08x27 - Caribbean Cruise: Call Me Grandma/A Gentleman of Discretion/The Perfect Divorce/Letting Go: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love
boat"]

Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you, and
love, life's sweetest reward,

let it flow.

It floats back to you.

Love boat, soon we'll
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Bon bini, ladies
and gentlemen,

which means welcome on the
island of curucao, or korsou,

as it's pronounced
by the inhabitants.

The city of willemstad with
its neatly shaped houses

and orange tile
roofs await you, so

enjoy your day on this
picturesque island

in the netherland antilles.

Launches will be leaving
from the port side of the ship

to the shopping
center of curucao.

This should help you find
your way around curucao.

Oh, thank you.

Do you have any suggestions
of what I might see?

Well, um, actually, I haven't
been there in a long time.

I was planning on reacquainting
myself with the sites.

Alone?

Yes.

Do you want some company?

Well, isn't your wife going?

Well, she was,
yeah, but she isn't.

I mean, she's not feel too well.

Anyway, I'm sure
she wouldn't mind.

Well, ok, if you don't
mind waiting while I change.

I wasn't really excited about
spending the day alone anyway.

Great, then we can
both be alone, together.

Ok.

Excuse me, but if you're
waiting for the tour

into curucao, they're
meeting in the terrace room.

Oh, thanks, but i'm
going it alone today.

I was just waiting for
my husband to bring

me some maps of curucao.

He's late as usual.

Haha.

Have you tried nagging?

It's probably why he's late.

Haha.

Ok.

You know, Isaac, what were
you and that lovely lady

talking about?

Her late husband.

So young to be a widow.

Hello.

Ace Evans, ship's photographer.

May I help you?

Oh, thanks.

I was just waiting for
some maps of curucao.

Oh, you don't need a map.

Why don't you let
me be your guide?

Oh, do you know curucao?

No, but I have a map.

Why not?

All right.

Dad, I am so sorry.

This is the second and last
time you miss the ship, vickie.

We'll talk about it later alone.

Right now, I'm happy
you're both back safely.

Thank you, burl.

I can't tell you
how worried we were.

From what I've been
told, Helen, Curtis

really took charge of things.

I did, mom.

Well, now I'm taking charge.

We're going back to the ship.

You two are cleaning
up, and we're

going to see curucao together.

Let's go.

Oh, I was worried
sick about you,

but I'm very proud
of you, Curtis.

Thank you.

I have something to
tell you that will

make you even prouder.

I've asked Vicki to marry me.

Ace?

Yeah.

This day's turning out
better than I expected.

Great.

I really feel alive.

Well, life is for the living.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I, I shouldn't have said that.

Oh, no.

It doesn't matter.

I was just thinking
about my husband.

Well, I'm sure
wherever he is, he'd be

glad you're enjoying yourself.

And wherever he is, I hope
he's happy, but not too happy.

Adam, look.

Isn't that Diane?

Yeah, and with ace.

But I thought she and Jim were
each coming into town alone.

I guess Jim didn't tell ace.

Hi, Mrs. Rolly.

Why, Vicki, how
nice to see you back.

Oh, thank you.

It's nice to be back, especially
after a hot shower and a sauna.

Wait a minute.

Aren't you going into curucao?

I thought you'd be sightseeing
with the general and the kids.

Oh, well, I decided to
take a day off for myself.

Uh, children can
be a little tiring.

Well, you should know,
with grandchildren.

Uh, yes.

I should know.

You know, just between
you and me, I mean,

the menudo kids are terrific,
but I bet the general

would rather be with you.

I'm afraid that's
one bet you'd lose.

I wonder why Mrs. Rolly
didn't come with us today.

Well, I think she
had other plans.

I think she misses
her grandchildren.

Yeah, you're right.

I think she does.

All right, say cheese.

That's too fatty.

How about yogurt?

Haha.

That's great.

Hey, you want me to take a
picture of you guys together?

Sure would you?

All right, yeah.

Yeah, we'd like to.

Look to your right.

Come on, closer together.

Come on, put your
arms out on her.

I always said children should
be seen and not heard, huh.

Kiss her.

Kiss her.

Kiss her.

Come on, kiss her.

Kiss her.

All right.

Oh, thank you very much.

Well, you ready for a
little more sightseeing?

Sure.

No, no.

I will pay for the drinks.

No, don't be silly.

My treat.

Oh.

My husband left
me plenty of money.

See, almost $ .

Um, finish you drink.

I'll go and freshen up.

I'll meet you by
the street edge.

Oh, ok.
I'll see you there.

Ok.

Thank you.

Hello, ace.

Oh, hi, Judy.

How are you?
- Oh.

Oh, Jim.

This is ace, the
ship's photographer.

- Hi, Jim.
- Hey.

You alone.
You want to join us?

Oh, no, thanks.

My date's waiting.

Oh, who's the lucky lady?

Oh, just a poor lonely
widow, and I mean poor.

Careful, that kind
can be dangerous.

But worth it.

The only thing she is
more than poor is pretty.

She as pretty as mine?

Well, I'd say you'd be
a winner with either one.

See you around.

Yeah, bye-bye.

Ladies and
gentlemen, we hope you

enjoyed your day in curucao.

The royal Princess
is now ready to set

sail for the Panama canal.

Hi, general.

Hi.

I see menudo's given you
a few minutes to yourself.

Did you have an enjoyable
time in curucao?

Yes, it's very pleasant.

Thank you.

Ah, good.

I found Mrs. Rolly inside.

I'm sure she'll be
out in a minute.

Oh, well, it's a bit
tiring, all that sightseeing.

I think I'll take a
nap before dinner.

Excuse me.

Maybe he didn't
hear what you said.

Dad, since it was already
dark and we didn't know our way

around, Curtis thought
it would be safer

to spend the night on the
beach rather than to try

to walk all the way into town.

You do believe me,
don't you, dad?

Of course I do.

I just think you
should have acted

in a more responsible way.

It was up to you to get
back to the ship on time.

I know.

And I promise, nothing like
that will ever happen again.

I know it won't.

Discussion closed forever.

Dad.

Hmm?

Were you worried?

Oh.

Dad, there is one other
thing I have to tell you.

Merrill?

Oh, there you are, you two.

Oh, Helen.

Where's Curtis?

Oh, he turned in early.

I think he was tired
after all his land travel.

I'm sure, uh, Vicki has told
you about my romantic son

asking her to marry him.

Marry him?

That's what I was
gonna tell you, dad.

But I didn't know
if he was serious.

Oh, he thinks
he's quite serious.

Thinks?

Curtis looks at life
in a very simple way.

He's, uh, more direct
and naive than most boys.

That's part of what
makes him so attractive.

Yes it is.

It's also part of his condition.

You see, Vicki, Curtis was
brain damaged when he was born.

He's slightly
Ret*rded, but with very

hard work and special
schools and therapy,

he's made great strides.

He certainly has.

I'm sorry, Vicki, but I just
thought you ought to know.

How did you all
enjoy your day apart?

No, no, I mean in port.

I had a wonderful time.

Me too.

Sometimes being
by yourself makes

you appreciate what you have.

I know exactly how you feel.

Oh, hi, Diane.

Great day, wasn't it.

Oh, hi, uh, king.

Ace.

Ace.

It's nice to see
you again, Jim.

You too, Trudy.

Judy.

Trudy?

King?

And I gave her the best
hours of my whole life.

So you were alone, huh?

I'm not blind,

so how come you needed
a seeing eye blonde?

Ok, so I had company,
and I had a very good time.

Well, I had an
even better time.

Good.

Why don't we just
keep it that way?

I think you two have
got the right idea.

Adam, do you think we
made divorce a little too

attractive to them?

Good morning, passengers.

Today is the day you've
been waiting for,

the Panama canal, which
links the Atlantic

and pacific oceans.

On November th, ,
Panama and the United States

under president
Theodore Roosevelt

signed the Panama canal treaty.

The canal is miles
long, and it will take us

eight hours to go through it.

So get your cameras.

You don't want to miss
this incredible site.

Isn't this exciting, Curtis?

Yes.

I'm glad I'm seeing it with you.

It makes it even more special.

Curtis, I've been thinking
about what you asked me.

I was afraid to bring it up.

Uh, I wasn't sure whether you
had made your mind up or not.

Curtis, I care for
you a great deal.

But I just think
it's too soon to rush

into things like marriage.

But I love you.

I know, and it means
a lot to me that you do.

But I just think that we both
have a lot of experiencing--

mother.

My mother told you
about me, didn't she?

That has nothing
to do with it.

Yes, it does.

It's been like
this my whole life.

Kids were always running away
from me, making fun of me.

Curtis, I'm not
running away from you.

I still want to see you.

Maybe in time,
something could develop.

No, nothing will
develop, because I'm slow.

Simple.

What does she say, Ret*rded?

Hey, you guys, que pasa.

Where's general creston?

Mrs. Rolly, right?

You ok?

I don't know.

General creston and Mrs.
rolly really like each other,

but all of the sudden,
they just stopped talking.

Ah, adults.

Sometimes they're hard
to figure out, huh.

You're not kidding.

I just wish we could
get them together.

Well, maybe your
group should sing them

an old fashioned love song.

Wrong, my dear,
but almost right.

Maybe what he needs is
a new love song, hmm?

Vaminos.

I've got an idea.

Adam and Nancy
must be really sick

of another boogie at the canal.

Did, uh, did Adam say
what was the matter?

No, but they must
be feeling bad enough,

so see if you can act
civil in front of them.

Don't worry.

If I'm civil to you,
it'll be really acting.

Come in.

Nancy, Adam.

What happened?

I don't know.

I think it's a reaction
to something Nancy

insisted we eat in curucao.

He thinks.

Some great doctor.

Get me some more lotion.

What are you, helpless?

Get it yourself.

Hey, what's the
matter with you two?

I thought you were supposed
to be happily divorced.

I thought so too, but
then I got over my amnesia.

The only thing
she didn't forget

was how to spend my money.

Well, listen to El cheapo.

You never bought me one thing.

Go away now.

I'll buy you anything you like.

You know, all those
years we were married,

we only went away one time.

I only took you with
me then so I wouldn't

have to kiss you goodbye.

We'll be running along.

When I divorced you,
I should have taken

you for every penny you had.
- How could you?

You took it when
we were married.

Do you think they fell for it?

I hope that we convinced
them, that, uh,

divorced couples
do not always get

along as well as they thought.

Well, we gave
it our best sh*t.

Why don't you come here
and kiss me, you crazy man?

I've got a better idea.

Why don't I just connect
the dots on your face

and see if I win a prize?

Anne, hi.

Hi.

Oh, isn't this a
marvelous treat?

Oh, this whole trip's
been a treat for me.

And I made a couple of
significant discoveries.

Which are?

I found someone who's very
important in my personal life.

I love you.

Oh, I love you too, Larry.

And I found
someone who could be

important in my business life.

Oh?

So you found the person
you want for the job?

Absolutely.

Well, I can't make
it official until I

clear it with my partners.

I'm on my way to make
the call right now.

I'll see you later.

Sorry.

Oh, you don't look very happy.

What's the matter?

That louse Larry's gonna
give the job to Andy.

Well, that's just
what you wanted.

You should feel great.

Yeah, but I fell
in love with the guy.

Hey, that's great.

Why is everything
always great with you two?

It isn't great?

Sounded pretty great to me.

We are now entering the
miraflores locks, ladies

and gentlemen, the final
phase of the Panama canal,

the gateway to the pacific.

Merrill, I was wrong.

I shouldn't have interfered.

Curtis and Vicki could have
taken care of the situation

on their own.

You're a mother.

You don't want your
son to be hurt.

I want him to be independent.

On the other hand,
I'm frightened to let

him go it alone.

Letting go and trusting your
child to live his own life,

that's one of the most important
things a parent has to do.

You do it so well.

Hmm.

For me, it's,
it's a big struggle

knowing Curtis's limitations.

We all have limitations.

We've learned to
live through ours.

Curtis will learn
to live through his.

But it's been so hard for him.

Helen, Curtis is
doing just fine.

Everything you wanted and
worked for has happened.

Now it's time for you to
get on with your own life.

I think I've forgotten how.

Let me try to remind you.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Andy.

Judy said, you were,
uh looking for me.

You're a hard man to find.

Look, I'll, I'll get
right to the point.

I know why a lot of companies
are anxious to hire you.

You've got a lot on the ball.

Thanks.

I've decided to
hire somebody else.

Oh.

Well, who's the lucky guy?

I am.

She's gonna make real
contributions to my company.

She?

Yeah, I've decided
to hire Anne Lester.

Anne?

Yeah, I think I
was wrong about her,

and I think she deserves
a chance to prove it.

She got all the
qualifications, the background,

intelligence, integrity.

You were fine up
until integrity.

Anne.

It's unbelievable.

Incredible.

You had me.

I was completely buffaloed.

Well, congratulations.

I got to hand it to you.

You've got spunk.

You gambled, and you
won yourself a job.

But stay out of the
rest of my life.

Good morning and
welcome to another

beautiful, warm, sunny day.

For those of you who partook
of the midnight buffet,

you can atone at our aerobics
class on the sun deck.

And up.

To the side.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Now let's jog.

Oh, I can't get over
it, Adam and Nancy sniping

each other like that yesterday.

Sniping?

It was like a full scale w*r.

There they were, needing each
other, and all they could do

was needle each other.

They seemed to get along well.

[Inaudible] When
thing's get tough.

Yeah, well, anybody
could be happy

when everything's going right.

Like the short time me
and you have spent together?

They didn't even make
it through the cruise.

Well, there's no
commitment in divorce.

There is in marriage, total.

Think we're losing ours?

Not if I have anything
to say about it.

Well, say something, damn it.

Hold it, you two.

That exercise doesn't
come til later.

Well, I'm sorry things didn't
work out between you and Larry,

romantically, anyway.

Well, I have no one
to blame but myself.

Wish there was something
I could do to help.

Curtis, I know you're angry
with me, and you're right.

I shouldn't have interfered.

I shouldn't have told Vicki.

It's probably better.

She would've just
found out anyway.

Dropped me later instead of now.

Oh, now you're
being unfair to Vicky.

I mean, I, I was wrong.

Now I think you're wrong.

Wrong?

Not to give Vicki
a chance like I

didn't give you a chance.

You've been changing in front
of my eyes, becoming a man.

I didn't see it.

You're not my
little boy anymore.

I'll always be
your little boy.

I'm just grown up now.

Are you sure this
is gonna work, gopher?

Just as sure as I know
my name is gopher Smith.

Your real name is burl.

Dinner at creston.

Hi, Ricky, gentlemen.

Anything the matter?

Nothing to do with
my [inaudible]??

Oh, no, no, no.

Nothing like that at all.

General, uh, menudo
needs your help.

Robby says you're
fluent in Spanish,

and I have a song that needs
to be translated into English

so they can sing
it at the concert.

Muy bien.

Ayudo con gusto.

All right, fine.

I'll be glad to help.

Hmm.

Oh, seems like a love song.

It shouldn't be too difficult.

Uh, sir, why don't you do it
on this blank piece of paper?

That way it will be
easier for them to see it.

All right.

Let me see.

I miss the hours I shared
with you, your happy smile

and lovely laugh.

Doesn't rhyme very
well, does it?

Well, they never rhyme
when you translate it.

Oh, I see.

Your happy smile.

One moment, please.

- Mrs. Rolly.
- Yes?

Oh, I'm sorry to
bother you so late,

but gopher asked
me to deliver this.

He thought it
might be important.

The general left it for
you at the purser's desk.

General creston?

Right.

Oh.

Shall I wait for a reply?

Uh, no, thank you.

No reply.

Not yet, anyway.

Mind if I join you?

Of course not.

I was pretty
rude the other day.

Everybody can get
mad now and then.

Vicki, I know now that when
something doesn't work out,

I can't blame it
on a disability.

Curtis, you don't have
to apologize for anything.

I want to.

I need to be responsible.

Curtis, you are a very
responsible young man.

Hearing that from you
makes me very happy.

You make me very happy.

I guess we had what they
call a shipboard romance.

A memorable romance.

I just know I'm not
ready for marriage.

I don't think I am either.

You'll always be very
special to me, my first love.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
to acapulco, Mexico's paradise

by the sea.

Enjoy windsurfing,
parasailing, bargain

hunting and gourmet dining.

We're sure this will be a day
to remember, so be in tempo.

[Interposing voices]

Yeah, ok.

Guys, what, now what
do I hold onto here?

Hey, now, smile.

Smile.

Good.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Great!

Whoa!

Oh, that was fantastic.

Come on, hey, let's
go do that again.

That was fantastic.

You guys have got to try this.

That was great.

That was great.

Oh, perfect.

Isn't this a coincidence?

I told Mrs. Rolly here
I wanted to take her

to my favorite spot,
and look who's here.

Yes, it's quite a coincidence.

Well, [inaudible],, I think
I'm going to go in the town.

You want to join me?

You bet.

Say, Mrs. Rolly,
would you mind keeping

general creston company?

Well, i--

thank you very much.

That was a very
sweet gesture you made.

I beg your pardon?

I missed the hours I shared
with you, your happy smile,

your lovely laugh.

Oh, that, that's nothing.

I enjoyed translating
that song for the boys.

Translated?

When I got the note, I thought--

oh.

I am sorry.

How could I be so
foolish to think that you

would write those words to me?

You mean that
you thought I, i--

you know, if I weren't such
a monumental stuffed shirt,

I would have written
those words to you.

Forgive me.

Hi.

Hey, tiptons.

Hey, brickers.

Glad you're feeling better.

Ah, it's just the
doctor's magic touch.

So, still america's
happiest married couple?

Yeah, thanks to you two.

Still america's happiest
divorced couple?

Yes, thanks to you.

Yeah, you saved our marriage.

We saw you two fighting
in your state room

when we thought you'd
be pulling together.

Made us realize what we have.

And you saved our divorce.

We did?

Sure.

You were just so happy
when we first met you,

we thought about
getting remarried.

And?

Well, we decided remarrying
would ruin our happy divorce.

We have worked too hard
on this divorce to throw

it away just like that.

Well, I guess marriage
isn't for everyone.

Neither is divorce.

But Liz, why did you make
up such a preposterous story?

Well it wasn't so
much a lie as a wish.

I always wanted children
and grandchildren,

so I gave them to myself.

Loving children so, I used
to babysit for my neighbors

as a favor.

They didn't know it
was a favor to me.

Those pictures in my wallet
are all those youngsters.

Well, now you tell me.

When did they become
your grandchildren?

Well, it happened
one day in the market.

My wallet was lying open,
and the clerk asked me

if they were my grandchildren.

And I said, yes.

I felt so happy and proud,
and then people started

to look at me differently.

And they would ask me
advice about their children.

And that's why you became
the expert on this ship.

Well, I wasn't really
hurting anyone, was I?

No.

You know, half my life is
wrapped up in this old wallet.

If I ever tossed it
overboard, I'd sink with it.

Do you know what
you need, darling?

A life preserver, me.

Enjoy.

I'm sorry.

I didn't follow you here.

Judy suggested that--

Judy?

Yeah, well, she's the
one who sent me here too.

No, please sit down.

Wouldn't want all Judy's
hard work to go to waste.

Larry, I need to get
something off my chest.

I knew I didn't get the
job because I'm a woman,

and I thought the
only way that I

could prove sex discrimination
was to pose as a man.

Guess it was an
extreme thing to do.

Yeah, to say the least.

All right, so long as
we're baring our souls,

I guess I've always had
a preconceived notion

that women just couldn't
do the same job as men.

The minute you walked in in
your skirt and your high heels,

you didn't have a chance.

Thanks for being honest.

Remember, Larry, when you
said I could have the job

but we'd have to forget about
the personal relationship?

Yeah.

You can keep the job.

Personally, I'd rather
keep it personal.

I'm sorry.

You're just gonna have
to settle for both.

To my equal
opportunity employer.

Ladies and
gentlemen, we hope you

enjoyed your day in acapulco.

I know you've enjoyed
our show so far tonight.

[Applause]

And now, the royal Princess has
a spectacular treat for you.

As a special favor to
us on our maiden voyage,

we are proud to present those
international young superstars

who are dedicating their
song tonight to their two

special friends,
general craston,

their chaperone, and
Mrs. Elizabeth rolly,

their honorary grandmother.

And now, ladies and
gentlemen, here they are,

the exciting menudo.

[Music - menudo, "like a
cannonball"]

Menudo: (Singing) See the
lightning cross the sky,

makes me wonder why
can't I move that fast

to get you where I'm going.

I just can't wait
to get to you, cause

girl you know just what to do.

So much love for you
it's all but flowing.

I gave you a license to
drive me up the wall.

I just can't shake this spell
that your love leaves me under.

The way you weave your magic,
your brown eyes say it all.

I look at you and
feel the thunder.

Ooh, it hits me
like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hearts b*at at the
speed of sound.

That's why I'm so
glad I found someone

who makes loving feel so right.

There's a detour up ahead.

I'll take another road instead.

Nothing's keeping
me from you tonight.

I gave you a license to
drive me up the wall.

I just can't shake this spell
that your love leaves me under.

The way you weave your magic,
your brown eyes say it all.

I look at you and
feel the thunder.

Ooh, it hits me
like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

Like a cannonball.

Hits me like a cannonball.

On deck, everyone.

Acapulco is sending
us off with a bang.

Next stop, the port
of Los Angeles.

Ladies and gentlemen, two
of our young passengers

have fallen so
madly in love, they

can't even wait to get back
to Los Angeles to get married.

So join us on the
aloha deck as these two

youngsters exchange their vows.

[Music - Richard Wagner, "bridal
chorus"]

Would you like to
get married again,

or would you like
a burial at sea?

What's the difference?

Pay attention.

You're next.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

There's a rule in our company
about married couples.

Only one member can work there.

Oh, don't worry.

You'll find another job.

We are gathered
here to witness

these two lovely
people being joined

together in holy matrimony.

Do you, Elizabeth
rolly, take this man

to be your lawful
wedded husband, to love

and Cherish til
death do you part?

I do.

And do you, Thomas
creston, take this woman

to be your lawful wedded
wife, to have and to hold

till death do you part?

Indeed I do, captain.

Indeed I do.

By the authority
vested in me, I now

pronounce you husband and wife.

Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for joining

us on this incredible cruise.

I hope it will be as memorable
to you as it will be to me.

Now, on behalf of
myself and my crew,

I invite you to gather on the
decks and witness the royal

welcome to the royal Princess
as we enter Los Angeles harbor.

Come on, ace.

I got them all lined up.

This is one picture
I really want,

the perfect souvenir
of a memorable crew.

Ok, captain, but
give me a minute.

You're right.

This is gonna be one great sh*t.

Yes.

Excuse me.

Well, you two got
married so fast

I didn't have a chance
to get your wedding gift.

Well, I could
use a new wallet,

with lots of room for photos.

What for?

I don't have any grandchildren.

Who knows?

Maybe you two will start
your own family someday.

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love
boat"]