08x17 - Ace Takes the Test/The Counterfeit Couple/The Odd Triple

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

Okay, ace. Now, remember,

when Ernie Jordan comes
on board, first thing you do,

take a picture
of him and Isaac and me.

Yeah, I want a picture
with the champ.

Yeah, that's right.
Hey, champ.

Woman: There he is!

[ Crowd murmuring ]

Guys, there he is.
Go for it.

-Oh!
-Hey!

All right!

No autographs,
please, though.

All right! Ladies and gentlemen,
the champ is on vacation.

Let's respect the man's privacy.
All right?

-No pictures.
-Thanks a lot, huh?

Uh, champ, could we have
a picture with you?

Well, uh...Sure, why not?

Oh, thank you!
Ace?

Okay, guys.
Flash those pearlies!

Galen!

Ace, we're over here.

Ashley Evans,
what are you doing here?

I work here.
I'm the ship's photographer.

-You?
-Yeah!

Lieutenant playboy
actually has a job?

-Ace, come on!
-Take the picture!

-Later, guys.
-Right!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

I hope we get to spend some time
together on this cruise.

I'm sorry.

I'm taking Mr. Jordan
to acapulco

for a charity exhibition bout
that I've organized myself.

I'm gonna be terribly busy.
-Mm.

And I imagine you're gonna
be terribly busy,

now that you finally have
a job.

Mr. Jordan?

Nice meeting y'all.

Right.

Thanks for the picture,
ace.

Yeah.

Who is she?

Oh, she's just
an old friend.

Well, for an old friend,
she doesn't seem very friendly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See anything you like?

Uh...yeah!

Over there.

The guy with the bow tie,
mother.

He's kind of cute.

-Him?
-Yeah.

Margo, remember,
we're on a shopping trip.

We're on a vacation,
mother.

A shopping trip.
And on a shopping trip,

you don't buy the first thing
you see.

You look around.

Hi, i'm, uh, Dr. Milner.

Oh, a fellow m.D.?

Well, nice to meet you.

I'm Adam bricker,
the ship's doctor.

And I'm Judy McCoy,
the cruise director.

Oh, yes,
that's aloha deck, cabin ,

right down that hallway.

Ah, thanks.

Glad to have you aboard!

Enjoy your cruise, doctor.

A doctor!

You know, he's kind of cute,
after all.

-Captain?
-Yes.

I'm Malcolm bosworth.

This is my son, Justin.

Well, welcome aboard!

Welcome aboard.

Uh, you are on
the promenade deck in cabin .

Justin, you're gonna
have a great time

on this cruise.
-Oh, you sure will!

We have lots of fun things
for you to do.

-Really?
-Mm-hmm.

Justin isn't here
for fun things.

Has Ms. Abigail foster
come on board yet?

She's to be Justin's tutor
during the cruise.

No, not yet,
Mr. Bosworth.

She's late.

Don't worry, dad.
I can work by myself.

Mom used to let me.

Yes, I know, son.

That's why your grades
aren't better.

Justin's mother
and I are divorced.

She felt that he needed
a stronger hand,

so now I have custody
of my son.

Well, sometimes a boy
really needs his father.

This one also needs
a tutor.

Every time I see another father,
I love you more.

Hi.
I'm Abby foster.

-I'm supposed to --
-oh, Mr. Bosworth!

Ms. Foster's here.

Thank you.
Hi.

I bet you're Justin.
-Yeah!

Hi, Justin.
I'm Abby.

I'm really glad
to meet you.

Ms. Foster,
I'm Malcolm bosworth.

You're late.

Whoops. I think I just lost
my gold star.

[ Both laugh ]

Justin,
why don't you run on ahead?

We'll catch up to you.

Ms. Foster,
I thought I hired a tutor,

not a comedienne.

I'm sorry. I was just trying
to put Justin at ease.

You don't have to worry
about that.

He's obviously
always at ease.

He's flunked out
of two schools already.

[ Fog horn blows ]

♪♪

Ace!

How goes it with galen?

Ah, it's no use.

She doesn't like me because she
doesn't think I'm responsible

or serious-minded.

Well, to prove
you're serious-minded,

why don't you get interested
in what she's interested in?

You mean, like, her charity?

Yeah!

And maybe she'll show you
some charity, hm?

Hi, doc.

I said, "hi, doc."

Oh. Hi, doc.

I meant to ask you when you
boarded, are you a specialist?

Um, yeah.
Brain surgery.

Oh, fascinating field.

Where'd you go
to medical school?

Um, Princeton.

Then you did it
the hard way.

Princeton doesn't have
a medical school.

[ Sighs ]

Well,
to tell you the truth,

i -- I'm not very good
with the women, you see.

And this guy
I work with, Jack Ackerman,

he tells all the girls
in the singles bars

that he's a doctor,

and they seem to turn on
right away.

So, uh, I thought
I'd try it on the cruise.

Don't.

Just be yourself.

Right.

I guess I'd feel
a lot better being

an unexciting hardware salesman
than a lying brain surgeon.

Mm-hmm.

And you'll save a fortune
in malpractice suits.

Thanks.

-There he is.
-So?

So the doctor
will see you now.

Mother, no, I --

why are you wearing this?

What?

He's a doctor!

Hello.
I'm -- I'm margo bush.

Uh, c-could I sit down,
Dr. Milner?

Oh, sure.

Please, sit.

Thanks!

I overheard your name
when I was boarding the ship.

Ah.

Well, then,

there's something I should tell
you about my being a doctor.

Oh, please do.
I just --

I really love doctors.

I, um,
I'm fascinated by them.

They're so interesting
and so dedicated, and --

would you mind, um,
rubbing this on my back?

Oh. No, sure.
Sure. Love to.

Thank you.

That's okay.

Oh!
You have a nice touch.

The sure hands
of a doctor, mm?

Well, got to be sure
when you're a brain surgeon.

A brain surgeon!

Justin, well,
why don't you tell me what sort

of things
you're interested in?

Go-carts, dirt bikes,

motorcycles, anything
that has an engine in it.

That's great.
You know what we could do?

We could go to the gift shop and
get some motorcycle magazines

and practice our reading
from those.

Um...nah, I don't need to
read anything.

I already know everything
there is to know about engines.

Go ahead,
ask me anything.

All right.
Um, spell the word engine.

Engine?
Sure.

"E"...

"N"...

"J," uh...

Well,
maybe I can't spell it,

but I sure can fix it.

I thought I left you two
down in the cabin, working.

What are you doing
up here wasting time?

Oh, we're not wasting time.

I just thought Justin and I
should get to know each other,

since we're gonna
be working together.

And from what I've learned
so far,

you have
a very bright boy here.

I know he's bright.

It's just that his grades
don't reflect it.

Well, I'm sure
I can help him.

It looks to me
like all you're helping him do

is get a suntan.

Justin needs a teacher,
not a playmate.

♪♪

So, how do you like
your accommodations, Ernie?

This place reminds me
of the th street gym.

Everywhere you look,
there's a knockout.

Excuse me.

Ms. Conover, I'm afraid
I've just received some bad news

from acapulco.

Mr. Jordan's opponent
for the charity exhibition

has been taken ill.
He can't make it.

Aw, what a bummer.

Now we have to cancel
everything.

The -- the children's hospital
will lose all that money.

I'm sorry.
If there's anything I can do...

Thank you, captain.

I'm afraid there's nothing
anyone can do.

-Ash, come on. Let's go.
-No.

-Come on.
-Hey, think charity.

Charity.
-All right.

-Hi, galen.
-Hi.

Champ.

Uh, listen, galen.
You know,

I -- I really admire what
you're doing for the charity,

and, uh...

Well, I'd like to give you
a hand with the exhibition.

That's very thoughtful of you,
Ashley, but there isn't

gonna be an exhibition.

Why not?

Ah, the guy I was supposed
to fight got sick.

And that was
before I even hit him.

[ Forced laughter ]

Well, listen.
Can't you find a replacement?

I doubt it.

Who are we gonna get to fight
the champ on this short notice?

Ace used to box
in college.

-Me?
-Yeah!

-Me?
-Yeah!

Oh...ashley, would you?

I mean, it might be the only way
to save the money

for the charity.

Oh, come on.

Nobody's gonna pay
to see me fight.

Are you kidding?
People love to see a m*ssacre.

It's just an exhibition.
It's not a real right.

Well,
this is a real nose.

Ashley, if, uh,
if you would do this,

i would be grateful to you
for the rest of my life.

♪♪

What's a little nose?

Okay. I'll do it.

See you at dinner.

-All right.
-Thanks.

Yeah, see you at dinner.

-[ Laughs ] All right!
-All right, ace!

-Ace, good show!
-Okay!

Gonna have dinner with you.

She's gonna have to feed me
because I can't move my arm.

Don't worry.
After you fight the champ,

all your feeding
will be intravenous anyway.

♪♪

Buenos noches, señoras,
señoritas y señores.

Tonight is Mexican night
in the coral dining room.

Enjoy a spicy fiesta of
south-of-the-border specialties

while our mariachis
serenade you.

Buen tiempo!

[ Mariachi music plays ]

Oh, I am so delighted
that you and margo got together.

So am I.

So am I!

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, and margo
has a wonderful background.

Finishing school did wonders
for her.

[ Coughs ] Mother!

And my husband, Maurice,
caterer to the stars,

he'll be so happy that margo
met someone on the cruise

who is of equal station
in life.

Mother, didn't you say you
wanted to turn in early tonight?

Oh, well,
in a minute, honey!

We can't be
to be rude to Walter.

So, tell us a little
about your background, doctor.

Well, uh, after four years
of medical school

and all those sacrificial years
as an intern,

I can honestly say I've never
appreciated being a doctor

more than I do right now.

Walter!

Aww!

[ Mariachi music continues ]

I want to apologize, Ms. Foster,
for my brusqueness today.

It's just that I'm so concerned
that Justin

get ahead in his schoolwork.

Well, that's what I'm here for.
Now, then.

Why don't we get down
to some real serious business --

food.

Good idea!

What looks go to you, son?

Uh...

I guess
I'll have the hamburger.

Justin, that's what
you had for lunch today.

He always orders them.

What about this?
That looks good.

Um, nah.
I don't like that stuff.

I want a hamburger,
or maybe a taco,

if they have it.

That's what I was pointing to,
the taco special.

Oh, well, I couldn't see.
Your finger was covering it.

He does this all the time.

You know what?

I always like to look
at the desserts first.

What do you think, Justin?
What looks good to you?

Forget it!

I don't want dessert!

I don't want a hamburger
and I don't want a taco.

I don't want anything.

Justin!

[ Sighs ]

He just
doesn't pay attention.

That's his problem.

Maybe nobody has paid attention
to his problem.

Excuse me.

You know, Mr. Jordan,
I'm a big fan of yours.

I'll never forget the night
you fought two-ton Taylor.

I was sitting ringside.

Were you the one
that caught him?

Oh!

You knocked a guy named
two-ton clean out of the ring?

[ Chuckles ]
What'd you get me into?

Hey,
what are you worried about?

We're all gonna be
in your corner.

Isaac and I are gonna be
your managers.

And I'll be
your medical advisor.

I won't need a doctor.
I'll need an undertaker.

Ashley, it takes a special kind
of man to climb in the ring

with Ernie Jordan.

How many fights
have you had, Mr. Jordan?

Please, don't be so formal.
Just call me Mr. Champ.

Uh, I've had fights.
-With knockouts.

Wait a minute.

How can you have
two more knockouts than fights?

Yeah.

Well, I also knocked out
two referees.

-Did you hear that?
-What are you worried about?

You're not a referee.

♪♪

Oh.
Hey, this one's fun.

Why don't you read me
a little bit from this one?

I told you,
I don't feel like reading.

I'm getting tired.

Justin, you have a tough time
reading, don't you?

No.
I can read whatever I want.

Then why did you try
to fake your way

through that menu
at dinner tonight?

Okay,
so I can't read everything.

That doesn't mean
I'm dumb or lazy.

I just can't handle
those words.

My dad doesn't think I try,
but I do!

I know you do, Justin.

You've just got
a problem reading.

And we are gonna find out what's
behind that problem right now.

Can you read these cards?

Sure.
That's a "y"...

-Mm-hmm.
-And a "k."

That's good!

What about this one?

Uh, that's a "d"?

Okay.
This one?

Uh, "b."

What about a word?

I want you to read a word
for me.

How about that one?

Saw.

"S-"a," uh..."W."

Saw.

That's what I thought.

What is it?

Don't worry about it.
You hop into bed.

It's time
for you to go to sleep.

I'll talk to your dad
about it in the morning.

Are you in?

Okay?
Good night.

Got lipstick on you.

[ Door opens ]

♪♪

Walter, you know,

I really should apologize
about my mother.

Sometimes she can be
a little pushy.

She helped push us
toward each other.

How bad can that be?

[ Song ends ]

[ Applause ]

Why does the music always stop
at the wrong moment?

[ Both chuckle ]

I'll, uh,
I'll get us another round.

Okay.

Mother, now that we're alone,
could we talk, please?

What was all that stuff
about at dinner?

The catering service,
the finishing school?

Walter is a doctor.

I just want him to think highly
about my daughter,

so I exaggerated
a little.

A little. A little?
You --

-shh.
-[ Sighs ]

I never went to
finishing school.

You finished school,
didn't you?

Finished, finishing.

Oh, why quibble about
one crummy little syllable?

Fine.
Great.

Could we quibble
about my father, your husband?

Remember?
His name is Murray.

He owns a delicatessen.

He is not Maurice,
caterer to the stars.

Do we have
a take-out service?

So?

So, when those sandwiches
leave the shop,

do we really know
who eats them?

Can you tell me,
beyond a shadow of a doubt,

that Burt Reynolds
never, ever ate

one of pop's
corned beef and Swiss.

Mama, I want him to like me
for what I am.

I do too, sweetheart.

I'm just afraid
to take the chance.

-Hi, guys!
-Hey, champ!

-Hi, champ.
-Hey, champ.

Ace,
I think that's a nice thing

you're doing
for the charity.

And don't worry.
I'm not gonna hurt you.

There, you see? The man said
he's not gonna hurt you.

The man doesn't know
what hurt is.

You'll both
be wearing gloves.

Uh, look, guys.
I have a long life ahead of me.

I'm not gonna snuff it out
for some girl.

I'm gonna go tell galen
the fight is off.

Well, there goes our sh*t
at the champ.

Yeah.

And we could have been
a contender.

You know,
I have to give ace credit.

Getting in that ring
with that champ,

even though it's just
an exhibition, takes nerve.

It certainly does.

I think I'm beginning
to see Ashley's true colors.

[ Chuckles ]

I hope his true colors don't
turn out to be black and blue.

Excuse me, sir,
may I cut in?

Be my guest, champ!

Thank you.

Hi.

[ Lounge music playing ]

Listen, galen,
I've been thinking, and --

so have I.

I've been thinking how very
brave and wonderful you are.

What have you been
thinking?

I've been thinking how very
brave and wonderful I am, too.

♪♪

-Walter, I --
-margo, I --

[ both laugh ]

May I speak first?

Because after I finish,

you may never want to
talk to me again.

I can't imagine my never wanting
to talk to you again.

Oh, Walter.

Listen, um, a few of the things
that my mother said tonight

about me and my family
were not exactly true.

Well, first of all, we don't run
a fancy catering establishment.

We own a delicatessen.

And secondly, I, um, I never
went to finishing school.

-You didn't?
-No.

I mean, I -- I couldn't stand
having a relationship with you

that was based on lies,
and I know you couldn't, either.

And you've been so wonderful,
you've been so truthful.

I just hope you forgive me
and mom.

And, well, I --

if we don't have truth,
we have nothing, right?

[ Sighs ]

Well, I --

I guess we have nothing.

What?

♪♪

[ Vocalizing ]

Galen,
the champagne is chilled.

I'm not!

I would like to propose a toast
to a man

I never realized existed,

a man of character,
a man of courage.

A man of impulse.

[ Chuckles ]

I think this is gonna be an
evening I will always remember.

-And in case you do forget...
-Mm-hmm.

...i hope I'm always around
to refresh your memory.

Me too.

[ Knock on door ]

A-Are you expecting someone?

No, of course not!

Galen.

Galen.

Galen.

Thought that we'd find
you here.

And from the looks of things,
we're just in time.

What are you guys
doing here?

Are you going
through with that fight?

Of course I am.

We're here to protect you.
You're in training.

-No women.
-Hey, guys --

ace, you'll thank us
in the morning.

But I'm gonna k*ll you
tonight.

Ashley, there'll always be
other evenings.

Doc?

I better stay here
in case ace comes back.

Doc?

Night.

Good night.

Good night.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

Excuse me, captain.
I have something in my eye.

Well, let me take a look.

Oh, it's out now.

But I have to learn this
for my teacher,

and my eyes are watering so much
I can't read.

Could you just tell me
what this sentence says?

Sure.

Oh, "Robinson crusoe."

One of my favorite books!

Bet you're having fun
reading this.

Oh, yeah, sure.
Could you just read it, please?

Hm.
"I let him know his name

should be Friday, which was
the day I saved his life."

Thanks, captain.

Ah, you're up early today.

Where's Ms. Foster?

Haven't you seen her
yet, dad?

No.

Me neither, and I'm glad.

I wanted to have time
to work by myself.

Dad, she's the worst teacher
I ever had.

She makes me do
stupid baby stuff.

Well,
I thought you liked her!

No way.

If I get a single word wrong,
she acts like I can't read.

I can read fine.
Listen.

"I let him know
his name should be Friday,

which was the day
I saved his life."

Oh, son.
That is terrific!

I knew you could do
that if you applied yourself.

So will you tell Abby
to leave me alone?

I don't like her,
and she doesn't like me, either.

Well, just try to get along
with her for one more day, okay?

Okay, dad,
but it's not gonna work out.

She really thinks
I'm stupid.

♪♪

Margo, maybe you can still
patch it up

if you just talk to Walter.

I don't want to talk
to him, mom.

He's a snob.

If he can't accept me
for what I am,

I have nothing more
to say to him.

Okay, fine.

Just let an eligible doctor
walk right out of your life.

Why is so important to you
that he's a doctor?

Because I don't want you to have
to work in a delicatessen

like I did.

I want more for you,
sweetheart.

I know, mama.

I appreciate it.
Really, I do.

But it's my life.

I have to do
what I think is best.

And that's your final word
on the subject?

Yep.

Okay.

Where are you going?

I heard there's a nice
young dentist on board.

I figured
I'll check him out.

[ Chuckles ]

-Morning!
-Morning.

-Hi, galen.
-Hi, Ashley.

Did you sleep well
this morning?

-Unfortunately, yes.
-Uh-huh.

Hey, champ. Want our guy
to show you how to do that?

Be my guest!
It's all yours.

Excuse me!
I have to b*at up a bag.

-[ Clears throat ]
-All right, Ashley!

Show 'em what you got!

-Attaboy, guy.
-Yeah, good, good.

Right in there!
-I'm impressed.

You certainly are a fine
physical specimen.

Yeah!
Our man's pretty good, huh?

-Mm-hmm.
-Hey, hey.

You're a lot stronger
than I thought!

I guess I'll have to train
a little harder!

Sure that's easy, after our man
loosened it up for you.

This is some sandpaper that
I got from the ship's carpenter

this morning.

What I want you to do

is to trace your finger
along the letter.

That way you'll start
to feel the difference

between the letters, okay?

Go ahead.

See, the "b" goes this way
and the "d" goes that way.

I want you to say the letter
as you trace it.

Aw, gee.

Come on.

-"B."
-uh-huh.

"D."

That's all good.

Now try these.

-"P."
-mm-hmm.

-"Q."
-see? That's wonderful!

This is going to be real easy
for you.

I didn't believe
what Justin was telling me.

Sandpaper?
Crayons?

Ms. Foster, this boy
is years old.

He knows the alphabet.
He's not in kindergarten.

Justin, I want you to keep
tracing these letters, okay?

I'll be right back.

Mr. Bosworth,
I need to talk to you.

I would have spoken to you
last night

about your son's problem,
but I wanted to be certain.

Mr. Bosworth,
he's dyslexic.

He's what?

He has dyslexia.

Evidence seems to show
that dyslexia is a disorder

of the left side
of the brain.

He's confusing one letter
with another.

He's even reading some words
backwards.

There is nothing wrong
with my son!

Would you just
listen to me, please?

Well, I've listened to you
quite enough!

He doesn't need
an amateur psychologist

or a kindergarten teacher.

You are through
as of this moment, Ms. Foster.

Oh, Mr. Bosworth,
I don't care about myself.

But don't do this
to Justin.

Look, his disorder can be
helped, only with training.

I mean,
if you're gonna push him,

he is gonna end up
frustrated

and he's gonna feel
like a failure.

And I don't think
you want that.

Please, think of him.

Oh, I am thinking
of him.

Are you?

Yes!

I'm going to be the father
to him

that I always
should have been.

I'm taking over
from here on.

Fine.

♪♪

[ Maynard Ferguson's
"gonna fly now" plays ]

[ Maynard Ferguson's
"gonna fly now" continues ]

Just knock on his door!

Mother!

Wh -- how are you going
to make up if you don't talk?

Mother, please!
I have my pride.

If he wants to talk to me,

he can come to me
and he can apologize.

Margo, why do you have
to be so stubborn?

-What?
-For once, just once,

I would...Oh.

Mother? Mo -- mother!

[ Groans ]

Oh, lord.
Oh, mother.

Just stay there.
Stay there.

Walter?

Walter! Walter!

Walter, quick!
-What?

-It's an emergency!
-What happened?

My mother!
We were arguing and then she --

she just collapsed.

Please, help her!

Uh, okay, okay.

Wh --
what are you doing?

Calling Dr. Bricker!

You're a doctor!
Help her!

I can't!
I'm not a doctor!

You're not a doctor?

-You're all right?
-No, I'm not.

I think
I have a hearing problem.

Did you say
you weren't a doctor?

I'm a hardware salesman!

I'm sorry.

Not as sorry as I am.

I faked this whole thing
to get you two back together!

You did?

Well, that was before she knew
what a phony you were.

Please leave.

Please, just go.

♪♪

Join us on the starlight deck
for the weigh-in

for tonight's charity fight
between the champ,

Ernie Jordan,
and our own ace Evans,

the Princess pulverizer.
Don't miss it!

Not only would you be helping
the children's hospital,

but it may be your last chance
to see the champ on his feet.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

before the weigh-in, I'd like
to make an announcement.

The exhibition bout
will take place tonight

at : in the monterrosa arena
in acapulco.

Tickets are now on sale
in the purser's lobby.

Ms. Conover?

Thank you, captain.

As you know, all the proceeds

will go to the children's
hospital of acapulco.

We hope you'll give us
your support. Thank you.

-Hear, hear.
-All right.

Uh, look.
This is really embarrassing.

Why do we have
to have a weigh-in anyway, huh?

Well, it's good PR.

It'll get more passengers
to buy tickets.

Oh, great. It's always nice
to have witnesses to a m*rder.

[ Chuckles ]

Will the fighters
please get on the scale?

-All right.
-No, one at a time, please.

Merrill, Isaac has written
a poem

he'd like to recite
for the occasion.

[ Both clearing throats ]

"There's lightning in his left
and thunder in his right.

One punch from the ace,

and the champ will say,
'good night.'"

[ applause ]

Uh, m -- Mr. Champ, sir,

I want you to know
that I had nothing to do

with the writing
of that distasteful poem.

That's right!
Ace does the fighting.

Isaac does the writing.

Hit 'em again, guy.

All right.
Listen to this one.

"At the end of three,
you're all going to see

our ace face the test
and lay the champ to rest."

[ Applause ]

Folks, I'll tell you
what I'll do.

I'll take on ace,
and Isaac, too.

[ Crowd "ooh"s ]

-What?
-He'll be there.

-What?
-Good.

And if you made any plans
for after the fight,

you'd better cancel 'em
for the next few days.

You wouldn't hit a man
with contact lenses, would you?

You don't wear
contact lenses!

I will by fight time.

Buenos días,
ladies and gentlemen!

Welcome to acapulco, the Jewel
of the Mexican riviera.

Enjoy a lazy day of soaking up
rays on a sun-drenched beach,

or for the thrill
of a lifetime, try parasailing.

And tonight, there'll be
some extra excitement

in exciting acapulco
when our own ace

and Isaac take on the champ
himself, Ernie Jordan!

♪♪

Doc: Okay.
Justin, now try the last line.

"B," "h,"
"s," "o"...

"W."

Thank you, Justin.

Justin, would you mind
waiting in the other room

while I talk to your father?

Thank you.

Okay. I'm sure you saw
that on the fifth line,

uh, he got all the letters
right, except some

were in reverse order.

On the sixth line, he got
everything right except the "m."

He read it upside down,
as a "w."

What does that mean?

In any of the schools
he attended, did anyone ever

say anything
about dyslexia?

Yes,
his -- his tutor did.

But my son is not Ret*rded.

He's a bright kid.

Mr. Bosworth,
dyslexics are not Ret*rded.

And with special teaching,

there'll be
no holding Justin back,

at least no more
than Nelson rockefeller,

Thomas Edison,
or Leonardo da Vinci.

They were all dyslexic,

and I guess you could say
they managed.

Am I okay?

Oh, sure you are, Justin.

You just have a bit
of a problem.

Yeah, I'm stupid.

No, Justin.

This has nothing
to do with your intelligence.

You have a problem,
but it's only a reading problem.

Hey, that's just
what Abby said!

Well, you see,
Abby's a smart lady.

Looks like
I owe her an apology.

And Justin,
I think I owe you one, too.

I've been riding you
pretty hard.

I was just trying
to get the best for you.

I know dad,
and I'm sorry, too,

about the things
I said about Abby.

I was just afraid
that you wouldn't want me

if you thought I was dumb.

Oh, Justin.
I love you, no matter what.

♪♪

I shouldn't have pulled
that stupid stunt.

It's okay, mother.

I know,
in your own weird way,

you were just trying
to help out.

I know that I've been
pushing you to find a man

who's successful.
-Mm.

I guess it's because your father
and I had to struggle so much.

I wanted your life to be easier
than ours, that's all.

Mother, I always thought
that you and daddy were happy.

Weren't you?

Very!

Because we loved each other.

And I'd like to see you in
a loving, happy marriage, too.

Money isn't everything.

What?

Do I believe my ears?

Is this
my mother speaking?

Did you really say that?

Yes, and if you quote me,
I'll deny it.

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, mom.
Walter lied to me.

Maybe he did it
to impress you.

Do you know what your father
told me when we first met?

No.

That he was the king
of Nova Scotia.

Later, I found out
he meant the salmon.

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, sweet.

Merrill: Ladies and gentlemen,

our main event
for the evening --

three rounds
of exhibition boxing

for the children's hospital
in acapulco!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Bell dings ]

Ladies and gentlemen,
wearing the dark trunks,

weighing pounds,
from akron, Ohio,

the formidable
and ferocious Ernie Jordan!

[ Cheers and applause ]

And wearing the white trunks
with the red trim,

for a total weight
of pounds,

Isaac "the poet" Washington...

[ Cheers and applause

hey poet,
I remember those poems.

Whoa-ho.

...and ace Evans,
the Princess pulverizer!

Big deal,
you pulverized a Princess.

Come to the center
of the ring, please.

-Hi.
-Hi.

So, are you all familiar
with the rules

of the boxing commission?

Yeah, yeah.
No hitting above the belt.

Yeah, hold it, uh, that's no
hitting below the belt.

Oh, sorry!
I always get that mixed up.

All right, gentlemen.
Are there any questions?

Yeah,
I have one for the champ.

How much do you want
to take a dive?

Remember, I want this to be
a good, clean fight.

When I say break, break!

Oh, I plan to break everything
in sight.

All right.
Now shake hands

and come out fighting.

-I slipped!
-He slipped.

-I slipped.
-He slipped.

Get in the corners.
Let's go.

-Come on.
-Okay, guys.

Let's get these robes off.
-Okay. Here we go.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Bell dings ]

Come on!
Give it to him!

Don't give up!

Come on! Come on!

Keep going!

I got him, ace!

Ah! Ah! Ugh!

Hold it.

I'll save you the trouble.

One!
Two!

-Ashley, get up!
-Three!

Four! Five! Six!

[ Bell dings ]

End of round one!

You're doing great, kid!
Great! Come on. Come on.

Saved by the bell.
Come on. Get up.

All right, kid. Crawl.
You can do it. Come on.

Two more bells and we made it.

May I sit down,
Mr. Milner?

Sure.

Oh, Walter.
Let me ask you a question.

Why did you do it?

Well, I never have any luck
with women.

So I just figured that if I said
I was a doctor,

at least there'd be
something attractive about me.

Walter, you have to have
a little confidence in yourself.

You don't need a medical degree
to be appealing.

You know, even before you said
you were a doctor,

I thought
you were very, very cute.

Me, cute?

And I don't lie.

Well, from now on,
neither do I,

especially when I tell you...

I love you.

I -- I love you too,
Walter.

[ Bell dings ]

Haven't even kissed you yet,
and already I'm hearing bells.

Turn around.
I'll be right behind you.

No, not this time!

There's no way I'm gonna
be the first one out there.

Did I do that?
-One!

Two! Three! Four!

Five! Six! Seven! Eight!

Nine! Ten!

[ Bell dings ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Maynard Ferguson's
"gonna fly now" plays ]

♪♪

Abby! We've been looking
all over for you!

You're gonna be
my teacher again!

What?
What is this?

We would like you to be,
if you still want to.

I know I've been impossible,
pigheaded.

I should have trusted you
from the beginning.

Doc confirmed
your diagnosis.

You know, with work,

Justin can become anything
he wants to be.

As long as he gets
professional help,

and if he has someone like you
to help him,

to work with him,
someone with Patience

and understanding enough
for both father and son.

So, Abby,
can you forgive the way

I behaved and come back
and help Justin and me?

I'm good with children,

but, um, adults
are a lot harder to teach.

But then, I have always loved
a good challenge.

-All right!
-Come here. All right.

We've got some work to do,
you know? You ready?

Gopher: Ladies and gentlemen,

we are now saying goodbye
to delightful acapulco.

And we'd like to say thanks
to all of you

who attended the charity fight
last night

between our own ace Evans
and Isaac Washington

and the gracious Ernie Jordan,
the ex-champion.

Ashley:
Ex-champion? Are you crazy?
He's gonna k*ll us.

Gopher: Don't worry,
he's a cream puff.

See you back
in our home port of L.A.!

I am so proud of you
for fighting the champ.

Mm.
-Aah!

Ow!

Ooh.

Ooh, baby.

Where does it hurt?

Y -- well, it -- it hurts
right here, a little sore.

Would you like me to kiss it
and make it better?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

But it really hurts right here,
a lot.

I'm beginning
to feel better already.

Me too.

♪♪

♪♪

Dr. Bricker,
thank you for everything.

Oh, please
don't mention it.

How's my patient doing?

I'm fine, thanks.

Not really.
He's in bad shape, doctor.

He's developed
an incurable crush on his tutor.

Maybe if it's contagious, dad,
you'll catch it!

You're right,
he is a bright boy!

-Goodbye!
-Bye.

Bye!

Judy: We hope
you enjoyed your cruise.

I think "loved"
would be a better word.

Aww!

Well, I'd say you came in
with the right prescription,

Dr. Milner.
-Oh, please.

I've retired from practice.

Oh, Walter.
You're still a young man.

It's never too late
for med school.

Mother...

[ Both laugh ]

Okay.
Flash those pearlies!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

-Got it!
-Hey!

Well, champ,
I'm sorry if my fighters

spoiled
your perfect record.

Hey, for a charity,
one little k.O. Is okay by me.

Just one.

The charity is very grateful
to all of you.

I'll never be able
to thank you enough.

Oh, I think you'll be able
to thank me

when we see each other
in a week.

I'm looking forward
to thanking you.

Yeah.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Okay, champ.

-Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye.

-Later, champ!
-So long, champ!

You're lucky
it wasn't a title fight!

♪♪