04x38 & 04x39 - How Double Dare You!/Snoop's On

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

♪ ♪

[overlapping chatter]
- Whoo-hoo!

Come on, Lis.
Put that stuff down

and watch "Double Dare"
with us.

- Are you kidding?
I'm about to

split an atom here.

- Okay,
here's your first question.

Which element
on the periodic table

is represented
by the number one?

Is it hydrogen,
helium, or first-dium?

- Hydrogen, duh.

Who in their right mind
would guess first-dium?

- No talking
if you're not watching.

- Hey, hold on, slime lovers.

"Double Dare"
is hitting the road,

and we're coming to your town.

So get ready,
Royal Woods, Michigan!

- Why?
- Hot dog!

- Guys, we have to go
on the show.

This is our chance
to get slimed!

- I'll slime ya.
- But there are only

two players on each team.

Who do we pick?
- One of them has to be Lisa.

She always knows
the smart junk.

- Pick it!
Come on, pick it!

Oh!
There you go.

- I have no interest
in such childish buffoonery.

- Hey, did I mention
we have some great new prizes?

Flash sneakers,
deluxe vanity stations, and...

both: A Galactic Labs
Space Capsule.

[expl*si*n booms]

- I've changed my position.
[coughs]

We must compete on the show!
[all cheer]

- Well, the other spot
should go to me.

I look the best on television.

- Spot should go to me!
I squat .

- It should go to me!
I'm a rock star!

all: How 'bout me?
- Uh, uh, uh.

If we're gonna win this thing,

I'll need to pick the teammate
with the best overall stats

relevant to "Double Dare."

Hmm.
Time to devise some tests.

[all grunting]

- Stop squatting me!
- Okay, okay, people!

Now thank you for
participating in this exercise.

I've taken it upon myself
to build a robot

to help me assess
your "Double Dare" potential.

I give you Dare-bot.

[Dare-bot beeping]

Now first,
we'll test your ability

to keep calm under pressure
with an exercise

I call "Think or Swim."

Okay, participants,
now I'm going to ask a series

of simple rapid-fire questions.

If you stumble
or answer incorrectly,

it's into the dunk t*nk
and out of the running.

- Cannon ball!
[water splashes]

Bah!
Did I win?

That splash was dope!

- [imitates negative buzzer]
Disqualified.

Ability to follow instructions
is paramount.

Okay, first question.

Luna, what's father's
middle initial?

- Uh, um...
- [imitates negative buzzer]

Too slow.
[device beeps]

- [screams]
- Lincoln, same question.

- Uh, L.
- Correct.

Lucy, what is the th letter
of the alphabet?

- A, B, C, D--
- Too late.

- [groans]
- Lori, Roman numeral for .

- Uh, um...
[screams]

- Lily, mass of Jupiter.
- [gurgles, screams]

- Lola.
- I'm bored.

[water splashes]

- Jeez.
Tsk, tsk.

Only four left.

Dare-bot,
you know what this means.

- Yes, I'll dispose
of the losers.

[Dare-bot whirring]
- No! No, no, no!

I meant, these four
will move on to the next round!

[inhales sharply]Criminy.

We are now going to test
an ability

crucial to "Double Dare"
victory:

spotting hidden flags.

- Yeah, this coming from
the gal who wears glasses.

How "eye-ronic."

- Insulting the team captain,
instant disqualification.

Dare-bot.
[Dare-bot whirring]

- It wasn't me!
It was Mr. Coconuts!

No fair!

- All right, participants.

Now, I've buried a flag
somewhere inside the couch.

You have seconds to find it.
And go!

- Out of my way!
I'm gonna find it.

Found it!

- Lincoln,
that's an old pizza slice.

- [chomps]
Mmm, pepperoni and sock lint.

- Another disqualification,

for pure revulsion.

- Worth it.
[belches]

- Keep looking, people!

- Uh, hmm, uh, hmm...
- It's somewhere here.

I mean--ugh!
- Uh...

- [groans]
Geo for the win.

Let's move on.

Okay, participants.

As you know,
physical challenges require

speed and agility.

So for the last test,
it's simple.

Whoever can catch Charles wins.
- That's gonna be easy.

- Not if he's covered in
nonstick vegetable shortening.

Laser, please.
- Commencing puppy playtime.

[barks, panting]

- [panting] Ah, ah!
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Get him!
- Hmm.

[both whimpering, shriek]

- Ooh, ooh!
How'd we do?

- I need to assess your scores.

[grunting]
Oof.

And my bruises.

Ugh, who am I gonna pick?
These rubes are hopeless.

They probably don't even know
who discovered radium.

- Marie Curie,
born in Warsaw, Poland.

Your dog is dry.
[Charles growls]

- By Tesla's coils,
I've got an idea!

Thank you all for trying out,
and after reviewing the data,

I've decided the most agile,
quick-thinking, personable,

qualified teammate
is...Dare-bot!

all: What?
- Why?

- Yeah, none of you mere humans
hold a candle to

Dare-bot's knowledge
and physical skills,

and I wanna win that spaceship.

- Winners high five.
- Get scrapped, dumb-bot!

Ahh!

- Anybody else have
something to say?

all: Nope.

- Take your places, please.
Contestants, take your places.

- Oh, thank goodness
for stepladders.

Well, this is a surprise.

I didn't expect
you'd still wanna cheer me on

under the circumstances.

- Cheer you on?
Ha!

We're here to b*at you.

- And they're here
to cheer us on.

[all cheer]

- [scoffs]
You both performed passably

in tryouts, but quite frankly,
you don't stand a chance

against myself and Dare-bot.

- Agreed.
Your human brains are a joke.

- Oh, yeah?
Well you would look terrible

in a crop top.

- Gasp.
That stings.

- On your mark, get set...go!

Today on "Double Dare,"
it's Louds versus Louds.

Now remember, teams,
whoever hooks more antlers

wins control of the round.

Blue team's not looking
too good.

- Ow! Ah!
- It's not that easy.

Red team's playing it real cool

and--oh!

Ring-a-ding-ding!

Red team wins control
of round one.

- We got this!
Go, Dare-bot!

Go, Dare-bot!
- Oh, yeah!

Get used to seeing this.

- Okay, we're back.

Antlers are off
and thinking caps on.

Red team, here we go.

Which of these is not
part of an atom:

protons, neutrons,
or jumbo-trons?

- Jumbo-trons, obviously.

And may I say
your attempts at humor

are quite juvenile?

- Hey, I only ask
the questions, man.

I don't write 'em.
Okay, next question.

Which of these sports
is not played with cleats:

baseball, soccer, or croquet?

- Ugh, sports,
my Achilles' heel.

Good thing I have you,
Dare-bot.

- You neglected to program me
with sports trivia

in favor of sarcasm
and sauciness.

I suggest we dare.

- [groans]
Dare.

- Oh, dare it is.
Blue team?

- A shoe question?

I know the answer.
I know the answer!

- Wait, they don't know
the answer.

Let's double dare them
and put them on the spot.

both: Double dare!

- Ooh, the suspense!

Red team,
will you take the question

or the physical challenge?

- It appears
my hand's been forced.

We'll take
the physical challenge.

- Okay, it's a physical
challenge for Red team.

In the Hammerhead's challenge,
contests must use their noggins

to break a dozen eggs.
Sound simple?

Well, not with
a vibrating table!

- [scoffs]
Disposing of a few eggs

should be no problem
for Dare-bot.

- On your mark, get set, go!

- No egg is safe from Dare-bot.

Dare-bot smash.
- Ah! We got this.

[grunts]

Ah!
Dare-bot, what's happening?

I programmed you
better than this.

- You opted for wit
over waterproofing,

and that's no "yolk."

- Well,
I better rewire your--ah!

- Aww, looks like you're
a few eggs short of an omelet,

which means the points
go to the Blue team!

- [growls]

- After one heck of a round,
Blue team's behind

by points, but they do have
control of the game.

Let's see if they can catch up.

Blue team,
what famous export originated

from the town of Nîmes, France?

- Oh, that's easy.

It's denim, which derives from

the French, "sergé de Nîmes."

- Whoa!
You got it.

[both gasp]
Blue team gets the points.

- A geographical question

with an international economic
twist.

I didn't know
she had it in her.

- And the game is tied!

And you know what that means?

It all comes down
to the obstacle course!

And we're back.

The first team to complete

the obstacle course
with the most flags

is our winner and gets to pick

from our incredible
grand prizes!

Teams, on your mark,
get set, go!

[all clamoring]
[exciting music]

- [grunts]

- Based on
statistical probability of

past episodes,
the flag is most likely

under the--under the--
- Come on! Under the what?

- The second pancake.
- [grunts]

It's not here, Dare-bot.

- Does not compute pancakes.

Marie Curie.
Poland! Poland! Poland!

- Got it!
- Blue team is on the move!

- Look alive, Dare-bot.

[Dare-bot whirring]

- I can't find the flag!
- Pick it! Whoo!

- Dare-bot, come on!
This a-way.

- Come on, guys, get the flag.
Get that flag!

[all cheering]
- Flag! Flag! Flag! Flag!

- Success.
- Thatta boy, Dare-bot.

Victory is still
within our grasp.

- Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Red team is in the lead,
and they lost it.

Next up is a scenic ride
through Lake Gelatin.

Oh, you missed it
by that much, Red team!

- Well, there's more
than one way

to cross a lake o' gelatin.
[grunting]

Come on, baby!

- That is some
inventive thinking!

- I was not built for this.
- Red team is catching up.

- The flag. I got it!
- There's the flag.

I got it!
[both grunt]

- The teams are still tied!

Whoever reaches the flag
on top of

Mount St. Double Dare first
wins!

- Wha--whoa!
- Be careful. Watch your step.

[both grunting]

- [shrieks]

- Ahh!

- I love this game.

- [grunting]

[screams excitedly]

all: Leni! Leni! Leni!

[cheers and applause]

- [groans]

Siblings, congrats on your win.

I realize now
that I underestimated

your abilities.

I'm sorry.
- No worries.

We know you really wanted
that space capsule.

- Yeah, but I should have stuck
by my family.

[all swoon]

- You know,
I hate to break this up,

but Lincoln and Leni,
it's time to pick out

your prize from
our incredible list

of flashy new prizes.

- No need, Marv,
I know what we should pick.

[beeping]
- Gads.

Don't tell me you two
have a budding interest

in rocket science.

- No, silly, it's for you.

- But I was so--
- It's okay.

I just wanted to meet
Marc Summers.

- And I'm using the show
to improve my brand

as a preteen influencer.

- [laughs]
Aww.

You guys are the best.

[upbeat music]
- Yeah!

[laughs]
Mmm.

[mysterious music]

♪ ♪

[beeping]

- Ah.
- Sorry, Lincoln.

- Come on.
- Sorry, Lincoln.

- Um, can I help you, Leni?

- I'm supposed to read
a novel for English,

but Lily's using them all
to build a fort.

- [giggling]

- Ooh, found one!
Also, a green bagel.

- I'll be taking that.
[chomps]

- Cool.

The main character's
named Luna,

and she's got a sister
named Luan

and a brother named Lincoln.

- Wait, what?
Let me see that.

[gasps]
This isn't a book.

It's a diary--Luna's diary.
You can't read this.

- O-M-gosh, of course not.

I'd never inv*de her privacy
like that.

Though, I do kind of wonder
what big secret

she was referring to.

- Big secret?
- Mm-hmm.

"But I know I can never tell
my fam my big secret that I--"

- ♪ Back from band practice,
where'd I put my key? ♪

[both gasp]
- Ah. Ah! Uh.

Scatter.
- [panting]

- [grunts, shrieks]

[grunts]
- [humming]

[suspenseful music]

- Phew.
That was close.

- I know.

Can you imagine how upset
Luna would be

if she knew we read her diary?

- Well, technically,
you're the one who found it.

- Hey!
- Okay, okay.

So we both read it,
but that was an accident,

and as long as we don't read
any more of it, we're good.

- No matter what big secret

she's keeping from
the whole family.

- Right.

- Uh...

- Gonna go jam with Sam.
Be home soon!

- Hey, guys, I'm just gathering
clothes for the wash.

Got anything?
[grunting]

- [gasps]
Okay, we're in.

Let's find that diary.

- Freeze, ya bozos!
[both yell]

What are you guys
doing in here?

- Um, uh, collecting laundry.
- Laundry day was Tuesday.

Spill it!
- Okay, fine!

We were looking for
Luna's diary.

She wrote about a big secret,

and we have to find out
what it is.

- Guys, that is so wrong.
- [groans]

- I can't even joke about it.
Oh, come on, toots.

Drop the saint routine.

I know you're itching
to find out

what dear old sis is hiding.

It's gotta be juicy if she's
yakking about it in a diary.

- Hmm.
Okay, fine.

I'll help you guys look.

I know all the good
hiding places.

Lincoln, try that desk drawer.
- [grunts]

Luan!
- [laughs]

Sorry.
I couldn't resist.

[curious music]

♪ ♪

- Eee!
I think I found it.

Okay, okay.
Let me see where I left off.

"But I know I can never tell
my fam my big secret that

"I skipped school last Friday

to see a slasher flick
at the mall."

[all gasp]

- Precalc's been
a major snooze...

- You got an ID?
[snores]

- So Roxy had the great idea
to ditch.

Breaking the rules
was such a rush!

[laughs]
- I can't believe this.

Luna's been skipping school?

- And who's this Roxy girl?

She sounds like
a bad influence.

We should go talk to Luna
right now.

[all grunt]
- We can't do that.

Then she'll know that
we've been reading her diary.

- Which, as we've agreed,
is wrong,

but I guess what Luna's doing
isn't the end of the world.

So let's put the diary back

and pretend this
never happened.

- Right.
- Boo, you're no fun.

[all grunt]
- Hey.

Heard you're doing laundry.
Thanks.

[flies buzzing]
Might wanna run these twice.

[beeping]

- [moaning]
[scratching]

[whistles]

[scratching]
[grunts]

- Um, everything okay, Luna?

- Ah.
Yeah.

Uh, must have gotten bit
by a, uh, bug or something.

[Charles barks]
- Don't look at us.

We just got our flea baths.

[peculiar music]

[door closes]
- Hmm.

♪ ♪

[grunts]

- "Dear, diary, dude,
I finally did it.

I got a tattoo!"

[rock music]

[both laugh]

- [gasps]

[owl hoots]
[insects chirp]

- [snoring]
[window creaks]

Huh?

Ooh!
Oh.

- [groaning]

[mischievous music]

"Tonight was k*ller.

"Instead of studying
for finals,

I snuck out to this
underground club with Roxy!"

Bring it, dudes!

[both grunt, cheer]

- [gasps]
Oh.

- Pfft.

Look at her, clearly putting on

the goody-two-shoes act
to throw off Mom and Dad.

- I don't know.
Maybe she's turning over

a new leaf.
- Guys!

Luna's turning into a monster!

Look at her latest diary entry.

- It's a little blurry.
- I only had five seconds.

Luna and Roxy are planning

a night of mayhem
in Royal Woods.

- First, we fill
the town fountain

with nacho choose,
then we free all the goats

from the petting zoo,
start some fights

at the biker hangout,
then swipe the big letter R

from the sign on town hall,
baby.

- Trespassing?
- Stealing?

Vandalizing a town landmark?
Scandalous!

- This night could ruin
Luna's whole future.

We have to tell Mom and Dad!

- But Luna's gonna hate us
for snitching

and for reading her diary.

- Hmm.
You both make good points.

Maybe there's a way
to stop Luna

without all of that messiness.

[insects chirping]

Okay, so we know
Luna's exact itinerary

for tonight's "mayhem."

If we can stay one step
ahead of her and Roxy,

we can thwart
all of their plans

without Luna ever finding out
we're onto her.

- Awesome!
- Sweet.

Hey, how am I supposed to
relieve myself in this thing?

There's no zipper.

- I still don't know why Mr. C
was crucial to the mission,

but come on.

Flip, my good man.

I'd like to buy
your nacho cheese.

All of it.

Pretty smart, huh?

This way,
there's no cheese left

for Luna to pour into
the town fountain.

- Yay!
But, um, what do we

do with it now?

I didn't bring any chips.

- Let's just dump it.
- No.

You never dump good cheese.

[sneaky music]

- [screams]Oh, yum.

That's delish!
You don't even need chips.

- Okay,
same idea with the goats.

If there aren't any
for Luna to set loose,

she can't make trouble.

- I don't think we have
enough bike helmets

to take the goats with us.

- Actually, I was thinking
we'd just relocate them

to that barn.

Okay, little buddies,
let's mosey ov--ahh!

[goats bleating]

- Hey, slow down!

My legs are made of wood!
- Aww, come here, you.

- Get back here!
[grunts]

[rousing music]
[cell phone dials]

Liam!
I need some emergency--

- Goat-herding tips?[laughs]

Sounds like you're in
a heap of trouble.

Just gotta find something tasty
to lure 'em in with.

You got any more questions,
just give me a jingle.

♪ ♪

[hooves thudding]
[slurping]

- Oh!
There you guys are.

- Come on, Leni.
I think I hear Luna.

[grunts]

- Dude,
where are all the goats?

[stealthy music]

- Yes!
Another plan thwarted.

♪ ♪

- Wow, Linc.
How do you know

where the town
biker hangout is?

- "Open for badness"?

Oh, clever yet scary.

[overlapping shouting,
clamoring]

- [yelps]

[rock music]

- This place looks
a little rough.

Do we have to go in?
- Heck no.

I thought we could
keep Luna away

by making it look like
it's closed,

starting with unplugging
that sign.

♪ ♪

- There, all done.

- Hey, you little punks!
all: Huh?

- Nobody touches our sign!

[knuckles cr*ck]
- [spits]

- [sniffing]
Ooh.

Smells like nobody touches
a bar of soap

around here either.

- What did you say, puppet?

- [sniffs]
Ooh.

all: Hmm.

- Those guys insulted
our personal hygiene.

Let's get 'em!

[overlapping shouting]
- Yeah, come on!

Let's get 'em!

- Well, on the upside,
there's no bikers left

for Luna to rumble with.

Quiet, Mr. C.
You are in a time-out.

- Last stop: town hall.

We gotta get there before
Luna can steal the big R.

- Too late!

[suspenseful music]

- Oh, no, the five- !

Let's split before we get
busted for trespassing!

- No, we have to save Luna.

- Oh, but then she'll know
we read her diary!

- We have no choice.

Stop!
- Don't throw your life away!

- Huh?
What are you guys doing here?

all: We read your diary!

- You what?

- We're really sorry
for invading your privacy,

and we totes get it
if you hate us forever,

but we couldn't let you
ruin your life.

- [laughing]
Duh!

I knew you dudes
were snooping in my diary.

That's why I made up
this whole rebellious act.

all: What?
- It all started the other day

after band practice.

[humming]

[curious music]

- Phew.
That was close.

- I know.

Can you imagine how upset
Luna would be

if she knew we read her diary?

- So I erased what
was really in my last entry

and made up the story
about skipping school instead.

- And the tattoo?

- Well, what about sneaking out
to clubs?

- I never snuck out.
I just faked sneaking back in.

I had to make the window creak,
like, six times

till you woke up.

- Well,
what about this Roxy girl?

all: Sam?
- Sorry, guys.

I had to help her out.

- You know I'd never
actually do

any of that bad stuff, right?

I was just trying to get you
to fess up

to reading my diary.

- Sorry we doubted you.

- It's cool, dudes.

I'm sorry for messing with you
to teach you a lesson.

- You really went all out.

This security guard
is so believable,

except he doesn't even look
that scary.

- [growls]

- Oh, now he does.

- Dudes, I didn't hire him!
Run!

- [giggles nervously]

- [grunts]
- [screams]

[exciting music]

- So, Lunes,
what was the big secret?

I gotta know!
A bad grade?

Secret piercing?

You owe money to some
hooligans,

so you're--[chokes]
[yelps]

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪