09x01 - A Day in Port

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ love exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love is life's
sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's love ♪

Attention, please.

We arrive in Los Angeles
at : tomorrow morning.

Work crews will be
coming aboard

to redecorate our ship,

so we ask all passengers
to please disembark by : .

Tonight, there will be dancing
and the midnight buffet

to help celebrate the end
of what we hope has been

an enjoyable cruise
for all of you.

[ Low-tempo music plays ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Mm.

[ Sighs ]

When I drew you
as my ping-pong partner

two days ago...

[ Chuckles ]

...i never dreamed
it would end up like this.

Oh, neither did I.

It's too bad it has to end
when we dock tomorrow.

No.

Why does it have to end?

You have
a day off tomorrow,

and I'd like you
to spend it with me.

Unless, of course,
you have other plans.

Well, I did have a date
with Robert redford.

[ Sighs ]

But I can tell him
I have to wash my hair.

Do that.

Do that.

You do that.

Oh.

Didi, didi --
isn't she that girl

who moved
from england to anaheim

because they have
such great amusement parks?

Yeah, yeah.
We get together once a year.

I give her
the grand tour.

We usually warm up
at marineland.

And then, we shift
into second gear

at knott's Berry farm.

And then, by the time we get
to the fireworks display

at Disneyland...

She's ready for a few fireworks
of her own.

And, doc,
this is one girl

that can really light
your firecracker.

Mm-hmm.
[ Whistles ]

[ Imitates
firecracker exploding ]

[ Chuckles ]

Uh-oh, looks like your supply
of Yoo-hoos is running low.

[ Chuckles ]
Thanks, Isaac.

You know, these remind me
of my childhood.

I remember,
every Saturday morning,

right after
"rocky and bullwinkle,"

I'd ride down to the store
and get one of these.

Yeah,
on your bicycle?

Well, no, I --

I had this little
electric Ferrari,

little driving gloves.
It was great.

Oh.

Those were the days.

Vicki, you're gonna spend
your entire day off shopping?

Sure, to celebrate.

I just paid off all the bills
I ran up on your credit card.

[ Laughs ]

Are you going ashore
tomorrow, captain?

Uh, no, I have to stay on board
and supervise the face-lift

the line has ordered
for the ship.

The line wants everything
to go shipshape tomorrow night.

They've invited the press
and a lot of celebrities

to see the first performance
of the mermaids.

You know, with eight
gorgeous dancers on board,

my wardrobe is going to have
to be pretty spectacular.

Hm.

Does anybody know what time
neiman Marcus opens?

[ Clears throat ]
: every day but Sunday.

♪ ♪

Welcome to Los Angeles.

We hope you've enjoyed
your cruise.

And, on behalf
of the entire crew,

we wish you a safe trip home.

Well, Mr. Simpson,
I'm glad I was able

to help you get
your memory back.

Too bad you remembered
you were a Jewel thief.

Good-bye.

Good luck
in your new life.

You are so lucky.

You and your rich boyfriend
will be off at his country home

living the lives
of the rich and famous

while I have to work.

Work? I thought
you were shopping
in Beverly Hills.

Well, that's work when you have
to stay within my budget.

Would it ease your suffering
if we offered you

a ride in Nick's
limousine?

He rented a limo?

Mm.

He owns a limo?

Okay, I'll meet you
in minutes on the deck.

Okay? Bye.
Oh!

Does he have a TV?

I've never watched TV
in a car before. Oh.

[ Laughs ]

Are you
in charge here?

Yes,
I'm the captain.

That's close enough.

Excuse me,
mister --

elder -- Marty elder.
I'm the foreman

in charge of
this redecorating job,

and me and my crew are
none too happy about it.

Well, Mr. Elder, I'll be happy
to pass on your comments

about the work order
to our purser.

Great.
Pass this on --

there's too much work here.
It can't be done in a day.

All right, men,
and you others.

Let's get on
with this thankless task.

Positive attitude.

Well, merrill, I'd really love
to stay aboard

and see
how all this turns out,

but I've got a month of tennis
to catch up on.

-Captain stubing?
-That's right.

And you must be
miss Becker.

That's me.

Miss Becker is

the choreographer
for the mermaids.

This is Adam bricker,
our ship's doctor.

Oh, hello.
How are you?

Well, hi.
Welcome.

Captain, is there
an Isaac Washington working

on this ship?

Yes.
Do you know him?

Well,
you could say that.

I almost married him.

Oh, I see.

Well, excuse me.
I have to get to work.

♪ ♪

I still can't believe
that you run

this enormous ship
all by yourself.

Well, didi,
some men are just born

to wear the mantle
of responsibility.

And some are born
to trip over it.

Captain, sir.

Gosh, I didn't mean
to imply

that I was in charge
of the entire ship.

Uh, sir, after all,
you do a lot, too, don't you?

Oh, I just drive.

And that's easy.

It has
an a*t*matic transmission.

Didi winters,

I'd like you
to meet captain stubing.

-Hello.
-Captain stubing is the captain.

Uh, gopher,
I hate to spoil your plans,

but the foreman
of the work crew insists

that he can't complete
everything in one day.

I handled that, sir.

You should've seen him,
captain.

He got tough,
and that foreman backed down.

Well, in that case,
Mr. Smith,

I am going
to give you an order,

and I expect you
to obey.

Yes, sir.

Get off this ship,

and don't come back
till we sail tonight.

Yes, sir!

-Uh, Mr. Smith?
-Yes?

-We have to talk to you.
-[ Sighs ]

My pleasure.
Ah...

Didi winters,
this is Charles custers.

Charles is our chief steward.
-How do you do?

And this is
christa Johansson,

in charge of
our ship's laundry.

Mr. Smith, we have a problem
with his stewards.

They're all idiots,
like him.

Forgive me
for stating the obvious,

but the people
in your laundry have

their brains stuck
on spin cycles.

One of my many responsibilities
here on the ship is

to mediate differences between,
uh, service crew members.

Now,
how can I help?

Tell her people
to get off their lazy bums

and get the laundry
done on time.

"On time"?
Please.

Tell your snooty bunch
to stop making promises

to the passengers
that we cannot keep.

People, please.

Now, I think
I can say something here

that will put an end
to this fighting.

All men are brothers.

Oh, hey, doc, I thought
you'd be ashore by now.

Ace, we're about
to be treated to a sight

few men are lucky enough
to witness in a lifetime.

Oh, yeah?

[ Indistinct conversation ]

The love boat mermaids.

I hope there's cute guys
on these cruises.

I hope
they're rich guys.

[ Both laugh ]

I wonder if, like, we go
to any third-world countries.

Well, sometimes
they go to Florida.

I love Miami,
except the surf is lousy.

We're supposed to rehearse
on the lido deck.

Are we going the right way?
-Oh, you're doing just fine.

Bye.

-Bye.
-Bye-bye.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Bye.

Oh, I'm sorry
to have doubted you, doc.

You're right.
This is going to be great.

Ace, this is not going
to be great for you.

It's not?

I've seen the way
beautiful women

constantly throw
themselves at you,

but these women are
different.

They are?

Ace, listen to me.

I know things you don't know.
I'm a doctor.

You know as well as I do
that getting involved

with co-workers
only leads to trouble.

Remember...eleanor?

Yeah, I'd rather not.

The new assistant
cruise director

right out of wherever it is
cruise directors come from.

She likes you.
You like her.

Nature takes it course.

Then, you decided you wanted
to date other women.

Ohh, I didn't think
she'd take it that hard.

Well, thank god
she was a good swimmer.

I'm afraid to avoid
any more eleanors

you must tell these women
that you're not available.

Face it -- being born
with that face carries with it

certain responsibilities.

I see your point,
doc.

But as far as I can tell,

not one of those women
even knows I'm alive.

Hi.

Oh, my gosh.

You're real.

[ Sighs ]

Do you think I should talk
to them individually

or as a group?

Oh, hey, goph.

Doc,
I need your help.

Uh, doc?

All I need you to do is stand in
for me with didi

while I straighten out
this thing between the
stewards and the laundry.

All you have to do is
take her

to the k*ller whale show
at marineland.

Then, you bring her back here.
I'll take over.

You'll have the rest
of the day to yourself.

Well...
Sounds simple enough.

Okay, all right,
now, if she's hungry,

price is no object.

Just don't give her
anything heavy.

I want her alert
for when I get her back.

Judy:
What a charming hotel.

Nick: [ Laughs ]
This is my home, Judy.

You own this?

Who else?

I don't know.
I thought maybe Conrad Hilton.

[ Laughs ]

Oh.
[ Laughs ]

Nick,
this is incredible.

It's nice.

But it takes me all day Saturday
just to mow the lawn.

Good morning,
Mr. Durrell, Ms. McCoy.

I hope you had
a good trip.

Yes, we did.

Judy, I'd like you to meet Paul,
who runs thing around here.

But he's clever enough
to let me think that I do.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Hi.

Mr. Durrell, you just missed
a call from New York.

Shall I get them back
for you?

Not yet.

I'd like to give Ms. McCoy
a tour of the house.

What do you say?

Are you sure
there's time?

I have to be back on board
the ship before midnight.

If you wish to ride
before lunch, Ms. McCoy,

I've laid out your riding
clothes for you upstairs.

My riding clothes?

Mr. Durrell had me fill
your closet

with a size- wardrobe.

Was I close?

Perfect.

♪ ♪

So why do we have
to rehearse out here?

They're redecorating
the lounge,

and we can't get in there
until they're finished.

So I think it's only fair
to put my cards on the table,

uh, so to speak.

I'm sure that you're
a terrific person,

a-and I hope that we become
great friends.

Really, I do.

It's just
that I've made it my policy

not to have
any romantic relations

with the people
I work with.

Okay by me.

I appreciate
your attitude.

[ Drill whirring ]

[ Shouting ] Captain...
[ Clears throat ]

We have come to a decision
for the best interest

of everybody in service.
-What?

Could you hold that down
over there?

[ Whirring stops ]
-Yep.

Yeah.
I'm finished over here.

-Now...
-The staff.

...captain, we have come
to a decision.

[ Hammer banging ]

And it's for
the best interest...

Yes, hold on
for a moment.

Mr. Elder,

we are trying to conduct
ship's business in here.

Can't that wait?

Well, as far as I'm concerned,
it can wait forever.

You know, uh,
this cabinet wasn't

on my original work order,
you know?

And my boss said some big sh*t
on this ship here

did a lot of whining
to get it.

Made a real cry-baby
out of himself, you know?

So I thought I'd do
this big sh*t a big favor

and install it myself.

Well, uh,
go right ahead.

I-I-If there's
any possibility,

could you keep
the noise down, please?

[ Upbeat music plays ]

Lonette:
Five, six, seven, eight.

Five, six, seven, eight.
Keep going.

Five, six, seven, eight.
Very good.

Two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

Two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three,
four, five.

Can I have
a little attitude, please?

Four, five, six, seven --

lonette.

[ Music stops ]

Okay, ladies, take five.

What?

What are you doing here?

The mermaids are
my girls.

Over the last years,
I've thought a lot

about what I was gonna say
to you.

But right now,
nothing comes to mind.

Isaac,
do you hate me?

For a while.

But I've learned
to let that stuff go.

I tried to find
you earlier today.

Uh...

Listen, you've got
your rehearsal,

a-and I've got some work
I have to do.

Uh, we've put it off
for years.

We can let it wait
another hour.

[ Sighs ]

Thanks, Isaac.

Okay, ladies.
What is it?

Five minutes are up.
Let's hit it.

[ Upbeat music plays ]

And five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

Two, two.
Much better.

Five, six, seven, eight.

♪ ♪

And I feel we can reach
a fair and just settlement

very quickly.

You've got
to be kidding.

The working class has
always been in conflict

with the power elite.

You settle that,

you'll put an end
to w*r and famine.

Thank you for your concern,
but I think we can handle it.

Yeah, well, I'm not one
to cast pearls.

[ Clears throat ]

From what I've heard,
it's apparent

that one
of the disputing parties is

clearly in the wrong.

[ Scoffs ]
Boy, I'll say.

Yes, sir,
no doubt about it.

Christa is way
out of line.

Me?!

I was referring
to Charles.

Me?

Sir.

Forgive me,
but there is no way

an intelligent person could side
with the laundry workers.

And I suppose there isn't
the slightest possibility

that your support
of the stewards

might be
incredibly naive?

Not the slightest,
sir.

[ Banging ]

Mr. Elder, will you stop
that infernal hammering.

It's not me.
I'm on my break.

[ Banging continues ]

Enter and state
your business.

Holy moly.

Gopher: Didi!

Hi.
-Uh, you know this guy?

Hi, gopher.

Gopher, you'll have
to leave right now

if you expect to make
the stagecoach ride

at knott's Berry farm.

Uh, didi, honey,
would you mind, uh,

waiting for me outside
for just a little minute?

-Of course, gophie.
-Thank you.

Captain, I think
we can put an end to this.

Pack it in, Charles.
We've lost.

I thought you we
on my side.

I changed my mind --
you're wrong. They're right.

Forget it, gopher.

Doc...

Make sure she doesn't eat
just before

she goes
on montezooma's revenge.

Gotcha.

Well, back to work.

[ Drill whirring ]

Hi.

Hi.

You're one of the mermaids,
aren't you?

No, I just mugged one of them
and stole her t-shirt.

I'm sorry. That was
a pretty dumb question.

I'm Isaac.

Hi, I'm Patti.

Welcome aboard, Patti.

Can I get you a club soda --
on the house?

Thanks.

Hmm.

So, how long have you
and lonette known each other?

Oh, uh...Not long.

Um...

She and I used
to run around together.

We used to talk
about movies and music.

Marriage.

I got the impression
it was pretty serious.

We were going pretty strong
for a while there.

Patti, can I ask you
a question?

Mm-hmm.

What makes a girl
who's crazy about a guy

who's crazy about her
run out on him

and then just show up
years later?

I don't know.

Were you fat?

[ Both laugh ]

Did she ever talk
about me?

She talked
about a lot of guys.

Oh.

And how they compared
to Isaac Washington.

Oh.

If you're trying
to impress me, you've succeeded.

A lot of people have ponds.

Not heated.

[ Both laugh ]

Thank you.

Mm.

A little lunch?

A little lunch.

Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

I feel like i'm
in a movie.

[ Chuckles ]

Tell me, do all
of your guests get a swimsuit,

a robe, and a closet
full of brand-new clothes?

If you're asking me if there are
any other women in my life,

the answer is no.

You're
a very special woman, Judy.

And you look wonderful
here.

Who wouldn't?

Why don't you stay?

Because the ship sails
at midnight,

and I have to get back,
remember?

No, you don't.

Nick, you can't
just make a phone call

and keep the ship
from sailing.

Oh!

Okay.

Okay,
I believe you could.

Yes, I could.

To you.

And you.

[ Glasses clink ]

Now, all we need here is
a new approach.

I have arranged
for you two

to have
an elegant lunch together.

I think you need
to negotiate

in surroundings more conducive
to the spirit of compromise.

Oh, I don't know
about this.

Now, wait a minute.
This is a great idea.

This is the best idea
I've had all day.

It's the only idea
you've had all day.

The presidential suite is yours
for as long as you need it.

[ Sighs ]

Please, please.

Of course, if you could arrange
to settle this thing

in time for me to to take
didi to Disneyland --

[ door slams ]

Don't give it
another thought.

♪ ♪

Ooh,
nice bathing suit.

So, as a co-worker, I feel
that it's my responsibility

to tell you that, as attracted
as we might be to one another,

I'm going to have
to deny you of my essence.

You know, when I left New York
years ago,

I really believed
that there was something

I needed to do.

Hey, you get a sh*t
for a Broadway show,

you have to take it.

I just wish
you had done more

than leave me a note
on the refrigerator.

[ Sighs ]
Isaac, I was scared.

I knew you were gonna ask me
to marry you.

I was afraid
I'd say yes.

I just wasn't ready
for that.

But, lonette, I didn't hear
from you for years.

Were you afraid
for a whole decade?

I just didn't know
how to pick it all up again.

What was I supposed to do?
Call you up and say,

"hey, Isaac,
long time no see," hmm?

Listen --

for what it's worth,

I have missed you
very much.

It's worth...

A lot more than I thought
it would be.

I've missed you.

Well, where do we go
from here?

Tahiti.

[ Both laugh ]

Well, that's a little
out of our way.

But there is a place I'd like
to take you in acapulco.

Oh, Isaac, I'm not going
on the cruise.

I leave tonight
right after the show.

Excuse me, miss Becker?

[ Sighs ]

Yes, Amy?

Sorry, I didn't know
you were, like,

on a date
or something.

Oh, that's all right.

Well, you wanted me
to tell you

when the girls were
through with lunch.

Thank you.

Isaac, I've got
to get back to work.

We need to talk.

Okay.

We'll have
some time later.

Okay.

I know
you're angry.

But gopher went
to a lot of trouble.

At least you could eat
something.

[ Sighs ]

You're always
so intense.

I think a woman
as attractive as you could

loosen up
once in a while.

You think
I'm attractive?

I think you find me
attractive, too.

I think...

That you have had
a bit too much champagne.

Maybe.

But where I come from,
when a woman asks a man

to help her fold sheets
every day,

she generally has more
on her mind than laundry.

[ Chuckling ]
Oh, well...

Perhaps there are

other things on my mind.

I must say,

times I've seen you
in the laundry room

with that light sheen
of perspiration on your face...

My heart b*at
a little faster.

Maybe just half a glass
of champagne.

[ Laughs ]

Come on. Come on.

These things...

[ Laughs ]

Are delicious.
I can't get enough.

Come on.

Well, you had the makings
in your kitchen.

Of course,
I have a hunch

you've never been
in your kitchen.

Of course I have.

Once.

[ Laughs ]

This is the most wonderful day
of my life.

Boy, feed you
a little sugar,

and you just go
to pieces.

Marry me, Judy.

We'll live on whipped cream
and cookies

and grow old
and fat together.

[ Chuckles ]

Sounds appealing,

but I never get married
on the first date.

Well,
have it your way.

Dinner tonight will be
our second date.

You can give me
your answer then.

♪ ♪

To christa.

To Charles.

I suppose...

We'd better get
back to work.

We have a job to do.

The ship can't sail
without stewards

and the laundry.

We're the backbone
of the entire ship.

We have our duty.

Are you aware that Charles
and christa have been

in the presidential suite
for nearly two hours?

-Yes, sir.
-That is a long lunch.

Well, they're still
in there, sir,

because they're ironing out
the details of the agreement.

"Ironing" --
laundry.

Gopher, if the stewards
and laundry workers are not

back to work soon,
we won't have a party tonight.

-Sir.
-We won't be able to sail.

And all of the passengers will
ask for their money back.

Mm-hmm.

Do something.

-Hi, goph.
-Hi, Vic.

Vic, Vic!
Oh, Vic!

Oh, thank god you're here.
Oh, Vicki.

Vicki, there is a crisis
on this ship,

and I think you may be
the only one who can save us.

I have hoped and prayed
this day would come,

and here it is,
the day when I become

an indispensable member
of this team.

What can I do?

I want you to wash
dirty tablecloths.

Thanks, Maria.

Please make sure
that all the ladies know

we're having
full dress rehearsal at : .

I will.

Uh, i-is everybody
decent?

I can't speak for them,
but my reputation's spotless.

Uh, excuse me.
Are you Maria?

-Yes, I am.
-Well, do you have some time?

I think we should have
a little talk.

[ Sighs ]
Maria.

As a fellow coworker,
I think it's only fair...

Have you any idea
why he is going around

talking to mermaids
one-by-one?

Who can understand
a man who drove

an electric Ferrari
to kindergarten?

[ Both laugh ]

This is the first time
I've had you all to myself

in a long time.

Yeah, it feels comfortable
as ever.

Mm.

Do you think we could steal
a couple of hours for ourselves?

Ah, yes.

Excuse me,
miss Becker.

My costume
just fell apart.

You do have
your own cabin?

I certainly do.

Very good.

Yeah.

Well,
what do you think?

I think this dress
was made to be worn by you.

But you know something?

These big houses
can get awfully drafty.

[ Clicks tongue ]

Awfully drafty.

Oh.

Nick.

You certainly do know
how to dress a girl for dinner.

To hell with dinner.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

There's this little voice
in my head

that keeps asking
the same question --

where is this going?

Well, I thought
that was obvious.

No, I don't mean now.

years ago,
we had something going, but...

[ Sighs ]

...at least
I thought we did.

Isaac, I am sorry
for that.

No, uh...

That's not my point.

Lonette...

Let's be realistic
about this.

You're leaving again
tonight.

I'm staying here
on the ship.

Things are gonna be back
the way they were.

Why are we setting ourselves up
for the same pain

it took all those years
to get over?

Why can't we just enjoy
what we have right now,

just for what it is?

It means more to me
than just sharing a moment.

It always did.

I don't want
to go through that again.

[ Sighs ]

I can't stand a man
who learns from his mistakes.

[ Chuckles ]

Hey.

I hear there's a great show
in the lounge tonight.

Want to go?

Yeah.

Mr. Elder...

Can you tell me
when you'll be finished?

I would have been finished
a long time ago

if it weren't for
these constant interruptions.

Come in.

Sir...
[ Clears throat ]

I think I have
some good news for you, sir.

Well, I hope so. The
passengers will coming
aboard in an hour.

Giving us time to really get
to know each other

really paid off,
right, christa?

[ Chuckles ]
It certainly did.

Well, it's
about time, huh?

Now that christa's people
are gonna pick up the slack,

all of our troubles are over.

Great. I'm off
to the magic kingdom.

What do you mean,
"now that christa's people

are going
to pick up the slack"?

Christa, after what happened
this afternoon,

surely you've had
a change of heart.

What happened
this afternoon was

strictly between you
and me.

And I still say
that your stewards are selfish

and inconsiderate.

Face it -- your people
are too lazy to do an
honest day's work.

Oh!

Uh, folks, I'm kind of
in a rush here,

so if we could work out
this agreement tomorrow...

[ Sighs ]

I'd really appreciate it.

There's no agreement.

Thanks to her, we've advanced
from a simple dispute

to a full out strike.

I'm gonna call a meeting
of all the stewards.

-Hey, christa, what do you --
-I'm sorry, captain,

but the laundry is gonna
stay shut down

until the stewards have come
to their senses.

Ugh, what a couple
of fruitcakes, huh?

Well, everything seems
to have fallen apart here.

Well, what exactly did you do
to help them along?

I left a bottle of champagne
in the suite.

I thought it might
loosen them up a little.

Mr. Smith,
from the beginning,

you have conducted
these negotiations

with your hormones
instead of your brain.

Hey, give the guy a break.
He meant well.

He just got in
a little over his head.

Thanks, man.

From now on, I'm in charge
of the negotiations.

Does that mean
I can go?

I guess not.

Yeah, hang in there,
gophie.

♪ ♪

Dinner was wonderful.

What was that for?

That marked the end
of our second date.

It's time
for your answer.

Will you marry me,
yes or no?

Nick, it's not
that simple.

I'd have so many things
to take care of --

m-my job, my apartment --

Judy, all you have
to do is say yes,

and I'll take care
of everything else.

You make it sound
so it easy.

But I can make
everything easy.

Paul: [ Clears throat ]
Excuse me.

I'm terribly sorry,
Mr. Durrell,

but the gentleman
from New York is here.

Excuse me.

Of course.

Carlos.

No trouble
with customs, I hope.

[ Ominous tones play ]

[ Telephone rings ]

I could use another Brandy.
How about you?

♪ ♪

Hi.
How's it going?

Oh, it's pretty good.
He's trying to work it out now.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be
at Disneyland.

Well, uh, gopher, there's
just been a slight, uh,

change of plans.

Uh, didi's decided she'd like
to come on the cruise.

That's great!

Didi and I on a cruise t--
you talked her into --

hey, you are a friend.
I mean it, really.

Well, gopher, t-there is, uh,
one more thing you should know.

Uh, didi won't be coming
on the cruise as your guest.

Yeah, but you just got
through saying --

she'll be coming
on the cruise as my guest.

You see, uh, somewhere
along the line,

didi and I discovered
a certain...

Fondness for each other.

You took her on the teacups,
didn't you?

Gopher, I had no idea
it'd have that effect on her.

All it did was
make me dizzy.

Hey, I understand, totally.
Really, no, please

enjoy your cruise.

Just one word of warning --

she's not that bright.

Judy, listen to me.

My private life is completely
separate from my business.

And I suppose you are
a pillar of the community.

As far as the folks
around here are concerned,

I'm Nick durrell,
a generous guy

who financed a new wing
for the local hospital.

Nick, you are living
a lie.

What makes you think
that I want to be part of that?

But you love me.
You can't deny that.

I do love you.

But there's a part of you
that I hate, too,

and I can't deny that,
either.

[ Door opens, closes ]

Merrill: Now, let's go
over this again.

"Stewards will immediately
inform the laundry

of any out-of-the-ordinary
requests made

by the passengers."
Agreed?

Yes.

-And the laundry --
-"and the laundry workers

will inform the stewards
of the time necessary

to deliver laundry
on special requests

so that unreasonable promises
are withdrawn."

Yeah, sounds good to me.
What do you think?

Yes.

Do you mind?

From now I on, I hope you will
deal with the problems

before tensions reach
a point like this again.

I hope so, too.

We'll do our best.

I have to go because we have
a lot of work to do

to get things ready
for tonight.

So do we.

Well, then, do you think
that there's a chance

i may have that chest
completed in my lifetime?

Oh, I was done
with that baby an hour ago.

I just wanted to see
the end of this.

Didn't want to miss it
for nothing.

You know, I've got
to give you credit, captain.

You do good work.

Yeah, we wrapped this one
up pretty well, didn't we, sir?

I think I hear my phone.

[ Door closes ]

You hired him
'cause he's family, right?

Excuse me.

-Okay.
-Thank you.

-Gopher...
-Mm?

...you are going
to be so proud of me.

I did it.

I got all
the tablecloths done.

Great.

Terrific, Vicki.

But we have to talk.

Well, you see,
I found three laundromats

that were
a couple blocks apart.

I mean, I had to do a lot
of running back and forth...

Wait a minute.
Where did she get those?

Those are not the ones
I did, gopher.

I know because
I folded mine lengthwise.

Yeah, well, the boat business
is a crazy business, Vic.

-Gopher.
-What?

Tell me that what I think
happened did not happen.

Hey, good news -- the ship's
laundry is working again.

-Gopher!
-Listen, would it help

if told you
I lost my girlfriend?

[ Both arguing indistinctly ]

Tired?

[ Gasps ]

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah, a little.

Your people did
a fine job.

[Sighs] Well,
to tell you the truth,

I wasn't sure
whether or not

I was going to make
that deadline.

Uh, look, christa,

I'm sorry about
what happened this afternoon.

I guess the champagne
just went to my head.

It wasn't
all your fault.

I could've stopped you
if I'd wanted to.

Don't look so smug.

I'm still mad at you.

For what?

For assuming
that what happened between us

would change my mind
about everything else.

You're right.

I was inconsiderate,
callous, insensitive.

Should I recite
all my sins,

or can we go directly
to begging for forgiveness?

I'll let you off the hook
if you promise

to be my guest tonight

at the premiere performance
of the mermaids.

Okay.

But only if you promise
not to get me drunk again

and take advantage of me.

No deal.

I guess I'll just have
to take my chances.

Uh-huh.
[ Laughs ]

Oh.

Yeah.

Attention --
the pacific Princess is

now ready for boarding.

Cabin assignments may be
obtained in the purser's lobby.

We'll be sailing
tonight at midnight.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Judy, I didn't know
you came back on board.

Will Mr. Durrell be
joining you?

No, I won't
be seeing him again.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Is there
anything I can do?

No, no, no, sir.
Thank you, but, uh...

There isn't.

I'm just glad
to be back.

We're glad
to have you back.

Thank you.

[ Fanfare plays ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

the pacific Princess is proud
to welcome you

to our brand-new
international act.

[ Applause ]

[ Upbeat music plays ]

And here to introduce
our love boat mermaids,

Mr. Ashley Evans.

Starlight.

Mary Beth.

Amy.

Sheila.

Susie.

Jane.

Patti.

Maria.

Ladies.

Dance!

All: ♪ dance ♪

♪ I've got to shake
my shoulders ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ I got to move my buns ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ I got to keep on grooving ♪

♪ as long as my motor runs ♪

♪ I can jump ♪

♪ stomp my feet ♪

♪ ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ blame it on rhythm
and the heat of the b*at ♪

♪ 'cause I get loose ♪

♪ let out my juice ♪

♪ when I dance ♪

♪ Dance ♪

♪ Hot ♪

♪ ooh, so hot ♪

♪ ooh, so sopping wet ♪

♪ healthy sweat ♪

♪ ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ moving now is your best bet ♪

♪ move our bodies ♪

♪ use our legs and dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ Dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Attention -- will
all visitors please disembark.

All visitors ashore, please.

The pacific Princess
will sail in minutes.

Well...
[ Sighs ]

I guess
this is goodbye again.

Maybe --

I-If it happens...

It happens.

Yeah.

I'll see you, Isaac.

-Uh, susie?
-Yeah?

I'm sorry to have gotten
to you so late.

But, after all,
there are eight of you

and only one of me.

Yeah.

[Sighs] It hasn't been easy
laying my cards on the table

to one beautiful woman
after another.

But here it goes.

Susie...

I decided to make it a rule
never to get involved

with...

Is something wrong?

I can't do this anymore.

Will you have a drink
with me?

[ Sighs ]

I'm sure
you're a very nice guy,

but I don't want to get involved
with anyone I work with.

Sorry.

There's a lot of irony
in my life.

[ Air horn blows ]

♪♪