04x08 & 04x09 - Store Wars with the Casagrandes/Lucha Fever with the Casagrandes

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Loud House". Aired: May 2, 2016 - present.*
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
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04x08 & 04x09 - Store Wars with the Casagrandes/Lucha Fever with the Casagrandes

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

Hey, it's me, Ronnie Anne!

If you like The Louds,
come meet my family.

My mom, my brother, Abuelo,
Abuela, Tío Carlos, Tía Frida,

my cousins Carlota, CJ,
Carl, and Carlitos,

and our pets,
Sergio and Lalo.

We are the Casagrandes!

[Spanish music]

♪ ♪

- Aye, mijo.

I need to know
where your abuelo

gets this salsa verde from.

It's the best I've ever had.

- Sorry, Margarita,
it's a mercado secret.

- Maybe this will change
your mind?

- "Buy haircuts,
get one free."

Oh, thanks, but I'm good.

My girlfriend Lori
cuts my hair.

- [groans]
I can tell, muchacho.

- Bobby, come on!

They're finally opening up
that mystery store

across the street!

- Ooh, I hope it's a gym.
I really want to get ripped.

Or a movie theater, 'cause
just sitting is fine, too.

[crowd ooh and aah]

- Nice! I was right!
A gym!

"Hi 'N' Buy?"
Oh, it's a supermarket.

That's not good.
- Don't worry.

I'm sure they don't have
anything the mercado doesn't.

- We don't have a red carpet!

Or a magic piano
or any of this!

- You could fit, like,
five mercados in this place.

Whoa!
Check that out!

- [gasps]

- Neat, huh?

We'll chop any veggie
you purchase, free of charge.

Care to sample our spa water?
Today's flavor is Island Sky.

- I didn't even know
that was a flavor.

- How about a cocktail weenie

with a flight
of dipping sauces?

- Oh!

- Okay, I've seen enough.

- Hi, there.

I'm River, and I'll
be your checkout buddy.

- Sorry, we were just leaving.

- Oh, well,
here's your parting gift,

a good-luck penny!

You can keep it
or make a wish in our fountain!

[splash]
- Huh?

Well, I hope you wished
for this place to close!

There's no way the mercado
can compete with it.

- Don't worry, Bobby.

We have the most loyal
customers in the wor--

[machine beeps]
- Vito?

- Uh, hey, kids. Uh,
I was just looking around.

- And buying half the store?

- Uh, I'm sorry,

but they got a whole aisle
of gourmet taffy.

And look!
[beep]

It makes a little beep
every time you scan an item.

Oh, I feel so alive!

- [groans]
- Chill.

One of our customers
shopping here is no big deal.

Or two.

Oh, come on!

- We're in trouble.

The new supermarket
is stealing our customers.

We gotta make changes,

or else the mercado
will be history!

[all gasping]
- Hang on, Roberto.

The mercado's
not going anywhere.

We've been going strong
for decades.

- Trust me, Abuelo.

I had a lot of jobs

back in Royal Woods,

and I saw tons of family stores

get crushed by bigger chains.

I worked at a Corn Dog Hut
that went under

when a Corn Dog House
moved into town,

but then, Corn Dog House
bit the dust

because of a Corn Dog Mansion.

Pretty soon,
a Corn Dog Palace came in and--

- [squawk]
We get the point!

- We can't lose our business.
This place is our home!

- Think of the blood,
the sweat,

the tears that went
into building it!

Oh, it's too much to bear!

- The mercado was my first job!

- And I want it to be my job
for the rest of my life!

We gotta fight back.

- Mijo, if you think
we're in danger

of losing the business,
I'll do anything to save it.

- Me too!
- Absolutely.

- All right! Here's my plan

First, we put up
a sign advertising

the "new and improved"
Mercado Casagrande,

stock new merchandise,

and offer our customers
new services.

From the moment
our customers enter,

we have to give them
the shopping experience

of their dreams.

That means
no sarcastic comments

to the customers,
okay, pal?

- [squawking]
Okay, pal!

- That still sounded sarcastic.

[Spanish music]

- Ooh!
[baby babbles]

- He says,
"Welcome to the mercado."

[baby babbles]

- Oh, and let him know
if you need anything.

- Oh, how precious!

- Thanks, CJ!
- I'm here to help!

- Your flauta samples
are going fast!

- Mmm!
- Good, right?

Better than the samples
at the Bye-Bye store!

- Actually,
I think it's called--

- Eat, eat!
- [chokes]

- Thanks so much
for watching her.

You cut my shopping time
in half!

- So glad I could help!
We're proud to be

the only store
in the neighborhood

that offers
a free babysitting service.

- It's gourmet ketchup

made with the finest
heirloom tomatoes.

Your hamburgers
will never be the same!

- Free fruit peeling?
Hmm, what's the catch?

- No catch!

Just one of the many perks
of shopping at the mercado.

- Make sure you get
the stringy bits!

They get stuck in my dentures!

- Uh, greetings!
I'll be your line friend.

Can I make your wait
more enjoyable with a fun fact?

- [moans]
- Licorice, huh?

Did you know that Caesar
was one of its earliest fans?

- Oh, you don't say!
I do love the man's salads.

- Self-checkout right here.
No line!

- Hmm?
Where's the scanner?

- Cereal, beep!
$ . .

One can of tuna, beep!
$ . .

- What the...

- A parting gift for you
of this moment in time.

- Yikes!
[squawking]

I mean, wow!
Work those angles, girl!

- [groans]

♪ ♪

- Hey!
How did the deliveries go?

- Awesome!

But the next time someone
on the fourth floor

orders kitty litter,
you're carrying it.

- You got it!

- Your high-fives
are useless to me.

- Oh, right.
You're more of a hugger.

- [yells]

[grunts angrily]

- You guys, all the changes
we made really worked!

This was our best day
in months.

all: Yay!

- Thanks for taking charge,mijo.
- Thank you!

You guys worked
so hard today.

Go to bed.
I'll close up.

- [hums]

Vito?
- Oh!

Uh, I'm sorry,
but I had no choice!

I needed my bedtime cookie,

and the supermarket is
the only place on the block

that's still open!

- Well, I don't know
why they are.

No one else shops
this late.

- Oh, I do.

I can grab a snack
before my midnight shift!

- You talking
about that new market?

Love it!

As an insomniac,
I finally feel seen.

- Well, uh,
didn't you guys know

that we're open hours, too?

- Then why are
you closing the gate?

- 'Cause I, uh, uh--
I was just cleaning it!

[yells]

Yep.
Open all night!

- Bobby, this is crazy!

We can't work all night,

no matter how much
hot cocoa you dish out.

- If I don't get
hours of sleep,

I turn into a real grouch.

- Mmm-hmm.He does.

- I'm sorry, guys,
but this is about survival.

If the new place is open
all night, we need to be, too.

Eventually we'll take shifts,

but for now,
I need all hands on deck.

- Vámonos!

I'll make something
to keep our energy up.

- Don't need it.
I'm a night owl.

- Really?

Then I shouldn't save
a churro for you?

- Uh, can you put it
in my room?

- Yay!
This is gonna be fun!

[all clamoring]

- Thanks, fam.
To your posts!

[clock ticking]

[music winding down]

- [snores]

♪ ♪

- [snores, yells]

- More sugar, Ronalda.

- One blan of bleans.

I mean bean a hans.

Beep!
. blean.

- Hi, is this
the babysitting area?

- Oh.
Yep!

- So you'll look after
any baby?

- Uh, yes.

- Great!
Clara, Anthony!

[whistles]

[telephone rings]

- Mercasa Grando,
how I help you?

- [yawns]

Oh, you've heard
that fact before?

Well, excuse me!

- Carl, CJ, look alive.
Maybelle called in an order.

I need a dozen mangoes,
no bruises,

three cans of mango pulp,
two packs of mango gum,

one pint of mango sorbet,
and a roll of toilet paper.

- [shrieks]
- [groans]

[baby cries]

- Babies, no!

[crowd murmurs]

- Wait, don't go!
We have churros!

- Ugh!
These are salty!

- [stammers] Oh, my babies
have high blood pressure!

- Never mind churros!

We have, uh, uh, uh...

- This is bad, right?

- Yes, and it's my fault.

No matter what we do,

we'll never be able
to keep up with Hi 'N' Buy.

They're too big, and we're
just the little guy.

- It's okay, mijo.
I'm proud of you for trying.

I'm just sad we're not going
to be around much longer.

- Let's all get some sleep.

- Oh!

[crash]
A little help!

- [sighs]

[sad guitar music]

♪ ♪

- Fruit delivery!

Whoa, what happened in here?
- Don't ask, Par.

And just so you know,

this will probably be
your last delivery to us.

I--I think we'll be going out
of business soon.

- No!

Where am I going to get
my hair wax?

You guys order
that specially for me.

- Sorry, Par,
but--wait a minute!

You just gave me an idea
about how to save this place!

- Cool.

- Here you go, Mrs. Flores.

I set aside your morning paper
and your favorite breakfast,

Abuela's homemade
chocolate concha.

- Oh, you know me too well.
Gracias, Bobby!

- Hey!

Hope you guys caught up
on your sleep.

- Bobby, where's our kiosks?

Why'd you change
everything back?

- Because I realized
we don't need to be more

like that other market.

We need to be more
like ourselves.

- Morning, Casagrandes!

Thanks for the call, Bobby.

So you got more
of my salsa verde?

- You bet!
- I better take two.

[chuckles]

Ay, what would I do
without this mercado?

- See?

We've got something that
other stores will never have.

We know our customers better
than anyone else could.

- Bobby, I got your message!

You got in more of those
amazing tamarindo balls?

- Right in the usual spot.
- Noice!

- Hey, Mr. Nakamura!

I found one of my Abuela's
special elixirs

for Nelson's gas problem.
[bark]

- He doesn't like to talk
about it in public.

[dog farts]

You know, this is
the only place around here

that still feels
like a neighborhood store.

- Thanks,

though we like to think
of it as a family store.

- What's the matter, Vito?

Did Hi 'N' Buy
run out of gourmet taffy?

- No, but it gave me
the--[hiccups]

the nastiest case
of the--[hiccups]

- Psst.
- Perfecto!

Try this agua mineral.
It's my special hiccup cure.

- Ooh! It worked!

Uh, so about, uh, me
shopping across the street,

I just wanna say--

- Let's pretend
it never happened.

- Yeah, okay, I'm good.

- You know, I think we're going
to be in business

for a long time.

Right, Bobby?
Bobby?

- [snores]

[Spanish rock music]

♪ ♪

- Don't miss the wrestler
who takes the ring by storm,

La Tormenta!

- I've been following
La Tormenta for years.

She's the coolest!

- [squawking]
Nine-time world champion!

- It says her signature move
is The Tornado Twist.

What's that?

- Glad you asked.

Yeah!
Sergio!

La Tormenta stands
on the top rope!

Here it comes!

The move everyone's
been waiting for--

the Tornado Twist!

- Ah!
- [squawking]

- That was awesome!

- Wait till you see
La Tormenta do it,

and tomorrow's
your last chance.

It's her final
World Championship

before she retires!

- I am so in!

- It is an honor
to accept this award.

- Don't forget to speak up

so the people in
the cheap seats can hear you.

And stand up straight!

- What are you guys up to?

- We're rehearsing
Carlos' acceptance speech

for his award ceremony.

- Oh, yeah,
when is that again?

- Uh, tomorrow.

- Of course!
Tomorrow.

Great!

- And I'm so happy
that the whole family

will be there to support me.

- That's what
we Casagrandes do.

♪ ♪

- And his award ceremony is
the same exact time

as the Lucha Libre
Championship!

I want to support Tío Carlos,

but the only way to watch
the match is on pay TV!

I can't miss La Tormenta's
last fight!

- Ooh, I know!
Tell your family

you have a fear
of award ceremonies,

or you can't go out because
you're under house arrest!

Course, then we'd have to find

one of those bracelets
for your ankle.

- Or I can pretend to be sick

so I can stay home!

- Wait, but won't that
be hard?

Your mom's a nurse, remember?

- True, but even
a nurse can be fooled.

You just have
to step up your game.

[upbeat music]

First, you gotta make
yourself look sick.

[groans]

You also have to make
your temperature high enough

that your mom lets you
stay home,

but not so high that
she totally freaks out

and takes you to the ER.

Then tell your Mom you're sick
while she's distracted.

That way, she won't realize
you're faking.

- Has anyone seen my red tie?

[dog panting]

- Has anyone seen Carlitos?

- Last minute double shift!
I need coffee!

- [groans]
Mom, I feel sick.

- [gasps]
Oh, no, sweetie!

Here, let me take
your temperature.

.

Hmm, not an emergency,
but that's pretty warm.

You should stay home today.

Get some rest and drink
plenty of fluids, okay?

- I will stay here
and take care of you, mija!

- No!

[stammers]
I mean, uh, I'll be fine.

Really.

- I agree.
It's a low-grade fever.

You don't need
to stay home, Mamá.

Call me if you feel worse.

Frida, please tell Carlos

how sorry I am for missing
his big day!

Of all the times
to be called in to work...

- Don't worry, Abuela.

I've taken care of myself
plenty of times before.

- Come on, Rosa.

We don't want to get stuck
with the cheap seats!

- But--

- [sigh]
- Feel better, Ronnie Anne!

[bell dings]

- Today, one luchadora
will be crowned

champion of the world!

- Love these capes you made!

- [squawking]
Perfect fit!

- Our first match pits
Princesa Valentina...

- [Booing]
Go home!

- Against La Tormenta!

- Oh, yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!

- The winner will move on
to the next round

and be one step closer
to becoming world champion!

[girls cheering,
cell phone rings]

- My dad?
Why's he calling?

Hey, Dad!
- Hey, Chula.

Your abuela called me
and said you were sick.

- [coughs]
Oh, yeah, totally sick.

- Well, let me take
a look at you!

Let's switch to video chat.

- Uh, er,
ho--hold on one sec.

[sighs]

- [gasps]
Oh my!

- Yep, not a pretty sight.

Well, Mom said I should be able
to sleep it off, so...

[yawns]
I should probably get on that.

Thanks for calling, Dad!
I love you! Bye!

- But--

- Nice job!

[grunts]

That's right!
Crush her!

- Yes!
[knock on door]

both: Huh?

- Hey, Ronnie Anne,

your abuela asked me
to check on you.

- [gasps]
It's Par, the produce guy!

- What do we do?

- [retches]
- [giggling]

Um, I--I don't know if you
should come in be--because...

[retches]
- [giggling]

- Hmm, but that sounds
really serious!

- Sergio!
Help!

[squawking,
truck alarm rings]

- Uh, Par, I think
your truck alarm is going off!

- Ah!
Not again!

- C'mon, back to the match!

- La Tormenta has won
her first match,

and now must face

the very dangerous
La Gallina Malvada!

[knock on door]

- Ronnie Anne!
It's Mrs. Kernicky!

- Seriously?
Did Abuela call

the entire neighborhood
to check on me?

Sid, you better hide.

- This pose helps open
the airways.

[inhales]

- Yes, totally.

[yelling]

[knock on door]

- Hello, I'm from the, uh,

Center for Extremely Dangerous
Colds and Spreadable Diseases.

I need you to leave this
contaminated area immediately!

It's for your own safety,
ma'am!

Don't worry.It's me!

- Yeah, I--I know!
How'd you pull that off?

- Oh, the suit
just zips up the front.

- No, I mean--never mind.
You're amazing.

- La Tormenta has defeated
La Gallina Malvada

and now moves on to face
La Tigresa!

- Whoo!
- Oh, yes!

- [squawking]

Abuela alert!
Abuela alert!

- What is she doing here?
Quick, leave through my room!

[yelling, shrieks]

[groans]

- [yells]

- Par told me
you were vomitando

all over the place, so I came
home as soon as I could!

I know how worked up
you get watching sports,

and I don't want you
to have any extra stress

while you're sick.

- No, no, no!

I--I won't get stressed,
and you know what?

I'm actually starting
to feel better,

so I'm just gonna
put the TV back on.

- Nonsense.

Mrs. Kernicky told me a man
from the health department

was here,
so I know this is serious.

Don't worry,
my special remedies

will make you feel better
in no time!

- [stammers]
Special remedies?

Eww!

This smells like minty fish.
Is it really necessary?

- Sí!

Vaparu is good
for all kinds of sickness,

and it keeps me
looking youthful.

Oops!
This one's empty.

Good thing I've got more.

[cell phone rings]

- Hey, what's going
on down there?

Is your Abuela cooking
minty fish?

- No, she's torturing me
with her home remedies,

and the worst part is
I can't watch the match!

- Don't worry.

I'll find a way
to keep you updated!

- Oh, yes,
you will feel much better

once you sweat out
your sickness.

Just rest.
I'll be back soon.

- Okay.[coughs]
Thanks, Abuela.

[indistinct
wrestling commentary]

[chuckles]

- Time for
your next remedy, mija!

- Sounds great, Abuela!

- These chiles will fight
your sickness from the inside.

- Oh!
Fiddlesticks!

- What was that?
- Uh, nothing.

Probably Par dropped
a coconut or something.

- I want you to eat
all of these chiles, mija.

- [groans]

Spicy!

- Oh, it's Carlos calling
from the award ceremony.

Keep eating.
I'll be right back.

Hola, mi rey!
Have you gone on yet?

- [pants]

- La Tormenta is about
to do The Tornado Twist!

- [gasps]
The Tornado Twist?

all:
Tormenta! Tormenta! Tormenta!

- [yells]

- La Tormenta wins the match

and moves on
to the final round

of the Lucha
World Championship!

- Go La Tormenta!
- Whoo!

I may smell
like minty fish for a week,

but it was worth it for this!

- I'm sorry, mijo.
It's okay.

Take a deep breath.

I know you're nervous,
but I just can't make it back.

- But you've never missed
any of my big days

ever since my fourth-grade
science project

on dinosaur DNA.

- Sí, I remember how proud
of you I was that day.

I wish I could be there,
but Ronnie Anne needs me more.

I'm sorry, mijo.

- [sighs]

Abuela?

- What is it, mijita?
Are you worse?

- No.

Actually,
I was never even sick.

I lied because
I wanted to stay home

and watch the Lucha Libre
World Championship.

- Ronnie Anne!

- I am so sorry.

I overheard your conversation
with Tío Carlos.

I feel terrible.

- I can't believe you lied.

Your Tío needed my support,

and I really wanted
to be there for him.

- M--maybe you still can!

- He's about to go on.
It's too late.

- Not if I can help it!

[rock music]

- Más pronto, mija!

♪ ♪

[music stops]

[music resumes]

♪ ♪

- There's one more person
I'd especially like to thank.

She, uh, couldn't be here
today but...

- Aqui estoy, hijo!

- Mamá!

Everyone, my amazing mother!

- [chuckles]

[cheering]

[camera shutter clicks]

- Abuela?
I hope you can forgive me.

- Of course, mija.

We all make mistakes,
and I know

you have a good heart.

I'm sorry you had to miss
the wrestling match.

- That's okay.
This is more important.

- Okay, one more
with the flash!

- Honey, is it okay
if this is the last photo?

I really wanted
to catch the end

of La Tormenta's
championship match!

- [gasps]
You like La Tormenta, too?

- Of course!

I've always admired
strong women.

- Less talking,
more body slamming!

We don't want to miss this!

- La Tormenta
has taken down La Loca!

Uno, dos...

[all groan]

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
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