04x26 & 04x27 - Sister Act/House Flip

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Loud House". Aired: May 2, 2016 - present.*
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
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04x26 & 04x27 - Sister Act/House Flip

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat rock music]

- Applying ribbon glitter
requires intense concentration.

I'm going to need you to all
silence your phones.

[cans clattering]

Lana!

- Oh, sorry, Lols!

I'm just trying
to get organized

for the town
recycling challenge.

First place gets free ice cream
at Auntie Pam's Parlor!

But no more noise.
I promise.

- Thank you.
I have a lot to prepare for.

- Kids!
- Nyah!

- Dinner's ready, make a dash!

Dishing out Leftover Hash!

- Oh, yeah!
Wonder what's in it this time.

Let's see, we had
liver and onions Monday,

squid with sauerkraut Tuesday,

lima bean--
- Blech!

- [gags]

[coughs]

- Whoops, sorry, Lans!

- [groans]

All this glitter
and now I look like you.

- [laughs]
You do look like me,

which, you know,
bonus for you.

Wait a minute, Lana.

That gives me a brilliant idea.

[sighs]

Okay, Leftover Hash.

Let's see.
A+ for presentation,

A+ for smell,

and A++ for texture--

delicate yet chunky.

- Wow! Thanks, kiddo.

- Gee, I can't imagine
what's keeping Lola.

Let me go check!

[lively music]

[changing efforts]



- How was your day, sweetie?

- Oh, um, you know.

Uh, pageants.
And, uh, glitter.

And, um, crowns, probably.

[laughs] Just another day
in the life of Lola.

Here you go!

- [chewing]

Hmm?

[giggles]

- Wow! A clean plate
and an A+ for texture?

Last time I served
Leftover Hash,

you ate the rating card
and told me it tasted better.

You feeling okay?

- Oh, um, uh--

I meant F!

- Yeah, that's my Lola.

[clinks]

- Lols, that worked awesome!

No one suspected anything!

[burps]

- Well, if I can ever return
the favor,

just let me--
- Lola! Lana!

It's bath night!

I'll be inspecting
fingernails and ears!

- It's favor time!

- Nail inspection.
Lola, come on out.

Mm-hmm.
Good job, as always, sweetie.

Go tell Lana
it's her turn, please.

- Of course, Mommy.

- Lola!

Sorry, gotta make
it believable.

- S'up, Mom?
Ready for my bath.

- [whispers] Lola!
- I mean, do I gotta?

I like all this mud
and filth and grime.

- Bath.

Wow, Lana, you're sparkling!

- You know it!

I mean, uh,
don't get used to it.

I got plans
to hang out with, uh,

some worms later.

- This plan was genius, Lols!

- I'd say it's nothing,

but we both know
modesty doesn't suit me.

- I was thinking,
why stop now?

We could switch places
whenever we want!

- [gasps]

We'd never have to do

the things we don't like
ever again!

- [grunts]

- Get changed, princess.

The rope is waiting.

- And it will continue
to do so, Coach P.

- This is %
of your grade, kid.

- [groans]

- [grunts]

[bell rings]

- I mean, right away, Coach!

- Oof!

- [clears throat]

- I gotta pee, Coach, uh, P.

- So do I!

[tiara clinks]

- Okay, everyone, move it!

Royalty coming through!

If this damages my nails,

you will be hearing
from my attorney.

Alley-oop!

[bell rings]

- Wow, Lola!

I've never seen that
kind of hustle from you before!

- Oh--
Oh, right.

Um, I'm in training

for a Miss Survivalist pageant.

[laughs]

[school bell rings]

- Aw, crud!

I know Miss Allegra's gonna
call me to the board

and I'm gonna beef it!

- No, you won't.
I got this.

Miss Allegra,

may I please use
the little ladies' room?

- Of course.

- Actually, I need to go too!

Must be a twinsie
bladder thing.

[chuckles]

both: We're back!

- Fantastic.

Lana, why don't you
come to the board

and solve this problem, hmm?

- There's nothing
I'd enjoy more,

except maybe gross stuff like

eating boogers.

Marker, please.

- Well done, Lana.

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, a curtsy!

If I didn't know better,

I'd think you were Lola!

- [gasps]

- [gasps]
- [gasps]

[farting noise]

- [chuckles]
Lana, you're so gross.

- [exhales]
- [exhales]

- How was school today, guys?

- Great!
- Best day ever!

- Well, I hope this won't
put a damper on it,

but Lola, you have a checkup
with Dr. Petersen,

and Lana, you're scheduled
for a teeth cleaning

with Dr. Feinstein.

- Ugh! I hate being around
all those sick people!

Plus, Dr. Petersen's office
smells like old cheese!

- And I don't wanna see
Dr. Feinstein!

Drills are for engine mounts
and lug nuts,

not teeth!

- Oopsie, I seem to have
spilled my book bag!

Lana, would you be so kind
as to join me on the floor

and help me retrieve my things?

- Get it yourself--

oh, uh, it would
be my pleasure.

[both giggle]

- Okey-dokie,

let's get these
appointments over with.

- La-ta-ta-ta!

- [yells]
- [yelps]

- Great news, Lols!

Mayor Davis just called.

I won the recycling challenge!

Free ice cream, here I come!

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo
whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo--

Ow!

- Let's see.

- Ahh...

- Okay, I don't really see--

[gasps]
Ew, it's so gross!

And looks really painful too.

[sneezes]

- Uh, gesundheit.

You getting sick?
- No.

Being sick is not allowed.

My ribbon dance recital
is today

and I've invested
far too much glitter.

- Well, uh, have fun--ow!

- Thanks!
You--choo!

[wheezes]

[groans]

- Lola!

[sniffles]

There's my
ribbon dancing champ!

You ready to dazzle
those judges?

- Ah--

[groans]

- Ooh, that's the look
of a k*ller.

Break a leg, honey!

- [wheezes]

[sneezes]

[delicate music]

[wheezes]

[sneezes]
[all scream]

[sneezes]

- Ooh, ice cream! Ice cream!
Ice cream!

- Well, hello, sweetie!

Congrats on winning the Royal
Woods recycling challenge!

Your prize is one of my
world-famous

Auntie Pam's Slams,

all flavors with

every topping you could
ever dream of!

[groaning]

[yells]

Ugh!

- Is everything okay,
sweetheart?

- Uh-huh.
It's fantastic.

- Well, then have some more,

you recycling champion, you!

- [yells]

[screams]

I can't!

I can't eat it!

- What's wrong, Lana?

- Ahh...

[both gasp]

- Oh, my Go--

[both groaning]

[together] Aww.
Here you go, my little angel.

[both sigh]

- This is unacceptable.

Lola just saw that doctor.

How can she have a cold?

And Lana just saw
the dentist--

how did he miss
what is clearly an abscess?

- You call Feinstein
and I'll call Petersen.

Time to give those so-called
"medical professionals"

the what-for!

[cell phones dialing]
[line trilling]

- Wait!

Don't call anyone.

- This isn't their fault.

This is on--ow!
Us.

- What do you mean?

- I didn't wanna go
to the dentist

- And I didn't wanna go
to the doctor, so we...

both:
Kind of switched places.

- Kind of?

- Kind of totally.

Actually, we've been doing
it for a couple of days now

to get out of all
sorts of stuff.

- Your mother and I are not
happy that you've been lying.

- No, we're not.

You're not babies anymore,

and sometimes
you have to do things

you don't necessarily
like or want to.

- Like plucking nose hairs
or visiting Aunt Ruth.

Uh, but part of growing up

is being responsible
and doing those things.

- You're right.
- We're sorry.

- We'll schedule new
appointments for you

with Dr. Petersen and
Dr. Feinstein right away.

- Thanks.
And don't worry.

We'll definitely
go as ourselves.

I can't go back to Auntie Pam's

until they see
a dental X-ray anyway.

- And I'm not allowed back
on the ribbon dancing circuit

until I produce a note from
the Center for Disease Control.

[sneezes]

I brought my appetite today!

Dazzle me!

- You got it, honey!

Tonight's dinner is leftover
Leftover Hash!

- [sniffs]
Hmm.

Boy, oh, boy,

that squid and sauerkraut
sure has gotten pungent.

No, no, don't worry.

I got this.

[exhales]

Wow, the squid mixed
with the liver

and the lima beans--

separately, I was not a fan.

- Yes, you made that clear.

- But together,
it's actually delicious!

Give me that rating card.

A+.
My compliments to the chef.

- [sobs]

This is going right
on the fridge!

- Hmm, I wonder how Lana's
bath is going.

- Aww, yeah!

- I take it you enjoyed
your bath?

- Yeah!

It's worth being clean to see
how brown the water got.

But the best part was this!

I found it in the drain.

Can I keep him?

- Sure.

- Whee![laughs]

Lola, you gotta meet
my new friend, Harry!

[lively music]

[indistinct chatter]

- I can't wait to get
out of here.

- Seriously, who took
my sunglasses?

[indistinct arguing]

- Hey, hands off the radio!

- I can't hear it anyway!

[car crashes]

- [gasps]

What have you done
to my baby?

- One, two, three--

that's four new dents
since last weekend.

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[chickens clucking]
- Who let a chicken in the car?

- [sighs]
I don't know how many times

your mother and I
have to say this,

but when you're out there
on the road, Lori,

you need to be % focused.

- Which means the rest of you
need to keep quiet and behave.

If we find even one more nick
on Vanzilla,

you can say good-bye

to your driving privileges
indefinitely.

[all gasp]

all: We promise.

- Wow, way to dish out
the discipline, hon.

- Thanks!

You know, we have really
got this parenting thing

down to a science.

We're experts.

- [growls]

- Thanks, Flip.

- Oh, no.
Thank you!

[upbeat music plays]

- Hey, who changed the station?

- I wanna hear
the Top at : !

- Top !
- Today's obituaries.

- This Michigan Life!

[arguing chatter]

- [yells]

All I see is black!

Ow!
Someone help!

- We're looking at sprains,
two minor breaks, and a twist.

- Hey, I ain't got time
for medical speak, Doc.

I'm sitting on a vat
of month-old Flippees

that needs moving.

- You don't be back on your
feet for a least a week.

Is there someone who can
take care of you?

- Nah, Flip's a lone wolf.

[howls]
Ooh!

Gah!
Cheese and crackers!

[yells]

- You guys,
this is all our fault.

We should take care of Flip.

- But how can we do that
without Mom and Dad

finding out what we did?

- Yeah, we'll lose Vanzilla
privileges forever!

- We can hide in the morgue.

A few beds just opened up.

both: Ugh.

- Or we could just hide him
in our attic.

- Actually, that's not
a bad idea.

It's quiet, far away
from Mom and Dad's room.

- The attic it is.

Now we just need a safe way
to get him there.

- [groaning]

- All right,
by my calculations,

we have . minutes
to get Flip in the attic

before our parental units
arrive home from work.

- Red light!
[tire screeches]

- [yells]

- [gasps]
Dad!

Everyone down!

- I know how to distract him!

Hi! I'd like to make
a song request.

- Strap in an start clanging,

'cause we got
a special request

for the new -minute single
from Cowbell and Sebastian.

- Oh, this is my favorite
song ever!

Pow! Pow! Pow!

[bright cowbell music playing]

- [yells]

[groans]

- Sorry about the
rough ride, Flip.

- Don't worry.
Ol' Flip's tough as sandpaper.

- . minutes,
almost in the clear.

- [coos]

[all gasp]

- [yelps]

- Doh, my bad,

- Oh, Mom!

Did I tell you about Carol's
new haircut?

- Oh, uh, no,
I don't think you did.

- She got bangs!

I mean, so brave, right?

- Pretty sure I saw
a perfectly good door

on the front of the house.

- Nah, this is way easier.

[all grunt]

- Okay, but all this up and
down is rattling my innards!

[farts]

all: Ew.

- [grunts]

- Oh, but wait!

You haven't even seen
the pics yet!

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Watch out for the door!

- Here's Carol with a headband.
[laughs]

- So cute.

- Oh, there's more.

[all grunt]

- [yells]

- And, um, here's how her bangs
look pinned back.

Still cute, right?
Right?

- Okay, sorry, Lily really
needs a change, hon.

- Oh, um, I'll do it.
I've got it. [laughs]

Never mind!
It's all you.

- [grumbles]

[all grunt]

- [coughs]

Was the broom closet taken?

- This is the comfiest spot
in the house!

- And you have access
to my collection

of antique medical equipments.

- Hmm.

- Who's got a hankering
for takeout?

- Eh, I could eat!

- Whoa, whoa, you've got
to stay off your feet.

We'll bring you a plate.

- Room service?

Hey, Flip likes
the sound of that!

But no broccoli!

- Well, I'm stuffed!
- Me too!

- I better get started
on my homework!

- Hey, dudes, can I play
that new song for you?

- I told Bobby I'd call, like,
five minutes ago!

- [burps]

[sighs]

[snores]

- Oh, hey kids!
[all gasp]

What are you doing
in the attic?

- Uh, just playing...

- With a snake...

- That had snake babies.

- Snake babies?

- [snores]
[mumbles]

- Uh, yes!
But fear not,

we know you're not a fan
of serpents...

- So we'll keep them up
in the attic

until they're ready
to be released into the wild...

- In approximately,
uh, six days.

- Okay, just as long as I don't
have to see them.

[all sigh]

- She bought it!

As long as we keep Flip quiet,

Mom and Dad will never
find out about the accident.

- Oh, so that's their game!

[all gasp]

[chuckling]

Ah, boy, this Ace Savvy's
something else!

Whoo, what a hoot!

- What are you doing
in my room?

- That attic setup was hard
on Flip's back.

Ol' spine just hasn't felt
right since the accident.

You know, the one you don't
want your Mom and Dad

to find out about?

[all gasp]

- Lincoln, Flip gets your room.

- What?

- Flip, we'll do
everything we can

to keep you comfortable.

But you have to be reasonable.
- Sure.

Flip's a simple man
who don't need much.

Ah, all my Michigan favorites--

corned beef egg rolls,
Coney Island dogs and ponchkis.

Wait, didn't I ask
for a papaya juice?

Freshly squeezed?

both: Heh...

- Hey, Spooky, my big toe's
been itching something fierce.

How about a little scratch?

- Uh, Fangs?
You want to take this?

- [squeals]

[screen clicking]

- Eh, I don't know how to use
these mini TVs!

How about some
live entertainment?

- Great, I'll grab my guitar.

- Wait, hold up, hippy,

I had a little time
to workshop some skits

during the last bedding change.

[jazzy music]

- Hope everyone saved room
for dessert.

Whoa!

Oopsie doopsie!

- [laughs]
Gold!

[chuckles]
Now let's do the next scene.

[all grumble]

- Oh!

- [grunts]

[screams]
- [sneezes]

[all gasp]

- You can't be
down here, dude!

- A little
late-night TV shopping

keeps the mind off the pain.

- We're all going
to get busted.

- That sounds like
a you problem.

- [yawns]
What's all the racket?

Everyone's supposed
to be in bed.

- Oh, hi, Daddy!
We just...

- Didn't want to miss
the chance

to get a deal on a new
BBQ brush!

[clinking sounds]

- What was that
in the kitchen?

- Uh, maybe it's Lily?

- She better keep
her cute little paws

off my leftover ribs.

- Ahh.

- [yells]
- [grunts]

- Oh, ribs are still safe.
Here you go!

- Ah, actually, I better not.

Told your mom I'd cut down
on the ol' midnight snacks.

- All clear!

- [whistling]

[growls]

Hey, who's hogging
the bathroom?

I have to get to work.

- Um, I think it's Lynn.

- Yup, definitely Lynn.

- Lynn!

Uh, we thought you were
in the bathroom.

- Oh, um, no,
I saw Luan go in there.

- Go in where?

I mean, uh, I think the, uh,
twins are taking a bath!

- Ew, bath?
I never take baths--

I mean, uh, Leni's in there!

- Oh, hey, you guys!

- [growls]

- What are you waving about?

- Hey, if you kids don't tell
me who's in that bathroom,

I am going to--

- Hey, you better tell your mom

she's all out of that
fancy body lotion.

- Flip?
- Flip?

Is that my lotion?

- Is that my robe?

W-What's going on here?

[all laugh nervously]

- We had an accident with
Vanzilla and Flip got hurt.

- And since it was our fault,

we've all been
taking care of him.

- But we knew if you found out,

we'd lose our driving
privileges.

So we had to hide him
in the attic.

- Getting into another accident
is one thing,

but lying to us
is a whole other level!

- Your driving privileges
are suspended indefinitely!

[together] We're sorry.

- Eh, go easy on the kids.

They took good care of me.

Don't let this
gruff exterior fool you.

On the inside,
Flip's just a delicate flower

that needs tending to.

- Well, I guess "indefinitely"
was a little harsh.

Let's say no driving
for the rest of the month.

- And when you
get the van back,

come by the Food and Fuel
for free Flippees.

[together] Yeah!
- But no refills!

Now who's taking me back
to the doc to lose this cast?

Eh, thanks for the ride!

- This is the new
Cowbell and Sebastian song

I was talking about!

[bright cowbell music playing]

- [yells]

Ow!
Someone help!

- On the bright side,
maybe we'll get free Flippees

at the end of the week.
[chuckles]

- Stick to the
dang script, Lynn!

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
all: ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

all: ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house
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