03x05 - Great Caesar's Ghost

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: The
Adventures of Superman!

Faster than a speeding b*llet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN 1: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

[♪♪♪]

Answer the phone!

[RINGING]

Hello, Kent speaking.

Oh, chief.

What's wrong?

Nothing?

Well, isn't it kind
of late at night

to be calling if
there's nothing wrong?

Late? Of course it isn't late.

Not for me.

Great Caesar's ghost,
when do you think

I'd get my work done,
if I didn't work at night?

But you worked last
night and the night before.

You haven't been
home for two nights.

What business is that of yours?

It's my home, isn't it?

I guess I don't have to
go there unless I want to.

All right, chief. But
why did you phone me?

I don't know.

What?

I mean, I've forgotten.

I...

It was something I've
been worried about, and...

Well, now you've got
me so confused, I...

Chief, you're not worrying
about your testimony

in the Morley case
next week, are you?

Great Caesar's
ghost. Of course not!

Do you think I'm afraid of
a bunch of confidence men

like that Morley g*ng?

Besides, Morley
himself is dead now.

Dead as a doornail. Ha-ha-ha.

Now, chief, listen to me.

Inspector Henderson
is counting heavily

on your testimony in that trial.

In fact, you're
the star witness.

Oh, stop giving me a lecture.

I tell you, I'm not afraid
of the Morley g*ng

or anybody else, but...

Shh!

What?

Be quiet.

I heard a noise.

Well, uh,

somebody's using
the elevator, that's all.

Huh?

How can you tell
that over the phone?

I'm right here, and
I can't tell what it is.

Who do you think
you are, Superman?

Shh!

[WHISPERS] Kent. I'm sorry.

You were right.
It is the elevator.

Someone's coming.

Chief, I'm sure it's
no one to be afraid of.

Hm.

There you are,

sitting there safe and sound.

And here I am in
the office all alone.

But of course, it... [FOOTSTEPS]

Hi.

Who are you?

Cup of coffee you ordered
from the drugstore, Mr. White.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

My coffee.

Y-you see, Kent?
Nothing to worry about.

Not a... Here you are.

[SIGHS]

That's all right, keep...
Keep the change.

Gee, thanks.

Now, let's see. Where were we?

Uh, hold it.

I didn't order coffee.

I mean...

Did I?

Search me.

Boss said you called,
that's all I know.

Two lumps of sugar.

Yeah, two lumps.

That's what I take, but...

[TICKING] What's the matter?

Is your watch ticking?

Huh? A watch?

Huh. I don't even have one. Why?

I can hear it.

I can hear it ticking.

Huh. You're a real
joker, Mr. White.

And thanks.

Here! Come back
here! Who are you?

That bag.

There's something in
that bag, I can here it.

I'm hearing things.

Kent.

Kent, are you still there?

Kent, there's a b*mb
in this paper bag.

I can hear it.

Kent, I need help!

Kent!

Oh.

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

Good evening, Mr. White.

Superman.

Thank heaven.

Aren't you
working a little late?

There. There in that bag.

There's a b*mb in there.

No, no, be careful!

It's just coffee, that's all.

No. Must be something
else, I heard it.

Mr. White,

why don't you try
and get a little rest?

Kent's told me how
upset you've been.

Don't mention Kent's
name to me, please.

Do you know what
he just did to me?

I was talking to him
on the telephone,

and he hung up on me.

Yes, sir, hung up!

Well, he's probably got
some good explanation.

Anyway, I thought I'd better
get over here in a hurry.

Now, tell me, Mr. White,

what's been bothering
you these past few days?

You're not the type of man
to be frightened by thugs.

No, no.

It isn't that, Superman.

Honestly, it isn't.
It's just that...

Well, for the past few
days, I've been hearing...

No.

I can't tell you.

I can't tell anybody.

I don't even know
what it is myself.

PERRY: Don't call me
"chief." JIMMY: I'm sorry, chief...

Sir! I mean, Mr. White.

WHITE: Here. Here.

Now, this is just
what I told you.

I wrote it all
down. Now, read it.

Listen.

Poor Jimmy's getting
bawled out for nothing.

If only we knew what
was wrong with Mr. White.

Mm-hm.

I ran into Jarvis downstairs...

You know that man of his?

He came into town with
a load of laundry for him.

Maybe we could get him
to go home to the country,

try to get a rest. I told
Jarvis to stick around.

Maybe I can talk the
chief into going with him.

They could take the Planet plane

and get there in a few minutes.

The chief could get some sleep...
WHITE: Great Caesar's ghost.

That assignment was
simple enough, wasn't it?

I wonder how many
times a day he says that.

"Great Caesar's ghost."

I don't like it.

Please, Mr. White, listen to me.

The ballplayer you told
me to interview is dead.

Dead?

That's what I've
been trying to tell you.

He's been dead for 30 years.

Only every time I open my mouth,

you act like you're
listening to something else.

Well, Olsen, maybe
I was confused

when I gave you that assignment.

I thought I heard
the voice and, uh...

Well, look who's here.

Hanging up telephones, eh?

Chief, what was it you
just said about a voice?

Huh?

Oh. Never mind. Just skip it.

Skip everything.

Uh, Miss Lane.

You remember that Western
newspaper I told you about?

The one that has a feature page

like yours ought to be?

Yes, I do, chief, but...

Uh, chief, we'd all like to talk

to you about taking a rest...

No. No, I do not need a rest.

I'm not going home to the
country. And is that clear?

I don't want to hear
another word about it.

But you've been working so hard.

What if you had a breakdown?

There, right on top,

you'll find that
newspaper, Miss Lane.

Take it out and look at it.

I marked it myself. It's good.

Chief, if you don't slow down,

you're headed for just
what Miss Lane said.

Ah! The steam heater.

Come here, Mr. Kent.

Now, this is what I
phoned you about last night

when I couldn't remember, Kent.

I thought I asked
you to move this.

From there to there.

When I work at
night, my feet get cold.

Now, why wasn't it moved?

Well, chief, uh, it was Sunday.

And, you know, you can't get
a plumber to work on Sunday.

They've got a real tight union.

Well, it isn't
Sunday today, is it?

Now, I'm going over to
Inspector Henderson's office.

I'll be gone about five minutes.

When I'm back, I want
to see that thing moved.

Wow.

You'll never get a
plumber to move that fast.

All it takes is to just
take those pipes and...

Chief...

are you sure this
is the newspaper

you want me to look at?

That you marked up yourself?

Great Caesar's ghost.
Of course I'm sure!

Don't all of you treat me as
though I were going crazy!

Well, now, is everything clear?

You've all got your assignments.

I'll be back in five minutes.

Clark, look. [EXHALES]

Paper dolls.

Mm-hm.

Oh, we've got to stop him.

Poor Mr. White's
losing his mind.

No, Lois, I think
it would be better

if we just humored him.

You kids gone on back to work.

Both of you, come on.

And I'll try and fix that
steam heater for him.

"Five minutes."

You'll have to get
Superman to help you.

Yes, Jimmy.

[♪♪♪]

My hat.

My hat.

[CREAKING]

[WHISPERS] Oh, no.

First, I hear things.

Now, I...

Oh.

Mr. White!

Chief.

Oh, he's fainted.

No, Jimmy, he's all right.

[SOFTLY] Please...

I'll be all right. Huh.

Oh, uh...

I'm... I'm sorry for the way

I've been acting, but...

But when I...

When I actually think I...

[SIGHS]

Never mind, I...

I'll do anything you say.

Put me on the plane with Jarvis.

I'll go home.

I do need a rest.

I'll get you some coffee, sir.

No, no.

Please leave me alone, Jarvis.

Go up there.
Ride with the pilot.

I just want to be
alone and rest.

Very good, sir.

[DRONING]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

What's the matter with me?

Great Caesar's ghost.

[SIGHS]

MAN'S VOICE: Perry.

I'm calling you, Perry White.

The voice.

The voice.

Who are you?

Where are you?

Hello, Perry White.

You've never been
anyplace except in my home.

That's why I haven't
wanted to go back there.

Perry White.

[SIGHS]

Now... Now you're everywhere.

All around me.

Perry, I'm right here with you.

Where are you?

Who are you?

Answer me.

I'm not afraid.

Who are you?

Where are...?

Come closer.

What? Back there.

Come closer.

Show yourself, you coward.

I'm not afraid of you.

Where are you?

Perry. There.

Perry White. You're out there.

You're not in here, so
you must be out there.

Perry White.

[♪♪♪]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Superman.

What happened?

The pilot said he
felt the plane jolt.

The voice.

I heard the voice.
It... It was calling me.

The voice?

Superman, it isn't
possible for a man

like Mr. White to
imagine things like this.

W-what did he hear?

Well, I don't know.

Must have been someone.

But it couldn't be
you or the pilot.

You're both in there together.

What? Of course not.

But I heard it.

I heard the voice in here.

Superman...

somebody must be doing this.

Uh, they may have dropped
some contraption, uh, into the plane.

Uh, probably a... A
phonograph record.

Just a moment.

I can answer that
with my x-ray vision.

No.

No, I don't see a single
recording instrument,

or anything that could be
used to produce the sound

of a human voice. You...

You can't help me.

Nobody can.

It only speaks to me.

But why me?

Why? And who is it?

[DOOR OPENS]

Yes, sir.

[♪♪♪]

Ahh!

Pills don't work.

Milk doesn't make me sleepy.

How am I ever gonna rest?

How am I going to rest?

[SIGHS]

Great Caesar's ghost.

MAN'S VOICE: Perry.

Perry White.

Oh, no.

Not again.

I can't stand it.

I'm too tired.

I don't care who you
are or where you are, or...

But it's your own
fault, Perry White.

All these years,
you've called me.

Call once more.

What?

One million times.

I can no longer resist you.

Call, Perry White.

What...?

What are you talking about...

"Call one million times"?

Leave me alone.

You won't leave me alone.

Call once more.

Call what?

Great Caesar's...

Yes. I am great Caesar's ghost.

Great Caesar's ghost?

Of course.

Who else would I be?

Caius Julius Caesar.

Master of Rome, of all Europe.

Conqueror of Gaul, of Pompeii.

That voice.

That voice I've
heard... It's been you.

And on the plane too.

But I never could see you.

Well, when a man's
been dead for 2,000 years,

it's not too easy
to materialize.

Takes a little effort, you know.

No, no. It... It
just isn't possible.

With Caesar...

all things are possible.

After all, you've
called me so often.

I say, Perry. What a nice
little garden you have here.

Great Cae... Uh...

I'm sorry, I...

I beg your pardon.

[CHUCKLES]

Quite all right.

Gets to be a habit,
I suppose, heh.

But I've heard you

clearer and clearer

each time you've
mentioned my name.

I've always wondered,

what is it you want
of me, Perry White?

But I don't want you!

Nonsense.

You are my greatest admirer.

Don't be so modest about it.

No, no. Go away, go away.

Well, it is a little cooler
here than it is Italy,

but, uh...

I think I like it.

Go away, go away!

Please go! Go away.

I wouldn't wave my
arms like that if I were you.

I know what it is.

I'm losing my mind.

I'm losing my mind. That's it.

Jarvis.

Jarvis, where are you?!

I need help!

Jarvis!

Jarvis, call a
doctor. Call a doctor.

Uh, Mr...? My,
what is it? What is it?

Out there. Out
there in the garden.

What?

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

He's gone.

Who's gone, sir?

He was right there.

He was there.

It was the gho...

No, I'd... I'd rather not tell.

It's all over...

CAESAR: "Gallia omnia
divisa est in partes tres."

There. Listen.

CAESAR: "All Gaul is
divided into three parts."

He's reciting the opening lines

of Caesar's history
of the Gallic Wars.

Do you mean to say
you can't hear that?

CAESAR: Of course
he can't, Perry.

He's not an old friend
like you and I are.

Send him away so I can reappear.

No, no. I'm getting out of here.

I've had enough!
Now, Mr. Wi... White.

Perry, you can't run away
from a ghost. You know that.

Besides, we've got
so much to talk about.

The Gallic Wars,

that business about
Antony and Cleopatra.

All sorts of things.
Please, Mr. White. Please.

Do you mean to say you
can't hear what he's saying?

What who's saying?

[SIGHS] All I can
hear is a few crickets.

Ah. Great suffering catfish!

I wouldn't summon up any
catfish if I were you, Perry.

Dreadful, squirmy little things.

Don't tell me what to do.

And don't try to be funny!

Oh, please. Please, sir.

Come on, now.

Please. Please try
and control yourself.

[SIGHS]

[EXHALES]

But...

what am I going to do?

Clark, what's your name

doing on the door
instead of Mr. White's?

Lois, I didn't ask for this job.

And, matter of fact,
I don't even want it.

But the chief phoned in to
say he was retiring for good.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Have you talked to Jarvis?

Yes. He said the chief's
not only hearing voices,

now he's even answering them.

Oh, the poor thing.

Wow, look at that.

"Clark Kent, editor."

Well, I always knew
you'd make the grade.

Congratulations,
chief... Now, just relax.

That's only for a day or two.

But it won't be if
the chief's that bad.

He may not get well for years.

Inspector Henderson's
gonna be upset about it.

I just phoned his office,

and they said he was
on the way down here.

[KNOCKING]

Come in.

Kent, what have you
people done to that man?

To Mr. White? But
we haven't done...

Do you know the Morley
g*ng trial comes up tomorrow?

Do you? Of course we know.

And our whole case depends on

the testimony of Perry White.

I don't suppose
that concerns you.

Well there's no reason
he won't be able to testify.

Ho-ho, no, not at all.

Not at all.

Except for one little thing.

White saw Morley here and there

before he was m*rder*d
by one of his own g*ng.

So White's testimony
concerns seeing things.

Right?

Right.

Well, the district
attorney and I

have just come
from visiting White.

We went out to go over
what he's gonna say in court

before they start
cross-examining him.

[CHUCKLES] Ho-ho.

Oh, what a witness he'll make.

Now, wait a minute, Bill.
I know the chief's upset.

But I'm sure he'll
come through for you.

They'll ask White if he
saw Morley here and there,

and he'll say yes.

They'll ask him, does
he know what he sees,

and he'll say yes.

They'll ask him did he ever
see a ghost, for instance,

and he'll say yes.

What do you mean,
a ghost? What ghost?

[SIGHS]

Oh, I know.

I feel as sorry
for him as you do.

He couldn't possibly
testify in court,

the condition he's in.

Our star witness
against that g*ng,

and he's gone
completely off his rocker.

Did he actually tell
you he saw a ghost?

Whose ghost?

Oh, I don't know.

He simply said he
had to study his Latin,

and kicked us out.

What?

You know, the poor
man's so mixed up,

he doesn't talk like
he used to anymore.

He kept saying,
"Great jingle bells."

"Great jingle bells"?

Ha. That's funny.

You mean, instead of
"Great Caesar's g... "?

Lois, I think I
better get out there.

But Clark, you're the editor,
and we've gotta go to press.

I'll go, chief.

You'll what?

I mean, Mr. Kent.

Look, I've been sure all
along there's something fishy

about what's
happened to Mr. White.

If I can prove the
Morley g*ng's behind it...

You mean they're
driving him out of his mind,

so he can't testify
against them?

Well, they're all loose
on bail, aren't they?

Yes...

Jimmy, this is more
of a job for Superman.

Well, I'm afraid Superman
hasn't seen anything wrong so far.

Be he hasn't even
been out there.

Hey, whatever happened
to Superman, anyway?

Well, I've been so
chained to this desk that...

Don't bother.

If I get into any trouble,

I'll find Superman myself.

Now, just a minute, Jimmy.

I'll phone you when I get
out there this evening, chief.

And don't call me "chief"!

Caesar, why do you
have to talk all the time?

Oh, really, Perry.
Have some sympathy.

I was known as one

of the greatest
orators of all time.

None of the other
ghosts will listen to me.

You have no idea
how dreadful it is

for a politician to be silenced.

Oh, if only I knew how
to silence you forever.

Now, now, don't
upset yourself, Perry.

Just take my advice and relax.

Close your eyes...

and listen.

Friends, Romans, countrymen,

lend me your ears.

I come... PERRY: Please, please!

Superman.

Shh.

What are you doing here?

I just heard voices inside.

I know, Jimmy. Come
on around the back.

Poor man.

Sound asleep.

Hi, Jarvis.

Oh, uh, hello, Julius.

Wait, Jimmy.

That's Mr. White's
room right through there.

Why...? Why can't you leave now?

W-why can't you let him alone?

Well, not till after the trial.

Besides, I'm
beginning to enjoy this.

[CHUCKLES]

Why'd you have
to lay it on so thick,

with all this
raving and ranting?

If poor Mr. White has to
listen to this without a rest, he...

He will go out of his mind.

[DOOR SLAMS]

That's what he's supposed to do.

But... you told me

you weren't going to hurt him.

Why, the other day,

he nearly jumped
out of that airplane,

searching for
your voice, Julius.

What if something worse
happens to the poor creature?

Well, go on, Superman.
Do something.

Shh. Wait, Jimmy.

We're gonna have
to help Mr. White.

Besides, we need
his testimony in court

to help convict those men.

We'll wait till they leave him.

[SIGHS]

Mr. White.

Mr. White. Wake up.

It's just us.

Don't make any noise.
Don't say anything.

Superman.

Olsen.

Let go of me.

We come to rescue you.

That ghost is a fake.

Oh. Is that so?

Well, uh, it just
happens that Mr. Caesar

is a guest in my house.

Mr. White, what's the matter?

You're talking crazy.

Come on, Jimmy.

Get out. And don't
come back either.

Superman, we're too late.

He's clear out of his mind.

No, Jimmy. He's just
exhausted and confused.

What I have to do is
show up that ghost of his.

And right in front of him.

You go ahead.

[♪♪♪]

So that's what
Morley looked like.

Derby hat and long overcoat.

He wore them all the time.

He was the leader of
their g*ng, Superman.

And I think they m*rder*d
him to take over for themselves.

We'll find out soon enough.

I don't get it, Superman.

A coat...

and a derby.

CAESAR: Perry.

Perry?

Perry White.

[WHISPERS] Listen.

It's the ghost.

Listen, Jimmy, give me the hat.

You take that tape recorder
and sneak in the garden.

And I'll show you and
the chief what happens

when one ghost sees another.

All right, Perry.
Time for another talk.

[GROANS] Okay.

Here I am.

I'm glad you don't
resist me anymore.

You do trust me, now, don't you?

Oh, sure, sure.

SUPERMAN: Do you
believe in ghosts too, Julius?

Who said that?

There's no one there.

SUPERMAN: Here I am.

I can materialize
as fast as lightning.

But that's nothing

for a ghost to
do, is it, Julius?

Who are you? Where
did you get that coat?

This is Morley's coat.

And Morley's hat too.

So I must be Morley, right?

Only Morley is dead, isn't
he? So I must be his ghost.

There's no such thing as ghosts.

Careful. It's a trick.

Oh, you don't believe me.

Well... watch.

Where is he? Where did he go?

Look this way, gentlemen.

There's nothing to doing
this, is there, Julius?

Now let's see you do it.

You shouldn't have any
trouble if you're a ghost,

and not just a man wearing
phosphorescent paint.

Let me out of
here. It is Morley.

Stand back. You're crazy.

Go on, sh**t.

[CLICKS]

Look, he... H-he's isn't hurt.

They just...

They couldn't have
bounced off of him.

They must have gone through him.

Yes, it looks like I really
am a ghost, doesn't it?

Morley's ghost.

Come to haunt you, Julius.

We didn't mean
to k*ll you, Morley.

H-he did it. He did it.

CLERK: He helped me.

W-we all k*lled you, Morley.

All right, boys, that does it.

Give me your g*n.
Put your hands up.

Well, inspector,

you have a complete confession.

Jimmy has the whole
thing on his tape recorder.

Mr. White...

I think you can believe now

that our friend
here is just a fraud.

A plain, flesh-and-blood crook.

We'll put these birds in jail

for the rest of their lives,

which probably won't be long.

Great Caesar's ghost.

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Don't miss
the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing

Adventures of Superman.

Superman is based
on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.