09x04 - The German Cruise: The Villa/The Racer's Edge/Love or Money/The Accident: Part 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Love Boat". Aired: September 24, 1977 – May 24, 1986.*
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Set on the luxury passenger cruise ship MS Pacific Princess, and revolves around the ship's captain Merrill and a handful of his crew, with passengers played by guest actors for each episode, having romantic and humorous adventures along the way.
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09x04 - The German Cruise: The Villa/The Racer's Edge/Love or Money/The Accident: Part 1

Post by bunniefuu »

[Theme music]

Theme song: Love, love
exciting and new--

come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, love is
life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love, love
won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

Welcome aboard-- it's love.

Welcome aboard-- it's love.

[Waltz music]

Come on, gopher.

Answer the question.

What do you like best--

American girls or
European girls?

Ace, you're looking at a
citizen of the world here.

Today, we're in Germany.

In a couple of days, we're going
to be on the French riviera.

I like women all over the world.

And more to the
point, they like me.

Ha.

[Speaking German]

Oh, ace.

Get out of here.

Women don't want to talk.

They want animal magnetism.

I think you're wrong, gopher.

European girls like Americans
who speak their mother tongue.

Gopher: Oh, ace.

Check my pulse.

Watch this.

Come here.

[Speaking German]

[Sighs] Sorry, but
we don't speak German.

Or whatever that
is you're speaking.

Hey.
They're Americans.

And we're also in a hurry.

Let's go, Edie.

Well, ace, what
mother tongue would

you like to screw up in now?

Oh, that blond
guy sure was cute.

I told you, Edie,
no diversions.

Do you want to be a
waitress all your life?

The only men we have time
to meet are rich ones.

But he was cute.

All right.

Let me tell you something
about cute, little sister.

Cute may keep you warm at
night, but so will mink.

And it lasts longer.

Wow.

Look at that guy go.

Yeah.

Adam.

Adam, could you give me
a hand with this, please?

Oh, yeah.

You know, I can't
believe I spent so

much money on a video camera.

Do you think I overdid it?

"Gone with the wind" was
sh*t with less equipment.

You know, I'm glad we
had the opportunity to take

the vistafjord on its new route,
and the riviera coming up--

all that marvelous scenery.

And I'm going to tape
every member of our crew.

Do you mind if I
practice with you?

No, not at all.

You can get some great sh*ts
of me throwing my back out.

[Laughing] Come on.

Cutting it a little
close, aren't you, Scotty?

You know, I rented this
tuxedo by the hour.

I couldn't take a cab.

Kelly's got my wallet.

We have to hurry this up.

[Door opens, footsteps]

Glad you could make it.

[Speaking German]

--So say yes.

Yes.

Scott, [speaking German]

--So say yes.

Yes, I do.

Justina: All right, Alexander.

Just how bad is my
financial situation?

Very bad, you
have nothing left.

I did my best.

Was it Viktor
Lukas who did this?

Yeah.

He always hated my family.

Now he's succeeded
in destroying it.

This must be a
happy day for him.

What about the villa?

I have taken the
Liberty of contacting

an auctioneer in nice.

If only there was
some other way.

It's ironic.

I booked a cruise
to the riviera.

Didn't expect to be saying
farewell to the villa.

[Church bells ringing]

Oh, coach.

Oh, coach, what a big spender.

Well, don't get too
excited about the car.

It goes back with the tuxedo.

Enjoy the riviera,
and I wish you kids

all the happiness in the world.

Thanks, Charlie.

So long, kid.

You were the best bike
racer I ever knew.

Thanks, coach.

Good luck on the new job.

Can you imagine that,
Charlie fields a big time

bicycle company executive?

I might have to break
down and buy a suit.

So long, coach.

(Shouting) Wait-- your bike--

I can't ride one
of these things.

Justina.

Well, Viktor Lukas.

My sympathies.

It seems I've grown
richer at your expense.

My sympathies to
you as well, Viktor.

Why me?

I'm not the one who is bankrupt.

Oh, I didn't mean financially.

But what about your conscience?

If I need a conscience,
my dear, I'll buy one.

Look at it.

It's so big.

It's hard to believe it floats.

Hey.

Easy does it, Adolph.

This stuff's rented.

Here you go, sir.

And this is for you.

Uh, don't tip him, Edie.

We're never going to
see this man again.

Oh, Judy, just
think-- in a few days,

we'll be on the riviera.

Oh, sun.

Oh, men.

Wonderful old buildings.

Italian men.

Quiet little cafes.

French men.

Vicki, there's
more to the Rivera

than French and Italian men.

I guess you're right--

Greek men.

Danke schon.

Hi.
We're the barretts.

Is this where we check in?
- Yes, sir.

I'll take care of that, seeing
as how none of my assistants

are around.

Newlyweds?

That's a good guess.

Oh, Barrett's, sure,
honeymoon suite, two decks up.

Hey, you're the guy I saw
in the park going past me

at miles an hour today.

Yes, I was on my
way to our wedding.

I could take a cab.

So he took his bicycle.

He used to be a bike racer.

Oh.

He won the tour De
France two years ago.

Gopher: No kidding?

But I'm retired now.

Yeah.

Now he's a full-time husband.

So you didn't bring
your bike with you?

No.

In that case, the
elevator's right there.

Thank you.

Jack: She's a beauty, isn't she?

I'll say.

Oh, the ship?

Yes, she's a beauty.

Hi.

Welcome aboard.

I'm Dr. Bricker.

Jack powers.

Say, I'm in promenade - - .

Do you have any
idea where that is?

Right through that door
and to the left, Mr. Powers.

Well, I guess I'll
look after the ship.

I'm sure she'll
be in good hands.

Yeah.

Mr. Powers?

I'm captain stubing.

Have we met before, captain?

You were on one of my
ships a few years ago.

You were involved in
a private high stakes

card game, a considerable
amount of money changed hands.

Unfortunately, not into mine.

Mm.

Mr. Powers, on my
ship, gambling is

permitted only in the casino.

No need to concern yourself
on my account, captain.

My gambling these days is
limited to the stock market.

You can consider me
just another tourist.

Ok.

I want you all to wait right
here while I go and check

with the purser's office.

I'll be right back, ok?

Hello.

I'm Adam bricker,
the ship's doctor.

Nicole Phillips.

I'm bringing a tour
group on the cruise.

Oh, wonderful.

Say, I was just
wondering if you've

had your annual physical?

Excuse me.

What did you say?

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to think of
something charming to say.

And that was the first thing
that popped into my head.

Sorry I'm late, Nicole.

Oh, Dr. Bricker,
this is my brother Don.

Glad to meet you.

Let's go.

I'd like you to
include me in every one

of your tours, day and night.

Well, I don't give
out tours at night.

Then you can join my tour.

Nicole, let's go, ok?

All right.

All right.

Will you join me for
dinner tonight, Ms. Phillips?

I'd love to, doctor.

Thank you.

Ah.

Don.

Yeah.

Let's talk again sometime.

Good day.

Hello there.

Hi.

How you doing?

[Sighs] What's that
supposed to mean--

hi, how you doing?

When was the last time you
heard Jackie onassis or Joan

Collins say, how you doing?

I don't know.

My TV's broken.

I sink my life
savings into this cruise

so that we can find
ourselves rich husbands,

and what do you do?

You talk to these
rich millionaires

like they were just another
one of your customers

at the pig and pancake.

All right.

I'll fake it.

But I can't talk like you.

It hurts my sinuses.

Well, just try to be
careful with the clothes

and this jewelry.

I promised consuela we'd
return this stuff to the wax

museum in perfect condition.

[Screams]

Very funny, consuela.

Madame, downey.

Anton, we promised,
no gloomy goodbyes.

This is a new beginning--

for both of us.

I transferred the car to you.

I wish it could be more.

Thank you, madame.

You have done more than enough.

You have made so many
sacrifices and now the villa--

goodbye, Anton, my
dear, dear friend.

[Ship horn]

Want me to rub some
more lotion on you?

You just rubbed lotion
on me five minutes ago.

Maybe you should rub
some more lotion on me.

I just put lotion on
you two minutes ago.

Do you want to go
back to the room?

You know, you're pretty sexy
when you're not on a bicycle.

You miss it?

Believe it or not--

making love to you is more
fun than the tour De France.

Oh, thanks.

I bet it's more fun than a
visit to the dentist too.

Mind if I join you?

Coach?

Charlie.

What are you doing here?

I don't have to start
the job for two weeks.

I've never taken a cruise.

So I figured, what the hell?

Relax.

Take the boat down
to the riviera

and cheer on all the boys in
the tour De la cote d'azur.

Charlie, Scott's not
going to race anymore.

Hey, I know that.

He's retired.

I'm retired.

Everybody's retired.

I'm just having fun in the sun.

Ok, girl.

Get down there and mingle.

Ok.

Hello there.

I thought the drinks
were free on this ship.

Excuse me, wrong stool.

[Gasps] The
American in the park.

Right.

Ace Evans.

Hi.

Edie ro-- Adams
Rosenberg with a hyphen.

With a hyphen?

Yeah.

You know, like, Edie
Adams-Rosenberg.

Yeah.

Gosh.

What a coincidence running
into you on this ship.

Well, it was bound to
happen sooner or later.

I'm the ship's photographer.

Oh, you're one of the crew?

Do you think I'd dress like
this if I didn't have to, hmm?

[Clears throat]

Justina!

Jack.

I'm so glad to see you.

What are you doing here?

I'm taking a cruise.

Of course you are.

Justina.

I've written you so many
times over the past few years,

trying to explain,
asking you to forgive me.

Forgive you?

Well, I didn't forgive you then.

What makes you think i'd
forgive you now, when you

mean absolutely nothing to me?

We better get
dressed for dinner.

It's getting pretty late.

Ok.

We could skip dinner.

See you in the cabin.

I'll be the one getting
dressed for dinner.

Man, I should have taken one
of these cruises years ago.

You know, they've
got women masseuses?

Of course, a newlywed guy like
you wouldn't be interested.

But for an old bachelor
like me, it's a thrill.

Beer.

You ready?

I'm all set.

You read the new issue
of "bicycle racer?"

Haven't been doing a
lot of reading, coach.

Oh.

Of course not.

It's got a big article
on Carl Mueller.

Mueller says he owns
the cote d'azur.

Well, he's won it
three years in a row.

Four times, but
who's counting?

He mentioned you in the article.

Of course, he should-- you've
beaten him enough times.

Of course, you've never
beaten him in the hills.

Coach, I'm not racing.

You could take him.

Not in that race.

Yeah, but you've been doing
a lot of hill work lately.

You're stronger.

You're stronger than
you've ever been.

Look, coach, I made Kelly a
promise when we got married--

no more racing.

We've been engaged long
distance for four years.

If you came on this cruise
just to get me to do that race,

you're wasting your time.

It's over.

I'll just leave this
at the desk for you.

Mm-hmm.

You don't mind that I ordered
a California wine, do you?

No, not at all.

It's kind of fun for me
seeing it listed as imported.

Good evening, Don.

Nice talking to you again too.

I don't think he approves of me.

I'm sorry.

You'll have to forgive Don.

It hasn't been easy for him.

He was born when our
parents were older.

And they d*ed when he was young.

Since then, he's been
traveling all over Europe

trying to find himself.

Unfortunately, he's been
doing it by chasing women

and spending all of his money.

Sounds like me as a young man.

Sounds like me now.

Well, why don't we
go up on deck later,

and you can help me find myself.

Excuse me.

Who is that
sitting in my place?

He's loaded.

His family invented bathrooms.

Wow, everybody's
got one of those.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

Sorry, you're going to have to
find some place else to sit.

Hi.

Hi.

You waiting for someone?

No, not really.

Well, then why don't
you have dinner with me

at the captain's table?

Gee, I don't know.

I wouldn't want to intrude.

Oh, no.
No, not at all.

They're really terrific people.
Come on.

You'll like them.

And I'll sh**t you
with my new video camera.

Ah.
Here we are.

Excuse me, Edie, this
is captain stubing.

Good evening.

And everyone, this is
Edie Adams-Rosenberg.

With a hyphen.

Yeah.

That's a very
interesting last name.

Yes.

It's from my father's
side of the family.

I only say that
because actually there

are two sides, all in all.

There is the Adams family,
from which both myself

and our late president
John Quincy Adams

are direct descendants.

Then there's the Rosenberg
family, originally from Milan

and Geneva, who later
moved to england

and eventually came to
america on the mayflower.

That's funny.

I've read a lot of
literature on the mayflower.

And I don't remember
any passengers

with the name of Rosenberg.

Oh.

Well, that's because
they were traveling

under an assumed name.

That's where I
get the name Edie.

Your ancestor's signature is
actually on the magna carta?

Yep.

Right at the bottom.

Well.

But enough about my family.

You tell me about yours.

Well, none of my family
signed any famous documents

that I know of.

No?

Mm.

So then what do you
want to talk about?

Well, who says that
we have to talk at all?

Hmm.

[Gasps]

What?

My sister is very protective.

She's always
worried that the men

I date might be after my money.

She's going to k*ll me.

Some things are
worth dying for.

This is right out of
the travel brochure--

lovely moon, balmy night air.

I would have thought
the air at the casino

would be more to your liking.

Oh, I don't spend as much
time in casinos as I used to.

I do my gambling
on wall street now.

And I've been very lucky.

I'm glad for you.

You know, when I think
that it was your money

that came between us--

here you were the
beautiful heiress

to the downey fortune living
in a villa on the riviera.

And I was a gambler.

What could I possibly
have to offer you?

I'm sorry you
didn't know how much.

I heard you married.

I've been a widow
for two years.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You know, justina, I
never stopped loving you.

You know, I really
envy you, miss Phillips.

It must be so much fun having
your own travel agency.

Mm.

It is.

But there's work involved too.

One of my reasons
for taking this trip

is to make up a new
travel brochure,

something different-- you know,
sights seen through new eyes.

Well, my eyes are
practically brand new.

Terrific.

Vicki handles the newsletter
on our regular cruise ship.

She's pretty good.

Well, would you
like to try it, Vicki?

Oh, I would love to.

You could write
up a travel brochure

from your own point of view.

Oh, great.

Hey, you know, I'll
borrow a typewriter.

No, no, no, no.

Maybe I should write
it in long hand--

I heard John steinbeck-- no,
even better, even better,

I'll just borrow my
dad's tape recorder

and dictate the whole thing.

I heard it worked
for Sidney Sheldon.

Sidney Sheldon?

Do you think she'll
be disappointed

if you don't publish her
brochure in hardcover?

Wait till you see
what I sh*t in Hamburg.

I have two hours of tape.

Two hours?

I don't remember it
snowing in Hamburg.

Captain stubing: Look,
there's the town hall.

Maybe you should
use subtitles, sir.

Well, something must have
been wrong with the camera.

But I've got some marvelous
footage of you, gopher,

walking along the baden strasse.

Now, don't go to
any trouble, sir.

I've seen myself walk.

Sit down.

I've got some great
footage of Vicki and you.

Vicki: The Italian riviera,
home of lots of Italian people.

And portofino, a picturesque
Italian village on the coast

of Italy with picturesque
little boats and stuff.

Portofino, quaint
little town with three

little os in its name.

[Scoffs] No, no, no.

That's no good.

What I need is
adventure and romance.

Exciting portofino,
full of adventurous,

exciting, and romantic
boats and sailboats.

Portofino, the city
she couldn't describe

if her life depended on it.

, lira for a tablecloth?

I've never spent ,
of anything in my life.

Well, you're worth it.

And we won't tell
anyone it's only $ . .

Oh, come on.

You take all the
fun out a shopping.

Kelly.

Scott.

Coach, what a surprise.

So what are you kids doing?

Trying to have a honeymoon.

Say, how about
if I buy you lunch?

I know this great restaurant.

It's got Italian food.

Hard to find in Italy.

Yeah, but this
is great Italian,

just like you get in New York.

I know.

It's a small joke.

But the food is really good.

You're going to enjoy it.

Come on.

[Gasps] Yoo-hoo, Edith.

Could you get
me some ice cream?

Thanks.

So how are you doing?

Me?

Oh, I'm just standing here,
not waiting for anyone.

New guy?

Oh, he is terrific.

He's a bank.

I've got him eating out of the
palm of my hand, literally.

He makes me feed him chocolate.

Great.

Well, got to run.

Wait.

What's your plan for today?

My plan?

Well, actually, i'm
waiting for someone.

I thought you just said you
weren't waiting for anyone.

Oh that.

[Laughing]

That was a joke.

We don't laugh enough anymore.

Sisters should have fun.

All right, Edie.

Who is he?

Just a guy--

very, very wealthy.

In fact, this guy is
so wealthy his goldfish

have a summer aquarium.

There he is.

See you.

Way to go, sis.

Hi.

I'm from the
president's commission

on hysterical behavior.

Would you mind answering
some questions for me?

Well, you just think about it.

Bye.

They didn't have
peanut butter fudge.

So I played it safe
and got vanilla.

What were you doing in the car?

Oh, I uh--

I ran into a cousin.

Do you believe it?

Those Adams-rosenbergs
are all over the place.

So gopher, where
is this restaurant?

I'm sure it was by the harbor.

The whole city
is by the harbor.

Or maybe it was in the hills.

Or maybe it was in Los Angeles.

Listen, I'm going
to ask somebody.

No, no, no.
Let me.

I speak the language here.

Gopher, I'm starving.

You see that
restaurant over there?

Mm-hmm.

If I can afford
it, I'm eating there.

Ah.

Ah.

Per favore, signorina.

Yes?

Hi.

Uh my name-- my name--

it's gopher.

Do you-- want to get married?

This must be your first
time on the riviera.

No, no.

But when I was here
before, uh, it was colder.

Maybe this will help.

Oh yeah.

That's much better.

You are American?

No, United States.

Yes.

American, right.

Yes.

Guess you might say i'm--

I'm new in town, far from
home, all alone, and in need

of a meaningful relationship.

And lunch-- how about lunch?

Oh, I'm with a girlfriend.

I'm with a friend.

That's great!

Table for four.

Oh, we're leaving in a few
minutes to drive to nice.

Nice!

Is this Karma, or what?

My friend and I
are going to nice.

Oh, we're going to
watch the bicycle race,

the tour De la cote d'azur.

The race at the tour
De la cote d'azur?

My friend and I are
going to see the race

at the tour De la cote d'azur.

Oh.

We were hoping to meet
some of the racers.

We're racers.

No.

Yes.

I would never lie to someone
with whom I hope to have

a meaningful relationship.

[Car horn]

Gina, andiamo.

[Speaking Italian]

We'll be staying at
the hotel ciano, nice.

Ciao.

Ciao.

I love Europe.

May I join you?

Seems you already have.

Il conto.

Can't you let down
the barriers, justina?

I may not be able to
make amends for the past.

But it is the past.

And you think I've been
exacting too harsh a penalty.

I think so.

You know, I don't
think either one of us

has been able to enjoy a
minute of this cruise so far.

Grazie.

Why don't we spend the
day together in portofino?

If you still can't forgive
me by the end of the day,

I promise that I'll
join the foreign legion.

American legion?

Legion of decency?

Any legion you like.

You choose.

I really should
apologize to you, doctor.

I-- I've been kind
of rude to you.

Well, let's not say rude.

Let's just say-- yeah,
rude is a good word.

Well, it seems that
you and my sister

have taken quite a
liking to each other.

So why don't we be friends?

Well, I'm delighted
on both counts--

that you want to be friends
and that your sister

has taken a liking to me.

Listen, I've got
a terrific idea.

A friend of mine
is in from nice.

And we're going to
meet for dinner.

And you and the captain
are both invited.

Well, that's wonderful.

I've written it down here.

And why don't we meet
you there at : ?

- Great.
- Great.

See you there?

- Ok.
- Ok.

Take it easy.
- Where are you going?

Hey, sightseeing.
Listen.

Have a good time, ok?

Ok.

Looks like my brother
approves of you.

I hear his sister does too.

I guess it's no
longer just a rumor.

Adam!

Nicole!

Wave at the camera.

Maybe it will work this time.

How nice, we'll have a little
memento of our trip, huh?

Don't get your hopes up.

The FBI takes better
pictures through air vents.

[Laughing]

Ah, here it is.

It'll only take a minute.

Ok.

We'll wait right here.

Now, after we have dinner with
your brother and his friend,

you play travel agent
for the captain.

Play travel agent?

Yeah.

Tell him about some
wonderful places

he can take pictures with
his camera way over that way,

while we go way over that way.

You're bad.

[Speaking Italian]
Stupid americano.

Merrill, what happened?

I don't know.

I just ask them
to fix my camera.

He said it wasn't broken.

I said it's got to be broken.

And it went downhill from there.

Oh, he didn't speak English.

And I did my best with Italian.

Well, what did you say?

Well I said,
[Speaking Italian]

[Laughing] I'm afraid
you said his mother spends

a lot of time with sailors.

I think I better apologize.

Quit while you're
ahead, merrill.

[Speaking Italian]

You know, Scott's as famous in
Europe as a lot of movie stars

are in the states.

- So I see.
- Yeah.

I'd say I'm somewhere between
Clint Eastwood and Kermit

the frog.

[Applause]

Oh, look.

There's Mueller.

Who?

Carl Mueller, the
best cyclist in Europe.

No way, kid.

You're the best.

I'm retired.

Oh, thank you.

Barrett.

And I thought you'd finally
realized you were finished.

So what are you doing here?

I'm on my honeymoon.

This is my wife, Kelly.

You know Charlie fields.

Going to watch
me win the race?

Be sure and catch
me on the hills.

You never have before.

[Laughing]

That was a pretty
dirty trick, Charlie.

You knew he'd be here.

No, no.

Come on, Kelly.

Let's get out of here.

Wait a minute, Scotty.

Scotty.

Oh, Barrett, I hope I
didn't spoil your lunch.

You want to go shopping?

The beach?

I'm sorry, what?

Never mind.

Let's just go back to the ship.

[Laughter]

Oh, there's Don.

[Car horn]

Marcel!

Marcel!

Look out!

Man, are you ok?
Don't move.

Don't move.

Just stay there.

Is he hurt badly?

Let me take a look at him.

Does he speak English?

Yeah, yeah.

What is your name?

Marcel.

Marcel villemin.

Where are we?

Portofino.

Well, at least there are no
outward signs of head injury.

Now, call an ambulance.

No.

No ambulance.

You should listen to him.

He's a doctor.

You should get to a
hospital immediately.

I-- I don't like hospitals.

I'm fine.

Easy.

You don't understand.

There could be a concussion
or internal injuries.

I tell you, I'm all right.

I think he's right.

Marcel is one of those stubborn,
strong-headed frenchmen.

If he doesn't want to go
to a hospital, forget it.

See, I'm fine.

I strongly recommend
you be checked,

have some x-rays taken.

I'm fine.

I'll get him to
his hotel safely.

Thanks, Dr. Bricker.

It's a miracle he wasn't hurt.

[Soft jazz music]

Your father never
approved of me.

Remember that sign he put up
at the gate to the villa--

no gamblers allowed.

He thought you were trying
to seduce his daughter.

Well, I was.

Really?

I thought she was
trying to seduce you.

Yeah.

That seems a long time ago.

We didn't know
what we were doing.

I didn't.

I really needed to make
it on my own, justina.

And now I have.

Maybe it's not too late.

Jack, you're going to start
talking about the future.

Let's just enjoy tonight.

I'm not giving up.

I've found you again.

And I'm not going to let you go.

I'll tell you what.

We're arriving at
vielle, France tomorrow.

I'll rent a car, and
we'll drive to the villa.

Oh no, we can't.

I uh-- I have some
business to take care of.

All right.

Later then.

Lunch at la reserve?

That sounds lovely.

See you tomorrow.

Goodnight.

I can't believe what
you told that girl.

I'm sorry.

It just rolled off my tongue.

There's no way we're going
to look like bicycle racers.

Trust me.

I hate it when you do that.

Why do you always
have to lie to women?

I don't know.

I see them, and they're all
so beautiful that I want them,

every one.

So I fudge the truth a tad.

It's a sickness.

Guess so.

I'm not going to
be a part of this.

Oh, wait a minute.

There's Scott.

He can help us.

Scott!

Hi.

Listen, we have
a little problem.

I'd love to help you guys.

But I've got a little
problem of my own.

Right.

Well, what we need
to know is how

do you become a bicycle racer--

not a champion, you
understand-- just passable?

Ok.

First you quit your job.

Then you ride a bicycle
every day for five hours.

Do that for years.

And maybe you'll
be a bike racer.

Well, there's no way we're
going to do that in three days.

Scott.

There's got to be some
way to bring this off.

You didn't see these girls.

You told some girls
you were bike racers?

He did.

I didn't.

All right.
Come on.

I'll lend you some gear.

At least you'll
look like racers.

You should have told them
you were soccer players.

It's a lot easier to fake.

Gopher: I should
have thought of that.

I already have the ball.

Oh, darn.

I lost a stone in this bracelet.

Consuela is going to charge me
another bucks to replace it.

Hey, you better hurry
up and get dressed.

Oh.

I'm not going to go out tonight.

I already caught my
rich portofino man.

He's driving up to
meet me in nice.

So i-- I guess
there's no need to do

any more mingling on board.

I'm so proud of you, sis.

Well, I'm out of here.

[Knock at door]

Hi.

Boy.

I sure am glad you're not one of
those guys that shows up early.

Judy, this is hopeless.

Everything that I could possibly
write about these places

has already been written.

Well, maybe I can
lend you a hand.

Ok.

Ok, tell me how this sounds--

portofino, city of enchantment,
romance, and fun stuff to do.

Stinks, huh?

This is not going to be easy.

Where's Kelly?

She didn't feel
much like dinner.

She had a bad lunch.

Ok.

I was way out of line.

You knew Mueller
was going to be there.

What are you trying to do?

When I retired,
everything was fine.

Why is it so important
now that I race?

What the bicycle company
wants is the man who coaches

the winner of the cote d'azur.

It can be me, or it
can be Mueller's coach.

They don't care.

What do you mean?

If I don't win that race,
you don't have a job?

What can I say?

The race is getting
a lot of press.

That makes the winner's
coach a celebrity.

Charlie, I promised Kelly.

Hey, I know.

I can't ask you
to do this for me.

And I'm sorry I wasn't
up front with you.

All the years we
worked together,

I was always honest with you.

I hope I didn't louse that up.

Coach, you didn't
louse anything up.

Captain stubing (on pa):
Ladies and gentlemen,

we are now leaving genoa.

Our next stop will
be vielle, France

on the fabulous French riviera.

[Rock music]

Still thinking
about the accident?

Yeah.

I know.

I can't get it out
of my mind either.

You know, it happened so fast.

I just can't believe that
the driver didn't see him.

Tell you what.

Why don't we go
inside and dance, huh?

I really don't
feel like dancing.

Neither do I. But
in the mood we're in,

it's either that
or jump overboard.

Well, let's dance.

I don't want to get
my uniform what.

Don: Nicole.

Is something wrong?

Yeah.

I just got a telephone
call from Marcel's wife.

He collapsed in his hotel room.

Well, did someone
take him to a hospital?

Yeah, they did.

But he d*ed on the way.

Judy (on pa): We will be
arriving at vielle, France

on the French
riviera in one hour.

Launches will be available
to take you ashore.

From there, transportation
will be provided to all points

along the cote d'azur.

Adam, you can't keep
punishing yourself for something

that was beyond your control.

Merrill, it wasn't
beyond my control.

I'm a doctor.

I should have seen
something, some sign.

Well, you suggested
he get x-rays.

I shouldn't have suggested.

I should have insisted.

Adam, I still think you've
been too hard on yourself.

Maybe all i'm
good for is doling

out aspirin and seasick pills.

I know how you must
feel, Dr. Bricker.

Well, what about you?

You lost a good friend.

Yeah, yeah.

But it's worse for
Marcel's family.

Did he have any children?

Yeah, three of them.

I'm going to visit them in nice.

And I have a little money.

It might help, at least pay
for the funeral arrangements.

Do you mind if I come along?

I feel somehow responsible.

You shouldn't feel that way.

But look, if you
do want to come,

I'll call you before
I leave the ship.

Ok.

Thanks.

[Waltz music]

[Theme music]
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