04x12 - Pick a Side, Pick a Fight

[bunniefuu]

Angelica and I used to date.

Do you know if she's seeing anyone?

We are seeing each other.

- I have a date.

- A date?

I just figured, like, since you're poly,

that you wouldn't really mind.

Malika, this is Gillian.

Hi! It's nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

I'm Dana Batra, Lucia's

campaign manager.

Will hates her.

They're always in a tug of w*r

for Lucia's time and attention.

We wanted you to have a

place that feels like yours.

Welcome home.

Ivan's looking for you.

Thanks for the heads-up.

I gotta admit I'm a little nervous,

this being our first official date.

Is it true that you set them up?

I guess it was more of a test, really,

you know, just to see if he

was still interested in me

before I poured my heart out to him.

Elliot, this is Davia.

She's gonna be your homeschool teacher.

Elliot, please put down your phone.

I'm not doing anything on my phone.

Elliot, put your phone away

or I will take it from you.

Evan, you never responded to my texts.

- About us?

- Yes.

I don't think it's appropriate

for there to be an us,

now that we're working together again.

It's a little different.

But I guess you're right.

For my next trick, I

will saw a woman in half

with the help of my

two lovely assistants.

As you can see,

she is real,

alive,

and in one piece.

So without further ado

Always gets a little

tough in the middle here.

Now, Lucia, Angelica,

will you pull her apart?

Uh-oh!

What?

I thought the food was good.

Me too.

Although the ceviche

could've been more acidic,

and the creme brulee

a little less yolky.

Hmm. But how about the company?

Mmm. Mmm.

Definitely a little less

funny, charming, and handsome.

I'll try to tone it down.

Why don't we

go back to your place tonight?

- Tonight?

- Mmm.

I I don't know because, um

my place is is kind of a mess.

- Hmm?

- Yeah.

And the Ritz Cooper requires

at least 24 hours of advance

notification for reservations.

Okay. Okay.

But you can't keep The

Coterie a secret forever.

I am starting to think

that you've got some

bodies buried in the walls.

Please. That is a rookie move.

I would never bury

bodies in the walls, okay?

- You can't control the smell.

- Oh!

Hey, what's up?

I have, uh

just been trying to

get my birth certificate

so I can get a social security card,

get a job.

Problem is, is I was born at home.

My parents, they never

registered my birth.

And there are no witnesses I know of.

So as far as the

government is concerned,

I do not exist.

Well, there must be someone in

your family who knows something.

My My parents were not close

to any relatives that I remember.

Hmm.

Well, what about one

of those DNA services?

You know, the ones that

can, uh, trace your lineage?

People find relatives

through them all the time.

What if you have a family member

you don't even know about who can help?

No. I don't think so.

It'll just be very expensive.

Well, hey, I don't mind

lending you the money.

I know you're good for it.

You paid me back for

those burlesque costumes.

No, it would just be a waste of time.

There are over 63,000

unhoused people in this city.

And this crisis is Lucia's

number-one concern going forward.

We are gathering

surveys from constituents

to understand what their

biggest concerns are

when it comes to the unhoused.

You don't need a survey

to know what voters want.

They want people to stop sleeping

in their driveways and in underpasses.

If you wanna be reelected in the fall,

how you address this, or fail to,

will be the deciding factor.

And you have a problem

with an encampment

right in the middle of your district,

which residents are up in arms about.

Every unhoused person

is a constituent too.

They need our help.

People may not want encampments,

but a lot are also opposed to sweeps.

Which is why you need to tread carefully

and come up with a creative solution

to solve this problem.

I'm confident we can come up

with some fresh, innovative ideas

to address this crisis.

So let's get to work, all right?

Don't forget, Thirsty

Thurs-Yay is tomorrow night.

There will be wine, beer,

and some light "horse devoors."

Spouses and significant

others are invited as well.

And not to spoil any surprises,

but I might do a magic trick or two.

You don't wanna miss it!

You wanna miss it.

Will is a terrible magician.

So you're not going?

Oh, I'm for sure going.

But just for the free booze.

And to see who gets drunk

and humiliates themselves.

Hopefully, it's not me this time.

Oh.

So an average professional running back

sprints 40 yards in 4.5 seconds.

Assuming speed is constant,

how many seconds will it take

the average running

back to run 100 yards?

11.25.

Correct! Good job.

So do you like the Seattle Seahawks?

Well, I'm not supposed to.

I grew up in Wisconsin,

so I'm a Packers fan.

- A Cheesehead?

- Yeah.

Well, the Seahawks had the

greatest defensive team ever.

They're called the Legion of

Boom. You have to see this video

Okay, hol Hold on.

Let's finish our lesson first,

and let's not get distracted.

It'll only take a second.

Why don't we just get this done,

and then we can take a break,

and you can show me then?

But I always get a break at 10:00.

Elliot, we haven't been working

long enough to take a break yet.

But it's 10:00. It's my break time!

- Elliot!

- I'm taking my break now!

Uh, I I have no idea

how that could've happened.

I'm so sorry. Oh, okay.

We'll get on that right away.

- Thank you.

- What was that about?

Who's in charge of updating

Glow Fille's new product images?

Exactly!

Look, we need to clarify

who's handling what

by picking out a point person in charge.

Uh We always agreed

we all have equal say.

It's not about equal say.

It's about, like, a Delegator-in-Chief.

So they'd be the DIC?

I like DIC.

I mean, D-I-C.

It'll be like an inside joke.

Okay. So who wants to be the DIC?

Not me.

Me either.

I'll be the DIC!

Oh, I mean, if you want to

I mean, it's okay if you want to

Because I wouldn't mind

I mean, I wouldn't mind either.

- But if you want to

- But if you really want to

You know what? Let's put it to a vote.

- A vote?

- An anonymous vote.

- I don't know.

- Great! A vote.

And, you know, no hard

feelings either way.

None at all!

Okay. Let's vote.

Everyone done?

Oh, yeah.

Tied.

Well, I suppose we could both be DICs.

Well, then we would have to

delegate who's delegating.

Maybe we should think

about it a little bit more

and then later, we can vote again.

Great idea! That's

what I was going to say.

Uh, besides, we need to catch up

on implementing our

client-side changes.

Exactly. Which is what I was gonna say.

Oh. Of course.

- Ooh. Sorry.

- Excuse me.

I can take care of that.

- Yeah, it hasn't moved since.

- Yeah, it's not a problem.

- Thank you.

- All right.

- Never buy a house.

- Oh, that is not an issue.

Right. How very elder millennial of me.

I forgot home ownership

went out with boy bands.

Oh, it's all that money that

we waste on avocado toast.

We can't afford to buy a house.

How are things going

with Elliot in there?

Um

better.

But it's been a real struggle

keeping him off the internet.

Well, he knows he can't play games

or watch videos until after 5:00,

and only if he's done

all of his homework.

Yeah.

Elliot can be very willful,

but you can't give in to him.

You have to be as stubborn as he is.

You can't back down, or

he'll think he can win.

- It's good to know.

- Great!

- Can I take that?

- Yes.

- Or did you want to jump in?

- Uh-oh! I'm good.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

Seems like we're at a stalemate.

Seems that way.

Here.

You know, frankly,

I would love to just let Claire do it.

I mean, she's a phenomenal engineer.

So good with the little details.

But don't you worry that sometimes

she isn't big-picture oriented?

Mariana's amazing with big picture.

But wouldn't you say

that attention to detail

is what a good delegator needs?

And when it comes to

troubleshooting for clients,

she does get a little stressed.

And only because she cares so much.

You know, but bedside

manner is important.

Don't you think?

Perky personality does help.

It really does.

You make really good points.

I really do.

- Again?

- Again?

All right, what we need is a

fifth person to break the tie.

Evan? Wait, no, I take that back.

He's supposed to be hands-off.

Besides, can he really be impartial?

Well, I think that

we need to be prepared

for any and all questions.

I back Mariana up on that.

I'm good with it.

Where are you going?

I can't stay.

But you promised.

I've changed my mind.

Me too.

Great!

Do you have a minute?

I could spare 60 seconds

if you walk with me.

Well, I know the unhoused crisis

is your biggest priority right now,

which it should be,

and it got me thinking.

So much of that population

consists of women

who are impacted by incarceration.

So why not include a residential

space in the women's center?

I mean, housing is the

foundation they need

to be able to access other

services we'd be offering.

It's a great idea.

And I think a housing solution

could help get the

council to approve funding.

Good work, Malika!

- I'll make some calls.

- Thank you!

And I don't know if you're coming

to Thirsty Thurs whatever it is.

Will's idea, clearly.

But there will be staffers

from other council

members' offices attending.

It would be a good opportunity

to start working them.

Right, of course. I'll be there.

And I hope you'll bring Angelica.

I don't want there to be

any awkwardness between us.

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

I'll see if she's available.

Rough day?

How can you tell?

By the height of your pour.

Hey, you had anxiety as a kid, right?

Yeah. And still, uh, an anxious adult.

Yeah, the kid I'm

homeschooling does too.

He just gets really dug in, you know?

And his dad says that

I can't let him win.

But I'm afraid the harder I push,

the harder he'll push back.

Well, I think you're right.

I mean,

when you have anxiety, you want control.

What helped me was knowing

what was gonna happen every day,

what the schedule was, what to expect.

And having a say.

All right?

Getting into a battle of

wills with a kid like

- Elliot.

- Yeah, like Elliot.

It's just gonna be a

losing battle for everyone.

Thank you.

Yeah. Anytime.

So how are things going with Ryan?

Are you still seeing her?

Yeah. I am.

I was just wondering,

you know, I haven't seen

her around The Coterie.

To be honest, I'm a

I'm a little worried

about what she's gonna

think about this place.

Why?

Because she's like

a real, mature adult.

And we're not real, mature adults?

Most of the time.

Yeah, but seriously,

if you're worried about Ryan

judging you for where you live,

isn't it better to know now?

You know, before you get in too deep?

- Yeah. Guess you have a point.

- Mm-hmm.

- Can I get a Pixy Stix?

- No! What are you, a child?

- Come on!

- No!

Now that you're dating

a real, mature woman,

you have to eat like a real, mature man.

Sorry.

- Thank you so much for doing this.

- Of course.

No, don't cut too short.

Sorry, I love your hair.

Thanks.

It's just been, uh,

driving me a little crazy.

I don't think I've had a real haircut

since I ran away from

my last foster home.

Hmm. Funny.

You know, I was in foster care.

Yeah, me too.

- Oh. You You were?

- Yeah.

We were.

Can I ask

Did either of you try to reconnect

with your biological family after that?

I did.

Um, when I was 15,

I found my birth mom on Facebook.

And then later, we found my birth dad.

How was that?

It was hard with my birth mom at first,

but we have a really

good relationship now.

I had a complicated

relationship with my mother too.

Then, once I reunited with my father,

I understood so much more.

So you're both glad that

you connected with them?

- Yeah, I am.

- Me too.

It's been great.

Do you have any contact

with your birth parents?

Uh, no, my my parents are dead.

But, um, Davia suggested

that I I take one of those DNA tests

to see if I can find a family member

who might be able to

get my birth certificate.

I think that sounds like a good idea.

Yeah.

I just don't know.

I mean, what if I find someone

that could've taken me

in after my parents d*ed

but just didn't?

You know, just let me get

put in the foster care.

I'm not sure I wanna know that.

And how are they supposed to feel

about me just, like, showing up now?

Or maybe there

Maybe there isn't anyone,

and I really am alone.

Well, you're not alone.

You have us.

Yeah. And no matter what you find out,

we got you.

- Thanks.

- Mm-hmm.

I still can't believe this is all real.

I've just been in survival mode,

you know, for such a long time,

it's hard to imagine

living like a normal person.

Yeah, I get it.

Take it from me,

living is so much better

than just surviving.

Okay! Let's see.

What do you think?

I love it.

Oh! I love it.

- Yes!

- Whoa!

Yeah, yeah, whoa!

Okay, okay. I think this calls

for a former-foster-kids selfie.

All right. New here. Who dis?

So we'll take a 15-minute

break at 10:00 in the morning

and for 30 minutes for lunch

and another 15-minute break at 2:00.

Does that sound fair?

Yes, that's fair.

Can I do whatever I

want during my breaks?

Yes.

And these are

get-out-of-class-free cards.

If you need them,

they're good for a five-minute break.

And you can use them whenever you want,

as long as when your break is over,

you get right back to work. Understood?

Cool.

There's this game, Solace of Empires.

- Have you ever played?

- No.

- Can I show you?

- At your break, you can.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

Now, are you ready to get to work?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Come on! The door's closing!

I'm trying to get there! Where are you?

Right there!

Davia, could I have a word with you?

Hey. Um, of course.

You're gonna get stuck on this level!

Uh No, it's okay.

Um five more minutes.

I thought I was pretty clear

that Elliot doesn't get

video games during the day.

I'm sorry. I heard you,

but it's his break

If you heard me, then

why is he on his Xbox?

We made a deal where he would agree

to focus during his lesson time

if he was allowed to do whatever

he wanted during his break.

Well, that is not your deal to make.

I told you, you cannot give in to him.

And I didn't hire you to

play video games with my son!

Hey. Can Davia stay for dinner?

You know, I'm sure Davia

has other things to do.

Please?

Actually, I don't

I don't have anything.

I'd love to stay. If

that's okay with you.

Sure.

Cool.

Oh, welcome to Thirsty Thurs-Yay.

This is the name of

a well-known person.

Ask people questions about who they are

and try to guess.

Next!

How are you feeling?

Oh, about an after-work

party in my ex's office?

Couldn't be more excited!

- Thank you for coming and supporting me.

- Of course.

Here she comes.

Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Thank you both for coming.

It's nice to see you.

You too.

I have good news.

I spoke with a few council members,

and they love the idea

of housing being married

to the women's center.

And I think I have just the location

right here in our district for it.

Great! Where?

3rd and Temple. It's empty, city-owned.

Sounds perfect.

I don't think we're gonna have a problem

getting the council to fund it now.

That's so exciting!

There are staffers here, so talk it up.

I will.

I need to say hello

to somebody. Excuse me.

Uh, okay.

Oh, my God!

Wait That is the first time

I've seen Lucia truly

on board with the center!

I wonder what the catch is.

The catch is Lucia needs to

address the unhoused crisis,

and there is no catch.

Oh, Malika! This is my wife, Debra.

- Hi.

- Hiiii.

And you are?

I'm Angelica.

I'm sorry, um, Angelica.

So, how long have you two been married?

Oh, 15 blissful years with

five kids to show for it.

Aw.

Mwah.

You know the secret to a happy marriage?

I always get my wife

flowers.

They're beautiful, Willie!

She's the best.

This kinda looks like a geode, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. It could.

Did you know that the inside of a geode

is usually lined w

with two, um, layers?

Um, a a druse!

A druse of tiny, quartz crystals

surrounded by, um, a translucent

layer called, um, a white agate.

I did not know that.

I love this song!

Ah! Me too!

Caught a vibe ♪

Baby, are you coming for the ride? ♪

I just wanna look into your eyes ♪

I just wanna stay for

the night, night, night ♪

When we take a drive ♪

Maybe we can hit the 405 ♪

Hypnotized by the lights ♪

Man, this might be the life ♪

Adding a housing element

to the women's center

allows for shelter and services

to be in the same location.

This could be a model

for how we should be dealing

with the unhoused crisis.

I think it sounds like a slam dunk.

I see no reason why Councilman

Amin won't support you.

You're Beyonce.

- The name on your back.

- Oh. Thank you.

You're welcome.

So you're a friend of Malika's?

I am.

She's very idealistic.

Between us, I don't think

she'll last in politics.

It's like if you put Elizabeth

Warren on The Bachelor.

Malika's too real.

Heyyy.

Sorry about that.

I see you've met Tracey.

- Not formally. I'm Angelica.

- Hi.

Oh, God! Will is doing his card tricks.

- Is this your card?

- No.

You sure?

I'm gonna go steal some wine.

Last Thirsty Thurs-Yay,

I snagged a case of Charles Shaw.

- Oh!

- Maybe there's some more.

- Oh, my!

- Okay.

Malika, this is Beth.

Beth is an attorney for the city.

Beth, this is Malika,

she's my new star staffer.

Oh. Hi. It's nice to meet you.

It's a pleasure.

Angelica, do you remember Beth?

Yes, I do.

Hi, Beth.

It's been ages. How've you been?

Great.

Why don't we all catch

up a little bit later?

I wanna introduce

Beth to everybody else.

Okay.

If you've mingled

enough, I'd like to leave.

Is everything okay?

Yep. I just would like to go.

I've never seen Elliot so excited

about geodes or Brussels sprouts.

Oh.

Um listen, I didn't

mean to ignore your wishes

about the video games.

It's just, giving Elliot the opportunity

to manage his own breaks

seems to really work for him.

But if you feel strongly about it,

I will make sure that

he does something else.

No, it's okay.

If If it's working,

let's, uh, see how it goes.

Thank you.

And I know you weren't thrilled

about me staying for dinner tonight,

but it really meant a lot to me

that Elliot asked me to stay.

Really been trying to

get him to trust me.

I'm glad you stayed. It was fun.

It's usually just the two of

us sitting in there in silence.

It's hard even for me to get

him talking about anything,

let alone sing.

But to be fair, I never

sing because I'm terrible.

Well, you can't be

that bad. Sing me a bar.

- No, no, no!

- Oh, come on!

Caught a vibe ♪

Baby, are you coming for the ride? ♪

You're pretty bad.

You can stop that now.

Oh, no, don't worry.

It's okay. We can work on it.

Oh, so now you're my teacher too?

I should get going.

Uh, thank you again for dinner tonight.

Anytime.

So, uh, here it is. My humble abode.

So let me give you the tour.

Okay.

What we have here is a

278-square-foot, open concept.

Um, on your right,

you'll find a fully equipped

Uh, partially equipped

An equipped music studio.

On your left,

you will find a breakfast nook,

contemplation corner, dressing room.

And, uh, straight ahead,

the piece de resistance:

the classic and covetable IKEA bed.

Uh-huh. Okay.

I just have one question.

Is this a classic, no

frills, spring mattress?

Because memory foam

is totally overrated.

Wow.

Excellent taste. Indeed it is.

I love it.

It's very sexy in here.

Oh, well

pump the brakes!

I'm I'm glad you think so.

I was a little worried that

this might be a turn-off.

Well, it's actually kind of a turn-on.

You know, reminds me of when I used to

sneak into my boyfriend's

dorm in college.

Okay, it's a little bit of a red

flag for me, but I can work with that.

- Oh, wait.

- Hm-hmm?

Should we put a sock on the door?

No, it's not necessary.

And someone would steal it anyway.

I feel like you're

upset about something.

Will you please tell me what's wrong?

That woman, Beth, was sort of an issue

in my relationship with Lucia.

She was always hanging

around, flirting with her.

And Lucia would tell

me I'm imagining things.

Swore there was nothing going on.

And now,

clearly, they're dating.

That doesn't mean that there

was something going on then.

The point is, she made me feel foolish

for being jealous of someone

she would never even,

quote, "consider" dating.

It's so obvious she

wanted you to bring me

to make me jealous.

- Are you?

- No!

I'm annoyed that Lucia's

always playing games.

Like she is with you and your

women's center, by the way.

Are you playing games

with me and Gillian?

Gillian? Is that what you think?

I really don't know what to think.

You said you'd let me know

if you weren't okay with me being poly,

and then, you announce that

you're dating other people.

We're not exclusive.

That's what you want, right? Eventually?

A monogamous relationship, right?

So should I feel like I'm

in some sort of competition?

That is not my intention.

I

Where is this coming

from all of a sudden?

I guess

maybe it's coming from the fact

that I wish you could

be less hung up on Lucia

and more supportive of

me and the women's center.

How am I not being supportive of you?

By wanting to leave 30

minutes after we got there.

And then, assuming there's

some sort of catch with Lucia.

She's finally on board!

Can you just celebrate that

win with me for a moment?

I don't understand

what's happening here.

Neither do I.

Look,

I'm gonna sleep at my place tonight.

I need some space.

Whatever you feel like you need to do.

Okay.

Hey, um, what are you doing here?

Oh, I'm, uh, I'm just

here with my friend, Nicki.

- Uh, Nicki, Malika.

- Hey.

What is happening?

The city posted these sweep notices

around the encampment where I live.

They're trying to make everyone leave.

Where are we supposed to go?

Wait, where is this encampment?

It's, uh, the lot on 3rd and Temple.

And I think I have just the location

right here in our district for it.

- Great! Where?

- 3rd and Temple.

- It's empty, city-owned.

- Sounds perfect.

I don't think we're gonna have a problem

getting the council to fund it now.

So, you need me to, uh, break the tie?

- Yes.

- We all agreed.

To be clear, this is

just a one-time thing.

Of course. I, um, understand.

Just pick whoever you

think is the best DIC.

D-I-C. Delegator In Chief.

Yes!

Congratulations. You're the DIC.

Maybe we could, uh, change

the name of the position.

It's, uh not so funny anymore.

Eh, it's still a little funny.

Okay.

I should get back to Speckulate.

Evan, you're obviously mad at me.

Why do you think I'm mad at you?

Because you didn't vote for me!

Actually, I did vote for you.

Really?

Oh, Gina. So wishy-washy.

For what it's worth, I think

Gina made the right

choice voting for Claire.

What?

You don't like to not be in control.

But, honestly,

your talents would've

been wasted as the DIC.

Dealing with the minutia

and the bureaucratic issues

that come with running a company

isn't your strong suit.

Trust me, it isn't much fun either.

And now, with Claire in charge,

you know, you're left

to do what you do best,

which is the creative

side of the business.

You know, coming up with new ideas.

And no one pitches and

charms clients like you do.

Sometimes, the best way to

lead is to learn how to follow.

Well

if you really feel like that, then

why did you vote for me?

Because I always want

you to have what you want.

- Evan

- I'm not mad at you, Mariana.

It's just time for us to move on.

And move forward.

Your focus now needs to

be on growing the company

and buying me out as soon as possible.

Right?

Right.

Really

congratulations, Claire.

You are the person for the job.

Just let me know

whatever you need me to do.

Also, I think we should call your

position Chief Delegation Officer.

I think we all can agree that

the last thing that we need

is another DIC around here.

Okay, well, um, can we look

at these product images?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Cool.

Come on over here!

So what did Ryan think of your loft?

All right, so not going down, okay.

One time, come on.

Oh!

Hi.

Uh I, um think

I clogged the toilet.

- This is so embarrassing.

- No, don't

Don't worry about it.

That's the problem toilet.

Uh stand back.

Oh! Um, oh, my God!

I I never had anyone

plunge a toilet for me.

It's just number one, if

that's any consolation.

Some.

I can't thank you enough.

I am I I really don't

want to make a bad impression.

First night staying at the boyfriend's,

and I clogged the toilet.

Um, you are a lifesaver.

- Thanks again.

- Sure.

Yeah. Good night.

How did you know that Ryan was here?

Oh, I ran into her in the bathroom.

Well, she seemed to like my loft.

That's good.

Thank you for encouraging

me to invite her over here.

Well, happy to be of service!

But you should probably

teach your grown-up girlfriend

how to plunge a toilet.

Did you just slam the door?

It slammed itself.

Strong draft.

- Proud of you.

- Thanks.

You gotta pay to beg on my street.