03x22 - Lucy and the Old Mansion

[bunniefuu]

35, 36, 37, 38, 39...

Boy, Mom, the countess
sure has a lot of luggage.

Yeah, yeah. Come here, Jerry.

Give me a hand, will you?

Well, you didn't strain
yourself, did you, son?

Oh... boy!

Ah, there.

Oh, I think that's
about all of it.

- Mm.
- I hope so.

- Hey, but where's the countess?
- I don't know.

Countess?

What?

Oh...

I'm gonna miss
all of you so much.

- I hate to see you go, Rosie.
- Well.

I sure hate to see you leave.

I just learned how to
pronounce your name.

I wish you could stay, Rosie.

Well, so do I, but with
Vivian coming home,

- she'll need a room.
- Yeah.

Besides, I'll be all
right in the hotel, dear.

- Don't worry.
- Okay, darling.

Answer the phone,

- will you, sweetheart?
- Okay, Mom.

- I got your jewelry case...
- Where is it?

What do you mean, where is it?

It's right over there, honey.

Oh, really, not again.

Oh, that long cord will
be the death of me yet.

All right, keep your shirt on.

I'm coming.

Rosie, you packed the
telephone in your trunk!

You're gonna miss
me around here.

Hello.

No, I'm sorry, this is
not Irving's Meat Market.

Well, I can't help
it if it's the number.

It is not the market.

All right, madam,

I'll send you two
pounds of ground round.

Honey, will you go upstairs

and straighten out
Aunt Viv's room?

- You help her, too, will you, sweetheart?
- Okay.

Don't forget to say
good-bye to the countess.

- Good-bye.
- Aw... Good-bye, darling.

- Au revoir.
- Au revoir.

- Good-bye, darling.
- Au revoir.

Come in!

Oh, that must be...

Lucy, it's me, I'm home.

Vivian!

Oh, Viv, it's so
good to see you!

I mean, hear you!

Where are you?

Oh, oh, honey, I'm so...

I missed you so...

Oh, you changed your hair!

Oh.

- Viv!
- I think you made a mistake.

Oh, I... I made a mis...

- Oh, honey!
- Hi, honey.

There you are.
I thought I was...

You're the countess.

And you're Vivian.

- Yeah. Oh, so nice...
- How do you do.

Oh, I'm so happy to meet you.

I'm so glad you slept in my bed.

Oh, really?

I'll bet I'm the only
person in this whole town

who's had royalty
sleep in their beds.

Uh, dear, I-I'm
not really royalty.

Oh, you are, too.

Oh, I am not.

I'm just plain old
Rosie Harrigan.

I'm a countess because I
happened to marry a count.

Oh, there's still hope for me.

Maybe someday, a
prince will come along

and sweep me off my feet.

He's gonna need a big broom.

Oh...

Mom!

Yes, Sherman?

Where should I
put your suitcase?

Oh, put that up in
my room, honey.

I don't want to
get it all mixed up

with the countess's
luggage here.

While you're up there, darling,

will you help the kids
straighten out Mom's room?

- Okay.
- Do your share.

Okay.

My goodness, Countess!

Is all this luggage yours?

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

Ooh, Calcutta,
Melbourne, Thailand,

Bangkok and Hong Kong.

Have you been
to all those places?

No, I just use the labels to
cover the holes in the baggage.

Oh, Rosie, that's not true!

Oh, come on.

Oh, that phone.

No, this is not
Irving's Meat Market.

Oh, I-I'm sorry.

Just a moment, please.

Yeah, it's a telegram
for you, Rosie.

Oh.

Hello?

Yes, this is she speaking.

Yes. Yes.

No.

Oh, dear.

Oh, yes, thank you very much.

Bad news?

Sort of.

Lord and Lady Van Cleve
are arriving in the states

and expect to spend
the weekend with me.

Lord and Lady Van Cleve!

- You know 'em, Lucy?
- No!

But I know that
they're nobility.

A-And... what are you gonna do?

- You can't entertain them in a hotel room.
- No.

W-Well, they'll-they'll
expect you to be living in a...

in a big, beautiful chateau.

Yes. Little do they know...

What does that mean, Rosie?

"I'm flat broke, honey."

Oh, dear.

What am I going to do?

Well, we'll just have
to find you a chateau.

Well, now, that should be easy.

If we can't find one, we have
till the weekend to build one.

But I have to find a
place to entertain them.

Now, wait a minute.

The bank handles
a lot of real estate.

Uh-huh.

Maybe Mr. Mooney
will tell us where to go.

Oh, he'll tell you
where to go, all right.

I'm afraid it'll be a little too
warm to entertain, though.

Oh, Viv! Maybe he
wouldn't do it for me,

but he'll do it
for the countess.

He's quite impressed with Rosie.

Oh, he is?

Oh, yes. Every time he sees
me, he fawns all over me.

Yeah, he clicks his
heels and kisses her hand.

Oh, don't tell me Mr. Mooney's
turned into a knuckle nibbler.

- Yeah.
- Oh, this I got to see, girl.

Well, come on with
us, and you'll see it.

No, I got to stay
here and unpack.

Well, come on,
Rosie, let's get going.

Well, all right, all
right, fine. I'll be...

Oh, I'd better take this
ring off before we see him.

- Don't you trust Mr. Mooney?
- Oh, yes, yes.

But the last time
he kissed my hand,

- he broke his pivot tooth on it.
- Oh.

Come on, dear, hurry up.

Yeah, I'm coming.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Yes, JD, it's been
a wonderful day!

Yes, the board of directors

are considering
increasing the dividend

and giving me a nice bonus.

Yeah.

Everything's coming up roses.

Uh... some poison
ivy just came in.

I'll call you back, JD.

Good morning, Mr. Mooney.

Uh, Mrs. Carmichael,
I am a very busy man.

I have no t...

Countess!

- Bonjour!
- Bonjour!

Oh...

Please, be seated.

- Oh, thank you.
- Not you.

Oh. Oh, it's so good to
see you again, Countess.

You are positively
radiant, my dear.

Thank you, Mr. Money.

Uh, uh, uh...

That's Mooney.

Mooney, yes.

Now, to what do I owe
the honor of this visit?

Mm?

I have a problem.

My dear Countess,
what kind of a problem?

Confide in me.

Yes. Well, some very
dear friends of mine

are arriving to pay me a
visit... Lord and Lady Van Cleve.

A real lord and lady
here in Danfield?

Oh, wait till I
tell my wife! Oh!

Your wife.

Oh, yes, I always forget
that you're married.

But it seems all
handsome men are.

Your wife is a very
fortunate woman.

Yes, she is.

Of course, it
wasn't easy for Irma.

I was quite a difficult catch.

Most foul balls are.

Now, uh, Countess,
about your problem.

Yes, my problem.

Well, as I was saying,

Lord and Lady Van Cleve
expect to stay with me, of course,

and I haven't a suitable
place to put them.

You see, she can't
expect a lord and lady

to stay at my house.

Naturally.

That would be like putting
champagne in a beer bottle.

Now, just a minute, there's
nothing wrong with my house.

It's just that I
think the countess

needs something more
befitting her position.

You know, like a
beautiful, uh, uh, estate.

Yes, that's right.

And that's why I came to you.

You have such
im... peccable taste.

Now, I was wondering if
you could suggest something.

Well, I don't think we have
any large, beautiful estates

in our small town, Countess.

Oh, dear.

N... Wait a minute.

We do have just one.

- Ah?
- Mm-hmm.

- The Bellingham Estate.
- The Bellingham.

- Quite old, but very elegant.
- Uh-huh.

And the bank handles it, too.

It might be just
perfect for you.

Oh, well, I'll take it.

Good, good. Now,
about the price...

Never mind discussing
money, Mr. Mooney.

You see, on the continent,
we have a custom.

We never buy an estate outright.

We live in it for a week or so,

and if it suits our
personality, we buy it.

If not, c'est la vie.

La vie. C'est!

Yes, indeed.

Uh, well, that
sounds fair enough.

Now, let me see
if, uh... Ah, yes.

There we are.

There's the Bellingham Estate.

Thank you, you darling man.

You are wonderful!

I know.

Oh, I think it only fair
to warn you, Countess,

the house hasn't been
lived in for a long time...

It may need some work.

Oh, that's quite all right.

I'm having my household
staff sent over from Paris.

Will they get here in time?

Yes. She's having
them airmailed.

Lucy, do you know the address?

- Yes, I know how to find it.
- All right, fine.

Uh, Countess?

Oh, yes, of course.

- Ah. Oh...
- Au revoir.

Oh, no.

No!

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it!

It's...

Oh!

What a mess!

If they ran water through it,

it would look like
the sewers of Paris.

Lucy, I can't have
my guests come here!

Well, now, don't
get panicky, Rosie.

We'll hire a crew of men

to come in here and
clean this place all up.

But that costs money!

Well, all right,
then we'll pitch in

- and clean it up ourselves.
- Oh, my word!

Viv will help us... She's
just wonderful at this.

Now, all we have to know
is-is what has to be done.

We'll just find out what has to
be done, and we'll get started.

Now-Now, first
of all, of course,

it'll need a thorough cleaning,

and we'll need new wallpaper,

and... those tables
will have to be fixed,

and the chairs will
have to be fixed,

and the door will
have to be rehung,

and we can always get...

Aah!

And the floor will
have to be fixed.

Uh, don't worry about
that... I'll fix the floor myself.

Yes. Well, this
place is hopeless.

It really is hopeless.

My guests will be
here this weekend,

and what will...

But you'll never get that fixed.

Oh, sure we will, Rosie.

- That isn't hard to fix.
- No...

Gee whiz, it's-it's impossible!

Now, Rosie,
nothing is impossible

- if we apply ourselves.
- Mm-hmm.

Now, we'll just make a list of
what we need and get started.

- Mm-hmm.
- Now, we're gonna need wallpaper,

we're gonna have...

Oh, Rosie, look!

I used to see these
things in the movies.

- Yeah.
- I think I'll call

the butler.

Hurry up, girls, we
don't have much time.

I'm hurrying, heavens knows.

I'm trying to...

- Viv, stop pushing!
- I'm not doing anything!

Now, you'll have to back
up with it... come on, back up

- and start all over.
- This is heavy, Viv.

Be careful!

Will you quit fighting?

Hey, be careful!

Watch where you're
going with that lad...

Lucy.

Come on, Viv! Where are you?

- What do you want?
- I'm back here.

Where?

- Viv?
- In the ladder.

Oh, Viv, what are you doing in
the ladder, for heaven's sake?

Now, we haven't got
any time to play around

- and make jokes.
- Oh, that's...

Now, come on, get over there
and get that paste on that paper.

Listen, you know something,
I'm gonna have to build a scaffold.

How are you gonna
build a scaffold?

I'm gonna use that plank there.

And I'm gonna put
it right across that.

Rosie, will you put this
ladder by the window?

Okay.

Oh, that's heavy.

Whew!

- Viv?
- Yeah?

You sure that you fixed
the leg on that table?

What table?

That table over there.

- Listen, Rosie.
- Yes?

You get ahold of
one end of this plank...

Watch that, watch that plank.

I want you to get ahold of
one end of the plank, Rosie,

and help me put it up
on top of the ladder.

- All right, okay.
- Between the ladders, you know?

- All right, between the ladders.
- Yep.

The plank's too long.

Oh, yeah.

- We're gonna have to get a shorter plank.
- Yes, we are.

- Come on.
- Did you ever think

of moving the
ladders farther apart?

All right, we could
do it that way.

And a very
intelligent suggestion.

- Come on, let's do it.
- Okay.

- Okay, got it?
- You got a good hold?

All right. Come on,
get it up there. Okay.

All right, now, wait a
minute, I got to fix this here.

- What? Are you back far enough?
- Yeah.

You never looked lovelier.

Never mind, just
stick to your wallpaper.

Come on, put it up on the
top, Lucy, on the top, girl.

- Does it reach?
- That-a-girl.

Put it... There we go.

- Okay. Okay?
- That's a very nice scaffold.

Now, all right.

- Hey, Lucy?
- Yeah?

I got the first piece
of wallpaper fixed.

- Where'll I put it up?
- Right over there on that wall.

Okay.

That's Mr. Mooney.

- It is Mr. Mooney!
- Oh, Mr., oh, Mr...

Get away from me, you two!

What do you two
clowns think you're doing?

We're sorry, Mr. Mooney.

Sorry, my foot!

I walk in here, and I
get hit with a ladder

and then with a plank!

And now you're wallpapering me!

I don't...!

Countess.

Please, p-p-please, forgive me.

- I'm so sorry, my dear.
- Uh, i-it's my... my fault.

I'm-I'm just a clumsy oaf.

Oh, no, you're
not, no, you're not.

We're just trying to get
this place redecorated.

Oh, I... uh...

Oh, my goodness,
I didn't realize

it was in such
deplorable condition!

Well, we'll manage
to get this fixed up.

I... I somehow get the feeling

you shouldn't be
doing this kind of work.

He's right. We shouldn't...

Not you!

You get busy.

What we need is
a little organization.

- Yes, organization.
- Now, Countess, with my help,

we'll have this place
fixed up for you in no time.

- Oh, thank you.
- Yes, now, then...

Uh, you, come over here.

Now, then, you do
the wallpapering,

and you repair
the furniture, right?

- Yes.
- All right.

Um, uh, you, you come over here.

You do the painting
and the cleaning up.

You've got lots of
equipment there.

Take it easy, Countess.

What are you gonna do?

I'm going to play golf.

Oh, Countess.

I'm so sorry. Uh...

Oh!

You know, he's absolutely right.

All we need is organization.

Now, Lucy,

you do the papering
and the cleaning up,

and, Countess, you
mend the furniture.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna caddy for
Mr. Mooney. Fore!

Lucy, I think it
just looks great.

Great? It looks
wonderful! Brand-new!

Well, I think I've got
the upstairs rooms

looking presentable.

Well, so do you!

Oh, Rosie, you look wonderful!

We'd better get home and
get our clothes changed.

Girls, this is
absolutely amazing.

It's marvelous
what you have done!

- Oh. Oh, but I think this chair...
- Uh, bup, bup, bup!

Don't touch that
chair, don't touch it.

I just varnished
it, and it's still wet.

Oh. Well, Lucy, you
did a marvelous job

with the wallpaper.

- It looks really professional.
- Well, thank you.

- Once I set my mind to something, I do it.
- Yes.

If I say so myself, this
room does look beautiful.

Doesn't it now!

Don't you think
it's a little dark?

Well, pull up the shade.

What shade?

The shade on the window.

What window?

Oh, come on, Viv, the win...

Lucy, you didn't.

Yes, she did.

How could anybody
paper over a window?

Oh, if you're Lucy, it's easy.

Now, don't be snide;
I'll find the window.

- All right.
- She'll find the window. Mm-hmm.

I found it.

- I'll let some air in here.
- Yeah.

How could anyone
do a thing like that?

Now, don't worry,
I'll fix it, I'll fix it.

Oh, that must be Mr. Mooney.

Come in!

Lord and Lady Van Cleve!

- Darlings!
- Oh, darling!

How lovely to see you!

Ah, Countess!

I didn't expect you so early.

Now, I rang your doorbell,
but evidently, it isn't working.

- Oh, well, I...
- You know, our plane

got in much too soon.

Well, I'm so sorry, but I
expected you this evening.

What in the world?

- Uh, we were, uh...
- Uh, uh...

Uh, well, Lady...

uh, this is my staff.

- Your staff?
- Really?

Yes. You see, in,
uh, this little village,

we have a quaint custom.

- Yes.
- Uh, yes.

The local help hold down
two jobs simultaneously.

Oh.

I think you call it
moonshining or something.

Oh, how quaint.

Uh, this is Bagley.

Oh, uh, I'm the, uh, cook
and the house painter.

Combination, both jobs.

And this is Carmichael.

Uh, Your Highnesses.

I'm a combination upstairs maid
and downstairs wallpaperer-er.

Yes, that's very good, yes.

Well, uh, come along, and, um...

uh, uh, Carmichael,
take his lordship's hat,

- will you, please?
- Oh, yes, ma'am.

Your hat, Your Lordliness.

Uh, th-thank you.

All right, yes,
would you like to see

the view of the garden
from the balcony?

- Oh, we'd love to!
- Oh, we'd love to!

Now, come along
and I'll show you.

Thank you so much.

It's terribly nice
of you to come...

What a lovely old
staircase. Charming.

We're horribly happy to see you.

Well, we're
delighted to be here.

Oh, are you a great wallpaperer.

You didn't do too well
on that table, either.

No, I didn't.

What's that?

- What's that?
- It's a teakettle.

Rosie was going to fix
some tea for the lord and lady.

Oh, that's a good idea.

I'll get them some tea.

Englishmen just love tea.

- Yeah, do that.
- Yeah, okay.

- Uh, fix that.
- I'll fix it.

That was lovely, darling.

- Well, thank you very much.
- Magnificent.

It is a bit weedy at the moment.

- Oh, no.
- It isn't.

How lovely.

Let's sit over here, shall we?

- Make ourselves comfortable.
- Thank you, Countess.

May I make a suggestion?

Uh, why don't you
have a spot of tea?

A spot of tea?

Yes.

Well, that's a good idea.

Oh, that would be marvelous.

Carmichael, wheel in the tea.

This is very nice of them.

- Carmichael.
- Yeah?

You didn't put the...

Yes, you see, I'm a combination
upstairs maid and wallpaperer.

And I'm also keeper
of the tea bags.

Well, Bertie and
Violet, do sit down.

We're delighted. Thanks.

Oh!

Another one of your
sudden headaches, my dear?

Not exactly.

Uh, Countess,

perhaps we should have
tea right about in here.

Yes, let's... Very good idea.

Now, take... Bring
the chair over, Bagley,

- for Her Ladyship.
- Yes, ma'am.

And get a chair
for His Lordship.

Now, please, please, do be...

- There you are, Countess.
- Thank you, my dear.

Now, do be seated.

Thank you.

Ah.

What is this?!

Goodness!

Well, get this
off! I've never...

Oh!

Oh, oh, I...

Are you all right, darling?

Quite all right, darling.

More than I am.

I'm so terribly sorry.

I'm afraid this place isn't
what you're accustomed to.

Oh, no.

You know, we feel
very much at home here.

You know, Countess,

our place in England
is much older than this,

and it's in a constant
state of disrepair.

Then you're not annoyed?

Good heavens, no, my dear.

Reminds us of home, my darling.

Oh, how sweet.

Ah, bonjour, Countess.

Oh, Monsieur Mooney.

May I present my
very dear friends

Lord and Lady Van Cleve.

How do you do,
sir. How do you do.

So glad to...

Lord and Lady Van
Cleve, it's a great honor...