08x20 - Scandinavia Cruise: Girl of the Midnight Sun/There'll Be Some Changes Made/Too Many Isaacs/Mr. Smith Goes to Stockholm: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat
theme"]

Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard, we're
expecting you.

And love, life's
sweetest reward.

Let it flow, it
floats back to you.

Love boat, soon we'll
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love, love in
the water, love.

[Music playing]

Oh, look, there's Isaac
and his actress friend.

Oh, let's ask them if they
want to go sightseeing with us.

Forget it.

Last time I talked to him,
he almost bit my head off.

[Music playing]

Helga: Gopher, I am wanting
to show you a beautiful place

for to have fun times.

Gopher: Helga, wait a minute.

This is private property.

Right that, my papa's
private property.

Here for us only.

[Giggles]

[Birds chirping]

[Music playing]

[Clattering]

[Bleating]

[Bleating]

[Cheering]

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

I think you might
get very shy and leave.

How can you possibly say that?

After all, haven't we
just been skinny-dipping?

There was no one around, burl.

You didn't see all
those eyes staring at us?

Damn, nosey sheep.

[Laughter]

I never saw anyone run so
fastly in the cold water.

Well, it's a lot colder
if you're running slowly.

I know for this, what to do.

Hm?

Nuzzling.

[Moaning softly]

[Giggling]

More [inaudible]?

I think the other
ear is clogged, too.

[Laughter]

[Kissing]

Helga, Helga, Helga--

Helga, this has been
a wonderful day,

but it's getting
a little late now.

I think we should
head back to Bergen.

[Speaking foreign language]
Helga

has one more surprise for you.

What?

There are no more
ferries back to go today.

[Giggles]

Helga, why didn't you
tell me about this sooner?

Oh, burl--

Helga.

You are a very attractive woman,
but my career comes first.

[Whining]

Well, a close second.

Is that an inn over there?

Why, yeah.

Are we not being look-y?

Lucky.

Whatevers.

[Music playing]

Doc bricker:
Interesting, isn't it?

Captain merrill:
Oh, it's so pretty.

Vicki: Look at the view.

Doc bricker: Now this area
is called [inaudible]..

It's old Bergen.

Well, it says it dates
back to the th century,

and everything's been
preserved, the workshops,

the marketplaces, all of it.

Hello, Dr. Bricker.

Hi, Kay I'll
catch up with you.

Together: Ok.

Look at this.

Could I talk to you
frankly for a moment?

Of course.

You see, it's about Mel.

I know about the operation.

Yeah, I helped to
set up the surgery.

You did?

Mm-hm.

Oh.

Look-- I really like Mel,
and I'm worried about him.

I think you ought to
talk him out of it.

Well, unfortunately, he
has deep-rooted insecurities.

In his own mind, he's
uncomfortable and fearful,

and it's been bothering
him for years.

Look, I know you don't get rid
of these emotions overnight--

no, but the real problem is
if he doesn't like the result,

it's impossible to put back.

Doc, that's terrible.

Kay, you'll hardly
notice the difference.

What?

[Music playing]

Julie McCoy (on intercom):
Ladies and gentlemen,

as we bid farewell
to old-world Bergen,

we set a course for the
beautiful fields of ulvik.

Have a pleasant evening.

[Music playing]

Good morning.

We are now docking in hardanger,
another inlet in Norway's

magnificent fjord country.

Be sure to visit
ulvik, one of the most

picturesque of the many
orchard-surrounded villages

in Norway.

The scenery here is
beyond description.

[Speaking foreign language]
See you later.

See you later.

[Music playing]

Grant: Oh, this is so beautiful.

It's so unspoiled.

Like you.

Greta, you've hardly said
a word for the last hour.

Is there something
bothering you?

[Sighs]

I called my mom this morning,
and my papa's very ill,

and he's lost his job.

Oh.

Mama cannot work as she must
take care of the children.

Money is very difficult now.

I'm so sorry.

I think I must quit
teaching and find a position

that would pay more money.

Maybe a cocktail waitress.

Between the long hours and
tips, I could make much money.

You shouldn't have
to work that hard.

I must do something.

Greta-- why don't you be my
Scandinavian sunshine girl?

Then you'd have all
the money you'd need.

It's the perfect solution.

What a wonderful idea!

Why didn't I think of that?

[Music playing]

Kay!

Hold on a minute, will ya?

Hold it, Kay.

Mel, how did you--

what happened?

Why'd you run out of my cabin?

Look, I just don't want
to talk about it now, ok.

Ok, we won't talk about it.

What about the picnic?

I had one made up.

They got herring
and cream, herring

and wine, herring and onions,
and herring and herring.

Mel, please--

come on, you
wanted the picnic.

Why the change?

Do you really want to know?

Yeah.

Ok.

Look, I've been pursuing you.

I wouldn't take
no for an answer.

I should have understood
why you weren't interested.

Well, I'm glad you didn't.

Kay, I've been having
some personal problems.

Whatever reason would
I have for not seeing

what a wonderful woman you are?

You don't have to say that.

I mean it.

I guess I waited too long.

Now you'd just better
watch out what you're saying.

I can't help it.

You're a warm, attractive
woman, and I'm only a man.

[Gasps]

But that's exactly
what I want you to be!

[Music playing]

Julie McCoy (on intercom): Good
evening, ladies and gentlemen,

we are now leaving
hardanger fjord and are

en route to Stockholm, Sweden.

Have a pleasant evening.

[Laughter]

Wait, wait a minute.

A toast, to Greta lund, the
Scandinavian sunshine girl.

Greta, that's wonderful.

You know tomorrow
we'll be in Stockholm.

That's your hometown isn't it?

Yeah.

Great.

I can get some photos of
you at home with your mother

and your father.

Oh, that's perfect.

Yeah, the family feeling.

It'll be a great copy.

They'll love it at
the home office.

My family?

Well, sure.

It's going to be terrific.

Yeah-- terrific.

[Music playing]

Gopher, you must be
aware that this rumor

of your marrying Ms.
bjorsson is of great concern

to the cruise line.

However, they have
instructed me to inform

you that the choice is yours.

If you wish, you
can leave the ship.

Oh.

Well, that's very
understanding of them, sir.

Actually, it would be a
great opportunity for me.

In what way?

Well, I consider a future
with the bjorsson company

would be a great challenge
to me in the business world.

That's very commendable.

And the fact that
she's rich and beautiful

doesn't hurt either.

There's a lot to be
said for that, too.

Who knows, gopher, maybe some
day I'll be working for you.

Well, sir, do the job
properly, stay out of trouble,

we won't have any problems.

[Laughs]

Delia, I know you're going to
be a big star, a very big star.

You really believe
that, don't you?

I believe in you.

[Music playing]

What was that for?

Oh, no reason, I
just felt like it.

That's the best reason of all.

[Music playing]

God dag and good day.

We're now docking at Stockholm,
the capital of Sweden.

In Swedish, Stockholm
means "timber island."

The city is actually
made up of islands

supported by huge timbers.

There's so much to see
and enjoy in Stockholm,

we can only say,
[Speaking foreign language]

Have a good time.

[Music playing]

Good morning.

Isn't it a lovely one?

I guess I don't have
to ask if you slept well.

I certainly did.

Mel did, too.

Ah.

I mean, I don't know,
doc, these last

hours have been absolutely--

say no more, it's
written all over your face.

Did you speak to Mel about
canceling the operation?

You know I didn't
even have to mention it.

I think he decided
to change his mind

rather than change
anything else.

[Laughs]

[Music playing]

You are so beautiful to me.

There.

How is your gopher look?

Dressed for success.

Very distinguished.

Oh, gopher, I'm just
so proud of you.

Well, I guess you can make a
silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Things won't be the same around
here without you go, goph.

Thanks, doc.

Ah, goph, I'll
never forget you

were the one that got me
started with this crew.

Hey, don't pin that on me.

You're going to
dazzle them in Sweden.

I guess we've all been through
a lot together, haven't we?

We're family, goph.

Good luck, gopher.

Thank you, sir.

You people mean so
much to me, I just,

I feel like I'm the
luckiest guy in the world

to have all these friends.

Come on, gopher,
we must go now.

Bye bye, everybody.

Oh, not to forget
my party tomorrow!

Oh, you must see my
beautiful, new horse.

It will be g*ng-bangers!

Gangbusters.

Whatever.

Bye.

[Music playing]

Gopher: So this is where I work?

Helga: Yeah, your office is
on the top floor the building.

Gopher: I hope
it's not a walk up.

[Music playing]

Vice president?

Wet paint.

[Music playing]

Ta-da!

So, gopher, what you thinking?

Not too shabby.

I can always fix it up.

[Laughter]

I love it!

It's fantastic!

Oh, it's beautiful.

I've never seen anything like--

who's this?

Oh, that is papa.

With business he is away,
but soon you meet him.

Oh, you will like papa.

He is much fun.

Anyone can see that.

All right, here we go.

Oh, I think I'm going
to like it here.

[Laughs]

This feels good!

What are these buttons for?

[Buzzes]

These people's
consummate your staff.

Brun is answering phone for you.

Sven is reading mail for you.

And brigide, she makes for you
lunches and disappointments.

[Speaking foreign language]

Well-- at least, I
still make the decisions.

No, papa, the
decisions, he makes.

[Music playing]

I go now.

I have many plans for
the party to arranging.

You, will I be seeing?

Okie-dokie.

[Music playing]

[Sighing]

Bye bye, gopher.

[Music playing]

I'm going to make this work.

[Buzzes]

Just wanted to see if
you you're on your toes.

[Music playing]

Julie McCoy (on intercom):
Attention, passengers,

the buses will be
leaving for the changing

of the guard ceremony at the
royal palace in five minutes.

Ace.

- Hey, Grant.
- Where's Greta?

I want to get started
taking those pictures.

Oh, she went in to Stockholm.

She said she'd call and give
us her family's address.

Oh, good.

I can't wait to meet her folks.

Yeah, you know I love
those family portraits.

[Music playing]

[Music playing]

Kay: Mel, are you--

Mel?

[Chatting indistinctly]

I'm looking for
something really

special for a beautiful lady.

It's a surprise.

Mind if I look at this?

[Chatting indistinctly]

What the hell?

This would fit
her, wouldn't it?

I thought you were
still watching

the changing of the guard?

What are you doing here?

I would ask you
the same thing,

but I know what you're doing.

And I know what you got
behind your back, too.

You do?

Mh-hm.

How about a purse to go with it?

No, thank you.

They really don't go together.

[Music playing]

[Speaking foreign language]
This is a charming, old place.

We can get some
great sh*ts here.

Oh, look at this.

Oh.

It's got to be
the right address.

Maybe the bell isn't working.

I'll go around back
and check, all right?

Ok.

[Knocking]

Greta.

Hey.

Grant, you're here.

I'm so happy to see you, but--

there's a problem.

What's the matter?

My father, he's too sick.

He says he cannot see
anyone one right now.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Thank you, another time.

I think we should call it off--

we must have had
the wrong address.

No one lives here,
it's a museum.

[Music playing]

What's this all about?

[Sighs]

I didn't want you to
find out this way.

I'm sorry.

Where's your accent?

Oh, Grant.

I'm an American.

An American?

[Scoffs]

Listen, I can explain.

There's nothing to explain.

If we want pictures of a
Swedish girl with her family,

we'll go buy some postcards.

Come on, ace.

[Music playing]

[Buzzes]

Brigide: There's a Dr.
bricker here to see you.

Oh!

Send him in!

Send him in.

Doc?

Doc!

How are ya?

Good to see you.

Oh, my, very impressive.

It must be lonely at the top.

Well, doc, I'm not
at the top quite yet,

but I'm going to get there.

I've got a chance to move
mountains in this job, doc.

I'm going to get to do
everything that I ever trained

to do, everything I
ever wanted to do.

And you know we're
all rooting for you?

Hey, goph, we miss
you on the ship.

Oh, doc, I miss you guys, too.

But this is important.

Of course, it is.

Please, please.

Yeah, oh.

[Buzzes]

Oh, doc-- nice to see you.

Wait a minute.

Aren't you going to
show me your offices?

Doc, I would love to
do that, but I got this--

meeting, and it's
starting right now.

Oh, all right.

I didn't mean to interrupt you.

No, doc, no, no,
I didn't mean that.

No, you're not interrupting.

No, it's just that
this is big business.

This is high-Echelon stuff,
this is vise president--

[music playing]

Ow.

Excuse me.

Well, I found out one thing.

It's not lonely at the top.

[Music playing]

[Gulls chirping]

Hi.

Hello.

Off to sh**t the
highlights of Stockholm?

Yeah.

It's too bad I can't
show them to you.

I was a native until
yesterday, you know?

Oh, come on.

We all stretch the
truth sometimes.

You know when I signed on
as a ship's photographer,

I didn't tell them that I
didn't know how to develop film.

I just wanted the job.

Me, too.

But I lost it.

Worse than that
though, I I lost Grant.

I love him.

Does he know that?

I don't think I knew it
myself until yesterday.

I saw how I hurt him.

I didn't even have a
chance to explain how

I got caught up in all of this.

You deserve that chance.

Let me work on this, all right?

[Music playing]

What is the matter, burl?

Why are you unhappy?

I'm

ok.

House is not for
you big enough?

Helga, that house is bigger
than the town I come from.

Then what is it?

It's the job.

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, it's
what I'm doing.

No, it's more like
what I'm not doing.

I am confused.

Helga, I made my first
executive decision today.

Yeah?

I fired myself.

That is not good news, burl.

And I'm afraid that's not all.

The wedding is fired, too?

I really care about
you, Helga, but i--

I don't belong in this world.

What is it about my
world that is so bad?

You're an heiress.

And being a husband to an
heiress is a full-time job.

It's not my line of work.

You are no Helga loving?

Helga, you are worth
more than even you know.

You're beautiful, you're
smart, you're charming.

Thanks you.

You're exciting, funny.

That's it?

Helga.

That is many words to say no.

Look--

I understand.

[Speaking foreign language]
My heart.

You still to my party come?

I wouldn't miss that
party for the whole world.

[Music playing]

[Music playing]

Helga: Hello, my
sweets, how are you?

[Laughs] Oh, thank you
so much for coming.

Yes, you look
gorgeous.

[Laughs]

Oh, come in, how are you?

Oh, you look so beautiful.

Go on, you have a good time.

Oh, how are you?

Oh, you look gorgeous.

Oh, darling, I love it.

[Laughs]

Issac, how glad you could come.

Oh, darling, I love the veil--

you look so--

[gasps]

Ms. Bjorsson?

Captain, so glad
you could come.

Thank you very much.

You, devil, you.

Oh, this is magnificent.

Does Helga's family
own this, too?

[Laughs]

I think it's part
of the city hall.

It's where they have parties
with the nobel prize winners.

Ah, very impressive.

What happened with Mel?

It's not going to work out.

His problem again?

Afraid so.

Look, forget Mel.

He'll just to have his
operation tomorrow,

and you won't see
him on the trip back.

I'll miss him though.

The thought of
never seeing him--

he makes me laugh, doc.

I like him exactly as he is.

No one can convince
him of that but you.

[Music playing]

Hello, sir.

How are you, gopher?

I'm fine, I'm fine.

But things didn't quite happen
the way I hoped they would.

Yes, I heard about it.

It's good to have you back.

Thank you, sir.

It's good to be back.

Where is everybody?

Where's Isaac?

Oh, he's right over there.

[Beeps]

[Music playing]

Looks like he's trying to
set the guinness world record

for Swedish meatball eating.

[Clicks]

Same old Isaac, huh?

[Laughter]

Isaac (singing): Row, row your
boat, gently down the stream

together: Merrily,
merrily, merrily, merrily,

gently down the stream.

Delia (singing):
Merrily, merrily,

merrily, Issac's but a dream.

Isaac (singing):
Row, row, row you

boat, gently down the stream,

Delia (singing):
Merrily, merrily,

merrily, Isaac's just a dream.

[Laughter]

Delia, I love
to hear you laugh.

And I love you.

[Music playing]

I love you, too, Isaac.

Oh, look at the time.

I'm supposed to be at
Ms. Bjorsson's party.

Well, Isaac, what's
more important?

Me or a horse?

Yeah-- I mean, who cares
about an eight-million

dollar horse when I'm with
my billion-dollar baby.

[Music playing]

Helga:
[Speaking foreign language]

Welcome, my dear friends.

You know why I am wanting
you to come to my party,

to make meeting of my
beautiful, new horse.

He is a champion.

And many more champions,
he will be breeding.

What fun.

[Laughter]

Without further
ado, I am pleased

for you to meet my Helga's joy!

[Applause]

[Speaking foreign language]

[Beeps]

Don't anybody move.

Stay right where you are,
and no one will get hurt.

Get over there.

Get over there!

Isaac--

captain, you make a move,
and I'll blow you away.

[g*n fires]

[Shouting]

I mean it!

I'm taking this
horse out of here.

I don't want anybody to move.

This is a motion-sensitive b*mb.

Anyone breaking its beam
in the next minutes,

and you'll be part of
the Swedish landscape

for the next years.

[Beeping]

Gopher: Isaac!
- I don't believe it.

We have to stop him

don't move!

The b*mb!

[Beeping]

[Music playing]

[Tires squealing]

Mel!

Mel!

Kay.

I won't let you go in there.

Mel, you mustn't have it done.

I love you!

I love you, too, honey.

But after the operation, i'm
going to love you just as much.

I want to marry you.

But you don't think
that this operation is

going to change things
just a teensy-weensy

little bit between us?

I don't see why.

It's no big deal.

No big deal?

I will not marry a man who's
having a sex change operation.

Sex change?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I'm just going to
have my nose done.

Your nose?

But your nose is lovely.

And you don't want
to be a woman?

Oh, honey, you're so much
better at being a woman

than I could ever be.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

(Singing) I'm in
love with an angel.

Delia is her name.

[Knocking]

Come in, my love.

Hey, what did you guys do?

Decide to move the
party to my cabin?

You are Mr. Washington?

Yeah.

You are under arrest.

Why?

You don't like my outfit?

Why did you do it, Issac?

Do what?

Steal Ms. Bjorsson's horse.

Ah, I get it. It's
a gag, isn't it?

Isn't it?

We were there, Isaac.

We saw you.

Issac, we're your friends.

We're going to try and help you.

Hey, I don't know what
you're talking about.

I wasn't even at the party.

I was with Delia all day today.

Delia!

Delia, listen.

Will you tell these
people where we were today

and tell them what
we were doing.

What we were doing?

Well, I don't mean
all the details,

but I mean you and me
being together today.

Well, Issac, I don't
know what you were doing,

but I was out sightseeing.

Alone.

[Music playing]

You will have to come
with us, Mr. Washington.

[Cuffs clicking]

[Music playing]

Ace: You know the
statues here were all

created by the Swedish
artist Carl milles.

He devoted his life to
the completion of a park

for everyone to enjoy.

Julie: Take my picture.

Ace: How about right here?

Julie: Oh, perfect.

Ace: Let's see here.

[Shutter clicks]

Great, thanks.

You know it's too
bad about Greta.

But if Grant had to
hold another audition,

I'm glad he picked
millesgarden as his site.

Yeah.

The statuary is extraordinary.

Well, there are some
extraordinary things

at millesgarden you
haven't seen yet.

[Music playing]

You're very attractive.

Thank you very much.

Was she the last one?

Yeah.

Oh, Grant, if you don't
mind, there's one more I

think you really ought to see.

[Music playing]

Greta, the audition is over.

Just listen to me a minute.

I admit I was stupid to
pretend to be Swedish,

but no more stupid
than your company

for thinking they needed
a Scandinavian girl

to represent their product.

That was strictly
company policy.

Well, that's a
ridiculous policy.

You wanted me for the job
because I had the right look.

Nobody would have
cared if I were

from scandinavia or Scranton.

At least, I would have
bought your suntan lotion.

Ace, I appreciate
you're trying to help.

But I never should have come.

[Music playing]

I have some champagne
chilling in my cabin, Delia.

And I love sharing a toast
with my fellow workers.

I wish I weren't one of them.

Is something troubling you?

Isaac is going to prison.

As well he should.

He committed a dastardly crime.

[Laughs]

He did not commit a crime.

Oh?

You did.

And I did.

That's right.

You see that's why
I selected you,

a talented, young actress with
a desperate need for money.

I don't want your money.

Now you think it over.

I'm sure that Ms. Bjorsson
is willing to pay handsomely

to get her horse back.

Captain merrill: I know
we all saw what happened,

but I just can't accept it.

Doc bricker: And we know Issac.

A man doesn't just
change overnight.

Gopher: But we'll
get him the best

lawyer possible, right, sir?

Captain merrill: Right.

Good.

Oh, doctor--

no, no, leave me alone--

[beeps]

[Shatters]

Isaac: Don't anyone move!

That's Issac!

Don't anyone move!

It's not Issac.

It's just something
that looks like Isaac.

Don't anyone move!

Gopher, call the police.

[Beeps]

Isaac (sluggishly):
Don't anyone move.

Under the circumstances,
I assume a little bribery

is out of the question?

[Music playing]

Hi.

You in the mood for
a little reading?

Afraid not.

Look, Grant, I'm sorry--

it's ok, really.

I just want you to see this.

A little trick
photography, thanks to ace.

[Laughter]

Oh, Grant.

I went halfway
around the world

to find the girl next door.

[Music playing]

Welcome home, Issac.

Glad to have you back again.

Yeah, you know we had to
mix our own drinks, huh?

You know I saw the robot
at the police station.

It was amazing.

It sure was.

It looked and talked
exactly like you.

Nothing to it, gentlemen.

You created a masterpiece
of deception, Dr. Cain.

I take pride in
my work, captain.

In fact, how do you know
that I am really me, hm?

Excuse me, may I have
a word with her, please?

Was anything that
you told me the truth?

Just one thing.

I do love you.

Delia, I wish things
could have been.

[Music playing]

Gopher (on intercom): Good
morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome back to
southampton, england.

It has been our pleasure
having you aboard,

and we hope your trip
through beautiful scandinavia

was as exciting and memorable
for you as it was for us.

Have a safe trip home.

[Indistinct chatting]

Ladies and gentlemen
of the press,

I'd like you to meet Mr. Grant
Cooper and his new Scandinavian

sunshine girl, Ms. Greta lund.

Uh, not true.

Not true?

By the time the
campaign actually starts,

the new Scandinavian sunshine
girl will be Greta Cooper.

If she'll have me.

That means yes.

[Laughter]

Well, doc, it was
wonderful meeting you.

My pleasure.

What?

It wasn't wonderful meeting me?

Oh, look at this souvenir
picture that ace gave me.

It's a mountain over the fjord.

Isn't it magnificent?

It is magnificent, Mel.

But that's no mountain.

That's your profile.

Isn't it good to be able to
laugh at your own shortcomings?

Yeah, even your
enormous shortcomings.

[Laughter]

Thanks for everything, doc.

Thanks for sailing with us.

I make Jimmy durante look
like a button [inaudible]..

Gopher.

Helga, oh!

What are you doing here?

I bring to you a
good bye bye present.

Oh, no you didn't--

oh, yeah, yeah, watch.

Oh, Helga.

Yeah?

Try it on.

Ok, all right.

It's gorgeous.

It's beautiful.

Oh, super duper.

[Giggles]

And I am having one
more present for you.

Yeah?

Where's that?

It is under this fur coat.

When to Los Angeles I
go, you can unwrap it.

[Music playing]

Bye bye, gopher.

And you, Helga.

[Sighs]

[Music playing]

You know what I
don't understand

is why a smart guy like Dr.
Cain would bring the robot Isaac

back on the ship with him.

Yeah, neither do I.

Well, that's
how he got caught.

Yeah, I spoke to
the police about that.

And they said, the
robot costs $ million,

and Dr. Cain wanted
it for spare parts.

Hey, that's not bad.

I'm worth $ million
in spare parts alone.

[Laughter]

You're worth lot
more than that to us.

Yeah, I'm just glad we have
the real Isaac back again.

And for once, gopher
speaks for all of us.

Thank you, sir.

(Imitating robot)
Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat
theme"]