing the giant flying pie
came from your house?


Now it's funny.


Mmm, tastes like neighbor.


[theme music playing]


Would you rather lose your phone


Or give up pizza for a month


Share your diary with the world


Or have to eat it for your lunch


Sing out of tune to your friends


Or trip and fall into your crush


Shave your head, paint it red


Or use your dog's toothbrush


We need a little Q and A


Come on Wratherheads, play along


Would you rather do this


Would you rather do this


Or would you rather do that


Would you rather do that


Don't matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!
Would you rather do this


Would you rather do this


Or would you rather just dance


No matter what we do
We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!


Would you rather do that?


Cooper, could you tell your friend


he doesn't respect
our show whatsoever.


Oh, we're still doing this?


Coop, could you tell
your sister that I'm sorry,


it was an accident,


and her hair smells
like an April morning.


Go on, say it!


Guys, it's been
three straight hours of this.


Cami, he said he was sorry.


I don't care.


I planned this stunt,


I got the pie,
I brought in the launcher.


When I make a plan,
I want to see it ex*cuted correctly.


Yet my lovable mix-up
is the talk of the comment section.


So I guess the words
you should be looking for are,


"Thank you, and your hair smells
like strawberries in July."


You don't get it, do you?


And what's worse,
you don't care.


Cooper, this has happened
way too many times.


I don't think Fred should be
on the show anymore.


Whoa! We can't do
the show without Fred.


He's like our wacky sidekick.


Wacky sidekick?
You mean "foxy" sidekick.


I printed it on my business card.


Cami, Fred does a ton of stuff for us.


And most importantly, he's our friend.


No, he's your friend.


You want to keep doing Would You Wrather
with you, he's off the show!


-Cami...
-Let her go.


I've been holding in
a toot for five minutes.


She's pretty mad.


She always gets like this
and then things always go back to normal.


You know what's not normal?


What just came out of you!


Come on, Couch Fairy,
give me a snack.


Ooo, jackpot! Thanks, Couch Fairy!


Dinner's almost ready,
don't fill up on couch food.


How's your state history
project coming along?


Dare I say, great?


Keep up the good work.
Can't wait to see it.


Come on, Couch Fairy,
give me a history project.


Ooh, grilled cheese!


I'm gonna make you history.


Listen up, family.


That escape room
we do every year?


It's back! This time it's a creepy circus.


I snagged us the last reservation
tomorrow night.


[muffled]
Tomorrow night?


Dinner's over!
Let the training begin!


I need to calm down.


No, you don't.


Start your puzzles!


This better not be
in place of dessert.


Escape rooms
are about problem solving,


so it's important we practice
for all possible puzzle possibilities!

Does spit help you escape?

We've escaped faster than everyone else
in this town four years running.

Puzzles down!

[all]
Team Wrather! Boom!

Chew on that, North Plains!

Yep, I have a problem.

We Wrathers may not know
how to stay seated on a roller coaster,

but we sure know
how to escape things...

Alright, just need a sitter
to watch Ollie...

Uh-oh.

What "uh-oh"?

I forgot. Ollie's presentation
is tomorrow night.

[kids]
What?

I'm sorry, guys.
I feel horrible.

But I'm sure
you can find someone else

and bring home the record.

But we need you!

Ollie can bring someone else
to his presentation!

Or Ollie can skip it.

No, we both have
to suffer through--

I mean,
support your education.

Now go finish your project.

Right... finish.

It's a four person minimum
to compete.

Four! Four! Four!

So you're saying it's four?

I have an idea, I'll call Fred.

Why? Does he know
a good replacement?

Fred'll be great.

You know how many times
he's had to escape from his own locker?

Of course. I'm the one who locks him in.

I'm texting my assistant, Pam.

You think Pam's available?

Sorry it took me so long.

-Hello.
-Ah!

What are you doing up?

Eating neighbor pie.

How 'bout you?

I have to ask
a "Would You Wrather."

It's the middle of the night.

Not in France.

This is about Cami and Fred,

so I don't want them to know.

They're my two best friends and--

Your teen drama
makes me sleepy.

Bonjour, Wratherheads.

My two best friends
have been fighting and I hate it.

But I might have a fix.

So, here's my question:

Would you rather
keep a family winning streak alive

or lose it to solve the problem

between your sister
and your best buddy?

My hair isn't the issue,
JeanClaude97.

It's called bed head.

Jealous much?

Alright, I've got some work to do.

Thank you, Paris. Oui, oui.

[chuckles]

I said "wee-wee."

Oh man, now I have to wee-wee.

[door knob rattling]

[Ollie] Can't a guy
eat pie in the bathroom anymore?

Escape time! No one
puts a Wrather on lock down.

We can do anything!

Yay, the Wrathers are back.

Charlotte, you gotta tone it down a notch.

Sorry. It's just that problem solving
and puzzles are my passion!

This family has a saliva problem.

Are you kidding? Pam just canceled.

This news is so shocking.
What will we do?

We need a four-person team to enter
the escape room or we have to forfeit.

I need to sit down.

I have an idea.

Cooper, don't you dare.

You caught me in the middle
of a racquetball match,

but anything for you guys.

You don't play racquetball.

But I look like someone who does.

I am at a loss for words.

I know, it's the shorts.

Weren't expecting these calves, were you?

Why would Pam bail on us like that?

And she wonders why I don't pay her.

Maybe she got sick, or lost,

or someone put her on a bus to St. Louis.

[whispering]
It's a mystery.

Okay, quick reminder,

no phones or that person is disqualified.

I've got cameras everywhere.

Current record is 49 minutes, 18 seconds.

Record holders? I just see losers.

Those are the record holders.

That was my family.

And now, your adventure begins.

The performers have abandoned this circus

and it is up to you to find the clues

to lead you out
of this three-ring nightmare.

I've got chills.

You, sir, are very good.

Thank you. You know,
I worked really hard--

Finish the intro!

So step right up

and welcome to the creepiest show

on post-apocalyptic Earth.

I give you, Cir-pocalypse!

[Cami]
You heard the man.

We need to b*at
49 minutes and 18 seconds.

Fred, I know you can do this.


Remember, anything in here
can be a clue.


[phone ringing]


What was that?


[manager]
That was a phone.


Whoever's responsible
is disqualified.


What?


I think it's Charlotte's.


How is that even possible?


Sorry, but it's against the rules


to speak to a disqualified contestant.


[manager]
Mosley will escort you to the lobby.


Who's Mosley?


[laughing maniacally]


[screaming]


Hoping that was Mosley.


Alright, Coop, I guess
it's just you and me.


And Fred.
The guy with dancer's calves.


Fred's right. Not about his legs.


But we can still break the record.


We're the three musketeers.


I'm back!


Yes!


Wait, what?
You were disqualified.


Mosley's in my bio class.


He's falling behind
and I offered to tutor him.


Mosley saw you take my phone.


I don't know what you're up to,


but you picked the wrong person
to play with.


You know, there are other words out there
that don't start with P.


I know.


Charlotte, get over here!


The three amigos,
back together again!


I count four.


I can't believe I gave up pretending
to play racquetball for this.


Wow, these are
some fantastic lighthouses.


Ooh, Ollie, is this yours?


Don't ask questions
you already know the answer to.


Hi, Mrs. Wrather.
It's so nice to have you here.


Oh, I couldn't wait.


It's been on my calendar for months.


Caring parent.


Well, the students loved
making these Minnesota landmarks.


-And they are all so great.
-They are.


Though we were looking,


and Ollie and I
couldn't find his project.


Oh, right.


There wasn't enough room
for all the projects up front,


so some had to be put
on a table in the way--


north side of the room.


Oh, great, thank you.
Come on, Ollie.


Here's mine!


Oh, Ollie, it's so...


Wow.


You've stacked the toilet paper rolls
so professionally.


Doesn't it bother you that you worked
so hard on your project


and it's stuck back here
with the cleaning supplies?


Nothing bothers me.


Well, I'm not happy!


Excuse me, coming through.


Just want to make sure
everyone can see all the projects.


Hey! This is not a trash table!


This is a table of children's dreams!


Clock is ticking, people!


There's too many keys!


You know who's great with keys? Fred.


It's true. I found your house key.


On your mother's key chain.


Wait, I just solved this puzzle:


"Unlock the fun with number ."


Yes! The keys are numbered.


Good job, Charlotte.


Clown shoes.


You know who's great
with clown shoes? Fred.


Charlotte, I saw a puzzle
in the clown car.


On it!


Cooper exaggerates.


I have medium knowledge
of clown accessories.


You can't still be mad at me.


I guess you can.


There's nothing in here but junk.


It's a dead end.
Bail! Bail! Bail!


You seem like you're in
a really good place.


Why aren't you looking?
Don't you want to win?


I'm spending time with you,
I've already won.


That's so sweet...
and such a lie!


Spill it.


Fine. Fred's been driving Cami crazy,


so I'm hoping if he does
something great in here,


he'll get back on her good side.


Fred always comes through.


[Fred]
How is this productive?


Not sure it's working.


Look, Fred has his issues,
but he's a good guy.


I just don't like seeing
my friends fight.


So can you just pretend
to be stuck in here?


What is going on in there?


We can't break the record
with you two sitting on your butts.


We're trapped in here,
right, Charlotte?


Uhh... Yep.


Uh... The door is stuck.


Alas, it must be a trap.


"Alas"?


Are you kidding me, Charlotte?


Roll down the window!


Uh, those are stuck too.


Just keep working with Fred
while we try and get out.


Which we won't
because, alas, it is a trap.


Boy, did I miss my calling.


You two hurry up.


I can't be held responsible
for what happens to Captain Calves.


And there we go.


I just thought it'd be easier to see
all the projects if they were together.


Where it doesn't smell
like chemicals and a dirty mop.


Of course.


Thank you. That's much better.


I mean, come on.


We all know that these nice projects
were done by the parents,


and the ones shunned to the back


were done by the kids themselves.


Sometimes the children struggle


and the parents like to help a little.


A little?


This one has working lights,


that one has a wave machine,


and this one
has a nicer kitchen than I have!


It's unfair and it is crushing
my child's spirit.


Aren't there supposed
to be cupcakes?


Right over there, sweetie.


Later!


I've never seen him so upset.


You should all be ashamed of yourselves.


You're only hurting your kids


by doing their projects for them.


Sure, my son's lighthouse is
a toilet paper roll on top of a mud pile--


sweet Moses, I hope it's mud.


But at least it's his project.


Now if you'll excuse me,
I need to tend to a very distraught son.


There's a cookie
inside the cupcake!


What?


Pssst, Fred.


If we're gonna win this thing,
you need to work with Cami.


She's calm and really focused now.


[screams]


I'm good.


Just go!


You know, Cami, I was thinking,
I might be able to help you more if--


Ahh! Fred, get off my foot!


I'm so sorry.


But they're clown shoes, right?


So, it's a funny pain.


Can you just stop getting in my way?


You're just taking up
space here and everywhere.


Go stay in your corner.


I see. Fine, I'll work on my own.


You don't have to sit in here anymore.


If you want to help Cami, go ahead.


You think I'm going to quit?


Fred and Cami
are my escape room now.


And I need a win.


Come on, Fred!


Okay, when this is over,
I'm going to seek help.


Thanks for sticking this out.


I know it's been a little boring.


[both screaming]


[laughing]


Mosley! What is your deal?


Hmm. That's weird.


It's almost like I'm supposed
to be walking in these footprints.


Look. Fred found a clue!


Juggling pins?


It's almost like I'm supposed
to be juggling these.


Juggle!
It spells out juggle.


Try to keep up, Cami.


That's the key to the door.
You did it! We can b*at the record!


-Fred came through.
-Boom!


If I remember correctly,
you said I'm just taking up space.


So I'll be in my corner.
With my key.


Alas... we spoke too soon.


Ollie, I'm very proud
of your lighthouse.


Why don't we
get out of here?


Attention, everyone.


All of the lighthouses
are amazing.


And tonight I thought
I would give this ribbon


to the lighthouse that best captures
the spirit of our school.


And this ribbon goes to...


I wonder which parent
is going to win this bogus award.


Ollie Wrather!


What?


I had no idea
it was a competition.


It wasn't.
But you made a good point.


And I'm really afraid of you.


Well, thank you very much.


You've made
a boy's dream come true!


Who won what now?


[manager] You only have
two minutes to b*at the record.


Fred. There's a time for games.


This isn't one of them.


Give me the key.


You've been unusually mad at me
and I want to know why.


And I know it's not
because I'm ruining your show.


I'm huge with moms.


I'm not having
this argument again.


[Coop and Charlotte]
Have it!


Less than two minutes.


Fine.


Um...


I mask my feelings for you with anger


because my love burns for you
like an eternal flame.


Okay, even I'm not buying that.


Clock's ticking.


Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Bye-bye, record.

Sometimes
I wish I was more like you!


-What?
-[both] What?


[manager]
What? Uh... One and a half minutes.


Fred, I don't know how you do it.


Nothing bothers you.


When things go wrong,
you just go with the flow.


Until I get chased
with a size twenty-two shoe.


Not my proudest moment.


I guess I wish I could let go of stuff
the way you can.


I always need everything
to be perfect,


but sometimes
I miss out on fun.


I'm sorry I've been
so hard on you.


Thank you, Cami.
That means a lot.


Aw, there's that eternal flame.


And you ruined it.


I win! I win!
I own this town!


And you're happy
for Fred and Cami.


Who?


[manager]
Thirty seconds to break the record.


Quick.
Give me the key!


Cami, this is your opportunity
to be like me.


Stop worrying about the record
and just have some fun.


You make a lot of sense.


But that's not me!


Woohoo. You broke the record.


Yes! We did it!


Gotta admit, winning is pretty cool.


Maybe there's a piece of me
that should be like you.


Aw, that's sweet.


Now put my name up
on the wall!


After you tell your friends
to stop pretending to be stuck in the car.


Pretending?


Yeah, they've been trying to get you two
to be friends again.


It's like watching
bad reality TV in here.


Could you do us a favor?


Thanks again, Charlotte.


Should we get out of here?


Okay.


[door rattling]


My door is stuck. For real.


Mine, too.


Mine, three.


[both screaming]


[all screaming]


Yay! There are my record breakers!


And there is the other big winner!


Wait, he won a ribbon with that thing?


Yep. And he made it all by himself.


Hate to break it to you, but that was
my lighthouse three years ago.


See?


Ollie? You passed
your sister's project off as your own?


Sorry, but that's not Cami's either.


It was mine, four years ago.


Yours? That's my lighthouse
from five years ago.


Are you kidding me?


I don't even remember you making that.


I didn't. You made it for me.


Well, I am very disappointed
in all of you.


Me too.


You children need to do
your own projects...


But also, that ribbon is mine!


Boom!


Whee!
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