07x19 - Hong Kong Cruise: Polly's Poker Palace/Shop Ahoy/Double Date/The Hong Kong Affair/Two Tails of a City: Part 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Love Boat". Aired: September 24, 1977 – May 24, 1986.*
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Set on the luxury passenger cruise ship MS Pacific Princess, and revolves around the ship's captain Merrill and a handful of his crew, with passengers played by guest actors for each episode, having romantic and humorous adventures along the way.
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07x19 - Hong Kong Cruise: Polly's Poker Palace/Shop Ahoy/Double Date/The Hong Kong Affair/Two Tails of a City: Part 1

Post by bunniefuu »

[Theme music]

Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.

Come aboard, we're
expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

[Pa dings]

[Indistinct chatter]

Gopher (over pa): Good evening.

All passengers are invited
to the purser's lobby

to join us for some
champagne and caviar prior

to our departure for Hong Kong.

Really?

Your first trip to Hong Kong?

Mine too.

That ought to
give them a feeling

of confidence, like
me telling a patient

it's my first operation.

Robert, I have to--

I have to just check and make
sure that I have everything.

Here, hold this.

Wait.

I need my credit
cards, my traveler's

checks, my cash, and
a map of all the best

shopping spots in Hong Kong.

I'm ready.

Got your passport?

I'll buy one when I get there.

Oh, come on, Robert.

Where's your sense of humor?

Oh, oh, excuse me.

We're Robert and Eleanor savage.

Oh, hi.

Welcome aboard.

Happy Hong Kong.
- Thank you.

How do you do?
- Yeah, hi.

Which way is it to
promenade suite ?

Through that door,
stairway to the right.

I'll meet you
there later, darling.

I'm going to go check
out the gift shop.

Sorry, it's closed
while we're in port.

Closed?

You mean like not open?
- Yes.

It doesn't open until
o'clock in the morning.

Well, good night.

I'm going to bed.

Yeah, well, don't
forget to set your alarm.

You wouldn't want to be second
on line when they open, huh?

Very funny,
Robert, very funny.

[Laughs]

Hong Kong, land of
intrigue, mystery,

romance, and adventure.

It sounds like the
apartment house I live in.

Hm, this the opening
sentence to my new novel.

Oh, Isaac, you're not
writing another novel, are you?

Yeah.

And this time, I'm going
to finish it, gopher.

- Oh, right.
- Wait a minute.

No, wait.

Listen to this title--

"Hong Kong mosaic."

And since you're my best
friend, I'm going to let you

be the first person to read it.

All right.

What an honor.

But with my thumb like this,
I couldn't turn the pages.

Polly, do you think we
can mix a little pleasure

with our business this trip?

Oh, you know me.

A little pleasure
never hurt anyone.

Yes.

Hi.

I'm Adam bricker,
the ship's doctor.

Bet you're sorry
you're not sick.

[Laughs] Yes.

This is Polly Sullivan.

I'm Katherine James, her lawyer.

Bet you're sorry
you're not in jail.

Ha, ha.

Welcome aboard.

Two glasses of bubbly
for two bubbly ladies.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Caviar inside--
you're welcome.

Ah, good.

Now that's what I
call a handsome man.

Well, I've been working--

oh, I love a man
with a mustache.

No.

I meant the other one.

Ha, ha.

Well, senator, if
there's anything

we can do to make your trip more
enjoyable, please, let us know.

I just remembered who he is.

Hm?

It's senator Dan Whitman.

And the cute one next to
him is his campaign manager.

I saw them on the
news the other night.

The word is out the senator
is presidential timber.

Well, the woods
are full of those.

I also hear that he's single.

Well, can't be
much of a catch.

They say the best ones
are always married.

I told you, colonel, I
don't want any protection.

You still have enemies
in Hong Kong, Charles.

Hostiles would like
to see you eliminated.

You worry too much, colonel.

Now, who would want to waste
time knocking off an ex-spy?

Colonel: Associates of
the men you put in prison.

Ours is a dangerous
game, Charles,

even for agents who retire.

I can handle myself.

Besides, I'm going over
there for laughs, colonel.

And I don't want to
see anyone tailing me,

even if it's for my own good.

Ok?

It's against my
better judgment,

but it's your decision.

Just be careful, very careful.

Mother, if I send postcards
to all these people,

I'll have writer's cramp.

All right, postcards
for everyone,

and I'll call you when
I get to Hong Kong.

Uh, gopher, can I talk
to you for a minute?

Not now.

Gopher, can I talk
to you for a minute?

Not now.

I'm leni martek.

I'm Charles Dane.

[Laughs]

I'm leni martek.

I'm Charles--

are you two
traveling together?

Well, that depends
on miss martek.

You might not be
traveling at all.

Hm?

You dropped your ticket.

Oh, you see?

It works for men too.

Mr. Dane, you are on the
promenade deck, cabin .

And miss martek is--

fiesta.

A geographical error
we'll have to remedy.

Thank you.

Uh, would cocktails in an
hour be too presumptuous?

I should be thirsty by then.

Good.

Oh.

Oh, wait a minute.

You have a smudge on
the back of your jacket.

Oh, well, thank you.

I can't wait till you
get your first smudge.

Gopher, I'm telling
you, that guy is a spy.

Isaac, your book is
going to your head.

Gopher, I heard him.

Yeah, ok, right.

He's a spy.

He's James Bond,
and she's mata hari.

And next, you're going to see
some sinister-looking dude

that's spying on both of them.

Right?

[Theme music playing]

[Cheering]

Julie (over pa): Good
morning, ladies and gentlemen.

After hours at sea, we've
traveled , nautical miles.

Don't forget get to stop
in at the purser's lobby

and find out about
our illustrated slide

program on exciting Hong Kong.

Are you going to
Hong Kong for business

or pleasure, Mr. Savage?

Both.

But for my wife, it's
strictly pleasure.

She is the world's
champion shopper.

All husbands say that.

Oh, really?

My wife was sick
for a week once,

and three department
stores went bankrupt.

[Laughter]

Robert, there you are.

Hi.

Hello.

Honey, I found the
most fabulous things

at the gift shop.

Wait until you
hear what I bought.

I found diamond
studs for the maid.

And I found a brooch for cook
and a solid gold stick pin

for the gardener.

Isn't that fabulous?

You got homer a
solid gold stick pin?

Well, I'm sure he
doesn't have one.

And besides, the gift shop
doesn't carry weed whackers.

[Laughs]

How much have these last
two days set me back?

Only $,.

Calm down.

Great.

Well, at that rate, I
should be wiped out an hour

before we get to Hong Kong.

It's a deal.

Then, ok, when we get
to Hong Kong, you and me.

Ok.

Hey, Vicki.

Julie, there's that cute
guy I was telling you about.

Yeah, you've been talking
about him since we sailed.

He is cute.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi.

This is Julie McCoy,
our cruise director.

Pleased to meet
you, miss McCoy.

Oh, please, call me Julie.

Ok, miss McCoy--

I mean, Julie.

Excuse me.

Vicki, I was wondering
if you'd like--

I'd understand if
you wouldn't want to.

But maybe you'd like to go
dancing tonight with me.

And we could double date
with my brother, Peter.

Oh, I would love to.

But who is your brother's date?

He doesn't have one.

But I thought maybe you
could get somebody for him.

How about miss McCoy?

Ok.

I'll ask her.

Oh, but if you wanted
a double date with us,

you've got to stop
calling her miss McCoy.

Otherwise, she'll charge you
$ an hour for babysitting.

Gopher (over pa):
Attention, passengers.

Bingo will begin in the
casino in minutes.

You sent me a Rose.

Oh, it was nothing,
nothing at all--

just a small
fortune aboard ship.

[Laughs] That was lovely.

Thank you.

Tell me, what do you do,
besides looking beautiful?

[Scoffs] I'm a
fashion designer.

And you, what do you do?

I'm retired.

Yeah?

Mhm.

From looking at any
other woman but you.

Flattering but mysterious.

Why?

Does a little
mystery bother you?

Uh-uh.

It fascinates me.

I'm glad.

Are we becoming what they
call romantically involved?

I am.

I think you're about a
day and a half behind.

I better catch up.

Let me help.

[Romantic music playing]

Oh, that was nice.

I think I just caught
up about a half a day.

You see how time flies
when you're having fun?

[Theme music playing]

Oh, you've done a fine
job with these Macau

reports, Kathy.

Now, are we going to
bank Hong Kong dollars

or convert to the us?

Hm?

What do you think?

Hello?

Anybody home?

I'm sorry.

But he is awfully cute.

Ok, we're not going to
get anymore work done.

Why don't you take five
and go meet your dream man?

I mean, all you've done is stare
at him for the last two days.

The only way I can meet
him would be to slip my name

into his appointment calendar.

Mm.

Maybe I can get you an
earlier appointment.

How?

Yeah, why did god
give us beautiful legs?

Sorry!

Oh, indeed.

Why don't you watch we're
you're going, for heaven's sake?

Excuse me.

Oh, you poor thing.

I think she's hurt.

Ow!

Oh, oh, ah.

I think you should
help Kathy to her cabin.

I think so.

I need a little ice,
perhaps, on this.

Yes.

I don't know what happened.

And, oh, dear, if your
neck hurts, lean on him.

Oh, absolutely, yes.

Just-- oh, thank you.

I'm so sorry.

Well, yes, well,
it'll be fine.

It's just a little [inaudible].

I don't know what happened.

[Inaudible].

In hockey, we get two
minutes in the penalty box

for tripping.

Oh, I beg your pardon?

You sandbagged my partner.

Not that I mind.

Matt tends to get a little
too wrapped up in this work.

I'm Dan Whitman.

Polly Sullivan.

Well, my friend liked his looks,
and so I got them together.

In my business, we use
a little more finesse.

Yes, well, maybe that's
the trouble in Washington--

too much finesse and
not enough results.

Ha, ha.

I hope I never have to
run against you, Sullivan.

[Chuckles]

Hm.

Yes.

Well, what do you think
about that, Phillip?

I think that's
a very good idea.

I'll announce it at
boarding tomorrow then.

Tomorrow will be fine.

Right.

Oh, Julie, may I see you
for a minute, please?

I'll join you on
the bridge, Phillip.

Yes, very good, sir.

Vicki tells me that you two
are double dating tonight.

That's right.

She fixed me up.

I think she's trying
to take over my job

as matchmaker on this ship.

I don't know this
boy she's been seeing.

What's he like?

Jimmy?

He's cute, sweet, and
he's crazy about her.

Yeah.

Well, I know that
Vicki's growing up.

I just want to make sure
he's not the kind of boy--

oh, sir.

Jimmy's about as
aggressive as Bambi.

Believe me, you have
nothing to worry about.

Who's worried?

Julie, I'd appreciate it
if you'd do me a favor.

Look out for her?

Of course.

Thanks.

Oh, sir, there's
just one problem.

Yes?

Who's going to
look out for Jimmy?

Gopher (over pa): Good evening.

Main seating dinner
is now being served

in the coral dining room.

Good evening, Julie.

Oh, good evening.

Is miss James joining you?

No.

She's dining in her
cabin with Matthew saver.

Oh, I hope she fell
into something good.

"Tripped" would be
a better word for it.

Excuse me.

Monte, table , please.

Enjoy your dinner.

Thank you, Julie.

[Dinner music playing]

[Chatter]

Mm.

It all looks so delicious.

What do you recommend?

I recommend that the lady
have dinner with the senator.

It seems we've been
forsaken by our friends.

[Chuckles] Well, perhaps what
we both need are new friends,

won't you sit down?

Thank you.

I've already ordered.

And I saw this beautiful
cashmere shawl for mother.

It's perfect.

Toots, you could spend
money around the clock.

Maybe mother would
prefer a clock.

Oh, you're an
impulsive shopper.

I bet you can't go one day
without buying something.

Hm.

Don't be ridiculous.

I could go a week.

I bet I could go an entire
month without spending

a thin dime if I had to.

Forget a month.

I'll bet you--
better still, I'll

give you $, if you can
go for the rest of this trip

without buying a single thing.

No cash, no credit cards,
no traveler's checks,

not one single purchase.

$,?

Are you serious, Robert?

$,?

Do you know what I
could do with $,?

And if I win, do I get to
spend it any way I want to?

Absolutely.

Oh!

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Darling, you're on.

[Chuckles]

Hm.

Gopher.

Hm?

See that guy sitting--

don't point.

Look at that guy
sitting by himself.

Doesn't he looks suspicious?

Gopher: You mean that
guy with the shifty look?

Isaac: Yeah.
Gopher: And the beady eyes?

Isaac: Uh-huh.

Gopher: Trying to
hide behind his menu?

Yeah.

Looks ok to me.

Isaac, you know something?

You are driving me
crazy with this.

Ever since you started to write
this book, everybody you see

looks suspicious.

Excuse me.

Sorry I'm late.

There's a lady back
there who looks familiar.

I think I know that face.

Maybe she's one
of your ex-wives.

Well, she might just look
like someone, you know?

I know who she looks like.

[Laughs]

She looks like a woman
who's about to fall

very much in love.

You look ravishing.

Do you intend
to ravish me, sir?

The thought had
occurred to me.

Are you married?

No.

Why do you ask?

Just curious.

You're hiding something
I should know about?

There's been a man watching
us since we came aboard.

I've never seen him
before in my life.

Maybe he fancies you.

He's not my type.

I could have told him that.

[Dramatic music playing]

[Theme music playing]

[Slow music playing]

[Chatter]

Vicki, you're a
pretty good dancer.

Oh, well, you're pretty
good yourself, Jimmy.

I don't know about
my dancing being good,

but I feel great
just being with you.

Your brother and Vicki seem
to be hitting it off real well.

Oh, I hope so.

As you probably noticed,
he's very shy with girls.

Well, I think a few lessons
from his older brother

and things will be just fine.

Captain?

Yes?

I was wondering
if you'd do me,

us, a favor and hold
on to this check

until the end of the cruise.

Well, certainly.

$,, this is made
out to Mrs. Savage.

Yes, Robert bet me I
couldn't go the entire trip

without spending another penny.
Isn't that ridiculous?

[Laughs]

Yes.

So when we get back to
Los Angeles, captain,

and then she hasn't spent
any money, the check is hers.

Well, good luck.

She'll need it.

[Laughs]

Mr. Savage isn't afraid to put
his money where his mouth is.

He knows what he's doing.

Better to give her
$, not to shop

than watch her spend $,.

What's that perfume?

Oh, you be careful, Dan.

It's ruthless.

Ruthless.

Mm.

You don't feel ruthless.

You feel [inaudible].

Mm.

What's your Cologne?

I'm not wearing any.

Good.

That's the way I
like my men-- basic.

You're a lawyer?

Huh, you never told me.

Well, I am.

Now hold me close,
or I'll sue you.

Boy, that was fun.

We must have been
dancing for hours.

We were.

But if I'm going to be
half as much fun tomorrow,

I think I'd better
get some sleep.

Yeah, me too.

Maybe we can do
it again, Vicki.

Oh, I'd love to.

I really enjoyed
myself tonight.

Thanks.

I had a great time.
We'll see you tomorrow.

- All right.
- Good night.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Julie?

Hm?

Did you really have
a good time with Peter?

Or were you just saying
that to be polite?

To tell you the truth,
when I agreed to double date,

I was just doing you a favor.

But now I think I
did myself a favor.

I really had a good time.

Well, good.

I loved her.

At least, I did
when I married her.

But people can change
after marriage.

Hm.

I know.

My husband and I were
so deeply in love.

I really thought it would
always last forever.

But it didn't go
the way we planned.

Take this cruise, for example.

When i-- when I came aboard, I
had only business on my mind.

Now I have nothing
on my mind but you.

[Theme music playing]

Julie (over pa): Good
morning, ladies and gentlemen.

We've just passed the
outer Hawaiian islands.

And as of : am, we've
traveled , nautical miles

on our way to Hong Kong.

Don't forget bingo
this afternoon

in the carousel lounge.

Our jackpot's been
building for five days,

and you could be
the lucky winner.

[Phone ringing]

Yes, this is Charles Dane.

Oh, hello, colonel.

Thanks for calling me back.

Did you get any information
on that man I described?

Nothing, Charles.

And I swear we don't
have a man tailing you

if that's what you're thinking.

I'll buy that colonel.

Have you checked out
the woman, leni martek?

Yes.

We did a rundown on her.

She's clean.

Any reason to suspect her?

Oh, not particularly, but
she seemed very attracted to me

very quickly.

Hm?

Oh, sure.

Sure, yes, yes.

I keep forgetting how
irresistible I am.

Thank you, colonel.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Charles.

I wonder how Mrs.
savage is doing

holding up her end of the bet.

[Chuckles] What a bet.

Can you imagine her
husband offering her

$, just for not shopping?

That's what I call
being a sport.

No.

That's what I call a man
betting on a sure thing.

It must be tough on her.

Right now, she's like
a compulsive eater

on a starvation diet.

Yeah, I remember how
tough it was on you

that time you gave up women.

Ooh.

Yeah, I'll never
forget that day.

You know, I actually
feel sorry for Mrs. Savage.

But then I've always been
a sucker for the underdog.

You know, maybe we
could help her out,

just kind of' keep a watchful
eye on her or something.

Yeah, you mean like kind of
steer her away from temptation.

You know what
that reminds me of?

The old joke about a woman
whose credit card was stolen,

but her husband didn't report
it because the guy who stole it

was spending less than she was.

[Laughs]

Guys?

Nothing.

Salesperson: Isn't it lovely?

Eleanor: [Gasps] It really is.

- Why don't you try it on?
- Oh, no.

I can't.

I can't.

I was really just browsing.

It's on sale.

It's on sale?

Only $.

[Gasps]

Reduced from $,.

[Gasps] Oh, my
goodness, really?

Well, it wouldn't
hurt just to try.

Oh, that is beautiful.

I must have it.

Well, Mrs. Savage.

Oh, hello, captain.

Hello.

How's your bet going?

Oh, fine, just fine.

I was just browsing, and
I came here, in here.

And this lady was interested
in buying this necklace.

So she asked me to try it on.

And I said I would.

And I think it's really
beautiful, Shirley.

I think you should buy it.
Bye.

Oh, well, captain, I wasn't--

no, don't worry about
Mrs. Savage, Shirley.

She's just going through
credit card withdrawal.

Don't worry.

I'm sure your mother
will love meeting

your new American son-in-law.

Oh, Julie!

Yeah?

Oh, Vicki, Jimmy
was looking for you.

Did he find you?
- Yeah.

He wanted to know if we could
make a double date for a tour

of Hong Kong when we get there.

And I said yes.

Well, you will double
with us, won't you?

Well, since you've
already said yes for me,

do I have a choice?

No.

Besides, you're such a
great date maker, I'd love to.

Oh, good.

[Theme music playing]

[Laughter]

Well, we're glad you had
dinner with us tonight.

We haven't seen much
of you two today.

Well, you won't see much
more of us tonight either.

Oh, lawyers do have a
way with words, don't they?

- Good night.
- Good night.

Good night.

Something on the
senatorial mind?

I can't decide if you're
more beautiful in the morning

or at night.

Oh, keep that up,
senator, and you'll

definitely get the women's
vote, especially mine.

You know, Polly,
they say in Washington

that a wifeless
senator never gets

invited to the right dinners.

My problem has been
that I never found

the right woman to take to
those dinners, that is until--

Dan, we've known each
other less than a week.

I know.

We've had a lot of wine.

Mm.

- It's a romantic setting.
- Mm.

You've got a beautiful
dress, fantastic dress.

Oh, thank you.

The moon-- but that isn't it.

It's as though I've been
expecting you all my life,

and suddenly you're here.

[Romantic music playing]

You know, Robert, with that
tan, you look so handsome.

I mean, you always
look handsome.

But with that tan, you look
devastatingly handsome.

Thank you, darling.

You know, honey, I've been
thinking about that silly bet

we made with one another.

It was so silly.

And you know what
I've been thinking?

Instead of $, for
not shopping at all,

why don't we make it $,?

And I'll only shop in Hong Kong.

Please.

We're only going to Hong Kong.

Please.

Robert, I ask so little of you.

Eleanor, don't beg.

It doesn't become you.

Come on.

Let's go to bed.

What's it worth to you?

Yes?

Who is it?

A passing stranger.

Hiya, cowboy.

Did you order cold
champagne and a warm woman?

You must be from
the welcome wagon.

I hope you don't think I'm too
forward coming to your cabin.

Not at all.

It's a modern world.

[Slow saxophone music playing]

Love the outfit.

I'm a dream Princess.

I've come to tell
you bedtime story.

Well, I have the bed
if you have the time.

Surely.

It's about a man and a woman.

A man and a woman?

Gee, I was hoping it would
be about the three bears.

The bare part comes later.

[Theme music playing]

[Chinese music playing]

Julie (over pa):
Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Hong Kong, one of
the world's busiest harbors.

On our left, the port
side of the ship,

is the island of Hong Kong.

And on our right,
the starboard side,

is the peninsula of kowloon
and the new territories.

The island of Hong Kong
was ceded to the British

by China in .

But the kowloon peninsula
and new territories

were leased from the Chinese
for years in .

In , kowloon and
the new territories

must revert back to the
people's republic of China.

The official languages are
English and cantonese Chinese.

Hong Kong is a
utopia for shoppers

and the food paradise
of the world.

So don't miss enjoying
everything from Peking duck

to hangzhou beggar's chicken.

Remember, while in port,
our ship can be your home.

Or if you prefer, we can make
hotel reservations for you.

Have a good time.

It's all here in Hong Kong.

[Chinese music playing]

As soon as we finish this
meeting at the royal garden

hotel, let's do some shopping.

Yeah.

Now, where's a taxi here?

Over there?

All right.

There is the objective.

Oh, I can't wait to show
you the joys of Hong Kong.

It can't top the delights
of the last few nights.

You're a brazen hussy.

I'm a brazen hussy?

[Chuckles] Yes.

See, what's that male
counterpart of hussy?

Brazen huss?

No, no, no, no, no.
No, no.

Yes.
What?

Make certain this picture
gets into the proper hands.

What about the other one?

Expendable.

Only objective is important.

[Chinese music playing]

Vicki: Hi.
- Hi.

Sorry I'm late.

But I had to wait for Julie.

Oh, apparently you
didn't wait long enough.

Well, I'm afraid
that's my fault.

Someone had to watch the store.

She asked me to tell
you that she was sorry.

Where's Jimmy?

Well, he's back on ship.

Don't tell him I
told you, but he came

down with a mild case of hives.

Oh, that's too bad.

Anything I can do?

Oh, no, no.

It just happens sometimes
when he gets nervous.

Well, why don't we all
go see Hong Kong together?

Merrill, I think
we should let Peter

and Vicki go off by themselves.

I think we'll take in the
town at a much slower pace.

Well, the way
that sounds, Adam,

I should be helping
you across the street.

Are you sure it's
all right, dad?

Oh, all right.

But be careful, and have fun.

Hong Kong, here we come.

Bye.

Bye.

[Chinese music playing]

This is the bird market.

Birds are very special
animals to the Chinese.

[Chinese music playing]

Man (over pa): Miss
charlene Richards,

please contact the
hotel operator.

Charlene [speaking Chinese]

Edward, you've
done a terrific job.

The Macau location is perfect,
and these ads are just fine.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

I'll have the
contracts ex*cuted

and get everybody's
signature tomorrow.

Is that ok with you, Polly?

Yes, yes, fine.

All right, ladies, I'll
see you tomorrow then, huh?

- Thank you.
- Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Your mind isn't entirely
on business, is it?

Uh, sorry.

It's very much on Dan.

Is this serious?

Well, it's the
first time in my life

I've ever known
anyone who was more

important than my business.

Well, maybe it's
time you stopped

being so much of a business
woman and just be a woman.

Yeah.

Well, you know, I
think that Dan is

going to ask me to marry him.

And if he does, i'm
going to accept.

I think it's wonderful.

I hope it's contagious.

Well, so do I. Well, he's
out being senator today, see,

but tomorrow I am
planning a dinner that he

will never, ever forget.

"Come into my parlor,"
said the spider to the fly.

[Laughs]

Yes.

Something like that.

[Chinese music playing]

[Chatter]

You know, Robert, I've
forgotten how it feels

to go inside my purse, take
my credit card out, and run

my fingers over the numbers--

--.

This is no fun.

You shouldn't have gone
on this trip with me.

You should have come
with Karl Malden.

Oh!

Oh!

Robert, oh, look.

There's my favorite
cartier watch.

I've always wanted that watch.

Look at it.

It's so beautiful.

And I bet it's so much cheaper
than it is in the states.

What about the bet?

Ok, ok, ok.

But suppose you buy
it, and I don't.

Meh, what for?

You could buy it for
my Christmas present.

No.

How about easter?

Eleanor, it won't work.

Yes it will.

It has a guarantee.

[Horns honking]

You're a wonderful tour guide.

You know all the out
of the way places.

Well, I spent a
lot of time here.

Doing what?

You never told me.

Nothing important.

Somehow, I think it was.

Somehow, my past in
Hong Kong doesn't seem

as interesting as my present.

Am I your present?

Unless you have other ideas.

Is this right?
Right.

Thank you.

Oh, courage, Mrs.
savage, don't weaken.

Remember the check
I have for you.

I don't want the check.

I want that watch.

Oh, come on now.

You don't want to lose that bet.

Bet, shmet, these
traveler's checks

are burning a hole in my Gucci.

Then get rid of your purse.

If you don't have your money
or credit cards with you,

you won't be tempted
to buy things.

That so sensible,
it's ridiculous.

I can't stand it.

But, here.

You be a dear, and take my
purse, and watch it for me.

Oh, I can't walk around like--

please.

If you don't, I'll cr*ck.

Merrill.

Thank you.

- Madam.
- What?

Your purse is open.

[Chatter]

Hong Kong is the most
exotic city I've ever been in.

Well, I guess you've
never been to Indianapolis.

[Laughs]

I haven't been on a trolley
since San Francisco.

This is fun.

But I wish Julie and Jimmy
could have come along with us.

Me too.

But I'm having a
good time anyway.

Oh, what a beautiful beach.

I just wish--

Peter: I know.

You wish Julie and
Jimmy were here.

But you're stuck with me.

It could be worse.

This is repulse bay.

You know, it was named after
a th-century pirate chaser

called the "hms repulse."

Here, let's get a picture.

Smile.

Maybe they'll make a
postcard out of this.

Oh, hey, hey.

Do you know what
I like about this?

What?

It's like a bus tour
but without the bus.

[Laughs] You know what that
street up there is called?

Hollywood road.

Really?

Are you going to put
my name in lights?

Well, if I do in Hong Kong,
it will have to be in neon.

Uh, leni, why don't you go on
ahead and take some pictures?

I just saw an old
friend back there,

and I'd like to talk with him.

- Ok.
- Ok?

See you later.

All right.

[Dramatic music playing]

The slightest movement could
prove quite unpleasant.

I'll take this.

You might ruin the
lines of your suit.

The pen is mightier
than the sword.

Now, look my
friend, I don't know

whether you're here to
protect me or to eliminate me.

But in either case, I don't want
to see your ugly face again.

And if you want this,
just take a ferry.

When you're two minutes out
in the harbor, start diving.

Oh, another guy, man.

Let's go.

Wait a minute.

Gopher, I was thinking.

Maybe those are the good guys.

Maybe those guys are supposed
to protect Charles Dane.

They didn't look
like good guys.

Well, how do I know?

Nobody looks like
they're supposed

to look in the spy business.

Except us.

We're the only two properly
dressed for this occasion.

Hi.

Hi.

Did you see your friend?

Yeah.

I'm glad I caught up with him.

We had a nice chat.

- Yeah?
- Yes.

Great.

Quite a city,
isn't it, merrill?

Yeah.

So be careful, Adam.

I hear this is a hot
area for purse snatching.

Oh!

Oh, captain!

Dr. Bricker!

[Horn honking]
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Tires squealing]
Driver: [Speaking Chinese]

Oh, I'm so glad I found you.

Well, what's the matter?

I need my purse.

Why?

Never mind.

Yeah, but you said
for us to hold it.

Forget what I said.

Just give me the purse.

Mrs. Savage,
now, we're holding

this in your best interest.

It's mine.

Give it to me this instant.

Adam: You'll hate yourself.

Think about the bet.

Eleanor: Give it to me.

[Police whistle blowing]

No, that's all right.
[Inaudible]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

It's all right.

No, it's ok.

It's ok.

Just a little misunderstanding.

Thanks, doc.

She won't last another day.

Never mind her.

What about me?

[Cheerful music playing]

Here it is, Vicki--

named just for
you, Victoria peak.

Oh, what a view.

Hong Kong is really fantastic.

Don't give Hong
Kong all the credit.

What about your guide?

The best.

You know what this
reminds me of?

It reminds me of an old movie
I once saw on television,

"love is a
many-splendored thing."

Oh, it was filmed
in Hong Kong.

It's a classic.

You know, I wouldn't
be surprised

if we're standing
on the exact spot

where William Holden
kissed Jennifer Jones.

You really think so?

Peter, Julie's my best friend.

[Music - "love is a many
splendored thing"]

[Speaking Chinese]

Ok.

Thank you very much.

Ooh, jeez.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Uh.

Polly Sullivan?

I don't believe it.

You know miss Sullivan?

Oh, yes, yes.

She's an old friend of mine.

Do you mind if I
keep one of these?

Not at all.

I've got plenty.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

[Speaking Chinese]

Hi.

Who is it?

Julie: Julie.

Hi.

I waited up for you last
night, but I got tired

and went to bed.

Yeah.

I guess I was out a
little late last night.

Your dad told me you and
Peter took in Hong Kong.

What did you see?

Tell me everything.

I don't know.

We saw a lot of things.

I don't remember them all.

Well, I hope Peter has
a better memory than you.

Oh, did Peter say anything
about when the four of us

could get together
again for one of

our world-famous double dates.

No.

But any time, I guess.

Oh, good.

We'll work something out.

Well, I'm glad you got to
see Hong Kong with somebody.

Sorry it wasn't me.

See you later.

[Theme music]
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