02x14 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Five

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya". Aired: September 26, 2005 – September 26, 2013.
Follows Haruhi an eccentric schoolgirl who is only interested in the paranormal.
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02x14 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Five

Post by bunniefuu »

I do.

Nagato led us to the back
of her apartment building.

Oh, they all seem
used to people.

Black cat, black cat...

Oh well.
Let's use this one.

And she's changed
the set up again.

It's not black, but I guess
we don't have a choice.

Okay, Yuki!
This is your partner!

Be good friends!

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya V

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya V
And so we started
filming again.

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya V
It looks like it doesn't matter
where we sh**t.

It looks like it doesn't matter
where we sh**t.

Yuki! att*ck Mikuru!

Take this...

Okay, cut!

We'll make
that cat talk!

He's a witch's cat,
after all.

So he should at least make one
or two snide remarks, right?

How absurd.

Your name is Shamisen! Come on,
Shamisen, say something!

There's no way he'd talk.
Actually, please don't talk.

Wait, "Shamisen"!?

Hmm, pretty good.

Kyon, I'm going to leave
that cat's care to you.

Take him home
with you.

You have until tomorrow to
teach him a trick or two.

Like jumping through
a ring of f*re!

Okay, we're done
for today!

Tomorrow we'll be sh**ting
the climax!

The filming's going smoothly!
Everyone's healthy!

Rest well, everyone!
And prepare yourselves for tomorrow!

Good work. I'll buy you
a can of cat food in a bit.

Or would you prefer
dried sardines?

I'm okay with either.

Hey now, was that you, Nagato?
I was asking the cat.

That was my intention.
That's why I answered.

Did I say
something wrong?

What a surprise. He's a calico
and he's male.

No, that's not why you
should be surprised.

What a surprise.

For a cat to speak...

I don't understand why
you're all surprised.

He's a bakeneko, or some kind
of nekomata.

It's true that the sounds
that are coming from me

might sound like
human words to you.

If that's the case, then why
are you trying to confirm

that I said what
it sounds like I said?

Well, you know. It's because you're
actually answering my questions.

But it might just be that
the sounds that I'm making

just happen to mesh with what
you're saying, right?

If that's the case, then that wouldn't
make it a conversation,

even if it were between
two humans.


Even if two people are acting like
they're talking to one another,

no one can be sure if they're properly
expressing how they feel.

Many people do say one thing even if
they feel another way, after all.

Shut up, you.

Now that you mention it,
that's true...

I'm sorry, but could you
please be quiet, too?

The situation
is pretty bad.

We've underestimated
Miss Suzumiya yet again.

Umm... what do
you mean?

There's a chance that the setting
of Miss Suzumiya's movie

will become the everyday reality
of the world.

If she thinks to herself, "I'd like to sh**t
a scene of a giant meteor impact,"

then it might
become reality.

Then what can
we do?

We have to prevent the erosion
of our reality by her imagination.

Right now, she's unconsciously
mixing up reality and fiction.

She is getting pretty
carried away.

Miss Suzumiya's unusual
abilities are coming out

through the filter
of her movie making.

To prevent this, we need to make
Miss Suzumiya understand

that this is simply fiction, and logically
guide this film into something more s*ab.

And how are we supposed
to rationalize a talking cat?

I'm not talking about
rationalizing things.

If we did, we'd end up with a
world setting where cats talk.

But that's not possible
in our world.

Well, what about
you guys?

Well, it's true that we exist
thanks to Miss Suzumiya.

The same as that
talking cat.

Can't we do something
about this?

If this were a fantasy world, then
we wouldn't need any explanations.

But the moment we show proof of
a talking cat or a Mikuru Beam,

then our world
will change.

The world will have to change from one
where there are no supernatural phenomena

to one that is
aware of them.

Okay, then what
do we do?

We just have to put an ending on the
movie that Miss Suzumiya will accept.

Does that even exist?

It does.

It's an incredibly simple ending that
can take any events that make no sense

and make them all reasonable
in a second.

Spit it out.

"It was all a dream."

I wasn't joking.

Do you think you'll be able to
convince Haruhi to do that?

It might be difficult.

But in this case, mentioning that
everything in the movie is a dream,

a lie, or a misunderstanding
is the best way to resolve it all.

That's probably true
for you...

I might think that's the best way, too.
But what about Haruhi?

Okay, don't say a single word
in the house.

Act like a cat,
got it?

I don't know what "like a cat" means,
but I'll do as you ask.

Don't talk. Make all
of your answers "meow".


Cat cat cat!


There we go.

All right,
see you later.

As you wish.

Only a few days remained
until the school festival.

It felt as if a chaotic atmosphere
was steadily spreading

throughout the school, connecting
everyone to Haruhi's excitement.

We have to find the legendary
Crystal Crescent Orb, and quickly!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

It's like it wouldn't
be strange at all

if a couple people from another world
got mixed up in all of this.


Mikuru says she has something
she wants to talk to you about!

Go on, Mikuru,
give that to him!

Oh, this... umm...
it's a c-c-coupon!

Yakisoba Cafe Acorn
Discount coupon
Oh, this... umm...
it's a c-c-coupon!

It's for the yakisoba cafe
our class is doing!

Thank you very much.

Please bring some friends
with you.

That's all!
See ya!

- Kyon...
- What's up?

Well, if I say this, it will look like
Koizumi is one of those...

And... I don't like it, but...


I, you see... I have a different
way of thinking...

In other words... it's a different
interpretation from Koizumi's.

Are you talking about the whole
"Haruhi is God" thing?

There's no mistaking that Miss Suzumiya
has the power to change the present.

But I don't think it's the power
to change how the world works.

The world has always
been like this.

I see... this is completely opposite
of what Koizumi says.

I think that Miss Nagato
probably thinks differently, too.

Umm... this might give you a
bad impression of him, but...

If I said... you shouldn't trust Koizumi...
it might be misleading, but...

Umm, I'm sorry... I'm no good
at explaining things,

and I'm under certain restrictions,
so I... But l...!

I understand. There's no way
Haruhi could be God.

Your explanation is easier to understand
than Koizumi's, Miss Asahina.

Thank you...

But please understand. I don't have
anything against Koizumi himself.


Literature Club

This is what is believed to be
Mikuru Asahina's assertions.

Haruhi Suzumiya is not the
one who created the world,

but that this world has
always been this way.

Psychic powers
and time travel,

extraterrestrial life forms and other
supernatural beings have always existed.

Haruhi Suzumiya's role is to
unconsciously discover them,

and that this ability manifested
three years ago.

However, while she can find the unusual,
she can never realize it.

Because there exists something to interfere
with her making those realizations.

And that is us.

So Miss Asahina has a different
reason from Koizumi

for not wanting Haruhi to discover
anything mysterious?

Yes. She came to this era to protect
the future that she is from.

It almost feels like she's revealing
vital information like it's no big deal.

Itsuki Koizumi and Mikuru Asahina will never
agree with each other's interpretations.

To them, the other's theory can only serve
to disrupt the basis of their own existence.

Hold on. Koizumi said that he didn't have
his esper powers until three years ago.

There is no proof anywhere that
what Itsuki Koizumi says is true.

It's true.
There's no proof...

Koizumi's theory just attaches
an acceptable explanation

to some events that
have involved me.

Who knows
if that's correct?

And Miss Asahina's theory
is the same.

Who can guarantee that the
Asahina version is correct?

What do you think?
Which one is right?

What about the possibility of autonomous
self-determination you mentioned?

No matter which truth
I present,

there is no way for you
to obtain any proof.

Why not!?

Because there is no proof anywhere
that I'm speaking the truth.

Not to you...

I don't know.
Who would, normally?

Koizumi, Nagato, please give me an
easier to understand explanation.

- I won't give you the orb!
- Come back here!
Koizumi, Nagato, please give me an
easier to understand explanation.

The only one who thought the filming
was going well was Haruhi.

Because of this, the grim looks
on the faces of Koizumi,

Miss Asahina and myself had
awfully dark shadows.

At some point, the model g*n
started f*ring

water-hammer rounds
instead of BBs.

Haruhi brought Miss Asahina contacts
of other different colors,

and she started f*ring off
other dangerous things.

And every time, she was
bitten by Nagato.

Just as the cherry trees
were starting to blossom,

a few days later
they had all fallen off.

The white pigeons
at the shrine

had turned into passenger pigeons,
which have long since been extinct.

And it looks like the progression
of the seasons is a little bit off.

The current highs for Nikkei futures
have risen to 9360 yen,

with a low of around 9250...
Kyon, your friend's here!


The details and foreshadowing
don't matter to Miss Suzumiya.

She probably hasn't thought
of an ending, either.

It might end incomplete.

That would be
a problem, right?

Our theory is that it would be problematic
if the world became more like fiction.

To tell the truth, my agency
and Miss Asahina's group

aren't the only ones whose theories
center around Miss Suzumiya.

There are a lot
of them.

There have been enough conflicts
and bloody exterminations

for me to want to explain
it all in digest format.

Alliances and betrayals,
interference and sneak att*cks,

destruction and
mass m*rder.

Each group has brought forth all of their
strength in an attempt to survive.

Well, this has nothing to do with you.
Or Miss Suzumiya.

And I would prefer that Miss Suzumiya
never found out about any of this.

I don't want to do anything
that will cloud her mind.

My criterion is that Miss Suzumiya has
a character that should be loved.

Oh, you do too,
of course.

Why are you
telling me this?

I just blurted it out.
There's no reason.

After all,
it's just nonsense.

That's true.
It's not amusing at all.

There's one more bit
of nonsense.

Have you ever wondered why
Miss Asahina has joined us?

Her job is to get you
on her side.

The only one that can get Miss Suzumiya
to listen to them at all is you, after all.

Being able to get a grip
on you would be perfect.

Her young appearance,

her submissively obeying Miss Suzumiya's
unreasonable demands,

and her pitiful demeanor.

It's all to get you
to focus on her.

I'm tired of you
and your jokes.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It looks like I lack the ability
to keep a joke going.

I'm lying. Did you
take that seriously?

Between Miss Suzumiya's movie
and my class's play,

I'm under a lot
of pressure.

If a closed space opened up
in addition to all that,

I'm pretty sure that
I would collapse.

Which is why I came to
make a request of you.

Please, can you do something
to stop Miss Suzumiya's movie

from being the source of all
of the strange phenomena?

Make Haruhi realize that her movie
is nothing but nonsense?

Was that it?

As long as she clearly
understands that.

And if possible,
before we finish filming.

I'm counting on you.

What the heck
is up with him?

Did he come just to push the
responsibility onto me?

But still...

I guess I can't just
let it be.

God, this is annoying.

A movie is a movie,
and reality is reality.

They're two different things.

That's so obvious, so why in the world
do I have to convince her of that?

Koizumi said to make it "all just
a dream," but what else is there...

The next day, I went to Haruhi
with a single suggestion,

and after a lot of discussion,
I got her to understand.

Okay, then!

Good work, everyone!
With this, we're finished filming!

You all did your best!

Let's meet up in the clubroom
first thing tomorrow morning

and preview the movie!

Mikuru, it's too soon
to cry!

Save those tears for when you
get a Palme d'Or or an Oscar!

Let's all be happy together!

Mikuru and Yuki's last battle suddenly
awakens Itsuki Koizumi's powers

and this hard to understand,
deus ex machina power

knocks Yuki to the far reaches
of the universe.

With this, the curtain closes on our story.
Wait, it's closing!?

So it's finally over.

Okay, Mikuru, come here!
You know, it feels like it all
ended in an instant.

Miss Suzumiya, aren't we done?
You know, it feels like it all
ended in an instant.

Miss Suzumiya, aren't we done?
They say time flies
when you're having fun...

They say time flies
when you're having fun...

Though I wonder who was
the one having fun here.

Who knows?

Can I leave the rest
to you?

My head is packed with the things
I need for my class's play.

Unlike a movie, I don't get a retake
if I mess up a line.

Oh, one more thing.

We're grateful to you. Both the
agency, and me personally.

Okay, shout it loud!

We're aiming for a
Hollywood blockbuster!

We'll get the golden bear
and the golden lion awards!

That's it! Now, Mikuru,
point at the future!

Oh brother.

To be honest, up until the end I didn't
have a pixel's worth of understanding

of what Haruhi
was trying to film.

It's probably obvious, but no
matter where we searched,

we didn't have the time to put in the visual
effects, or the technology for that matter.

And so Haruhi complained.

We can't show off
an unfinished film like this!

Do something about it!

The school festival is tomorrow.
I'm at my limit.

If you stay up all night,
you'll make it, right?

You can just stay
here overnight.

And I'll help, too.

They'll know that those are BBs!
In the end, Haruhi was
of no help whatsoever.

In the end, Haruhi was
of no help whatsoever.

To be fair,
I fell asleep, too.

Kyon! Hey, wake up!

So, how did it
turn out?

There was no point to staying overnight.
The movie is still unfinished.

...from the future!

It's not bad. It's not quite all there,
but for you, it's pretty good.

It wasn't me.
Someone else did it.

Best odds, Nagato. Next best, Koizumi.
Miss Asahina, unlikely.

And the long sh*t would be someone
who has yet to appear.

Mikuru, you have to fight back!
And the long sh*t would be someone
who has yet to appear.

Good morning.
How did it turn out?

Good morning...

Good morning!
It's done, of course!

Our feature-length spectacle built on
our blood, sweat, and tears!

Oh, is that so?

That's wonderful.

Let's all watch it together!

Audio/Visual Room

Audio/Visual Room
Mikuru, you were great!

You'll completely capture the hearts
of the whole audience with this!

It's perfect, Mikuru!

The school festival started, and there
was nothing more for me to do.

The changes to reality that we feared
seemed to come to a stop.

I knew this when Shamisen
stopped talking.

Speaking of stopping, I stopped seeing
those strangely dressed guys

that I had seen a lot in the days
before the school festival.

There weren't any plays in the festival
that they might have been in,

so I wonder who
they were.

North High Fest

Screening in progress

Screening in progress
The movie ended with Haruhi
doing some narration.

The movie ended with Haruhi
doing some narration.

I convinced her to close the movie
with a director's speech

This story is fictional.
I convinced her to close the movie
with a director's speech

This story is fictional.
By telling her it was important to
mention that it was all in fun.

Characters, organizations,
by telling her it was important to
mention that it was all in fun.

Characters, organizations,
Those were the magic words that
canceled out everything.

...other proper names,
and events are not real.
Those were the magic words that
canceled out everything.

As well as all other proper names,
and events are not real.

It's all a lie.

Even if there's a resemblance,
it's coincidence.

Oh, not the ads.

Support Ohmori Electronics and
Yamatsuchi Model Shop. Buy lots.

Say it again?

This story is fictional.

Characters, organizations,

Hey, Kyon, why do I
have to say that?

Kitaguchi Station-front Park

If there's one thing that bothers Haruhi
in spite of her devil-may-care attitude,

it's that "the world is the
world is too normal".

As for what she considers to be "not
normal", it would be the supernatural.

She expresses this
by saying things like,

"Why haven't I seen even a single ghost?
What's up with that?"

I've got something important to
tell you, so listen closely.

What is it?

You want there to be aliens,
future people,

and people with
esper powers, right?

Well, yeah.
What about it?

There actually are aliens,
future people, and espers,

closer than you could
ever imagine.

Really, and who
would they be?

Don't tell me that you mean
Yuki or Mikuru or Koizumi.

They wouldn't count as
"closer than I could imagine."

Umm, actually... That was
what I was going to say.

Are you stupid? There's no way
it would be that easy.

Well, if you think about it,
that's true.

Okay, so who's what?

Listen and rejoice.
Yuki Nagato is an alien.

The Information
something-or-other Entity?

She's an agent for
something like that.

Oh yeah! Humanoid interface!
That's what it was!

What about Mikuru?

Miss Asahina is pretty simple to explain.
She's a future person.

She came from the future,
so she's a future person.

How far in the future
did she come from?

I don't know.
She wouldn't tell me.

Aha, I get it.

So you understand now?

Which means that Koizumi is an esper?
That's what you're going to say, right?

Yes! That's exactly what
I was going to say!

Don't screw around
with me!

Why is this crazy woman so realistic
about the weirdest things?

If she would just believe me,
everything would be so much easier.

T-Thank you very much!

Then again, if Haruhi just knew about
all of the phenomena around her,

I don't know what would
happen to the world.

Oh brother.
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