06x21 - Lucy Helps Ken Berry

[bunniefuu]

[ANNOUNCER READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]

ANNOUNCER:
Co-starring Gale Gordon.

Hello, Theodore.

Oh, hello, Mr. Cheever.
What's new?

Well, unless you can
explain okaying this loan,

the man standing behind
your desk will be new.

- What loan?
- This loan for $ .

They've filed bankruptcy
proceedings and left us holding the bag.

Oh, uh, sir, this
is dated April th.

That's when I was
away on vacation.

Nevertheless, the initial
okay came from this office.

Well, now, TJM, yes.

I don't remember...

Mrs. Carmichael!

Mr. Mooney, when
you left me in charge

you told me to
use my initiative.

- I was only trying to help the bank.
- Help the bank?

Yes, sir. When a man came in to
ask for a loan to open a doughnut shop,

it sounded like a good
investment at the time.

Doughnut shop!

Why did a doughnut shop sound
like such a good investment?

Well, Mr. Mooney
always taught me

that timing in a business
deal is very important,

and at the time the man told me
about opening the doughnut shop,

I was starving.

Well, you initiate any
more bad loans in this office,

and you really will be starving.

Let that be a lesson to you.

And you'll be starving
right along with her!

Phew. Well, I hope
you're satisfied.

Oh, I'm sorry.

But I'm only human. Haven't
you ever made a mistake?

I'll thank you to keep
my wife out of this.

Now, you get to work
while you still have a job!

Hi, Mrs. Carmichael.

Oh, hello.

- Gee, it's good to see you again.
- Thank you.

I want you to meet
my boss, Mr. Mooney.

Mr. Mooney, this is Mr. Jones.

- You're just the man I wanted to see.
- Oh, about what?

About the loan I made to
finance my dancing school.

A dancing school?

Uh, yes, sir. I have his
file right here, Mr. Mooney.

It's the Ken Jones
Dancing School.

Really? I don't recall any
transaction of this kind.

Well, Mr. Jones applied for the
loan while you were out of town.

Not another one.

Well, now you can see
he's a very reliable person.

Thank you. Mr. Mooney, I
have a $ payment that's due.

Oh, fine.

- I'd like to ask for a little more time.
- What?

Well, I've been
having a little...

According to this contract,
the payment was due yesterday.

But sir, this is the first time
I've ever asked for an extension.

It's your first payment!

Well, they're
always the toughest.

Yeah, they sneak
up on you so fast.

I had such a terrible
time with my TV set.

Oh, please, will you be quiet!

I'll be in a terrible mess if
Mr. Cheever hears about this.

Yo... Oh.

Sir, all I need is
a little more time.

It takes a while for a business
like a dancing school to get started.

Oh, I'm not interested
in your problems.

I'll simply have to foreclose
and liquidate your assets.

What assets?

The equipment you have
listed right here as collateral.

Oh, you mean the stuff I've got
stored in the back of my place.

What kind of stuff is it?

I don't know. It used
to be a doughnut shop.

A doughnut shop?

Oh, that's going to be nice
to explain to Mr. Cheever.

Now, look, Mr. Mooney,

if you went to the Loan Department
and asked for a little extension,

then maybe Mr. Jones would
have time to make his first payment

and Mr. Cheever wouldn't
have to know about it.

Oh, no, I don't
think I could do that.

Well, now, you've always said
that the financial structure of a bank

is built on helping
small business.

With your kind of help, this bank
will become a small business.

Oh, all right, I'll see what I can
do. I won't guarantee anything.

I don't know why I
get into these messes.

Oh, Mrs. Carmichael, I'm sorry
I caused you all this trouble.

Oh, now, it's not your fault,

but you did seem so
confident, heh, you know,

when you told me about
opening your dancing school.

Well, I just guess I didn't have
enough money to get started.

You know, I can't afford to
advertise my school on television.

To get pupils I have to
depend on word of mouth.

Oh, well, maybe I can
help. I got a big mouth.

How much are your lessons?

Well, I give a course of lessons

that's guaranteed to teach
a full routine for only $ .

Oh, well, you can put me down.

Oh, no, Mrs. Carmichael,
you've done enough for me.

No, now listen, I would
love to take lessons.

Twenty-five dollars,
there you are.

Gee, thank you. Heh.

Just for that, I'm going to see
that you star in my first recital.

Star! Oh, my goodness.

Well, what kind of
dancing do you teach?

- It's professional dancing.
- Like what?

A variation of tap, soft-shoe.

Um, I think I can show you better
than I can tell you. Uh, let me see.

[HUMMING]

What are you doing?

I'm sorry, sir.

Oh, Mr. Mooney, everything
is going to be all right.

I just bought $ worth
of dancing lessons.

That's all I need,
you in a tutu.

If I can only get nine more students,
I'll be able to make the first payment.

Well, you have exactly ten
days. I got the extension for you.

- Oh!
- Good.

After that, any delinquent loans will
be referred to Mr. Cheever's office.

Well, don't you worry,
I'll go to everybody I know

and ask them to
take dancing lessons.

Oh, here, take some of my
cards. Pass them around.

Oh, Mr. Mooney, if I could borrow
a little more money for advertising...

Get out of here!

Ow!

- Miss, I'd like to cash a check, please.
- Yes, sir.

- I have some identification right here.
- Oh, you don't need any identification.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I recognize you from
your television program.

- You're Ralph Story.
- That's right.

Oh, my, I just love all those programs
you do about places of interest.

Thank you.

The one you did the other
day on the, uh, date grove.

About the sex life of the date.

I found that very enlightening.

And the one about the little steamer
that goes to Catalina. I loved that.

Have you made that trip?

No, I've never been abroad.

- There's your money.
- Thank you very much.

Eh! Hey, Mr. Story.
Hey, you remember me?

Sure I do. Tony's Pizza Parlor!

That's a-right!

How are things going?

You know, since you made
your show from my pizza parlor,

my business, you know,
she's a-double up three times.

I'm glad to hear that, Tony.

That's the most
gratifying part of my work.

Nice to see you,
Mr. Story, and thanks again.

Not at all. Nice
to see you again.

- Mr. Story?
- Yes?

Just from being seen on your
program, Tony got all that new business?

Well, it's amazing the results
exposure on television gets.

You know, I think I have a
wonderful idea for your program.

You, too.

Well, we're always
looking for new ideas.

Oh, good. I'm taking
dancing lessons.

I think you should feature a dancing
school recital on your program.

It would be very entertaining.

You know, we've never
done a dance recital.

You'd better do it before
somebody else beats you to it.

How soon could you put it on?

- What do you mean how soon?
- Well, like maybe within ten days?

Possibly.

Come to think about it, I do
need something for next week.

We were going to do a
program about a doughnut shop

but it went out of business.

You should have gotten there
sooner. You could have saved them.

Now, look, I think a dance recital
is a good human interest story.

And your audience will have a
chance to see a star being born.

A star being born?

Yeah, well, if not, I'm
throwing away bucks.

Oh! Well, we can't let
that happen, can we?

- Then you'll do it?
- You've sold me.

I'll schedule it for
next week's program.

- Mr. Story, how nice. Thank you.
- Here's my card. Just call.

- Thank you.
- Bye, now.

Mr. Mooney, I've got
the most wonderful news.

You've been drafted.

No.

Ralph Story is featuring a recital
from Ken Jones' dancing school.

And it'll be on his program next
week. Do you realize what that means?

- What?
- The school will be a big success.

- You're forgetting one thing.
- What's that?

You have to have pupils to put on
a recital. And so far he only has you.

Heaven help him.

Now, please get to work.

Oh, sir, you
dropped an envelope.

Oh!

Oh, thank you very much, lady.

- You know what's in this envelope?
- What?

Fifty-two hundred bucks
of the union's money.

- Oh! Heh.
- It's the truck driver's recreation fund.

Oh well, I'm glad I was
a help to someone today.

Help? Lady, you saved my life.

If there's anything I can
ever do for you, just name it.

Okay.

Sir. Sir. Um...

I wonder if you would be interested
in taking some dancing lessons.

Dancing lessons!

Oh, no, lady, you've got the
wrong guy. I got two left feet.

Would some of the other fellows in
your union like to learn how to dance?

Those road jockeys?

They've been sitting behind
a steering wheel for so long,

they haven't even
learned to walk.

I only need enough pupils to put
on a recital, maybe just ten or twelve.

Uh, hey, you said if I ever
needed anything, just name it.

Well, as a true knight of the
road, I'm a gentleman of me word.

You'll do it?

Tell me where it is and I'll persuade
some of the boys to come over.

Oh, good, I'll give
you the address.

There you are.

And, uh, do you really think
you can persuade them?

If I can't persuade them,

I'll nudge them a little.

Oh, thank you.

[SINGING] Nothing's
impossible, we have found

For when your
chin is on the ground

Just pick yourself
up, dust yourself off

Sid.

- Come on, I'll show you that step.
- Okay.

Now remember, it's
syncopated, right?

Now, we start on
the right foot. Ready?

[HUMMING]

- Oh, hi, Mrs. Carmichael.
- Hi.

- Mr. Mooney.
- Hi.

Got a pupil, huh?

No, he's my partner.
Come on over and meet him.

Sid Howard, this
is Mrs. Carmichael.

- Mrs. Carmichael.
- And Mr. Mooney, from the bank.

How do you do?

He must be ready to
foreclose. I can tell by his smile.

[ALL LAUGH]

Oh, no, we have wonderful news.

I have a whole bunch of pupils
coming over here this afternoon.

That's great.

And Ralph Story wants to feature
a dance recital from your school

on his program next week.

- Ralph Story? LUCY: Yeah!

That would really
put this school across.

What a commercial, huh! You won't
have to worry about the loan anymore.

Who's worried?

As a matter of fact,
I've been doing research

on commercial enterprises that have
been featured on Mr. Story's programs

and the results
were so gratifying

that I would like to invest
in your dance school.

Invest?

Yes. Here's a certified
check for $ .

That should be
worth, oh, half interest.

Half interest?

Oh, well, then, let's
say a third. . percent.

A third interest
is . percent.

It's . percent!

Yeah, ha-ha-ha!

That's more like it.

Does . percent
sound fair, Ken?

It sounds fair.

- Get the money.
- Yeah.

- There you are. It's a deal?
- Yes, it's a deal.

Oh, boy!

With bucks, we can
have wardrobe, costumes.

[WHISTLES]

- Hey!
- This is wonderful.

- Yes?
- This a dancing school?

Yes. Why?

We was told to come down here
and get some dancing lessons.

We was persuaded!

Actually, we was nudged!

Ooh! Oh, these must be the
pupils from the truck driver's union.

Truck driver's union?

Yeah, the recreation group.

Well, uh, okay, fellows,

have any of you ever taken
dancing lessons before?

[ALL LAUGHING]

Okay. Well, we'll
give it a try anyway.

Come on out here in the studio.

Spread out guys, and give
yourselves plenty of room.

Don't stand too close to each other.
All the way over there in the corner.

Good. Yeah. Right.

Spread out now.

Now, look, fellows,

I'm going to give you a very
simple little dance step, see?

Now, I'm going to do it first.

Then we'll break it down
later and you'll learn it.

It's very simple.
Just watch this. And:

[HUMMING]

Now, you think you can do that?

[SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]

Let's try it. Come
on, let's try it.

Mrs. Carmichael, get
me my check back.

No, now, Mr. Mooney,
a deal is a deal.

Now, give him a
chance. Shh, be quiet!

Let's try that step
again, huh, fellows?

You ain't going to make
no twinkle toes out of us.

We're truck drivers,
we drive a truck.

Hey, yeah. Yeah!

Fellows, I've got an idea that will
make it a whole lot easier for all of you.

Now, here, just think of the dance
floor as the floorboard on your truck.

Now, try this with
me, will you? Uh...

Uh, uh...

Here try this.
Step on the clutch.

Yeah, good. Now, on the gas.

Good.

Now, step on the brake,

now back on the clutch again

and the brake.

Kick open the door.

Step out.

Now go back and
try it all over again.

Not bad, fellows. Not bad.

Let's try it again. Sid, give us
a little music, will you please?

Yeah, how about
some trucking music?

[LUCY LAUGHING]

Maybe it would be better
if I just honked a horn.

- Beep-beep, beep.
- Oh, go and play.

Mrs. Carmichael, you may as
well come in. You're a pupil too.

Oh, that's right!

What gear, first,
second or high?

Sid, just give me a pick-up.
Real slow about, uh...

[HUMMING]

Now, the clutch and
the gas, and the brake,

and the clutch again.

The brake, kick open the door,

Step out and try it over again.

The clutch and the gas, and
the brake and the clutch again...

And the brake. And the clutch.

[SCREAMING]

[APPLAUSE]

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

Ralph Story here in Los Angeles.

Tonight our program is slightly
smaller than The Birth of a Nation,

but slightly larger
than the birth of a baby.

In show biz terms, we
call it "a star is born"

and it proves once
again that a little

luck, a little talent
and a little hard work

will get you absolutely nowhere.

Now, our future star is a bank
employee named Mrs. Carmichael,

assisted by Ken Jones,
the dancing master

and representatives
of the local trucking union

who drive by day
and dance by night.

So, you see, this is one show
that really should be on the road.

So lights, music and curtain.

[UP-TEMPO JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

ALL [SINGING]: To look
at us you'd never think

That we are working stiffs

On account of we've
got So much class

No "ands" or "buts" or "ifs"

When hauling loads,
out on the roads

We're rough, we're
tough we swear

When the work is done
And we've made our run

We become quite debonair

We manicure our fingernails

Put lilac on our faces

Thanks to dancing lessons

We've acquired social graces

[APPLAUSE]

So now let's hear a fanfare

For the chap our local knows

The man who
taught us savoir faire

Put the twinkle in our toes

Steppin' out with my baby

Can't go wrong
'cause I'm in right

It's for sure, not for maybe

That I'm all dressed up tonight

Steppin' out with my honey

Can't be bad to feel so good

Never felt quite so sunny

And I keep on knocking wood

There'll be smooth sailing
'Cause I'm trimmin' the sails

With a bright shine on
my shoes And on my nails

Steppin' out with my baby

Can't go wrong,
'cause I'm in right

Ask me when will the day be

The big day will be tonight

Glad I got my new tuxedo pressed

Glad we shined the
buttons on our vests

'Cause tonight we've
got To look our best

Lucy's back in town

Used to be I
couldn't dance at all

Never got invited to a ball

But I'm learning
now, so grab a wall

Lucy's back in town

Didn't know her left
foot from her right

Had to be a
stay-at-home each night

Now she's so way
out She's out of sight

Lucy's back in town

And so we see, from this recital
at the Ken Jones Dancing School

that the birth of a star and
success in show business

is mostly a matter of just
putting the right foot forward

and throwing a lot
of weight around.

Incidentally, Ken, the
phone's been ringing backstage

and civic groups, union groups,
recreation clubs, they've all called

and they'd all like to put
their feet in your hands.

- Oh, heh. Hey, we've got it made!
- Ha, ha.

Yeah!

[UP-TEMPO JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

ALL [SINGING]: Nothing's
impossible we have found

For when your
chin is on the ground

Just pick yourself up

Dust yourself off

And start all over again

Work like a soul inspired

Till the battle of
the day is won

You may be sick and tired

But you'll be a man, my son

Pick yourself up

Dust yourself off

And start all over again

[APPLAUSE]

[ANNOUNCER READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]