08x21 - Ace Takes a Holiday/The Runaway/Courier

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Love Boat". Aired: September 24, 1977 – May 24, 1986.*
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Set on the luxury passenger cruise ship MS Pacific Princess, and revolves around the ship's captain Merrill and a handful of his crew, with passengers played by guest actors for each episode, having romantic and humorous adventures along the way.
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08x21 - Ace Takes a Holiday/The Runaway/Courier

Post by bunniefuu »

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat
theme"]

Theme song: Love
exciting and new come

aboard we're expecting you and
love life's sweetest reward let

it flow it floats back
to you the love boat

soon we'll be making another
run the love boat promises

something for everyone
set a course for adventure

your mind on your new romance
and love won't hurt anymore

it's an open smile
on a friendly shore

it's love welcome
aboard it's love

[theme ends]

All right.

Everybody look happy.

The captain keeps a scrapbook.

Oh, that's a beauty.

Great.
- Thank you.

You'll get that to us
as soon as possible?

Right, sir.

Thank you.

Don't move.

Ah!

This will make an
incredible picture.

I know-- the
lighting is perfect,

and if I tilt my head
a little to the left,

the composition will
be exactly right

to immortalize me on film.

What are you, a mind reader?

No.

My father was a photographer.

Ah.

That was the line he
used to meet my mother.

[Laughs] Good line.

All right--
- ace!

Ace!

Don't forget-- the
chef needs a picture

of his welcome aboard
buffet before we

let the passengers loose on it.
Ok?

Right.

You got it.
Well--

- ace!
- Yes?

You know that family that won
the "most happy family" award?

Well, they've waited so long
for you to take their picture,

they're yelling at one another.

All right.

I'll be there as
soon as I'm through.

Now, miss-- well.

Looks like I'm free now.

[Clears throat]

Frank, this is
such a big ship.

How will we ever find her?

Don't worry.

She's here.

Why don't you look around for
her while I go check us in.

Ok.

It looks like you're
looking for someone special.

Oh, yes, I am.

I'm looking for my daughter.

Sandy: Mom?

Sandy!

Glad I could help.

Sandy!

Oh, my baby!

Oh, it's been so long.

So long.

Sweetheart, why
did you ever go--

oh, mom, please.

Not now.

Ok?

I'm sorry.

It's just that I've
missed you so much.

I missed you, too.

Hi, Sandy.

Welcome home.

How about a kiss for you
dear old step dad, huh?

I thought you said that frank
was in Detroit on business,

mom?

He was.

But the trip got canceled.

Anyway, isn't this better?

Now our happy little family
is back together again.

Happy little family.

Doc bricker: Hi.

Enjoy your cruise.

Vicki: Hi.

Doc bricker: Welcome.
- Hi.

Welcome aboard.

Hi.

The name is devlin--

Arnold devlin.

Stubing-- Vicki stubing.

Uh, that makes me bricker--

Adam bricker.

Doctor-- medical backup.

That's very good.

Excuse me, Mr. Devlin--

is that briefcase
handcuffed to your wrist?

That's my job, miss.

You arrest briefcases?

I-- I am an
international courier.

Really?

What's in there?

I'm sorry.

But for security
reasons, I can't say.

Not even if you pulled
out all my fingernails.

I don't think we want
to know that badly.

Sometimes it's gold.

Sometimes it's diamonds.

Sometimes it's
gold and diamonds.

Did someone just say
"gold and diamonds?"

I didn't hear anyone say that.

Me neither.

Must be my ears
playing tricks on me.

Would you happen
to have a light?

A light?

Certainly.

You ever thought about
giving up cigarettes?

You ever thought of
carrying your attache

case like everyone else?

Wait-- my name's Arnold.

Arnold devlin.
It was nice to meet you.

Bye!

[Horn blaring]

[Theme music]

Bartender: This is really
a good picture of the ship.

Let me see.

Oh, yeah.

Look at this-- you
made him look years

younger and pounds thinner.

Well, you see-- in the right
hands, the camera does lie.

I wish I could take
pictures like this.

But when I get behind the
camera, I just get intimidated.

It's all in the approach.

Especially with someone
of the opposite sex.

And that is definitely
someone of the opposite sex.

She looks unapproachable, right?

Right.

Oh yeah.

I'd say your chances there
are between slim and none.

Nay.

This is my key to
a new relationship.

Look and learn.

Excuse me, miss.

But the light is just right,
and the composition is perfect.

I've got to immortalize
you on film.

Well, I thought
you'd never ask.

You'll be my "Mona Lisa."

Plain old Lisa.

Lisa Baxter.

Coincidence made in heaven.

But you are hardly plain, and
I doubt you will ever look old.

Ashley Covington Evans--

ace, for short.

Excuse me, ace.

Dad wants to see you on the
bridge deck with your camera.

Thank you, Vicki.

Mm-hmm.

I hope you give rain checks.

For you, even sun checks--
in case it doesn't rain.

Bye.

[Sighs]

Ace, wait a minute.

Congratulations, ace.

Remind me-- if I'm ever
wearing a hat again,

I must tip it to you.
- Right.

Do you think that approach
would work for me with a man?

Sure.

Uh, but I wouldn't tell him
he's going to be your Mona Lisa.

I bet you've never
even seen the Mona Lisa.

No.

But I've read the book.

You look so--

so good, honey.

You're so grown-up.

Well, I am a year older.

Having a job and being
on my own helped, too.

Is that why you
didn't come back?

Because you wanted
to be independent?

It's because of frank, isn't it?

Is that the reason why
you didn't come back?

What makes you say that?

Well, sometimes a
stepfather is hard to accept.

Especially since you
loved your father so much.

Yeah.

Dad was something special.

Frank could be too, if
you'd just give him a chance.

He must have some
good qualities.

After all, I married him.

Mom, i-- I really don't--

sweetheart, try
to get to know him.

Please?

I'll try.

Ok.

[Jazzy music]

Arnold (voiceover): I made
my way onto the lido deck.

The life of an
international courier

is lonely and dangerous.

I had to be on my
guard every minute.

Absolutely no one
could be trusted.

At least I didn't have
to worry about anyone

carrying concealed weapons.

Wow.

Hello, there.

My name is Ellen.

Do you remember me?

(Film noir accent) Oh,
hi there, sweetheart.

(In normal voice) I mean--

hi, there.

Are you all alone?

Well, not exactly.

Do you have that handcuffed
to your wrist for business,

or do you just
misplace things a lot?

Business.

I'm an international courier.

[Gasps] An
international courier!

[Shushing] I'd rather
people didn't know.

Oh.

Ok.

My lips are sealed.

The only way
this leaves my side

is if someone saws my arm off.

Does that happen often?

Only twice.

And then you run out of arms.

I like you, Arnold.

What does your
evening look like?

A lot like my day, but darker.

Well, would you like
to have dinner with me?

Say around : o'clock?

Oh, come on-- I won't bite you.

Well, I'm trained
to withstand pain.

Ok.

Great.

Then I'll see you at : .

Arnold (voiceover): Why was
I falling for this doll?

It was one of those
questions you can't answer,

like "how did the
ocean fall overboard?"

[Theme music]

[Music fades]

Hi.

Well-- the
ubiquitous cameraman.

"Ubiquitous?"

Let me guess-- high school
English teacher from Chicago.

No.

A crossword puzzle
fan from des moines.

Ok.

Where do you want me?

On my lap.

But let's take the
picture first, huh?

Ok.

Here we go.

Uh-- yeah.

Yeah, that's-- that's
about it, right there.

Ok.

Yeah--

ace, do you really think
that's the best angle?

Oh-- sorry.

Just watching a professional.

Watching is fine.

But these are not talkies.

They're silent films.

[Clears throat] Yeah--

you know, I think
we could get a much

better sh*t from the stairway.

Kim!

You know, she might be right.

Ok.

Ok.

We'll do the old stairway sh*t.

Maybe up just a little higher.

[Clears throat] Ok.

All right.
Yeah.

A big smile.

That's it-- ah!

Are you all right?

[Groans] Yeah.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Hey, you're pretty lucky.

I don't even think
you broke your camera.

Ah!

Oh-- we'd better
get you to a doctor.

He may want to take
an X-ray of that foot.

Yeah.

And Kim can tell him where
to stand when he takes it.

What are you doing in here?

I, uh, take it you're
not pleased to see me?

Who let you in?

I told the steward
I was your father.

Stepfather.

We have to talk.

Don't touch me!

Ok, ok.

Calm down.

Now, look-- coming on this
cruise wasn't my idea.

But I'm here.

Now, for your mother's
sake, can you try to act

a little friendly toward me?

Like you acted friendly
toward me last year?

[Chuckles] Well, i'm
an affectionate man.

You-- you just misunderstood.

No, I understood perfectly.

And so will my mother
when I tell her about it.

What's there to tell?

You went looking for it.

You're disgusting.

[Tense music]

I should have told her
the minute it happened.

But you didn't.

And if you tell her
now, I'll deny it.

I'll swear that her sexpot
little daughter came on to me,

and I had to fight her off.

Get out of here!

Ok.

But remember-- before you
start playing any truth games--

your mother loves me.

And you wouldn't want to make
her unhappy, now, would you?

[Theme music]

[Music fades]

Ace: I really appreciate you
guys stopping by to see me.

But I am fine--

honest.

I told them we
could save the leg,

but they wanted to
see for themselves.

I'm glad it was only a sprain.

Me too.

Ace, I'm sorry.

It's all my fault.

Gopher: You got that right.

It's ok, gopher.

Listen-- I'll be up
and dancing in no time.

I know you're dedicated, ace.

But if you need
more time, take it.

Oh, captain--

captain's orders.

[Knock on door]

Don't get up.

Surprise.

Just a little dinner for
the ace who was sh*t down.

Good.

The patient can use
some nourishment.

Mm.

And I got a feeling this
is his favorite dish.

It's time for us to go.

[Sighs] Thank you.

Lisa: I can't stay long.

I'll be back later,
so we can spend

the whole evening together.

I'm going to do everything I
can to make you feel better--

like having your
own personal nurse.

[Romantic music]

Bye.

[Blows kiss]

That's what I call one heck
of a hospitalization plan.

Gopher (on pa): Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

It's Japanese night in
the coral dining room--

Sushi, sashimi, tempura, sake.

And don't worry-- if we
don't have your favorite,

we'll send out for it.

[Japanese music]

Now, let me see if
I've got this straight.

After you paid off the damages
that you caused on your job

at the crystal shop,
and selling vacuum

cleaners didn't work out, you
sold used cars for two weeks?

Right.

My boss was a neat guy.

When he fired me, he gave me
a great buy on a ' Chevy.

I still love that car.

I think of it every morning
when I'm running for the bus.

And then?

Well, then this.

I figured that the qualities
that made me a bad used car

salesman-- honesty, integrity,
straightforwardness--

would make me a great courier.

I've got my fingers
crossed for you, Arnold.

Thanks.

I really want this job.

I think it's right for me.

I'm trustworthy, i'm
reliable, and I have wrists

that just don't come off.

Let's toast to
your new career.

Oh, dear-- we need
some more sake.

Well, we certainly do.

Uh, waiter--
[Glasses clattering] Uh,

waiter?

We could use another
bottle of sake.

But this time, make it red.

You know, it's too
bad about ace's ankle.

How'd it happen?

Just the way
you might expect--

he fell for a girl.

Well, who's gonna fill in for
him, sir, while he's laid up?

I don't know if that
will be necessary.

He should only
take a short time.

Sir, I could cover for ace.

I mean, it's the least
I could do for him.

And we worked together
my first day on the ship.

Remember?

Sure do.

We almost had a lawsuit.

Kim: I was a little nervous.

Besides-- those
passengers looked

like they were happily married.

They were happily
married, Kim--

to other people.

Captain?

Hm?

I know I can do this.

Please, sir-- I owe it to ace.

Ok, Kim.

You're acting photographer.

Oh, thank you!

Oh, I just love a captain that
can make a "snap" decision.

Have you noticed the other
passengers staring at me?

[Scoffs] You must
be imagining things.

No, no.

It's true.

They're wondering how I
wound up with the two most

beautiful women on this ship.

Well, that's pretty obvious.

It's your sheer
animal magnetism.

Maybe I should try
to control it a little.

Yes.

I'll tell you something else.

I think anyone would find
it tough to figure out which

one of you two is the mother.

I think the salt
air is getting to him.

Oh, no-- I agree
with frank, mom.

You and I could
pass for sisters.

Well, if that's true,
there's a good reason.

My husband keeps me young.

Oh, thank you.

[Frank laughing]

[Melancholy music]

[Theme music]

[Lounge music]

Kim, are you sure you
know what you're doing?

I used to have
lots of photography

books in his dark room.

Oh, that's a good start.

Yes.

And tomorrow, I might
get to read one.

Excuse me, Kim.

Can I borrow this
for just a second?

I think I have a
date with destiny.

Wait a minute, gopher--

you know less about
photography than she does.

I don't need to know
anything about photography.

As ace says, it's
all in the approach.

All right?

Watch.

Oh, wow-- this light,
here, is just right.

And this composition,
here, is perfect.

And I would really love to
immortalize you on film.

Ok?

Well, i-- I don't know.

Well, no-- listen.
Please don't be shy.

All right?
I know what I'm doing.

All right?

Oh-- oh, wow.

Your legs are great.

Listen, do you think that
you could maybe just inch

your dress up a little
bit, so I could take

a picture of those great legs?

You know, a little cheesecake?

Thank you, very much.

Thank you, very much.

My husband doesn't
like cheesecake.

Ok.

Uh, well, then I'll
just go see the chef,

and see if I can get you
a piece of blueberry pie.

Nautilus.

Good.

Nice to see you.

Now-- which one of
you two lovely ladies

is going to dance with me?

Oh, I don't feel like
it right now, frank.

Maybe Sandy would like--

no.

I'm tired.

How's the family reunion?

Oh, just fine, Judy.

Can you imagine a
good looking guy like me

can't find a dance partner?

Unless you're interested.

Is he that bad a dancer?

Why don't you find
out for yourself?

Can you believe this?

My own wife throwing
me at other women?

Don't talk about
me while I'm gone.

I am the luckiest
woman in the world.

Are you and frank
really that happy?

I was talking about you.

It's so good to have
my daughter back again.

It feels good to me, too, mom.

You know, if I were
a little younger--

maybe, uh, two weeks younger--

I could really go for you.

You flatter me, sir.

You think i'm
kidding, don't you?

Well, I hope so.

I had the impression you
were a faithful husband.

Oh, I am that.

And a lot more.

I'd like to tell
you all about it.

But in a more private place.

How about meeting me later?

Hm?

How about no?

Now, will you excuse me, please?

[Sighs] Let's see, here--

a little music.

[Spanish guitar]

[Knock on door]

Come in.

Hi.

Ace: Hi.

How are you feeling?

Oh-- [chuckles]
Much better, now

that my night nurse is here.

What do you prescribe?

I thought a massage
might do, for starters.

I can't wait
for the finishers.

Oh.

[Groans]

Oh, I just love to rub silk.

I just love to
have my silk rubbed.

[Knock on door]

Acey boy!

Hi, ace!

Hi, ace!

Doctor's orders.

We're here to keep our
injured buddy company.

Look at this guy-- he put on
his silk pajamas just for us.

Oh, wow.

Look, ace-- we got
books, games, candy,

flowers-- all of this for you.

But I'm afraid we
can't stay very long.

Oh, hey-- it's the
thought that counts.

I mean, even if you guys
could stay only one minute--

even seconds--

I'd appreciate it.

Oh, we can stay
longer than that.

Gopher: Yeah.

We're going to take turns so
one of us will always be here.

Yeah.

Uh, where do you want us
to put the chess game?

On the bed.

I won't be using it
for anything else.

Great.

Good idea, ace.

Good idea.

So, how's the old foot?

[Guys chattering]

Arnold, where did you
learn to kiss like that?

Well, I had this job once--

never mind.

I don't think I want to know.

Arnold (voiceover): I was
falling for this dame hook,

line, and sinker.

Ow!

Arnold (voiceover):
And those sinkers hurt.

Your briefcase.

Sorry.

Arnold, I don't know
if you feel the same way,

but I really think we
have a lot in common.

Yeah.

The difference in our heights.

We're both not redheads--

look.

Let's go down to my cabin.

I can slip into something
a little more comfortable,

while you slip out
of that briefcase.

You mean--

that's right, Arnold.

We need some rules, here.

Now, if we're going
to continue this--

and I'd really love to, Arnold--

you're going to have
to check your baggage.

You know I won't
do that, Ellen.

Then guess what else
you won't be doing.

You'd let this
come between us?

When hasn't it?

But it's not just my job--

it's my integrity.

Well, I hope your integrity
keeps you warm tonight.

You're ruining my life.

I'd throw you overboard--
if it weren't for one thing.

I can't swim.

Thank you for meeting me, mom.

I really needed to talk to you.

Oh, it's good to
be needed again.

What's on your mind?

Well, I really don't know
where to start in telling you--

well, there you are, you two.

I'm getting lonely.

Is this only girl talk,
or can a man listen in?

Frank, would you mind
if I spend a few more

minutes alone with Sandy?

I don't mind-- as soon
as we give her this.

I almost forgot.

Sweetheart, we wanted
to give you this

so that you would know how happy
we are to be with you again.

Sandy: Mother, it's beautiful!

Thank you so much.

It's beautiful.

Really.

The watch is also from frank.

Yeah.

I deserve a kiss, too.

Hm?

Go on, Sandy.

I'm going to my cabin now.

Goodnight, mother.

Something is
really bothering her.

I've got to find out what it is.

[Ominous music]

[Theme music]

Judy (on pa): For
you early risers,

there is a continental
breakfast on the lido deck.

For you late sleepers, a
breakfast buffet will be

served on the starlight deck.

You know, I have the
feeling that I'm eating alone.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I think you should stop
worrying about Sandy,

and let her solve
her own problems.

Without any help from momma.

But it's just not like her.

You two haven't had
words, have you?

No.

Why?

I just keep thinking about
her attitude toward you.

It's normal to be a little
resentful of a new stepfather,

but she has such
animosity, such hostility.

I know.

I don't understand it, either.

I've always tried
to be nice to her.

Judy.

Hi, Irene.

Frank.

Hi.

I must say, you look as
pretty in the morning

as you do at night.

I guess that's something
that just goes with naturally

beautiful women, hm?

Have you seen
Sandy this morning?

Well, yes.

We had exercise class together.

Maybe she went back to bed.

I hope she's all right.

Oh, I'm sure she is.

But if I do see her, I'll tell
her you're looking for her.

Thanks.

Bye-bye.

What a lovely girl.

Yeah.

I like that type.

I, uh-- I brought this on
the off chance you'd accept it.

[Sighs] Well, um--

i-- I wrote a speech, on the
off chance you'd listen to it.

I'm really sorry.

I guess I just brought
down the curtain a little

early last night.

Well, there's still
time to catch a matinee,

and perhaps a few curtain calls.

In fact, why don't you take
me all the way to South America?

What?

Well, we could run away with
whatever's in that briefcase.

I mean, there could be a
million dollars in there.

A tax-free million.

Just think-- Brazil.

A man, a woman.

Sun, sand--

and blood hounds
and wanted posters.

I suppose.

Well, we could still spend a
day together in manzanilla.

I'd love to.

But we have to be
back by : tonight.

A gentleman is coming by
to pick up the briefcase.

Ok.

Well, what time is it now?

It's, uh--

I'm no dummy.

I moved the watch
to the other hand.

It's : .

Well, great--
that gives us about

hours to spend together.

Come on.

Let's make the most of it.

Ok!

[Theme music]

Judy (on pa): Ladies
and gentlemen,

welcome to sunny
manzanilla-- one of Mexico's

delightful surprises.

From it's endless unspoiled
beaches to it's modern hotels

with white domes, minarets
and archways that call back

centuries of moorish
architectural tradition,

you'll find every moment
fulfilling and exciting.

Enjoy it all.

At the buzzer--
three, two, one!

No wonder I was a swimmer.

[Knock on door]

Uh-- (pained voice) It's open.

[Ace groaning]

Hello, ace.

Ace: Oh, hi, captain.

Goph.

How's the old
battle extremity?

Uh, it's coming along.

Why?

Well, Kim has replaced
you temporarily.

And I'm afraid her work
leaves a bit to be desired.

Kim is doing my job?

Captain, I think I
can go back to work.

No, ace.

Not until you're
completely healed.

Or maybe sooner.

Take care, ace.

We'll see you again.

Ok, cap.

See you, goph.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, Lisa.

Listen.

I--

listen up later, ace.

I'm going into town to
buy something very special

to wear for when I come
visit my patient tonight.

Oh.

[Romantic music]

See you later.

See you later.

I should go back to work.

But first, there is tonight!

[Exclaims]

Sandy?

Hi, Judy.

Are you ok?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

No.

I'm not fine.

I wish I wasn't an only child.

I could really use a
big sister right now.

Well, I'm up for adoption.

It's my stepfather.

You don't like
him much, do you?

I hate him.

I despise him.

Those are strong emotions.

Well, last summer, just
before I left home, he--

oh, never mind.

Hey-- you talk to your
big sister, remember?

Well, late one night, he came
into my bedroom, and he tried--

you poor kid.

Hey.

So-- when am I going to see
what you bought in manzanilla?

- Later.
- [Groans]

Unless you think I should
change into it right here.

[Door opens]

Oh.

Hi.

Take a look at these and
tell me what you think, ace.

Well-- looks like
you were experimenting

with light and shadows.

But you're supposed to be
taking pictures of people, Kim.

I did!

Look-- here's somebody.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a, uh-- that's
a definite human being.

Who is that?

Gopher?

Close.

It-- it's Judy.

Well, they're both crew members.

Yeah.

Kim: Maybe you could look at
a few more of these for me

and give me some suggestions.

A few?

I think I'll go back
to my cabin and change.

What about this one?

[Theme music]

[Music fades]

Judy.

Hi.

How are you doing?

Why don't you come
over and join me?

I'm gazing at the moon.

I've already seen it.

Thank you.

You know, I have the
very distinct feeling

that you're trying to avoid me.

If I were you, I would
trust that feeling.

I'm glad we had this time
to spend together, mom.

Frank wanted to try
his luck at the casino.

Oh, no.

What is it?

Come on.

We're grown-ups.

We don't have to play games.

Mr. Patton!

I am an officer of this ship.

And if there's
one more incident,

I will request the captain
prefer charges against you.

Now, do you understand?

Mom, I never meant for
you to find out this way.

[Sighs] So that's what you
were trying to warn me about.

Ellen: We've locked the door.

And we're all alone.

There's nobody under the bed.

So it's, um-- safe
to take it off now.

Well, I suppose
I could take it

off for two or three minutes.

Or maybe four minutes.

A year.

They could shove
food under our door!

What am I saying?

I can't.

But on the other hand,
nobody likes a fanatic.

But my integrity.

How could I face myself?

Wouldn't you rather face me?

I'm sorry you did that, Arnold.

Wha-- what do you
mean, "you're sorry?"

I'm an inspector for
the courier company.

They sent me to see if
you could be trusted.

And the Mexican client?

Senor Juan Miguel
De Joachim Ortega

Sanchez De castellato III?

He doesn't exist.

And there's nothing
in that briefcase.

The only thing you
were protecting,

Arnold, was your job.

[Sighs] Took me all day
to memorize that name.

Well, I hope there's a
promotion in this for you.

Arnold, please--

no, no, no.

You deserve it.

It's not often you
see a woman who

is willing to-- to sacrifice
so much for her work.

I'm sorry.

(Voiceover) Of all the cruise
ships in all the world,

she had to walk into mine.

Shut up.

Hi.

Have fun tonight?

I missed you.

I didn't do too
great at the casino.

What's wrong?

What happened?

How could you do
a thing like that?

Sandy and I were--

hold it.

Wait.

Wait just a second.

Whatever she told you is a lie.

Sandy is telling you lies.

I never laid a hand
on your daughter.

What?

All right.

I'll tell you.

I'll tell you exactly
what happened last summer.

Your so-called "innocent
daughter" came on to me.

You-- you think I
wanted to touch a kid?

I tried to fight her off, but--

stop!

Just stop it.

It wasn't my fault, Irene.

You-- you were
out playing cards.

I had a couple of drinks.

I went to bed.

And she came into my bedroom
with hardly any clothes

on at all, and-- and
threw herself at me!

You're lying.

I'm not!

I know you're lying!

Besides-- Sandy never
mentioned anything about that.

What?

I was about to tell
you that I saw you trying

to force yourself on Judy.

By the way-- the casino
is closed in port.

And since we're
still in port, you'll

have time to pack your
things and get off the ship.

I never want to see you again.

I don't want a sh*t, doc.

I hate sh*ts.

Really, I'm feeling much better.

Let me just get up and
walk, and I'll show you.

No, ace.
No.

Don't try to be a hero.

Come on, ace--

a big boy like you,
afraid of a little sh*t?

I gave you a sedative so
you could get some sleep.

And this is just
an intramuscular

anesthetic for pain.

Haven't you've
forgotten something, Adam?

Huh?

You didn't give
the man his lollipop.

Gopher (on pa):
We're just lifting

anchor, ladies and gentlemen.

We've arranged to have all the
bumps cleared in the ocean,

so you'll have
smooth sailing all

the way back to Los Angeles.

There's plenty of
balmy night left.

Enjoy it.

I came to give you
the briefcase back--

and to give you an apology.

I was working on the
wording of an apology, myself.

My wording is easy.

I'm an idiot.

I shouldn't have yelled at you.

At least you were
doing your job.

Yeah-- a hatchet job.

You don't know how
miserable I've been

doing the company's dirty work.

You were so loyal, I
wanted to kick you.

And on top of that,
they lied to you.

What?

They told you
this case was empty.

I found these two
suspicious looking objects.

I thought you'd like
to examine them.

Well, you were right to
bring this to my attention.

As a future ex-employee,
I believe I am

entitled to clean out my desk.

Well, what shall we drink to?

To-- the briefcase.

And a burial at sea?

What a great idea.

[Glasses clink]

You know when I was pretending
to be crazy about you?

Yeah?

Well, I'm not crazy.

And I wasn't pretending.

Arnold (voiceover): And
that's all she wrote.

So, now we can put the
whole shebang to bed.

Let's go, shebang.

I mean, Ellen.

How could I have
picked a man like that?

What happened to you
was all my fault.

Oh, no, mother.

The only person
to blame is frank.

I just don't know how I
could have misjudged him so.

Well, he happened along
when you were at a very

vulnerable time in your life.

You know, there
is a bright side.

What bright side?

Now, there's no reason for
me not to come home to live.

Oh, sweetheart-- oh,
that is a bright side.

I missed you.

Oh, I missed you.

[Sighs]

[Theme music]

[Spanish guitar]

[Sighs]

Right on time.

Come in, come in,
whoever you are.

It's locked.

I'll be right there.

Hurry up.

This is no time to
keep a lady waiting.

I'm coming.

Don't leave.

[Groans]

Hi, there.

Come on in.

Oh, ace, you poor baby!

You've had a relapse!

No, no-- I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Look.

Look.
See?

I'm in perfect shape.

That makes two of us.

Let me just, uh--

hang this up.

You know, I can't
believe how relaxed I am.

[Theme music]

Thank you for your support.

Well, that's what
adopted sisters are for.

And I hope you have
nothing but happiness

the rest of your life.

Thanks, Judy.

I'm sure that's
all there will be.

Come on, sweetheart.

Bye!

Good bye.

The name is devlin--

Ellen devlin.

Well, give us a week.

Oh, well, congratulations.

Off to look for another job?

Well, I've got one.

Arnold completed his
assignment so well,

I'm recommending
the company kick him

upstairs to a
supervisory position.

And the new job is going to
be a little tough on Ellen.

How so?

Well, you thought the
briefcase was inconvenient--

wait until i'm
chained to a desk.

See you.

Both: Bye bye.

Good bye, Lisa.

You're the best
nurse I've ever had.

Well, I'm glad we finally
found the right medicine.

If you could bottle that,
you'd win the nobel prize.

Oh, this is perfect.

Stay still.

What's wrong with this thing?

Kim, why don't
you try the focus?

Turn that little
knob right there.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's the
a*t*matic timer.

Are you sure you
have film in it?

Or maybe you
need a new battery.

No.

What it needs is the
old photographer.

And he's busy.

[Theme music]

[Music ends]
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