02x12 - The Clock King Gets Crowned

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Batman". Aired: January 12, 1966 – March 14, 1968.*
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Series follows on Batman and Robin as they defend Gotham City from its various criminals.
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02x12 - The Clock King Gets Crowned

Post by bunniefuu »

We have previously seen...

in a jewelry shop,
an antique clock...

that does more than tell time.

Second Hands...

in a split-second robbery.

The mental mainspring of this
timetable of crime, the Clock King.

Batburgers at a drive-in.

Batburgers?

Now it's the Clock King
disguised as a pop artist.

Batman and Robin
pop into the picture.

The Dynamic Duo
caught in the coils of time.

Batman finds the
Clock King's watch.

A trail in the dust.

Batman and Robin find
Clock King's hideout.

Blackjacks find the Dynamic Duo.

And they find they're
trapped in a giant hourglass.

The Clock King's
watch was a trap.

Holy Sahara.

And their utility
belts out of reach.

Meanwhile, the sands of time...

pour down with relentless force.

Is this to be the Caped
Crusader's final adventure?

In one moment, we'll come
face-to-face with the moment of truth.

It's no use, Robin.

It's too thick.

I've got it.

Maybe we can plug up the neck
of the hourglass with our capes.

For how long, Robin?

Have you forgotten?
This glass is airtight.

Even if the sand doesn't
suffocate us, the lack of air will.

Well, I guess we're finished.

Don't give up yet, Robin.

As long as we're alive,
there's still a chance.

I have an idea, Robin.

It might work.

You slam yourself against
your side of the glass...

and I'll do the same
against mine. Hurry.

Holy squirrel cage.

The glass didn't break.
What do we do now?

Squirrel cage.

That's it, Robin.

Start running around
like a squirrel in a cage.

I know I'm intruding on
two very busy officials.

Intruding, Mrs. Cooper? Heh.

My door is always open to a
lady as charming as yourself.

And we do have Bruce
Wayne in common, don't we?

Upstanding citizen.

Well, Bruce is really
the reason I'm here.

You see, today is his birthday.

And while I was downtown
shopping, I thought I'd drop by...

and see if I couldn't coax you into coming
to a little surprise party for him...

at Wayne Manor tonight.

You won't have to twist my
arm, Mrs. Cooper. I'd be delighted.

I'll second that.

Good. Shall we say 7-ish?

Very informal, and bring
your wives, of course.

Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Cooper.

My direct line to Batman.

Oh, how exciting.

Yes, Batman?

Robin too?

Good.

Thanks for calling.

Not bad news, I hope?

Ah. Merely checking in.

Dependability is just one of the
Caped Crusader's many fine qualities.

Oh, I know.

I talk of him and Robin
so often to Bruce and d*ck.

What in the world Gotham City
would ever have done without them...

I don't... Oh.

I don't mean to discredit
your fine department.

No need to apologize,
Mrs. Cooper.

We are all forever in
debt to the Dynamic Duo.

So intrepid and
yet so incognito.

- Sevenish, then?
- Yes, indeed, 7-ish.

- On the dot.
- Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

What about Batman?

He wanted to tell us that he had
successfully escaped a vicious trap...

- set for him by the Clock King.
- Hmm.

But that evil adversary
is still at large...

and no doubt planning
something even, hmm...

more monstrous.

- Uniforms.
- Check.

Everything ready for the
big job, Your Highness.

This sure is tingling.

Everything, including
this box and its contents.

If only Batman knew
what was in this box.

But he'll never know.

No. Batman will never know
anything anymore, eh, boys?

That's right, Your Highness.

You've done what
nobody else could've done.

You finished off
Batman and Robin.

Thank you.

I deserve it, of
course, but I thank you.

Time to go to work.

First I want to check up on that windmill
clock bought by that dear little old lady.

What dear little old lady?

You'll see in a moment, Millie.

And we'll see if that clock
has been put to use yet.

Oh, Alfred, look at what I
got Bruce for his birthday.

He'll be so pleased.

He will indeed, madam.

It's a rare antique.

There are very few clocks
left like it in the world today.

It's beautiful, madam.

I'm sure Mr. Wayne
will be most pleased.

Bruce Wayne?

Bruce Wayne, the millionaire?

Yes, by George.

That lady's the aunt of
d*ck Grayson, Wayne's ward.

When I learned she was shopping for a
suitable clock in a clock shop I knew about...

I sold the clock to the shopkeeper, knowing
he, in turn, would sell it to that lady.

That brain of yours is always
ticking away, Your Highness.

Just like a clock.

I'm a little tired after
my shopping, Alfred.

I think I'll take a nap to be nice and
fresh for Bruce's birthday party tonight.

Oh, he'll be so surprised.

Bruce Wayne certainly
will be surprised.

Because he has a fine collection
of old antique pocket watches...

which we are going to
appropriate in a few minutes.

Let's go.

There's one thing that
worries me, Your Highness.

Nothing should be
worrying any of us now...

so near to our great goal.

But that clock on
the lady's piano.

That's the one I thought that you wanted
me to put the little funny button on.

It is.

The control for
the knockout gas.

One whiff, the butler
will be out cold...

and the antique pocket
watches will be all mine.

Oh, no. No. Not that
button. I mean the button...

You...

You mean the Atomic Energy
Directional Control Switch?

- Well, whatever it is.
- "Whatever it is"?

Whatever it is is
supposed to be in this box.

- Not in that clock.
- That's what worries me.

- I think I made a mistake.
- Mistake.

You just pulled the biggest
boneheaded blunder of the century.

Now, If we don't get the windmill clock back
from Bruce Wayne's mansion in short order...

our big job will be ruined.

There isn't a minute to lose.

Your Highness, I'm sorry. I
never thought a funny little button...

An Atomic Energy Directional Control
Switch is not a funny little button.

That one's worth a cool
million dollars to us. Millie.

- You can be of great help to me right now.
- Me?

Gee. What do I do?

Stay here...

and keep your eyes
open, but stay out of sight.

Oh, I'll certainly try.

If I can remember all that.

Gee.

- I think I got a little sand down my neck too.
- You're lucky it's only sand, Robin.

An hourglass is not the
most practical of conveyances.

Anyway, here it is.

Our entire file on
crooks named Smith.

Good. I'll feed them
into the Batcomputer...

and see if we
can get the data...

on the mysterious Mr. Smith
Clock King mentioned.

Hmm, I sure hope so.

Boy, what I'd give to know where
Clock King is right at this very minute.

Meanwhile, up in the
Wayne living room...

The Atomic Energy Directional
Control Switch is intact.

I'm sure sorry about that
mistake, Your Highness.

While I'm here, I might as well pick up that
valuable collection of antique pocket watches.

I thought you said there
wasn't a minute to lose.

It won't take long.

Meanwhile, down
in the Batcave...

Gosh, if we get the
correct information...

we'll have the Clock King
right where we want him.

Meanwhile, up in the
Wayne living room...

Meanwhile, down
in the Batcave...

It won't be long now, Batman.

Meanwhile, up in the
Wayne living room...

That was fast.

Time is of the
essence. Let's go.

Good afternoon.

- Bruce's birthday clock!
- Shh.

- What are you doing here? Who are you?
- Shh.

Help! Alfred, Alfred!

Help! Alfred!

- It's the little old lady, Your Highness.
- d*ck Grayson's aunt.

I think we better
take her along with us.

Alfred!

Meanwhile, down
in the Batcave...

Why, it's Alfred's
burglar alarm.

There must be trouble upstairs.

What do you mean, take
me with you? Where? How?

That's a good question, Your
Highness. What do we put her in?

Take these. I'll
take care of her.

No. Help, Alfred!

You... You called, madam?

Holy hijackers.

Clock King and his Second
Hands robbing Wayne Manor.

Why, the brazen...

Watch what you say.

After all, we're not
supposed to know them.

Don't worry.

Unhand my aunt.

Sorry, gentlemen.

We hope to make
a safe getaway...

after lifting a few baubles
from this handsome residence.

Perhaps this sweet lady
will provide that safety.

You can take your baubles...

but you're not taking Mrs. Cooper
out of this house as a hostage.

We may have a difference
of opinion there, mister.

Quick. Out to the car.

I think I'm going to faint.

It's all right, Aunt
Harriet. They're gone now.

- They won't come back. Sit down. Sit down.
- Imagine me being a hostage.

It's all right. It's all right.

I'm sorry I wasn't
of much help, sir.

They gave me rather a
bad time when they entered.

That's quite all right, Alfred.

Would you just see Mrs. Cooper
up to her room, please, Alfred?

Certainly, sir.

Here we go, madam.

There. That's right.

Are we gonna let them
get away just like that?

By the time we got down to the
Batmobile, they'd be long gone, d*ck.

At least they didn't get away with my
private collection of antique pocket watches.

Hmm. He seemed more concerned
with that clock that they had.

Maybe it could be a lead,
Bruce. Wherever it came from.

I still think the mysterious Mr. Smith
will provide the lead we need.

Let's get back to the Batcave.

How about this?

Sable Sam Smith who
specializes in stealing valuable furs?

Sorry, Robin. He's
serving a jail term right now.

Here's one. Gibralter Smith.

Alias "Smitty Smith
the Safecracker."

Smitty Smith was recently
arrested for armed robbery.

He's back pounding rocks.

I can just see him now.

Old Smitty Smith.

He used to be a real swinger
on the safe-and-lock circuit.

Now he's swinging a
hammer on a rock pile.

I think you've got it, Robin.

Clock King was making a
pun on the name "Smith."

A Smith swings a
hammer in a smithy.

- Holy horseshoes.
- Exactly, Robin.

Mr. Smith is a blacksmith.

What connection could there be
between a blacksmith and Clock King?

A blacksmith and
a big-clock crime.

A blacksmith and
a big-clock crime.

Blacksmith. Big clock.

- Black...
- The big tower clock in downtown Gotham City.

Let's take a look.

Let's try another one.

Hmm.

- There's the blacksmith.
- Yes, Robin.

And every hour, that
mechanical marble...

brings his hammer down to strike
the anvil in time with the clock.

Clock King said that
a certain Mr. Smith...

would be assisting with
the crime at exactly 5:00.

Maybe he's going to put
something on the anvil...

that will be triggered by
the hammer when it strikes.

Thus his real objective must be
something facing the clock tower.

The only building facing the clock tower
is that one with the rooftop heliport.

Right, Robin.

His real objective
must be the heliport.

Someone or something of value must be
arriving at the heliport at exactly 5:00.

Maybe Commissioner Gordon
can provide us with an answer.

Five o'clock, Batman?

Hold on. Let me see.

One, two, three, four, five...

Yes. There is one
due at that time.

A helicopter from the nuclear laboratory
of the Gotham Institute of Technology.

Well, two noted physicists will
be delivering a cesium clock...

to the A.S.C. Corporation.

Uh, purely routine. We've
taken no special precautions.

A cesium clock?

Thank you, commissioner.

What's a cesium clock?

A cesium clock is one that's
regulated by controlled atomic energy.

It's frequently used in regulating
satellite tracking or in space probes.

Holy lift-off.

And I read recently
that a cesium clock...

is being delivered to the Amalgamated
Communications Corporation...

for use in their
tracking facilities.

That means that it's the same clock that's
being delivered by helicopter today at 5:00.

But what use would a
cesium clock be to Clock King?

Lots of use, Robin.

He could be holding the
A.S.C. up for ransom...

because a cesium clock is
worth at least a million dollars.

We've no time to lose.

To the tower.

Atomic batteries to power.

- Turbines to speed.
- Roger. Ready to move out.

What a setup.

But why do you want
me here, Clock King?

Any man wants a beautiful woman at his
side, Millie, at the climax of his career.

- Gee.
- Get the uniforms out.

We've little time for
this whole operation.

Now, these uniforms, forged
credentials and identification badges...

should give us carte blanche to
unload the cesium clock. The box.

- But I still don't understand.
- No questions.

You've already thrown us off schedule.
We haven't got a minute to lose.

Now, at 5:00, when
the clock strikes 5...

these figures
will start to move.

That hammer will
come down on the box...

and trigger the knockout
gas across to the heliport.

It won't affect us
in our gas masks.

We transfer to the heliport and fly
the cesium clock out on the helicopter.

Simple.

So very, very simple.

Oh. I didn't know you
could fly a helicopter.

Millie, for a million dollars, a
man can do almost anything.

Now, into the uniforms.

No.

It can't be true.

You're dead.

You have to be dead.

- Maybe we're living on borrowed time.
- But now it's roundup time.

Batman, look. His g*n.

Holy merry-go-round.

That wild sh*t has started
the clockworks moving.

Get them before they get you.

Five o'clock.

- Not bad for timing, huh, Batman?
- Yes, Robin.

And that clock's tolling the
end of Clock King's crimes.

Great job, Batman.

I couldn't have
done better meself.

Thank you, Chief O'Hara.

That's high praise indeed.

You and the Boy Wonder
deserve a great deal of credit.

Thanks to you, the Clock
King is behind bars at last.

And high time too.

Uh, no pun intended, Batman.

Agreed, commissioner.

And I find it only fitting...

that Clock King, who
made time serve his crimes...

must now serve time himself.

Well put, Batman.

And speaking of time, Chief O'Hara and I
are late right now for the birthday party...

d*ck Grayson's aunt is giving
for millionaire Bruce Wayne.

Robin and I had the honor of
being invited too, commissioner.

Unfortunately, we cannot attend.

Oh, too bad. It should
be quite an affair.

It's a surprise party, you know.

I'm sure millionaire Bruce
Wayne will be quite surprised.

- Well, Chief O'Hara, come on.
- All right, commissioner.
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