01x05 - A New Period

[bunniefuu]

Whoa!

- Keep it level.
- Trying.

Holy sh*t, it's the factory.

- Steady!
- Whoa, whoa!

Hold on to something!

- You okay?
- Will you get off of me

already, you big idiot?

All right, I'm trying.

We're here.

Here, come this way.

Thought time travel
would take a lot longer.

That was, what,
like, a minute? Less?

- Come on, come on, come on.
- Okay.

I don't remember
it being that fast last time.

It was.
And you were unconscious.

Come on.

Come on.

Yeah.

We made it, Mac.

Wonderful.

Well, landing could
use a little work,

but, uh, guess you can teach
a stubborn old dog

some new tricks.

Thank you.

Go home.

Come on. Go.

Now if only Debbie Gibson
would come back to the mall.

f*ck off.

We're just in time
for the ultimate mission.

And actually,
according to my temporal map,

we should have just over an hour

to intercept Heck and Naldo
on Maple.

What's going on?
Are we off target?

Because, I mean, we can always
find our way back with the map.

I don't want to look
at your stupid map, okay?

g*dd*mn.

But the map will help us get
to where we need to be.

- Yeah.
- Is everything okay here?

Yeah, everything's fine.

Okay.

Well, you seem, uh, agitated.

I'm not agitated.

I think maybe we landed
in the wrong...

Can everyone just,
please, just-just...

- Uh...
- Hey, Larry?

What's going on?

- Hmm?
- I...

Uh...

Guys.

What in the f*cking f*ck
is that?

Is that who we're waiting for?

We're too late.

I'm so sorry.

Run. Run!

- Jesus Christ, what did you do?
- Run!

Come on.
Go, go, go. Run.

- Come on.
- Go.

Go to the trailer!

Come on! Come on!
Get into the trailer! Come on!

This is for Juniper,
you son of a bitch!

No! No! No! No!

Larry!

Keep your heads
down. Keep your heads down.

- Please get us out of here.
- We're gonna die.

- No one is going to die, okay?
- What are we gonna do?

Okay, so...

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Hey. Hey.

Listen to me.
This is what we know how to do.

We take care of people. Okay?

And you're gonna take care
of them. You got it?

- What are you saying?
- You are good at it.

I promise. Just...

Just don't use it as an excuse.

Now, I'm gonna go take care
of this. But I need

all of you to get as far away
from here as possible.

You hear me?

Go. Go,

- and don't look back.
- No. No, no,

- no, no, no. Please, no.
- Yes.

You're gonna get k*lled.

Hey.

I'm gonna be okay.

I'm gonna be okay.
Just remember what I said, okay?

- Don't be scared.
- Come with us.

Please, please. We can make it.

We can make it
if we still run. Please.

Take care of them. Okay?

- No. No, no, no.
- And-and let them in.

- I bet they'll surprise you.
- No.

Erin? Erin! Erin!

Erin!

No!

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go again.

Okay.

All right.

Come on, Erin.

- Get up, Erin. Come on.
- Get up.

- Come on, Erin. Erin, please. Come on.
- Get up!

- Get up. - Get up.
- Come on, Erin.

Come on, Erin.

Okay.

Emotionally, I'm gonna win.

In my life, I'm gonna win.

I am going to win.

Oh, God, I hope this works.

Go.

- Come on.
- Great.

Bring it, you m*therf*cker.

Here we go. Okay, come on, Erin.

- Oh.
- She-she's doing it.

Here we go.

sh*t.

No, no. No.

Erin, come on.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No.

Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.

Damn it. Oh!

Hey.

- - It's okay. It's okay.
- It's okay.

- Erin.
- Shh. Shh.

It's okay.

Erin, you're okay. It's okay.

- Erin, it's okay.
- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Erin!

Hey. It's okay, Erin.

We need that backpack.

We can't let it fall into
enemy hands. It's important.

- It's more important than getting you k*lled?
- No,

it's not, Tiff. Just let it go.

We've come too far
to let all this happen again.

We need it.

- Tiff, stay here.
- Don't you open the door. Tiffany!

Damn it!

Come on, Tiff.

I swear to God, Tiff...

Oh, sh*t.

Get out of there, Tiff.
Get out of there.

Come on, Tiffany.

Who the hell is that guy?

- We don't know him, right?
- Mm-mm.

She was the one
who k*lled Naldo.

You know,

I always hated these.

I remember this model.

Maneuvered well enough,
but I had a miserable copilot.

"Miserable"? Excuse me?

I remember him
being very charming,

very handsome

and, on a number of occasions,
saving your life.

Before he settled down
to a desk job.

Hey, he was promoted.

The probes
have been all over the wreckage.

They found two dead travelers.

Okay. That's good, right?

Until it happens again.

Nobody wants this w*r to be over
more than I do.

Then let's end it tomorrow
by sending a team.

- Hell, just send me.
- You know

that I can't do that.

It's not our way.

And so this w*r continues

simply because our enemy refuses

to tie its own hands as we do.

I know this is personal for you,

but I'm gonna need you

to separate that

from the task at hand!

You're not special.

We've all lost someone.

It was his time.

So, I'm gonna need you

to ablute this whole area

so that this can be done
for good.

Oh, f*ck.
I stepped right in the guy!

g*dd*mn it.

Ugh! f*ck!

Tiff,
I swear to God. Come on.

Christ, Tiff, are you crazy?
That was so stupid.

- Ablution is happening.
- Ablution?

What the hell
are you talking about?

Larry told me about it.
It's when the Old Watch

beams you up to some place,
and they wipe your mind,

and then they put you back
like nothing happened.

They use it to make people
forget everything.

Why would they do that?

To keep the time w*r secret.

So that means we're going
to forget all of this?

Yeah.

I mean, I think so.

sh*t. It's coming!

It was nice knowing you,
I guess.

But why do we
still remember everything?

I mean, if this is
the same thing

that happened on Hell Day...

Which, by all appearances,
it totally was...

This is the second time
it hasn't worked on us.

You don't think that's weird?

We're probably
not important enough

to go looking for.

Well, if we're here undetected,
it'll make it a lot easier

- to save Heck and Naldo.
- What? No.

No. I'm going home
to my parents, okay?

And I'm gonna play
with my puppy,

and I'm gonna have a good dinner

and sleep
in my own wonderful bed.

And you know what?
I'm even looking forward

to having
my stupid freaking bat mitzvah.

What? We have to warn them.
They're walking into an ambush.

I am done watching people die.

KJ is right.

It's not our problem.

I'll even be glad to see
my sh*thole of a house again.

I'll even be glad

to wake up for my stupid
paper route tomorrow.

- Forget that. I'm quitting the paper route for sure.
- Yeah.

You might be
onto something there.

Hello? You guys are
missing the bigger picture here.

Nothing can go back to normal
right now.

What are you talking about?

We still have this.

It's a guide
to every known folding.

There's a w*r going on,
remember?

We can't just go home.

We have to help win this thing

and get this book
to Heck and Naldo.

It's the key.

And if we don't do something
within the next hour,

the versions of us
that already exist in '88

are gonna go through everything
we just did all over again.

They'll chase Heck and Naldo,
Erin will get sh*t,

and we'll end up
in their time capsule thing

and arrive in 2019
and all of that craziness.

Hello? We are the versions of us
that exist in '88.

Why are there flags everywhere?

It's supposed to be Halloween.

July 3, 1999.

That's what the paper says.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

f*ck this.

There has to be
some kind of mistake,

like there was an error
in the coordinates

when we went into the folding

or the Old Watch sabotaged
the entire mission.

Tiffany.

Jesus Christ.
Is it not obvious what happened?

- What?
- Larry lied to us!

He wasn't ever
gonna take us home!

- No way. No, he wouldn't.
- So you think it's what?

A coincidence that we landed
in the exact year

that he wanted to go to
before you pitched

your brilliant f*cking plan?
You know what, Tiffany?

- KJ!
- He would've said anything

to make Erin pilot
that stupid robot.

All he cared about was
getting that to '99 for the STF.

- He didn't give a sh*t about us.
- KJ!

Old Erin d*ed for a lie.

But how?

He said we were chosen.

Tiff.

We weren't chosen for anything.

We were an accident.

You doing all right?

I, um...

Were you always wearing
those pants?

I need you.

I need you
to steal something for me.

Yeah, we were at Mike's.

I don't know, just, like,
played video games and...

A couple hours.

Yeah, we ordered a pizza.

What the hell?

Baby, I-I told you this already.

We're just friends.

We-we were hanging out
with a bunch of people.

Come on, babe.

sh*t! Babe, hold on.
I swear I'll call you back.

- What are you doing?
- I'm so sorry.

- The handle got stuck, and...
- Look. Just step back, okay?

Try not to step in it.

Sorry!

I didn't get the pads.

They looked
like full-on baby diapers,

so I got these instead.

I'm pretty sure
they're the same.

Can I see them?

- What do you think "super" and "regular" mean?
- Obviously

the size of your vag*na.

You sure?

Yes.

I'd probably be a super.

How do you, like, measure it?

- Ask KJ.
- How would I know?

Oh, I get it.
Because I have emotions,

- you think I had it already?
- No.

We think you've had it
'cause you're rich

and you ride horses and sh*t.

- Yeah.
- You can get it from a horse?

- No.
- I think it's from riding the horse.

- No, that doesn't happen.
- That's not what I've heard.

Well, it didn't happen to me.

So you haven't had your...

Guess I'm a regular.

How do I get it...

in-in me?

How do you get it out?

There has to be instructions.

It just says it gives you

"out of sight
and out of mind protection."

Let me see?

Here we go.

Okay. First,
you wash your hands,

and then you get
into a comfortable position.

Should I lie down?

Mm-mm.
You should sit on the toilet

- with your knees apart.
- How is that comfortable?

I don't know.
I'm just reading this.

And then you, um,

push the tampon

inside, you know, that area.

And then how do you get it out?

It says you loosen your muscles,

and then you pull it out
by the removal string.

- Which muscles?
- It doesn't say.

It's gotta be vag*na muscles.

I-I don't think mine has those.

What if it never comes out?

- I guess your body just absorbs it.
- No.

It's like gum.
It stays inside you forever

and slowly rots.

Wait, what's this thing
on the back, this white circle?

It's some kind of warning.

Apparently, you can get Toxic
Shock Syndrome from tampons.

What the f*ck?

Fever, vomiting,
rash, diarrhea...

Let me see that.

Yeah. Guys, this is bad.

Yeah, it's really bad.

One of my mom's friends got it
and her leg fell off.

She's still alive, though.

- She just doesn't have a leg.
- I can't.

I quit.

I don't think you can
quit your period.

Oh, no, I can't do this.

I can't.
Take it. Take it.

I'll get you a diaper.

How you doing in there?

- Erin, you doing okay?
- Uh, I think so.

When she comes out, we need
to find something to eat.

And we need to find
someplace to sleep.

We need to get somewhere safe.

Then we can start going
through this book

and trying to figure out
how to get home.

Well, we're not going to
any of our families.

That's for sure.

None of us want a repeat of...

you know... Erin.

- This time, we're on our own.
- I agree.

We need to be careful,

but how are we supposed
to survive on our own?

We're kids. We need help.

Homeless shelter?

Uh...

What? They serve food and sh*t.

Mac, we're not going
to a homeless shelter.

All right, it was just an idea.

Oh, the school.

It's summer break,
so it'll be empty.

Yeah, which probably means
the electricity and water

are shut off.

But I bet we could figure out
how to turn it on.

Which will probably make
the cops come.

Maybe just cool it
on the ideas for a sec, Tiff.

All right, fine.
We can go to my house.

I don't think
that's the best call.

Every Fourth of July weekend,

my parents and I go
to Lake Erie,

and we stay on our boat.

Of course you do.

The house will be empty.

We can go there,
we can get some supplies

and crash there for the night.

And then we'll think of
a more permanent solution

tomorrow morning.

Great.

You sure?

It'll be fine for the night.

Hmm?

Wonderful!
Now let's go.

Where?

It wasn't just me.
We all believed him.

It made sense.
I had a really good plan

to use the robot
to get us to '88,

but that doesn't make it
my fault

- he used that idea to trick us.
- No, not at all.

You guys understand that, right?

Maybe Larry's just a liar, Tiff.

Yeah, but what he wrote
in the book is real.

He thought the STF
would be here.

He thought it was important.

How about you relax, Tiff?

You don't have to talk
all the time, you know?

How much longer till your house?

It's up here on the left.

Sweet. A nice palace abode
with nobody home.

It's not a palace.
It's just a house

owned by two people who care
what everybody else think.

There shouldn't be
this many cars here.

No one's supposed to be home.

I think someone's home.

sh*t. We have to go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What if we, like, just

grabbed some food,
and then left?

- What?
- We need supplies.

- We'll be quick.
- No, Tiff.

What if someone sees us?

The only person they'd recognize
would be you.

- That's true.
- So why don't you wait out here,

- and we'll be in and out in, like, five minutes.
- Yeah.

Mac. Tiff!

Mac. Sidewalk.

Erin...

And no Black people.
Big surprise.

It takes different strokes
to move the world, Tiff.

Different strokes.

I'll be in there.

Okay.

Guess we're staying.

Hey, KJ!

- Hey, Rick. - What' up?
- Holy balls,

is that older you?

She's not a Jason from Friday
the Thirteenth hockey freak.

Zip it.

- You got lei'd.
- Ah!

You know, you are the first one
to make that joke.

Oh, my God, I hate that guy.
I hate him so much.

It's good to see you back home.

How was New York?
Was it just...

one big episode of Friends?

Yeah, uh, imagine Friends,
but just-just really poor.

Whoa, New York.

- That's cool.
- Shh!

I really want to visit.

Maybe if I had, like,
a tour guide or something.

Oh, my gosh,
this guy wants you so bad.

Would you shut the hell up?

- There you are.
- Oh, Mrs. Brandman.

Oh, Nora, please.

- God.
- Hello, mommy dearest.

Oh, now you're
even more beautiful.

Speaking of which, that dress
was definitely the right choice.

Richard, doesn't she look
gorgeous?

Oh, KJ always looks gorgeous,
Nora.

- See? Ooh.
- Thank you, thank you.

You don't have to say that,
like, on-on cue or anything.

- I wouldn't say it...
- It was so nice to see you.

I'm gonna...
I'm gonna run

- I'm gonna check on my friend.
- Yeah.

Lovely to see you. Yeah.
I'll-I'll see you around.

She likes you, I'm telling you.
I'm telling you.

I think we've got
something going.

Ya hungry?

Brought you some food.

Okay, I'm glad
I'm not the only one.

This stuff sucks, right?

I'm not hungry.

Hey. Come on.

Let's check out the rest
of the Brandman mansion.

Or... you can stay here

and watch a bunch of old,
drunk people do the mambo.

Whoa.

Damn, New Girl.

It doesn't taste as bad
as I thought it would.

Am I supposed to feel anything?

Don't worry, it'll come.

Look at all these tickets.

KJ's so lucky.

My mom never took us anywhere.

- Not even the movies.
- That blows.

Even my dad did that
once in a while.

Well, he wouldn't
physically take us,

but, um, he'd throw Dylan
and me a couple bucks

every now and then to see, like,
the newest Beverly Hills Cop

or something.

You would go together?

I still can't believe
that numb nuts

turned out to be a doctor.

Sounds like you had a good time.

It wasn't bad.

Well, except for
his oldest kid, Wilder.

What kind of name is that?

She was kind of a little sh*t.

Dylan's wife Jennifer was
pretty nice, though.

Their other daughter, Alice,
was pretty sweet, too.

They all had tons of clothes.

I'm sorry you had to leave.

Nah. I wouldn't have
fit in anyway.

How does this look?

This looks pretty "chick."

I don't think that's how
you say that word.

Come on, pick your jacket.

Come on.
Nobody's looking.

Yeah.

Now you're looking
like a Brandman.

In a good way?

Oh, God, Mac.

Come on, Tiff, let's get
some supplies.

Patti?

Hey, girl.

- Hey...
- Is that your puppy?

God, you've gotten so big.

She still remembers you.

Even though you missed
her entire life.

Okay.

I'm gonna take her out.
You stay here.

Come on, Patti.

Okay, this is courtesy
of Ms. Taylor Shore.

Taylor Shore needs
to carry more cash.

Um...

No. No, this is way too much.
I can't.

- Um, hello? Time-traveling orphans have to eat, pal.
- No, no, no.

Two hundred seems like a lot.

How about half?
A hundred.

Okay, look, it doesn't matter

if we take 100, or 50
or five dollars.

We're stealing either way.

So if we're gonna be crooks,
we might as well make it count.

Okay, fine.

I remember once last year,
in fifth grade,

this fucktard Bryant Gibbs
picked on me

for wearing Dylan's
hand-me-downs.

So I tell Dylan about this,
he gets apeshit mad.

He goes to this pinprick
Bryant's house

and tries to pick a fight
with him.

Bryant is in fifth grade.

Dylan already had
his f*ckin' license,

and he's way taller
than this kid.

So he's pissing his pants
when Dylan tells him

to step outside his house.

Of course, then, um,
Bryant's dad came out...

Oh, sh*t.

Did he bolt out of there?

No way.

Dylan came home with
a black eye swollen shut.

But he was grinning
from ear to ear.

- He was smiling?
- Yeah.

Dylan says, "The important thing
is how you go down."

He went down swinging
with everything he had.

Adult you definitely
gave those bastards

one hell of a fight.

So...

...did it hurt?

What?

When she d*ed.

Could you, like, feel it?

No.

I didn't feel anything.

I guess it's 'cause
adult me never all the way

felt like me.

Even with everything...

She just always felt like
a completely different person.

No.

She was you.

And that means that you saved
all of our lives.

I guess I do have cajones.

That you do, New Girl.

- Hi, there.
- Oh.

Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...

I-I was just looking
at the posters.

You're hiding out
from the party.

I get it. Me, too.

There's a lot to deal with
down there.

Yeah.

I'm Lauren. I go to
graduate school with KJ.

I'm Katherine, KJ's cousin.

Wow, I-I see a resemblance.

Oh.

Yeah.

So...

what do you and KJ
go to school for?

Uh, film school.
We go to NYU.

KJ doesn't go to
business school?

No. Why?

Did her mom tell you that?

I think old Nora would have
preferred that instead.

Yeah.

- What do you do in film school?
- Well,

we pay the school a lot of money

to study classic films
in order to try to figure out

what makes a good movie.

At least I think
that's the intention.

But we also make our own, and,

you know, hopefully
one day we'll end up

with our name on one of
those posters, who knows?

Hey, have you seen
any of KJ's stuff?

Oh...

Oh, you should
have her show you.

She's an amazing director.

Just an incredible eye.

I actually just sh*t
her last short.

Black and white,
you know, all hand held.

It takes place in the middle
of the night

- on the subway in New York.
- Wow.

What about you?
Do you like movies?

Uh, pfft, yeah, I guess so.

I haven't really seen
that many, though.

I mean, hey, I... I didn't
really get into them until

my senior year, I think.

But once the bug bit,
there was no return.

Kubrick changed my life.

What's a Kubrick?

Oh, my God, you're so cute.

Stanley Kubrick.
He's a director.

If you want to see some
insanely good movies,

like, really good movies,
he's your guy.

You know, there's an art house
theater downtown here,

and they're actually doing
a Kubrick marathon this weekend,

starting with Paths of Glory.

But that's at 9:00 a.m.

and I cannot do trench warfare
that early in the morning.

Oh.

But KJ and I are gonna
swing in for 2001.

You should totally come.

Oh, um, I'll have to check
with my parents,

but thank you, um...

Anyway, I'll let you
get back to work.

- It was really nice meeting you, Lauren.
- Likewise.

I hope I see a poster
for your movie one day.

I hope so, too.

KJ! I've seen you...

- sh*t.
- ...a wonderful...

Uh, yeah,
I'll-I'll be right back.

What you doing?

Just on AOL.

Hey, nice flower.

You look like a real
Hawaiian queen.

My mom strikes again.

She's offered me up to Rick
over break.

Bowling is on the docket.

Ah, sounds like a strong offer.

What, are you buying?

Mm. Tempting.

And Rick was quarterback
in high school, so...

I actually have
better things to do.

- Like what?
- Like a ton of editing.

Is that all?

Watch some films.

Nothing else?

What the hell happened in there?

Why are you suddenly
in such a rush?

You said we'd be out
in five minutes, Mac.

That was before you joined us.

And Erin's three drinks.

Guess who I saw in there, KJ.

You.

Big whoop, Erin. We all did.

Yeah. But...

I know something
that you don't know.

Shut up, right now.

Geez. All I was gonna say

that I saw that guy Rick
talking about you.

I don't give a sh*t about Rick.

Why are you being such
an assh*le right now?!

What did you just call me?

She's not wrong.

Whoa, whoa, chill out.

- Don't you f*cking touch me!
- All right,

- just stop it!
- What the f*ck is your problem?

KJ!

What the f*ck, KJ?!

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

You psycho!

You know what?!

I've had it with this sh*t!

You guys all blame me

because you think you know
better and that you know

what you're doing!

But you guys are all just stupid
little helpless children!

- Tiffany.
- Tiffany.

Where are you going?

What the f*ck is this now?

Who's she calling?

Hopefully the cops

so they can arrest
this f*cking psycho over here.

You know what to do.

Hi.

I'm looking for Tiffany Quilkin.

I don't know if this is
the right Tiffany,

but the one I'm looking for
was born on November 7, 1975.

Your mom's nickname for you
is Tiffan-E=MC2

because Einstein is your hero.

Oh, and you also have
a birthmark

on your right butt cheek.

If this is you...

I could really use
your help right now.

Hello?