06x22 - Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen: Night of the Comet

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Riverdale". Aired: January 2017 to present.*

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"Riverdale" follows Archie and his friends, exploring small town life, the darkness and weirdness bubbling beneath its wholesome facade.
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06x22 - Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen: Night of the Comet

Post by bunniefuu »

[JUGHEAD] Well, it's not every day
you learn that you're at ground zero


of an extinction-level event.

In less than hours,

Bailey's Comet was going to
obliterate Riverdale,


one last twist of the Kn*fe,
courtesy of Percival Pickens.


And there was nothing we could do to stop it

or apparently escape.

What did you find out?

I've had the Serpents out all night,

on every road and every highway.

And all along the town's limits,

there's some sort of invisible barrier

completely surrounding Riverdale,

and it's keeping us from leaving it.

Yeah, it gets crazier, though.

When we were out there on the
highway, a car drove into town.

Like there was no barrier.

So it's basically, like,
we're trapped in a roach motel.

You can get in, but you can't get out.

Jughead, what about opening up a portal?

I mean, I'll take any dimension
over this one at the moment.

I tried. I can only open
portals within town limits.

No other dimension.

[ARCHIE] Tabitha, what about you?

Have you tried to time travel?

Every time line I've gone to,
past and future,

there's always a comet that's
about to destroy Riverdale imminently.

- How the hell is this happening?
- It's Percival.

But was he really powerful enough

to get Bailey's Comet to change course?

- I mean, it's a comet.
- He is

and powerful enough
to weave the binding spell

that's keeping us all trapped here.

Shouldn't, like, the government try to
sh**t the comet out of the sky or something?

Why isn't this all over the Internet?

It's a facet of the spell.

Percival doesn't want anyone to help us,

so as far as the world is
concerned, Bailey's Comet is passing

over Riverdale tonight,
as it has every years.

Great. So that's it then.

We're all going to die.

I'm so happy I moved here sophomore year.

Well, not everyone's going to die.

Archie's invulnerable.

- What about Big Anthony?
- He's immortal.

Archie and I have
already talked about that.

They might be the only ones
that survive this,

especially if they're in the
bunker when the comet hits.

Uh, let's not go there yet.

We have enough time
to make sure we all survive.

Percival was a sorcerer

and pulling down the comet and
making this barrier are all spells he cast.

They are spells, Archie,

incredibly elaborate ones rooted in
dark, arcane magics honed over centuries.

- Far beyond my knowledge.
- And mine.

But there might be someone we can consult

with ancient knowledge
that rivals Percival's.

Okay, great. In the meantime, Frank and I

and anyone else who wants to
help, we're going to go into the mines.

If we dig deep enough, maybe we'll
find a tunnel that passes under the barrier.

[SCOFFS]

[ALICE] Whatever happens,

I'm just so grateful
that we can face it together

as a family.

But I am so sorry

that I can't protect you girls
from what's coming.

It's a comet, Mom.

And I am so sorry

that I wasn't a better mother.

- I was awful.
- No.

- Mom, we're okay.
- [CRYING]

We know that you would do anything for us.

And we love you.

So, so, so much.

[SOBBING] I love you, too.

How does it feel to be back?

Unsettling, but I'm still hoping
for an eleventh-hour save.

Speaking of, I have something for you.

I saved it from Percival's shop
before we b*rned it down.

I really can't seem to
get rid of this thing, can I?

[SIGHS]

Thank you, Reggie.

[JUGHEAD] You know, all things considered,

there are definitely more
banal ways to go out

than being obliterated
by a giant magic comet.

And I've actually completed
almost everything on my bucket list.

Alexandra Cabot?

Tabitha Tate?

What are you doing here?

Well, I am here to make
all your dreams come true.

[SLURPING] Mmm.

Every time.

Okay, so...

You've heard of Tommy Comet's, right?

The diner chain that went belly up.

Yeah, well,

I have just closed a deal
to buy all of their facilities,

which means

that we can take them over and open
up Pop's diners across the country ASAP.

Instant franchising.

Investors are lined up and
we're good on the financials.

So all I need from you,
Tabitha, is an immediate yes.

Alexandra, this is amazing news.

But what? Just say yes.

The thing is, your timing...

I just think it's a lot
to take in right now.

[PHONE RINGING]

Okay. And this is
one of my investors right now.

Um, I'm staying at the Five Seasons.

Think on it. But you
have ten hours to decide.

And I promise you this is truly
the opportunity of a lifetime.

Hi, this is Alexandra.

There you go.

All done.

So does this mean I'm a real Serpent now?

[SIGHS]

Not just the Serpent.

Serpent King.

Anthony, you're our son.

And you've got the best sh*t
of surviving whatever's coming.

And it's up to you to make sure
the Serpents don't die out,

and being king is your birthright,

and that's why it's up to you
to make sure that our legacy,

our legacy, continues, okay?

Yes, Mom.

[BOTH] Return to us, Spirit from beyond.

Abigail Blossom, we asked to correspond.

We seek your wisdom, help
an insight appear before us,

sister of the night.

Pray tell, why have I been conjured?

Abigail, hi.

We need your help.

An evil sorcerer has called
a comet down upon us

and bound us to this town
so that no one can leave it.

Good.

Why for should I help you?

Listen, I think we may have
gotten off on the wrong foot.

So, yes, I'm asking you
to show a little mercy.

Also I'll free you
from that ceramic hell doll.

A long, long time ago,
when I was still alive,

I spent the most sublime evening
with my beloved Thomas in a.

She was an astronomer and
a scientist as well as a witch.

It's called Bailey's Comet.

[SIGHS] It's... beautiful.

Just like you.

What's it made of?

Ice, my love.

Comets are made of ice.

I hear what goes on in this house.

You possess the power
of the Phoenix, don't you?

As soon as the comet gets close
enough to Earth, project your power at it.

And melt it?

That's kind of basic,
but also kind of genius.

But if it is to work, it will
require all of your Phoenix power.

And such an effort will come at a cost.

What about Percival's trap?

Can you help us undo his binding spell?

Mayhap, though that will take
a greater effort to undo.

Therefore, in exchange, I will require

something more
than an appeal and my freedom.

Okay, we're listening.

[CHERYL] All my underworlders!

Any luck finding a safe passageway out?

Not yet.

Every time we follow a tunnel that leads us

to what should be the edge
of town, we hit the barrier.

Luckily, I may have divined a
pathway through our little conundrum.

Come, come. Everyone's
gathered at Thorn hill.

Listen up, Riverdalians.

Thanks to some ancestral advice,

I believe I might,

might be able to melt the
comet with my Phoenix powers.

Whoa, that's incredible news.

And there may also be a way
to undo Percival's binding spells

so that we can evacuate the town.

But, Toni, you and I need
to speak about that privately.

Okay.

Hold on. Is it really as easy
as melting the comet?

No, Veronica.

There is one huge catch.

It will take all of my Phoenix
energies to extinguish Bailey's Comet,

which means if I successfully
melt the comet,

one or more of the dead I've
resurrected will surely perish.

What? Wait. Why?

Because it is my powers that are
keeping the resurrected dead alive.

Who knew?

So, who is on the chopping block

exactly?

Archie.

Jughead.

Polly.

My Nana.

Dagwood.

Alice.

Frank, Sheriff Keller,

Fangs and Toni,

if Riverdale is to live, one or many of you

or your loved ones, must die.

[TONI] What can I do to help, Cheryl?

My ancestor, the witch, Abigail Blossom,

is going to help us figure out
a way to break Percival's spell

and escape Riverdale's borders.

But first, she wants to spend
one final evening

with her beloved in carnal form,

and we need two vessels to make that happen.

I would be Abigail's

and you, pending your agreement,

would be her beloved

Thomas in a Topaz, your ancestor
who was also a witch.

Okay, but what about Fangs and Heather?

Well, Heather's a witch.

So she's kind of fine
with whatevs. As for Fangs...

it isn't technically cheating.

I mean, our souls will be elsewhere.

Okay. And where would our souls be, exactly?

Not to worry.

Heather will keep our spirits in
a jar until the lovemaking ends.

[DOOR THUDS]

There you are.

Mom, you, you shouldn't be here.

What are you talking about?

Why are you covered in dirt?

I'm on a job.

Let me get cleaned up.

Archie,

one of the reasons why I came back was

I want to tell you that Brooke
and I are getting a divorce.

What? What happened?

I thought you two got along great.

Oh, we do get along.

Just we also both realize
that we don't want to spend

the rest of our lives together,
and it's okay.

You know, it happens.

But life... life is precious.

And you don't want to waste a single minute.

You know?

Cheers, Daddy.

And hopefully, whatever happens,

we don't cross paths in the afterlife.

[SIGHS]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

What's going on?

Good news about the comet, I hope?

No, um...

personal news actually.

I'm going to ask Betty to marry me.

- What?
- Yeah.

- Today?
- I was going to use a ring my dad gave me,

but I lost it, probably in the expl*si*n.

So since I don't have a lot of time,

I was wondering if you might
still have some rings

from the jewelry shop you used to run.

- Uh...
- I'm sorry if that's a weird thing to ask.

No, no, not at all.

Um, actually...

Yeah.

You're in luck, Archie.

I have an amazing diamond ring in my
personal stash that Betty would flip for.

But franchising Pop's has been your dream.

You've been protecting the diner all year.

This is the best way
to ensure its longevity.

Honestly, as long as there's a
giant hunk of ice hurtling towards us,

I'm not committing to anything,

though, I do appreciate you
willing to be the Jack to my Rose.

Who?

Jack and Rose,

from Titanic, Leonardo
DiCaprio, Kate Winslet.

Oh.

Jack dies so that Rose
can fulfill all of her dreams

like flying solo around the world.

Never seen the Titanic.

- What?
- I know, I know.

I'm more partial to, like,
early James Cameron.

Jughead, you've gotta be kidding.

The Titanic is one of my
favorite movies of, like, all time.

We have to watch it.

- We have to watch it.
- Yes.

Isn't that, like, four hours long?

Three hours and minutes.

Look, I know the clock is ticking.

But trust me, we need to do this.

If you're ready, let's begin.

Hear ye, hear ye, great above.

Send two spirits deep in love.

Take these vessels for the
night and earthly realm to reunite.

Switch the souls,

let flesh remain, shake thy broom,

that love of flame.

Abigail, can this truly be happening?

Yes.

Yes, my love. This is real.

Come. We have oh so much to catch up on.

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ I just wanna beg for your love ♪

♪ Tearing through the pines ♪

♪ Just to feel somethin' more ♪

♪ Baby, I know
What it's like to feel alone ♪


♪ Waiting for a spark
Just to light up the cold ♪


♪ Wait on the edge of the dark ♪

♪ Can't get enough ♪

♪ Sittin' here watchin' you ♪

♪ Wait on the edge of the dark ♪

♪ Thinkin' 'bout us ♪

♪ Sittin' here watching you ♪

[ARCHIE] And my mom's here.

She's in Riverdale.

Oh, my God, Did you tell her
about the comet?

I didn't. I mean, where would I even start?

Arch, you got to tell her.

Yeah, maybe.

But first...

What are you doing?

We may not have much time,

but I know what I want to do with it.

Marry me.

There's a comet coming.

- And I want to be with you for it.
- Then be with me.

Arch,

I love you so much.

That's not part of my hesitation, okay?

But can we talk about what's
going on with you right now?

You put so much pressure
on yourself to be a hero,

when you already are one.

Sometimes you can't save everyone.

Sometimes you can just be scared.

And that's okay.

It's human.

Do you remember when we were kids

and you asked me to marry you?

And I told you to ask me again
when we turned .

So how about this?

Ask me again

after Cheryl melts that comet

and you and me

and everyone else survives.

Or we find another way out of Riverdale.

Deal?

I'm gonna do that for us.

Where are you going?

[SIGHS] I'm gonna break through
that barrier

so I can marry you,

Betty Cooper.

[SIGHS]

- Cheryl?
- Yes, Toni.

- [SPEAKING FRENCH]
- [IN ENGLISH] Do you remember anything?

No.

- You?
- No.

No, um... Neither do I.

Toni?

- Thank you.
- Of course.

Anything to possibly save the town.

So tell me, dearest ancestor, how
was your tryst with Thomas in a?

Beyond my wildest imaginings.

- Thank you, Cheryl.
- Of course.

But now tell me, how do we
undo Percival's binding spell?

Look there on the altar.

What is that?

The knots represent the various
mystical barriers surrounding the town.

Once the rope is untied completely,

you and the others should be
able to leave Riverdale.

Agent Cooper, it's been a minute.

Drake, hi.

Yeah. Things have only gotten
more insane since TBK.

If you can believe that. What's up?

Director Wilcox wants us to head
up the FBI serial k*ller division.

Oh, my God.

That's quite the promotion.

The thing is, there's a lot going on

in my life right now.

I'm, sort of, in a transitional period.

You know, weighing my options

for the future.

But, Betty, there's no better
hunter of hunters than you are.

I think that chapter of my life is over.

Being a hunter of hunters,

I mean, I don't want that
carved on my gravestone.

[CHUCKLES] I hate asking,
but is this because of Archie


or because TBK messed with your head?

No.

This has nothing to do with TBK or Archie.

This is all... This is me.

It's my decision about how I
want to spend the rest of my life,

- for however long that might be.
- Doing what?


I'm moving towards the light.

Take care, Drake.

And don't be a stranger.

- Bye.
- [CALL CLOSING CHIME]

So, Ronnie, if we survive,

what's the first thing
you're gonna do, you think?

Hmm.

Maybe a shopping
spree in Paris with Katie.

Oh.

- You?
- Get a dog.

- Aw.
- I always wanted one.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Name him... Vader.

- Yeah.
- That's sweet.

Reggie, the reason I asked you over,

should we still be here this time tomorrow,

I want you to have
the Babylonium. Sole ownership.

- Wait. Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

- How come?
- The casino was your idea.

Your baby.

The only thing that's
really mine is my absinthe.

Maybe I'll focus on that.

And should the sun rise tomorrow,

and we find ourselves
no longer business partners,

any chance you and I get back together?

Tempting, but no.

I think it's good we're off
that carousel ride, don't you?

Mmm-hmm.

And besides, if there is
another chapter for me still,

I think it's time for a hard reboot.

On all fronts.

Instead of being so relationship focused,

I'll be single and fabulous and date a lot,

work on my friendship skills.

Starting with,

if you're amenable, you, Reggie.

Yeah, I'm down to be friend
zoned by you, Ronnie.

Good.

Cheers to that, Reggie.

And if you want, when it's
comet time, you can come over

and we can watch the fireworks together.

Sounds good.

- As...
- Yes, Reggie, as friends.

Okay. Just checking.

I had no idea.

Right! It's amazing, isn't it?

You know, you know how it's going to end.

But... it's still a gut punch.

Couldn't they have both held on
to the drift wood of the end, though?

No, because it wouldn't
have supported them both.

Jack knew that they would have sunk, so...

he let go so that Rose could live.

I mean, the resonances are startling.


Only you're alot cuter than Leo.

In my opinion.

Can you just make me a promise?

No matter what happens,
if Cheryl stops this comet

or if I live or I die, that you
take Alexandra up on her offer.

Take Pop's national.

- Jughead.
- I won't be able to die

or live peacefully. If you don't
swear to me, and you're an angel.

So I'm pretty sure that means you can't lie.

Can you just swear,
no matter what happens...

Okay, I swear.

But in exchange, I just want you to agree

to go on one last epic date with me.

Okay, but define epic because
we're trapped in Riverdale

and time is now appallingly finite.

Not for me.

I'm chronokinetic, remember?
All I need is one minute.

- One minute?
- That's all we'll need.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

Archie, why didn't you pick up?

I've been calling you.

Mom, you shouldn't be here.

- You don't understand.
- I do. Betty told me everything.

About Percival, about you dying
and Cheryl bringing you back to life.

I mean, my God, Archie.

- Did she also tell you...
- About the comet?

Yes, Yes, she did.

And about how now, I'm... I'm trapped, too.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I'm sorry you got caught up
in all this insanity.

Archie, none of what
is happening is your fault.

Mom, if you... If anyone dies because
of me, I couldn't live with myself.

Archie, shouldering this guilt,

this responsibility,

it's crazy. Like Betty said,
it's okay to be scared.

But it's not okay to be out
here hiding from the world.

No one loved this town more than Dad.

He built so much of it
with his own two hands.

What do you think he'd be doing
right now if he were me?

Probably exactly what you're
doing, fighting till the end.

But your dad also knew
when to put down his tools

and come home to the people
he loved and who loved him.

We should all be together
for whatever's coming.

Well, Daddykins, it's just you and me.

Figures, it's been a hell of a year.

Your entire body is basically
one giant bio-dialysis machine.

There's a reason you stayed in Riverdale.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Sorry, Daddy, but I just
figured out a way to save my friends.

Amazing.

Well, I can't wait
to start working together.

- Which would be when exactly?
- Tomorrow.

Bright and early,
I thought we could take out

the food truck and post updates on social.

That sounds like a great idea.

Then why the long faces?
What? What am I missing?

[CELL PHONES CHIME]

Cheryl, in the event
that you melt the comet,

I believe I should head back to
Greendale, resume my life there.

Why for would you do that?

Because I saw something.

When we were doing the ritual.
I adore you, Cheryl.

But you and Toni are forever soul mates.

How could you possibly know that?

I'm a witch, silly.

I know these things.

Heather...

you opened my heart again.

Toni's with Fangs anyway.

For now, but you and Toni,

your fate is written in the stars.

It transcends time.

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

[ARCHIE] Thanks for sending my mom to me.

Yeah, it kind of seemed like
a mom-tervention was necessary.

Yeah, my mom thinks I have a hero complex.

She's probably right.

I think it comes from me feeling like
I'll never be able to live up to my dad.

Your dad would be so beyond proud of you.

You've been such a rock for
everyone this year, especially for me.

You supported me. You comforted me.

You loved me unconditionally.

So thank you for that.

I'm sorry for proposing to you
in the middle of all this insanity.

So end of the world or not,

we're on your timeline.
No pressure ever again.

Well, about that, Archie.

Been thinking about my life.

My future, if I have one...

and what I want.

- And?
- And I know I said I wanted to wait...

but will you marry me?

Are you serious?

As serious as a comet
hurtling towards Riverdale,

- yeah.
- Yes!

Yes, I'll marry you.

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

Okay, this is a crazy Hail Mary,

but I may have an idea for
how to bolster Cheryl's power

to, one, improve our chances
of taking down that comet

and, two, augment her Phoenix energies

so that when she uses them up,
no one has to die.

I am so happy you uttered
that sentence and not me.

I'm a human dialysis machine, right?

I pulled the sepsis from Charles'
blood and leached the chemical thujone

out of wormwood to distil
my poison free absinthe.

- Randomly, yes.
- No, not randomly, Bee.

Everything has happened for a reason.

What if I can use my gift
to absorb all of our abilities,

our strengths and give them to
Cheryl to augment her Phoenix power.

Again, the stronger she is, the less
chance her powers will be used up.

And the less chance
one or more of us will die.

But, V, our powers aren't poison
or sepsis that need to be removed.

It's semantics.

Poison, strength, superpowers.
Whatever you want to call them.

It's what you said, Tabitha.

This is why I stayed in Riverdale,

so that I can do this right now
at this exact moment

and maybe maybe the multiverse
gave each of us our specific powers

so that they could come
together, combine and save us.

How would you absorb them?

I would need access to where your
powers are most potent and present,

your blood.

Remember when we all went
to see It at the Bijou?

How the losers club cut their
palms and all held hands in a circle?

We need to do the same.

Wound to wound, blood to blood.

And I will take in
our collective life force.

I can't cut my hand.

I present to you, one dagger of Megiddo.

Fine, but no one is cutting
into my alabaster flesh.

Sorry, there are limits.

Don't worry, Cheryl, I will be
transferring our powers to you via a kiss.

A, that's q*eer baiting and B,
won't your poison kiss k*ll me?

A, it's not q*eer baiting,

it's saving the world and B, pretty sure
your Phoenix power trumps my poison power.

["PLAY" PLAYING]

[JUGHEAD] I don't say what I'm thinking

that for all we know,
giving Cheryl our powers


and her trying to use them all at the
same time may actually make things worse


or have unintended,
devastating consequences.


We simply don't know.

♪ Rrraaa ♪

♪ She know me know me ♪

♪ Kraaa ♪

♪ She hold me hold me ♪

♪ Kraaaa ♪
♪ She show me show me ♪


♪ Just rock and then sway

♪ Look her eyes

[VERONICA] Mmm.

[SIGHS]

Did it work?

Only one way to find out.

- Whoa!
- Whoa, V.

Interesting.

You're threatening me, Veronica,
and I can see an aura around you.

- And I can't.
- Let's go two for two.

The b*llet didn't penetrate.
I'm invulnerable.

[ARCHIE] I guess that means I'm not.

[JUGHEAD] Veronica is nuts!
What if that hadn't worked?


[TABITHA] I should have stayed in Chicago.

I can hear your thoughts.

I think your dialysis worked, Veronica.

In that case, you're as ready
as you'll ever be, Cheryl.

For all our sakes, I pray you're right.

[PORTAL WARBLING]

Toodles.

Mom, Dad.

- I'm scared.
- Hey.

♪ Breathe the air again ♪

♪ It's a beautiful day ♪

♪ I wish this moment would stay ♪

♪ With the earth ♪

- ♪ Some primal paradise ♪
- ♪ Paradise


♪ But there you go again

♪ Saying everything ends

♪ Saying you can't depend on anything ♪

♪ Or anyone ♪

♪ If the end of the world was near ♪

♪ Where would you choose to be? ♪

♪ If there was five more minutes ♪

♪ Of air ♪

♪ Would you panic and hide? ♪

♪ Or run for your life? ♪

♪ Or stand here and spend it with me? ♪

♪ If we had five more minutes ♪

♪ Would I, could I make you happy? ♪

♪ And we would live again ♪

♪ In the simplest of ways ♪

♪ Living day after day like

- ♪ Like some primal animals ♪
- ♪ Animals ♪


♪ We will love again ♪

♪ Under glorious suns ♪

♪ With the freedom
That comes with the truth ♪


♪ If the end of the world was near ♪

♪ Where would you choose to be? ♪

♪ If there was five more minutes ♪

♪ Of air ♪

♪ Would you panic and hide? ♪

♪ Or run for your life? ♪

♪ Or stand here and spend it with me? ♪

♪ If we had five more minutes ♪

♪ Would I, could I make you happy? ♪

♪ So it finally came to pass ♪

♪ I saw the end of the world ♪

♪ Saw the madness unfold ♪

♪ Like some primal burial ♪

♪ And I looked back upon ♪

♪ Armageddon ♪

♪ And the moment of truth
Between you and me ♪


♪ If we had five more minutes ♪

♪ Of air to breathe ♪

♪ And we cried all through it ♪

♪ But you spend them with me ♪

♪ On our last few drags ♪

♪ Of air we agree ♪

♪ I was, and you were, happy ♪

Let the fire within me blaze in glory

and project upon what's come before me,

combined with the gifts
from each of my allies,

keep this comet from
falling out of the skies.

Let the fire within me blaze in glory

and project upon what's come before me,

combined with the gifts
from each of my allies,


keep this comet from
falling out of the skies.


Let the fire within me blaze in glory,

and project upon what's come before me,

combined with the gifts
from each of my allies,

keep this comet from falling from the skies.

Let the fire within me blaze in glory,

keep this comet from
falling out of the skies.

[JUGHEAD] So what happened next?

Did Cheryl, with our combined
strengths, melt the comet?


And did Veronica's last-minute plan
to augment Cheryl's Phoenix powers


save our loved ones' lives?

[ALARM CLOCK RINGING]

The answer is yes.

- [TURNS ON RADIO]
- ["ONLY YOU" PLAYING]

♪ Only you

[JUGHEAD] But I suspect that the

milkshake-like
combination of all of our gifts


arcane magic, time-traveling,
opening portals into other dimensions


did something wholly unexpected

and yet also utterly inevitable.

Riverdale and its citizens survived
the ultimate battle between good and evil


and it was still our Riverdale.

But somehow, we were in a different time.

Maybe to survive

we had to go back to a simpler time.

Before Jason Blossom's m*rder before the
Black Hood, back to a truly innocent time.


Mom, what's wrong, what's going on?

I just heard the news on the radio.

And it's in the morning paper.
It's so awful, Archie.

He d*ed.

He was so talented and so young.

Who's dead?

Who d*ed?

James Dean.

[JUGHEAD] It was true.

The night before, the actor
and teen idol James Dean


had d*ed in a car crash in California.

Somehow the year is ,
and somehow Archie Andrews


and all of his friends, me
included, are teenagers again


and I'm the only one who
remembers what our lives were like BC.


Before the comet.
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