04x10 - Angels on Campus

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Charlie's Angels". Aired: September 22, 1976 – June 24, 1981.*
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A wealthy mystery man named Charlie runs a detective agency via a speakerphone and his "angels" detectives are three beautiful women, who end up in a variety of difficult situations.
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04x10 - Angels on Campus

Post by bunniefuu »

CHARLIE: Once upon a time

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy.

One in Los Angeles.

One in San Francisco.

The other in Boston.

And they were each
assigned... [BUZZING]

very hazardous duties.

But I took them
away from all that

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[BELL TOLLING]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

MAN: I teach this course on
Chaucer for general consumption

as a courtesy to the university.

I've attempted to
make it easier for you

by allowing you to read
the modernized version,

which is my own, by the way.

I could require you to
read Chaucer in the original.

But the royalties
wouldn't be as good.

[BOYS LAUGH]

Mr. Fitzpatrick... [SIGHS]

I am painfully aware

of the investment that
this university has in you.

As I'm sure you must be aware

of the enormous pressure
that we on the faculty receive

to give you a
rubber-stamp grade.

But if you wish to
pass this course,

you will have to demonstrate

that there is something
more than just...

a scrimmage between
those ears of yours.

And if first
impressions hold true,

I should think that would
prove a formidable task.

[GIRLS GIGGLE]

Now, for the next session.

I would like you all to read

and comprehend my introduction
to The Canterbury Tales.

And beware, we may have one
of my devious quizzes on Monday.

[ALL GROAN]

PROFESSOR: Have a nice weekend.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Are you okay? Need some money?

See you then. Bye. Bye.

Oh.

Hi.

Come on. Let's get packed.
We're leaving tonight.

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't go.

But it's all planned.
But it's rush week.

I'm chairman of the rush
committee, remember?

Come on, Jen. Kappa
Omega Psi is not gonna fold

if you take a few days
off to go to the beach.

But I have an obligation.

After all, aren't you
always trying to get me

to be more socially responsible?

Not to a sorority, no.

I know you don't think
sororities are important,

but I do.

I thought I was
important to you.

Can't we go after rush week?

No. We only have the
beach house for this weekend.

Get your stuff. I'll
pick you up in an hour.

I've got to get
Professor Fairgate's

introduction to Canterbury
Tales done by Monday.

Jen, get your stuff...
Richard, no! Please.

Don't insist. There's no way.

I'm sorry.

Maybe Professor Errol Flynn

can give you some
private coaching, huh?

Yeah. Well, maybe he can.

[♪♪♪]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[♪♪♪]

[YELPS]

CHARLIE: Jennifer
Thomas is the second coed

to disappear under
mysterious circumstances

in the last two weeks.

So far, the authorities have
been completely frustrated.

Every lead has been a dead end.

No ransom note, no
evidence of foul play.

Two beautiful sorority girls

have simply
vanished into thin air.

And the kicker is the girls
are Kappa Omega Psi,

my sorority.

Oh, that's right.

You were a big sorority
honcho, weren't you, Tiff?

Yeah. Anyway, that's
how we come into it.

Yes. We've been hired
by the alumni committee

to find those girls.

No contact from the kidnappers?

We can't assume that these
are ordinary kidnappings.

What? Do you think it
might be a string of murders?

Possibly. But there's
another form of kidnapping.

Much more frightening.

Kidnapping for prostitution.

White sl*very.

White sl*very?

Come on, Charlie.

I didn't think that sort
of thing was still around.

At least not in this country.

Don't be so sure, Angels.

There are hundreds
of cases every year.

And I'm afraid our case
fits into the general pattern.

[SCOFFS] I don't know,
Charlie. That's a little hard to buy.

It's a possibility, Kris.

I want you to check into it
when you get to the university.

Back to school, Charlie?

You are, Kris, to
audit a few classes.

And Tiffany is going to
stay at the sorority house

as a big sister.

Big sister?

Well, she's hardly cut out

to be a housemother.

This is true.

What about the rest of us?

You and Kelly will
work the outside.

This is a really
baffling case, Angels.

Well, good luck. You'll
need every bit of it.

[♪♪♪]

School?

[♪♪♪]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[♪♪♪]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Tiffany, welcome home.

Ms. Kay.

[CHUCKLES] [DOOR CLOSES]

Still the most
glamorous housemother

in the sorority biz.

[BOTH GIGGLE]

And you still have a
way with words don't you?

We try. I missed you. I
thought about you a lot.

Well, thank you. I'm still
here as housemother.

I thought you'd get married.

Oh, no. I'm enjoying it here.

I understand you're going
to be with us for a while.

Well, I have literary
aspirations, you know.

So I thought I'll do a
story on Kappa house,

but I had to come
back for a couple days

to do some research.

It's gonna be good
to have you with us.

May I help you unpack?

Oh, I'd love it. Thank you.

I hear you've had
a little excitement

around here recently.

Yes, if you mean the
two girls who disappeared.

Yeah, are there any
new developments?

No. We're just praying

that there'll be a
logical explanation.

Who were the girls?

Beth Harris was the first one,

a very shy girl
who kept to herself.

You know adage
"Still water runs deep"?

Well, no one was very surprised

when she first
missed her classes.

We figured perhaps
she'd run off on her own.

And the other girl?

Jenny Thomas, an
entirely different story.

Everyone was crazy about her.

She was our rush chairman.

Everyone is so upset.

And she is not the kind of girl

that would run
away from anything.

[♪♪♪]

Now, of course, I think
we are going to have to face

the possibility that we're
dealing with a tragedy.

[♪♪♪]

How are you?

Hello. Hi.

Have some fun.

What was that all about?

[GIGGLES]

Your presidency was a landmark

in making Kappa house the
number one house on campus.

That's not true.

Ah, the girls consider you a
kind of legend around here.

You're kidding.

And we try to
encourage the tradition.

You were some kind of president.

And you're some kind of lady.

You wanna know the truth?

I barely got in
to this sorority.

Oh, no. They almost
blackballed you?

I don't believe it.

It's true. [SCOFFS]

I wouldn't have blamed 'em.

You can never tell what
a pledge is gonna turn out.

That is so true. Mm. Isn't it?

TIFFANY: How is this
year's pledge class?

Small, but good.

We only have five openings. Mm.

Hi, I'm Cathy Evans.

Hello, Tiffany Welles. I know.

Cathy took over as rush chairman

when Jenny disappeared.

Ms. Kay was
telling me about that.

Oh, it's awful.

We thought that Jenny had
skipped town with her boyfriend.

Then he showed up a couple
days ago, looking for her.

She'd stood him up on
a weekend at the beach.

What's his name?
Richard Milligan.

He's so '60s.

I don't know what
she sees in him.

Oh, more candidates.

I'd better get back to work.

Nice to have met
you. Nice to meet you.

Do you know of anything

that might link Beth
and Jenny together?

[SNIFFS]

Uh, they were
both English majors.

Heh. Oh, they both had a
crush on our famous Dr. Fairgate.

Oh, a crush, eh?

Yeah. How bad?

Total and all-consuming.

Oh, one of those. [CHUCKLES]

Dr. James Fairgate
is very attractive.

He's a celebrity on this campus.

Most of his girls
have a crush on him.

If you saw him in action,
you'd know what I mean.

[♪♪♪]

[GIRLS SHRIEKING]

What's happening?

Okay, would
everybody keep quiet.

Stay right were you are.
There's nothing to be afraid of.

We must have blown a breaker.

Could be.

[FIRECRACKER CRACKING]

[GIRLS SCREAMING]

[MAN LAUGHING]

Nice going, Steve.

That will make 'em respect
the Pi Nus a little bit more.

They have it coming
for a long time.

[ENGINE REVVING]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[ALL SIGHING]

Pi Nus. I know
it has to be them.

You have got to be kidding.

You mean that old
feud is still going on?

Now their stupid
boyfriends are involved.

But yeah, the same old feud.

The beauties, meaning us,

versus the beast, meaning them.

[SCOFFS]

What do you say we
take 'em down a peg?

[IN UNISON] Yeah!

Let's do it. Come on.

Hey, Nikki, uh,

wasn't that your brother
Steve driving that car?

NIKKI: No, it
couldn't have been.

Don't say that.

Are you sure it was him?

He's in one of my
classes. I know it was him.

Well, how can you
be sure? It was dark.

Not that dark.

[SIGHING]

[♪♪♪]

Down, set, hut. Hut two.

[EXCLAIMS]

Yeah!

[CHEERING]

Hey, I'll be back.

Hey, Nikki. What's up?

Kappa house turned me down

because of that stunt
you pulled last night.

Why did you do that?

Why do you hate 'em so much?

They're a bunch of stuck-up...

They're not! They're terrific

and now you've
screwed it up for me.

Nikki, would you forget them.

Now, you can pledge Pi Nu.

I told you I can
get you in there.

I'll tell you what, big
brother: You forget it,

I don't wanna be a Pi Nu.

I wouldn't fit in.

I really wanted to be a Kappa.

So I hope you're happy,
'cause I'm not gonna be.

Nikki.

[♪♪♪]

[WAVES CRASHING]

They're fine.

The dr*gs are working perfectly.

Our little girls are
completely out of it.

The boss said the girls
are gonna have company.

Another one?

The sheik just upped the order.

Three, huh? Mm-hm.

Think they must
be paying a fortune.

At least a million.

But don't worry,
he can afford it.

Here's to beautiful women,

especially the young ones.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Can I help you?

[CHUCKLING]

Are you the librarian?

One of them.

I haven't seen
you in here before.

No. Well, you see, uh,

we had another
library when I was here.

Zachary Preston, class of '51?

Do you need a pass to
use the stacks, Mr. Preston?

Zach. Please, call me Zach.

I'm Willamena Campbell,

but you can call me Willie.

Willie? I like that.

Well, Willie, uh,

I suppose I shouldn't be
telling you my life story,

but, uh, I quit the
insurance business

to become a writer.

I'm working on a book right now.

A western.

So I'm here to, uh,

get background on
Colorado in the 1870s.

Oh, the section on Colorado is
straight back and to your right.

The 9400s.

Well, thank you very much.

You were very helpful.

It's my job.

Will we be seeing you again?

I mean, uh, for
further research.

Oh, yes. You can bet on it.

[♪♪♪]

Psst.

I got a call from Charlie.

About professor Fairgate?

Yeah.

Seems that while the professor
was teaching at Berkeley

a couple of years ago,

two beautiful coeds
mysteriously disappeared.

Now, Kris is going
to audit his class,

but Charlie wants you to
have a talk with him too.

Any news of the background
of the two missing girls?

No, not yet.

Kelly is digging into that.

So I guess it's up to you to
take a sh*t at the boyfriend

of the last girl
who disappeared.

This isn't the
Colorado section, Zach.

Zach?

"Phanomenologie des Geistes."

A very interesting
flavor for a western,

wouldn't you say?

A Teutonic western?

Mm-hm.

Oh, how unique.

Mmm.

[♪♪♪]

Wunderbar.

You Richard Milligan?

Yeah, you're Tiffany Welles?

Nice to meet you.

I got your message. Good.

Let's walk, shall we?

What's going on in the
sorority house? Where's Jenny?

I was hoping you could tell me.

All I can tell you is
that I really miss her,

and I never thought I'd
say that about anybody.

[SIGHS]

I'm not real proud of it,

but somehow I became
kind of a professional student.

Back in the '60s and early 70s,

I was into all the causes,
the protests, everything.

Then the times changed
and for a long time I couldn't.

And then Jenny came along.

Yeah, then Jenny came along.

You were the last person

to see her Friday
night, weren't you?

Yeah.

Why didn't you go with her?

She had sorority business.

Wait a minute.

[SIGHS]

Okay, I'll level with you.

We had a fight.

But I met some
friends at the library

right after I left Jenny.

And I spent the weekend
at the beach with them.

Sounds like a
pretty tight alibi.

Hey. I wouldn't hurt her.

Okay.

She was in one of
Professor Fairgate's classes,

wasn't she? Oh, yeah.

Doesn't sound to me like
you're one of his greatest fans.

Oh, that might be the
understatement of the year.

You know, there's nothing
unusual about a college girl

getting a crush on a professor.

It happens a lot.
It happened to me.

Yeah. Did your professor
returned your affection?

Of course not. [SCOFFS]

Well, unfortunately,

Professor Fairgate
isn't so chivalrous.

Oh.

[♪♪♪]

I checked out both Jenny
and Beth, very carefully.

Neither family is
particularly wealthy.

So that rules out kidnapping.

Looks that way.

I just talk to Richard Milligan.

You know, I think
he's in the clear.

He seems to be very
much in love with Jenny.

I can't see him hurting her.

So, what do we have?

Steve Fitzpatrick,
the football player?

And Professor Fairgate.

Richard tells me that
the good professor

has been known to
offer more than education

to some of his students.

Interesting.

Isn't it?

Kris still planning to
audit one of his classes?

Well, I think from what
you've just told me,

she's gonna do a little
more than just audit his class,

if you know what I mean.

I think I know exactly
what you mean.

[♪♪♪]

FAIRGATE: While The Canterbury
Tales are hardly shocking today,

you must remember
we're talking about England,

prior to the Renaissance.

They still didn't have

the X-rated quality of, uh,
Boccaccio's bawdy Decameron.

So we can safely surmise
that the Italian response

to even the more rowdy
aspects of Chaucer

was relatively tame.

That's it.

We will continue this tomorrow,
God and Chaucer willing. See ya.

Do you? Well, I...
[CLEARS THROAT]

No. We see an example of
that in Fellini's films, for example.

If you know... You
know what I mean.

Uh, excuse me. Yes.

Professor Fairgate? Mm-hm.

Hi, I'm Kris Munroe.

I've heard a lot
about your class,

I was hoping I could audit it.

I don't allow
audits in my class.

Oh.

But I would certainly make
an exception in your case.

Oh, good. I'll see
you in class, then.

One thing. I do have a rule.

If you're late, you're out.

I'll be there.

All right.

[♪♪♪]

Professor Fairgate?

Yes.

May I speak with
you for a moment.

Of course, if you don't mind
walking to my next class.

Sure.

Listen, if you like
to get into my class,

there's usually a
waiting list, but, uh,

I could make an
exception in your case.

Oh, I'm flattered. Thank you.

Actually, I'm doing a
story on Kappa house,

and I wonder there
might be an angle

in these two girls
that disappeared.

[GROANS] Are you a reporter?

No, not anymore.
Just a freelance

former journalism
major looking for a break.

I see. Have you
sold anything yet?

Couple stories to
women's magazines.

I'd like to do some
harder-hitting stuff.

Well, in that case, I have
a very fine Montrachet.

It's excellent vintage.

You don't believe in
wasting any time, do you?

Heh-heh. No, I have
very high standards.

And when I find
someone that meets them,

I believe in action.

Well, that leads me to
counter with a reaction.

Which is? To leave things

on a business level.

At least for now.

Then there's a possibility.

There's always a possibility.

What can I do to help you?

Well, your class is
the only link I can find

between Beth Thomas
and Jenny Harris.

And I was wondering
if you could tell me

anything that could
help locate them.

They were both bright,
good-looking girls.

Other than that, I can't recall
anything out of the ordinary.

[WOMAN SHRIEKS]

You didn't have any contact
with them outside of class?

[CHUCKLES]

Considering my reputation,
that's a pretty fair question.

In answer to the question, no.

Uh-huh. What about 1977?

Weren't you
lecturing at Berkeley?

Yes, I was. Why?

Do you remember
anything about the two girls

that disappeared up there?

Not really, but I
think I had left there

before these incidents.

I was wondering if
there could be a tie-in

with the disappearances
down here.

Oh, I don't know.

Look, I'm sure girls disappear,

run away, leave or whatever,

from campuses all over
the country every year.

Look, I wish I could help
you, but I've got to go inside.

Well, that's all I wanted to
ask you anyway. Thank you.

Don't forget my offer.

The Montrachet?

And everything
that goes with it.

[♪♪♪]

Mm-hm.

Yeah, all right. I'll tell
him about it right now.

Yeah.

Now, how are they?

They're okay.

Some lady reporter
has been nosing around.

The professor wants
to talk to you about it.

I'll get on it right
away. You'll be okay?

Oh, I think I can
handle these two.

WOMAN: I swear to
be loyal to the sisters

of Kappa Omega Psi.

ALL: I swear to be loyal to
the sisters of Kappa Omega Psi.

To uphold its ideals.

ALL: To uphold its ideals.

And I promise I will
never reveal my secret

of the sorority.

ALL: And I promise that I
will never reveal my secret

of the sorority.

Congratulations, and
welcome to Kappa house!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Now there's some
business to attend to. Ha-ha.

First, I'm pleased to announce

that our former
president, Tiffany Welles,

has agreed to supervise
the pledge class.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Thank you. In the past,

our sorority was always
known for, well, beautiful girls,

but Tiffany got us going in
a more balanced direction.

Since her time in office,

we've raised money for
the General Charity Fund,

we've participated in
everything from Campus Carnival

to Homecoming.

And I might add that
we're still not ugs,

because four of the last
five Homecoming queens

were Kappa Omega Psis.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Which bring me
to our first project.

And I'd like Tiffany
to tell you about it.

Thank you.

Now, you all know
that we have our rivals

and our enemies,
here on sorority row.

Especially Pi Nu. Boo!

[ALL BOOING]

Now, this feud has been
going on for a long time,

and I think it's
time to stop it.

They've lorded it
over us long enough

with their sports victories
and their trophies.

We have challenged
them to a volleyball game.

All right! All right!

WOMAN: Now, we want volunteers.

We're going to b*at the beast.

Let's hear it. b*at the beast!

ALL [CHANTING]: b*at the beast!
b*at the beast! b*at the beast!

[♪♪♪]

[SHOUTS]

[SHRIEKS, GIGGLES]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

They're weak in the back
court. Get it in the back court.

Right. Yes.

[CHEERING]

WOMAN: Right there!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTS]

Ah, come on.

[LAUGHS]

[ALL CHEERING]

CHEERLEADER: Give me a P!

CROWD: P!

CHEERLEADER: Give me a I!

CROWD: I!

Give me a N! CROWD: N!

CHEERLEADER: Give a U!

CROWD: U!

Pi Nu! Pi Nu! Go team!

[CROWD CHEERING]

[PLAYERS SHOUTING]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Cathy!

Look, it's going great.

Set up that spike we talked
about in the back court.

Okay. Great.

Okay, 14-14.

MAN: Come on, over!

Mine.

All right.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[INDISTINCT SHOUTS]

All right!

TIFFANY: We won,
we won. We really did it.

[ALL CHEERING]

Aren't you a little bit old
to be playing sorority girl?

You certainly have a
winning personality, don't you?

Well, I happen to
like older women.

Do you really? Yes, I do.

Ah.

[♪♪♪]

[YELPING]

[LAUGHING]

I like men, not boys.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

WOMAN: I know. That's great.

CATHY: Oh, hi. Hi.

I really didn't think we
could do it. You know?

Old feud will never be
the same. That's right.

[GIGGLES]

Are you ready?

Why don't you guys
go back to the house?

Okay, Tiffany.

Sure it was a great
game, huh? See you later.

Don't be long, Tiff.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[♪♪♪]

Hey!

Somebody, the door is locked.

Hello?

[DART g*n FIRES]

Let her go.

But the professor
said to grab her.

We will when the time is right.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Well, you're posing
a thr*at to someone.

Means we're on the right track.

By the way, Richard
Milligan's story did check out.

I thought it would.

He did meet with friends
after his fight with Jenny.

So I guess our best
prospect right now

is Professor Fairgate.

In that he was at Berkeley
when those girls disappeared,

and he did get involved
with some of his students.

I'm afraid we're gonna
have to add Steve Fitzpatrick

to the equation.

Superjock?

That's right.

He's got an a* to grind
against Kappa house

who rejected his sister.

Enough to, uh, kidnap two girls?

I don't know. But I don't
think at this point we can afford

to ignore him, do you?

Kelly hasn't been able
to uncover anymore, uh,

background on
those two girls either.

I'll ask her to help
me with the jock.

I'm sure he'll like that.

What about our oversexed
professor of Chaucer?

Well, I'll have Kris take
a little harder run at him.

I'm sure he won't mind that.

I thought I saw
you come in, Zach.

You were right, Willie.

But I didn't see you.

Oh, I was busy in the, uh,

reference section.

Is the young lady helping
you research your book?

Oh, uh, no.

Just an old client.

You know life insurance,
you have to try to keep

those old policies enforced.

I'll bet.

Willie, I was thinking...

How about you and I,
uh, one day after work, uh,

going out for a drink?

Ah, Carrington's Pub
is a swinging place.

Right on.

[SIGHS]

Well, kissy-kissy.

I never heard anybody
call Ms. Campbell "Willie"

in my life.

Getting serious?

So is this case.

Let's go. I'm right behind you.

[♪♪♪]

[PANTING]

That was pretty quick
for a tight end, huh?

[PUFFING] I've seen quicker.

Very impressive time, Steve.

That one felt
pretty quick to me.

BOSLEY: Look, Steve,

I can tell you unofficially

that my team was
interested in you.

You could be a
high draft choice.

And what can you tell
me? Officially, of course.

We're worried about your
trouble-making reputation.

Well, what the heck
does that mean?

Nobody is questioning
your ability to play football.

It's your attitude
that's in question.

My attitude?

We know you were
called into the dean's office

and questioned over
some stupid prank

at one of the sorority houses.

That was nothing.

KELLY: Wrong, Steve.

It's an indication that
you could be trouble.

The word is, Steve,
that your temper

could get in the
way of your ability.

And nobody is going
to invest in a fruitcake.

Hey, now, wait a minute!

Now, listen to me,
I am not fruitcake!

I just did that stunt to
get even with those girls

for what they did
to my kid sister.

KELLY: The way we heard it,

you pulled that stunt
before they rejected her.

Good luck, Steve.

What a waste of talent.

[♪♪♪]

Professor Fairgate. Yes?

Hi. Oh, Kris, isn't it?

My, uh, audit exception.

Or should I say my
exceptional audit.

What can I do for you?

I was having a little trouble
with your assignment.

I was hoping we could
get together over a drink

and discuss it.
Oh, I'm sorry, Kris.

Unfortunately, I'm leaving
for Oxford for a lecture series,

but I'll be back next week.

Can it wait? Oh.

Not time for one little drink?

[SIGHS]

Your place in an hour?

My place in an hour.

Great.

Oh, what happened?

Couldn't the two of
you handle that girl?

Tiffany Welles happens to
be smart and quite resourceful.

I know that, but
I still need her.

Oh, you always get everyone
you want, don't you, James?

Darling, in your
case, I got lucky.

Oh, you don't really want me.

How can you say that?

Would you stop a minute
so I can talk to you?

Look, I'm sorry.

I just have got a lot
of things on my mind.

You're going away
again, aren't you?

Well, I have to. You know that.

And you know why.

When are you coming back?

As soon as we make the delivery.

And then?

Uh, that's gonna be the
end of all this business.

And then you and I...

we're gonna be together
again, just as we planned.

You're lying. You won't
be back and you know it.

Barbara, listen.
Oh, don't worry.

I'll stay by you.

I'm in so deep now,

there's nothing else I can do.

[♪♪♪]

Barbara.

I can't go on

letting you think
I'm a complete fool.

FAIRGATE: Beaujolais '77. I'm,
uh... I'm afraid it will have to do.

Sounds fine.

You wrote this?

Yes, in my lean and hungry days.

Now I'm paid a great
deal to simply spread

my cumulative wisdom
all over the place.

Mmm.

Like to Oxford.

Yes. Oxford tomorrow and,
uh, Geneva on Thursday.

But here's to now.

Well I'm impressed. Ooh!

This is very good.

Thank you.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Excuse me a minute.

[♪♪♪]

Uh, you, uh, ordered a car?

Oh, yes.

Yes, my limousine. I...

I hate to drive, so I order a
car to take me to the airport.

It's the only way to go.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

What are you
doing here so early?

Tiffany Welles isn't
who she said she was.

At least she didn't
write anything

for any women's
magazines that we could find.

Hm.

That's interesting. Hm.

But it doesn't matter.

The third diamond for the sheik

will be ours momentarily.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, I'm sorry, I... I
didn't mean to startle you

Then don't sneak up on people.

Are you gonna flip me again?

Not if you take your
hands off me, I'm not.

Oh, okay.

Um, Tiffany, I came by to
apologize for the other day.

And I thought we
might even be friends.

You did, did you? Yeah.

See, the pro scouts
are thinking twice

about signing me, my kid
sister is still angry at me...

I decided I'll clean
my act up a little bit.

[CHUCKLES]

Plus, you know,
you're really different

from any girl I've ever met.

Heh. I just bet I am.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

You are.

So anyways, I hope
there's no hard feelings.

You wanna be friends?

It's okay. Friends.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Okay.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Bye. Bye-bye.

[♪♪♪]

[GASPS]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Where's Tiffany?

I don't know. She
didn't show up.

I don't like the sound of that.

Neither do I.

I think we better get
over to that sorority house.

Yeah.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[♪♪♪]

I saw her in the
garden an hour ago.

Everyone was so involved,

we didn't even know
she was missing.

What has happened to her?

I hope nothing.

[RINGING]

Hello?

No.

Just a minute.

It's for Tiffany. It's a girl.

All right, I'll take that.

Hello.

Kris. Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

He was a perfect gentleman.

He did tip his hand though.

Kris, I'm afraid
they've got Tiffany.

Oh, there can't be much
time. How do you know?

Fairgate's going to Oxford
tonight, then Geneva.

The same pattern he
followed after those two girls

were taken off the
campus at Berkeley.

Well, if our professor
is white slaving he could

be using the trip to deposit
that money on a Swiss account.

[♪♪♪]

KRIS: Bosley, they're leaving.

Stay with them, we'll
be right behind you.

Okay.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[♪♪♪]

Will you relax?

The boat won't be in view
for at least another hour.

Where's Fairgate?

Oh, he'll be here. Don't worry.

[GROANS]

Oh, my God.

I think we're being followed.

No, it's all right.

Reno, I think I'll go
in and check the girls.

Ms. Kay?

I can't believe
you're involved in this.

Well, Tiffany, you're
a very bright girl.

I think you can figure it out.

Fairgate?

Yes.

He's a very captivating man.

But he's hardly worth this.

[SCOFFS]

That's what I
kept telling myself.

I didn't listen.

[♪♪♪]

I'm sorry, Tiffany.

That you're involved in this.

Are you?

MS. KAY: Yes, I am.

I wish... I wish there
was something I could do.

As I said before,

Professor Fairgate is
a very captivating man.

Well, I guess it all boils down

to what you think of
yourself, doesn't it?

I guess it does.

[SHRIEKS]

What the...?

Okay, back down on the floor.

Get down on the floor.

Come on, you don't
need the g*n, baby.

Wanna take a chance?

[SIGHS]

Get over in the corner
with the rest of them.

Go on.

Okay, tiger. Drop the g*n.

Nice and easy. And slowly.

Now the phone.

[SCOFFS]

[GRUNTS]

Hold it!

Hold it, right there!

Drop it!

Ah, you've certainly been busy.

Yes, I think the
sheik would've had

a little more that
he bargained for.

Well, I never was one
for long ocean voyages.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Tiff, we're all real
sorry about Ms. Kay.

Yeah, me too.

I'm all right.

You sure?

No.

But I will be.

Well, Beth is on her
way to join her folks,

so she's all right.

We really owe you all a lot.

We almost lost her.

And Jenny.

Which would have been
a huge waste of education.

Heh. Well, I'm just
glad to be home.

Me too.

I don't know.

I think Tiffany would
have looked great

behind a harem veil.

TIFFANY: What do
you mean by that?

[ANGELS LAUGH]

[SIGHS]

Bosley, where you going?

Oh, uh, I have a date
at, uh, Carrington's Pub

with a very amorous librarian.

Later, girls.

Mm-hm.

I don't know about you two,

but I've had just
about all the schooling

I can take for a while.

I'll drink to that.

Me too.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]
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