01x13 - The Stolen Costume

[bunniefuu]

Faster than a speeding b*llet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

- Look. Up in the sky.
-lt's a bird.

- It's a plane.
-lt's Superman.

Yes, it's Superman,
strange visitor from another planet...

...who came to Earth with powers
and abilities...

...far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers...

...bend steel in his bare hands...

...and who. disguised as Clark Kent...

---mild-mannered reporter
for a great metropolitan newspaper.

...fights a never-ending battle for truth,
justice and the American way.

See who it is.

Ace!

I got him. Close the door.

Get a towel.

I got a big deal, Ace.

Big deal.

- Who is he. Ace?
- Two-bit punk. His name's Teaball.

- He's been sh*t.
- So what?

- Does he have to come up here to cash in?
- Big deal.

Superman.

- What's he talking about?
- How should I know?

Ace. look. He said Superman.

This must be Superman's costume.

- Hello. Kent.
- Come in. Candy.

- Sorry to get you in the middle of the night--
- Detectives and doctors get used to that.

- Have a cigarette?
- No. thanks. I don't use them.

- What's the matter? You in trouble?
- Yes. Candy.

Someone broke in here tonight
while I was gone. and they took--

Well. they took something.

- I want to find out who. and get it back.
- Get what back?

- I can't tell you.
- Huh?

- I can't tell you.
- Why not?

I just can't. Candy.
Now. look. I need your help.

Sure. sure. Now. relax. pal.

L've never seen you like this.
Let's start at the beginning.

- Somebody broke in here tonight.
- That's right.

I was at the doctor's office
being examined.

You see. the paper has
a new group insurance plan.

That's why it happened that my...

That's how it happened
that this thing was in the closet.

- What thing?
- I told you. Candy. I can't tell you.

Look.

Let's not waste time
trying to pump me.

- Did you bring your dusting kit?
- Sure. sure.

Come in the bedroom.

Well. what do you know!
A secret closet.

What have you been hiding?
The family jewels?

Something a lot more valuable to me.

- Empty.
- I know. I told you it was stolen.

And I've got to get it back. Candy.
And I've got to find out who the thief is.

How am I gonna look when I don't know
what I’m looking for? What am I. a swami?

- Just find the man who took it.
- What man?

The thief. Look.

If he left his fingerprints.
we might trace him.

- And if you'd just tell me what he stole--
- Candy. Please.

Okay-

We gotta get him out
before the cops show.

If they were gonna show.
they would've been here.

- I think he's coming to again.
- So what? He don't know what he's saying.

Water.

Where'd you get
Superman's costume. Teaball?

He don't know from nothing.

Where'd you get it. Teaball?

Ace will cut me in. huh?

Sure Ace will cut you in.
Tell us where you got it.

Standish Arms Apartments.

Standish Place.

Which apartment was it?
What was the man's name?

Name?

The name of the man in the apartment
where you found Superman's costume.

- Don't know.
- See? Nothing.

Which apartment was it?

Which apartment was it, Teaball?
You know the number. don't you?

Number...

What was it?

Apartment five...

...floor.

Fifth floor?

Why don't you let the poor crumb
die in peace?

Will you shut up? Teaball. listen.

Fifth floor.

Apartment five.

Yeah? Yeah?

Five H...

- He's dead.
- Great.

Now I gotta get rid of a stiff.

Ace. listen. He said apartment H.

Look. Joe? Ace.

Get Vince and come up here right away.

Got a little job for you.

Yeah.

- Ace. maybe this is Superman's outfit.
- Are you off your nut too?

Just because a guy's got a costume hanging
in his closet doesn't mean he's Superman.

- This was in a secret closet. he said so.
- Yeah. sure.

- It don't burn.
- So it's fireproof.

They got ways of making a lot of things
fireproof these days.

You can't cut it, neither.

Look. If this was Superman's costume.
he'd be wearing it, wouldn't he?

Maybe he took it off on account of
he wanted to be the other guy.

- What are you talking about?
- You know.

Everybody figures Superman
is really two guys.

When he isn't being Superman.
he's being the other guy.

Last night, he was being the other guy.

Do you know what this is worth if it's his?

Yeah. Plenty.

- Then what are we waiting for?
- Where you going?

I'm gonna check that apartment at
the Standish Arms and see who lives there.

Oh. Candy. what did you find out?

I found out that the guy that rifled
your closet was Johnny Simms.

A sneak thief.

Age . -foot- . pounds.
brown hair. brown eyes.

Known as “Teaball.“

Twenty-three arrests
and three convictions since .

That's great, Candy.
Can you pick him up for me?

Too late. He's lying down at the morgue.

They picked him up this morning
in a vacant lot with a b*llet in his back.

- Did they find anything on him?
- I don't know.

- You wait here.
- Where you going?

To the morgue.

- Well.
- I dropped my bag.

- Got everything?
- I think so.

- Is Mr. Fuller in?
- Fuller?

- Isn't this apartment H?
- Yeah. but there's no Fuller here.

You mean this isn't
Mr. Fuller's apartment?

No. This is Clark Kent's apartment.

Am I dumb. lt's H.

- Sorry I bothered you, Mr. Kent.
- I’m not--

I guess I need glasses.

The guy's name is Clark Kent.
He's a reporter.

- Yeah.
- He don't look like Superman to me.

I guess with the costume on
he looks different.

Anyway. I checked with the superintendent.
He works for the Daily Planet.

That's the guy. baby.

Every time Superman does something.
It breaks in the Planet first thing.

- We gotta nail it down.
- What do you mean?

Gotta be sure.

But you just said yourself. it adds up.
He's the guy.

We gotta figure this out.

There must be a way.

I got it.

I got it. baby.

Hello?

Yeah. Kent?

Anything at the morgue?

No. I've got to think this out. Candy.

Also. I've got to check in back at my office.

Can you come the apartment
tonight at : ?

Sure thing.

I still don't like the whole idea, Ace.

- I know what I’m doing.
- Supposing he ain't Superman?

It's a m*rder rap.

We can find some other way.

Will you shut up?

You stay here. Anybody comes.
ring the bell three times.

Okay-

Okay. lt's all set.

Now we gotta find out
when he gets back here tonight.

- What for?
- So I can be waiting downstairs...

...when it blows.

What time is it?

Twenty after .

- You called his office at : . didn't you?
- Yeah. and they said he just left.

Well. he ought to be along here soon. then.

There he is.

He don't look like no Superman.

- You sure that's him?
-lt's him.

What's the matter? You got the shakes?

It’ll be all right.

I hope it don't take too long.

Won't take too long
after he opens that closet.

He'll either be dead
or we'll be sitting on top of the world.

- Hello. Candy.
- Hi.

Man. you really look b*at.

lam. I've never felt
like this before in my life.

Well. okay. Let's sit down
and hash this thing out. Come on.

How much longer are we gonna wait?

He's only been up there
a couple of minutes.

- Suppose he don't open the closet?
- He will. when he sees that door's open.

- I don't like this caper. I don't like it a bit.
- Relax, baby. Relax.

For Pete's sake.
stop wearing out the rug.

You're driving yourself nuts and me too.

- Look. Kent. I’m your friend. ain't I?
- Yes.

I'm not hanging around here
just to get a fee. I want to help you.

So let me.

What's this about?
What was swiped out of that closet?

Well--

I can't tell you.

Well. then. how in blazes
do you expect me to help you. Kent?

I guess you can't
help me after all. Candy.

L guess no one can.

- Let's forget it and go get some dinner.
- Okay. Gotta wash my hands.

- Hey. Kent.
- Yes?

Did you leave this closet open?

- Why. no.
- Well. it's open now.

It is?

That's it. Let's get out of here.

Someone planted a b*mb in there.

- It was wired to the panel.
- Great.

Some playful friends you got.

Which one of them wants to
measure you for a harp and wings?

I wish I did.

Look. This time the cops
are gonna ask questions.

- Mind answering a couple for me first?
- No.

Oh. Candy. look.

Keep them out of here until I can
get things cleaned up. will you?

- Nix.
- I want to see if there's a news flash...

...on the expl*si*n. It ought to say
if something happened to Kent.

There's a better way. Get the phone book
and look up Kent's number for me.

Hello?

- Yes. Who's calling. please?
- Can Mr. Kent speak on the phone, please?

- This is Mr. Kent speaking.
-lt's Kent.

You didn't get hurt
or nothing tonight. Kent?

Hurt? No... Who is this?

How would you like to get back what was
stolen out of your secret closet last night?

Yeah. I've got it.

L've got it hidden in a nice place.

If you want to get it back. come over to
West Street. third floor. Come alone.

Well. I’m expecting
some important phone calls.

Why don't you come over here?

Wait a minute.

- He wants us to come over there.
- No.

He won't try nothing.
We got him over a barrel.

Okay. we'll be over in minutes.

- Candy. you'll have to leave.
- Kent. you're crazy.

I'm sorry. I can't help it.
You'll have to leave.

Okay. I’m finished.

Done.

Washed up.

But just remember this.

When you're stretched out in the morgue.
I won't be able to help you.

Good night.

Ace.

- Who are you?
- Me? I’m--

- He's Kent.
- What are you doing here?

Didn't think we were coming?

Some people dropped up the apartment.
I couldn't get rid of them.

Get in the car. We'll go some place else.

- How about your place?
- Why not?

Connie. you drive.

What are we waiting for?
Get down to business.

- Sure.
- Wait a minute.

How come you pack a g*n. Kent?

Well. a reporter sometimes gets himself
in bad spots. Like this one. now.

- Oh. yeah?
- Yeah.

- I ain't so sure.
- What do you mean?

What was swiped out of your closet?

- You know.
- I know. but do you? Give it a name.

Look. we're wasting time.

- Give it a name.
- Let's stop playing games...

...and get down to cases.

Okay. we'll stop playing games.

The b*ll*ts bounced right off him.

Hey. this guy's Superman. Not him.

- Is he dead?
- No. I just knocked him out...

...so he wouldn't hear this.

Now talk and talk fast.

Whom else have you told
and where's my costume?

We ain't told nobody yet.

Just her and me know.

Nobody has to know. if you'll play ball.

- So you want to make a deal?
- Natch.

- Let's sit down and talk turkey.
- I don't make deals.

Save your breath.

Okay. Then we do a little talking.

We tell everyone that Kent is Superman.

Yeah. and that'll put the whammy
on your Superman racket. but good.

You aren't going to tell anybody.

How you gonna stop us?
You won't k*ll us.

Everybody knows Superman
don't k*ll people.

So how you gonna stop us?

It’ll find a way.

You better put some warm clothing on.

We're going places.
You. your girlfriend and I.

There's no way of getting down.
The cabin is comfortable.

It’ll see that you have plenty of wood
to heat it and enough food to eat.

- You're gonna leave us?
- Listen--

Stay here until I can think up another way
to keep you from talking.

- We won't talk. honest.
- I don't believe you.

Didn't we give you back your costume?

We're willing to forget the whole thing.

I can't take the word of
would-be murderers and blackmailers.

It’ll be back soon. Don't try to escape.
Your lives wouldn't be worth a nickel.

-It’ll see you soon.
- Now. wait a minute. Listen.

Don't leave us here. please!

- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know about you...

-...but I’m getting out of here.
- Are you crazy? Look down there.

We can make it.

- No. Ace. I’m afraid.
- You wanna stay here and starve?

- He's gonna bring food.
- Stop kidding yourself.

He ain't gonna bring us nothing.

Now all right. I’m going down. You watch
where I stop and then you follow me.

- No. Ace. I can't.
- You gotta. you hear me? You gotta!

All right. all right.

Come on. lt's a cinch.

Let me get this straight. boy.

You found what you went after.

- That's right.
- And the guy who had it was dead.

The guy and the woman.
They fell off a cliff.

Well. what do know?
They fell off a cliff. did they?

Kent. you must think I’m an awful sap.

- Why. Candy?
- Why. he asks me.

Any minute you'll be trying to tell me
that I’m J. Edgar Hoover...

...and you're Superman.

Could be.

That did it.

Good night, Kent.

So long. Candy.

[ENGLISH]