04x34 & 04x35 - A Star is Scorned/Senior Moment

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Loud House". Aired: May 2, 2016 - present.*
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
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04x34 & 04x35 - A Star is Scorned/Senior Moment

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[pleasant music]

♪ ♪

- Hmm.

- Ah, Lily, no touchy.

Lola's trying to get ready
for her photo sh**t today.

- Aww.

- Sorry, Lols.

No one else could babysit,

so I had to bring her along
this time.

- No problem.

I can prep for these gigs
in my sleep.

This is my fourth local ad
this month.

Today, I'm going with
an understated look,

but still hinting at glamour
with these luxurious lashes.

[gasps]
They're gone!

- [laughs]

- [laughs]
Very funny, Lily.

But Lola needs those.

And her lipstick.

- [sighs]

- And her perfume.

- [groans]

Hmph.

- All righty, Lola.

This ad's for Dr. Feinstein's
dental practice,

so give us your biggest smile.

Now let's get the before sh*t.

And the after.

[glamorous pop music]

Brilliant!
You're a natural, kid.

♪ ♪

- [gasps]
- Great!

Hold that pose.

- [gasps]

[grunting]

Lola!
Lola!

- Sorry.
This is my baby sister.

- [laughs]

- [gasps]

Do not move!

This is the cutest thing
I've ever seen.

- [laughs]

- Do you girls ever work
as a team?

I have got
some big-time projects

I could use you both for.

- Actually, I'm kind of
a solo performer.

Hold on.

Did you say
"big-time projects"?

Now remember, Lily, I've got
lots of commercial experience,

so just hang back and follow
your big sister's lead, okay?

- [farts]

- I'll take that as a yes.

- [grunts]
Lola?

Could you grab something
please?

- Of course!

Come on, Lily.
Time to sparkle.

- Sparkle.

[gasps]

[breathing heavily]

- Play it cool.
Don't look so impressed.

- Mm, Mm-hmm.

- Here they are.
My little stars!

Okay, let's get you girls
into makeup.

- [gasping]

- Ah, you must be
their personal assistant.

- No.
I'm actually their sister.

- Whatever.

We're a little crunched
for time, sweetie,

so can you run these back
to the dressing room?

- [grunting]
- Oh, and this too.

All right.

This commercial's
for Gus' Games and Grub.

Do you know your lines?

- [laughs]

Does excellent cut quality
raise a diamond's value?

[clears throat]
Yes.

The answer to both is yes.

- Okay.
Let's go for a take.

And action!

[upbeat music]

- [grunts][laughs]
Oh, dang it.

That was my last token!
[sighs]

I'm having such a neat time
here at Gus' Games and Grub.

I wish the fun would never end!

[gasps]

- [laughs]
- [gasps]

Why, it's the Teenie Genie

here to grant my wish
for more tokens.

[grunts]
[laughs nervously]

Now for a limited time
at Gus' Games and--

- [cheering and laughing]

- Get free tokens
with the purchase of--

[grunts]
Cut!

Sorry, everyone.
Take five.

- [laughs]

- Okay, real funny stuff,sweetie,

but a director
doesn't wanna see you

"doing your own thing"
like that.

It's all about being cute
and professional, mm-kay?

- So about Lily...

- I know.
I was just telling her--

- I loved seeing her
do her own thing!

- What now?

- As a matter of fact,

I am thinking
we trim some of your lines

so we get to the Teenie Genie
even faster.

- Oh.

Such a wonderful idea.

[laughs forcefully]

- All right, this ad's
for the family spa package,

so put on some mud masks and...

just have fun with it.

- See, Lily?
Like this.

With poise and grace.

- Ha!
- No, no!

- [laughs]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[mud squishing]

- The sh*t's a little crowded.

Let's try something new.

Lola, how about you move back?

[squishes]
More.

Little more.

Perfect!

- [growls]

- Wow.
You guys look amazing.

- How can you tell?
You can't even see me.

- Places, everyone,
for the Burpin' Burger spot.

- So I came up
with some backstory

for my character.

How about I'm a rich debutante

who should be dining on caviar,

but secretly, I'd much rather
have a Double Belcher.

- We've cut your part.

We're gonna have Lily star
in this one.

- [laughs]

[dramatic musical flourish]
- What?

I can't believe
my very own baby sister

is trying to steal my place
in the spotlight!

Look at this ad!
[bear squeaks]

I know, Mr. Sprinkles.

I am just as horrified
as you are.

[knocks]
- Hey, Lols.

Can I get my magazine back?

I wanna read it on the--
- [screams]

- Bus to work.

- [screams]

Sorry, Leni.
It's not you.

I'm just so frustrated
right now.

- Aww.
Let's talk after I get home.

Everybody has to be
at the store early

to help set up

for the Reiningers' Cutest Kid
auditions.

- "Cutest Kid?"

Tell me everything!

- The winner gets to be
the face

of the children's clothing
department.

- Mwah!

Leni, forget the bus.

I am driving you to work
in my princess jeep.

- Really?
Yay!

I'll grab my helmet.
- [laughs evilly]

This is my chance
to prove I'm still the star.

Of course you can come
watch me audition,

but we won't tell Lily.

Shh.

[upbeat pop music]
- Huh?

- [grunting]

[humming]

[grunting]

Sparkle.

- I think we both agree.

Miss Loud,
you're one of our finalists.

Congratulations!

We'll see you tomorrow
at the callback.

- [squeals]

I did it, Mr. Sprinkles!

Now I'll be Reiningers'
Cutest Kid

and everyone will forget
all about...

Lily?

Lori?

What are you doing here?

Shopping for ribbon wands
like me?

Because I totally didn't just
audition for anything at all.

[laughs forcefully]

- Oh, Lily just did.

To be Reiningers' Cutest Kid.
- [giggles]

- The store called
and personally requested her.

- Personally... requested?

- Absolutely.

Word spread all over town
about how cute she is.

That's why
she's our other finalist!

- A finalist?
[dramatic musical flourish]

[grunts]

- [cooing]
- Ugh, look at her.

Plotting her next move
to take me down.

If she wins
the Cutest Kid competition,

I am finished
in this business!

I have to b*at Lily, but how?

Everything she does
is adorable.

[sniffs]
[gags]

- [gasps]

- [laughs]

- Well, not everything.

Hey, Lori,

can I borrow your phone
when we get home?

I wanna record--
um, my audition.

To, you know, practice.

[laughs evilly]

- [screaming]

[grunting]

[phone beeping]

[laughing]
[dog barking]

[babbling manically]

[laughs]

[screaming]

[phone beeping]

- That's right, Lily.

Show us your worst.

[laughs evilly]

[car beeps]

- Lols, can you watch Lily?

I'll let the judges know
the two finalists are here.

- Oh, let me do it.

You just stay
and help Lily get ready.

[laughs]

Be right back.

- [muttering indistinctly]
Huh?

- Hello, Mrs. Carmichael.

I wanted to let you know

that Lily and I are here
for our callbacks.

Oopsie!

Almost forgot.

Before my sister auditions,

you should watch the video
on this thumb drive.

You may find it--
hmm, how should I say this?

Not so cute.

Well, bye!

Good luck, Lily.

May the cutest sister win.[laughs]
[hums]

Not now, Lily.
I'm touching up my blush.

Wait, what is this?

- Lily, Lola,

love!

- This is us?

[heartfelt music]

Wait, you were never
actually competing with me.

- [laughs]

- You just wanted
to have fun together,

didn't you?

- [babbling happily]

- [gasps]

I need to get
that thumb drive back.

- I beg your pardon?

Uh--
[laughs nervously]

I almost made
a really dumb mistake,

so if you could just
kindly return that.

- I'm afraid not.

It's our job
to choose the right child

to be the face of Reiningers,

so we have to consider
everything,

including the contents
of this drive.

- Gimme!
- Now Lola, I'm warning you.

- [growls]
- Oh!

- [screams]

- [yelping]

[brakes squeal]
[yelps]

- [screaming]
- [screams]

[impacts]

Lola Loud!

You are disqualified!

- I can live with that.

- Congratulations, Lily.

You're officially
Reiningers' Cutest Kid.

[applause]
- [laughs]

[refined music]

- So, Lols, you bummed about
the whole Cutest Kid thing?

- Nope.
Cutest sister won.

Besides, it's what got me
today's gig.

The director heard about me
tackling Ms. Carmichael

and said she had a part
I'd be perfect for.

- Commercial
for the Karate Corner.

Take one.

[intense rock music]
- [screaming and grunting]

- Cut!
That's a wrap, people.

Great work, Lola.

- Aww, thank you!

Whew, that took a lot
out of me.

I could really go for
a chill juice box

right about now.

- Still not your assistant.

[upbeat pop music]

♪ ♪

- Thanks for giving me a ride
to the movies, Mom.

- Of course.

I love that you
and your friends

have such a fun
Friday tradition.

What are you seeing tonight?

- It's called
"Senior Year in Gear."

Everyone's saying

it's literally
the best teen movie ever.

It got lumps
on Dank Potatoes.

- Oh!

I'll assume
that's a good thing.

[tires squeal]

Say hi to Carol and Rogerfor me.
Fingers crossed

that they're not out
of Choco Crispies this time.

- Oh, we couldn't risk that
happening again.

[both laugh]

- Lori!
Over here!

- Hey, my favorite customers!

One large popcorn,
one jumbo sparkling water,

and--oh, sorry.

We're still out
of Choco Crispies.

[both gasp]
- Psst.

[both gasp]

[upbeat music]
[cheering]

[both laugh]

[indistinct whispering]

[laughter]

- Now the school rock
has been claimed

by the cheerleading squad.

Best senior year ever!

[laughter]

- This senior prank
is going to be, like, so epic.

all: Gelatin, gelatin!

- Look out, guys!
I'm crazy!

Whoa!

both: Best senior year ever!

[laughter]

- Stargazing
on the football field?

Such a high school
rite of passage!

- Best senior year ever.

- Powerful.

[laughter]

- What a perfect end
to senior year.

- Yeah.

Someday, we'll be super old,

but we'll always remember
this night.

all: Seniors!

- That was amazing.
[sniffs]

I have chills.
- Right?

I thought that documentary
about sea snails was great,

but this, like, blew my mind!

- Whoa, what's wrong, Lori?

Are you mad I finished off
the popcorn?

'Cause you said you were done.

- It's not about the popcorn.

It's about the movie.

It's just--we haven't done
any of the high school stuff

the characters did.

- What are you talking about,
Lori?

- Those are literally
rites of passage.

We have to do them
before we graduate.

And senior year is almost over.
Come on.

One day, we're going to look
back at high school

and regret all the stuff
we missed out on.

- Gosh, you're right.
We don't want that.

- Well, I'm down
to start making

some senior year memories.

- I knew
I could count on you guys.

all: Seniors!

- Yay!
[laughs]

Time to claim the school acorn
for the golf team.

[paint squishing]

Best senior year ever!

Selfie time.

- [laughs]

[all shriek]
- What the heck?

- Swim team!

We claim the school acorn
for the swim team.

- Seriously, guys?
We just finished.

- Anyone can paint the acorn
anytime they want.

- Oh.
Well, in that case.

[all gasp]

- Why, you--

[all grunting]

- [gasps]
Golf team!

- Swim team!

- Maybe we should just leave.
- No way!

We need a selfie
with the acorn.

- [grunts]

- [yelps]
This is my best polo!

Truce!
- [grunts]

- [gasps]

- Okay, now it's a truce.

- Yeah.
You guys are loony.

- Come on, guys.
Look.

I can still make out
a golf club.

Seniors!

Okay, now for the captions.

"Hot mess, yes!

"Paintsplosion!

Best senior year ever!"

And post!

You got the goods?

- Sure do!
Brought my four finest.

[pig snorts]
- Perfect!

Now we just have to put
the jerseys

on these little guys

and set them loose
in the school.

- Wait, you're missing
a number four jersey.

- That's the prank!

There is no number four.

So the school will find
pigs one, two, three, and five

but will go crazy looking
for the missing pig.

- Lori, you're a genius.
- That is so funny.

- Here, piggy, piggy, piggy.

[pig squeals]
- Oh, sorry about that.

They got their weakly greasing
this morn.

- [laughs]
No problem.

I've totally got this.

[pigs squealing]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

They need their numbers
or the prank doesn't work!

Get 'em!

[all shouting and grunting]

- Got one.

- [laughs nervously]
This is fine.

We can salvage this.

Liam, can you hold the pig up?

- Yes, I can.

- Seniors!
[pig snorts]

And captions.

"Piggy prank!

Best senior year ever!"

[pig snorts]
And post.

- [groans]
This is my second best polo.

[upbeat music]

- [sighs]

Stargazing
on the football field.

Best senior year ever!

- Lori, there are, like,
a ton of bugs out here.

- It's fine, Carol.
Just lie down.

This is so magical,
right, guys?

- Mm-hmm.
[both grunting]

- [sighs]
Magical.

[sprinklers squirting]

[all scream]

- My third best polo!

[all breathing heavily]

Can't salvage this one.

- Towels!
- [shrieks]

- Come on, guys!Seniors!
[both groan]

I think it's time
for a little midnight snack.

Kale Puffs?

- Kale!
- Oh, okay, nice!

- Okay, now smile big.

Seniors!
[wings flapping]

[goose shrieks]

Ditch the puffs!

[geese honking]

"Midnight goose run.

"Football field antics.

Best senior year ever!"

And post!
[both panting]

[bell rings]

Morning, guys.

Man, we did such a great job

making senior year memories
yesterday.

- Yeah, totally.

So can we be done with this
now?

- What?No way!
I just scored us an invite

to Tad's lake house partytonight!

- But we're going mini-golfing
tonight, remember?

- Guys,
we can mini-golf anytime

for the rest of our lives.

A lake party
is the most important

rite of passage of all!

We have to go!

- I'm running out of polos,
but okay.

- [squeals]
This is going to be so great!

♪ ♪

Whoo-hoo!

Seniors in the house!

Hi, everybody.

Hey, guys.
Hey.

Ooh!
I love this song.

I should totally
challenge someone

to a dance-off.

Maybe...

Ooh!
That guy.

[all cheering]

♪ ♪

Dance challenge, bro!

Carol, can I get a video post?

[grunting and laughing]

[yelps]

- Do you want me to post this?

- No.[laughs]
You can delete that.

- Okay, Lori.
Truth or dare?

- [gasps]
Dare.

- I dare you

to cut off a chunk
of your hair.

- [laughs nervously]

"Haircut hijinks.

Best senior year ever!"

crowd: Peppers, peppers!

- Bottoms up, guys.

Seniors!

both: Seniors.

[crunches]

- [screams]

- [groans]
- "Pepper problems.

Best senior year ever!"

[all cheering]

Dunk time!

Come on, guys.
We have to jump in.

Such a classic senior moment.

Last one in is a bogey butt!

- Lori, don't!
The lake is so cold.

- You'll freeze your butt off.
Come on.

All these senior moments
are getting to be too much.

- Too much?
I don't get it.

I thought you guys
were having a good time.

- [sighs]
I'm sorry, Lori.

We really tried,
but this stuff just isn't us.

- Yeah, I wanna leave.
This is my last polo.

- You coming, Lori?

- No.

I'll get a ride
from my mom later.

You guys might be okay
with giving up

on the best senior year ever,
but I'm not.

- Well, you know where we'll be
if you change your mind.

[heartfelt music]

- [sighs]

Seniors!

[splashes]

[gasps]

My g-g-g-g-gosh.
[gasping]

"Lake party.

"Making a splash.

Best senior year ever."

[shivers]
[chomp]

[screams]

- That was so much fun!
[people chatting]

- So fun!

- [sighs]

- Looks like someone could use
a little song.

♪ Well, I'm-- ♪

- Not the time, Tad!

[line rings]
Hi. Mom?

I blew it.

I did high school
totally wrong.

There's all these
rites of passage I hadn't done,

so I tried to cram them in
at the last minute,

but they went terribly wrong.

Now I'm gonna look back
on high school

and have all these regrets.

- Oh, don't worry about it,
hon.

You won't.

- [sighs]
How do you know?

- Well, I didn't do any

of the big high school
rites of passage either,

but my friends and I,
we still had a blast.

Everyone's high school
experience is different.

There's no one right way
to do it.

- [sniffles]Yeah.

I guess my friends and I
have had a lot of fun together.

[sighs]

Oh, Mom.

- Oh, sweetie.

Did you do something
with your hair?

- Long story.

♪ ♪

[tires squeal]

Psst.

- Hey, Lori.
Surprised to see you here.

- Guys, I owe you an apology.

I'm sorry I made us do
all that ridiculous,

stereotypical high school
stuff.

- It was kind of fun at first,
but then--

- I know.
I took it too far.

I just got obsessed
with this idea

of the stuff I had to do
before high school was over.

But I realize now

that those things
aren't what matter.

It's you guys

and doing stuff like this.

both: We couldn't agree more!

all: Seniors!

- Come on.
Grab a club.

- O-M-gosh!
Three holes in one!

- [cheers]
Now that's worth posting.

[laughter]

- [laughs]
"Golfing greats.

"BFFs.

Best senior year ever."

[goose shrieks]
My phone!

[phone dings]
- It's okay!

It posted.

- Seniors!

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
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