03x02 - The Smurf Fire Brigade/The Winged Wizard

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Smurfs". Aired: April 18, 2021 - present.*
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03x02 - The Smurf Fire Brigade/The Winged Wizard

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

oh

oh hi there beta is it hot enough for

you

summer heat burns your feet by poet's

smurf

fry the egg on the right of amazing

well now this makes 408 in just 17

minutes most interesting

most interesting

that makes seven thousand two hundred

seven since this morning i predict a

good year of very good

[Music]

it's a masterpiece of modern engineering

a masterpiece why if it weren't for this

blasted heat this would be child's play

you this wretched heat ah but it's worth

it this is one scheme that'll take him

by surprise this is one scheme that will

not fail

think of it as real the destiny of the

smurfs is in my hands soon there'll be

no more

[Laughter]

amazing absolutely amazing

perhaps i'll just join dear lacy here in

a little nap

[Music]

it won't be long now

soon this damn will cut the flow of

water to the river smurf

then those rotten little beasts will run

out of water

and when they do they'll come up here

and when they do with their first little

tongues hanging out

i'll open the gate

and wash them all away

[Applause]

you know vanity the mind of smurf cannot

truly soar until we stamp out the

lethargy that infects our society i was

saying to papa smurf just the other day

that

it only takes a few more hours as we

head and this great work will be

completed

a monument to my diabolical cleverness

[Music]

fire

[Applause]

[Music]

my little smurfs what happened today is

an indication of our general

unpreparedness

just think what might have happened if

that fire had smurfed at night oh

just think what might have happened if

this had been some smurfs house

i want you all to know i am well aware

that what happened this afternoon was

all my fault oh

when i think what might have happened to

poor lazy i just shattered to imagine

the dire consequences that's what i love

about papa he's so so smurfy therefore i

want all of you to think very hard and

come up with a plan for fighting fire

the smurf with a spurfius plan gets an

extra smurfberry pudding every day for a

month

greedy sperm if this isn't the silliest

thing i have ever smurfed who ever heard

of a fire extinguisher that squirts

whipped cream i mean really greedy just

a quarter of an ounce of common sense

would tell you that this system is not

efficient the whole idea of using

whipped cream to smother a firewall

corrected principles

[Music]

you know harmony this is really a waste

of time i have some plans in mind that

make this contraption of yours seem

naive in the extreme yes as i was saying

to papa smurf just

[Music]

hello hello in there handy smurf it's me

brainy smurf i thought perhaps you might

wish to enlist my services no thank you

i don't think you understand you see i'm

offering you my insight into whatever it

is you're doing two minds are always

better than one and no thank you

hi brady what's going on what is going

on clumsy is that handy smurf is up to

something and foolishly excluding every

smurf from participation

i've offered to help but oh no he'd

rather work alone it has attitudes like

this that foster the kind of

divisiveness that no well-structured

smurf society can long tolerate and i

for one am going to tell hey brian

what's the vast mass

that is the silliest thing i have ever

seen jokey smurf a triumph of absurdity

over smurf sense if you for one moment

expect every smurf to put one of those

dumb boxes atop his roof you have

another think coming

how does it work anyway just pull that

little string

[Music]

i call it a rapid fire repeating

all-weather extinguisher all it takes is

first to fill the buckets spurs to

rotate the platform swerve to jump and a

smurf that's me

to gauge the distance watch this

[Music]

i know one smurf this ball will never be

dedicated to oh my gosh i'm sorry poet

who i really am i really am i told you

it would never work but oh no you had to

see for yourself this kind of obstinacy

must certainly

[Music]

it won't be long i feel

[Music]

whatever it is would have been completed

days ago but oh

no he declined my generosity

so here we are in the middle of the

night

[Music]

91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 999 100 and one

for the winner oh greeting i wonder who

it'll be every smurf says it'll be handy

i'm shocking it myself

[Music]

oh it's time for the announcement hurry

i'm coming

we want harry we want handy we want

candy we want handy we want whoa

wow

[Music]

the kitchen is on fire andy smurf how

does it work help me get into the well

hurry

[Music]

what's wrong i don't know it's empty

[Music]

i can't believe this the river is dry

what do we do

i know let's pull the engine up to the

dam good thinking smurfette let's go

oh it's dry

dry the river smurf is dry oh it's dry

right right

oh it's dry dry dry and no clouds up in

the sky there's barely enough for one

mode it will have to do hurry something

is very very wrong why is there no water

up river it works as real it works soon

those despicable little blue mice will

come trudging up here to see what is

wrong and it all goes well papa smurf

will be leading the way

[Laughter]

i did not understand this at all surely

there is a logical explanation a

landslide oh it's dry dry dry there's no

water in the sky

gargamel why aren't they back maybe they

had an accident

[Music]

so this is the cause of our sorrow

[Applause]

oh

[Music]

we're running out of water

[Music]

this is all your fault for a cursed cat

where are you

[Music]

hey

hurry

now we've got our vanity

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

your fire engine is a great success and

it is my pleasure to appoint you captain

of the first smurf fire every day

and furthermore not only will handy get

an extra helping of pudding for a whole

month but so will you all

[Music]

[Applause]

i

i won't say it

[Music]

now let me see what shall i wear oh yes

yes this should do nicely

keep away us real you're getting cat air

on my finest cloak

i got the mail will be the hit of the

wizards convention especially when i

show them a real live smurf

ew

it's from the wizard council it must be

my invitation

you are not invited to the convention

and we do not want to see a smurf

there's no such thing as smurfs

no such thing as smurfs no such thing as

smurfs i'll show those doubting wizards

a smurf or two

just as i thought the final phase of the

full moon is tonight asriel then for one

day my great book of spells will be open

for business

[Music]

not invited to the convention eh i'll

show them not only will i bring the

smurf to the convention i'll fly there

ah

the great book of spells

oh a great book of spells upon whose

pages dwell secrets no one tells awake

for gargamel

[Music]

just what do you think you're doing oh

witness wizard

oh great book

it is the final phase of the full moon

and i am entitled to my one day of

wishes do you realize what time it is

day means day for brainless fun

come back at dawn

[Music]

dawn but i

[Music]

enjoy your rest oh great book

cranky old book but i must be patient

soon i'll be flying higher

what about this fellow gargamel

rest assured gentlemen lenore has

delivered the message gargamel will not

attend this meeting and now for our

first lecture my dad the magnificent

will discuss new advances in fraud

prince transformation

[Music]

good morning daisy time to rise and

smurf

[Music]

early to bed early to rise yum yum gives

me lots of time to spurf my pies

[Music]

at last

it's dawn

let's get started shall we

i said wake up speak the incantation oh

rude one uh yes yes

um oh great book of spells upon whose

pages dwell secrets no one tells awake

for gargamel

[Music]

very well moronic mortal tell me what

you require

i want to ride the biggest bird on earth

feed me well oh hapless human draw this

pentagram on the ground

light toad fat candles all around

stand in the middle toes to your nose to

get your wish repeat this prose up this

townses who's he watches rara avis

thirty-one flavors

obsessed bounces oozy watches herrera

avers thirty-one flavors

[Music]

all right all right now start flying

fly i command you'll fly

no no no stop stop whoa

whoa stop stop whoa

oh gosh what was that

i do not know some of it looked like

gargamel

stop i say whoa

go back go back those were smurfs you

for stop

ouch

now this revolutionary new firewand is

completely unbreakable

oh a beautiful piece of work saying off

beautiful

why are we here

wow

and take your imaginary smurfs with you

and never come back

you wizards haven't seen the last of me

[Music]

they'll see when i show them a bag of

smurfs then i'll have the last laugh

this time i'm going to get it right

oh great book of spells upon whose pages

dwell secrets no one tells awake for

gargamel

why didn't you give me a bird that could

fly

you didn't ask for one

now moronic mortal tell me what it is

you really want

i want a fly i want a saw like a great

bird over the forest then find the smurf

village and swoop down upon the little

brats please lower your voice you

hysterical human

very well do as i say

draw this circle in the dirt sprinkle

skunk juice on your shirt

[Music]

stand upon your empty head with your

feeble arms out spread

and repeat the words when said

what are smarter thread your needle what

a schmatter thread your needle pedal

pusher flying beetle

header

now you can fly like a bird

follow my simple instructions of course

now hammer the wheel to the strut stitch

the cloth to the wing

getting there

you're getting there

prepare to fly as we help yeah

those smurfs won't know what get them it

works i'm flying you frightened

i'm flying

i'm coming smurfs i'm coming wizard i'm

coming

what is that oh looks like a big bird

keep your head still clumsy sounds like

a sick bird

be still

the bird looks like gargamel

dog billy d*ck

guggenheim

[Music]

yes i see them it's those little blue

wretches i'll show those scouting

wizards

what do we do there's not much time by

smurfs candy fill out the cannibal

a papa smurf there's no amm*nit*on now

without amm*nit*on what good is smurfing

the catapult if we don't but there is

amm*nit*on greedy we need your pies

coming right up papa smurf just a little

lower

[Music]

stop that

fire two

fire three four five

six

that'll teach that me

[Music]

easy on the amm*nit*on treaty just in

case gargamel returns

oh

we've overshot the village in this

plastic cake won't turn around

[Music]

it won't stay up much longer

and the universe consisting of only one

planet earth with the sun circling

around it has one moon made of blue

cheese whereas

what what

it's that bird rain again dark amount of

ridiculous

never gives up you'll see you'll see

and never come back

secrets no one tells you

yes you awake

for

[Music]

i want another flying machine

one not powered by my feet fast enough

to avoid flying pies

then do as i command foolish fumbler now

listen here book i've had enough of your

commands i demand a foolproof way to fly

you're the fool and i have proof the sun

has set you bubbly tooth and with the

sun so goes the day

your hold on me doesn't fade away

but wait and that's not fair i i haven't

got what i asked for i demand a

foolproof way to fly

oh

you're not such a great book of spells

i'll find a way to fly on my own

oil of thunderweed powdered lightning

bugs cold dust

distillation of fire branch

now just a touch of

truck it's boiling over

what was that i do not know some of you

look like gaga milk

voila i am done with your portrait

clumsy

well what do you think

oh gosh i don't know some of it looks

like me

look

it's that madman gargamel doesn't he

ever learn

[Music]

i remember you what a long

the convention is over

but wait wait the smurfs do exist and

i'll bring one back i just need a little

more time please

better luck next year gargamel don't

call us we'll call you if at first you

don't succeed fly fly again

oh just wait until next year just wait

i'll show you

[Music]
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