04x18 - d*ck 'The Mouth' Solomon

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it comes.

Hey. Wow! Ooh!

That looks really, really good.

What a big portion! I love it.

I'll bring some extra plates.

Extra plates?

It's family style. You share.

Wait, share? No,
no, we don't share.

Suit yourselves.

God, what kind of
crappy restaurant

Makes you share your food?

Well, I ordered sausages,

And I'm going to
eat my sausages.

All 10 of them.

Oh, now, stop this!

The waitress said
it was family style.

We're supposed to be a family,

So let's eat like one.

Sally, go get some extra plates.

d*ck, this is weird. I
don't think it's a good idea.

Go!

Excuse me.

I'll be right with you.

I just need some extra plates.

Hey, gimme a sec, huh?

Hey, kid, the lady
asked for plates.

I suggest you
bring her plates...

Now.

Sorry, sam.

Right away.

Wow, that was great.

My name is sammy marchetti.

My name is sally marchetti.

Sol... Sally solomon.

Meeting you has been
my extreme pleasure.

I do hope our paths
cross again soon.

Ciao bella.

I just... I just met the most
incredible man at the bar.

Well, he's not getting
any of our food.

All right, everybody,
ready... Set...

And... Share!

Don't touch my
food, you buzzard!

And so they served us these
balls made entirely of meat.

Have you seen these?

Uh, yeah.

They're shaped like,
say, a tennis ball.

Have you seen these?

Of course I have.

But you don't play with them,

You eat them. You've seen these?

Many times!

Well, it sure sounds
like you haven't.

Hi, d*ck.

Oh, mary,

The food at sul
panno's was wonderful.

You should have come.

I would have loved to.

Well, I asked, but you said

You didn't want to intrude.

But then you're supposed to say,

"Don't be silly. You
wouldn't be intruding."

But then... Then you'd be there,

Feeling like an intruder.

Not if you told me I wasn't.

Well, you weren't.
Well, you didn't.

Well, you wouldn't.
Well, I couldn't.

Well...

I'm sorry, I'm lost.

d*ck.

We... We have trouble
communicating.

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

We don't communicate.

I've been considering
this for awhile,

And I think it's a good idea

That we get away and reconnect.

"The institute at mason farm?

A couples' retreat?"

What is this?

Well, if we want this
relationship to work,

It's important that you...

And by you, I mean "we,"

Learn to listen to me. Us.

Mary, have you seen those balls

Made entirely of meat?

Why do you have to go away

To learn how to
talk to each other?

Well, it seems that
for human couples

To communicate
on an intimate level,

They have to be in a
room full of strangers.

So, basically, it's a
money-sucking sham.

I'm not paying.

Hey, y'all.

Vicki, what's up?

Whatcha looking at here?

Oh! The institute at mason farm?

You know, I hear that
they have a jacuzzi there

That totally cleanses
your whole soul.

But the weird thing is...

There's no water in it.

d*ck, can we go?

Absolutely.

If I have to talk about
my problems to strangers,

I prefer they be people I know.

Well, let's go get packing.

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Hey, dubey.

Sally, uh, you got a package.

A package?

It's a dress.

A dress?

Here's the card.

"For the prettiest
doll in the world.

I'll pick you up at 8:00.
Love, sammy marchetti."

Sammy "the butcher."

Got to be careful, honey,

He is hot-blooded.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sammy "the butcher" marchetti?

That's a cute name.

Sally, don't... Don't you see?

That's... That's a mob nickname.

Like, from the movies.

What?

This guy, he's like a goodfella.

A wiseguy.

He's a hit man.

Oh, my god.

I know.

That is so cool!

Isn't it? Oh, my god!

Sure get a lot of
respect, don'tcha?

Well, it's what
it's about, sally.

Yeah.

Respect.

People are good to me.

I'm good to them.

People are bad to me.

Well, they're not
going to be happy

With what I give them, you know.

That's how it works.

Sammy?

Yes, my love?

Tell me about your work.

Sally, listen to me.

I'm only gonna
tell you this once.

Don't ever ask me
about my business!

You understand me? The
less you know, the better.

You hear me?

Oh, yeah, mm-hmm,
yeah, ok, ok, I'm sorry.

All right, then.

Ok. Good.

Sorry.

Eat! Mangia. Mangia.

Oh, does everybody
feel what I feel?

This place is just
a whirling vortex

Of... Of spirituality and truth.

Dr. Albright...

Can you see my aura?

No, but your bra
strap is showing.

Come on, vicki.

Let's go get a
personality manicure.

I can't believe you let
me talk you into paying.

So, uh, sammy, you want
something to drink?

Espresso? Cappuccino?

Coffee's fine.

Oh, good, 'cause I
don't know how the hell

To make an espresso
or a cappuccino, so...

You're funny. I like that.

You're scary. I like that.

Huh, a gnome, huh?

Yeah, they must be german.

That's all right.
We'll work on that.

Hey, sally, I rented the
godfather and goodfellas. Aah!

It's you.

So, what are you, like,
uh, sally's brother?

No, no, I think...

Yeah, I'm supposed
to be the nephew.

Nephew, huh? Yeah.

So, nephew...

I'd kinda like to hang
around a little bit

And get to know your
aunt a little better.

How'd you like to make
yourself, uh, 20 clams?

What do I have to do?

Go to sul panno's restaurant.

You tell him sammy sent you.

They will give you an envelope.

I want you to take
that envelope,

Return it to me at
this address. You in?

Yes, I'm definitely in.

Don't mess it up.

I don't believe this.

I am a wiseguy!

And we stop. Good.

Ok, everybody, tell you what.

Let's everybody take a
seat on the floor here.

Good. That's it. Yeah.

Now, the first key
to opening the door

Of communication
with your partner

Is to tell that person
what really scares us.

But that's hard, isn't it?

All: yeah.

That's why we're here.

To take the fear out of fear.

You know what I'd like?

To take the fat out
of peanut butter.

It's... It's so fattening.

d*ck, this isn't
about peanut butter.

It's about something bigger.

Ok, vicki, how about you?

Oh, me?

Sure, yeah. Tell harry
what you're afraid of.

Oh, ha ha.

Well, I don't really
know how to...

I'm afraid you're going
to stop loving me, harry!

Ok, I'm afraid of spiders.

Certain kinds of cheeses.

And that you're going
to stop loving me, too!

Don't be afraid.

I... Sometimes I'm afraid.

Oh, good.

What are you afraid of, d*ck?

Well, before I met mary,

She had something of a
reputation for sleeping with,

Well, pretty much anyone on the
other side of a glass of chardonnay.

d*ck, that's not appropriate.

Now, mary, we're
here to open up,

Not to shut down.

Sometimes he doesn't
know when to stop.

Well, maybe that's because
you don't know when to listen.

What?

Oh, yeah, yeah, she
does do that a lot.

Tells me I'm wrong.

Tells me to shut up.

It's true. She does that.

Sometimes I feel like...

I don't even know how to
behave like a real human being.

Sometimes I wonder
what am I doing here?

Why am I on this planet?

Am... Am I a good person?

Am I a person at all?

You know, doubting
you're a person

Makes you even more of a person.

But I'm afraid.

Of what?

That she'll never love
me for what I really am!

[Crying]

Incredibly honest, d*ck.

No!

Very nice.

Now, mary, what
do you have to say?

If you people knew
what he was really like,

You wouldn't be on his side.

All: aw!

Now you're playing
the blame game, mary.

And you know what? Nobody wins.

No, no, no, no. I was just
trying to point out that he...

I'm also afraid of
plastic garbage bags

And velcro.

Come here, baby.

[Buzz]

[Siren]

Nephew!

Yo, vito! Sul panno's ordered 20
pounds of veal and a dozen t-bones.

Let's get choppin'.

Everyone creates for
themselves an outer shell.

Ok? It stops growth.
It stops communication.

It stops love.

I'll tell you what. Let's have
everybody grab an inner tube.

And let's see what it feels like

To have somebody
bump into your shell.

Yeah, that's good. Sure.

Ok, now, everybody,
close your eyes

And start moving
around the room.

Good. Good. Good.

Faster. Fast pace.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Oh!

Good. Get off of me!

Mary!

Transcend the anger.

We're here to help you
work on your problems.

That's not why we're here!

We're here for him.

He's the one with the problems.

He's the one that needs help.

I'm not crazy. He is!

But mary, I'm only
trying to be real.

All: oh!

[Sighs]

What are we doing, sammy?

What?

What are we doin', huh?

I like you, you like
me, what are we doin'?

I'll tell you what
we're doing. Come here.

I gotta go.

What? Where you gotta go?

Work. A man's gotta work.

But we're eating dinner.
What do you gotta do?

Hey, I told you never
ask me about my business!

Why? Who goes to work
at 10:00 at night, huh, who?

It's a special job I gotta do.

Well, what is this,
sammy? Tell me, please.

The people I serve don't
want to know the details.

They just want the job done, ok?

Now forget about it.

Oh!

Please, sammy.

Please, let me into your life.

I don't think you're
ready to handle it.

Oh!

Would you like any dessert?

Dessert?

Look at me. I'm crying.

I'm a wreck. I'm upset.

I'll have the gelato.

I called in an order
about an hour ago,

Don orville.

Oh, yeah, that's $12.95.

Officer don orville?

Scusi, my mistake.
It's been paid for.

Smells good in here.

Sally!

Oh, my god, don.

Sally, what's wrong?

No, don't sit. Are you
crazy? This is his booth.

Sally, what's gotten into you?

Oh, god, don, it's
my new boyfriend.

Oh, back on your feet already.

Well, good.

Good for you.

Where's my eggplant?

Listen to me, don, you've
got to get out of here.

He comes back
and finds you here,

There's no telling
what he might do.

Sally, I'm a cop.

What could he possibly do to me?

He will k*ll you.

I got your envelope here.

I think that this
is your envelope.

Hey, you want your envelope?!

Oh, hey, tommy.

Look at you. Where you going?

Nowhere.

You going on another
run for sammy?

What's it to you?

What's it to me?

I am family.

Well, I got a new family now.

Oh, mary mother of god.

This is all my fault.

I gotta get us out of this.

I gotta break up with sammy.

Break up with sammy?

Nobody breaks up with sammy!

Sammy breaks up with
you is how it happens!

Sammy breaks up with...

Don't you get fresh
with your aunt sally!

[Door slams]

Dumb broad.

Tommy, what's going
on around here?

What's sally got herself
into? Tell me, tommy!

Hey, watch the suit here.

Hey, where did you get the dough

For such a snazzy jacket?

Never ask me about my business.

What happened to you?!

You used to be such a good kid.

Now look at you.

Look, don, we come from 2
different worlds, you and me,

And I don't think we should be
seen together no more. Capisce!

Let me lay out the cold,
hard facts for you, tommy.

If you're involved in
something criminal,

There's a 1 in 5 chance
you'll be caught.

If you're prosecuted, there's a
2% chance you'll be convicted.

So don't play with fire.

Look, you played
by the rules, don,

And what do you
got to show for it?

Nothin'.

Nothin'. Well, that's
not going to be me.

You understand?

But tommy...

Don't call me tommy.

From now on, I'm the nephew.

Damn!

Come on, mary.

But d*ck, they don't like me.

But they want to.
Come on, do this for us.

And that's why we need to
understand each other when we fight,

So that we can fight...

All: fair.

Yes, very nice.

Dennis, may I interrupt?

When you ask to interrupt,

You're only interrupting what?

All: yourself.

Very nice.

I'm just going to go...

No, no, no, no.

Wait, my friends, we, all of us,

Have failed someone here.

We didn't embrace mary
when she needed us.

It's no big deal.

There's...

There's love in this room, mary.

Open yourself up to it.

No.

It's your turn.
You've got the floor.

Well, now...

It's just so...

All: hard.

But we're here to listen.

Whenever I shared a deep
feeling with, uh, my family,

They'd always use it against me.

Her parents are horrible
people. Just awful.

We didn't... We didn't talk.

We... We didn't share
feelings, open up.

This is your chance. Try.

All... All my life,
I've... I've had this...

Facade of the beautiful,
tough, has-it-all lady.

When deep inside I'm...

I'm just a fat, little girl

Who wants to be
loved at all costs.

Oh!

[Crying]

I'm so proud of you, mary.

Thank you, d*ck. I love you.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Who's the king?

All: you are!

Drinks in my room!

All: yay!

Tommy, stay away from the door.

What are you doin' here, sally?

I'm getting us out
before it's too late.

Oh, my god. Look at you.

Sally, you were never
supposed to see me like this.

I knew it would disgust you.

Does doing what you do
make you feel like a big man?

Does it?!

What's going on?

Don, get back.

Ok.

Who's the tough
guy now, huh, sammy?

Sally, what are you doing?

He's a mobster, don.

Sammy? He's a butcher.

Yeah, yeah, I was just
cutting up some steaks.

Is that what you call
the people you k*ll...

Steaks?

No, uh, it's meats, sally.

You know, cows, pigs.

Is that what you call
the people you k*ll...

Cows and pigs?

Sally!

Listen to me. He's my butcher.

Exactly, don, he's a...

A butcher.

A butcher?

Oh.

Ok.

Well, um...

Guess I won't be
needing the g*n anymore.

Uh... Super sorry.

Oh, my god. There's
someone I know.

I gotta go.

I looked up to you.

You were my hero.

You broke my heart,
sammy. You broke my heart.

So, how was the brisket?

Oh, like butter.

This is a football.

This is a baseball.

This is a tennis ball.

Do you know what this is?

It's a meatball.

No, nina, you're wrong.

It's a ping-pong
ball covered in meat.

Now, this is a meatball.

You are the meatball!

You are the meatball!

She doesn't know
what a meatball is.