03x19 - Marathon Angels

[bunniefuu]

Once upon a time,

there were three little girls who
went to the police academy...

Two in Los Angeles,

the other in San Francisco...

And they were each assigned
very hazardous duties.

[Buzzing]

But I took them away from all
that, and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

[Engine Starts]

[Chanting Quietly]

Let go of her!

[Grunting]

[Screaming]

[Tires Screeching]

[Charlie On Speakerphone] How
long ago did this kidnapping take place,

Miss, um, Jonson, isn't it?

[With Swedish Accent]
Oh, ja. Helga Jonson.

They took Sylvia
about, oh, an hour ago.

And you didn't get a
look at the vehicle at all?

Oh, it might have been
some sort of panel truck...

or maybe one of those
recreational vehicles.

- What color was it?
- Brown.

No, no. Maybe it was
green. I couldn't tell.

It was behind the trees.

- Could you tell what kind
of masks they were wearing?
- Halloween masks.

[Charlie] Miss Jonson, have you
reported all of this to the police?

Oh, ja. I went directly to the Waverly
Park station, and then I run here.

I can hire you to
help the police, ja?

- Yes, of course.
- Uh, wait a minute.

Did you say you ran
here from Waverly Park?

Oh, ja. I run everywhere.

Waverly Park is, what? Four
miles or something from here?

Ja, I am very
worried about Sylvia.

I mean, she is my partner.
She's also my friend.

What is Horizon's End?

Ah. That's my health spa.

Watch!

[Both Gasp] Your sartorius
maximus are just a teeny bit flabby.

If you come to Horizon's
End, I could help you.

- [Kelly] Well, where is it?
- In Venice.

Well, listen, maybe I'll drive
down there one weekend.

Drive?

No, the body is
dying from driving.

No, you must run
to Horizon's End.

Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Venice, California?

- South of Santa Monica.
- Well, I'll think about it.

[Sabrina] I've got an idea. Why
don't we all go down to Waverly Park?

You can show us where you
were when they took Sylvia,

and maybe we can get a
line on what's happening, huh?

Good idea, Sabrina.
Keep in touch now.

- Oh, we will.
- I'll get the car.

Oh, I suppose, since
time is so important.

Must we use the auto?
Yes, I fear we must.

Besides, I am not too concerned about
the condition of my sartorius maximus.

This is where they took Sylvia.

What's that over there?

[Helga] Oh, the
race. It starts at 11:00.

What race?

Oh, ja. Mr. Twilliger's
marathon.

What's Twilliger's Twenty?

Mr. Twilliger is paying 20
girls a thousand dollars each...

if they will compete
in a 15-mile run.

- A thousand dollars apiece?
- Provided they finish the race.

And the winner gets $5,000.

But, of course, we must all
wear Mr. Twilliger's clothes.

Twilliger manufactures women's
sports clothes, doesn't he?

Twilliger's Togs.

Well, you were obviously planning
to compete in the race with Sylvia?

Of course. We
signed up weeks ago.

Hundreds of girls wanted to run.

Mr. Twilliger was
very selective.

Are we looking at some sort of
motive for Sylvia's kidnapping?

You mean, the thousand dollars
she'd have gotten if she'd finished?

Yeah, plus the 5,000 if she won.

That's a pretty big "if," and kidnapping
for $6,000 is pretty much of a reach.

Yeah, that's true, but
we've got to start someplace.

Maybe we ought to talk
to Twilliger. Wouldn't hurt.

Oh, excuse. I must
go and sign up.

Right. Right.

Thank you. All right. Well, we're
gonna get started as soon as we can.

Hi. Helga Jonson.

You get all the
coverage you can. Good.

Right here. Thank you. Oh, fine.

[Phone Rings]

Excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me.

Well, well, girls! You're
all lookin' real good.

Real good!

Let me have a look at you. Come
over here, girls. Come over here.

What are you gonna use?
I've got the g*n right here.

Okay. Shh. I've got
a catch in my throat.

Now, look. We...

Secretive type.

Okay, remember... We're
risking a lot here today.

Do you all love Ernie?
We're fond of you, Ernie.

Okay, you know
me... never pushy.

- If this works,
we'll love you, Ernie.
- Let's not negotiate.

I'll settle for "fond." Ah.

Here we are.

All right, all right.
I can handle it.

Yeah, well, you
just do your part.

I've, uh, got to go now.

[Kelly] Mr. Twilliger? Yes?

We wondered if you might
answer a couple of questions.

Ah, you nice people are from
the media? No, not exactly.

We're private investigators.

Oh, well, I'm sorry,
but I am rather busy.

This'll just take a
moment, Mr. Twilliger.

Be quick about
it then, will you?

I gotta get this whole thing
started in about a few minutes.

Are you aware that one of the girls in
your Twilliger's Twenty has been kidnapped?

What is this? Some kind of a
gag? [Kris] No, sir. It's no gag.

Her name was Sylvia Laven, and two
men wearing Halloween masks took her.

Come on. Give me that!

Sylvia Laven. She hasn't
signed in yet. No, sir.

Do you know any reason that
she might have been kidnapped?

What would I know about
it? I didn't even know the girl.

[Bosley] We're not accusing
you of anything, Mr. Twilliger.

We just thought that you might
be able to give us some information.

Yeah, well, I can give
you some information.

I put over 25,000 bucks into this
stunt, and I'm not lookin' for no trouble.

Excuse me. We're not trying
to cause you any trouble.

Yeah? Well, that
ain't the way it feels.

Mr. Twilliger, have there
been any other incidents?

Have any of these girls
been bothered or threatened?

Or have any others failed to
sign in, besides Sylvia Laven?

Oh, give me that sheet!

Yeah, Sally Cole
hasn't signed in.

But that's no big thing. You know,
we don't start for another... 40 minutes.

Now I'm about to be interviewed,
and you're all about to disappear.

Okay? Don't rain on
my parade. Capisce?

[Chuckling] Yes,
I'm Mr. Twilliger.

I believe you're
looking for me. Yes.

Did you notice?

The more we questioned him, the
less civilized he became. Mm-hmm.

I get the feeling Mr. Twilliger grew
up on a real rough street somewhere.

I think I better have Charlie put
Mr. Twilliger's name through the computer.

It might come up with some
angle. That's a good idea.

Hi.

Let's see. Turn around.

Fine. Go on. It's okay.

Miss Cole? Miss Sally Cole?

What do you want? In the van.

Please, if this is a robbery,
I have no money. Listen...

Get in!

[Gasps]

[Engine Starts]

Daughter of mine,
Allah forgive me,

but I do not understand
this... this confusion.

Most noble father, I have told you,
this is part of being an American.

Running in the
streets half dressed?

Oh, noble father, I want
to be a part of America.

I want to learn of its
people and its customs.

But how can I be a benevolent
and protective father...

if you're not at my side always?

Oh, father of mine, I cannot
be at your side always.

Please do not
question my motives.

After all, I did not question you when
you bought Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.

Did I buy Rodeo
Drive? Did I buy...

Son of a camel!
How would you know?

Oh, come, Father.
I must dress. Come.

Watch her every moment.

[Woman] It seems
to me, Mr. Twilliger,

you're not even remotely interested
in promoting health through sports.

What?

Isn't this just a stunt so that you can
get some publicity for your company?

That's not true! Really?

I notice you've routed your
marathon right through a movie studio.

Hoping to get some
free publicity, huh?

Listen, I'm putting a lot
of bucks into this, right?

And that gives you the right
to exploit these young women?

Exploit these young women? Why,
nobody's twisting their arm. Right?

Wrong. You're twisting
their arms, Mr. Twilliger.

Their financial arms. They
obviously need the money.

The lady's a tiger. Mm-hmm.

- With very big teeth.
- Lady, you are badly
misinformed.

Now, let me tell you. There.

You see that girl over there with her
father... the dark man wearing the tent?

Do you know who that
is? That's Hassir Hassir.

He owns half the oil in
Arabia. And that's his daughter.

Between them they've got more
bucks than I could lift in a lifetime.

And you know why she wants
to be a Twilliger's Twenty?

I can't imagine.

She wants to be an American...

A real grassroots,
involved American.

But he wants her to marry
the other half of Arabia's oil.

But she figures that somebody's gonna
notice her if she's a Twilliger's Twenty.

And she figures that being a
Twilliger's Twenty is being an American.

That's all I have to say to you.

Here comes Bos.

Hi, Bosley. Hi.

Charlie's computer come up with anything
on Twilliger? Yeah. Very interesting.

Twilliger's tangled with the Better
Business Bureau in several cities.

- Any arrests?
- One... no conviction.

Well, that's not exactly a
heavy piece of information.

I think whatever's going on has something
to do with this race or Twilliger's Twenty.

- Quite possible.
- I don't know.

Maybe a couple of us should give
it a run for its money, so to speak.

You mean, become
one of Twilliger's Twenty?

Like I said, I really think it has
something to do with the race.

And the best way to get a
look at it is to get in the race.

- I think she's got a point.
- I agree.

Why don't you two take Sylvia's place
and the girl who hasn't signed in yet?

What's her name? Cole? Yeah.

Hold it, hold it. How come all of
a sudden we're the ones running?

You thought of it, and you agreed.
Is that reasonable? Perfectly.

Hmm!

Terrific. Reasonable?

Reasonable.

Mr. Twilliger? Oh, I thought
we said good-bye earlier.

Oh, well, we decided to stick around
and help you with your problem.

My problem is that
you're sticking around.

No, see, we want to replace
the two girls that didn't show up...

Sylvia Laven and Sally Cole. I'm sorry, but
you're late. They've already been replaced.

You wouldn't kid a girl, would
you, Mr. Twilliger? Would I kid you?

Now, look here.
Right here. Here.

Sylvia Laven, Sally Cole.

Replaced by the Craft
sisters, Joanne and Mary.

That's them right over there.

Where did they come
from so suddenly?

I don't know, and I don't care.

They've got legs,
and they can run.

And you two, I'm a little tired
of talking to. Good-bye again.

You think we could persuade the
Craft sisters to let us run in their place?

My thought exactly. Let's go.

Hi. Hi.

- Guess what.
- What?

My friend and I are in a position
to do you guys a big favor.

Such as?

Well, we'd like to run for you.

[Chuckles] You and
about a thousand others.

Oh, we don't want the money.
You each can have our thousand.

Oh, yeah? Why would you do that?

- Well, we have our reasons.
- I'd like to hear 'em.

Well, let's just say
we like to run. Right.

Let's just say I
don't believe you.

What kind of a scam are
you trying to pull anyway?

Well, no scam. Look, we'll
put it in writing if you like.

We work up the sweat,
and you pick up the 2,000.

Yeah, well, what
about the 5,000?

Oh, you mean, the
first-place money.

Right. We figure at
least one of us can win.

Well, possibly, but then again you
might lose, maybe not even finish.

And just personally speaking,

I really don't think your sartorius
maximus can go the distance.

Personally, I think you
two should take a hike.

I think she means
"no deal." Their loss.

What was that all about?

Just a couple of flakes.

Real stubborn types. Mm-hmm.

Kris, I wonder how we could
get some of Twilliger's Togs.

Maybe the little
mouse could help us.

What mouse?

The one under her table.

Oh, that mouse.

- [Kelly] Look at that!
- Huh?

[Kris] Wow! What
kind of mouse is that?

Where? Wh... Where?

[Kelly] Right over
there. Well, I don't see it.

Where is it? It might not
even be a mouse. It has spots.

Why, I don't see it! No,
it went right behind you.

- [Kelly] Right behind
the tree. The green tree.
- Right over there.

What...

Before I leave you, friends,
let me give you this thought.

He who exploits his fellow man
or fellow woman exploits all of us...

and must pay the penalty.

I'm Millicent Krail for KBEX.

Cut.

Cheery type. Well,
she's got a point.

But I do get the feeling she would love to see
something go wrong with this little affair.

Oh, something
already has gone wrong.

A Miss Sylvia Laven and
Sally Cole... They're missing.

Millicent could really make
news out of that if she knew.

Maybe she already knows. I don't
think so. She'd have said something.

Well, these days newscasters
have to be dramatists.

You know... "Meteor to
hit Pacoima. Film at 11:00."

You mean, this could
be a setup for a zinger?

Yeah, it's quite possible. I mean,
stations'll do anything today to get a rating.

I think that this Millicent and our
Mr. Twilliger both need a closer look.

Hey, the happy runners.
You two opening a boutique?

No. We had to grab quick while Twilliger's
lady was looking for a spotted mouse.

You think you ought to ask her
what she's talking about? Let's not.

Did you persuade the Craft
sisters to let you take their places?

- Negative. They were intractable.
- Stubborn too.

Too stubborn. I think you outta run a
computer check on them also, Bosley.

You mean, their being here
was coincidentally fortuitous?

I love the way you
use words, Bosley. Ah!

What do you think? Very
chic. Very chic, very chic.

- What about mine?
- Ah, you will jog your way
into the hearts of millions.

Okay, look, you'll
change clothes in the car,

and then we'll sneak into
the race after the official start.

That way Twilliger won't know,
all right? Let's get out of here.

- [Kris] Wait, wait.
- You ready?

[Kris] Walk slow. Here we go.

[Clears Throat]

Sweet George. Sweet baby.

[Woman] Hurry!
Hurry! Let's get started.

Oh, yeah. Thanks. All right,
ladies. Time to get started.

Please step over here and
get your numbers. Number one.

Come on. All right, ladies.

Now, you're going to leave
at five-second intervals.

The timing device is over
there between the flags.

The winner, of course, will be
determined by the total elapsed time.

Now, we're providing you
with little waist packets here...

for you to carry dextrose or
water or salt pills or whatever.

All right? All right.
Get your numbers.

Number two, please. All
right. Number three, get ready.

[Woman] Here I am. Good, good.

Number four? Right here.

[Woman] Where's my number?

I'll do that. Okay.

If we pull this off,
we're on easy street.

We will. We will, Ernie.

[Engine Starts]

[Woman] I've got to finish.

[Twilliger] All right,
ladies. Here we go.

Five, four, three, two, one, go!

Five, four, three, two, one, go!

Five, four...

[Engine Starts]

Four, three, two, one, go!

Five, four, three, two, one, go!

You think the gate guard is
gonna buy this... 20A and 20B?

If he says anything, tell him you're part of
an entry... you know, like in a horse race.

Yeah, but what if he doesn't know
from entries? Then what do we do?

You're in running
clothes. Outrun him.

According to this map, you
exit the studio via the Pico gate.

There. See? We'll meet
you there. [Kelly] Mm-hmm.

Bosley, now, you're
gonna check with Charlie,

see if his computer came up
with anything on the Craft sisters.

It just doesn't make sense
that they'd pop up like that.

He said that he'd call me the
moment he got anything on them...

Also if he gets anything on
Miss Krail, our lady newscaster.

Okay.

[Tires Screech]

- Whoa!
- Was that the grim reaper
or a man in a shawl?

Or a very ugly lady in a shawl?

If you gotta be run down, better
by a limo, huh? Be careful, all right?

Okay. All righty. See you later.

See you later.

Okay, you ready? What is it?

- The green van.
- What about it?

Helga said that the two masked
men were in some sort of, uh,

panel truck or
recreational vehicle.

Do you think she meant a van?

She said it was brown or green.

There are hundreds
of 'em on the street.

But there are two men in
it, just like the kidnappers.

And this kind of moving
zoo attracts all kinds of guys.

But I'll tell you what... We'll keep
our eye on it, okay? Let's hit it.

I have a pass.

It'll take them about 10
minutes to run through the studio.

Look at that. They're letting
him drive straight through.

What was it they used to tell us in
the navy? "Rank has its privileges."

Let's get it done with.

What is it? The green van again.

- So?
- The guy in the right seat
had something over his face.

Something on his face? Yes!

You mean, like a mask? Yes!

Are you sure? No, I'm not sure.

Was it a Halloween mask? I don't
know. I just got a look for a split second.

Oh, no. But don't worry,
Kris. I got the license number.

It was, uh, 9LO 167.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Listen, don't let the jogging jar that
out of your mind. Hold onto that number.

All righty. 9LO 167.

Hi. Hello.

How's it goin'?

Hi! Any news about Sylvia?

Not yet, but we're
working on it, Helga.

Your sartorius maximus
seem to be firming up already!

I'll tell you something.
I really hurt.

But you're sculpturing
your bodies through pain.

No, you will be proud. Proud!

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Groans]

Oh, here they come. All right.

Ready?

Millicent Krail, still following
the progress of Twilliger's Twenty.

As you can see, the
pace has taken its toll.

Lets talk to some of
them and, well, just see...

if any of the anguish of their
labors, on Mr. Twilliger's behalf,

has dampened any
of their enthusiasm.

Pardon me. Can I have
just a minute, please?

What are your names, and
why are you in this race?

I'm June, and this is Jan,
and this is Jane. Hi! Hi!

We're represented
by Ernie Flack.

He's the best
agent in Hollywood.

♪♪ [Piano On Tape]

♪ I got the g*n right
here The g*n's my heart ♪

♪ I'm gonna sh**t
you with my heart ♪

♪ I got the g*n right
here The g*n's my heart ♪

♪ And our hearts
will never part ♪

♪ Do-wah, do-wah
Do-wah, do-wah ♪

♪ Do-wah, do-wah
Do-wah, do-wah ♪

♪ Do-wah, do-wah
Do-wah, do-wah ♪

♪ Do-wah, do-wah ♪

♪ I got the g*n right
here The g*n's my heart ♪

♪ I'm gonna sh**t
you with my heart ♪

♪ I got the g*n right
here The g*n's my heart ♪

♪ And our hearts
will never part ♪

♪ Do-wah, do-wah
Do-wah, do-wah ♪

♪ Do-wah, do-wah
Do-wah, do-wah ♪

♪ Do-wah, do-wah
Do-wah, do-wah ♪

♪ Do-wah, do-wah ♪
The audition's over.

♪ I got the g*n right here ♪♪

It seems Mr. Twilliger isn't the only opportunist
out here today. Sort of a running Gong Show.

Excuse me. Hi. I'd like
you to meet George.

You're probably
wondering why we're here.

Well, George and I represent the Snake Pit
restaurant on the corner of Pico and Mason.

And guess what our specialty is.

You guessed it...
Filet of Crotalus,

which is a breaded
filet of snake.

- Our prices
are reasonable and...
- Oh, cut, cut! [Sighs]

And I wanted to be a newscaster.

- Don't you think you
better hit the road?
- Thank you.

[Engine Starts]

Yeah, Charlie. We expect
'em any minute. All right.

Charlie.

Hey! Here they come.

[Chuckling] You
do not look well.

[Groans] I'm sculpting my body
with pain. Did you hear from Charlie?

Yup, uh, there's nothing on
Millicent. She seems straight.

- Nothing new on Twilliger,
but the Craft sisters...
- What about them?

Well, it seems that they were in the navy,
and they spent a little time in the old brig.

- For what?
- They worked in naval supply.

There was a little misappropriating
and selling of navy materials.

They worked with two chief
petty officers, Tolan and Castor.

Did you get descriptions
of them? Sure did.

Castor's tall... 6'4",
dark hair, wears glasses.

Tolan's tall... about six feet...
dark hair. Both almost about 40.

- What's the matter? Why do you look like that?
- I'll tell you why.

We just saw two guys
fitting those descriptions.

And they were in a green van. Or
a panel truck, as Helga would say.

And Kelly thought she
saw them putting on a mask.

Well, good. Did you get
a good look at their faces?

No, no, no. But she
got the license number.

Well, that'll help facilitate a
fast checkout. What was it?

Okay. Uh...

Do you remember? Kelly. Yeah,
I'll remember. Just... I'll remember.

- What's she doing?
- She's jogging her memory.

- Oh.
- 9LO...

9LO... That's right!
9LO. The rest of it?

167.

[Together] 9LO 167!

[Kelly] That's it, that's it.

Hey, here come
the Craft sisters.

The one in front, from the
description we got, must be Mary,

and the one in the
rear must be Joanne.

The same girl still in between them. You'd
think they would have spread out by now.

- Who is the girl in the middle?
- I don't know... foreign, obviously.

And that limousine has been tagging
them ever since this whole thing started.

Whatever's going down, I have a
feeling the Craft sisters are part of it.

- Okay. Well, we'll
hang close to you.
- [Both Groan]

Happy running. Bye,
girls. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

[Panting]

[Brakes Screech]

Think it's about time we
dispose of our passengers? Yeah.

[Shuddering]

[Whimpering]

[Van Door Closes]

End of the line, ladies.

You ladies look
scared. Are you scared?

Well, we'll make a
little deal with you.

You can come out of this without
any bruises, if you do what we say.

Understand? Now, we
just want you to stay here.

Just stay put for about an hour or
so, then you can yell your heads off.

Somebody passing
by will hear you.

But you gotta
wait an hour. Yeah.

But if you start yelling
before that, we'll be back.

All right. Nice talking
to you, ladies. Let's go.

[Bosley] They'll be
out of sight for a while.

We can pick 'em up at the other
side of the maintenance yard.

[Car Phone Buzzes] Hello.

Sabrina, the license
number of the green van...

9LO 167?

Yeah. You got something?
Yes. Kelly's instincts paid off.

That's the number of a green
van registered to George Tolan.

You mean, like, in
Tolan and Castor?

No doubt. I suggest while Kris and
Kelly are watching the Craft sisters,

you and Bosley
look for that van.

It's probably the key
to our two missing girls.

All right. We'll do it,
Charlie. Stay with it.

Hey!

Now what's wrong?
The Craft sisters.

- They're stopping
the Arabian girl.
- I don't like that.

- I don't either. Come on.
- Help me! Stop it!

Let go of me!

Let go of me! [Screaming]

[Screaming Continues]
No! No! No! No!

- Hold it!
- [Screams]

Get down!

[g*nsh*t]

[Tires Screeching]

[g*nsh*t] [Kris] Okay,
just hold it right there!

Hold it!

Out. I said out!

All right. Move over
here where I can see you.

All right. We're looking for a
Sylvia Laven and a Sally Cole.

If you know where they
are, I think you better tell us.

Okay. They're okay.
I'll take you to them.

[Charlie On Speakerphone]
In other words, Angels,

it was all a simple case
of kidnapping for ransom.

[Sabrina] Not so
simple, Charlie.

The Arabian girl's father has
always been extremely protective.

Castor and Tolan decided the only chance they'd
have to make their move was during the race,

when she'd be out of her
father's sight for a few minutes.

Unfortunately, by the
time they'd figured that out,

it was too late for the Craft
sisters to get entered in the race.

So they had to "detain"
Sylvia Laven and Sally Cole...

and put the Craft
sisters in their place.

Strategically placed...
One in front, one behind...

So as to separate her
from the other runners.

We found Sylvia and Sally
where Castor and Tolan left them...

Scared, but, uh, no harm done.

Bosley? Yes, Charlie?

Where are you going? What?

Well, you haven't said a word, and you
keep drumming your pencil on the desk.

Are we keeping you?

Well, actually, I do have
another engagement.

[Charlie] Oh? I don't suppose
you'd care to tell us about it.

Oh, I don't mind if I do.

I've got a date to go
jogging with our client.

- Helga?
- A most charming lady.

Bosley, she's hardly your type.

I mean, you hate
walking to the car.

And, well, Helga... After she won the
race she ran all the way back to Venice.

Well, I know, but she told me that if I
would improve my sartorius maximus,

she would make
it worth my while.

What's she gonna do to make
it worth your while, Bosley?

- Hmm, she wouldn't say.
- Uh-huh.

I have a feeling she's going
to sculpt your body in pain.

Those were her exact
words. Frankly, I'm fascinated.

[Laughing] Oh!

Good luck, Bosley. Be careful.

Whoa. Bye, Bos.

[Charlie] Well, if you'll
excuse a cliché, Angels,

I've gotta run.

Oh, Charlie! [Chuckling]