12x16 - m*rder Among Friends

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on m*rder, She Wrote.

Young people sitting around all
day long discussing their sexuality.

I know! You've heard horror
stories about working in TV.

They're gonna dump
some people in the cast.

Show biz!

You and Ricki are not
going to spoil my big chance.

Oh, what happened
to my McGuffin?

Are we gonna be playing
games here, Mrs. Fletcher?

Now Ricki is not the easiest
person in the world to deal with.

I decide who lives
and dies around here.

Do they give an Emmy for
Outstanding Wimp of the Year?

No! This does not give you
the right to treat people like dirt!

I think Mr. Hitchcock
just gave me an idea.

Oh, the network's
driving me crazy, Vince.

We're the number
one series on TV.

And just to save a few pennies

they're bugging me to eliminate
some of the series regulars.

I told them, forget it.

So I shouldn't start
looking for another job?

Oh.

Not to worry, honey.

You've got no problem.

Not if you keep
up the good work.

Now the term "McGuffin"
was coined by Alfred Hitchcock.

The McGuffin can
be secret plans,

the photographs,
the Maltese Falcon.

Whatever it is that everyone
else in the story is after.

Let's see how Mr. Hitchcock
used the McGuffin

in one of his most
celebrated films, Notorious,

that was written by Ben Hecht,

starring Cary Grant,
Ingrid Bergman,

and Claude Rains.

Okay.

That'll complete this
segment, Jessica.

Oh, what happened
to my McGuffin?

We'll have to matte in
the clip in post-production.

If we get it.

Look, Rosemary,
if we don't get it,

I will have to re-write
this entire sequence.

Leo told me that
he had it cleared.

Promises, promises!

He probably got hung
up on the big show.

Listen, maybe I better
pop over and see him.

Okay. One cappuccino
and two lattes.

That dynamite blonde from
Copenhagen? You took her out?

And all evening long
all I could think of was

she's got thick ankles.

Ah, you wouldn't even
mention that if she was a guy.

If she was a guy, he wouldn't
have gone out with her.

Ooh, who we slamming?

Okay, everybody, take a break.

Excuse me, have you
seen Leo Vardian around?

Oh, he was up in the
office a few minutes ago.

How is your PBS
lecture series going?

Ask me tomorrow.

I'm Gene Gains.

I took your writing class at
Manhattan University two years ago...

Oh, I'm so sorry, Gene.

Oh, don't feel bad.

Uh, people tend
not to remember me.

You gave me a C+ and told me

that my plot lines
were almost laughable.

Did I say that?

Oh, the best advice I ever got.

I decided to write
comedy instead.

I'm a staff writer here on Buds.

Well, that's wonderful.

Guess I was a better
talent scout than I realized.

Gene! Gene, do me a favor and
watch what I'm doing in this scene.

I'm trying a new
attitude for my character.

Yeah. Yeah, sure, Carly.

So, what's the mood around
here today? Leo breathing fire?

Oh, come on, Leo likes
you... You heard the rumor.

The six Buds are
shortly to be fewer.

Question being, who gets the a*?

Hey, I work right near Ricki. I'd
know if anything like that was going on.

So just chill.

Oh, come on, Leo. Fair is fair.

And I'm not just saying
this because he's my son.

But Timothy did publicize your
show while he was in New York.

So be a sport. Pick
up the tab for the limo...

He was back there
seeing some broad

and he only did
two interviews for us.

You paid for Vince's limo
when he was in Chicago.

Don't talk to me about Vince!

Timothy should have
cleared it with us before he left.

Read it, Leo!

"We're here for you." Now
you and Ricki are always talkin'

about these kids being family,
so don't throw them away.

Roy, I'm really late.

We're talking 900
lousy bucks here!

Maybe it's just me, but
I always feel one down

negotiating with a
man wearing a g*n.

It goes with my day job.

So are we okay here, Leo?

Have Timothy submit
the bill. We'll pay 500.

Perry, 30 million people like
the show exactly the way it is

and yes, I know the network
has fiscal approvals, but...

Ricki, just think about it.

Okay, okay. I'll at
least think about it.

Talk to you later.

Maybe it'd work.

We'd save a truckload
of money each week.

Dropping two of our six
cast regulars is ridiculous!

It's like trying to do The Three
Musketeers with only one swordsman!

We're gonna destroy
all the chemistry.

They're not equally
funny, you know.

Take Vince, for
instance, he's a lox.

A lox who draws 27,000
fan letters per week.

Come on, Leo, you're
supposed to be on my side.

Ricki, you gotta understand the
network's under new management.

They're under pressure
to tighten purse-strings...

Well, maybe we could save
some money by f*ring you.

How come you talk nice
to everybody but me?

Because you're my husband.

My all-trusting
pillar of strength.

Did I even ask you what
time you got home last night?

But you were thinking it.

So, just for the record, I was
right here, burning the midnight oil,

making us both richer.

This is Ricki.

Ricki, they need
you on the set now.

Yeah, uh, I'll be right there.

Gotta go down to the set.

Madame Director doesn't
understand some of the jokes.

Alex, she said she worked late.

Uh, that's a coincidence,
'cause so did I.

Dad, I wish you'd stay out
of these things, you know.

I've got an agent.

And who stays on top of him?

Look, Timmy, you're the
good cop and I'm the bad cop.

When there's unpleasant
stuff to be said, that's my job.

Just like it's always
been. Am I right?

Yeah, I guess. But I feel kinda
funny taking any money for the limo.

It was totally personal stuff.

Don't you get it? The more you
get the studio to spend on you,

the more they
think you're worth it.

Leo's always been fair with me.

Hey, wake up! If the nasty
rumor I've been picking up

is true about their
cutting some of the Buds,

then we'd better be lookin'
for some leverage to use

on your so-called pal, Leo.

That is not my style.

Well, maybe it oughta be.

I've gotta get back to work.

Timmy.

Dad, don't do anything that's
gonna cause hard feelings. Okay?

Hey, I can be diplomatic.

You go be creative.

Hello? Records Division, please.

One moment.

Records. Yeah. Records?

This is Lieutenant Flint, do
we have a file on a Leo Vardian?

That's "V" as in vermin,

"A" as in armpit, "R" as in rat.

Leo! There you are! Ah, Jessica.
I was just coming over to see you.

Leo, I realize how
busy you've become,

graduating from our
little PBS show to running

a top five network
comedy series, but...

I know, I've heard the
clip from Notorious fell out,

but we have permission to use Strangers on
a Train instead. I forgot to tell Rosie...

Well, that's fine. I mean, Strangers
on a Train will work just as well.

Jessica, you've been very patient
and I've been very distracted.

Is there anything else you need?

Well, uh, the PBS air-date for
this episode is coming up very fast...

Don't worry, I'll tell Rosie

to take whatever overtime
she needs to make the air date.

Dyan. I'll come
and see you later.

Dyan! You wanted to see me?

Yeah! I have to talk to you!

Show biz!

Uh, well, it's not
totally official yet, Leo.

But I've been offered a
starring role in a feature film.

Rob Reiner's directing.
Isn't that incredible?

When's all this happening?

Uh, well, that's a
teensy problem.

Um, it starts sh**ting right
away. Two months in New Delhi...

You're not going anywhere, Dyan.

You're under contract to
us for the run of the series.

But that's four more years!

A year ago when
nobody ever heard of you,

you were thrilled to sign up.

Look, Dyan, be patient,
there'll be other features.

This show's making
you a superstar.

Girls all over America
are copying your hairdo...

You and Ricki are not
going to spoil my big chance.

I'm just worried that you and
Ricki are gonna get caught.

And Leo can't afford to
blame her, so that leaves you.

Leo is so desperate,
he's capable of anything.

How'd I get tangled
up in this mess?

Look, I can't afford
to offend Ricki.

Don't you see? That's
what she's counting on.

She's just using you...

I know, I know, but
what can I do, Carly?

I mean, you're a real actress,

Shakespeare in the
Park and all that, but me,

I'm just a guy they found
posing for a Jockey shorts ad.

If Ricki kicks me off the show,

no one else'll hire
me as an actor.

No, that's not true.

You're better than you
give yourself credit for.

You think so? Mmm-hmm.

Hi, Carly dear!

Vince, I wrote some new lines
for you that we need to go over.

Excuse us?

You know what black widow
spiders do with their discarded mates?

Yeah. They k*ll them.

Timmy, it really
is a phenomenon.

I mean, who would have
thought a group of 20-something

young people sitting around all
day long discussing their sexuality

would turn out to
be a top TV show?

Come on! There's a whole
lot more to it than that.

There's, you know, the
way we... And the whole...

Ugh, I guess you're right.

But that's what 20-something
people really do! Uh-huh.

Um, Jessica,

the hot word on the set is that

they're gonna dump
some people in the cast.

Well, I heard that rumor, too.

What makes you think
you're gonna be dumped?

Just something in my gut.

Listen, Timmy, I've watched
your growth as an actor

way back from the early
days at Manhattan University.

You have a natural talent

and it doesn't begin or end
with some television comedy,

believe me.

Thanks, Jessica.

I just... I just wish I could
convince my old man of that.

Hi, Mrs. Fletcher.

Hello, Carly. Timmy,
did you get the message?

We've got a 6:00 a.m. call.

On a Wednesday? To do what?

Ricki's thrown out
the entire script.

We'll be reading
a total rewrite.

See you in the morning.

All right, Perry, I'll
give you one body.

We can reduce our
deficits by that much.

I'll k*ll off one Bud.

Who will it be?

Hmm? Which character?

Which one? That'll
be my secret for now.

But don't worry, babe, if I'm
gonna do this, I'll do it right.

It'll be the biggest stunt since
"Who k*lled JR?" Trust me.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

Do I get a vote?

Nope. I decide who lives
and dies around here.

We'll distribute the new
scripts in the morning.

With the final scene missing.

Which I'll write tonight

and put in here,
for safekeeping.

From everyone, including me?

Mmm-hmm.

Our six little monsters,

plus their agents and their
managers and their families

are all gonna be bugging me.

Tell them the truth for
once. That you don't know.

That's so embarrassing, Ricki.

I am supposed to be
co-executive producer.

Then act like one! Field the
flak, don't pass it on to me.

How about I pass
this on to you, instead?

Mmm!

Ooh! That's not my good side.

Why put your little sl*ve
Alex to all this trouble, hmm?

If you'd asked me directly,
I would have told you.

It has got to stop, Ricki.

Before I become a laughing
stock in front of everyone.

Getting laughs is what
we're paid for, love.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have
a very important scene to write.

Damn, this thing is
slow as molasses!

Doin' okay, Leo?

Yeah. Terrific. But
someone else may not be.

I want you to take care
of the situation for me.

Keep closer tabs
on Ricki and Vince?

No, we already did
that. It doesn't work!

What are you saying?

We've got to do more.

Make it go away!

Larry love, you promised to deliver
my new SX-1300 laptop two days ago.

I'm making do with
this 10-year-old clunker.

You'll get it. I promise.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah, okay.

If this was wartime,

I could have you sh*t
for dereliction of duty.

You'll get it today.

Okay. 5:00 today
the latest, hmm?

Want some, Jessica?

Oh. No, thanks.

Working on a series
just devours your life.

I am chained to this desk
from morning to night.

Well, I can imagine that
the rewards of a hit TV show

are commensurate
with its problems.

That's what I want
to talk to you about.

There are several
characters in your books

that I think could combine
to make a riveting TV show.

Would you be interested in
working with me on a new series?

Ricki, I've been through that...

I've noodled a few pages. Just to
give you an idea what I'm talking about.

I think... What?

I got the rewrite on the
video store scene, Ricki.

You said to bring it in soon
as I finish. Hi, Mrs. Fletcher.

Hi, Gene.

When does this,
uh, episode tape?

Tomorrow night. Lord willing.

Boy!

I'm used to working
to deadlines, but, uh...

No. Not only isn't this funny
enough or truthful enough,

but what's this gobbledygook,

"Angling at" this
and "Angling at" that?

It's just, you know,
camera directions.

Well, it's not my style.

And all the scripts should read
as if I wrote every word, hmm?

Right.

Now where were we, Jessica?

Oh, yes. Why don't
you look at this?

We can go over it later.

Ricki, I really don't think...

I know! You've heard horror
stories about working in TV.

Not to worry. You'll
have me to protect you!

Sally, get me Todd in telecine.

Okay, Ricki.

So, I understand that ex-jock
who plays the hunk on Buds,

Vince DeNisco,

got into a few scrapes
when he was a kid.

And you want me to pull
DeNisco's jacket for you?

Leo'd be grateful.

Come on, Bower,
you used to be a cop.

All juvenile records are sealed.

Yeah. But, Roy,
this is you and me.

I know what the
official line is...

Then you also know what
Internal Affairs could do to me

for using official
files for personal gain.

Now, why should I risk my
badge for you or for Leo?

Leo could be a good friend.

I seriously doubt that.

So, these are the
kinds of errands

you're running these days?

You kept better company
when you were working Vice.

Yeah, I gotta hustle.

But, you know, Roy, I don't
have a big daddy like you

kicking over
Hollywood doors for me,

getting me cushy gigs.

Hey, pal, Timothy got where
he is today on his own talent.

Well, that's what
I'm trying to do.

Ricki Vardian's office.
Yeah. Roy Flint for Ricki.

Hello? Hey, Ricki,
how you doing?

Swamped. What do you want?

So, are you knocking
Timmy off the show or what?

The network forbids me to
say anything at this point, Roy.

They think it's good business to
keep everybody in the business

wondering and talking
about the show because...

Yadda-yadda-yadda-yadda.
I guess in order to get

a straight answer at this point,
you gotta be a safecracker!

Don't even think it, Roy.

How do you know about my safe?

Don't mess with us, Ricki.

"Watch out! This
chick's into the three C's."

The three C's? Let me see,
character, commitment and...

Communication.

None of which
you're interested in.

Uh, what is going on here?
Where's the energy, huh?

Carly, you're supposed
to be snide and sarcastic!

It's dead!

Dy, those glasses belong on
your nose, not in your mouth.

In rehearsals?

Wear them, they help
you get into character!

Joy.

That is the sloppiest
rehearsal I've ever seen.

Well, it can't be a
reflection on my directing

because you haven't backed
off long enough to let me do any.

Better get started, baby, because
we tape tomorrow. In case you forgot.

Oh, don't put it on me, Ricki.

You toss a whole new script
at us at dawn this morning.

With the final scene under
lock and key somewhere.

Those kids are scared stiff

that some of them are gonna be
filing for unemployment next week.

Well, they might have
you for company, joyful.

This sounds like the
kiss-off, Ricki, am I right?

I'll always be
fond of you, Vince,

but maybe it's better for
everybody if we just stop

our extracurricular activities,

at least for now, hmm?

Whatever.

Does that mean...

Let's not talk business at an
emotional moment like this.

Vince.

Vince, did Ricki say anything
about who's getting the a*?

No, Carly. She
didn't say anything.

But after decades of
hard-boiled male detectives,

we then began to see the
emerging of female sleuths

created by such writers as
Sue Grafton, Sara Paretsky,

Gillian Roberts, and,
of course, yours truly.

Okay. That's a keeper.

Let's move in, boys.

You got a minute, Jessica?

Oh, of course, Tim, what's up?

Uh, it's my dad. I just
got off the phone with him.

He's trying to dig up some
dirt to use on our producers...

In case they try to fire you?

Yes! I told him to
stop, but he just won't.

And I don't know what to do.

Tim, do you know what makes
Alfred Hitchcock movies so special?

'Cause they're so scary?

Well, that's part of it.

They're about ordinary people
trapped in terrible situations

who take charge
of their own lives.

I hear you. Okay.

I'm gonna handle this situation
myself, in a business-like way.

I'll just make an appointment
to see Ricki after rehearsals

and just let her know
what my dad's up to.

Good.

Now, Ricki is not the easiest
person in the world to deal with

but you're up to it.

Yeah.

Okay, Jessica.
We're ready to go.

Good.

Can you just tell
me if Carly's out?

Uh, you see, she's got this offer to
be in the new Valerie Harper pilot.

Uh, of course, she'd
much rather stay here,

but if she's gonna be
dropped anyway, then...

What, is this your business?
Are you making it with her?

No. No, she's just a friend.

You know, a nice kid, I
wanted to help out if I could.

Maybe if I explain
to Ricki that, uh...

You wanna lose your head?

Just get back to your computer
and think up more jokes.

Thanks, Gene. It was
sweet of you to try.

What are you gonna do?

Well, I'm a big girl.

I can take care of myself.

Milton, I know you're trying

to make the best deal possible,

but this is Rob Reiner.

Okay. Let me tell
you the news, all right.

It's all over the studio,

they're making
changes here in the cast.

Isn't that totally
perfect timing for us?

That might explain
the thr*at of a lawsuit.

What? Who's
threatening a lawsuit?

Mmm, thank you, dear.

That's one of the best things
about working on this show,

free cappuccino.

You're trying to k*ll my
movie deal with Rob Reiner,

aren't you?

Me? What are you talking about?

My agent told me that
someone is pulling strings.

They're pouring
on legal pressure.

Oh, that's Leo's
department, sweetie.

He's business. I'm creative.

And I'm hurt that you think
I would ever do anything

to stand in the way
of what's good for you.

So it's Leo?

What am I supposed to say
when she catches up with me?

Take the rap. Play the heavy.

That's what I pay you for.

So people will hate
you instead of me.

Uh-huh. Gary, love, wait up!

Punish me and not him, okay?

Please, don't fire Vince
because you think that...

In case you forgot,
missy, I'm in charge here.

I'll hire and fire
anyone I please.

No! This does not give you
the right to treat people like dirt!

That woman is a monster!

Uh, Ricki.

Would you believe?

Uh, I finally get my new SX-1300

and it doesn't
paginate properly.

Oh, let me see it, sometimes
if you... If you futz with it.

Hope you didn't
come here to find out

what the final
scene in the script is.

Well, now that you mention it...

Looking for me, Jessica?

Leo?

What are you doing
sitting here in the dark?

Thinking dark
thoughts. About what?

Ricki and Leo.

Decided there's no such thing.

Ricki's for Ricki. Period.

Sounds to me as if you're
having one of those days.

Too many of them.

Can't go on fooling
myself anymore.

"Leo, I want a
pre-nuptial agreement,

"but that doesn't
mean I don't love you."

"Sure, Ricki."

"Leo, work with me,

"I'll give you a big title
but it won't mean anything."

"Sure, Ricki."

"We're married,
Leo, we're partners,

"but I keep all kinds
of secrets from you."

"Sure, Ricki."

Do they give an Emmy for
Outstanding Wimp of the Year?

I think you're telling all
this to the wrong person.

You're absolutely right. I
should be telling it to Ricki.

And then a divorce lawyer.

Do you need anything?

It'll keep.

Well, that's the
rest of the audio.

One more session
and we'll be finished.

Mmm-hmm. Another project?

I don't think so, Rosie.

As a matter of fact, I'd
like to get it off my hands.

Ricki? Leo?

Ricki!

Mrs. Fletcher. I'm
Lieutenant Flint.

Oh, of course! Yes!
You're Timothy's father.

Lieutenant Caceras
over at Hollywood Division

says that you've gotten involved

with a couple of cases
there, is that right?

Lieutenant Caceras
and I are friends. I see.

Well, uh, would
you mind telling me

what you were doing in
Ricki's office here tonight?

Well, I was just returning a
treatment that she wanted me to read.

I'm working on the lot.

Uh, Lieutenant, did
you notice any signs

of forced entry on that safe?

Nope. Nope.

Either the k*ller
knew the combination,

or more likely surprised
Ricki when the lid was open.

Hmm. And Ricki got clobbered.

Excuse me.

Brand, I want you personally to
catalog the contents of the safe.

Uh, you're assuming that that
is the m*rder w*apon, right?

One might assume.

Then you're eliminating
robbery as a motive?

At least in the usual sense.

Are we gonna be playing
games here, Mrs. Fletcher?

What's that supposed to
mean, "In the usual sense"?

Well, it's just a guess.

I mean, it's possible that
there was something in that safe

that was worth k*lling for.

For instance?

Well, rumor has it that
the only copy of the scene

revealing who was going
to be fired from the show

was locked away in Ricki's safe.

But perhaps you already
knew that through Timothy.

Excuse me, Lieutenant, we've
been checking like you asked.

Almost all the victim's co-workers
were floating around the lot

at the time of the m*rder.

I got preliminary statements
from most of them,

including all the Buds
except for Timothy.

He was with me.

Forgive me for
saying this, Lieutenant,

but isn't there a certain
conflict of interest

for you working this case?

Mrs. Fletcher, are we
gonna have a problem here?

Because if we are...

I'm her husband,
you've gotta let me in.

Hey, hold on now!

Ricki...

I don't believe this.

Leo...

I'm sorry, Leo. I really am.

Now, look, I've gotta ask
you a couple of questions.

This is the pre-nuptial agreement
that you and Ricki signed.

What has that got to do with...

According to which, you get
bupkis in the event of divorce.

You have any idea why Ricki
took it out of the safe tonight?

Maybe she was reminiscing.

Ricki had a big
sentimental streak.

Where were you
about an hour ago, Leo?

I was walking around the lot.

I was getting some air.

Waiting for Ricki
to finish work.

Okay. Did Ricki carry
much life insurance?

Excuse me. Uh, Lieutenant...

I think this is the famous scene

everyone's been wondering
and worrying about.

What's it say?

"As they hear the
sound of footsteps

"coming down the stairs,

"from the front door of
the cafe, they all turn.

"The camera is angling at
the paramedic as he enters.

"The paramedic says,

"'I've got some bad news,
there's been an accident.'

"The Buds all hold their breath,

"until the paramedic
drops the dreaded b*mb.

"'It is your friend Dyan,

"'I'm afraid she
may not make it.'

"Freeze on reactions and
fade out." Dyan, I'm sorry.

Ricki k*lled you?

I'm the one.

In light of what's happened,
some changes are necessary.

This ending will not,
I repeat, not be used.

Gene will rewrite it at once

and none of the
characters will be eliminated.

If that's all right
with you, Dyan?

Absolutely.

I wouldn't wanna be
anywhere at a time like this,

except with my buds.

Besides, um, Rob Reiner changed
his mind and gave the part to Meg Ryan.

Dyan? Are you okay?

Oh, yeah. Sure.
Everything's terrific.

You should've heard it inside.

All the pep-rally
spirit for the show.

I mean, Ricki's dead.
Nobody really seems to care.

I mean, I know she was
a pill sometimes, but...

She was real good to me.

You know, Carly told me

that you were her
favorite character.

In fact, she patterned
your character after herself.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Glasses and all.

Yes.

My eyesight's 20-20

but Ricki said I was
funnier with the glasses.

Now, no more Ricki in the office

tapping out the jokes
on her new laptop.

Oh, Jessica, she just saw the
whole world from a different angle.

I mean, she saw humor where...

A different angle.

Something wrong?

Excuse me, Dyan. I have
to get over to the office.

Did you forget something?

No, I think I just
remembered something.

Gene, I know you're busy.

I'm never too busy
for you, Mrs. Fletcher.

Ah, is this your new office?

Uh, just for today.

Leo wants me where he
can look over my shoulder

till these pages are revised.

With Ricki gone, it looks
like Leo is gonna be leaning

much more heavily on me.

I've only got one question.

What did the original scene say,

before you changed it?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I know that the scene
the police found in the safe

wasn't the version
that Ricki wrote.

I mean, she had criticized
your use of the camera direction,

"Angling at" as
not being her style.

But, it is yours, Gene.

It is not what you
think, Mrs. Fletcher.

I was working late

and I came by Ricki's
office and found her body.

And the safe was open, so I took
a peek inside and saw the scene.

And you saw that it wasn't
Dyan who was being written out.

No. It was my friend Carly.

But with Ricki dead, you
figured, who would know?

So you rewrote the scene.

After all, Dyan wanted out in the
worst way, everybody knew that.

So maybe I could do a
favor for her and for Carly.

I figured, what's the harm?

The harm was that you
were tampering with evidence

at a crime scene.

Now, if that's all you did.

I swear. I didn't touch
anything else, Lieutenant.

All right. We'll leave
it at that, for now.

You're free to go.

It'd be nice if you'd share with me
your next brainstorm, Mrs. Fletcher,

like in advance.

Are you saying that you're
interested in my thoughts, Lieutenant?

Only the good ones.

And you'll be the judge?

Who else? It's my case.

One moment, please.

Flint here.

Ricki and Leo took
out some life insurance.

Yeah. Three months ago.

Uh-huh. For five
million dollars.

Double indemnity in
case of a violent death.

Uh-huh. Thanks.

Leo and Ricki Vardian just took out
five million dollar life insurance policies

three months ago,
with the following clause,

"Double indemnity in the
event of death by violent crime."

Ooh!

Hey, how you doing?

I heard you had a meeting
with Ricki last night, how'd it go?

Does it matter?

Where did you go
after you left her?

I went for a... What, are you
asking me officially or something?

Just tell me where you were.

I was kind of upset at the time.

You know, getting
the run-around and all.

So, I went for a run, by
myself, up around the reservoir.

If anyone asks,
you were with me,

at my place the whole time.

Look, Dad, I... Just
do what I tell you.

Alex!

Where you been? I've been
leaving messages for you all night!

I turned off my machine last
night and I slept like a baby.

You know what I'm thinking?

With everything that's happened
here, I should get a promotion.

A big one.

What for?

Whoa, no details, Leo.
That's the way you like it.

I'm thinking the title of supervising
producer fits me pretty good.

Let me know how much it pays.

I'm just really scared.

Why? Are you afraid
that the police will focus

on Vince being
thrown over by Ricki?

No. I'm afraid for
myself, Jessica.

Everybody's saying that the
m*rder w*apon was Ricki's Emmy

and the police are gonna
find my fingerprints on it,

but I didn't k*ll her.

Well, then you've got
nothing to worry about.

But I think you ought to
tell the Lieutenant here.

Mrs. Fletcher, kids.

Uh, Dad, I think Carly
has something to tell you.

The reason my fingerprints
are on Ricki's Emmy was...

I'm not really concerned
with that, Carly.

Our lab has just established

that the blunt object
that Ricki was k*lled with

was the laptop
computer on her desk.

Well, what are you
getting at, Lieutenant?

We're here because of something

Sergeant Brand
picked up from Vince.

Now, Vince didn't want
to point a finger, of course,

but last night, Vince was
comparing notes with someone

and it came out that despite Leo
and Ricki Vardian's assurances,

that all six of you Buds were
being paid exactly the same,

in fact, one of you...

Was being low-balled. Namely me.

Vince said you went
ballistic when he told you that,

and you took off
looking for Ricki.

Yeah. But I didn't find
her. I swear I didn't.

Dad?

Timmy,

the only prints found on the
laptop were the salesman's

who delivered it
yesterday, Ricki's and yours.

That's from before...

Don't say anything else, Timmy.

Let's go.

You never listen to me, Dad.

You have the right
to remain silent,

if you give up that
right, anything you say

can and will be used
against you in a court of law.

You have the right
to an attorney...

It's just for the record.

It's a statement of
how you found the body.

I know it's a bit after the fact

now that we've booked a suspect,

but, please just
sign at the bottom.

I stopped by to see
Timmy on the way in.

Yeah, I know.

Thanks.

I'm having a little difficulty
talking to him just now.

Under the circumstances,

I've decided to take a
back seat in the case.

Just handling the paperwork,

letting the captain do the rest.

You know, I don't
believe for one moment

that Timmy was
capable of m*rder.

Neither do I, as a father.

But as a cop, I gotta
admit it adds up.

He had motive.

Apart from getting slightly
crazed about maybe being fired,

he then finds out that Ricki was

short-changing him all last year

and he had opportunity.

The laptop came in brand new
and spotless from the computer store

just a little while before
she got clobbered with it.

And his prints are the
only clear ones on it.

But he said that he
touched the computer

when he was in
the office earlier

and he admits that he came back,

but the door to Ricki's
office was closed.

He knocked, there was
no answer and so he left.

And you don't believe him?

What I'm beginning to
believe, Mrs. Fletcher,

is that it's all my fault.

All these years,

maybe I pushed him
too hard to succeed.

Forgive me for saying this,

but a violent response
to feeling hurt or anger

is probably more your
way than Timothy's.

Maybe he's more
like me than I thought.

Lieutenant,

would you tell me what
happened that night

when you came to
see Ricki in her office?

Who says I did?

Well, Timothy told
me that you had

tried to fabricate
an alibi for him.

But it was really the other
way around, wasn't it?

I was just tryin'
to protect us both.

But you're right, I... I
did go back to the office

to make one last
plea for Timothy's job,

but Ricki, she...

Ricki was meaner
than a sewer rat.

And you argued.

Oh, yes, we argued. And I
have to admit, I got pretty angry.

To the point where I
could've gotten physical.

So I got out of there fast.

And she was alive when I left.

I believe you.

And I also believe Timothy.

Don't you think I want to?

Action, Mrs. Fletcher.

And in one of Alfred Hitchcock's

famous scenes from
Strangers on a Train,

the audience witnesses a m*rder,

but in a most unusual way,

as it is reflected in the lenses

of the victim's
eyeglasses that have...

Cut! Cut! Stop tape.

Anything wrong, Jess?

No. Forgive me,

but I think Mr. Hitchcock
just gave me an idea.

Come back to get your glasses?

Oh, no, and actually,
um, I've got mine.

At least I think these are mine.

I know, they look the same

except for the magnifying power.

These are Ricki's
prescription glasses.

Last night, after the m*rder,
I noticed Ricki's glasses.

It wasn't until
later that I realized

that they were not
prescription lenses.

These are yours.
20-20, plain glass.

You accidentally left them
here when you k*lled Ricki.

Ricki was my friend.

Why would I want to k*ll her?

Because you felt she
was out to ruin your career

by keeping you from leaving
the show to do that big movie.

Oh! That was all
over way before.

My agent phoned me
that Meg Ryan got the gig.

So, I had no reason to...

Dyan, I talked to your agent.

What he told you that
night was, that it was Ricki,

not Leo, who was
threatening the movie company

with a huge Breach of
Contract suit if they hired you.

Oh, Milton's getting
it all mixed up.

No, your agent
didn't receive word

about the other actress being
signed until the next morning.

So when you k*lled Ricki

you still thought
you had the part.

If Ricki was out of the way.

Oh, okay, so maybe I'm a
little confused on the timing,

but that doesn't mean I did it.

Ricki and I probably got the
glasses mixed up on the set.

She brought them
here by mistake.

I was never here that night.

Well, then how do you
explain the question

of Ricki's new laptop computer?

What does that
have to do with me?

I mean, I heard that that
was the m*rder w*apon but...

She'd never used it until
the night of her m*rder.

But you told me the
morning after the m*rder.

Now, no more Ricki in the office

tapping out the jokes
on her new laptop.

The salesman delivered
the laptop that evening.

The only way you could have known
it was here was if you were here.

Give me those glasses!

Nice and easy, Dyan.

All right, I did it.

But Ricki deserved what she got.

See, when you're an actress,

you constantly
hear a clock ticking.

Guys like Eastwood and Jack
Nicholson get to be stars forever.

But for an actress, it's
like being a ballplayer.

When the legs go,
the career's over.

But you're only, what, 29?

That's what I tell
People magazine.

Try 36.

When I got this big movie offer,

I felt like it was
my last chance.

I couldn't wait four years
for the series to end.

I told Ricki that.

I pleaded with her.

Ricki, please, just write me
out for a couple of months.

That's all I need!

Sweetie, you signed a
contract and I own you.

No!

Afterwards, I was sorry.

Ricki had done so
much for me in the past,

but this movie, well,
I thought I had it.

It was a part any
actress would...

k*ll for.

Rehearsal. Action!

But who sends a Valentine's
Day card without signing it?

A practical joker.

Or a mystery admirer.

Or one of your girlfriends

who hasn't learned to
write her own name yet.

Well, there were three "X's"
on the bottom of the card.

Ah, you see?

I don't know anybody
with a middle name.

Now!

Oh, I, uh, thought
you might like to know,

I'm making my New Year's
resolutions a little early this year.

Oh? I decided to
concentrate on what I do best.

Being a good cop and to stop
being a bad stage-door mommy.

Ah, well, I guess that's the
thing about kids, Lieutenant.

You have to let go sometime.

Okay! Excuse me!
Excuse me, everybody.

Silenzio, you guys,
Carly's got a proclamation.

I think this is for
you to read, Timmy.

"Whereas, Jessica Fletcher has
proven herself a friend extraordinaire,

"be it herewith resolved that
she is officially designated

"an honorary Bud."

Oh!