03x10 - The Bully of Dry Gulch

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Adventures of Superman". Aired: September 19, 1952 – April 28, 1958.*
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Beloved series based on comic book characters and concepts that Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created in 1938 where Superman battles crooks, gangsters, and other villains in the fictional city of Metropolis while masquerading "off duty" as Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent.
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03x10 - The Bully of Dry Gulch

Post by bunniefuu »

NARRATOR: The
Adventures of Superman.

Faster than a speeding b*llet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN 1: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

[♪♪♪]

Well, Dry Gulch Hotel.

Guess this will have to do.

I guess so. It's the
only one in town.

At least the town's
peaceful enough.

Almost too peaceful.

What did you expect, Miss Lane?

Desperadoes
sh**ting up the place?

[g*nshots, HORSE WHINNIES]

Come on, you old coyote, dance.

Come on.

Put some life into it.

I'm doin' all right.

But them b*ll*ts is
bouncin' off my corns.

[LAUGHS]

Is very funny.

b*ll*ts stepping on his corns.

What's funny?

Nothing.

I-is very sad altogether.

I don't think it's
very funny either.

What did you say, stranger?

Did I say something?

He said it's not very
funny. And I agree with him.

Ma'am, the code of
the West don't allow me

to go around sh**ting
up pretty gals like you.

But a real healthy
male critter like this...

I think I just lost my health.

[g*nsh*t]

You can't do that to him.

That's right, you can't!

Next time, it's
gonna be your head.

On the other hand, uh,

what's done is
done, I always say.

Yeah, that's more like it.

Ma'am, allow me
to introduce myself.

My name's Gunner Flinch,

fastest gunman in the West.

When's the next
train for the East?

I'm Lois Lane, and
this is Jimmy Olsen.

We're on our way to cover
the annual rodeo at Big Springs,

and our car broke down.

Until it's fixed tomorrow,

you're not going
to get rid of us.

Well, ma'am, I don't
really aim to get rid of you.

But the dude
here, he's different.

I don't rightly
cotton to his attitude.

Stranger, you've got until
sundown to get out of town.

Who are you calling a dude?

And who are you
telling to get out of town?

You.

Have you got anything to
back them words up, mister?

Just these here two g*ns.

And I got ten notches
on each one of 'em.

Well... I guess that
answers my question.

Come on, Jim.

Uh, I don't like the
atmosphere around here.

I'll ignore that kind
of a remark, ma'am,

and say it's been real
nice meeting you, huh?

And dude? Don't forget:

out of town by sunset.

Look! I'll go when
I'm good and ready.

But... I think I'll be
ready by then. Uh-huh.

And you get any ideas that I'm

not top g*n in these parts...

just ask somebody
on Boot Hill, huh?

Boot Hill?

Yeah, but you won't
be getting no answers.

You see, Boot Hill
is the town cemetery.

[CHUCKLES]

You, uh... You go
on ahead, Miss Lane.

Now, don't you do anything rash.

Pretty hard to believe,

but I think we've stumbled
on a bit of the Old West.

Oh, don't worry, Miss Lane.

I've seen enough Western
movies to know what I'm doing.

Well, I certainly hope so.

[g*nshots]

Oh, Jim, that sh*t.
For a minute, I...

It must be Gunner practicing.

What in the world are you

trying to prove with that getup?

He called me a dude.

And I aim to show
him how wrong he is.

But, Jim, he's armed.

And all those notches.

Each one represents
someone he's k*lled in a gunfight.

I know.

But aside from
that, what's he got

that I haven't got?

Nothing.

And he doesn't need it.

I wish you wouldn't
put it quite that way.

Anyway, I got until
sundown, so, uh, let's go eat.

Okay. But please
don't start anything.

All right.

[METAL CLINKING]

Here you are, boys.

Almost forgot.

Payday.

Oh.

A raise, huh? Mm-hm.

I'm feelin' real generous.

Oh. Thanks, boss.

It's okay. I'm feelin' good.

Been out practicin'.

Got myself five squirrels
right between the wings.

Yeah?

You mean, between the eyes.

No, no. Between the wings.

These here was flyin' squirrels.

[LAUGHS]

Which one of you boys
feels like a little gamblin', hm?

Uh, can't you... We just
look at it for a while, no, boss?

Oh, sure.

Sure, as long as you
don't feel like gambling.

Course, you... You
don't have to play.

Oh, we'd rather gamble
with you, boss, than eat.

Wouldn't we, Pedro?

Sí, sí.

Especially when, if
we do not gamble,

we do not have to
worry about not eating.

That's just what
I wanted to hear.

Come on, what
are we waiting for.

You know, this is
what I look forward to.

Once a week.

Just like clockwork.

Bet 'em high. Make a pile.

Well, I... I bet it all.

Mm-hm. Me too.

Here we go.

Pick 'em up, read
'em and weep, boys.

Uh-oh. Uh...

Don't even bother to read 'em.

Hate to tell you this
boys, but I got five b*ll*ts.

Five little aces.

In Mexico a man would be k*lled

for having five aces.

What did you say, Pedro?

Uh, I said, "In Mexico,
a man would be...

thrilled to have five aces."

"Thrilled," huh?

That's what I thought you said.

But just to be sure there's
no misunderstanding,

everything's clear...

you boys don't think you
been cheated, do you?

I think you were cheated.

Well, now, look at the dude.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm mighty glad to see you
went and bought them fancy duds.

You like 'em?

Sure do.

Hate to see a man die
unless'n he's properly outfitted.

You leave him alone.

My, my, ma'am,
you're sure excitable.

Uh, but maybe you're right.

Maybe it's too early
in the day for a killin'.

Pedro, get him out of here.

I want somethin' to look
forward to at sundown.

You come with me, no?

I come with you, yes.

Ándale.

Jimmy. Now, ma'am.

What are you gonna do with him?

Oh, you've got nothing
to worry about, ma'am.

Leastwise, not yet.

Why don't you and me
sort of talk this over?

No! Ooh.

I am sorry I have
to do this, señor.

You can't sh**t a
man down in cold blood.

[LAUGHS]

I'm not going to sh**t you.

You... You're not?

No.

Gunner is going to do that.

Oh.

Well, uh, in that case.

[MUFFLED] Whoa. Help.

I've gone blind.

Go pin a tail on a donkey.

[g*nsh*t]

You want anything done,
you gotta do it yourself,

I always say.

Move, stranger.

Help. Let me out of here.

Get lost, stupid.

Yes sir, gladly.

Not you.

I meant Pedro.

Now, you turn around
and walk up the street.

What are you stopping for, dude?

Let's go in there, huh?

No, thanks. There's, uh...

There's something
about jails that I don't like.

Now, ain't that a shame.

Inside.

Go on.

Well, now, look at that.

Somebody's gone and
left a cell door open.

Why don't you close it, dude.

That's a funny
way to run a jail.

Go on.

You can't do this.

I demand a writ
of habeas delicti!

Now, don't you worry
about that, dude.

Don't you worry about a thing.

You just be sure you're
out of town by sundown.

How can I get out
of town by sundown

if I'm locked in here?

Well, that's your problem.

Please, operator, try
and get that call through.

Yes.

Call me back as
soon as possible.

I thought you
would like to know.

The young man is in jail.

In jail?

Oh, what did he do?

What did any of us do?

With Gunner, it does not matter.

Pedro, why do you and Sagebrush

put up with that
conceited bully?

If we do not put up with
him, he gets very mad.

And when he gets very mad:

[MOANS]

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello? Yes.

Yes, put him on.

Hello, Lois. You sound
excited. What's the matter?

Clark, we're in trouble.

Jimmy's in jail, and he's
gonna be sh*t at sundown.

Lois, I'm very busy.

If you want to play
jokes, try someone else.

I'm not joking.

Our car broke down,

and we're stuck in a
place called Dry Gulch.

I know it sounds crazy, but
there's a gunslinger in town

who thinks he's Jesse
James or somebody.

And he's gunning for Jimmy.

Tell him to go on a
diet. He'll be harder to hit.

This is no joking matter.

Besides putting
Jimmy in jail, this...

This character's been
making goo-goo eyes at me.

He's been doing what?

That's different.
I'll be right out.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I'll be a sidewindin' gopher.

Whatever that is.

Well, Jimmy, now
you can get out of here.

Oh, jeepers. Thanks, Superman.

How did you get here?

Same way I get everywhere.

No, I don't mean that.

How did you know I was in jail?

Oh, I happened to
overhear a conversation

between Miss Lane and Mr. Kent.

Mr. Kent? Is he coming out here?

Yes. As a matter of fact, I
expect him any minute now.

Jeepers. With both
you and Mr. Kent here,

I don't have anything
to worry about.

Well, now, Jimmy, I can't stay.

Incidentally, I want you to keep
this secret between you and me.

Whatever you say, Superman.

Thanks, Jimmy. I'll see you.

Clark.

Hello, Lois.

How in the world did
you get here so fast?

I flew. Where's Jimmy?

You'll never believe this,

but somehow he
broke out of jail.

He's up in his room
now, waiting for you.

Oh, well, let him
stay there for a while.

First, I want to have
a look at this fellow

who's making the
goo-goo eyes at you.

Oh, he's probably
over in the café.

Please be careful, Clark.

After all, you're not Superman.

Oh.

Well, I guess those are just
chances I'll have to take, Lois.

Let's go.

[♪♪♪]

Clark, this is Gunner Flinch.

Mr. Flinch, Mr. Kent.

He's also a reporter
on the Planet.

Well, howdy, Mr. Kent.

I've heard about you.

Welcome to Dry Gulch.

I've heard about
you too, Gunner.

In fact, I'd like to have
a little talk with you.

Can I buy you a soda? Well...

Well, uh, I got a
better idea, Mr. Kent.

Why don't we sit down
and play a little poker,

just to be sociable.

Oh, I'm sorry,
Gunner, I don't gamble.

Mr. Kent, according
to the code of the West,

when a man asks you to
drink with him, or gamble,

you better drink and gamble.

Fine. I'll drink... soda.

I said "gamble."

Let me tell you somethin'.

When a man
declines my invitation,

I go loco, see.

Plumb loco.

Somethin' snaps inside
me, and I lose control.

In fact...

In fact, I feel it
comin' on right now,

and there's nothin'
I can do to stop it.

You better do
what he says, Clark.

Even if the cards are marked.

Marked? There's not
much I can do about that.

There!

You see what I mean?

Yes, I do, Gunner.
I've changed my mind.

I'll gamble with you.

Well, that's better.

Wait a minute. What
kind of g*ns do you carry?

These, ma'am? These
here are six-g*ns.

I was counting.

You sh*t one of
them seven times.

Oh, well, uh...

Ma'am, sometimes
I sh**t so fast,

even my g*ns can't
keep up with me.

That's a k*ller.

After you, Mr. Kent.

Thank you. Oh, would you
care to have a cup of coffee?

I, uh, just happen to have
a deck of cards right handy.

Well, that's a coincidence. Heh.

Cigarette, Mr. Kent?

Oh, thank you, no.
I don't smoke. Oh.

Can I light yours?

Why, sure.

Thanks.

You got real nice
manners, Mr. Kent...

We're on fire. What happened?

Well, I'm awfully sorry.

It must be my fault.

I, uh, threw the match on there.

I'm... I'm terribly sorry.

I'll get you a new deck.

Wha... No, no, not a new deck.

I...

I hardly got these broken in.

Well, that's life.

Uh, waiter, do you
sell cards here?

You bet.

Well, may I have a deck, please?

Sure.

I haven't had time
to mark them yet.

I'm sure Gunner
wouldn't want to play

with marked cards.

Clark, that deck just
seemed to explode in flames.

Well, maybe it was a hot deck.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

There you are, Gunner.

[SIGHS]

Thanks.

You know what I'm
gonna do, Mr. Kent?

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna give you...

the benefit of the doubt.

Deal.

Well, it's nice to be trusted.

Ah, let's see.

Mm-hm.

[♪♪♪]

You know, I, uh...

I sort of got a feeling

you might have played
this game before.

Nonsense.

All right, Gunner, what
do you want to play for?

Well...

Match that.

Alrighty.

That should cover it.

Cut.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

That's a mighty
fancy deal, Mr. Kent.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

All right, Gunner,
how many cards?

I'm standin' pat.

Well, so am I.

Can you b*at five aces?

Five...

There ain't more than four
in the whole bloody pack.

That is not what
you said this morning

when you had the five aces.

Yeah, but that... That...

Well... Heh. I...

Looks like you win, Mr. Kent.

Yes. Looks like.

Well...

Thanks for the lesson.

Here you are, sir.

I hope that will cover
part of the damage.

Thank you very much, sir.

My pleasure.

Uh-uh.

Shall we, Lois? Gladly.

But how in the world did
you b*at him so easily?

Well, maybe I have a
few tricks of my own.

Oh, Gunner. Could I
have my hat, please?

Thank you.

Uh, let me know if you find
more than five aces, will you?

Come out now?

Hi, Mr. Kent.

I heard you were coming.

Oh, you did? Who from?

Oh, well, uh, from
Miss Lane, for one.

You should have
seen the fun, Jim.

Clark just b*at Gunner
in a poker game.

Well, that may have
started out like fun,

but that doesn't mean
it'll end up that way.

I don't think
Gunner likes to lose.

Uh, speaking of Gunner...

Well, dude. How did you
get out of the hoosegow?

Same way I got in.

Accidentally.

Smart guy, huh?

Let me tell you
somethin', dude...

Gunner. Leave him alone.

You k*lled him.

Mr. Kent, do something.

He can't do anything now.

I had to k*ll him. He
started to draw on me.

A man's got a right
to protect himself.

He's right, Jimmy.

There's nothing
to do. Right now.

That's using your
head, Mr. Kent.

Well, don't you
just stand there.

Tote him up to Boot
Hill like the others.

Sure. Whatever you say, boss.

[♪♪♪]

Excuse me just a minute, folks.

What's that, uh,
second notch for?

One, two.

That second one there,

that one's for you, dude.

[BLOWS ON g*n]

I have a terrible feeling
that he doesn't like me.

And I have a feeling
you're absolutely right.

[GROANS]

Okay, Pedro. You can get up now.

[GROANS]

I am getting sick of this.

You're sick?

Gunner's k*lled me
three times already.

He is one big show-me-off.

He pretends to k*ll us
so he look like big man.

The way he pretend
to k*ll all the others.

Well, maybe he actually
hasn't k*lled nobody.

But if he heard you
talkin' like you are now,

he just might.

You better skedaddle.

You can't blame yourself, Jim.

Just the same, if
it weren't for me,

Pedro would still be alive.

Mr. Kent, sometimes I think

it's better to run
away from bullies.

Well, sometimes it is, Jim.

But there's nothing
you can do about it now.

At least I can
go up to Boot Hill

and pay my respects.

That's a good idea.

We'll all go.

Is, um...? Is this Boot Hill?

Yes, it is, son.

I ain't much on this...

poetry, but this is
the best I can do.

"Here lies Pedro at last

"He drew his g*n once too often

"Now he lies in his coffin

'Cause he drew, But
he didn't draw fast."

[CHUCKLES]

The poet laureate of Dry Gulch.

"Here lies Cactus
Bill. Gunner got him."

"Mesquite John,

"You they wanted to
lynch Till you ran into

Gunner Flinch."

"Here lies Olsen, the dude.

To Gunner he was very rude."

"Here lies..."

Did I say "Olsen"?

Gunner must really
mean business, Clark.

Oh, I don't know.

I don't like the
business he's in.

It's too bad that
Gunner's spoiling things.

We could certainly
enjoy this scenery.

What are you looking at, Clark?

Mm?

I said, What are you looking at?

Oh. Oh, I wasn't looking

at anything special, Lois.

I was just admiring this
scenery and those hills.

I think I'll take a little walk,

and try and think this out.

We'll meet you
back at the hotel.

I'll be packing.

It's a good thing
for you, young feller,

you ain't as tall
as your friend.

Cause you'll make a
much smaller target.

[♪♪♪]

A-at last it's happened.

I-I've lost my mind, no?

No, Pedro, you
haven't lost your mind.

Or your life either, apparently.

Many times I hear of Superman,

but I do not think I
will ever meet him.

Well, you've met him now.

And I'd like to help you, Pedro.

How would you like to
help me teach the Gunner

a lesson he'll never forget?

I would like that very much.

But, no... No, thank you.

I am also fond of living.

Well, don't you
worry, I have an idea.

And I think we can get
Clark Kent to help us too.

Now, come on over
here and sit down,

and I'll tell you all about it.

Did you figure out
anything, Clark?

Only that there's gonna
be trouble in the streets

around here pretty soon.

So I suppose you're going
up to your room and hide.

Sometimes, Lois,

discretion is the
better part of valor.

Well, I don't feel
very brave myself.

But if it concerns
Gunner, I want to watch.

Let's go over to the café.

Look, there's Gunner now.

I can't believe it, boss.

Pedro can't be that stupid.

Can't he?

[♪♪♪]

He's sure asking for it.

What you waiting for?

Why you don't sh**t?

I'm aimin' to
give you first sh*t.

Otherwise, against a
dangerous gunman like me,

you wouldn't stand a chance.

Go on.

Get it over with. sh**t!

[SIGHS]

I-I just can't do it, Pedro.

I-I can't bring
myself to k*ll you.

Why not?

Already this year
you k*ll me 10 times.

Yeah, but that...
That wasn't for real.

I can't really k*ll you, Pedro.

You been my buddy for too long.

[WIND GUSTING]

Superman.

That's right, Gunner.

I had a feeling your bark
was worse than your bite,

so I paid you a little
visit this afternoon,

while you were
taking your siesta.

You paid me a visit?

Yes, and you were
snoring so peacefully,

I didn't have the
heart to disturb you.

So I just removed the
slugs from your shells.

Slugs...

You mean, I got nothin'
in my g*ns but blanks?

Why, that little varmint
could have k*lled me.

Boss, why you do
not tell the people

all those graves on
Boot Hill are phonies?

Yeah.

Yeah, they're phony all right.

Just like the
notches on my g*ns.

I ain't never really k*lled
nobody in my whole life.

Me too. But I think maybe now...

[GASP]

What are you doing, Pedro?

What's the idea
sh**t' at my feet?

I think maybe I like to
see you dance, boss.

[SCREAMS] [LAUGHTER]

[GASPS]

What was it you said
about sundown, partner?

I said sundown's

mighty pretty in these parts.

If you don't figure on being
out of town by that time...

I do.

Come on, boys.

Wait a minute, boss.

Huh? You forgot something.

Huh? Yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

All right, boys.

Let's vamoose. Ha.

That's the way it is with
most bullies, I guess.

Inside, they're just scared.

Yeah. Just the same...

he had me pretty
scared for a while.

[CHUCKLES]

Well...

all the sh**ting over?

Oh, yes, Mr. Kent.

It's quite quiet now.

Hey. By the way,
where's Superman?

Yeah. Golly, he was
just here a minute ago.

It's a funny thing.

When you're around,
Superman never is.

Yes, it is funny.

But maybe he doesn't like me.

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Don't miss
the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing
Adventures of Superman!

Superman is based
on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.
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