02x22 - Jimmy Olsen, Boy Editor

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Adventures of Superman". Aired: September 19, 1952 – April 28, 1958.*
Watch or Buy on Amazon Merchandise

Beloved series based on comic book characters and concepts that Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created in 1938 where Superman battles crooks, gangsters, and other villains in the fictional city of Metropolis while masquerading "off duty" as Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent.
Post Reply

02x22 - Jimmy Olsen, Boy Editor

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Faster
than a speeding b*llet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Can you imagine
cub reporter Jimmy Olsen

reading the riot act
to editor Perry White?

White, when I can't rely on you

to do a simple thing like
going out for sandwiches!

I... I'm sorry, sir. It
won't happen again.

Believe me, it
won't happen again.

NARRATOR: It all began

the night Perry White
had an att*ck of insomnia.

He tried counting sheep.

One...

two...

three...

four...

But it did no good.

Five million...

five million and one...

five million and two...

So he got up, thinking
he might be hungry.

There was a cold turkey
leg in the refrigerator...

also some leftover
clam chowder...

and all sorts
of other tidbits...

which he topped
off with a cigar.

After that, he didn't know
whether he felt better or not.

But at least he
slept... or thinks he did.

And then suddenly it
was bright daylight...

and realized he was late.

He shaved, showered
and dressed...

then raced across town in a taxi

to the Daily Planet building

and up to the editorial
offices on the 18th floor.

What do you think you're doing?

Kent!

Kent!

Did you call me, chief?

No, I called Kent.
Is your name Kent?

What's all the sh**t' about?

And is your name Kent?

No, sir. My name's
Jimmy Olsen, chief.

Don't call me chief!

And can either of you nitwits

tell me what that
man thinks he's doing?

Well, it looks like he's
taking your name off the door.

Who told you to do
such a ridiculous thing?

Superman.

Oh, so it's you, is it?
What's the big idea?

Well, actually, Mr. White,
it was your own idea.

My idea? What do you mean?

Don't you remember
several months ago

a number of the civic
leaders of Metropolis

agreed to my plan of
instituting a Boy's Day program?

That's right, chief.

And you were one of
the most enthusiastic.

You mean to say that he...?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, I'm gonna be editor

of the Daily Planet
for the next 24 hours.

And I expect plenty of
cooperation out of everybody.

Why, you...!
Remember, Mr. White,

this was partly your own idea.

Now listen to me.

Talking about these
things is one thing,

but actually doing
them is absolutely silly.

Great Caesar's ghost!

What gives you the idea

that a young
whippersnapper like Olsen

can run the most important
paper in Metropolis?

After all, it's
only for 24 hours.

He could ruin the
paper in 24 hours.

Well actually, Mr. White,

things are quiet in the city.

Most of the known hoodlums
are already behind bars.

Thanks to you.

And the point is this:

nothing terribly
important can happen

in such a short space of time.

You mean I'm just a figurehead?

You're just a
figure, with no head.

Look, chief,
there's a boy mayor,

a boy chief of police,

and a boy everything
else in town today,

so I guess you're just
stuck with a boy editor.

Okay.

I'll be in the sitting
room if you want me.

Chief.

Don't call me chief!

[LAUGHS]

Good luck, Jim.

Thanks, Superman.

Golly, what a
reporter he'd make.

Why, he could be to the
fires before the fire engines.

But if he thinks I'm
gonna sit around here

for the next 24
hours doing nothing,

he's just as wrong
as Mr. White is.

You mean you're
really gonna be boss?

You bet.

And seeing as how there
aren't any good stories coming in,

I'm gonna make one.

Well, like how?

Do you remember Legs Leemy?

Well, sure. He was
the chief suspect

in that $2 million armored-car
holdup five or six years ago.

But they didn't have enough
evidence to convict him.

That's right, Miss Lane.

But it wasn't five
or six years ago,

it was seven years
ago, tomorrow.

You mean, after today,

the statute of limitations
will protect him,

and they'll never be able
to try Leemy for that holdup.

That's exactly what I mean.

Hello? Give me the Press Room.

Jimmy, wait a minute. You
don't have any new evidence.

Press Room?

Hold page one for a replate.

Did you get it?

Yeah.

[HALTINGLY] "Brilliant
young editor of Daily Planet

unearths new evidence
in Legs Leemy case."

Gee, Legs, you read real good!

Shut up. Let the boss
read about hisself.

"Ferret-like investigation work
on the part of James Olsen,

"editor of the Daily Planet,
has turned up new evidence

"which may, at the last minute,
convict the notorious Legs Leemy

"before the seven
years statue of limitations

"allows this dangerous
public enemy

to walk the streets a
guilty but free man."

Gee, Legs, that's a
real good write-up.

You think I'm
lookin' for publicity?

Twenty-four hours from now,
they wouldn't be able to touch me.

But if this punk kid has
really turned something up...

Hey, that could
be bad, huh, boss?

Very bad... for him.

Come on. Let's go.

[♪♪♪]

Well...

Oh, uh, hello, Kent.

For a moment I thought
you were Jimmy Olsen.

I've often caught him that way.

Well, I almost am Olsen
for today, heaven help me.

Oh, yes, I'd forgotten, chief.

Today you and Jimmy are
trading places, that right?

Kent, that young whippersnapper
is gonna ruin this newspaper.

In one day?

Less, probably.

Did you seen that ridiculous
story he ran on page one?

Yes, it's quite a story.

Don't you think he's
turned something up.

Bosh.

The finest police
minds in this country

tried to pin that story on
Legs Leemy and couldn't.

And you don't think he
turned up any new evidence?

What do you think?

I think I'd better ask him.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, uh, Kent... Yes?

Do you mind sharing
your office with me today?

I... I just can't stand the
way everybody looks at me

down in the City Room.

[LAUGHS]

Sure, chief. Glad to have you.

[SIGHS]

Did you find anything
in those files?

No. How about you?

Nothin'. Absolutely nothin'.

I guess I really stuck
my neck out this time.

And when you
stick your neck out,

you know what can
happen, don't you?

You mean like what happened
to the turkey on Thanksgiving Day.

That's what I mean.

That's right, Jim.
You're boss today,

but Perry White
comes back tomorrow,

and he could fire you
for running a phony story.

JIMMY: But, golly, Mr. Kent,

[OVER INTERCOM]
the chief is always talking

about aggressive journalism,

get behind the
story, make it happen.

Then, sure, Jim.

But when you start to
make something happen,

you'd better
really do it, or else.

You know what I mean?

LOIS: Maybe we'd better
start trying real hard, Jim.

JIMMY: Yeah.

Gimme another stack
of those folders, will ya?

I flipped the switch
on the intercom.

Good idea, Kent.

At least you'll be able to
hear what's going on in there.

It's going to be
hard on my nerves,

but... I suppose if
that young idiot starts

burning down the building,
nobody will blame me

for going in there
with a fire extinguisher.

LOIS: I've looked through
80 jillion folders, Jim,

and I'm right where I started.

JIMMY: The Daily Planet

and its brilliant young
editor never rest, Miss Lane.

I'll see Legs Leemy in
jail if it's the last thing I do.

LEGS: And it may well be
the last thing you do, pal.

Legs Leemy!

Great Caesar's ghost!

Now, Legs?

Yeah. Now.

You... You wouldn't dare!

Wait a minute.

Ms. Lane doesn't know
anything about this.

If you gotta sh**t
anybody, sh**t me.

They're gonna sh**t them, Kent!

Do something! It's
too dangerous, chief.

For you, maybe. Wait a minute.

If we rush in there,
there's sure to be sh**ting.

But I don't think
that Legs Leemy

wants to add m*rder to
his list of crimes right now.

Maybe you're right.

Better play for time.

Exactly.

I do wish Superman were here.

I don't think even Superman
could help you right now.

He could break in and
take those two thugs,

but meanwhile Lois
and Jimmy might get hurt.

That crazy kid.

JIMMY: I guess I'm just
a crazy kid, Miss Lane.

I wouldn't have got you
into this jam for anything.

Point that thing
down, will you, Toots?

It makes me nervous.

So, what's this new
evidence you got on me, kid?

I'm not gonna tell you anything.

Okay, Toots. You
can raise it again.

Uh... wait a minute.

I'll tell ya.

Down, Toots.

Honest, Legs... I
mean, Mr. Leemy.

I don't know anything.

Now will you let Miss Lane go?

Who you tryin' to kid, hero?

But it's true.

The whole story
was just made up,

so you see you have
nothing to worry about.

Why, you can leave
any time you want.

Please, lady, you pain me.

No big newspaper
like the Daily Planet's

gonna pull a story like
that if they can't back it up.

Besides, it don't make
no difference, anyways.

It don't? I mean, it doesn't?

No, because by midnight tonight,

they won't be able to prosecute
me for that holdup anyways.

Se we just sit around
here till tomorrow.

All five of us, real cozy-like.

And if nobody bothers us,

nothing's gonna
happen to you kids.

And it'll be a real happy
ending for everybody.

So now be good little children

and sit over there
on that divan.

[BOTH SIGH]

Well, at least Lois
and Jimmy are safe.

And those hoodlums are
making fools out of all of us.

By George, when the Planet
prints a story, it means it!

Aren't you changing
your tune, chief?

You mean you're going
to back Jimmy up now?

He's the editor, isn't he?

I'll back him to the
limit. Until tomorrow.

Then I'll fire that young
whippersnapper so fast

it'll make his head swim!

Well, meanwhile, let's
alert the authorities.

I don't want Legs and
these thugs to get away.

[SIRENS BLARING,
TIRES SCREECHING]

Bells, whistles, sirens.

Sounds like a five-alarm fire.

They got the whole
block surrounded.

Looks like we're gonna
have to sh**t our way out.

Always wanted to
sh**t my way out,

just like they do in the movies.

No, stupid!

We don't have to
do anything like that.

By midnight tonight, we
walk out of here free men.

Aren't you forgetting
something, Legs?

Looks to me like they
thought of everything.

Not quite, Jim.

Okay, smart sister.
What'd I forget?

LOIS: Simply that even
if you wait out the time,

they'll get you on a new
charge, a g*n charge.

Smart girl, Lois.

Not so smart. She should
have kept it to herself.

She's right.

Why didn't one of you
lugs think about that?

You're supposed to
be the brains, Legs.

Why didn't you think of it?

Oh, shut up!

We could always jam
it down the kid's throat.

So the worst we draw
is a year on a g*n rap,

instead of 20 to 30
for that armed robbery.

Then we're out, and
we still got the $2 million.

You mean you've
actually got the two million?

With you?

Right here. In this bag.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

What's so funny?

JIMMY: Well, for Pete's sake,

you don't think they're
gonna let you keep it, do you?

You mean they really
won't let us keep it, Legs?

It's ours.

We stole it, didn't we?

Hanging around with you
two stupes must be catching.

But I know one thing for sure:

If we don't walk out of
here tomorrow morning,

without bein' pinched
and with the dough,

a certain smart aleck,
genius boy-type editor

ain't never goin' no
place again, ever.

He means you, Jim.

Meanwhile's, we
got lots of time to k*ll.

So, uh... So relax.

Relax? Sure, why not?

Anybody for sandwiches?

Sure, kid, sure.

Like they say in the books,

"The condemned man
ate a hearty sandwich."

Hello, Gertrude?

Will you please tell Mister...?

I mean, tell White to send
some sandwiches in here.

And tell him to hurry.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Open it.

The sandwiches, chief.

LEGS: Close it.

Who are these men?

Oh, they're just
casual friends of mine.

Hm, I... I thought at first maybe
they were machine-g*n salesmen.

No, it ain't legal to
sell machine g*ns.

All right. Cut the act, pops.

You and all them
squad cars out there,

you know what the score is.

But we ain't worried, are we?

Us, worried? Ha.

Well, ahem,

I hope the sandwiches
will be satisfactory.

You didn't tell me what
kind to get, and, uh,

well, generally I hate
to make decisions

without your approval, sir.

Oh, I wouldn't
worry about it, White.

They're gonna be all right.

Goin' someplace, kid?

Me? Course not.

Well, then, sit down!

Well, might as well eat them
while they're hot, I guess.

Hamburgers!

Wait a minute.

Gosh, boss. What's the matter?

How do we know them
things ain't poisoned?

Poisoned?

Jeepers, you don't
think they'd try to poison

Miss Lane and me, do ya?

They might sacrifice
you to get to us.

Look, I'll prove to
you they're all right.

Hold it!

Nobody eats those
hamburgers, you hear me?

We're gonna throw
'em over the balcony.

My, that's a pretty
g*n you have.

Thanks.

So nice and clean.

Gee, it must be fun
to have a lot of g*ns.

A lot? Who needs a lot?

All we got is Betsy.

Oh, just the one, eh? Mm-hm.

You must be strong.

Why, I bet I
couldn't even lift it.

Sure, you could.
Betsy ain't heavy.

Here, see?

LOIS: Don't anybody move!

Nice going, Miss Lane.

I'll tell them to send
in the police right away.

Someday, Toots, I'm
gonna buy a microscope

and examine your brain.

Gertrude, send the police
into my office immediately.

Gertrude?

Looks like you're
cut off, huh, kid?

Stay where you are.

Now, Miss Lane...

let's face it.

You're just, uh,
not the sort of girl

who could, uh, go around

blastin' people with
a g*n like that, right?

I... I'm afraid I'm not.

But if it doesn't
have any b*ll*ts in it,

you couldn't use it
either, could you?

Kent, we've got to do something!

Smart girl. She's
f*ring at the ceiling.

It's even lighter now, Toots,
with all the b*ll*ts gone.

Come on, Jim, let's go.

Okay, that's far enough.

But Toots said that
was the only g*n.

That was the only
machine g*n, Miss Lane.

Now get back over there
and do like I said: Relax!

Sure, and what better atmosphere
could we have to do it in?

Allow me.

Well, inasmuch as even you are
my superior on the paper today,

what do you suggest we do
about this ridiculous situation?

Chief, I wish I could
think of something...

JIMMY: Mr. Legs, you should
read Miss Lane's etiquette column.

She says it's impolite to point,

especially with a
g*n in your hand.

LEGS: You oughta read my column.

It says when my stomach
gets empty, I get nervous.

My g*n hand begins to shake.

Why didn't that crazy fool
eat some of those sandwiches?

He was afraid
they were poisoned.

I wish they were.

And I wish Olsen had
eaten several of them.

Soon as I get through
splitting this up, boys,

we each grab a stack.

In 15 minutes, we walk
out of here free as birds.

Excuse me, Mr. Legs but,
uh, you just made a mistake.

You put an extra
one into your pile.

[SCOFFS, LAUGHS]

Oh, yeah, so I did. So I did.

Imagine that!

I don't know what
I'd do without you, kid.

Neither do we.

Here. That's for
keepin' him honest.

Gee, thanks.

Hey, Miss Lane,

does the serial number
69296970G mean anything to you?

It sure does.

Those files we went through,

that was one of the
listed serial numbers

on the stolen bills.

So what?

JIMMY: So this money is
all the evidence they need

to send you guys up the river.

Oh, no.

Why doesn't he just
ask them to sh**t him

and get it over with?

Thanks, kid.

I didn't know whether they
had those numbers or not.

So now I quit bein' nice.

One phony move out of
you and your number's up.

Oh, I can just see the
headlines tomorrow.

"Boy Editor Opens Big
Mouth Once Too Often."

How true, how true.

Kent, we've got to do
something, and quick.

I don't want anything
to happen to Olsen...

until I get my hands on him.

Well, I can't think of
anything cooped up here.

Maybe some fresh
air will give me an idea.

Wait, I'll go with you.

No. Someone ought to stay here.

I'm just the office
boy, remember?

That's right, you are.

So I'll make it an
order. Stay here!

[♪♪♪]

It's a bit unusual,

but seeing as how
it's you, Superman,

I suppose it'll be all right.

Thank you, doctor. It's very
urgent or I wouldn't have asked.

This should do the
trick. It's a new type.

Very effective, but harmless.

No odor, no bad aftereffects.

Thanks again. I'll let
you know what happens.

[♪♪♪]

Three minutes to go.

[SIGHS]

You gotta give
the kid credit, Legs.

Having the nerve to go
to sleep at a time like this.

[YAWNING] Yeah, I guess so.

There's something about yawning.

One person does it, and...

[YAWNS]

before you know it...

[YAWNS] everybody's doin' it.

[YAWNS]

Ain't it the truth.

Hey, stupid, what
do you think you're...?

[YAWNS]

Move over.

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

Kent, I'm going crazy.

What's the matter, chief?

Nothing, except I'd swear

that everyone in my
office has gone fast asleep.

Well, this may sound crazy,

but I have a hunch
that it's now or never.

You get ahold of
the police downstairs,

and then follow me right in.

[SNORING]

Chief, get Jimmy.

Bring him over
here at the window

I'm sorely tempted
to do something

I'd probably never regret.

Chief... What happened?

That's what we'd like to know.

Whatever made
you all go to sleep?

Ask Jimmy.

It was merely a matter of
the power of suggestion.

I knew if they saw me
yawning and falling asleep,

their subconscious libido
would force a chain reaction

into their cerebellum,
inducing involuntary slumber.

You gotta use your head

when you're behind
that desk, you know.

Well, however
you did it, it worked.

In fact, it's the most
important arrest of this year.

The mayor and chief of police

are on their way up here
now to do the honors.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

The mayor and
chief of police, sir.

Take over, chief.

Yes, sir.

Good work, chief.

I don't know what adults
make such a fuss about.

Take over, officer.

Yes, sir.

[LAUGHS]

I can't believe it.

I must go home and go to bed,

so that when I wake up,

I'll realize this whole
thing never happened.

That's a good idea, chief.

And when you do wake
up, look at a calendar.

And if it's today,

you'll realize this whole
thing was just a bad dream.

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]
Post Reply