01x04 - The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya". Aired: September 26, 2005 – September 26, 2013.*
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Follows Haruhi an eccentric schoolgirl who is only interested in the paranormal.
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01x04 - The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya

Post by bunniefuu »

Are you all right?

Do you want to go to the nurse's office?

Good morning.

She seems to be feeling unwell.

Take care of her.

Why didn't you show up yesterday?

Weren't we going to review our behavior on Saturday?

You sure are annoying.

I did the reviewing by myself.

Upon asking...

...I learned that after school yesterday...

...Haruhi had gone back over the course her team had taken.

It's hot. I'm exhausted.

When do we change uniforms?

I want to change into the summer uniform as soon as possible.

Suzumiya...

I've probably said this already...

...but how about you give up on looking for mysterious things you're not going to find...

...and try having fun the way a normal high schooler does?

How does a normal high schooler have fun?

Find some nice guy...

...and do your city searching with him.

You could even call it a date.

k*ll two birds with one stone.

Men are worthless.

Feelings of love are just a temporary lapse in judgment.

Like a kind of mental illness.

Even I...

...get in the mood for that stuff every now and then.

I am a healthy young girl, after all.

My body has its urges.

But you know...

I'm not stupid enough to let a moment's slip-up leave me saddled with a huge burden.

Besides, if I start shopping around for guys...

...what will happen to the SOS Brigade?

I've only just made it.

You could turn it into some random club that just has fun.

You'll get people to join that way.

No way!

I made the SOS Brigade because that kind of club is no fun!

I even recruited an alluring mascot and a mysterious transfer student.

Why doesn't anything happen!?

I wonder if some kind of full-blown trouble will happen...

Don't say such dangerous things!

But that's true.

If something happened to make everyday life more interesting...

...that could be quite wonderful.

It's the first time I've seen Haruhi look so defeated...

...but her crestfallen face was surprisingly cute.

Perhaps Suzumiya-san is feeling lovesick?

Definitely not.

Suzumiya isn't going to suddenly fall in love...

...and her full-blown trouble isn't going to happen...

At least not any time soon, in this world...

But the full-blown trouble part...

...had already begun brewing in the shadows.

As I talked to Haruhi that morning...

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya IV

...I had another issue on my mind.

After school when everyone's gone

Come to classroom -

After school when everyone's gone

Come to classroom -

After school when everyone's gone

Come to classroom -

After school when everyone's gone

Something like this has happened before.

Yo.

PM Waiting in the park in front of Kouyou Station

PM Waiting in the park in front of Kouyou Station

the park in front of Kouyou Station

PM Waiting in the park in front of Kouyou Station

the park in front of Kouyou Station

But...

...the handwriting obviously isn't Nagato's.

And she probably wouldn't use such a direct method...

...as placing a message in my shoe locker.

Could it be Asahina-san?

I doubt that.

I can't see her using some ripped out scrap of paper to call me out without setting a specific time.

It's so hot!

Haruhi?

Even less likely.

She'd just drag me up the stairs to talk again like that other time.

Koizumi's out for similar reasons.

I'd like an air conditioner in this room!

I really doubt that this is a love letter...

...but it's certain that this document is requesting my presence.

Or no.

It could just be Taniguchi or Kunikida pulling a prank on me.

Indeed.

That's the most feasible possiblity.

But if that was the case...

...I would expect something more elaborate...

Wait!

What is that!?

What? They're pictures.

Knockout pictures of Mikuru-chan.

I can see that!

What are you doing with those!?

I'm putting them on the top page of our site!

This will bring in lots of e-mails about strange happenings.

And our access counter will jump...

...up to five digits in a flash!

I wonder if the counter can support that many digits.

Hey.

Wait!

What are you doing, stupid Kyon!?

Stop acting like an idiot.

If Asahina-san found out that unbecoming pictures of her maid costume...

...in knockout poses...

...have been spread around the world...

...she'll definitely faint on the spot.

Oddly enough, Haruhi quietly stared at me...

...as I fervently lectured her...

...but it's unknown if she understood what I meant by the dangers of putting personal information...

...that may reveal your identity on the Internet.

I got it.

Recycle Bin

Recycl

Open

sExplore

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She sullenly consented to delete them.

Open

Explore

Explore

Recycle Bin

In this case, I probably should have deleted all the pictures...

...but that would be a bit of a waste.

Properties

Explore

Recycle Bin
Shortcut

Properties

Recycle Bin

Open

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Recycle Bin

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Open

Recycle Bin

Explore

Recycle Bin

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Recycle Bin

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Recycle Bin

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Recycle Bin

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Now!

I'm going home for today.

Sorry!

What happened?

Nothing at all.

An evil plot was thwarted.

Having nothing to do...

...I was playing Othello with Asahina-san...

...when Koizumi showed up.

With his usual smile.

I have to go to work.

I'll be excusing myself now.

And what kind of work would that be?

I'm going to change...

...so you can go home first.

And so I took Asahina-san up on her offer...

...and hightailed it out of the clubroom.

When I saw the person standing there...

...I was considerably surprised.

Why don't you come in?

It's you, huh?

Yes.

Didn't expect me, did you?

What do you want with me?

There is something I need you for...

But I want to ask you something.

It's about Suzumiya-san.

What do you think about her?

Oh, boy.

Another Suzumiya fan, huh?

You know...

Humans always say, "It's better to regret something you did than to regret something you didn't do."

What's your opinion on that?

I don't know about it being a common saying...

...but it probably means what it says.

Then...

Speaking theoretically...

If there were a situation where maintaining the status quo would only make things worse...

...but nobody knew what course of action would improve circumstances...

...what would you do?

What's that?

Are you talking about the Japanese economy?

Wouldn't you think that change, any change at all, would be best for now?

Nothing will improve the way things currently are.

Well, I guess that's one way to look at it.

Right?

But you know...

...the higher-ups are all stick-in-the-muds who can't keep up with change.

But I can't afford such complacency out in the field.

A lack of action would only allow the situation to grow worse.

In that case, it should be okay for me to use my own judgment to assert changes, right?

What is she trying to say?

Is this a prank?

Is Taniguchi hiding in the broom closet or something?

I've grown quite tired...

...of observing a static subject.

That's why...

...I'll k*ll you and see how Haruhi Suzumiya responds.

Wait, wait, what?

What is this?

No, wait.

What's going on here?

Why is Asakura trying to s*ab me with a Kn*fe?

Hold on a sec.

What did Asakura say?

k*ll me?

Why? For what reason?

Stop joking around!

That's really dangerous!

A fake would be enough to scare anyone!

You think that this is a joke?

You don't want to die?

You don't want to be k*lled?

I don't really understand the concept of death for organic life forms.

I don't get it! It's not funny!

Just put that dangerous thing down!

That's impossible.

Because I truly want you to die.

It's no use.

This space is now under my data jurisdiction.

No one can leave or enter.

I have no idea what's going on anymore.

If somebody does, come here!

And explain this to me!

Say, just give up.

The result will be the same in the end.

Who are you?

It's no use.

Didn't I tell you?

Right now everything in this classroom moves according to my will.

Wait! Wait! Wait!

What is this?

k*ll me and see how Haruhi Suzumiya responds?

Haruhi again?

You sure are popular Haruhi!

And wait.

Why does that mean I have to die?

I should have done this to start with.

My body won't move.

You can do that?

I cry foul play!

If you die...

...Suzumiya-san is certain to take some sort of action.

I'll probably be able to observe a considerable expl*si*n of data.

A golden opportunity.

I don't care.

Now die.

That hurt, damn it!

Wait.

Huh?

I can move now.

Nagato?

Your individual programs were too weak.

The spatial lockdown and data blockade in lateral sectors were too weak.

That is why I could detect you.

Why intrusion was granted.

You're going to get in my way?

If this human is k*lled...

...Haruhi Suzumiya is certain to act.

That's the only way to obtain more data.

You are supposed to be my backup.

Independent action has not been authorized.

You are supposed to obey me.

If I don't want to?

I will nullify your data link.

Go ahead and try?

I have the advantage in this place.

This classroom is now within space under my data jurisdiction.

I am requisitioning the nullification of your data link.

That was when...

...I thought, "Ah, they really aren't human."

Stay close.

Nagato

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Nagato

You can't defeat me while we're in this space.

Personal name: Ryoko Asakura. Judged to be hostile.

Nullifying concerned target's connection to organic life form.

You'll cease functioning before that happens.

What are you—

I wonder how long you can last while protecting that thing.

Nagato!

There is no need for you to move.

I am fine.

No...

You don't look fine at all!

Now that you've suffered so much damage...

...you won't be able to interfere with other data.

Then I'll end this.

Die.

Finished.

What is?

The three years of your brief life?

No.

Commence nullification of data link.

Impossible...

You are exceptionally skilled.

That is why it took so long to force a program into this space.

But it is finished now.

You prepared dissolution factors before you infiltrated this space.

That would explain why you seemed too weak.

You had already expended your offensive data before we began.

What a pity.

I suppose I was only ever backup.

I thought it would be a good chance to end this stasis.

I've lost.

Lucky you.

You get to live a while longer.

But you'd best be careful.

As you can see...

...the Integration Thought Entity has its dissenting voices.

Another agent from the radical faction may come one day.

Or, Nagato-san's master may switch views.

Enjoy your time with Suzumiya-san until then.

Bye.

Hey, Nagato!

Hang in there!

I'll call an ambulance!

No need.

My body did not suffer significant injury.

This space is what must be normalized first.

I will remove foreign substances and reconstruct the classroom.

Are you really okay?

Processing power was redirected to data manipulation and transformation.

The regeneration of this interface was placed in queue.

It's running now.

What's wrong?

I forgot to reconstruct glasses.

I'd say you look cuter without them.

And I'm not really a glasses man.

What is a glasses man?

Nothing!

I'm just babbling.

I see.

'Sup.

For-For-For-Forgot my...

Father.

If you look at this still-frame...

...my position would suggest that I'm actually trying to push her down.

My bad.

Enjoy yourselves!

An interesting person.

What do we do?

Leave it to me.

I specialize in data manipulation.

I have made it so Ryoko Asakura has transferred out of this school.

That's your concern?

Or this isn't the time for that.

Now that I stop and think about it...

...I just went through an incredible experience, didn't I?

That winding freak talk of Nagato's the other day...

This is no longer about whether or not I believe that delusional story.

I was about ready to piss my pants during the incident just now.

I was seriously about to die.

Doesn't this mean that I have no choice but to accept that...

...Nagato is genuinely related to aliens or whatever?

Ryoko Asakura didn't show up for class the next day.

This concerns Asakura-kun.

Due to her father's work...

...I also find this rather sudden...

...she has transferred to another school.

What!?

Kyon!

Something's up here!

Haruhi Suzumiya, who had completely bounced back...

...looked at me with shining eyes.

What do I do?

Tell her the truth?

Like hell I can.

Not like I even want to.

I would prefer to think that it was all a hallucination.

First a mysterious transfer student came...

...now we have a girl transferring out for no explicable reason.

This matter needs some investigation.

I'd like it if you didn't give me more work to do.

I've already got enough problems...

...without you adding on to them.

What's that?

Nothing.

The other matter on my mind...

...was another envelope just like yesterday...

...in my shoe locker.

What's up with that?

Is putting letters in shoe lockers the current fad?

But today's is considerably different.

Mikuru Asahina

I'll be waiting in the clubroom

during lunch.

Mikuru

I briskly went on my way...

...hoping to be spared another life-threatening experience.

However, I have no choice but to go.

The person who sent this is none other than Asahina-san.

While I had no evidence to prove that this letter was actually from Asahina-san...

...I didn't doubt its origins for a second.

She seems just like the kind of person to use such a roundabout method...

...and the image of her cheerfully writing on a sheet of cute stationery...

...fits her perfectly, right?

And Nagato's also in the clubroom during lunch.

Well, it'll work out.

Come in!

Kyon-kun!

It's been so long.

She looks just like Asahina-san.

But it wasn't Asahina-san.

Uh...

Are you Asahina-san's sister?

It's me.

The real Mikuru Asahina.

But I'm from a later future than the me you're familiar with.

I've missed you...

You don't believe me, do you?

I'll prove it to you.

Look.

I have a star-shaped mole here.

It isn't fake.

Want to touch it to make sure?

Super size me!

Do you believe me now?

That's not the issue here.

I don't know where Asahina-san has moles on her body.

The only times I've seen that much of her skin...

...would be when she was dressed up as a bunny girl...

...and when I accidentally walked in on her changing.

In either case, I didn't have enough time to make any detailed observations.

Huh?

But weren't you the one who told me I had a mole here, Kyon-kun?

I didn't even notice it myself.

Oh, no.

It's still...

Oh, I see.

It hasn't happened yet...

What do I do!?

I've made a huge mistake!

I'm so sorry!

Please forget what I just said!

Easier said than done.

I understand.

I'll believe you for now.

I've become a person who's ready to believe anything at this point...

Huh?

Does that mean there are two Asahina-sans in this period right now?

Yes.

The past me...

...past from my point of view...

...is currently having lunch with classmates in the classroom.

I needed to tell you something...

...so I made some unreasonable requests in order to return to this time.

I asked Nagato-san to leave us alone.

Do you know about Nagato?

Sorry.

That's classified information.

I haven't gotten to say that in a long time.

I just heard it a few days ago.

I can't stay in this time very long.

So I'll be brief.

Do you know what Snow White is?

Well, yeah...

When you find yourself in a harrowing situation...

...please remember those words.

You mean the story with seven dwarfs, a witch, and a poisoned apple?

Yes.

Remember the story of Snow White.

I was just in a harrowing situation yesterday...

That's not what I'm talking about...

It'll happen...

Let's see...

I can't tell you any specifics...

...but Suzumiya-san should be with you when it happens.

Haruhi and me?

When? Where!?

Suzumiya-san...

...may not find anything wrong with the situation...

...but for you...

...and for the rest of us, it will be a significant problem.

I suppose that you can't...

...give me any more details, can you?

I'm sorry.

Still, just think of it as a hint.

This is all I can do.

And that would be Snow White?

Yes.

I'll remember that.

I can't believe I was able to wear this.

I wouldn't be able to do it now.

What other costumes did Haruhi make you wear?

Secret.

It's embarrassing.

Besides, you'll find out soon enough.

Then I'll be going now.

One last thing.

Don't get too close to me.

Please tell me one thing!

Asahina-san.

How old are you right now?

Classified information.

Her smile was so brilliant that...

...any person would fall in love.

It's been so long.

So basically...

...the Asahina-san in high school right now...

...will return to her own time before long.

I wonder how much time passed for her.

Based on her appearance, I'd say five years...

No, three years?

Girls go through some dramatic changes once they're out of high school.

I'm pretty hungry.

Guess I'll go back to the classroom.

Oh, boy.

Yo.

Did you see someone that looked a lot like Asahina-san on your way here?

Mikuru Asahina's time-divergent variant.

I met her in the morning.

Could it be that...

...you can also travel through time?

And that data whatever entity, too.

I cannot.

But time travel is not very difficult.

Maybe you can tell me how it's done.

Words would be insufficient for conveying the concept...

...and you would not understand.

Oh, really.

Yes.

Guess that's settled.

Settled.

Nagato.

Thanks for yesterday.

There is no need to thank me.

Ryoko Asakura's abnormal behavior was my responsibility.

My incompetence.

You really do look better without glasses.

Where did you go!?

I waited to eat since I thought you'd be back soon!

Could you say that again, except like a childhood friend pretending to be angry to hide her embarrassment?

Stop sounding like an idiot!

Come with me!

I asked Okabe in the faculty office just now.

Nobody knew about Asakura transferring until this morning!

First thing this morning, a person claiming to be Asakura's father called...

...and said they had to move all of a sudden.

And guess where to?

Canada! Canada!

Does that even make sense?

It sounds so made-up!

Really?

Then I asked for her contact information in Canada.

And guess what happened?

They didn't even have that information!

You would normally leave your new contact information, right?

Something has to be up here!

How about no!

Since I was there I asked for Asakura's old address.

We'll go check it out after school.

We might learn something!

As always, she doesn't listen to anyone else.

Well, I'm not going to bother stopping her.

She's the one wasting effort, not me.

You're coming with me!

Why!?

And you call yourself a member of the SOS Brigade!?

SOS BRIGADE

SELF-ACTIVITY DAY

HARUHI
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