07x10 - Julie and the Bachelor/Set-up for Romance/Intensive Care

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Love Boat". Aired: September 24, 1977 – May 24, 1986.*
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Set on the luxury passenger cruise ship MS Pacific Princess, and revolves around the ship's captain Merrill and a handful of his crew, with passengers played by guest actors for each episode, having romantic and humorous adventures along the way.
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07x10 - Julie and the Bachelor/Set-up for Romance/Intensive Care

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♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

Rick: Christine.

Rick?
What are you doing here?

Your vacation
isn't for another month.

Well,
I'm not on vacation.

I'm here on assignment
with Mr. Harrison.

I've just been
made his assistant.

Assistant
to a vice president?

-Yep.
-Well, congratulations.

Thanks.

Um, if this briefcase
is full of work,

you're in for a busy trip.

Well, not too busy
to, uh, get to see each other,

if you think
there might be a chance.

Well, that's very sweet,

but I told you over a year ago
that I happen to be involved.

But, uh, just thought you were
traveling alone, that's all.

I am traveling alone,
but I'm still involved.

No law against that,
is there?

Bye.

Uh, Tucker, there you are.

I was waiting for you
on deck.

Mr. Harrison, I just ran into
somebody from the company --

Christine Burton from payroll,
do you know her?

, employees -- I can't be
expected to know everyone.

You're lucky
I know you, Tucker.

Now, check on my luggage
for me, will you?

Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.

[ Telephone ringing ]

That's a pretty bracelet
you're wearing, miss.

I have
a generous friend.

Your generous friend
has excellent taste.

And cares for you very,
very much.

Have a nice cruise.

Bye-bye.

-Hi.
-Hi.

I'm gopher Smith.
Welcome aboard.

May I have your nurse, please?
Your name?

My name
is Herbert Chandler.

Nice to see you.

I'm Donna maloney.

You know something?

You and I have a lot
in common.

I'm the purser.

You're the nurser.

Cruise brochure
said there was entertainment.

I pray
that wasn't a sample.

-Mr. Chandler, I believe?
-Yes.

Your travel agent
notified us.

I'm Adam bricker,
the ship's doctor.

Another doctor.

And you must be
Mr. Chandler's nurse.

I just want you to know
the medical facilities

aboard are completely
at your disposal.

Night or day,
just call me.

Thank you.

I don't suppose
you've noticed, doctor,

but I'm the one
in the wheelchair.

Of course.

Just trying to help.

After years of observation,
I've found that doctor's

can help their patients most
by staying away from them.

Miss maloney,
please take me to my cabin.

Good day, sir.
-Good day.

You know, gopher, whenever I
see a dedicated nurse like that,

I just feel it's
my professional duty

to spend as much of my time
as possible helping her.

I know
what you mean, doc.

And I feel
it's my professional duty

to spend a lot of my time
helping you help her.

[ Foghorn blows ]

♪♪

Julie: Oh!

It is him.

It's Colin Crawford.

I've got to meet him.

Oh, wait till I tell
my friends back home.

You're welcome.

Oh, thanks.

I needed that.
-Sure.

Julie, we've had movie stars
aboard before.

Oh, but never
a movie star

that I've been in love with
ever since high school.

I'm his number-one fan.

Oh, I have so many questions
to ask him.

Oh, hello.

Well, welcome aboard,
Mr. Crawford.

I'm captain stubing,

and this is our cruise director,
Julie McCoy.

Ah, congratulations,
captain.

Everything about your ship
is so beautiful.

Perfume -- tout le monde?

My favorite.

Oh, this is my, uh,
secretary, Gina.

-How do you do?
-Hello.

Captain, I have a lot
of work to do.

Would it be possible to have
a typewriter sent to my cabin?

Well, I'm sure our purser
can handle that.

Thank you.

She's so efficient.

Well, thank you again,
captain.

Looking forward
to a very enjoyable voyage.

For a number-one fan,
you didn't say very much.

Where are you going?

To have this bronzed.

[ Chuckles ]

Hiya.

Hi.

Having fun?

Doing nothing
but relaxing and I love it.

Think we could have dinner
together?

Thanks, but I plan on spending
the evening in my cabin,

and I'm really aboard
for a rest.

Well, Tucker.

I thought you'd be hard
at work by now.

Well, I was waiting
for you, sir.

Uh, I ran
into Christine here,

and we got to talking.

Uh, right, I don't believe
you know each other.

Uh, Mr. Harrison,
this is Christine Burton --

you know, the lady
I told you about from payroll?

My pleasure, miss Burton.

Thank you,
Mr. Harrison.

Well, I'm ready to work
if you are, sir.

Ah, well, in that event,
I'll tell you what you do.

You go down to my cabin,

make sure that all your pencils
are sharpened,

and I should be there in,
uh, about an hour.

Tucker.

I'll see you in an hour.

So, if I'm not there in an hour,
he can start without me.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Is it true that when he
made "love me in Paris,"

he had a hot affair
with his leading lady?

He was hot.

He had a temperature of
during most of the filming --

a reoccurrence
of his malaria.

Oh, that's right.

He got it on location sh**ting
"loves of a pirate king."

You seem to know more
about him than I do,

and i'm
his private secretary.

Excuse me.

Ah, Julie McCoy, the young lady
who doesn't speak.

Oh, well, you see,
whenever I see you in person,

my mouth just stops working.

Well, from what I see,

everything seems
to be working just fine.

This young lady
is your biggest fan.

That's right --
I even wrote you a letter once,

but I guess
you wouldn't remember.

Let me see.

You asked me to send
you a picture, I believe.

You do remember.

Oh, you must get hundreds
of letters from ladies like me.

You found me out.

Mr. Crawford, you better
finish reading your script.

The studio's waiting
to hear from you.

Ah, yes --
business, business, business.

I've been invited to eat at the
captain's table this evening.

I know.

But I won't go
unless you join me.

I'll be there.

Okay.

Gopher,
if she has dinner with me,

at least we'll have something
to talk about.

She's a nurse.
I'm a doctor.

Oh, I wouldn't be
too sure about that, doc.

Donna and I probably have a lot
to talk about.

She's a nurse.
I've been a patient.

Adenoids when I was .

They didn't think
I'd make it.

Hi.

How's our favorite patient
getting along?

And our favorite nurse?

I'm fine, doctor.

Oh, would you
get me some more lemonade?

Oh, here --
let me give you a hand.

-No, no, no, no, I'll get that.
-No, I'll get it.

-Doc, you said I could --
-i know what you said,

but I said I'll get it.
-Hold it, hold it.

Now, here's
what we're going to do.

Doctor,
you take the pitcher.

Mr. Smith,
you take the glass.

Miss maloney,
you take me.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Slow music playing ]

Christine,
I figured it out.

-Figured what out?
-It's not an accident

that the two of us are
on this cruise together.

-It's not?
-Unh-unh.

No, it's, uh, fate.

Uh, Rick,
why don't you give

another girl on this ship
a break?

Fate has already supplied me
with one man in my life.

No, look, that --
that doesn't make sense.

I mean, no guy lets his
girlfriend go on a vacation

alone unless he's an idiot
or he's married.

Well,
you're half right.

His IQ is over .

Married?

Well, it's not as bad
as it sounds.

We're very much in love.

And he's getting a divorce,
and we're gonna get married.

Make sense to you now?

Well, if you mean does
that make me want to give up,

the answer
to that question is no.

No.

Not until
you've tied the knot.

Look, I'm gonna ask
Mr. Harrison

if you can join us
for dinner tonight.

Um, well, if that's all right
with Mr. Harrison.

Well, he may not like it
at first

because he's here to work,
but I'll convince him.

Well, um...
If you can talk him into it.

♪♪

Mr. Crawford,
I've read where some actors

do their own stunts
in their pictures.

Do you do your own stunts?

Yes, I do, captain.

I never used a double for any
of my dangerous kissing scenes.

Even when
I had chapped lips.

[ Chuckles ]

Mr. Crawford, have you ever
fallen in love

with one
of your leading ladies?

No, I haven't, Vicki.

But then again,
you've never been my co-star.

[ Chuckles ]

I don't know how
you do it.

If I had your job,

I'd just stare at him
all day long and breathe hard.

It's all
in a day's work.

How can you
concentrate?

Simple -- I'm married
and very happily.

Well, working
with Colin Crawford all day,

your husband
must be something special.

He's wonderful,
but it's just a job.

"Just a job"?

You want to trade?

[ Chuckles ]

See, now, isn't this better
than eating alone?

You know,
when I asked Mr. Harrison

if you could join us,
you know what he said?

He said, "I insist."

To a very thoughtful
boss.

Yeah, right.

I do my best
to keep our employees...

Totally satisfied.

[ Chuckles ]
All , of them.

And you manage
so well.

Good employee relations
are the first thing

in Mr. Harrison's book.

Isn't that right, sir?

Well said, Tucker.

And here you are,
Mr. Chandler.

You don't have to say
"here you are, Mr. Chandler."

I know where I am.

Yes, sir.
I'm sure you do.

Donna, I'm delighted you could
have dinner with me tonight.

Aren't you just as delighted
that I could have dinner

with you tonight,
Mr. Smith?

Of course I am,
Mr. Chandler.

And to show you
how delighted I am,

why don't you just
call me gopher?

The reason
I don't call you gopher

is because gopher
is a very silly name.

Yes, sir.

Uh, Donna, would you like
to go dancing after dinner?

Yes, she would,
but with me.

Well, I love to dance,

but I have to be
with Mr. Chandler.

Well, why don't you go dancing
if that's what you like, Donna.

Oh, thank you,
Mr. Chandler.

I'll take you back to your cabin
before we go.

Yes, we'll all take you back
to your cabin, Mr. Chandler.

It would be a pleasure
to take you

back to your cabin,
Mr. Chandler.

No, it won't.

I'm going with you.

♪♪

♪♪

You certainly are generous
to your fans.

Thank you.

Would my favorite fan care
to dance?

I would love to.

Mr. Crawford,
it's getting late.

I think I'll go
to my cabin.

Oh, and I promised
the ship's photographer that he

could get some more sh*ts
of you in the morning.

Thank you, Gina.

Uh, if there's anything else
you want...

No, just leave my usual call
for : A.M.

I already have.
Goodnight.

-Goodnight.
-Goodnight, Gina.

: A.M.?

Our photographer
isn't up at that hour.

Why should you be?

Oh, I have
my usual little routines --

sit-ups, jogging.

It's a lot of hard work
to make it look

as though it all
comes naturally.

Well,
it looks great to me.

[ Chuckles ]

We're lucky Mr. Harrison decided
to go to bed early.

Gives you and me the rest
of the evening together.

Well, Rick, it's been fun,

but I'm feeling
a little tired myself.

Oh, I thought we'd take

a little walk on the deck
or something.

Well, the truth is,
I'm very tired.

Oh.

Well, I guess
tomorrow's another day.

No, I-I don't think so.

Tomorrow's
not another day?

-Gopher.
-Hmm?

I'm beginning
to feel a little bit guilty

about neglecting
Mr. Chandler.

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that
if I were you.

The way
they're hitting it off,

i bet you they'll be
gabbing away for hours.

You like to dance,
Mr. Chandler?

What kind of a question is that
to ask of a man in a wheelchair?

I mean, of course,
after you've recover.

Your accident, I understand,
was seven months ago.

You had
multiple fractures?

That's right.

It's none
of my business of course,

but, uh,
it's a little unusual to be

in a wheelchair so long
after injuries like that.

You're right.
It is none of your business.

And if you have
any more questions,

they're none
of your business, either.

♪♪

Do you remember the way
that one ended?

There was you and the girl
on the cliffs

overlooking the ocean
with the waves crashing

and the wind
blowing in her hair.

I remember she turned
to you and said,

[ French accent ]
"Francois, is this the end?

Will I never see
you again?"

Very good.
Very good.

Have you ever
thought about acting?

[ Normal voice ]
Oh, the only acting I ever did

was in grade school.

I played a carrot.

You must have made
a lovely carrot.

[ Chuckles ]

Go on,
you seem to know all the words.

No,
you're embarrassing me.

I'll tell you what.
Come over here.

Okay, just stand
on this Mark right there.

This can be
your key light.

[ Chuckles ]

Camera.

Action.

[ French accent ]
Oh, francois,

how can I face tomorrow
without you?

[ French accent ] Let's not
think of tomorrow, Marguerite.

We still have tonight.

Francois,
you want the moment.

I want forever.

This moment
is our forever.

But will you leave me
with nothing to remember you by?

Only this.

[ Normal voice ] This is where
you kissed her.

♪♪

Colin.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Groans ]

Mr. Chandler!

Let me help you.

[ Groans ]

Are you all right?

Yes, I -- I'm fine.

Thank you.
Just -- just fine.

That could have been
a nasty fall.

Let me do that for you.

Well, here we are.

Are you sure
you're all right?

You, uh, don't want
to see our doctor?

I've just been
with your doctor, captain.

I certainly don't
need him.

But I thank you
for your help.

I-I'm fine, believe me.

Well, if there's anything
you want,

just pick up the phone
and it's yours.

I will. Thank you,
and goodnight, captain.

Goodnight.

♪ ...are two of the things
that I love ♪

Hi.

Rick,
what are you doing?

Can't say goodnight
without a nightcap.

What do you say?

A bottle of Isaac's
very best bubbly.

Won't you ever give up?

No, not until
after you're married.

Rick, I'm not
on this cruise alone.

Huh?

You see, I told you
some of the truth,

but not all of the truth.

My friend is
on the trip.

Matter of fact,
he's in my cabin now.

That's why I can't
invite you in for a drink.

Aw, come on.
You're putting me on.

Come on, I'm not that easy
to get rid of.

Just what does it take
to get rid of you, Tucker?

Mr. Harrison?

Go to bed, Tucker.

♪♪

Gina,
you're still up.

We have to talk.

Well, can't it wait
until morning?

I saw you kissing
that girl.

Oh, Gina, Julie and I
were just acting out

the last scene
from "the pirates of maracaibo."

She knows all the dialogue
and everything.

She's quite a fan.

I suppose you were acting out
the bedroom scenes, too.

Now, you know me
better than that.

Do I?

I was just trying to please
an admirer, that's all.

You've gone too far
this time, Colin.

I do believe
you're upset.

And why shouldn't I be?
I'm your wife.

Good morning.

That island off our port side
is one of the cedros islands,

an area rich in marine life.

Keep your eyes open,
and you're bound to see

whales and dolphins
frolicking in the waves.

And don't forget our
scrumptious breakfast

on the lido deck.
-Hi.

Hello.

Still talking to me?

[ Scoffs ]

I guess I better.

After all,
you're the boss's girlfriend.

Well, I suppose
I deserved that.

But I did tell you
he was getting a divorce

and that he was
gonna marry me.

Yeah, you just left out the part
about him being Mr. Harrison.

Sorry.

You know,
I guess I only have one thing

to say to you,
miss Burton.

What's that?

Congratulations.

Do you mean that?

Why wouldn't
I mean that?

It makes me a friend
of the boss's wife.

Gina, you haven't said a word
this morning.

I have nothing to say.

Look, I told you,
we were just acting.

It didn't mean
anything.

Now, look.

That's it.
You're jealous.

But you know
what they say --

jealousy's good
for a marriage.

With what I saw, I have
every right to be jealous.

The way you were holding
that woman

and kissing her
passionately.

It was nothing.

Why don't you
believe me?

Maybe because I knew someday
this was bound to happen,

what with my pretending
to be your secretary

and you
acting free as a bird.

-Gina.
-No, Colin.

This arrangement
of ours,

it's like sitting
on a time b*mb.

Nonsense.

That's easy for you
to say.

But if isn't Julie McCoy,
who knows?

Maybe it'll be
that bosomy little starlet

in your next film,
or that cute waitress.

Look, I resent
your accusations.

And I'm an honorable man.

Yes, you are.

You're perfect.

And you want every woman in
the world to remind you of it.

Julie: Good morning.

Ah, good morning,
Julie.

I hope you haven't forgotten
that this is the morning

I'm taking you on a special tour
of the ship.

How could I forget?

Oh, good.

Unless you're busy.

Oh, no, no, no.

My, uh, secretary
can take care of the business.

Great.

Excuse me.

Got a couple
of cabins on --

-uh, merrill.
-Adam?

I just examined
Mr. Chandler's leg.

There were no apparent injuries
from the fall.

Well, that's
certainly a relief.

No, but I'm confused.

I could only give him
a cursory examination,

but, uh, muscle tone
and reflexes are fine.

From all appearances,
Mr. Chandler

could be jogging
around the deck.

Well, then,
what's he doing in a wheelchair?

Maybe it's a scam.

Maybe he's trying to knock off
his insurance company.

That's really none
of our business.

Our business is simply to make
certain that he didn't

hurt himself while
on our ship.

I know,
but the curious doctor in me

still wonders
why a man stays

in his wheelchair
when he doesn't have to.

The curious man in me
wonders the same thing.

♪♪

Buenos dias, amigos mios.

This is it, acapulco --

world-renown haven
for honeymooners, vacationers,

and just plain jet-setters.

Tours can be arranged at
the desk in the purser's lobby.

♪♪

Oh, Gina,
I'm so glad you're here.

-Are you?
-Yes, I was wondering

if we could talk,
woman to woman.

What is it,
miss McCoy?

Oh, please,
call me Julie.

Well, it's about --
who else --

the world's greatest lover,
Colin Crawford.

Of course.

I've grown very fond
of Colin.

And the feeling
is mutual?

Yes...
I think so.

A woman
senses these things.

Yes, she does.

Well, I'd like
to get him something special,

and since you know him
better than anyone else,

I thought I'd ask you
what he might like.

Well, there's something you
should know about Mr. Crawford.

Oh, I know --
that there's nothing

I could get the man
that has everything.

-No.
-Well, then, what is it?

You see, Mr. Crawford...

That is, he gets so many gifts
from his admirers.

Oh, I can imagine --

the world's
most eligible bachelor.

And he is charming, handsome,
and worldly.

Any woman would give him
anything he wanted.

I'd like to see something
around his neck.

A gold chain.
That's it.

I don't know
why I didn't think of it.

Thank you, Gina.

You wanted
to see me, sir?

Ah, yes.

Get the purser
to cash this check, will you?

I want you to go shopping
for me in acapulco.

Shopping for what, sir?

I want you to buy a special gift
for a special lady.

Oh.

I think something in,
um, Mexican silver.

She loves the stuff.

Um, earrings might be nice --
perhaps set with turquoise.

Here, let me, um --

let me make out a card
that you can put with it.

"To the one who is always there
when I need her,

my endless devotion."

You like that, Tucker?

Very nice, sir.

No, I think perhaps
I should add a few words

concerning
our future together.

"One wonderful years
deserves another."

years, sir?

There you go, Tucker.

Mr. Harrison,
the card here says

"my darling Francine."
-Well, of course it does.

I'm sending you to buy

an anniversary present
for my wife.

You are?

You see something wrong
in that, Tucker?

Well, no, sir. No, sir.
Nothing at all.

It's certainly nice that you
still care enough about her

to write something like this,
even though

you're gonna be divorcing her
to marry miss Burton.

Divorcing my wife?
Where'd you hear that?

Well, sir, Christine
told me that you told her --

oh, y-yes, well...
[ Chuckles ]

I think, um --
I think it's time, Tucker,

that you grew up.

You see, I told miss Burton
the same thing

that I told miss Shaw
two summers ago.

-Miss Shaw in office services?
-That's right.

And before her,
there was miss, um, Thompson.

In public relations.

But, sir --
-i know.

I'm a regular,
little, old heartbreaker.

Now, just be sure
you remember

to put that card
with my wife's gift.

You know, Tucker,
someday,

when you've worked your way
up to the executive suite,

you'll find a few little cuties
of your own.

One little cutie would
be enough for me, sir.

♪♪

"Jason saw the shadow
fall on the stairs

and was gripped
with terror.

His heart pounded in his mouth,
as he reached for the poker."

Isn't this exciting?

Apparently not.

Doc: Donna.

Hi, Donna.

Donna, I want
to ask you something.

When was the last time
Mr. Chandler saw his doctor?

I don't know.
Quite some time ago.

His brother's his doctor.
Why?

Is there a problem?

Well, I don't know
if there's a problem,

but I know
there's a question.

I think he should
be able to walk.

You must be mistaken,
doctor.

If he could walk,
why wouldn't he?

Yeah,
that's the question.

I just can't believe
he'd stay in that wheelchair

if he didn't have to.

He seems to hate it.

Could be,
but I still think he can walk.

Well, I hope
you're right, doctor.

I guess
I hope you're right.

What do you mean
by that?

Well, to be honest,

I thought about the time
he'd recover,

and I think I have
mixed emotions about it.

Mixed emotions?

When he walks,
he won't need me anymore.

Oh, a good nurse
can always find work.

Thanks, but this is
a little different.

I think I'm in love
with him.

In love with him --
Mr. Cranky?

You haven't seen
his good side.

He's a wonderful man --
gentle, kind, and warm.

That must be when he's
on land.

I haven't seen much
of those qualities.

Does he know
how you feel about him?

No,
and he's not going to.

I'm just his nurse.

It's not up to me
to tell him that.

I don't think there's room
in his life for me.

Well, I wouldn't know
about that,

but I still wonder
why there isn't room

in his life
for walking.

Silly little girl.

It was sweet of her
to give me this chain.

It was my suggestion.

Oh, excellent.

You've finally come
to your senses.

You realized the girl
is harmless.

Possibly.

Colin...

I've given what I'm about
to say a lot of thought,

so, please,
listen to me.

What is it?

Our relationship -- this charade
we've been playing --

it won't work any longer.

Gina, we've been
over this many times.

We both agreed it was best
for my career.

I must admit it's been
hard on you, but it's worked.

And I can assure you,

despite what you may think
happened between Julie and me,

i have not compromised my side
of the bargain with you.

I don't know what
to think.

Perhaps this incident
with Julie

is perfectly innocent,
but who knows?

Someday, somewhere --

I'll not hear you talk
like this any longer.

It's an old story,
Colin.

The loyal wife ages.

The marriage
becomes boring.

The husband
wanders off.

Only in this case, I haven't
even had the satisfaction

of being recognized
as your wife.

But our situation's
unique.

It's the way it had
to be.

I love you,
and I always will.

You must understand that.

And I love you...

Perhaps too much.

And that's why I have decided
to step out of your life.

Step out of my life?

You can't be serious.

I've never been
more serious.

♪♪

♪♪

And that's the story.

He has no intention
of getting a divorce.

He's just stringing
Christine along.

Why don't you tell her?

Because she knows that I love
her desperately enough to lie.

It's Harrison she'd believe,
not me.

Mm.

I'm sorry to have to say so,
but you got a point.

What's in the box?

A gift
for Harrison's wife.

You know, I just wish Christine
could have seen

him sitting there writing
this card out to his wife.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Piano music playing ]

This card to his wife.

Isaac, that's it!

Thanks.
You saved the day.

I got to learn to stop
saving the day

and having people run off
without leaving me a tip.

How did I wind up
with you?

Where's my nurse?

Oh, she said she had
something very important to do

and would meet you
in the lounge later.

Now, just relax.

I want to show you
more of the ship.

So far, all you've shown me
are the hallways.

Well,
they're not hallways.

On a ship, they're known
as passageways.

Mm, it's worth the cost
of the cruise to learn that.

And these are
the crew's quarters.

Good.

Now, you take me back
to my cabin immediately,

or there'll be
one ship's doctor

found severely injured in
the hallway and/or passageway.

-Gopher, please, don't.
-Wait.

Gopher:
Donna, I can't sleep.

I can't eat.
All I think about is you.

I want you.
I need you.

-Gopher, don't, please!
-Just let me hold you!

-Wheel me in there.
-Oh, I can't do that.

That's gopher's cabin.

Besides, it isn't nice
to eavesdrop.

I'll do more than eavesdrop.
I'll k*ll him!

Get your hands...
Off her.

You can walk.

It's a miracle.

Why didn't you
walk before?

Because I was afraid
I'd lose you,

and once I walked,

there'd be no reason
for you to stay with me.

All you had to do
was ask.

What do you mean?
What exactly should I ask?

Anything.

Ask anything.

Well, first, I'd like to ask
why a beautiful woman like you

would be at all interested
in a man like me.

Because I love you.

You've been in intensive care
and you never knew.

[ Sighs ]

I certainly know now.

♪♪

Harrison: You're
a fantastic woman, Christine.

Christine: Thank you.

You know, the first time

I saw you
in the company lunch room,

I said to myself, "Harrison,
you must have her

for your very own."
-"For your very own."

[ Knock on door ]

Ah, that must be
the wine steward.

Here it is, sir --
that gift you wanted me

to pick up for that very
special woman in your life.

Charles, how sweet.

Miss Burton,
I didn't know you'd be here.

Uh,
this is a surprise.

Well,
I am surprised.

Are you out
of your mind?

Sir, I had no idea
she was gonna be here.

Oh, they're exquisite.

"My darling Francine"?

It's a beautiful note --

warm, full of love.

Hardly something
you'd give to a woman who,

uh, you were
going to divorce, is it?

Darling,
what can I say?

The note says it all
for you, Mr. Harrison.

♪♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

we hope you enjoyed your visit
to acapulco.

As we sail for Los Angeles,

won't you join us
for dancing on the lido deck?

And don't forget our fabulous
midnight champagne buffet.

If you're looking
for a shoulder to lean on,

you can try this one
for size.

Thanks, but I don't know
if I deserve one.

I haven't been
a very good judge of character.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Except for me.

[ Both chuckle ]

I didn't make any mistakes
about my feelings for you.

Is that shoulder
still available?

Sure.

You see,
you didn't turn out

to be such a bad judge
of character, after all.

Hmm.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Upbeat music playing ]

Excuse me.

Gina.
Gina.

I've been looking
for you everywhere.

Why?

Please, we've got to talk.

I have nothing more
to say to you.

[ Music continues ]

[ Drum roll ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have a very important
announcement to make.

For years, you have known me
as Colin Crawford, the actor,

playboy, man about town.

That is perhaps
an image more created

by fan magazines
and press agents,

but one that I certainly
have not discouraged.

[ Laughter ]

At least until now.

No more will I be
the eligible bachelor,

because tonight, I'm about
to introduce to you

the one, true love of my life --

my wife of years,

Gina Crawford.

[ Gasping, applause ]

I'd like to dedicate
this song to her.

[ Piano plays softly ]

♪ If the sun
should tumble from the sky ♪

♪ if the sea
should suddenly run dry ♪

♪ if you love me,
really love me ♪

♪ let it happen ♪

♪ I won't care ♪

♪ if it seems
that everything is lost ♪

♪ I would smile
and never count the cost ♪

♪ if you love me,
really love me ♪

♪ let it happen, darling ♪

♪ I won't care ♪

♪ shall I catch
a sh**ting star ♪

♪ shall I bring it
where you are ♪

♪ if you want me to,
you know I will ♪

♪ you could set me any task ♪

♪ I'll do anything you ask ♪

♪ if you'll only,
if you'll only love me still ♪

♪ when at last
our life on earth is through ♪

♪ I would share eternity
with you ♪

♪ if you love me,
really love me ♪

♪ then whatever happens ♪

♪ I won't caaaaaaare ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

And that's
the whole story.

It never dawned on me
how unfair I've been to Gina

all these years.

And you've been
so devoted to him.

Yes, it took the jolt

of nearly losing her
to bring me to my senses.

Well, I'm happy
for both of you.

Can you ever forgive me,
Julie?

After what you've done
to me?

You've shattered
my life.

You've shattered
my dreams.

How dare you speak
to me like that?

Don't you think
I have feelings?

"Interlude in venice."

The gondola scene.

I'll never forget it.

Well, if it's any
consolation, Julie,

you're the one
who deserves the credit

for saving our marriage.

I never thought I'd play such
an important part in your lives.

Then you really do
understand.

Oh, of course.

I'm your number-one fan.

[ Chuckles ]
Oh, no, you're not.

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

This turned out to be
a real good cruise for you two.

Yeah, it did, Isaac.

Gonna hate to see it end.

Well, there's one good thing
about endings.

They're a chance
for new beginnings.

Oh, well,
thanks for sailing with us.

-Yeah, so long.
-Thanks, bye.

Uh, Christine.
Tucker.

Yes, Mr. Harrison?

Uh, I'm very sorry
about everything.

I -- I hope
you'll both forgive me.

Well, sir,
we've talked it over

and decided to let bygones
be bygones.

You have?

In fact, we are
going to give you the number

of a lovely woman
we know you'll go for.

Oh, well, thank you.

-You're welcome.
-Bye.

Sweet kids.

Hold it.

This is my home number.

Well, still on
your feet, I see.

You bet he is,
thanks to you two.

Doctor, I hope you'll forgive
my deception.

I will
if you'll forgive mine.

Forgive you?

We're gonna name our
first two children after you.

Doc and gopher.

Maybe not.

These days, every Tom, d*ck,
and Harry is named gopher.

-Goodbye.
-Bye.

-Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye.

♪♪

♪♪
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