04x18 - Love Birds/Rocket Men

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Loud House". Aired: May 2, 2016 - present.*
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
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04x18 - Love Birds/Rocket Men

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat music]



- [snarling]

[both snoring]

[barking]

- [chirping]

[romantic music]

[chirps]

[chirps]

[all chirping]

[chirps]

[upbeat music]



- [barks]



- Hmm.

[gasps]

[smooches]

- [meows]
- [pants]

- [whimpers]

[all clamoring]

- [squeals]

[gulps]

[squeals]

- Stop flirting
with my lawn ornament, Loud.

- [gasps]

[squeals]

- Hey, where's Walt?

"The Dream Boat" is on

and he never misses an episode.

- He's such a hopeless
romantic.

Guess Walt's not coming today.

I went out to get him,

but he put a "do not disturb"
sign on his birdhouse.

- Wait, are you saying Walt
knows how to write?

- Of course not, ding-dong.

I know how to read canary.

- Today on The "Dream Boat,"

we catch up
with last season's winners,

first mates Percy and Penny!

- I didn't think
I'd ever go on a date.

- I thought I'd be alone
my whole life.

- But now,
we're happy and in love.

- We just needed help
finding each other.

Thanks, "Dream Boat."

- You're welcome.

[all clamoring]

- [grumbles]

- [yelps]

- [mutters]

- Would you like some tea,
Miss Hummingbird?

It's caffeine-free, which might
help you slow down a little.

- [slurps]

[sighs]

- [chirping]

[chirping]
[continuous]

[groans]

- [emotional cooing]

- Thank you for your song,
mourning dove.

You're really attuned
to deep emotions.

- [emotional coo]

- [chirping]

- [emotional cooing]

- [sad chirps]

[all grumble]

- [hoots]

- Checkmate?
How did I not see this?

Well played, madam.

- [chirping]

- [hoots]

- [retches]

[all whimper]

- [meows]

- [squawks]

[all whimper]

- [quacking]

[both croaking]

[all gasp]

- [chirping]

- [quacking]

[all cheering]

- [meows]

- [croaks]

[meows]

- [yaps]

- [grunts]

- [quacks]

- [grunting]

- [coos]

[quacks]

[all clamoring]

- [meows]

- [yaps]

- [barks]

[farting]

- [whimpers]

[all scream]

- [sad chirps]

[chirps]

- [barks]

- [tweets]

[gasps]
- [quacks]

- Hey, who took the lasagna
out of the oven?

[both laughing]

- [chirps rapidly]

- [quacks rapidly]

[romantic music]



[both coo]

[quacks]

- [barks]

[ducks quacking]

[all gasp]

- [quacks]

- [chirps sadly]

[all moan]

[all whimper]

- [barks]

[all whispering]

- Hey,
what happened to all my sand?

- Has anyone seen
my wave machine?

I need the white noise to nap.

- Three of my orange
polo shirts are missing.

- I borrowed one to change
Vanzilla's oil,

but I don't know what happened
to the other two.

- I seem to be missing
the space heater

needed to warm
my crocodile eggs.

- Your what, now?

- Never mind!

- Ugh.
Who drank all the lemonade?

- Louds!

Which one of you hooligans

cut all the leaves
off my philodendrons?

- Has anyone seen
the beach umbrella?

- Leni, it's fall.

- It is?

Oh. Then never mind.

- [barking]

- [chirps]

[tweets]

[chirping]

[all quacking]

[chirping excitedly]

- [quacks]

[gasps]

[upbeat music]



[laughs]

[both snoring]

- [snores]

[yawns]

[burps]

- [quacks sadly]

[meowing and barking]

- [grumbles]

- [quacks conversationally]

- [barks]

[all whispering]

- [meows]

- [yaps]

- [barks]

- [chirps inquisitively]

[barks conversationally]

- [chirps happily]
- [quacks happily]

- [barks]

- [meows]

- [chirps]

[chirping]

[all whimper]

- [whimpers]

[romantic music]



- [chirps sadly]

- [whimpers]

- [yelps]

- [meows]

[gasps]

[all clamoring]

- [chirping happily]

- [barks]

- Hey, Walt, you got
a postcard from Florida.

Ooh, it's from a duck.

She says she can't wait
to see you again in the spring.

- [squeals]

- Wait, are you saying
this duck knows how to write?

- Of course not, ding-dong.

I can read duck.

- [chirps]

[adventurous music]



-That peace crystal belongs
to the people of Galganon!

I'll give you one last
chance to return it.

- Never.

- Fine. Then we'll take it
back ourselves!

Petra, fire the photon ray!

- The exciting conclusion
of Starship Groupers

will be coming up
right after these messages!

- Dang it.
Commercial break.

- Hey, kids!

Ever wanted to live and train

like a real astronaut?

[both gasp]

Then we've got
the camp for you.

The Space Cadets Experience
is a week-long sleep away camp

where you'll learn everything
about being an astronaut!

Ask your parents now
if you can join the adventure!

- Wow. That looks so fun.

Clyde, we have to go
to this camp.

- Absolutely. I'm gonna go home
right now and ask my dads.

Well, after we finish
the movie.

I always cry when they restore
the peace crystal to Galganon.

- And that's why
I really want to go

to the Space Cadets Experience.

- Uh, it sounds great, sweetie,

but also kind of expensive.

- But, Mom,
when you do the math,

it's actually a great value!

Think about how much
money you'll save

on food while I'm gone!

- So I really think this camp

would be a good
opportunity for me.

- We're glad you're interested
in trying new things, honey,

and you look so dashing
in that suit--

- But it's a whole week
away from home.

Are you sure you're ready?

Yes. Dr. Lopez and I
have been working on

stepping outside
my comfort zone.

- Okay, son, if you're sure
you can handle it.

- Well, Lincoln,
if you really want to go...

both: The answer is yes.

[both cheering]

- Cadet Lincoln,
all systems are go.

- Same here, Cadet Clyde.
We have lift-off.

- Front gate commencing
opening sequence.

- Whoa.
- Ooh.

[kids clamoring]

[both squeal]

- Welcome, space cadets.

My name's Tarreyn,

and I'll be your
camp counselor.

Ready for your first activity?

You'll be hunting for
moon rocks in real space suits!

- [gasps]
Moon rocks!

- Space suits!

[both squeal]

[both laughing]

Whoa!

Whew. This a lot more tiring
than it looks on TV.

[gasps]
My inhaler!

- I got it.

[both groan]

both: Whoa!

- All right!
Human gyroscopes.

- Uh, just so you know, we're,
like, pro thrill seekers,

so don't be afraid
to turn it up to !

both: Whoa!

- This is a little more intense
than I thought it'd be.

- Whoa! Same here.

Could you please
take it down to a nine?

both: Whoa!

- Whoops. Wrong button.

Sorry, dudes.

[both stammering]

[both retch]

- Where's the little
astronaut's room?

We'd like to freshen up.

- Whoa, Clyde,
you gotta see this.

Check it out.

- Wow.

A real-life space toilet.

- I wonder how you flush it.

- Oh. I think it's this handle.

[yells]
Help!

The space toilet's got me!

- I got you.

- [groans]

[both grunt]

- It ate my loafer.

How excited are you
for our first space dinner?

- [groans]

Maybe a little less
excited now.

Well, there's no way it can
taste as bad as it looks.

[both chew loudly]

[both cough]

Wow. I was so, so wrong.

- [sighs]

This is honestly
one of the most

disappointing moments
in my life.

- I'm having a blast.

Can you believe
in less than hours

it'll be our turn
in the flight simulator?

- Flight simulator?
That sounds cool.

- It's the most intense
activity at camp.

- Yeah. Some kids
went on it today

and three of them passed out.
So hardcore.

I can't wait.

[both squeal]

[both gulp]

- Okay, there's no denying it.

Camp is horrible.
We can't stay here.

- And we definitely can't face
the flight simulator.

- We have to ask our parents
to come and get us.

[both yell]

- [snoring]

- Man, I hate these
space sleeping bags.

- Shh!

[phones dialing]

- Hey, dads,
I'm just calling to--

- Hi, Mom and Dad.

I have something
I need to tell you.

both: Camp is awful.
I want to come home.

- Aww, I'm surprised
to hear that.

You seemed so excited about it.

- But it sounded like
something you would love.

- It's just not anything like
what I thought it would be.

- Turns out
it's not fun at all.

- I'm sorry to hear that,
buddy.

- It's a real shame.

- But your dad and I think
that you need

to give camp more of a chance.

- You should spend more time
there before giving up on it.

- I'll bet if you stick it out,

you might even find
you like it.

- I'll give it more time.

Night, Mom and Dad.

- Bye, dads.

[both sigh]

well, I'm stuck here.

- Me, too.

Our parents don't get
how bad camp is,

and it's only
going to get worse.

- I can't do that
flight simulator, Lincoln.

I won't survive it.

- Well, there's only
one thing to do.

We have to escape.

We can take a bus to Liam's
and hide out in his barn

for the rest of the week.

- That plan's completely nuts,

and I'm totally in!

- The front gate's
the only break in the fence.

That's our way out.

How'd you know
to bring camouflage?

- I pack for every occasion.

And yet,
I forgot my backup loafers.

- Uh...

Hmm.

Maybe it's a different button?

[alarm sounds]

Whoops!
Not that one!

- Not that one, either.

Turn it off,
turn it off!

- Cadet Clyde, Cadet Lincoln,
what's going on?

- We're looking for our cabin.

Got lost on the way back
from the...

little astronaut's room.

- Wow, you guys
got really turned around.

Come on.
I'll show you.

Hey, Tarreyn, what's that?

- That's the moon rover.

You guys'll get to take it
for a spin on day three.

- We could use that to crash
through the front gate.

- Here's your cabin

and a map so you don't
get lost next time.

- Thank you.

There won't be a next time

'cause we're getting
out of here.

Dang it.

We'll be gone before anyone
realizes we're missing.

Buckle up, Clyde.

[engine revs]

- Floor it, Lincoln.

- It's already floored.

- [groans]

- Uh, what are you guys doing?

- We were just so excited
to drive the moon rover,

we couldn't wait.

- I get that, but it's
the middle of the night.

Come on.
Back to your cabin.

- Can you, uh, point us
in the right direction?

We don't have the map.

- Okay. Back to square one.

Hey, check out this
recycling building

at the edge of camp!

- Wow. Their commitment
to recycling

is very impressive.

Oh, I see.

The back door
lets out into the forest.

- Let's go.

This is the place.

We're almost free.

[grunts]
- Hang on.

I think I found
the light switch.

- Whoa, even the recycling
building is space-themed.

[both groan]

- Welcome to
the flight simulator.

- What?

- We really need to work
on our map-reading skills.

- Let's get out of here
before it starts.

[both grunting]

- Door locks engaged.

Preparing for takeoff.

Please take your seats.

- [grunts]

- Commencing countdown.

Three, two, one.

Blast off!

both: Whoa!

- Your task
is to safely navigate

through the asteroid field,

or your ship
will be destroyed.

[both scream]

- Right.

Left.

Right.
Oh no, sharp left.

Sharp left.

[both scream]

- Direct impact.

Severe damage to core.

Life support system

will shut down
unless it's repaired.

- How are we supposed
to do that?

- Put on your space suits
and exit the ship.

Locate the blinking panel.

Disable it before time expires
to complete the mission.

- Okay, Clyde,
we can do this.

- seconds remaining.

, , , ...

[heroic music]

- There it is,
the control panel.

[siren wailing]

- , , ...

- [whimpering]

- Cadet Clyde,
initiate Code Leap Frog.

- Roger that.

- [grunts]

- Three, two, one.

both: Whoo-hoo!
We did it!

- Mission accomplished.

Deactivating zero gravity.

[both yell]

- Uh, can somebody
help us get down now, please?

[rock music playing]

- Huh?
Oh, be right there.

- The part where you leapt off
the side of the ship,

that was crazy!

- I can't wait for tomorrow.

when they let us
try out the jet packs.

Hey, Cadets Lincoln and Clyde.

Your parents just called to say
they're coming to get you.

They should be here soon.

[cries]

I'm so sorry camp
wasn't right for you.

[sobs]

[both moan]

- Aww, man.

I was actually starting
to like it here.

- Me, too.

But I guess we have to leave.

[both sigh]

- Oh, my baby.
Are you okay?

We're so sorry
for leaving you here.

- Hi, boys.

- Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.

- We had a parent huddle
and realized

we never should've
made you stay.

- Actually,
you guys were right.

After a little more time,
we realized we like camp.

We shouldn't have
given up so quickly.

- Yeah. And to be honest,
now we're sad to leave.

- But we asked you to come,

and you drove a long way
to get us, so--

- Sweetie,
don't worry about us.

If you want to stay,
you can stay.

- Really? Are you sure?

- Yes, we're proud of you.

It seems like you both learned
an important lesson

about sticking things out.

- Plus, we passed
a -hour pancake house

that I would not mind
trying on the way back.

- That sounds mighty delish.

- Aww.

- Have a great rest
of your week, cadets.

We'll see you Saturday.

- Bye, guys!
- Bye, dads!

- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo!

- Dads, wait!
Do you have any backup loafers?

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house
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