08x12 - My Mother, My Chaperone/The Present/The Death and Life of Sir Albert Demerest/Welcome Aboard: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music]

Theme song: Love, exciting
and new, come aboard,

we're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Oh, my.

Ooh, already.

Ooh, thank you.

Thank you.

So this is fine.

Oh.

All right now.

Oh, come on.

There you are, Cheryl.

Aren't they beautiful?

I beg your pardon?

He means your buttons.

Howard manufactures buttons.

Yeah.

But not just buttons, no.

They're from the henicker's
flagship series, solid brass

with a marine motif.

Let's see, that's henicker,
Mr. and Mrs. Howard henicker.

Welcome aboard.
- Oh.

Thank you.

And thank you
for the solid brass

buttons with the marine motif.

Oh, the pleasure is mine,
especially if you paid retail.

Ha, ha.

Cheryl: You can't imagine how
thrilled we are to be aboard.

Yeah, this will be a real
treat for the little lady,

but she's earned it.

Is it a special occasion?

It's our th anniversary.

Oh, that's great.

years of marriage, huh?

No, years since
our last vacation.

And I don't mind
telling you, I need it.

We both need it.

Well, Cheryl needs
it to rest her eyes

from watching TV all day.

[Laughs]

I'll tell you
what, Howard, i'm

going to go get some brochures.

Here, I'll see if I can't
pick you up a joke book

while I'm at it.

[Sighs]

Your wife has a
good sense of humor.

Oh, if you think
that was funny,

you ought to try her cooking.

- Excuse me.
- Mhm.

Excuse me.

Could you please
keep this for me?

It's a little surprise
for my husband.

I don't want him to see it.

Of course.

One small, beautiful wrapped,
intriguing little gift for--

oh, I'm Mrs. Howard henicker.

Mrs. Howard henicker, ok.

And let me give you a receipt.

No, no.
I'm sorry.

There's no time.
Thank you.

I'll come back for it later.

Thank you.

Did you find what
you were looking for?

Oh, Howard, you can certainly
pamper yourself on this cruise.

Look, you can get-- you can get
saunas, and massages, and hair

styling, and manicures.

Yeah, but lucky for
our budget, Cheryl,

we love each other
just the way we are.

Well, you certainly
came to the right place.

You'll have a great time.

Well, thank you, doc.

I can't tell you how much
I'm looking forward to this.

Good evening, ladies.

I'm Adam bricker,
the ship's doctor.

Good evening.

I'm Eve springer.

These are my daughters
Eleanor and Patty.

- Eleanor.
- How do you do?

- Patty.
- Hi.

I specialize in
beautiful sisters.

This cruise is a present
from my mom and Eleanor.

Patty just graduated
from high school.

With honors.

Congratulations.

Excuse me.

I'm Peter barkan.

And I'm offering free
swimming lessons to all honor

students with lovely eyes.

Oh, thank you.

I already know how to swim.

But if you're offering
a graduate course,

I may take you up on it.

Patty, come on.

We need to unpack.

If you'd like to
unpack in your cabin,

you can get the
key at that desk.

Have fun.

Thank you.

Eleanor: Patty.

Oh, Eleanor, she's
just talking to that boy.

She has that look in her eye.

Just because you made a bad
mistake at her age doesn't mean

she'll do the same thing.

She better not.

That one mistake ruined my life.

Judy (over pa):
Ladies and gentlemen,

the "pacific Princess" will
be sailing in five minutes.

It looks like it's time for
me to head up to the bridge

and earn my living.

Ok, captain, we'll see you.

Woman: Wait!

Hold it!

Whoa, whoa!

Ok.

Whoa!

Captain stubing?

Yes.

And you must be Vicki.

It's great to meet you.

I'm Kim Carlisle.

Remember my uncle wrote
you and told you about me

coming to work on the cruise?

The college I go to likes me to
take one semester off to work.

And you said, since
you and my uncle

were such good old
friends, that it'd be ok.

So here I am and ready to
do whatever you want me to.

Just say the word.

Well, i--

now, I know you're very busy.

So I don't want to
get you involved

in any long conversation.

So I'm going to go to my
cabin and get unpacked.

I know I'm going
to love it here.

You're all so friendly.

Ace.

Well, she certainly
is enthusiastic.

Yeah, you could launch a
rocket with all that energy.

Hey, listen, did her uncle
tell you what she can do?

As far as I know, nothing.

Well, then it
won't take very long

to fill out the application.

Ooh.

[Ship horn blowing]

[Chatter]

[Theme music playing]

Well, here we are, Cheryl,
years and six kids later,

ready to kick off the rest
of our lives together.

Howard, I thought
maybe we could

have a little talk about that.

Now, would you like to
have one of those drinks

with all the fruit and the
little umbrella on top?

That would be nice.

Ok, get me one too.

Yeah.

Howard?

Uh-huh?

You've been a
successful businessman.

That I have.

And, you know, now the kids
are all grown up and gone away.

And we certainly have
fewer responsibilities.

I can't argue
with you about that.

And I know you've managed
to put away a tidy little sum.

Our little nest egg.

Yeah.

Well, Howard, what
do you say we--

what do you say we
climb into the nest

and scramble that egg a little?

What?

I mean--

I mean, maybe we
could just start

to live a little differently.

And I don't mean
extravagantly but,

I mean, more comfortably or at
least reasonably comfortably.

Cheryl, look around you.

What do you see?

I see people enjoying
themselves, having a good time.

You're an optimist.

Beneath these
happy-go-lucky facades,

I see spiraling
interest rates, money

problems, huge budget deficits.

Cheryl, it's not
a pretty picture.

Ok, Howard.

I'll go get us a
lemonade with two straws.

Oh, and we can save the
little umbrella on the top,

you know, for a rainy day.

[Giggling]

Can't you let her out of
your sight for a second?

They're just two
kids having fun.

I know you mean well, dear.

But she's years old now.

We've got to let her
stand on her own.

We've only been here
a short while, mother,

and she's already with a boy.

She's just testing
the water, dear.

She doesn't need a lifeguard.

Why does your sister
keep staring at us?

I'm sorry.

She's always on my case.

It's almost like she doesn't
want me to have any fun.

Well, we'll have to sneak
some in when she's not looking.

You know, I hate to
say it, but sometimes she

acts like she's jealous of me.

Maybe she's frustrated because
she's never been married.

Hi.

- Hey, doc.
- Hey, Peter.

What's up?

Look, since I'm going to be
spending some time with Patty,

how would you like to spend some
time with her sister, Eleanor?

She's not married.

Oh, I'm on to you.

I keep her busy
while you two play.

You've got to watch out
for these college guys.

They're knaves and rapscallions.

I think I can handle it
even though my sister doesn't.

Here, Patty.

You're getting too much sun.

Thanks.

But Peter and I are
going to take a swim.

Come on, Peter.

Good luck.

Well, it looks like
love at first sight.

I hope not.

Why?

Peter's a nice enough young man.

I don't like fast romances.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

But later on, I may
move you to hospitality

when I find out how you get
along with the passengers.

Well, I'll try to
make a good impression.

All right, in the
meantime, I want

you to take some of
these ship's newspapers

and give them to the stewards on
each deck to put in the cabins.

All right?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Well, I'll get these
delivered, and--

[clears throat] Huh, thanks.

Yeah.

I always wanted a paper route.

Gopher, pick up that mess.

Judy (over pa):
Ladies and gentlemen,

main seating dinner
is now being served

in the coral dining room.

Hi.

Where have you been?

Oh, I just--

I just stopped to pick up a
little something I got for you.

Well, well, what
do we have here?

Thank you for
this lovely cruise.

I hope you like it.

It's a watch.

Well, it is, isn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, it's nice.

How much did it cost?

Howard, it's a gift.

You don't ask the
cost of a gift.

Well, I do when it's
bought with my money.

That was bought with money
I saved from the household

budget and my allowance.

And where did
you get the money

for your household budget?

From you, Howard.

And your allowance?

From you, Howard.

And where did I get it?

You worked very hard
for it making buttons.

And as I was saying,
how much did this cost?

$ , .

Yeah.

$ , ?

Shh.

$ , ?

For that kind of
money, I could hire

a Butler to tell me the time.

Don't bother.

I'm all the live-in
help you need.

$ , ?

Where's Patty?

Oh, she'll show up.

She always does.

I bet she's with him.

Who?

You know.

Oh, maybe she'll
bring him along.

It is a table for four.

Mother, you know
what I'm talking about.

She falls in love with
every boy she meets.

Wrong.

Patty is a very
level-headed girl.

You're only
imagining things be--

because of the bad
experience you had.

Yes.

It was an experience, all right.

Maybe if you
told her about it.

No.

Eleanor, she's old
enough to understand.

I said, no.

Hi.

Brought along a dinner guest.

Peter.

Hi.

Hello, Peter.

Have a seat.
- Oh, no.

Dr. Bricker's the guest.

He'll keep you
company while Peter

and I have dinner together.
Come on, Peter.

Nice talking to you again.

Sit down.

Oh, may I?

Thank you.

Oh, please do.

I am so glad gopher
assigned me to you, Judy.

Well, he knew I needed help.

So how have I been doing?

Fine.

Uh, did you seat the
people at table eight?

Oh.

I thought you said eight
people at table four.

It's ok.

I'll take care of it.

Good evening, Judy.

Oh, hi, captain.

How's Kim doing?

Well, she's made
a few mistakes.

Well, I made a few
mistakes my first day too--

as long as it's nothing major.

Uh, captain.

[Chatter]

What happened to my table?

Where's my crew?

Kim handled the seating, sir.

You're at table .

[Dinner music playing]

Good evening.

That seat's taken, sailor.

[Dance music playing]

Well, I can't really
blame you, Cheryl.

Until you learn
how to earn money,

I can't expect you to
know how to spend it.

I'll return the watch, Howard.

Of course you will.

Maybe now I can
afford that refill.

Would you like one then?
- No.

Huh.
I'll be right back.

All alone?

Howard's at the bar getting
an estimate on a drink.

Was the gift a big surprise?

Yes.

A very big surprise on me.

Howard's furious
with me for going

on a spree with his money.

Well, doesn't he realize
that it's your money too?

It's not my money.

I don't have a job.

Well, no, you
don't have a job.

But I'm sure you work very hard.

Right?

Do you know if a husband
had to pay somebody else

to do all the jobs
a wife does, well,

it would cost him a fortune?

You know what?

I never thought of it like that.

You younger women have
a very interesting

way of looking at things.

And I'm starting to feel
younger by the minute.

Hm.

- Hi, captain.
- Hi, Kim.

Vicki.

Hi.

Now, let me see if
I've got this right.

Ok.

One burgundy,
one Bordeaux, one

beaujolais, and one Pinot noir.

Perfect.

Ha, ha, ha!

The bottles were real
dusty, so I washed them off.

You washed off the labels?

How can I tell which is which?

Don't worry.

I'm not stupid.

I saved the labels.

Oh.

[Sighs]

I blew it.

Oh, that's all right, Kim.

Yeah, it could
have been worse.

You could have lost the labels.

Then we wouldn't know what
wine is in the bottles which

we don't know which is which.

It's so beautiful out tonight.

Eleanor, excuse me.

Patty's going to
wonder where I am.

Peter, we'll go back to
the lounge in a minute.

Come on.

I want to talk with you.

I want you to stay
away from Patty.

Why?

It's really for your own good.

Patty has this way of convincing
every boy she meets that--

well, that he's the
first one that she's

ever been attracted to.

Well, she hasn't
tried telling me that.

All right then.

What are you doing?

Patty may be too young
for you, but I'm not.

I really goofed
up a lot today.

Oh, you should have
seen when I started.

Oh, listen, don't worry.

Everybody goofs up
every once in a while.

Yeah.

Once in a while, ok, but i'm
going to make the "guinness

book of world records."

Good evening.

Hey, captain.

A lovely evening, isn't it?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Captain, I want to apologize
for those wine labels again.

Oh, well, you'll
do better tomorrow.

Look, I hope you don't think
it's because of your mistakes

I'm putting you to work for ace.

He requested you.

I did?

Yes.

Yeah, I did.

Mhm.

Well, good luck.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Oh, don't forget.

Flash those pearlies.

Well, I'm raring to go, ace.

So just fill me
in on the details.

[Sighs] Ok.

I take the photographs
of the passengers

at boarding, while they're
dancing, partying, anywhere.

And if I see a good
candid sh*t, I grab it.

Then we post the pictures
up in the purser's lobby

for the passengers to buy.

Great.

I can't wait to get started.

Oh.

Ok.

I'll go get my other camera.

Well, I don't want
you to fall overboard.

That's a valuable
piece of equipment.

Oh.

And so is the camera.

[Laughs]

Flash those pearlies.

If you want to buy
this picture, it'll

be hanging in the purser's
lobby in the morning.

My wife sees it, I'll be
hanging right next to it.

[Theme music playing]

What are you doing?

Well, you didn't like
my first surprise, Howard.

So I have another little
surprise here for you.

I hope this isn't
going to cost me as much

as the last one.

Compared to this one, Howard,
the watch was a bargain.

Maid, $ , a year.

Cook, $ , a year.

Laundress, chauffeur,
babysitter,

dishwasher, accounting,
seamstress, miscellaneous--

$ , a year times years.

That's $ , .

What is this?

What's it look like?

A bill.

Exactly.

It's a bill covering all
the sundry and myriad tasks

and services I have
routinely rendered

as housewife and mother.

A half-a-million dollars
to iron a couple of of shirts

and wash a few dishes?

[Laughs]

Howard, listen, raising a
family and running a household

is a big, full-time job.

I'm entitled to compensation.

Well, you can't expect
me to pay for something

that's rightfully mine.

Rightfully yours?

Yes.

Listen here.

I have contributed fully as
much to this little enterprise

as you have.

And it's time you
recognized that, darn it!

Oh, wait.
I'm just-- take it easy.

Give me that.
Give me that.

Give me that.

Now, just take it easy.

I am taking it easy.

Well, calm down.

I'm calm.

Just, here, relax.

Get under the covers.

You'll get-- that's it.

There you are.

Now we'll-- we'll
see what we can do.

Howard?

Howard?
- What?

What?
What?

That will be extra.

Gopher (over pa): Good morning.

For those of you who
don't want to be tempted

by blueberry pancakes soaked in
syrup or eggs Benedict bathed

in hollandaise sauce, a lighter
continental breakfast is being

served on the starlight deck.

Kim, anybody could
have taken that picture.

All I know is that I took it.

And ace didn't exactly
give me congratulations.

Well, it was a
natural mistake.

That's the way I
make all my mistakes--

naturally.

Gopher: What's wrong
with that picture?

It's a perfectly good picture.

What's the matter with it?

Yeah, it looks like a
happily married couple.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're happily married,
but not to each other.

I woke up this
morning, and this guy

was sleeping outside my cabin.

Good morning, ladies.

Good morning, captain.

Hi, dad.

Oh, can I assume photography
is not Kim's long suit?

Ah, well, sir, she tries hard.

I'll say that for her.

Yeah, captain.

And it's not as if
she's not intelligent.

No, no.

Captain, she's, uh, real smart.

- Mhm.
- Yes.

And so are you men.

I'm sure you'll find
someplace for her to fit in.

Mm.
Thank you, sir.

Yes, sir.

How about doc?

Yeah.

Ooh.

Yeah, but we'd better
tell him to double

his malpractice insurance.

You think that'll cover it?

Cheryl?

Hm?

I've given your
bill a lot of thought.

And I've come to the conclusion
that you're absolutely right.

You've been a great little
homemaker, the best.

Well, that's very nice
if you really mean it.

Why, of course, I mean it.

You've earned every
penny and more.

So you mean to tell me
you are willing to pay

the entire $ , ?

Oh, that's too cheap.

No, you-- you're
worth a lot more

than half-a-million dollars.

To me you're priceless.

Oh.

Oh, I get it.

In other words, you're not
going to pay me anything.

Right?

Cheryl, when we
get home, we'll

talk about your allowance.

Things are going to change.

I wish I could
believe that, Howard.

Well, look at this.

You're wearing the watch.

Yes.

And it that tells me it's
time to thank you properly.

What do you say we
go back to our cabin

and you slip into
some little nothing?

I'll prove, once again, the
best things in life are free.

You owe me that money,
Howard, every penny of it.

Where am I going to get
half-a-million dollars?

If it's financial planning
advice you're looking for,

there will be a consultant fee.

Oh!

Good morning, Patty.

Stay away from me.

Hey, Patty, why didn't
you wait for me last night?

When I went back in the
lounge, you were gone.

What did you need me for?

Wasn't Eleanor enough for you?

I saw you kissing her.

Oh, now, Patty, Patty.

I wasn't kissing her.

She was kissing me.

Oh, that changes everything.

Oh, Patty, you
don't understand.

No, Peter, you
don't understand.

Eleanor's my sister.

And I'll probably have
to speak to her again.

But you, you're no
relation at all.

Excuse me.

Kim: Your foot is in
good hands, Mr. Jackson.

Dr. Bricker is the best
doctor on the ship.

Yeah, also the only one.

Your X-ray ought to be back
in just a couple of minutes.

I'm sure this is nothing
but a mild strain.

That's a relief.

I would, however, like
to test your reflex.

Uh, reflex hammer, please.

Yes.

Well, your reflexes
are perfectly normal.

See?

I told you he was good.

Best doctor on the ship.

[Knocking at door]

Ah, that's your X-ray.

I'll be right back.

I'm training to be
Dr. Bricker's assistant.

That's wonderful.

Well, just paperwork for
now, but I'm trying to learn as

much about medicine as I can.

I've always wanted
to try one of these.

Do you mind?

Be my guest.

Oh, that's fascinating.

Can I try again?

Sure.

Yeah, I was right.

There's no problem at all.

Everything's just--

well, at least this time,
I didn't put my foot in it.

Is Mrs. Henicker here?

Howard, Yoo-hoo.

I've been looking
all over for you.

What are you doing?

Luxuriating-- every
years, a woman

has the right to luxuriate.

She won't need that.

Oh, yes, she will.

What's gotten into you?

Just the realization that I
am a woman of independent means.

Ha!

You have yet to earn
your first dime.

Oh, I've earned it, all right.

Collecting it is my problem.

From the man who's loved and
cared for you for years?

I've given you everything
you could possibly want.

According to you.

Do realize that I am dependent
on you for my next meal?

Well, don't worry.

Meals come with the cruise.

It's after the cruise
I'm talking about.

How can you demean the sacred
calling of a wife and mother

by putting a price on it?

I'm not demeaning it.

I'm saying it's honest
labor, which makes me

a self-sufficient wage earner.

But what about me?

I can't help you.

You're management.

[Applause]

[Theme music playing]

[Dance music playing]

Feels great.

Would you like to join in?

I'd love the company.

Welcome.

So, dad, have you
decided what you're

going to do with Kim yet?

I don't know.

She's worked with all
the members of the crew.

Everyone, that
is, except you, sir.

Isaac, have you forgotten
how she mixed up your wines?

No.

I thought she might do the
same for the captain's ports.

[Laughs]

Get it?

Wines, ports?

Well, her uncle
is your friend, sir.

Yes.

But I'd rather lose a
friend than my ship.

I'll think of something
for her to do.

[Dance music playing]

Kim: , , , , , , .

, and , and , and ,
and , and , and , and .

And , and , and , and ,
and , and , and , and .

, , , , , , , .

, , , , , , , .

, and , and , and ,
and , and , and , and .

And , and , and , and ,
and , and , and , and .

, , , , , , , .

, , , , .

Gopher (over pa): Bienvenidos,
ladies and gentlemen.

And welcome to puerto
vallarta, amigo country.

The temperature is
a breezy degrees,

perfect for parasailing
high above banderas bay

or browsing the boutiques
for hand-embroidered shirts

and dresses.

Enjoy your stay.

, , , , .

I win by--

is Eleanor gonna spend
the rest of her life

in puerto vallarta?

Oh, she'll be
back soon, honey.

She's avoiding me.

She can't face me after
what happened last night.

She had no right to
hurt you the way she did.

Oh, mom, she doesn't
care if she hurts me.

She doesn't care what I feel.

Patty, that is not true.

Hello, mother, Patty.

How was the village?

Well, I went for a long walk,
and I did a lot of thinking.

You were right.

This has gone on long enough.

What's gone on long enough?

I'll leave you two alone.

Mother.

No.

This is something
you have to do alone.

Patty, um, this is
very difficult for me.

I know this must be
hard for you to believe,

but when I was your
age, I fell in love.

And I thought it
would last forever.

It's hard to believe you
ever loved anyone the way

you try to keep me away
from every guy I meet.

Don't you understand that's
why I'm so protective of you?

I don't want to see you hurt.

I don't want you to make
the same mistake I did.

What mistake?

Oh, loving someone
and not realizing

they don't love you back.

He left me.

And then I found out
that I was pregnant.

Pregnant?

What-- what happened?

Well, did you have the baby?

You didn't have an abortion.

Patty, what i'm
trying to say is

I had that baby years ago.

I'm not your sister.

I'm your mother.

Patty.

[Gasps]

Judy (over pa): May I have
you attention, please?

The "pacific Princess" will
be leaving in two hours.

This is your last
chance to pick up

those special Mexican souvenirs
for friends back home.

Don't be late.

[Laughs]

Well, how do I look?

Like I'll need a
cosigner to pay for it.

Howard, I feel
like a million--

well, at least half a million.

That does it.

If you're determined to
charge me for everything,

and I do mean
everything, then i'm

entitled to shop around
and choose how and on whom

I am going to spend my money.

You know, Howard, i'm
starting to worry about you.

Oh, yeah?

Hm.

How much do you
charge to worry?

Last chance, Cheryl.

Well, it's your
last chance, Howard.

Well, here I go.

Oh, please, there's
no time to lose.

I feel faint.

Get me to the doctor's office.

Judy (over pa):
Ladies and gentlemen,

as we set sail for home, we
know you're taking with you

many fond memories of a
fabulous day in puerto vallarta.

Enjoy your evening aboard ship.

The stars and moon moonlight
are free of charge.

[Knocking at door]

Come in.

You sent for me, captain?

Yes.

I know I goofed up.

I failed at everything.

Kim, you tried.

And you didn't
fail at everything.

There was one thing you
did marvelously well.

I did?

What?

Aerobics-- the way you
instructed the passengers,

the way they followed you, they
said they had a wonderful time.

Now, why didn't you tell
me you could do that?

Well, that's nothing special.

I've always been good
at anything athletic--

golf, tennis, gymnastics.

Now, that's a talent,
a job you could work at.

Well, I didn't think you
could earn money doing something

you love to do.

That's the best
way to earn it.

So I spoke to the cruise line.

And they agreed with me that we
should have a sports director.

Captain, that's terrific!

I can do fencing,
archery, water Polo.

And I could just hug you.

Now, crew members
are not allowed to hug

the captain without permission.

Right.

Sorry.

Permission granted.

Patty.

I know you're hurting, babe.

What else and I
supposed to feel?

Maybe a little
compassion for Eleanor.

After what she did to me?

She didn't do anything to you.

What she did, she did or you.

Like lie.

She's had to
live with that lie.

Can't you understand
the torment she's

had to live through with
that secret all these years?

And what about you?

How could you let this
go on for so long?

Eleanor pleaded
with me not to tell.

You see, when you were
born, she was very young.

And she was very scared.

Well, what about later?

Later, everyone just
assumed you were my daughter.

We kept it that way.

Everything Eleanor has
done has been for you.

She truly believed it was
in your best interest.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I bet she did.

Patty, your mother loves you.

She needs you.

Well, guess what?

I don't need her.

As far as I'm concerned,
you're my mother

[piano playing]

[Chatter]

Hello.

Mrs. Henicker?

Oh, hello.

You know, it's is a
beautiful evening outside.

Don't you think you might
be happier out on deck?

I'm afraid it would
take more than an

evening to save this day.

Anything I can do to help?

No.

I've already done
all there is to do.

I-- I've driven my husband
into the arms of another woman.

Matter of fact, that
woman right there.

Oh, no. (Laughing)
I don't believe it.

Why are you laughing?

I'm afraid your husband
is our malaria epidemic.

What?

That woman said a
man fell into her arms.

He said he had malaria.

But by the time they'd
left the deck, he was fine,

and he ran away.

But now she's
afraid that there's

an epidemic on board ship.

Really?

[Laughs]

Oh.

You know, she
shouldn't have worried.

Howard's too cheap to
give anyone anything.

[Knocking at door]

Patty!

Oh, Patty.

Peter, make love to me.

What?

I really need to be loved.

Oh, but Patty--

don't you want to?

Well, of course, I do, Patty.

But I know that you're not
here because you want me.

You're here because
you're angry with Eleanor.

And I can't because--
- forget I asked.

[Chatter]

I never should have told her.

Oh, poor Patty.

It must have come as
such a shock to her.

Well, she had to
find out some time.

I'm sorry.

I feel like such a fool.

Why?

Oh, for coming
on to you the way

I did when you were
all torn up inside.

[Sighs]

Eleanor, she'll
accept it in time.

I know she will.

What she needs now
is her mother's love,

more than she's ever
needed it before.

Oh, that's ironic.

All these years I've been
telling Patty what to do.

And now, when she
needs me the most,

I don't know what to say to her.

Find her.

The words will come.

Howard, hi.

Cheryl, I don't want
to discuss the details.

You saw for yourself
what happened.

But you made me do it.

You were certainly lucky
to find someone so beautiful.

Luck had nothing
to do with it.

Oh, I don't know.

I think you were very lucky
to find someone that beautiful

who was also immune to malaria.

You caught me.

[Laughs]

Anyhow, you know I'm not
interested in other women.

You can barely afford
the one you've got.

Now, that's not funny.

Now, we've spent a
lifetime together.

We raised a family.

And it's been
wonderful, Howard.

But you're always
talking about money.

Money's always been
the overriding concern.

I just don't think it should be.

I've shared
everything with you.

Everything except
the decision making.

Don't you think it's
time our marriage

moved into the th century?

Well, maybe you're right.

I wouldn't want anything
to come between us now.

Money wouldn't mean
a thing if it did.

You still have that bill?

Right here.

And [sighs] I'll sign
everything over to you

if that's what you really want.

Howard, what I want
is a partnership,

a real partnership.

[Romantic music playing]

Patty.

What do you want?

Haven't you said enough?

No.

You were ashamed of me.

I was a love child.

A child I've loved from
the first moment I saw her.

If you loved me, you
would have told me.

I didn't tell you
because I didn't want you

to have to live with my pain.

Well, I'm living
with my own now.

Eleanor: I'm sorry, Patty.

I wish I could make
you understand.

I haven't known how to
handle this one mistake.

I don't know.

Maybe i-- I handled
everything all wrong.

You were the sister
I sometimes admired

and sometimes hated so much.

I don't know how
I would have felt

if I knew you were my mother.

Maybe there's still
time to find out.

[Sobbing]

You have a right to
feel whatever you do.

I just want you to know
that, for the past years,

the one thing that I
wanted most in my life

is to put my arms
around you and--

and call you daughter.

Patty.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

Well, I hope you enjoyed
your long overdue vacation.

Oh, it was more
than a vacation.

I found a partnership.

And we're equal partners.

I love my job, the
people I work with,

and the benefits
are outstanding.

And if he ever gets
out of line again,

I have another copy of the bill.

[Laughs]

Come on.

Goodbye.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Ah, goodbye, doc.

Ah, goodbye?

You have helped make
this a memorable trip.

It certainly has been.

You came aboard as two
generations of a family,

and you're leaving as three.

Finally.

Hi.

Hi.

Will I be seeing
you again soon?

Why, sure.

But only if it's all
right with my mother.

[Laughs]

Would you like to share a cab?

Yeah.

Progress.

- Well--
- look at this.

Let's hear it for the
new sports director.

[Cheering]

Brava!

Brava!

Thank you.

You're are wonderful.

And you didn't give up on me
even when I gave up on me.

I didn't give up on you.

Neither did I.

I did, but I'll
never do it again.

Gosh, Kim, now that
you're the sports

director for the whole
ship, do you know

anything about martial arts?

Oh, come on, gopher.

Give her a chance.

He's been studying karate.

Well, show me
what you've learned.

Hey!

Hi!

[Theme music]