01x03 - Notting Hill

[bunniefuu]

This phone thing's got him spooked.

And Felim accounts for

over half the desk profit.

Look, I'm hoping we're

not ruining a friendship

over miscommunication.

FELIM BICHAN: Do you even

remember what you said?

- This stays between us, okay?

- Mm-hmm.

("INDUSTRY" THEME PLAYS)

Why are women so much

more interesting to men

than men are to women?

What she say? Let me see!

It's none of your business.

SARA DHADWAL: Your team's being

subsumed into the other sector teams.

- GUS SACKEY: Where?

- CPS Desk.

(WHISTLES)

MAXIM ALONSO: I can't believe I didn't

know you were at Pierpoint.

We're in the same part of the business.

See, the problem with

this, they keep hiring

these f*ckin' princesses.

Hey, buddy. Don't talk to her like that.

If you ever need a place to

stay, I have a spare room.

Really? I would love that.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES)

(EXHALES)

- (RATTLING)

- (GRUNTS SOFTLY)

- (SIGHS)

- YASMIN KARA-HANANI: Harper? You awake?

Maybe you should ask Greg for a coffee?

Maybe Greg should ask me for a coffee.

(YASMIN CHUCKLES)

- Can we talk money again?

- (YASMIN SIGHS)

Honestly, Harper, it would

make me feel uncomfortable

to charge you to live

in my parents' house.

Yeah, okay, but like, do you

rent this part off of them?

- Well, um

- (DOOR CLATTERING)

Oh, f*cking hell.

Choon! Such a choon.

("AURA" BY BICEP PLAYING ON PHONE)

We should k*ll the

business and just, like,

follow Bicep around Europe.

Think how purely happy we'd be.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Oh, God. You're a f*cking mess.

DIGDOG: Yas, have you got any lollipops?

No. No, I don't have

any lollipops, Digdog.

- Are you gonna go to work today?

- Nah, we just, um

- We just picked up another bag, so

- Right.

Alexa, play Digdog's ketty mix.

("S CLUB PARTY" BY S CLUB 7 PLAYS)

There ain't no party

Like an S Club party ♪

So, are all British guys

pathological drug addicts?

- DIGDOG: You get one bag

- He gets led astray.

This is gonna be a two-bag affair.

Shall we go earn some money?

- YASMIN: So, Greg

- HARPER STERN: So, rent?

Honestly, if it means that much to you,

just buy something nice for the kitchen.

I don't think I even know what

belongs in a kitchen like that.

It's just a kitchen.

Yeah, but it's, like a kitchen.

(SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING)

I still keep getting that

feeling whenever I wake up,

like, I don't know, like I

can't believe that I'm here.

You okay?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

MAN: I'm getting to an age where

my hangovers are no longer

charming, I'm thinking

What's going on? Why're

there so many people here?

Felim stopped trading with us.

According to Eric, he

"stepped away from the market

for personal reasons."

I wanna bang the drum this morning.

Rishi and the traders will

be in shortly with their axes.

Double sales credits to anyone

who fills them this month.

Our worldview today

is what we own and what our traders own.

Is there any more color

on Felim's departure?

Well, he he's been having

trouble with trading lines

and some protracted legal issues.

Is it temporary or permanent?

I (SCOFFS) We we'll have to see.

DARIA GREENOCK: It's just

that 60 percent of the P and L

feels like a pretty big iceberg to me.

Well (CHUCKLES) The

lights are still on, Daria.

SARA DHADWAL: Let's make

sure we keep it that way.

- ERIC TAO: Good morning.

- Eric.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

We need to be sharper at

packaging trading strategies

across asset classes.

High-margin, multi-asset plays, please.

If our guys don't have conviction,

it's because we're not being convincing.

Simple as that.

RISHI RAMDANI: Morning, kids.

Eric.

Sara. So.

We've got some mid-market

offers on some corporate bonds.

I would love them to

be moved this morning.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (TELEPHONE RINGING)

I know this might sound crazy,

but I think that we could play

another slowdown in housing.

And why should I listen to a grad?

The housing market's a

canary in a coal mine.

You don't don't say

"canary in a coal mine."

You sound like a f*cking

financial journalist.

What's the play?

Um, well, obviously

gold, maybe a call option.

That's vanilla.

- Work on a pitch and we'll talk later.

- HARPER: Yeah, thank you.

- Is that it?

- Yeah, thanks.

ERIC: Rish, I'm calling

Arbitrage Andy, the permabear.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (TELEPHONE RINGING)

Eric, what do you want me on?

RISHI: Ah, mate, are you

serious with this price?

Do you know the difference

between racing green

and studio green?

Buddy, you are in my personal space.

What did you study?

Literae Humaniores.

(TELEPHONES RINGING)

Classics.

(LAUGHS) How the f*ck

did you end up in a bank?

- Only in England.

- (MAN CHUCKLING)

ERIC: I've told Clement

to look after you.

GREG GRAYSON: Harper. Yo.

HARPER: Greg?

I'm on the ninth stage of the journey.

The hero faces the

greatest challenge yet,

and experiences death and rebirth.

I'm paraphrasing.

It's pretty cool, right?

RISHI: I'm not f*cking

filling you there.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

RISHI: Hello, Marty?

Yeah. Take the orders.

Yeah. Who?

Jack Blackburn. Ye Yeah,

he's a limp-d*ck analyst, but

I can't believe he's actually

reading a physical copy.

RISHI: He has a view, of course

Mate, he used to get twatted

with Michael Lewis at Salomon.

GUS SACKEY: So he was

a big deal in the '90s?

Wow.

RISHI: Yeah, if he's telling

me to sell Okay, fine.

- (TELEPHONE RINGING)

- RISHI: No, I didn't say that.

I said, if his balls are

out, his balls are out.

I don't wanna see anything

else apart from his balls.

GREG: Yeah, Hawksmoor with him

and three of my best punters

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- Come on.

- No Mate.

- (TELEPHONE RINGS)

- (CHATTER CONTINUES)

I was going to send the Asia stuff

to Karl at Goliath,

um, but I wasn't sure if it was

okay coming directly from me,

or if you wanted to be CCed in, or

KENNY KILBANE: Take the initiative.

JACKIE WALSH: No, I mean

like a thick mainline vein

running down his cock

We haven't done "Yasmin's

Trading Idea" in a while, um

I've been putting together

this long dollar idea

Look, I should apologize.

That whole "Trade Idea" exercise

It was unfair of me to

put that pressure on you

when you're not ready.

Truth is, nobody's gonna

take your ideas seriously

for a few years. So

Just nail the small stuff. Yeah?

- JACKIE: This is bullshit.

- Okay.

JACKIE: The research is fundamental

- (TELEPHONE RINGS)

- JACKIE: Must be horseshit.

It was good to clear the air, though.

Yeah.

JACKIE: Once again, you've

wasted my time. Goodbye.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

How did you two find each other?

Uh, university. Oxford.

I mean social circles.

How does an Old Etonian end up pals

- with a lad from the pit?

- (CHUCKLES)

How do you expect to

sell financial products

if you sound like a miner?

GUS: Our college was a melting pot.

- WAITER: Mr. Clement?

- No.

Where did you go?

That's me and our erstwhile premier.

Absolutely cunted.

- Gakked to the gills.

- (BOTH LAUGH)

Reminds me that I used to be beautiful.

Sixteenth of September, 1992.

Black Wednesday. When we left the ERM.

The Exchange Rate Mechanism.

An early dalliance with putting

two fingers up to Europe.

(LAUGHS) Came here, forgot everything.

And that's the way this

business has always worked.

After the crash in '29, they

wallpapered the Union Club

with stock certificates.

You haven't touched your drink, Robert.

We will be seeing Kaspar

Zenden here tomorrow afternoon.

I've built my career

writing Kaspar's business.

Now, he's bringing

along some new lackey,

Usman something.

You two will need to

find a way to occupy him.

With Felim gone, the desk can't afford

to shed any more accounts.

And, gentlemen,

this is an important evening.

Get on the right side of Usman,

and you'll be on the right side of me.

I need to pay Mrs. Wilmslow. Excuse me.

This guy Usman actually runs money.

(SCOFFS) I'll ping him an

intro. What's their mandate?

How do you not know that?

Mate, it's Clement's only client.

Are you deliberately trying

not to impress your boss?

(INDISTINCT OFFICE CHATTER)

Harper, are you a fan

of Japanese whiskey?

My uncle was one of those

older middle-aged white men

who was overly into Japan.

That's usually a euphemism

for, like, an ethno-nonce or

maybe just a real nonce. Anyway,

we had a load of it at his funeral.

- (TELEPHONE RINGS)

- DARIA: Hello?

I mean, the irony was that

he was actually abused,

he wasn't the abuser. (CHUCKLES)

- I cannot believe you left me last night.

- What are you talking about?

I presume I should

bring a bottle tonight?

Tonight?

Yasmin's dinner.

I am coming as a sort of

pastoral figure, right?

Like, um, advisor to

the youth. Youth advisor.

- DARIA: (LAUGHS) I know!

- It's the only evening I can do.

- Yeah. No, no. That's great.

- Okay, cool.

DARIA: I told him to f*ck

off in perfect Russian.

- All right, bitch, I'll see you next week.

- (CHUCKLES)

Someone should tell

her they monitor those.

- Yep.

- GREG: Yeah.

Always a pleasure, Daria.

Greg.

Shut up.

(GRUNTING)

("HEAT RISES" BY NILÜFER

YANYA PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)

What a mess I'll

Mess I'll be ♪

What a mess I'll ♪

(PANTING)

Getting high

Just from the heat ♪

It could be a while

Until we meet ♪

Simple thing

To be wasting on you ♪

Simple thing to be wasting ♪

Getting high

Just from the heat ♪

I'll be cross until we meet ♪

You all right?

I'll break gloves

Till they bring me to you ♪

(BEEPING)

(PANTING)

And what a mess I'll

Mess I'll be ♪

What a mess I'll

Mess I'll be ♪

What a mess I'll

Mess I'll be ♪

What a mess I'll ♪

And what a mess I'll ♪

- (MUSIC STOPS)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Mate, of course I'm chasing tonight.

I'll only look like this once.

And by "this," I mean gorgeous.

Nah. I'm moving sides tonight.

Your loss, buddy. Peace.

Oi, follicles

The loo's out of order. Again.

The smell.

Honestly, I cannot believe

that came out of a woman.

(SNORTS)

DARIA: I need a favor.

Seaweed.

Thanks. sh**t.

So, uh, Aubrey from Allerton

is coming in tomorrow,

and I need a pack put together.

Just boring data entry, I'm afraid.

How often they've been trading,

what volume, which asset class.

Needs to go back the last three years.

I I know it's not

the sexiest of work,

but you'd be getting me out of a hole.

And we can meet with Aubrey together.

That'd be great.

Yeah, just send over the

info, and I'll get right on it.

Great, thank you. Appreciate you.

RISHI: I am the marketing

man. All the flow is me.

So, these will be 55 pounds.

Are you joking?

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors closing.

Lift going up.

Are they for Greg?

You know,

you don't have to jump on the first guy

- who sits next to you.

- I am hardly jumping on him.

Well, do you like him?

I've never really dated a white guy.

- AUTOMATED VOICE: Floor eight.

- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

So, why would you start with someone

- who's effectively your boss?

- He's not my boss.

Well, he's your superior.

(LAUGHS)

Why not just act like a normal person

and f*ck a load of

strangers via technology?

The apps make me hate myself.

Every time I get a match,

it's with some guy at a wedding,

or a Chad who's "into biracial chicks."

ROBERT SPEARING: Right. I've got

loads of dating profiles. Look.

- Tory Robert.

- Wow.

See, every day,

I match with about a

million different variations

of the same girl called

Portia who works in PR.

Or

Ketty Bob.

Loves talking about how hungover he is

and pretends he voted for Corbyn.

It kind of works on, like,

flighty art types who always

have a "guy taken too young"

on their Instagram.

Mmm.

(CHUCKLES) Come on, hey.

Oh, you know, these girls, right?

They always have some gorgeous guy

who d*ed in his early

twenties by, you know,

su1c1de, car crash, whatever.

And every year, they just

wheel him out for the likes.

Ketty Bob obliges.

This screams insecurity.

All right, good one. Give me your login.

(LAUGHS) No.

ROBERT: Give me five pictures

where you're not smiling.

- What's wrong with my smile?

- Well, it's too sweet.

How do you even have the time?

Has Gus muscled in already?

GUS: Sorry, I'm not sure

I can help with that.

ROBERT: Inevitably.

RISHI: Biggest ass in

the league since Joe Cole.

If you bet on Liverpool at home,

they're only, like, 1.2, 1.3,

- but, mate, it's free money.

- HARPER: Username is my email.

Password is "password" without the P.

- Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

RISHI: It's printing money.

Just size up on the bet.

Harper, what's the ETA on the pack?

Not long. Getting there.

(CHUCKLES) Is that how far you've got?

Um, I'm just working

on this pitch for Eric,

but I think it could be

commercial for the desk.

Okay, but I need to review it

before the meeting tomorrow.

Can you get it to me

before the end of the day?

If you can't, just say. I mean,

we'll we'll work it out.

Yeah, hundred percent.

Great, thank you. But

don't k*ll yourself, okay?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (TELEPHONES RINGING)

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)

(PHONE BUZZES)

(CHUCKLES)

- (LOUDLY) You're up!

- Oh.

- ERIC: Is that your trade idea?

- Yeah. Yeah, sure. Um

Just

Um

So, I'm thinking that

we express the view

- via the Homebuilders sub-index.

- Is this all you've done?

I didn't know that you were

expecting it finished by

I expect you to have

expectations of yourself.

Yeah. Sorry. Daria needed me to prep

some decks for her

Allerton meeting tomorrow,

and it just sort of

took over. (CHUCKLING)

She wanted me to sit in

that meeting with her,

so I thought that that was

a great opportunity for

Okay, here here's how it's gonna go.

You're gonna pitch me this

again in the morning meeting.

And it's gonna be the

version I asked for.

In front of the entire team?

In front of the entire team.

Be like a priest at the pulpit.

Clarity

and conviction.

Is that, like, a punishment?

Or an opportunity. It's up to you.

Don't don't make me feel

like I'm not special, Harpsicord.

I'm starting to feel that way.

("FLAWS AND ALL" BY EBENEZER PLAYING)

(PHONE BUZZES)

I wanna say I do

But I don't ♪

I wanna say I will

But I know I won't ♪

(SONG CONTINUES ON SPEAKERS)

(THEO AND GUS LAUGHING)

Loving you ain't easy but

I still do it regardless ♪

You know that Ben James

runs club nights now?

What else do you do with

a 2:2 in Modern Languages?

(LAUGHS) Yeah, well, it

looks aggressively h*m*.

It's tomorrow. D'you fancy it?

GUS: Uh, I didn't get an invite.

Not on a school night, mate.

Um, I should go. I'll

see you tomorrow, yeah?

Even with your flaws and all ♪

See you, Rob.

Yeah, you still the one ♪

ROBERT: Why is he always so miserable

- after you've made him come?

- (SCOFFS)

ROBERT: Listen, mate,

are you sure that you

know what you're doing?

Because I can see it, and

I'm not sure that you can.

GUS: Are you only reading that now?

But you played games ♪

I'm already in a dialogue with Usman.

I'm working on a pitch with Theo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah

You said it yourself ♪

(SCOFFS)

You said it yourself ♪

I wanna say I do

But I don't ♪

I wanna say I will

But I know I won't ♪

Loving you ain't easy

But I still do it regardless ♪

(PHONE BUZZES)

But I still do it regardless ♪

Wanna say I can

But I can't ♪

I really wanna give us

A second chance ♪

'Cause loving you ain't easy

But I still do it regardless ♪

Even with your flaws and all ♪

SEB OLDROYD: I hope I can

keep this down after today.

YASMIN: You'd better.

So, um, we're launching sub-sites

for Brown, Princeton, and Harvard.

- HARPER: Hi! So sorry I'm late.

- Oh, wow. Hey!

- HARPER: Hi.

- SEB: Hey.

YASMIN: Finally.

And, uh, we're setting

up an office in New York.

- HARPER: I'm so sorry.

- YASMIN: It's fine.

I've told him I'm not built for

a long-distance relationship.

- (BOTH LAUGH)

- So

- GREG: Hey.

- Hey.

Don't worry, I'm only here to be fed.

(LAUGHS) No. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

GREG: So, how do you

actually make money?

I know that's a naff thing to say,

but the idea of people

actually making money

doing something they love

- fills me with pain, so

- (HARPER LAUGHS)

Just traditional

revenue streams, really.

Um, things like targeted advertising.

- GREG: Cool.

- Stuff like that.

Okay, so I have a problem

with these algorithms.

- I'll be watching Tr*mp, right?

- (YASMIN GROANS)

And then I'm pushed towards some

red pill "menimism" where before

I know it, it's like 4:00 a.m.

and I've been watching seven hours of

what can only be described

as anti-Semitic propaganda.

Okay, well, you are clicking it,

so that is what the

internet thinks that you are.

- True, I had a great time. I loved it.

- That's how that works.

- Speaking of which, whoopee-do!

- Oh.

Oh, my God. Is this really

called "Black Nikka"?

- (LAUGHS)

- YASMIN: Wha

GREG: I never really thought about that.

It's it's two Ks, not two Gs.

- You swing and a miss, buddy.

- (PHONE BUZZES)

Now I feel like the ethno-nonce.

Yeah, you should. You should.

SEB: So, what was

holding you up, anyway?

No. No. We're not talking

about work. (LAUGHS)

GREG: So how do I actually eat

this? I don't want to offend

any more cultures than I already have.

- Bang it all in the one bowl.

- (LAUGHS) Okay.

What's that?

It's just Rob being

an assh*le. (CHUCKLES)

GREG: So, Eric's sucked

you into his vortex?

No, he just, um

Uh, he wants me to pitch an

idea in the meeting tomorrow.

- Whoa!

- Cool.

HARPER: Thank you.

GREG: Wonder what

Daria thinks about that.

That's amazing.

That CPS lets your pitch at your level.

Thanks. (CHUCKLES)

Eech!

So, you know how all those

houses in London sit empty?

- (LAUGHS)

- I went as a kid, and

Am I being paranoid,

or did Harper's trade idea

sound like a veiled swipe

at my parents' financial situation?

"Non-dom tax exiles buying

up properties," I mean.

SEB: I dunno, you know.

I checked out when Greg

started talking about

- taking equity out of his flat.

- (CHUCKLES)

Why is that guy hanging out with us?

There is no way, no way, she likes him.

- She does.

- Really?

Have you asked her?

'Cause he just followed me to the toilet

and offered me acid.

- What?

- SEB: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

YASMIN: It's a Tuesday.

(HARPER AND GREG CHATTING INDISTINCTLY)

I cannot believe Eric lets

her speak in their meetings.

Right, you invited her to live here,

so you can't start doing that.

All I'm saying is we should

probably make her feel

comfortable 'cause this is obviously

a bit of a culture shock.

All I am doing is making

her feel comfortable!

(CHUCKLES) Yes, you

are. Of course you are.

No one else could do what I

do. I'm a f*cking magician.

- (CHUCKLES)

- I am.

SEB: I know you are.

GREG: The guy, uh, went

on to be a grant-giver

to a lot of, uh, British public schools.

So that doesn't surprise me

- (YASMIN MOANS SOFTLY)

- (SEB GRUNTS)

(HARPER AND GREG CONTINUE CHATTING)

(EXHALES) f*ck.

(MOANS)

Are you gonna dry dishes with that hand?

(GROANS)

sh*t, I'm sorry.

Sorry.

HARPER: And this is my room.

- The small one. (CHUCKLES)

- GREG: Nice!

- Is that Yasmin? (LAUGHS)

- Oh, I have no idea.

This is gonna sound really weird

and a little bit cruel, but

I feel like I'm really only

doing this to placate Yasmin.

Yes. (CHUCKLES)

Totally.

But I thought you wanted me to come.

No, yeah. I did, I did. I just, um

Yeah.

It's messy.

Same desk.

- I'm old as f*ck.

- (LAUGHS)

Yeah, the truth is that, um

I have nothing better to do.

Is that really unattractive?

Does that make me

- really unattractive?

- No, you are attractive, Greg.

(GREG CHUCKLES)

I really should be working on that

- pitch, anyway, so

- Yeah.

(QUIET ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Yeah. Uh-huh, thank her for dinner.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Okay. Before we go,

is there anything else?

Let's wrap it up.

I've actually worked

on a special product

that we could be making

some noise with today.

THEO: Do we have time for a grad pitch?

ERIC: Go ahead.

So, I'm pitching a hedge

on the housing market.

Uh, okay, any analogy with

the mid-noughties cycle,

subprime, it wouldn't work.

Less overbuilding,

less borrowing against

existing home values

Well, don't you think the

Homebuilder stocks are

looking a little toppy?

That's not our house view.

HARPER: The house view's consensual.

Counter-consensus is where we live.

Keep talking.

Initially, I was thinking

some puts on the S&P,

maybe linked to a call on gold.

But maybe something

more housing specific.

With the labor market going

gangbusters like it is?

It really doesn't make sense.

Let her let her finish.

So

The product I have

the traders looking at

includes a put option

on the Homebuilders index

and a call option on gold.

And a sweet kicker,

credit default swaps on

the Homebuilders, too.

It's the ultimate hedge

in a tidy suite for client convenience

at margins big enough to

pay us while they own it.

The spreads are gonna be wide

enough to drive a bus through.

That's our bread and butter.

We get paid, no matter what plays out.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I want you putting that

in front of Allerton.

You're seeing Aubrey today, aren't you?

Um

Aubrey's been inactive for too long.

Daria's She's got her

She's got her own way of doing

things, but it's time wasted.

I don't want to step on her toes.

Her toes are the last thing

you'll be thinking about on RIF.

Just tell me what the appetite's like.

I'll think about putting

it in front of my guys.

Okay.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- I'll get the next one.

- YASMIN: What's this?

That's a new fund out of

Brevan. Just more noise.

JACKIE: disgusting pastries. And

by "disgusting," I mean they're great.

Swaps, futures, ETFs

So, I know that we said we were

scrapping Yasmin's Trade Idea,

but I was talking to

Harper from Cross Product,

and she was telling me

that she has this pitch

she's putting together

on the housing market

Eric has his way of doing

things, we have ours, okay?

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Okay. I just really think

that with a minor spin

this could be interesting for us.

Harper said last night

that Daria's putting her into

a meeting with Aubrey Lewis

- from Allerton this afternoon

- Aubrey's in the building today?

Yeah.

What the fu Come with me.

Daria.

My grad tells me you have a meeting with

- Aubrey Lewis this afternoon?

- DARIA: Yeah, that's right.

Allerton is dual-coverage.

Someone should have told me.

Sorry, can you remind me who you are?

(CHUCKLES) I'm joking, Kenny.

We're not discussing FX business.

All right, w well, I

still think we should be

- a bit more coordinated.

- Aubrey does most

of his business through this desk.

Okay, fine, but Yas

Yasmin has formulated

an interesting play

on the housing market,

and I would like her in there

to gauge the temperature.

DARIA: (SCOFFS) I don't want

grads pitching in my meeting.

Not pitching. No. Just observing.

(SIGHS) Okay. Sure, fine.

Meeting's at 3:00.

Much appreciated.

You sit in. You keep quiet.

Note down every single

thing that's said.

I don't f*ckin' believe that woman.

He's meant to be an FX account.

CPS have f*cking poached him.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (TELEPHONE RINGING)

- (AUBREY LEWIS CHUCKLES)

- Does does your wife

not get irritated when

you don't come to bed?

Yeah, but she gets me back

by keeping me up all night.

- Sleep apnea.

- Have you tried hot yoga?

Is that the same as Bikram?

Strikes me as unhygienic.

Yes, they had to change the name

because of his sexual misconduct.

Ah, well, you've gotta be

careful whenever there's

a room of people really

listening to a man.

It all leads back to the

same thing. (CHUCKLES)

So, I've had some thoughts

about how you're positioned.

You know me, Daria. Wouldn't

know the sky was blue

if you didn't bring me a color chart.

Do you have any tail-risk hedges on?

I would advise against.

It's not the Pierpoint house view.

Isn't there merit in at least exploring

some kind of insurance?

Sometimes, yes,

- but all things being

- I've been working on a hedge

- on the housing market that I

- (CLEARS THROAT)

Yes?

YASMIN: Nothing, nothing, sorry.

I just thought Daria would

prefer to lead on this one.

(CHUCKLING)

Okay. But this is a CPS meeting,

and you're here to observe, so

Ladies, you know I'm

all ears for new ideas,

but let's not discuss

them on Aubrey's time.

Okay?

So, as I was saying, I've been

talking to some of the analysts,

and I think we should discuss

the dollar-sterling cable opportunity.

I mean, we expect the dollar

to rally against the pound.

- (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

MAN: Look, I'm getting

frustrated, Chase

Grand slam?

Yeah, I think it went well.

Well, did did he buy it or not?

I didn't There wasn't really

enough time to get into

ERIC: Not enough time? You

were in there forty minutes.

So So why am I

sending you into meetings?

Respectfully, Eric, I

brought her into the meeting.

Aubrey's been my client for three years.

I know his needs.

With what he pays, his needs

are subordinate to mine.

Again, respectfully, I have to disagree.

Harper had the balls to work

on something that was cogent

and commercial enough to

be put in front of clients.

We reward her. That's the system.

And if you'd asked me about

it, I could've provided you

with a list of more suitable clients.

I'd appreciate not being ambushed.

Jesus Christ, you want to make MD early,

and I still have to

hold your f*cking hand?

No, that's not what I said.

I'm just saying a level of

respect in the workplace isn't

ERIC: And what the f*ck were you doing,

taking FX in there with you?

She's a grad, Eric. It

was It was a favor.

Can you tell me the yield

you get out of that account

versus the hours you put in?

'Cause this isn't a f*cking social club.

If you're gonna spend time stroking

these clueless f*cking chinless

country club f*cking Henrys,

I want to see it in dollars.

It's f*cking pathetic otherwise.

Okay.

What's our number?

(OFFICE CHATTER QUIETS)

What is our desk's budget for the year?

How does nobody know

that f*cking number?

I go to bed with that number!

- (TELEPHONE RINGING)

- (REPORTER SPEAKING ON TV)

We owe our clients nothing.

We have no fiduciary responsibility.

We're advisors, we are facilitators,

first and foremost.

You can't f*cking facilitate nothing.

Daria should f*cking know that.

(CHATTER RESUMES)

Sit at your desk and call

Allerton every twenty minutes

till Aubrey's back at the office.

Do not leave the floor

until he's heard you out.

And if he doesn't want

us to write his business,

any f*cking business,

I want him pulled off every

distribution list he's on.

RISHI: Because I hate to

brag, but I've come in again.

(CHATTER CONTINUES)

CLEMENT COWAN: You

know what I say, Kaspar.

One meeting with management

Is worth a thousand research reports.

- (LAUGHS)

- It's good to know I'm valued, then.

Nobody's gonna tell

you they love you, Theo.

(LAUGHTER)

It's not like people pay for research.

No, that's exactly what we pay for.

- WAITER: Wine, sir?

- Not for me, thank you.

Are you sure we can't tempt you?

I don't drink.

Hi, this is Harper Stern

from Pierpoint again

RECEPTIONIST: Hello again.

Is it Aubrey you're after?

Is he back?

- Um, just now, but he might be

- I'll hold. I'll hold.

ERIC: Hey, Dar.

We're having the den redone.

Can you Can you lend

that world-class eye again?

Yeah, let me see.

ERIC: Well, we agreed on green.

AUBREY: (ON PHONE) Hello? Harper, Hello?

Hi, Aubrey. It's Harper from Pierpoint.

AUBREY: Yeah, what can I do for you?

- ERIC: It's two greens

- Eric asked me to call you.

I have an interesting counter

to your current exposure.

The analysts think that

equities will continue to rally,

but I think that there

is some risk in that view.

I think that housing is rolling over.

AUBREY: So, what are you offering me?

It's a combination of

puts, calls, and CDS

packaged in an elegant, cheap suite.

AUBREY: No, I don't trade CDS.

Why?

AUBREY: I don't trade

products I don't understand.

Well, these are packaged

in a digestible way.

You don't need to understand

the product, just the payout.

AUBREY: No, incorrect.

From tulip bulbs to CDOs,

newness has always

been a dangerous sign.

I'm not one of those market participants

who trades in the dark.

Trust me. These products aren't new.

AUBREY: Unfortunately,

I only trust myself,

but I almost trust Daria,

after three full years.

Is there anything else?

Harper?

Yeah, Aubrey, while I

have you on the phone,

do you wanna do that cable idea

that Daria was talking

about at the meet?

AUBREY: Sure. That's

transparent enough for me.

Make me a price in fifty dollars?

Twenty/thirty?

AUBREY: Thirty. Fifty dollars.

Okay, so just to

confirm, you're 50 at 30.

AUBREY: Yeah, I'm in a bit of

a hurry, but that sounds great.

Thanks for your time.

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

Sounded like something.

Yeah, he's gonna think about

it, but I managed to get him to

trade some FX now. Fifty cable.

Did Did he sell?

No, he bought it.

With sterling where it is?

Yes.

Thank you.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

- (ELEVATOR DINGS)

- YASMIN: Hi.

- Long day.

- AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors closing.

Doors closing.

Lift going down.

Just an FYI, ladies.

It's cute that you're living together,

but keep it professional at work.

Understood.

Really sorry. It won't happen again.

- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

- AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors opening.

I mean, since Google went public in '04,

earnings are up a hundredfold,

the price is up tenfold.

Yeah, see, that's real

underlying business change.

You two must have been

at school together.

Uh, yeah, I was, uh, two years above.

Same house.

Was he your f*g?

THEO: Um

I think that was abolished in the '90s.

Well, the Old Etonians'

capacity for debate

- continues to ruin the country.

- (ALL CHUCKLING)

Oh, sh*t. I've done it again.

How about a change of scenery?

- I feel sufficiently lubricated.

- Good.

Fine to settle?

Annabel's is calling.

KASPAR ZENDEN: Let's go and

pay some women to talk to us.

("WITCH DOCTOR" BY CRAZY P PLAYING)

USMAN ABBOUD: Malbec. Good choice.

My job's easier if Kaspar

thinks I'm conservative.

Shall we have one in Nobu?

It's only around the corner.

Excuse me, guys.

- Usman, very good to meet you.

- And you.

You know, Kaspar always said

my, uh, best business instinct

is my curiosity.

Have you ever been to Sweat Prom?

(MUSIC CONTINUES OVER SPEAKERS)

Our mission tonight

is to get Gus pregnant.

- Where do they go to f*ck?

- What?

You know, when they want to go f*ck?

Ah, he wants to know

where the dark room is.

Why you asking me?

Well, don't they build all

these places to standard?

Oi, Ben!

(CHUCKLES) Look at you.

You all right, Rogers?

You well? This is all right, innit?

("WISH YOU CALLED" BY SWAN

LINGO PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS)

(PHONE BUZZES)

I wish that I

Could see you now ♪

Wish you called any day ♪

Nevermore, no, no, no ♪

Later on, later on ♪

Pass it on the way ♪

See you waiting for yourself ♪

Everything ♪

- (MUSIC STOPS)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Harper?

- Hey, yeah.

- Hey. Will.

- Will, hi.

- If you hadn't guessed.

- (LAUGHS)

- How's it going?

- Jesus, sorry.

- Whoa, good start.

- Sorry.

- It's okay. (LAUGHS)

WILL HUNT: I was hawking

university application packages.

It's kind of like a "getting

into uni" consultant.

Everyone I worked with, every

single one of them, moron.

So, I'd have this call list,

Notting Hill, Kensington,

Chelsea numbers, that sort of thing,

And as soon as somebody

picked up, you'd be like,

"Have you started thinking about

university preparation yet?"

Get the fear in them early, you know.

How old are the kids?

Like 13, 14?

No f*cking way. What do you

talk to a 14-year-old about?

- p*ssy, mostly. Yeah.

- (LAUGHS)

The boys are always telling

me what they wank to.

It is weird. It is weird.

But I just nod along.

"Oh, okay, mate, sure."

HARPER: Kylie or Kendall?

WOMAN: Yeah, the dickhead didn't show.

WILL: Um Uh

Do you know her?

Why would I know her?

You just strike me as the kind of guy

who would arrange a

multiple-choice date.

That would be sociopathic. (CHUCKLES)

William Hunt.

- Mmm.

- "Will hunt."

Is that, like, a name or an M.O.?

Mmm. This dog will hunt.

- That's literally horrible.

- I felt bad saying it.

(HARPER LAUGHS)

What do you think the record is

for the least amount of words

spoken at one of these before

Before what?

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

- I haven't showered.

- HARPER: I don't want you to.

WILL: Okay.

(PANTS, MOANS)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

(SIGHS)

- (MOANS) Do you have a condom?

- Yeah.

Okay, get it.

Ah, an uncut d*ck.

(CHUCKLES)

I feel like I'm in a

Richard Curtis movie.

(WILL EXHALES)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(GIGGLES)

(PANTING) Yes

(GASPS)

(MOANING)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

- (WILL BREATHING HEAVILY)

- (HARPER MOANING)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

(CLEARS THROAT)

("FEARING LOVE" BY SERGE DEVANT PLAYING)

I always think of you, baby ♪

You, baby ♪

And when the fire's

Burning out ♪

It's always

Back in you, honey ♪

You, honey ♪

You got me going

Round and round ♪

To get away from you, baby ♪

You, baby ♪

And when the stars

Are coming out ♪

ROBERT: (LAUGHS) Whoo! Yeah!

You, honey ♪

(CHEERING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Whoo!

I have to go. You gonna be okay?

Get him anything he wants.

As long as he's alive in

the morning, we're good.

Mwah.

(LAUGHS)

Mate!

GUS: Clapham. Can you go to Clapham?

Mate, don't go to Clapham.

All right? Never go to f*cking Clapham.

Let's just go home.

GUS: Go and secure the client.

That's what Clement would want.

Can you take us to Finsbury Park?

- DRIVER: Yeah, jump in.

- Stay.

Clapham, please, mate.

DRIVER: No worries.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(LOCK RATTLES)

(SIGHS, WHISPERS) What

the f*ck? Dude, look.

You cannot just show up

here. Okay? Alice is here.

Is she asleep?

- Come on, let me in.

- Just go home. We'll talk about it tomorrow

GUS: We're friends. Just let me in.

- f*cking stop pushing me.

- GUS: What you doing?

THEO: Mate. Shut up! Shh.

(BOTH WHISPERING)

- Ooh! (LAUGHS LOUDLY)

- Shut up. Shut the f*ck up.

(WHISPERING) Shut the f*ck up.

Stop. Okay, stop.

(BOTH PANTING)

(UNZIPS FLY)

(MOANS)

(GUS SIGHS)

(THEO MOANING, PANTING)

(LAUGHS)

(WHISPERING) Shut the f*ck up.

You'll wake her.

(MOANS)

(PANTING)

(MOANS)

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

HARPER: So do you

seriously always chew gum

while you're having sex?

- WILL: Yeah, I mean

- HARPER: I didn't even notice.

- I just, um, I've always got gum

- Do you want this?

- Yeah, I do. I really do.

- Don't tell anyone. (LAUGHS)

- Prefer it to staging a robbery.

- (LAUGHING) Oh, my God.

YASMIN: Hey.

- Oh. Sorry, I, um

- (CHUCKLES)

I thought you went to bed.

Oh, yeah, no, I'm just trying to unwind.

This is Will. But he's

just leaving, so

Really, uh, wicked place.

- Thanks.

- Thank you.

- D'you Go ahead.

- Yeah, sure.

(DOOR OPENS)

Uh, so, thanks for that and that.

HARPER: Right, yeah, of

course. See you about. Yeah.

- Bye.

- Bye.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SIGHS)

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Is that a performance bonus?

Oh, I think it was an

attempt at chivalry.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

- You want some?

- Okay. (LAUGHS)

I genuinely thought that

was Seb for a second.

That's why I chose him.

Listen.

I think if you want to pay

rent, then you should pay rent.

I think that's a really good idea.

YASMIN: Is 3K fair? It

is Notting Hill, so

HARPER: We can figure something out.

(YASMIN CHUCKLES)

("WISH YOU CALLED" BY SWAN LINGO PLAYING)

I wish that I

Could see you now ♪

Wish you called any day ♪

Nevermore, no, no, no ♪

Later on, later on ♪

Pass it on the way ♪

See you waiting for yourself ♪

Everything that you need ♪

You're the captain

Build away ♪

Don't hold me ♪

Some things

You want from me ♪

I can't, I can't

Be everything ♪

Some things

You want from me ♪

I can't, I can't

Be everything ♪

I, I won't

Fulfill your every need ♪

(SONG CONCLUDES)

What's it really like, being

a woman in this environment?

Not so much as being a man. (CHUCKLES)

And there's always banter.

Banter? Sounds like a euphemism.

Well, you have to have a sense of humor.

This is clearly a brain-fry,

um, I must've mis-booked it.

YASMIN KARA-HANANI: You

come here because it's one

of the fewer places where

nobody cares where you're from.

ROBERT SPEARING: You risk your

job if you don't come clean.

No, no. I'm not allowed

to make any mistakes.

ERIC TAO: So you lied to me?

HARPER STERN: Well, is it illegal?

(FIRE ALARM BLARES)

There are many potential

role models here.

You can be one of them.

(INHALES, CLEARS THROAT)