03x23 - Lucy and Arthur Godfrey

[bunniefuu]

And let me say this is
going to be the biggest show

the Danfield Community
Players have ever put on.

And I predict it will be socko.

That's show business talk
for "successful production."

How can we miss
with Arthur Godfrey
Imagine, Arthur Godfrey
being in a show I wrote.

I say the real vote of thanks
should go to Mrs. Carmichael

for getting him for us.

True, true. I was saving
my biggest bravo for her

when she arrives from New York.

Who would believe Lucy knew
Arthur Godfrey well enough

to get him for our show?

Wilby!

Wilby, come out here.

Good morning.

Morning, sir.

Just ride any horse
you like, Mr. Godfrey.

They all need the exercise.

Yeah, they're all
getting fat as pigs

How are ya? How are
ya? How are ya? Huh?

You know, we're going to
have a lot of fun today, boy.

But first a word
from our sponsor.

Yeah, you take it from your
old friend Arthur Godfrey,

there's no better way for
you horses to start the day

than with a piece
of energy-rich sugar.

Not just any old sugar, my boy.

It's got to be that
super-energized sugar

that comes in
the little red box.

Now, you take
my word for it, fella.

I wouldn't give you a bad steer.

I'm known to nibble
a little on it myself.

Would you like some of this?

- Mr. Godfrey.
- Huh?

Pardon me, sir, but your
show doesn't come on

till this afternoon.

Oh, darn it. I keep forgetting,

we don't have a sponsor for
this early morning ride, do we?

- No, sir.
- But I'll tell you...

- Tallyho.
- Likewise.

Well, good morning, ladies.

Uh, pardon the intrusion, sir,

uh, but have you seen a
couple of runaway horses?

Runaway horses? No.

- Have you, Wilby?
- No, sir.

Uh, well, you see, we
were riding to the hounds,

and our horses threw
us and ran away.

So here we are...
Instead of fox hunting,

we're horse hunting.

Ooh.

Well, I-I'd love to
help you hunt for them.

Oh, no. Oh, you-you-you...
that's not necessary.

Well, I've got some horses
saddled up here ready to go.

Come on.

- Oh, uh, really...
- Oh, no, no.

It'll do them good
to be lost for a while.

Yeah, let them worry.

Serves them right
for running away.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- You know what I think, ladies?
- What?

You're both a little horse shy,
because you've just been thrown.

Yeah, that's it.
That's it, Luce.

That must be it, Lucy.

Yeah, that must be it.

Wilby, untie Fury and
bring him over here, will you?

Look, you know the old saying...
When you've been thrown,

the thing to do is to get
right back up in the saddle

and ride again.

It's the best thing
to do. Come on.

Uh-huh. Well, why
don't you go first, Viv.

No, no, he said it was
good for you, not me.

We'll let your friend
mount after you do.

Yes, I'll... I'll
mount after you do.

You just go right
ahead and mount.

Go right ahead. Go
right ahead. That's a girl.

Up you go.

Hello, Fury.

No, don't help
her with it, Wilby.

No, don't help me, Wilby.

No, it's best to let
her do it on her own.

Yeah, I got to do it on my own.

You-you just hold the nice Fury.

Where's the seat belt?

What do I do if I start to fall?

You can always
grab hold of the mane.

- The main what?
- Oh.

Wilby, go get the
other horse, will you?

Oh, I don't... I don't...

Uh, she can go with you.

- Uh, uh, I don't really, uh...
- No, no, no.

You-you-you better
come with me, Viv.

Oh, I don't care... I
don't really, uh... Oh!

Oh, that's a big one, isn't it?

Come on, Viv, just
leap into the saddle.

Come on.

Has either one of you
been on a horse before?

Well, uh...

No. To tell you the truth,
we haven't, Mr. Godfrey.

Oh, you know my name.

Oh, oh, everybody knows
who you are, Mr. Godfrey.

Oh, yes, yes.

You're our favorite
entertainer, Mr. Godfrey.

Oh, brother, they're
buttering me up for something.

Come here. Come here
a minute. Come here.

Come on.

Now, look, as one
redhead to another,

what in the world are
you trying to sell me?

Well, Mr. Godfrey, uh, uh,
my name is Lucy Carmichael,

and-and that's Vivian Bagley.

Yeah, that's... Hello. Hi.

You see, we tried to see
you at your office in New York,

but we couldn't get
by your secretary.

Yeah, sometimes Mary
Ann is quite a tiger. Yeah.

Once I even had trouble
getting past her myself.

I had to show her
my driver's license.

Come on down, Viv.
Let's talk to Mr. Godfrey.

Yes, I... yes, I'm
going to get down.

Come around here, honey.

Be careful, now. Come on.

It's all right. Come here. Yes.

You see, Mr. Godfrey,
uh, we're from Danfield.

Danfield?

Yes, Danfield, New York.

Uh, lovely country.

You'll enjoy the trip up there.

- Oh, I will?
- Yeah.

Well, if I'm up there
sometime, I'll call on you ladies.

Well, Mr. Godfrey,
can't be sometime.

It's got to be a
week from tonight.

Yes.

Well, it's nice of you
to give me time to pack.

Come on, now.

What... what is this all about?

- Well...
- Well, now, Mr. Godfrey,

the Danfield Community Players

are putting on a
big musical show.

Yeah, it's all about the
founding of Danfield.

And it's for a very good cause.

Yes, it's to raise money

for the children's
wing of our hospital.

Yeah, and we figured we
could raise a lot more money

if we had a big
celebrity like yourself.

So we want you
to star in the show.

That's very flattering,
but why me?

Well, Mr. Godfrey, you
were just made for the part.

Calls for a very handsome man

with a firm chin and
twinkling blue eyes

and a charming smile,
and a very perfect profile.

Hmm, it sure doesn't sound like
the face I shaved this morning.

But I'm loving it. Go ahead.

Well, now, it's
a wonderful part.

You see, you play the part
of a Southern gentleman

who's just about to
lose his big plantation.

Yeah, and you have
some big dramatic scenes,

and you get to sing and dance.

Why, you're practically
the whole show.

So you think you can appeal to
the old Virginia ham in me, huh?

- You know what?
- What?

I'll do it.

Oh, Mr. Godfrey!

Oh!

Don't look now, Daddy,

but I have a strange feeling
someone is staring at me.

Men can't help it, daughter.

It's your dazzling beauty.

Oh, Daddy.

And it's your dazzling beauty

that's going to save
the old plantation for us.

Why, Daddy,
whatever do you mean?

I was hoping that I wouldn't
have to tell you, Lucy-Belle,

but we're broke.

Broke?

Flat broke.

Oh, well, I sort of
suspected it, Daddy,

when we ran out of
patches for my pantalets.

Poor child. It hurts
my Southern pride

to see the old
plantation so run down.

Poor Daddy.

I noticed the roof is full of
holes, and leaks so badly.

Yes. Last night it rained,

and I finished my
mint julep four times.

Tell me, Daddy, how did we
come to such dire circumstances?

Well, Lucy-Belle,
I'll tell you all about it.

Do that, Daddy.

♪ We were born
in that ever-loving ♪

♪ Cotton-picking South ♪

♪ At the corner of
that ever-loving ♪

♪ Shut-my-river mouth ♪

♪ On a large plantation
called the Southern Moon ♪

♪ But lately our old
homestead's gone ♪

♪ From wreck right on to ruin ♪

♪ Our cotton is rotten ♪

♪ The weevils are woeful ♪

♪ Turkeys ain't trotting ♪

♪ Magnolias are doleful ♪

♪ Something's surely wrong
with our old plantation land ♪

♪ Everything gets hazy
with no money on hand ♪

♪ My daughter ain't married ♪

♪ She's still on the vine ♪

♪ To find a wealthy Yankee
with a buck would be fine ♪

♪ Oh, Lucy-Belle, please
save this old plantation of mine ♪

♪ Go find yourself a Yankee
who's the marrying kind ♪

♪ His daughter ain't married ♪

♪ She's still on the vine ♪

♪ To find a wealthy Yankee
with a buck would be fine ♪

♪ Oh, Lucy-Belle, please
save this old plantation of mine ♪

♪ Go find yourself a Yankee
who's the marrying kind ♪

♪ Go find yourself a Yankee ♪

♪ 'Cause it's
Reconstruction time. ♪

So, Lucy-Belle, we took
passage on this riverboat

to find you a rich man to marry.

But, Daddy, you always told
me I should marry for love.

True, but sometimes daddies
can be just plain stupid.

Oh.

There's your man.

But, Daddy, how could
I marry a litterbug?

That is Conrad P.
Field from New York.

The wealthiest
man in the country.

But he's so short.

Not when he
stands on his wallet.

Now, go on, Lucy-Belle.

Saunter over there
and drop your hankie.

You want me to play
hanky-panky with a Yankee?

With a wealthy Yankee.

Well, why not?

♪ Oh, if I play
drop the hankie ♪

♪ With that sly and
clever Yankee ♪

♪ There'll be money in
the banky very soon ♪

♪ It's a clever little pranky,
but before we hanky-panky ♪

♪ He's got to pay the mortgage
off on Southern Moon ♪

♪ Oh, if I could only collar ♪

♪ That there
Yankee with a dollar ♪

♪ You'd hear this
rebel holler like a loon ♪

♪ Oh, if I could get his money, I
would call that Yankee honey ♪

♪ And once again
we'd sing a Dixie tune ♪

♪ Oh, looky, Yankee, looky ♪

♪ Let me see your banky booky ♪

♪ And I'll be your Yankee... ♪

Thank you.

♪ Pick my hankie up ♪

♪ And I'll join the
Yankee side. ♪

Daddy!

Daddy, he didn't
pick up my hankie.

Excuse me, miss.

I love you.

Let's get married.

I don't even know you.

Can you think of a better
way to get acquainted?

Well, no, I can't.

Daddy, I found the
man I want to marry.

Him?

And what can he give
you, piano lessons?

Sir, I may be poor,
but I am honest.

Beneath this tattered shirt...

I know, you've got
tattered underwear.

Lucy-Belle, you've just got
to marry that rich Yankee.

But, Daddy, I love him.

Oh, come on, Lucy-Belle.

Good-bye, poor but
honest piano player.

Now, Lucy-Belle, I
want you to cotton up

to that rich Northerner there.

Forget the hankie, but
give him plenty of panky.

All right, Daddy.

Mr. Conrad Field,

I'd like to present my
daughter, Lucy-Belle.

Egad!

What a ravishing beauty!

Never have I seen so
fair a flower of the South.

Coochie-coochie-coo.

Coochie-coochie-coo.

Impetuous child.

When she pounds
with her parasol,

that means she's infatuated.

Sir, this has never
happened to me before.

It's love at first sight.

I want to ask you
for your daughter's...

♪ Give me a drumroll ♪

♪ Give me a fanfare ♪

♪ Give me a spotlight ♪

♪ Give me a hand there ♪

♪ Watch out for
Steamboat Bessie ♪

♪ Steaming round the bend ♪

♪ I shake it port and starboard,
watch my rudder spin ♪

♪ So if you've got a little
time to spend, why, then ♪

♪ Spend your time with Bessie
'cause I'm man's best friend ♪

♪ Steamboat Bessie ♪

♪ What a gal ♪

♪ The siren of the river ♪

♪ She's a femme fatale ♪

♪ Steamboat Bessie ♪

♪ What a pal ♪

♪ Oh, I love a man, I leave a
man, I love to hear him howl ♪

♪ Oh, Steamboat Bessie
steaming right your way ♪

♪ Oh, I go a little
overboard most every day ♪

♪ So if you're kind of
lonely and you're all at sea ♪

♪ Put this little dreamboat
right up on your knee ♪

♪ Steamboat Bessie, what a gal ♪

♪ Steamboat Bessie ♪

♪ What a pal ♪

♪ Oh, Steamboat Bessie ♪

♪ Steamboat Bessie ♪

♪ Steamboat Bessie ♪

♪ Steamboat Bessie ♪

♪ Steamboat Bessie, that's me ♪

♪ Steamboat Bessie! ♪

Sir, I was about to
ask you for the hand

of this beautiful
flower of the South,

but now I have been tempted
by the tasty temptress, Bessie.

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,

he's turning cartwheels
over that vamp.

Yes.

Her short dress and
beautiful legs lured him away.

Well, what chance do I have?

How can a man go window-shopping
when I've got my curtains drawn?

Daddy, Daddy, I'm just going
to have to fight fire with fire.

Fight what?

Fire with fire.

♪ The cotton's still rotten ♪

♪ My last hope is gone now ♪

♪ Notten I've gotten ♪

♪ Can't carry on now ♪

♪ So I'll say good-bye to
my old plantation land ♪

♪ Can't hold it no longer ♪

♪ With no money on hand. ♪

Bartender!

Gentlemen, a toast to our flag.

Long may she wave.

To the Confederacy.

Oh, yes, sir!

Oh, I'm so sorr... I beg...

Oh, I'm so sorry.
Please sit down.

- Oh, thank you.
- There you are. There we are.

♪ Watch out for ♪

♪ Dixie Lucy
fighting fire with fire ♪

♪ When I get going,
boy, you'll soon expire ♪

♪ Now, Bessie here may be
the warmest thing you've got ♪

♪ But I can set the world
on fire, and boy, that's hot ♪

♪ Dixie Lucy ♪

♪ What a catch ♪

♪ Burning up the river ♪

♪ She's a human match ♪

♪ Dixie Lucy ♪

♪ Bolt the latch ♪

♪ Put me in the chicken house
and watch the eggs hatch ♪

♪ Oh, Dixie Lucy
fighting flame with flame ♪

♪ Next to me, Vesuvius
is mighty tame ♪

♪ So watch out, little Bessie,
'cause your game is through ♪

♪ I'll rub my arms together
and start a spark in you ♪

♪ Dixie Lucy, what a catch ♪

♪ Burning up the river ♪

♪ I'm a human match ♪

♪ Dixie Lucy, bolt the latch ♪

♪ Dixie Lucy ♪

♪ Dixie Lucy ♪

♪ Dixie Lucy... ♪

- ♪ That's me ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪

A Southern belle is even
more beautiful when she peels.

Now I am in a quandary.

Which of these
beauties should I marry?

I don't know where she
learned to waltz like that,

but I think my daughter,
Lucy-Belle, has lured him back.

But just to make sure

that Steamboat Bessie
is out of the competition,

I will go dazzle her with
a little Southern charm.

Hello, puddin' face.

You know, you and I could
make beautiful music together.

I doubt that. I heard you sing.

Possum face, look
deep into my eyes.

Deep into my eyes.

Do you get the message
my eyes are sending you?

Yeah, but you're so
broke, it's coming in collect.

You got notten, 'cause
your cotton's rotten.

But my cotton ain't
going to stay rotten long.

You see, if my daughter
marries Mr. Field,

she'll be wealthy,
and so will I.

So if you marry me, you'll be
marrying a man who's handsome

and lovable and wealthy.

You're for me, big boy.

Wealthy.

Sir, there's no
doubt about it now.

I am asking you for your
daughter's hand in marriage.

Sir, we haven't even
been properly introduced.

Oh, I am Conrad P. Field,
and I am worth $50 million.

That's what I call a
proper introduction.

Lucy-Belle.

Did you call me, Daddy?

Sir, you may marry
my little Lucy-Belle.

Ah.

Oh, Lucy-Belle, if you're
going to get married,

there's nothing left
for me to live for.

I'm going to throw
myself in the river.

Good-bye, cruel world.

Good-bye.

- Wait!
- Sir?

That tattoo.

What tattoo?

That tattoo.

What is your name, boy?

Sir, I have no name.

I am known only as the
poor but honest piano player.

You have a name now.

That tattoo is my
family coat of arms.

You are my son.

Your son?

Yes.

You were stolen years
ago by the Gypsies.

Daddy!

Sonny boy!

Son, you are now one of
the richest boys in the world.

And I'm so happy to
have you back again

I will give you
anything you want.

What do you want?

Oh, uh...

Uh...

Oh, Daddy.

Oh, more than anything
in the whole world,

I want to marry Lucy-Belle.

Lucy-Belle?

You're asking me to
make a great sacrifice,

but for you...

What do you say, Lucy-Belle?

What do you say, Lucy-Belle?

You've been my only true
love, rich but honest piano player.

Oh... oh, Lucy-Belle.

And once we're married, let's
do what I've always wanted to do.

What's that?

Go somewhere and found a town.

That's what I've
always wanted to do...

Found a town.

Let's find one and found it.

But what will we call it?

Oh, I don't know. We'll
think of something.

Welcome to the family.

Congratulations, my boy.

What-what... by the way,
what's the kid's name?

Dan... Dan Field.

Oh, what a wonderful
name for a town.

Danfield. We'll call
our town Danfield.

How about that?

You like that?

♪ Things will be
dandy in Danfield ♪

♪ Things will be so neighborly ♪

♪ We'll fill up the nation
with our population ♪

♪ We'll start it with
you and with me ♪

♪ People will
move into Danfield ♪

♪ There's no other
place they would be ♪

♪ Things will be
dandy in Danfield ♪

♪ Dan-dan-dan-dan-dee ♪

♪ Dan-dan-dan-dan-dee. ♪