04x20 - Luv Finds Gomer Pyle

[bunniefuu]

Starring... as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring... as
Sergeant Carter.

♪ ♪

But I thought you
were going with Lee.

You mean I haven't
told you, Molly?

Lee and I aren't seeing
each other anymore.

I felt it was best that way.

But Lee's the captain
of the basketball team.

How can you turn down
practically going steady

with a boy like that?

Let's just say I'm not
ready to settle down

to the responsibilities
of going steady yet.

Gosh, Jill,

when it comes to boys, you
sure know how to play it cool.

I guess the secret is that I
don't really care about boys.

I mean, not really.

I can take 'em or leave 'em.

Oh, me, too.

They positively
don't faze me a bit.

Not a bit.

Look! Look!

Don't look!

That's Paul Conroy,

isn't it? Oh, he's dreamy.

I mean, just dreamy.

He's coming over here.

He's coming right over here.

Oh, I'll die!

I'll absolutely die!

Well, if it isn't Jill Hobson.

Oh, hi, Paul.

Haven't seen you in a long time.

So have you been?

Oh, pretty good.

You? Same old grind.

You know the routine...
Busy, busy, busy.

What are you
doing this afternoon?

Nothing in particular.

Well, then, how
about giving me a hand

with that poli-sci term paper?

Well, gee, my reference
book is at home.

Good. I'll walk
over there with you.

You don't mind, do you?

Oh, no.

Gee, Jill's a real
whiz at poli-sci.

Are you sure you
don't mind, Molly?

Oh, sure, I'm sure.

You go right ahead.

I've got plenty of
things to do; just plenty.

Well, I'll call you later.

Okay. Okay, bye.

Bye.

That'll be 80 cents.

Oh, my gosh!

I don't have any money. Huh?

Well, you see, my
friend who just left

was supposed to
pay for the sodas,

only she was just unexpectedly
called away, and she forgot.

Can I leave
something on account?

My school books
or my wristwatch?

I'll pay tomorrow,
I promise I will.

Well, honey... Oh, sh**t,

you don't have to do that.

Excuse me, but I
couldn't help overhearing.

And I'll be happy to take
care of your bill for you.

You would?

But you don't even know me.

Well, the important thing is

I know how
embarrassing this can be,

'cause it happened to
me once, back in Raleigh.

I had the biggest,
fattest steak dinner,

then I realized I
didn't have any money.

I'd left my wallet
in my other suit.

I know, but that still doesn't
give me any right to let you...

Listen, I won't take
no for an answer.

It's only 80 cents, and besides,

it'd make me real happy
to do you a good turn.

Here you go.

Gee, how can I ever
thank you, Mister, uh...

Pyle. Gomer Pyle.

And it ain't "Mister," it's PFC.

Well, if you'll just give
me your mailing address,

I'll send you the money
the minute I get home.

It really ain't worth
troubling yourself with.

I'll tell you what...

Next time, it'll be your
turn to buy me a soda.

Well, bye.

Hi, Gomer!

Well, hey, there. What
are you doing way out here?

Well, you said next time,

it'd be my turn to
buy you a soda,

so I figured now's as
good a time as any.

You mean you came all the
way out to the base just for that?

Well, I sure do
appreciate the offer,

but, well, I don't think I can.

You see, I was on my way
in to town to meet someone.

A girl?

Well, yeah, how in the
world did you know that?

Just call it a
woman's intuition.

Well, I guess we'll have to
make it some other time then.

Well, it just don't seem fair,

you coming all the
way out here for nothing.

I'll tell you what.

I'm a little bit
early for my date,

she's probably not
even off from work yet;

maybe we will have
time for that soda.

Oh, that's wonderful!

I mean, I do want
to pay you back.

Well, fine.

Say, I don't even
know your name.

Oh, Molly. Molly Peters.

I live at 280 Homewood Road.

And the phone
number is in the book.

Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you, Molly.

Oh, thanks.

Mmm! Sure is good soda.

Thanks again, Molly.

You're welcome.

Gomer, can I tell you something?

Well, sure.

Well, in case you
been wondering,

my braces are gonna
come off next month.

Well, that's wonderful.

Actually, they should've
come off ages ago.

My teeth are perfect now.

But I have an
old-fashioned orthodontist

who doesn't like to rush things.

Well, you're lucky to
have such good care.

'Cause when I was your
age, I needed braces,

and my folks just
couldn't afford 'em.

And, to this day, I got
a terrible underbite.

Really? That's what I have.

Isn't it amazing how
much we have in common?

It sure is.

Oh, there's Lou-Ann.

Hey, Lou-Ann.

I'm sorry, Gomer.

But I was a half hour
late getting out of work.

And by the time I got
home and changed,

well, I hope you didn't
mind waiting too much.

No, I didn't mind at all.

I had some real nice company.

This is Molly Peters.

Molly, this is Lou-Ann Poovie.

Hi.

Why, the pleasure's mine, Molly.

It's always real nice to
meet a friend of Gomer's.

Molly and I met here yesterday.

And she didn't have enough
money to pay her check,

so I lent it to her.

And she's paying me back
today with another soda.

Aw, that's real sweet.

Only you better drink up,

because the picture
starts in ten minutes.

Oh, that's right.

You're going to the movies?

Mm-hmm.

We're gonna see that
new Tony Curtis picture

at the Bijou.

That's funny.

Because that's
exactly the picture

I told my folks I was
gonna see tonight.

No fooling.

Well, golly, as long
as you're going,

you might as well go with us.

Right, Lou-Ann? Might as well.

Well, I wouldn't
want to be any bother.

Don't be silly.

You're more than
welcome to join us.

If you don't mind sitting
with a couple of old folks.

That's awfully nice of you.

Well, finish up.

Oh, I don't think I will.

I'm watching my weight.

And besides, I'll be
having buttered popcorn

and candy bars in
the movies, anyway.

What are you talking about?

Of course he's
not too old for me.

And besides, don't
you read the papers?

It's happening a lot now between
older men and young women.

Okay, okay.

But outside of his uniform,
what's this Gomer got, anyway?

Oh, everything!

He's tall, and suave,
and sophisticated.

And most of all,

he makes me feel like a woman.

But how can you be
sure he's really serious?

Jill, there are some
things a woman just knows.

Instinctively.

When are you
gonna see him again?

Que sera sera.

Huh?

Well, he's a Marine

and he never knows
when he's gonna be free.

Now that I'm a
serviceman's girl,

I guess I'm just gonna
have to learn to be patient.

Well, for goodness' sakes!

Hi, Gomer.

Just thought I'd drop
by and talk awhile.

Well, that's real
friendly of you, Molly,

but I can't stop and talk now.

I've got to walk my post.

Oh, that's all right.
I'll walk with you.

But you can't do that.

They don't allow civilians
to do that here on the base.

Well, I'm not on the
base; I'm outside it.

That don't make no
difference, neither.

You ain't supposed
to be out there.

Don't you want to see me, Gomer?

Well, it's not that.

It's just that I'm
not supposed to talk

while I'm on duty, and besides,

ain't you got homework
to do this time of day?

Oh, I'm all finished
with my homework,

except for my French assignment.

Shouldn't you go on home
and get started on that now?

Oh, that's okay. I
can do it right here.

"Je suis une femme."

What's that?

That's French for
"I am a woman."

It is?

"Tu es un homme."

That means: "You are a man."

Doggone how you talk that.

"Je t'aime."

What's that mean?

"I love you."

You don't say.

That has a real nice sound.

You know, like one of
them French perfumes.

Would you like to try it?

Try what?

Saying, Je t'aime.

Oh, I couldn't do that, Molly.

I can't speak French.

Well, I can teach you.

Now repeat after me.

Je t'aime.

Je t'aime.

I said it!

I really said it!

Je t'aime.

Pyle!

Oh, hey, Sergeant Carter.

What's the matter with you?

You know better
than to talk to civilians

while on guard duty!

Yes, sir.

You'll have to go, miss.

It's against regulations
your being here.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry.

I'll see you in town, Gomer.

Now what was so important

that you had to talk about?

Nothing, Sergeant.

She was just teaching
me some French words.

Oh?

Are you planning on
joining the Foreign Legion?

No, sir.

Too bad.

Who was that kid, anyway?

Well, she's just
a sweet little girl

that I bought a soda for.

And then she bought me one back.

Well, you might just say
we're ice cream buddies.

He said it, Jill, he said it!

Right to my face.

Je t'aime.

I love you.

Well, what would you
like to do tonight, Gomer?

Well, I don't know.

What would you like to do?

'Cause whatever it is,

that's exactly
what I'd like to do.

That's real sweet of you, Gomer.

Why don't we just
take a little walk

and maybe do some
window-shopping.

Well, that's a good idea.

Let's do that.

Well, look who's here.

Hey, Molly.

Oh.

Well, fancy meeting
you two here again.

You meeting some of
your friends here, are you?

No, I just came
in for a milk shake.

By myself.

Well, see you.

Well, no point in you
sitting by yourself.

Lou-Ann and me are
still having our dessert.

Why don't you join us?

Well, I wouldn't
want to intrude.

Oh, you wouldn't be
intruding! Would she, Lou-Ann?

Oh, well, uh, no.

Thanks!

Well, what are you
two doing this evening?

Oh, well, Lou-Ann
thought that we would...

I thought that we'd
take in a movie.

Oh, really?

What were you gonna see?

Have you seen
Deep Runs the River?

Yes, I did and it was great.

Well, that's the one
we're gonna go see.

Well, you know that's
the kind of picture

I'd just love to see again.

How about the booth?

We haven't been
here for quite a while.

What made you want to eat here?

Oh, I just thought it'd
be nice for a change.

I was getting kind of
tired of the Bluebird.

And you know what
else I like about it here?

It's so cozy and private.

I mean, considering how
little we've seen of each other

these last few days.

Well, how can you
say that, Lou-Ann?

We've been together
three nights this week.

Really?

Oh, well, it hasn't
seemed that way at all.

I suppose it's because
there always seemed

to be so many people around.

Well, I know how to fix that.

As soon as we finish here,

we'll take the bus out
to the amusement park,

and ride the Ferris wheel.

I can't think of any
better way to be alone

than up in the air like that.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

Except for one small detail.

I wonder what
Molly's doing here?

Hi, Gomer.

They told me at
the Bluebird Cafe

that you sometimes eat
here, so I came right over.

I'm not in your
way, am I, Lou-Ann?

Well, let's just say
I'm getting used to it.

Why didn't you call?

Why? Was I supposed to?

Didn't you get my letter?

Well, yeah, I got it.

Well, I thought after
you got it, you'd call me.

Well... if you two
will excuse me,

I think I'd better
be getting home.

Well... Lou-Ann, wait.

But, Gomer...?

Taxi!

Lou-Ann, what's the matter?

It ain't like you
to run off like that.

Well, let's just say, I
developed a sudden pain.

Well, I don't understand.

You was feeling fine
a few seconds ago.

Well, if you must know...

I thought maybe you and
Molly might want to be alone.

You did? Whatever for?

So that you could discuss
that letter she sent you.

Well, there ain't
nothing to discuss.

It was just a little
bread-and-butter note, is all.

I'll just bet.

Well, I've got it with me.

You can see for yourself.

Believe me, it's nothing.

It's noth... Here, read it.

Bread-and-butter letters
aren't usually perfumed,

and they're not usually
sealed with a kiss, either.

That's what S.W.A.K. stands
for, in case you didn't know.

You see?

Oh, Gomer, this little girl
has got a crush on you.

What?

Well, it's just not possible.

She's just a little kid.

Well, now, you might know
that, and I might know it,

but the trouble is, she doesn't.

Taxi!

Right now, she thinks
she's every bit as grown up

and sophisticated
as Sophia Loren.

And she's in love... with you.

Golly!

Taxi!

But I don't believe it. I
just plain don't believe it.

Well, that's because you
were never a 15-year-old girl;

but I was, and the same
thing happened to me.

Only I thought I was Kim Novak,

and I was madly in love
with my homeroom teacher.

It happens all the time.

But, Lou-Ann...

Oh, Gomer, look, I'm
not really mad at you.

It's just that, well,

I'm tired of sharing whatever
free evenings we have together,

and it seems like we're
never alone anymore,

and we won't be if Molly
has anything to say about it.

But I... And you
better find some way

to let that little
girl down easy,

or else she's in for the biggest
heartbreak of her whole life.

And if you don't believe me,

you just take another
good look at that letter.

Dear Gomer, I can't tell
you how much knowing you

these past few days
has meant to me.

I never dreamed I would
ever meet anyone so kind

and understanding.

Even though our
relationship is just beginning,

I feel I have known you always.

I hope that you feel
the same about me,

and that we will be seeing
lots of each other from now on.

Yours forever, Molly.

P.S. Je t'aime.

Hi, Gomer.

How's Lou-Ann?

Oh, well, it wasn't
nothing serious,

but she did have
a little headache.

Gee, that's too bad,
especially when you had a date.

It couldn't be
helped... I guess.

It sure is lucky that I
found you tonight, Gomer.

I mean, at least you won't
have to waste your liberty...

that is, I'd be glad to
keep you company tonight.

Look, Molly, there's
something you ought to realize.

I'm just about twice your age.

Oh, but that's just for
now. I figured it out.

In 15 years, when I'm 30,
I'll be two-thirds your age,

practically no
difference at all.

Fifteen years is a long time,

especially for a Marine.

I don't even know where
I'll be stationed then.

It wouldn't matter;
I'd wait for you...

No matter how
long you were gone,

or where you went.

But you shouldn't have
to wait for anybody.

I mean, a girl your age
should be out having fun.

Golly, Molly, it's
Saturday night.

Why aren't you out
with your friends?

Oh, I could be if I wanted to.

I was invited to a party
at Jill's house tonight.

And you didn't go?

Oh, it would've been a drag.

All they do is dance a lot.

Don't you dance?

Oh, I dance as
good as any of them.

But it's all so pointless.

I mean, I don't have
anything in common

with those kids anymore...

not since I met you.

Now, Molly...

You take Paul... He's
going to be there...

And he's the biggest
kid of them all.

He thinks he's so great

just because he's the
best-looking boy in school.

And what a flirt.

He makes eyes at
every pretty girl he sees.

Did he ever make eyes at you?

Me? Well, he doesn't
even know I'm alive.

And boy, am I glad.

I just can't stand him.

He's so conceited,
I could scream.

Yeah, them conceited types
can be downright unlikable.

You're better off without him.

You can say that again.

Uh...

This party at Jill's house,
uh, can anybody go?

I mean, if they're
with an invited guest?

Sure. Why?

Well, I was just thinking, uh,

since we are going to
spend the evening together,

and we ain't got
nothing special to do,

why don't we go over there?

You mean, you'd actually
be willing to take me there?

In front of all my friends?

Why not?

Of course, if you
don't think I'd fit in...

Oh, no, no. You'd
fit in just fine.

I'd love to go;
I'd really love to.

Hi, Jill.

Hi.

I thought you couldn't make it.

Oh, we changed our
minds at the last minute.

Jill, I'd like you to meet

Private First Class Gomer Pyle

of the United
States Marine Corps.

Hi.

Well, hey, Jill. It's a
pleasure to meet you.

Gomer and I have been
going out so much lately

that we ran out of
movies and restaurants,

so we decided to drop in here.

Well, make yourselves at home.

The refreshments are over there.

Would you like something, Molly?

Not right now, thank you.

We'll have something
a little later, I guess.

Do you want to mingle,

or shall we sit
somewhere and talk?

Well, the music
sounds real good.

Would you care to dance?

Oh, I'd love to!

Hi.

Hi.

That's Paul.

Gee, Gomer, you're terrific!

Well, it sure helps if
you've got a good partner,

and you're just about the
best one I've ever danced with.

Boy, I'm sure glad I
came tonight, Molly.

You really are a lot of fun.

All that dancing kind of
made me work up a thirst.

Can I get you a bottle of pop?

Oh, I'd love one! Thanks, Gomer.

Hi. You're stationed
at Camp Henderson?

Yes, I am.

Well, how do you
like it in California?

Well, I just love it.

All the folks are so friendly
and everything, and...

and they seem to be getting
friendlier by the minute.

Can I offer you
ladies a bottle of pop?

Gomer, how long have
you been in the service?

Where's your home?
Where's your hometown?

Well, golly! That's an
awful lot of questions...

but it looks like my date

is going to be occupied
for some time to come.

So I reckon I can get around
to answering every one of 'em.

"Dear Gomer, you were right.

"A girl can't wait forever for
a man who's twice her age,

"especially when he's
in the Marine Corps

"and never knows
where he'll be stationed.

"I will always remember you,

"but we both have to
accept the bitter truth...

"it never would have worked.

Au revoir, Molly."

Oh, Gomer! Isn't that sweet?

I had a feeling this
was gonna happen

just as soon as that
good-looking boy, Paul,

started shining up to her.

He was the one that she
was stuck on all the time.

I can't say that I blame her.

He's kind of cute.

Well, I'll be.

That ain't Paul.

That's somebody new altogether.

Well, it just shows
you what a girl can do

once she's got a
little bit of confidence.

Hey, Molly!

Oh, hi.

Who was that? The Marine?

Oh, just somebody I once knew.