02x03 - The Fool

[bunniefuu]

(SNORTS, CLEARS THROAT)

Don't take this the wrong way,

but I feel like you're the type of guy

who's, like, never taken a moment

to, like, think about who you are.

- (RISHI RAMDANI SNORTS, EXHALES)
- (KNOCKING AT THE DOOR)

- I'm just wiping!
- Like your identity,

your existence,

- your f*cking adequacy.
- Yeah, that sounds tiring.

Don't you think that, like,
people underestimate you?

Not when I'm printing biz.

When you're printing biz,

it doesn't matter about
your relationships,

or the firm, because you are...

HARPER STERN: Printing biz?

(MUFFLED MUSIC BLARING)

RISHI: (SNORTS) Oh!

Yeah, I'm not sure
Eric agrees with that.

RISHI: Harper, Jesse f*cking Bloom?

Today you touched the face of God,

and for a moment became him.

- This really works.
- Yeah.

Like a bat up your night-dress.

(SNORTS) f*ck!

(HARPER CHUCKLES) Excuse me.

- RISHI: Simon. Theodore.
- (LAUGHS)

- (MUSIC AT FULL VOLUME)
- HARPER: Yo, are you coming back? Ours?

- Uh, mine, right? The afters.
- After what?

"After the party to the hotel lobby?"

- Come on. Let's go.
- (DANNY VAN DEVENTER LAUGHING)

Forget your beer. Forget your beer.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

RISHI: "When Graham
Gray is offered a pill

that rids him of his conscience,

he must ask himself the question,

'How much of his humanity

is he willing to give up to get ahead?'"

GUS SACKEY: Belongs in an airport.

God, he must know someone at Faber.

- (SNORTS)
- GUS: Only explanation.

RISHI: Good luck to him.

Gus has been writing
his for over a... year?

- It's, uh...
- (INHALES DEEPLY)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Andy McNab in Westminster.

(CHUCKLES) Please
re-enter the workforce.

(LIGHT POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER STEREO)

DVD: I had a teacher once who told me,

"Your life depends upon
your power to master words."

He made me feel ten feet tall.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

I... I need to go to bed.

(SNORTS)

Oi, what have you got to wake up for?

: a.m. family book club Facetime.

Good night.

- (PHONE DINGS)
- Why are you so scared of going to bed?

There's nothing more
terrifying than a cold pillow.

- DVD: Yeah.
- Is that your fiancé?

I gotta go.

Uh, dude, hang around. Hang around.

(CLEARS THROAT)

RISHI: Congrats on the sex.

So, you've got a big
family? Must be eventful.

("MOTH" BY DUA SALEH PLAYING)

(SCOFFS) Mm.

- It's just you?
- Uh, I have a brother.

Older. Ten minutes older.

So, he's the paragon of virtue?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Kinda.

What's his story?

I'm percent sure that he's in Berlin.

Uh, he likes to travel.

♪ Spring to the hours ♪

♪ Converse, kick me in your mug ♪

♪ Pink piranha bite ♪

♪ On the blisters of your tongue ♪

I, uh, need to get some sleep.

♪ Park it out front ♪

♪ Barking 'cause the dr*gs ♪
♪ And the genie in my lungs ♪

♪ Swish that's nug... ♪

I'll see you in the office.

♪ That's love ♪
♪ Give me kisses... ♪

- (DOOR SHUTS)
- (WATER TRICKLING)

(WATER DRIPPING)

(HARPER MOANS)

(BOTH MOAN)

(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

(ROBERT SPEARING BREATHES HEAVILY)

(HARPER MOANS)

(ROBERT BREATHES HEAVILY)

Don't worry about it. (MOANS)

(SIGHS, MOANS)

(MOANS)

- (PHONE VIBRATES)
- (GROANS)

JESSE BLOOM: (OVER PHONE)
Look at the mess you made.

I have half the Rican board
sh1tting into my inbox.

Love it.

They sent me a "check the
box to proxy vote" form.

(SIGHS) Did you sign?

JESSE: (OVER PHONE) Why would
I sign away voting rights

twenty-four hours
after buying percent

of this f*cking thing?

Well done, by the way.
You in the office?

- (DOOR OPENING OVER PHONE)
- Oh, my son just got home.

I don't know where he spends his nights.

(SIGHING) Hey, you're
not connected to anyone

that went to Oxford, are you?

I get the sense that Oxford
is not unlike the mob.

JESSE: (OVER PHONE)
You think you could hook me up

with a tutor, like, yesterday?

Kid's got a deadline looming.

We had a whole day planned tomorrow,

and now I have to drag
him to f*cking Wales.

I'll see what I can do.

JESSE: (OVER PHONE)
All part of the service.

Riddle me this.

How many grouse can you
m*ssacre with an AR- ?

Sub-question. Why do
banks still do this sh*t?

I'll see you on the sh**t.

The sh**t.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (PHONE RINGING)

HARPER: You wanted to see me?

ERIC TAO: My mentor Newman got me this

the first time I traded with Meriwether

at Long-Term Capital Management.

He made up some bunkum about...

how many pockets it's seen.
Real estate deals, divorces,

insolvencies, arrest
warrants, declarations of w*r.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

ERIC: When he handed it to me,

he said, "Choose your own adventure."

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

I genuinely thought
letting Bloom in was smart.

- Saved the book.
- Bloom's a get. No question.

Hence, rite of passage memorabilia.

But look, he isn't
some guy you just cover.

I could hear ten red flags in the trade

a third-year's ear simply
isn't tuned to hear.

You panicked, he heard it.

And then...

- he ran you over.
- But Felim pulled...

ERIC: Bloom knew we had a position.

Knew it was almost hung.

Waited until Rishi was in max pain

before taking it.

But Felim pulled. We were DOA.

Felim was waiting to squeeze Rishi,

who would have improved.

Felim wins, the desk
wins, and Rican wins.

They were counting on
Felim to anchor the deal.

Not only did you lose control,
but you replaced Felim,

a known entity friendly
to the board's agenda,

with Mr. Covid!

I was servicing a client
three times the size of Felim.

A skilled salesperson protects
the client and the firm

while letting both think
they're his priority.

Win-win.

We particularly know how
crucial Felim is to our desk.

And especially to you. I know...

To us.

Harper.

We'll smooth it all out, on the sh**t.

Bloom mentioned a "sh**t."

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Do you have his ear?

He called me again.

ERIC: Good. Nurture that.

A trip to Richard Burton country.

Wales, Harper. Wales.

For weeks, IBD has thought

Felim was gonna buy the
stake you sold to Bloom.

So, Pierpoint organized
a celebratory event

for the new Rican investors.
They know Felim loves to sh**t.

Right, yeah.

Still trying to figure out
how that's a viable pastime.

(CHUCKLES) This is a strange island.

IBD is losing their sh*t,

and holding our desk's feet to the fire.

But we know everything will
be copacetic once Bloom...

sells his share to Felim.

You and I are not Eric
and Harper in this.

We're vassals of the firm.

Win-win.

(ENIGMATIC SYNTHESIZER MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOOR SHUTS)

- All good?
- Yes, fine.

Bit of a strange conversation
with Enzo Carbone.

I feel like he's no longer
the decision maker there.

Yeah. I got the sense that was Rocco,

even from the one meeting.

I can't even get him on the phone.

Thank you for doing this anyway.

I'm excited.

We like names like Tencent.
Tesla. Long term winners.

Buy and hold.

I'd also like to put some
impact investment on the table.

Of course, nominally, it
would be me covering you

in order to avoid any
conflict of interest.

But we'd both be truly at your disposal.

That painting is...

I think...

ersatz.

Oh, I can assure you it's not.

This is very professional.

She's very impressive, isn't she?

And in terms of moving
holdings over to us...

This has been a wonderful
end to my morning.

I saw some live geese, then spinning,

then an unparalleled hour at Fortnum's.

I'm trying to be more present.

Yasmin knows I'm unsophisticated
when it comes to these affairs.

I always thought them rather grubby,

although they gild
everything, of course.

I can't really make any decisions

without speaking to our family office.

Little Maximus, who my spies tell me

you've been seeing
rather a lot of, "Mina."

(SNICKERING)

Well, unless there's anything else?

A memorable time spent with
two very impressive young women.

- (CLATTERS)
- Mm-hmm.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

I've booked us your
favorite spot for lunch.

Your beloved Daphne's.

You do not live in the real world.

What's the matter?

Did you not sit through
what I just sat through?

This is my job.

This is my career.

I know it's a f*cking
alien concept to you.

It's not f*cking parents' evening.

Oh God, another alien concept!

Could you not have given me minutes

of professional respect?

Stay out of my life.

But I've booked Diana and Dodi's table.

- (ELEVATOR DINGS)
- (SCOFFS)

(TRAIN HORN BLARING)

BUFFET CAR SERVER: That's
two-fifty total, please.

Oh, f*ck. My purse.
I left it on the seat.

Is it just a coffee? I can get it.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

ANNA GEARING: Thank you.
That's really very kind.

(RUSTLES, TEARS)

I've just come to expect better ATD.

Attention to detail from Pierpoint.

Everyone who works for this,
is part of the Rican family,

so I feel a paternal instinct,
and a paternal disappointment.

I'll make sure the deck's updated

before anyone else sees it.

You know, Bloom hasn't
even signed the proxy vote?

What sorta system have we built
where a stranger can waltz in,

and take forty-odd percent
of a company I built?

James, I know this sh**t was
supposed to be a victory lap.

But now, we can be nimble.

Eric Tao, who heads
up Cross Product Sales,

has promised me Bloom's
selling the block

to Felim Bichan at Fenmarsh.
Who was all of our top pick.

I spoke to Felim overnight.

Him owning percent I can live with.

He knows our vision. We
can trust him not to sell

until the timing's right.

We're circling

an eight-billion-dollar valuation here.

As long as you take
care of this pitch book.

And keep page away from
that crusader Anna Gearing.

Her and her friend

have been a constant
pain in my ass on this.

- (RUSTLES)
- It's handled.

So, Harper put you up to this?

She a company man?

Think it's her life. (CHUCKLES)

(FAINT MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES)

What does... what does your Dad do?

He's the Ghanaian Ambassador to Angola.

You're f*cking serious right now.

My dad was a Post Office clerk.

I imagine unlike your dad,

like, my dad did not expect much of me.

Which college has Leo applied to?

Uh, he's doing an open application.

Okay. First error.

What's he going to read?

Uh. (SCOFFS) Books, I hope?

(SCOFFS)

He needs to write his
personal statement,

that essay,

and it needs to be done
before we return to London.

You spent much time in Wales?

I hear they have a healthy
contempt for the English.

And who do you think
is hornier for cash,

Tony Blair or Prince Andrew?

JACKIE WALSH: Do you consider
yourself a Christian then?

KENNY KILBANE: I'm not sure
I would go that far yet, but...

you know, one of the things
you'd have to get onboard with

is that grief is actually a
concession to a higher power.

JACKIE: ... actually studied
theology at Oxford, at Regents.

- KENNY: No way.
- (PHONE RINGING)

- ROCCO CARBONE: (OVER PHONE) Pronto.
- Rocco. Hi.

It's Yasmin, from Pierpoint.

ROCCO: Yasmin! (CHUCKLES)
Great to hear your voice.

Sorry for the noise. We're refueling.

Was just seeing Antoine at Loro Piana.

- Some juicy acquisition gossip?
- (ROCCO CHUCKLES)

My father staunchly refuses to
become part of the LVMH family.

(SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)

(ROCCO REPLYING IN ITALIAN PHONE)

ROCCO:

ROCCO: (OVER PHONE, IN ENGLISH) Huh.

You said you were kind
of straddling two sides

of the business? What was it?

Um, private wealth and,
uh, FX hedge-fund sales.

ROCCO: (OVER PHONE) Okay.

ROCCO: (SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(REPLYING IN ITALIAN)

ROCCO:

- ROCCO: Bye. Ciao.
- Ciao.

(LINE DISCONNECTS)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (PHONE RINGING)

Jackie, are you free to talk
to a client about cryptos?

I don't have time to swot up.

JACKIE: Hedge funds or real money?

Private individual. Italian.

Oh, man, I don't cozy up
to Euro types for no margin.

I like to rip 'em off, Yas.

The H on their belts
stands for "hoodwinked."

I spent a lot of
lockdown punting cryptos.

JACKIE: Cryptos reek of virginity

and building your own
b*mb, but Ken's more fluent

than he cares to admit.

I'm happy to clue
them up. Phone, person.

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

It's a dinner, tonight.

Well, if you want me, I'm here.

Best self. Need to be
better at managing juniors.

(KENNY CHUCKLING)

Okay.

Okay. Thank you.

JACKIE: So, Venetia, actually...

Okay.

JACKIE: What the f*ck are you
doing on a foreign exchange system?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

GUEST : Hello. Thank you.

(GLASS CLATTERING)

(SPEAKING WELSH)

- (WAITER CHUCKLES)
- WAITER : (IN ENGLISH) Oh, my God!

- (CLANKING, CLATTERING)
- (WAITER CONTINUES SPEAKING WELSH)

(BAG UNZIPPING)

(RHYTHMIC KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Coming.

- JESSE: Yo.
- Hello.

- JESSE: You have a minute?
- Yeah, I do. Come in.

- They call it a "snug."
- (CHUCKLES)

- Ugly word for an ugly room.
- (CHUCKLES)

Of course Pierpoint put you in here.

I made them give your friend
Gus the Queen Elizabeth Suite,

just to f*ck with them.

Do you know that Pierpoint
is intending to ambush you?

(GLASSES CLATTERING)

It's cute when young people
use these militaristic terms

to describe something
so run-of-the-mill.

At least now I can sell
to Felim for a premium.

Always game for making a
quick buck off a competitor,

- it's the part that thrills me.
- Mmm.

I guess showing face could
mean you have a vested interest.

Jacks up the price of your stake.

(CHUCKLES) It would probably
make life a lot easier

if I just sold to Felim, right?

Or maybe I want to watch
them scramble around me first?

(CHUCKLES) Courtiers around a King.

From what I know about Felim,

he's a walking f*cking affectation.

But I know he's the great pretender.

He was born in state housing in Glasgow,

and he acts like Richard Rich.

(SNIFFLES)

Deep in the fun of ' , GS
marked down my collateral,

triggered major margin calls.

I needed NAV waivers to buy time,

but my salesperson, Amy, sweet kid,

overeducated, bit neo-conny, but sweet,

made it very clear that
her voice was Goldman's.

So, my custom... Well,
how could I keep...

talking to Amy after
she broke our covenant?

She acted like she
could live without me.

Her life was contingent on me.

(JESSE BREATHES SHARPLY)

(JESSE SIGHS)

Do you think I should sell to Felim?

Pierpoint want you to.

Sell-side playbook.

You realize that's your boss

trying to "seniorize" that relationship

by telling you what to do?

I don't care what your employer thinks,

I don't care what your boss thinks.

The lie of the sell-side

is that your colleagues
aren't your competitors.

What do you think I should do?

I'm not sure I even know

what the pieces on the board look like.

(SIGHS)

Well, then how do you
expect us to play the game?

(BOTTLE THUDS SOFTLY)

I'm not sure Rican are
being totally transparent.

(SIGHS) Fine.

I'll ask again after we
m*rder some sentient creatures.

(SIGHS) Generally, when I
ask a question like that,

I expect an answer
that's more interesting

than the one you just gave.

You are your view.

- (FLOOR CREAKING)
- (FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

They have Au Bon Climat
here. I swear by it.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(ROCCO CHUCKLING)

Let's speak English.

- (IN ENGLISH) Oh, sorry.
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

ROCCO: Um... for me,
some sparkling water.

- But you indulge.
- YASMIN KARA-HANANI: Great.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (UTENSILS CLATTERING)

YASMIN: So, Kenny...

Uh, do you want to clue
Rocco up on the crypto space?

Rocco, Kenny is our guy on this.

I was skeptical about them as
a genuine asset class but...

YASMIN: Well...

Blockchain's like the future.

Right, Kenny?

What does your tattoo mean?

Um...

It... it's fairly trite.

Essentially means "Carpe Diem."

(KENNY LAUGHING)

This might sound a bit strange but...

you a friend of Billy's?

(CHUCKLES)

- Yes!
- I knew it. (LAUGHS)

I'm eight years. Are you...

KENNY: Oh, just coming
up on four months...

- ROCCO: Congratulations.
- ... but one day at a time.

- KENNY: Thank you, man.
- (ROCCO LAUGHING)

Yeah. It's "carpe diem"
to civilians, but...

- if you know, you know, right?
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)

"Civilians." I like that. (LAUGHS)

Yeah.

KENNY: So, listen, as
someone who made a k*lling

on DogeLite and Ethereum,

the best financial
advice I can give you is

throw a dart at the board.

- (ROCCO CHUCKLING SOFTLY)
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Nobody knows anything!

(ALL LAUGH)

ROCCO: So a friend of mine has
just purchased this "Bored Ape."

Should I be adding this
little chimp to my purse?

KENNY: I'd stick with an
actual yacht club if I were you.

JESSE: The concept of a buffet
is absolutely abhorrent to me.

I stopped eating
breakfast in my twenties.

FELIM BICHAN: I will say
that the tipping culture

at these corporate sh**t
gets a little out of hand.

Strikes me as vulgar to carry
that much cash in your breeks.

Morning, Harper.

- Good morning.
- ERIC: Good morning.

FELIM: What a f*cking scruff...

Fieldcraft is so important,
Eric. You never...

LUCINDA YOUNG: Morning, everyone!

Morning. On behalf of Pierpoint,

I am delighted to
welcome Rican Healthcare,

and a number of its key investors.

Without much further ado, toast, tea.

Now, McKelvey!

(ALL APPLAUD)

Thank you, Lucinda, and
our newest investors.

Don't look at me.

I'm just hypothetical in all this.

Well, brevity may or may
not be the soul of wit,

but I think it'd be irresponsible

to give you all firearms

- on the back of some soporific corporate dirge.
- (SCATTERED CHUCKLES)

JAMES MCKELVEY: So, the tele-medicine
revolution continues apace.

Virtual / doctors' appointments,

remote prescription services,

and Rican Healthcare
remains at the hard edge.

Now, here in the UK, we're
proposing a substantial

public-private initiative,

whereby we partner with
the NHS to deliver Rican

to patients across the country.

Good to have you with us,
Madam Member of Parliament.

Increasing access,

reducing costs, improving patient care,

pending regulatory approval.
But you know the spiel by now.

Let's not take time away
from the festivities.

- (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
- Anna Gearing. FutureDawn.

James, if I may, I'd like to ask,

how do you plan on
lowering the US price point

for consumers?

Our interest and stake
from a ESG perspective

was contingent on broadening access,

so we could service
lower-income households.

We're looking to be as
inclusive as we possibly can.

I mean, uh, accessibility
was a founding tenet for us.

- "A doctor in your pocket."
- Harper Stern. Pierpoint.

An impromptu Q&A session. (SCOFFS)

So, can you confirm

that the plan is to
lower the US price point?

ANNA GEARING: I was told that
would happen in six months,

then eight.

Base case keeps moving.

We're still working up the
analysis on the timings.

That's what it is, but you well know

the only reason we exist

is to democratize healthcare,
locally and globally.

ANNA: And there's still no visibility

on how you plan to fund
that lower price point?

JAMES: I'm sure once
we've worked the analysis,

it will tell us.

Okay, let's go see about them birds,

before they start to unionize.

(SCATTERED CHUCKLES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Thanks for that dinner.

Your pal invited me to one
of those posh AA meetings

off the Old Brompton Road.

Incredible networking,
lucky I had my card.

Venetia, we call that kind
of intro by Yas, "value add."

- You should write that down.
- Glad to be of service.

Do you mind if I get Ven to follow up?

Oh, sh*t. I already did.

JACKIE: Oh, f*ck off! Don't
talk to me about Elon Musk.

(CELESTE PACQUET SPEAKING IN GERMAN)

(SPACEY SYNTHESIZER MUSIC PLAYING)

(IN ENGLISH) Precious metals ETFs

are a popular way to
invest in these metals.

Either through physical
or futures-based exposure.

Super. Tschuss!

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

(KEYBOARD CLACKS)

Celeste, hi. Um...

I... (CLICKS TONGUE)

I just really wanted to
apologize for yesterday.

My father can be...

- a bit of a child.
- No need to apologize.

Well, I thought, um,

I should be, you know, proactive.

So...

I had an excellent dinner with
Rocco. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I introduced him to one
of our crypto guys in FX.

They really hit it off. So...

Yeah, I think it could be
super generative for us.

Generative, for whom?

Foreign Exchange Hedge Fund Sales?

Well, you know, we're always
talking about "One Pierpoint,"

breaking down silos,
cross-pollinating clients.

Yes, well, that may be in
your graduate literature.

You just gave him a person
to speak to in this firm

that is not me.

(MENACING MUSIC PLAYING)

I don't like to share my guys,

profit-share, mind-share,
whatever. My list is my list.

I'm so sorry. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

That was not my intention at all.

CELESTE: Oh, I'm sure it wasn't.

It's just not what I
had in mind for you.

- Jesse, Eric Tao.
- Yeah.

Oh, I'm surprised we've never crossed.

Well, why's that a surprise?

Felim, good to see you.

- And you.
- Yeah.

You know, my memory always
seems to relegate you to average.

I remain shocked by your
in-person handsomeness.

- Very good.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Well, the indices are all up this month.

That's all you track, right?

You must be making out like a bandit.

Or maybe missing out on the
Rican block at a discount

has prohibited your fund

from keeping in rude health this month.

Let's not get caught up in the low...

skullduggery of our
profession, shall we, Jesse?

I'm not ashamed of our profession.

We're with the angels.

- No need to dress it up.
- Or dress up even?

Maybe a wee bit more
respect for our hosts?

- (ERIC SNICKERING)
- Oh, I'm dressed up, buddy.

I won't let your cold-weather
breeding convince you otherwise.

Ooh!

Whereabouts was I bred?

You pass to my eye, very aristocratic.

(ERIC CLEARING THROAT)

Imagine thinking it was a good thing

for a man to live a
life and never change.

GRUFFYDD: Would you mind,
uh, gathering round, please?

ANNA: ... sustainable.

GRUFFYDD: Would you gather
round, please? Thank you.

Come on in, I don't bite.
(CHUCKLES) That's extra.

I'm just trying to see all the angles,

so I know how to pitch Bloom.

Sing him a f*cking song.

Win-win.

GRUFFYDD: Well, I hope you've
all enjoyed your bacon butties,

and soaked up, uh, whatever
you drank in the bar last night.

Uh, now, we've got a
-bird day for you,

and we'll be taking in
three drives in total.

For those of you who
haven't sh*t before,

just come to see me,

and we'll get you sorted, all right?

Oh, and by the way.
This morning you may see

a rare white pheasant.

Now, they enjoy diplomatic immunity.

Do not sh**t.

Five hundred pound fine.

- All right?
- (CHUCKLING)

GRUFFYDD Right, well, if you're,
uh, good to go, follow me.

What is it with you
and bullies, eh, Harper?

You just seem to go from one to another.

Just because the business is fickle,

it doesn't mean that you have to be.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(SCOFFS) Leo Bloom is,
uh, an interesting name.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Didn't take your dad for
much of a reader. (CHUCKLES)

Jesse thinks that Ulysses
is a yacht in a marina.

Yeah, I think he thinks
people think he's a philistine.

But... he is a big Mel Brooks fan.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (ZIPPER UNFASTENS)

He... he seems invested
in your academic prospects.

He's, uh... throwing money at it.

- (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
- (BIRDS CHIRPING)

(LEAVES RUSTLING UNDERFOOT)

(CHUCKLES) Your dad's not
paying me to swim with you.

LEO BLOOM: When you're
ready, I'll be right here.

- (DOG BARKING)
- You'll do fine with a bore.

It's, uh, got a nice small
grip and stock on there.

It's perfect for someone like you.

- All right?
- Thanks.

I'll give you a set of these.

Oh, and, uh...

- (BIRDS CHIRPING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CHUCKLES)

(DOG BARKING)

- (WINGS FLUTTERING)
- (g*nsh*t)

(DOG BARKS)

- (WINGS FLUTTERING)
- (g*nsh*t)

FELIM: Pretty snazzy life, right.

(WINGS FLUTTERING)

- (g*nshots)
- SPEAKER: Dogs!

Sorry, Jesse! Wiped
your eye with that one!

(DOGS BARKING)

(g*nsh*t)

(WINGS FLUTTERING)

(g*nshots)

(NEARBY g*nsh*t)

- (CLATTERS)
- (DOG BARKING)

(g*nshots)

GUEST : Nice sh*t!

(STOCK CLATTERS)

(DISTANT g*nshots)

GRUFFYDD: One more
drive until elevenses.

Oh, I could m*rder a chocolate finger.

FELIM: Focus on the head.

- One eye should always be...
- Anna!

You made that look easy.

Not just Peg Totty.

- I sh*t skeet in Beijing ' .
- HARPER: Huh.

Unsurprisingly, nobody bothers to ask.

Right. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- Thank you again for the coffee.
- Yeah. Of course.

If I'd known it was you,

I might have stretched to a cookie.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, we are a Social Impact Fund.

So, it's purportedly harder to buy us.

- Not impossible, just thornier.
- (CHUCKLES) Hmm.

(DOGS BARKING)

I didn't know that a price point cut

was on the cards for a wider rollout.

Was. Was.

The Rican board don't realize
I can hear them patronizing me

through the corporate verbiage.

We own percent equity. I'm
just a small voice to them.

I need to deliver a price cut,
or my investors will wonder

whether Rican actually
qualifies as a moral investment.

Hmm.

I saw you making a
beeline for McKelvey's car.

- I'm a hawk.
- Eagle-eyed.

- (CHUCKLES)
- ANNA: Um...

No, it was actually Felim I was after.

When he takes Bloom's stake,
I'm gonna chew his ear clean off

about lowering that price point.

- What's his position?
- I'd love to know.

Harper, um, this is Aurore, a
risen star in the Tory party.

Very safe seat.

I actually did six years
in DCM at Pierpoint.

- Oh.
- Healthcare.

And now an interest in government.

Aurore's just been nominated

for Health and Social
Care Select Committee.

Rican partnering with the
NHS is an exciting idea.

Is there a timeline
on regulatory approval?

I'm not across those conversations yet.

Though I do agree,

it's a potentially exciting idea,

if Rican can deliver on their promise

to increase access and
reduce costs in the US.

Private healthcare... (SIGHS)

... it's a very emotional subject here.

I imagine without a narrative
that speaks to universality,

it's a bit of a non-starter.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- Sloe gin or Bull sh*t?
- She'll take a punt on the Bull.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- My pleasure. No problem.
- Thank you.

GUEST : I'm not really
into blood sports,

but thankfully pheasant
is sustainable...

(CHUCKLES)

Jesse, try and imagine there's
a hoop on the end of the g*n

rather than just a bead.

So, you can keep the tail
of the bird inside the hoop,

and that way you can track
the line more consistently.

Hmm.

Isn't it ungentlemanly

to comment on someone's sh**ting?

- How many did you get?
- FELIM: I sh*t straight.

You're not supposed to ask, "how many."

JESSE: How the f*ck
is she supposed to know

all the arcane feudal laws
that govern this bullshit?

Is there a handbook they give
certain men at birth or...

FELIM: Harper.

Why don't you blood yourself?

- What?
- Harp, you, you wipe the...

Just get a couple of
fingers in there and daub.

GRUFFYDD: Anyone for a jam sandwich?

- That's it.
- GRUFFYDD: Let's get our

fingers sticky.

- FELIM: Congratulations.
- Thank you.

- Part of the club.
- Great pretender.

Mm-hmm.

Eric, you're about a million
years old in sales years.

You must have been on too
many of these to count.

Isn't it time you hung up your g*n?

Yeah. Maybe. Harper,
can I grab you quickly?

- Yeah.
- (DOG BARKING)

GRUFFYDD: Sticky fingers,
and fishy fingers for all.

Tell your guy to stop f*cking around.

You're not controlling him.

Don't you think we might be
operating in the dark here?

I feel like the board
is deliberately hiding

something material.

- (BIRDS CHIRPING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Am I gonna have to talk to Bloom myself?

GRUFFYDD: There, there!
Look, white pheasant!

(PHEASANT SQUAWKING)

HARPER: He won't listen to you.

- I'm not a f*cking child.
- Respectfully, yes, you are.

GRUFFYDD: Anyone for a jam sandwich?

- (g*nsh*t)
- FELIM: f*ck!

- (DOGS BARKING)
- FELIM: f*ck! f*ck!

Missed.

ERIC: Holy sh*t!

GRUFFYDD: Bloody fool, you
hit him with the pellets.

ERIC: Let me see, let me see.

FELIM: It's all right. It's okay.

ERIC: Is there a medic or first aid?

ANNA: Oh, my God. Is there a doctor or

is everyone here in finance?

- FELIM:... it just stings a bit.
- (SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

GUEST : Maybe, somebody
load up the Rican app?

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Good evening, Harper.

No more commotion, please.

Superficial cuts from
a few stray pellets,

and the NHS still has you
waiting for four f*cking hours.

- But anyway.
- (CLATTERS)

Never give a g*n to an American.

f*ck, can I get you something?

Aye, drink-wise I will have
something brown and deep.

- A strong water.
- You got it.

Even my nerves feel a little frayed.

- "Harper Stern."
- (DRINK POURING)

"Face that launched
a thousand f*ck-ups."

I'm the one you're supposed
to be pitying please, madam.

Not that Pierpoint think

that your face is very memorable.

I noticed your picture,

was it in this morning's, uh, deck.

(DRINK POURING)

Yeah, a variant of that.

Happens so often, I've
become desensitized to it.

Can't say the I-bankers
over at Pierpoint

have covered themselves
in much glory today,

especially with all the hoopla
surrounding the pitch book.

Is this page ?

(SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES)

What was that about?

Did Eric not tell you?

Rican commissioned analysis

on how to fund the tele-med expansion

to low-income households in the US.

McKelvey said it hadn't been done.

No, he, um, elided the
truth to the other investors.

The analysis showed,

the only way to, uh, lower
the consumer price point

was to cut the dividend.

Which, of course, hurts the share price,

kills the value in
the short term, and...

frankly, makes it far less likely

to make me want to buy in.

- So, they suppressed it?
- Mm-hmm.

To privilege you, over
investors like Anna?

FELIM: You should all feel very lucky

I'm even at this f*cking sh**t at all.

Understand?

I am really sorry, again,
about your afternoon.

FELIM: Well, let's concentrate
on the bigger picture.

Because today, for some reason,
the universe has sent down

a wee f*cking goblin, to
misuse a firearm in my face.

So when he now sells to
me, which he f*cking will...

I'll look back on this...

as the afternoon that I almost d*ed.

But I still left with the
Devil's things in my pocket.

- Slàinte Mhath.
- (GLASSES CLINK)

Hi. Is Harper in? I've been trying her.

Uh, she's away.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Do you wanna come in?

Okay.

I don't know.

I don't even really know if it's right.

I know I want the fresh
start, new floor, new boss.

Thank you.

I just... (CLEARS THROAT)

I look at someone like Harper...

and she's just innately good at her job,

and people just take her seriously,

and I think, you know,
why can't I have that?

Is she good?

Or does she just always have
her foot on the accelerator?

You know, covet something.

Get it.

Covet something else. Maybe get that.

And then... die.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Needs must.

I mean, what does your
dad actually want from you?

To be perennially years
old. It's kind of f*cked up.

ROBERT: Yeah, well, give it to him then.

Doesn't have to be real
for him to think that it is.

YASMIN: Spoken like a true believer.

(CHUCKLES)

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- (PARAPHERNALIA CLATTERS)

(SNIFFLES)

(SNORTS, SNIFFLES)

Did you get through that tonight?

Not really.

(PARAPHERNALIA CLATTERS)

- (YASMIN CONTINUES SNORTING)
- (ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

(SLURPS)

(YASMIN GASPING, SIGHING)

Do you ever think...

if we'd have just f*cked...

we would have saved
ourselves a lot of...

Disappointment?

(CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES)

I don't really think I
would have debased myself

in quite the same way,
if I thought that...

I would have let you f*ck me?

Well, I hoped it would have
been a more mutual experience.

(CHUCKLES)

Nah, I mean...

if I thought that...

I was...

on your level.

You were very good at
making me feel like I wasn't.

And honestly, I would
have eaten broken glass

to have had my head
between your legs just once.

And eat my p*ssy?

Yeah.

That's what I would do.

(MUSIC ABRUPTLY STOPS)

(BOTH LAUGH)

Right. I'm going to bed.

Feel free to do whatever. (SIGHS)

You're an intoxicant, Yas.

Needs must.

("TAKE UR TIME" BY BARIL PLAYING)

- Night.
- ROBERT: Night.

♪ You can take your time ♪

♪ You can take your time ♪

♪ You can take your time ♪

Hey, Papa.

I, um, I wanted to apologize.

I overreacted, and...

I shouldn't have
disrespected you like that.

It's...

it's no way for a daughter
to speak to her father.

Um...

I've just realized that...

I've really missed you.

And...

I just want you to be proud of me.

Um...

So...

if you want to get dinner
or a drink and catch up,

and you're still in London, let me know.

Um, I've missed you.

I love you.

Let me know.

(SONG CONCLUDES)

LEO: Every single boy
in my year at Eton was...

told he should inherit the earth.

Tell a lot of average people
they deserve everything and...

Yeah, maybe it was the kind of people

you were hanging out with, because...

I never really heard anyone
speak like that there.

It was about merit.

Is it actually merit-based, though?

In this scenario, the
earth is basically Oxbridge.

Once you're there,
you're on a conveyor belt.

I can't take another three years of it.

Not around those people.

I won't.

You sound like you were lonely.

Hey, I was a big buyer
of the conveyor belt.

You know, three... (CHUCKLES)
... three years at Oxford.

Six years in banking or law

- then maybe politics.
- So what happened?

(CLATTERING, RUSTLING)

Look, could you... could you
fulfill your part of this obligation,

and write the f*cking thing?

(SCOFFS)

I'm guessing your parents had

high expectations for you too, yeah?

Yeah. Of course.

LEO: Then how the f*ck
did you end up in here,

tutoring a little slut like me?

Okay.

I'm better than waiting
two and a half f*cking hours

for you to finish a swim.

Was it only two-and-a-half?
It felt like .

- I was tripping.
- Brilliant!

Given who your dad is,

it's not a revolutionary
act to aim down.

In fact, it's pathetic you don't aim up.

(GLASS THUDS)

(DOOR CREAKING OPEN)

- (SIGHS)
- (DOOR SLAMMING SHUT)

(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(GLASS CLINKING)

- JESSE: Oh!
- (POURS DRINK)

AURORA ADEKUNLE: Aurora Adekunle.

- JESSE: Hi, Jesse Bloom.
- AURORA: Nice to meet you.

JESSE: Yeah. It's good to
put a face with the name.

- Yeah, after the, um...
- Yeah.

- ... activities today. (SIGHS)
- JESSE: Yeah.

AURORA: How are you finding it here?

-JESSE: Uh... little stuffy, fusty.
-(AURORA LAUGHING)

AURORA: I'd love to talk
to you about fundraising.

JESSE: Oh, yeah?

Well, "Lord Bloom"
does have a ring to it.

Ah, here comes the, uh, kid

who is forcing my son's
nose to the grindstone.

- (AURORA CHUCKLING)
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.

We were at the same college, at Oxford.

Oh! Good to know my
Wikipedia's accurate.

(ALL LAUGH)

JESSE: I must admit I Googled you

- when I was on the can.
- (AURORA LAUGHING)

It's cute to be known as
the "Tory with a conscience."

Uh, that's just a nice way of saying

I was treacherous, and lost the whip.

- Brexit was Brexit.
- AURORA: Mm-hmm. Fog of w*r.

Luckily, people have short memories.

Delicious and incestuous.
Like, uh, everything in England.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Excuse me, I'm keeping someone waiting.

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

One of your ex-colleagues
was talking to me about you.

Lucinda.

She said that you were brilliant,

but you got waylaid by
some corporate politics?

Pierpoint's a great steppingstone.

I can vouch. But, um...

lifers can die while they live in there,

if you follow.

Excuse me, if this
is incredibly forward,

but do you think I could pick your brain

about a potential next step?

You can have the time it takes
to sink another Laphroaig.

Neither of us have to pay, after all.

So, tell me. What draws you to politics?

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE)

- (DOOR OPENS)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

HARPER: You out here alone?

Certainly feels that way.

I saw Felim earlier.

He's taking it all surprisingly well.

Did you speak to Jesse?

We caught up with him briefly, yes.

He had the magnanimity to apologize.

And he has assured us he
has the magnanimity to sell.

So you spoke to my
client behind my back?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm gonna give you the opportunity

to be honest with me.

(CACKLES)

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?

What do you want me to say to that?

Maybe give me the salient information?

Is that f*cking crazy?

Because I am wandering
around in the dark.

I tell you what you need
to know to do your job.

How can we work together

if you can't be transparent with me?

You don't work with me. You work for me!

So you don't trust me?

Where is the evidence that I should?

This has been

one of my longest days in the business.

And the only reason you're here

is because Mr. Covid put in a call.

I wouldn't have had you within
a thousand miles of this place.

- Who were you out here with?
- Good night.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

Short term play is to sell to Felim now.

Cheap opportunity, tidy little profit.

JESSE: Perhaps sh**ting
our counterparty in the face

now makes that the
least egregious option.

I found this on top of one
of my son's reading lists.

This Hobbes fucker, man.

This could've been written yesterday.

The natural state of man.
"A w*r of all against all."

I mean, it was written
during the Civil w*r. So...

pretty dim view of humanity.

JESSE: Then why does it feel so true?

(PAPER RUSTLING)

McKelvey wants to sell Rican.

They would need to cut the dividend

to fund consumer price point cuts.

They've been kicking the can around

to maintain the dividend,
increase buybacks and...

most likely sell quickly.

Reading between the lines, I...

think that it's an acquisition target.

Again, strictly reading
between the lines...

I think they've already engaged
Pierpoint IBD to find buyers.

Okay. So what, we sit on the block,

let it rip and take profit?

No. That's Felim's play.

It's why he wants to buy from you.

It's why the board want him.

And it's why my boss
kept me in the dark.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

But I have a better idea.

Without the low-income expansion now,

Rican Healthcare will not get
regulatory approval in the UK.

How the f*ck do you know that?

I don't. It's an educated guess

after speaking with a member
of Her Majesty's government.

So, what's the play?

Don't sell. To Felim or anyone.

Buy.

Take FutureDawn's shares.

(SCOFFS)

I have no interest in
a controlling stake.

And I'm already long over three billion.

I'm not even sure I'm
a bull on this space.

Hear me out.

You only need nine percent to
give you a controlling stake.

Anna will sell you half of her equity

if you let her choose the board.

Cut the divvy. Fund expansion.

The price will drop in
the short term, but...

there is potential for this company

to be a market leader
in a genuine growth area.

How many companies
can you say that about?

It's a gamble, but if I'm
right, it's one hell of a long.

(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)

You know, it was inevitable

that Eric tried to
poach me on this trip.

Is that what you'd call that? Hobbesian?

Check me out!

Did you entertain that?

You got a pen?

I need to underline something.

This Hobbes is worth remembering.

Looks like a gift.

A memento.

Memento mori.

(CLATTERS)

- (UTENSILS CLATTERING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

FELIM: Eric, where is the wee prick?

Let's just get this done, shall we?

Yeah. Uh, one second.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Please leave a message.

Harpsichord, it's me.
Everyone's down here.

Uh...

we're nearly through this.

See you soon.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(PHONE RINGING)

Rishi, I need you to
cross a block for me.

Pre-open. million.

Harper, I'm hanging out my arse.

I've not even moisturized,
and pulled the top off it...

I need this to happen pre-the open.

Bloom is gonna buy half of
FutureDawn's stake in Rican.

Why would he do that? What's the angle?

Since when do you need
context? Execute the trade.

- Has Eric signed off on this?
- Sign off?

What f*cking "sign off"?

RISHI: You can't
pre-arrange a block sale.

I need the buyer and the seller.

I have that. I spoke to
Harry on Anna Gearing's desk

this morning at FutureDawn.
I have the order from Bloom.

He and Anna Gearing have
already agreed on a price.

She sells at , he pays a quarter.

All right. Well, then
get me a f*cking seller!

All trades go through
the execution desk, Rishi.

I have the order. We don't
say no to biz in hand.

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

One minute before European open.

(TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES)

Morning, James. How are your eggs?

Getting cold. Where is everybody?

It appears that, uh,
Jesse Bloom, of all people,

cares more about the
future of this company

than its custodians.

At market open, I'll have
sold half my equity to Jesse.

Giving him the controlling
interest of Rican.

Harry, Harper again.

I need an order that
instructs me to sell

sixteen million shares
of Rican Health at ...

- Where's my seller?
- Harry confirms.

FutureDawn sells at
. Bloom buys at . .

If we f*ck Felim twice on a block,

he will never trade with us again.

I'm doing my job. Do yours.

DVD: We answer to the man who pays.

She has a man who pays.

Execute.

Execute.

(TENSE MUSIC SWELLS)

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

Done, !

("THIS MUST BE THE PLACE"
BY TALKING HEADS PLAYING)

RISHI: Done, . !

Send the confirms.

You know, without results, Eric,

all we're really left
with is your character.

And what the f*ck is that even, really?

Nice knowing you for a time.

("THIS MUST BE THE PLACE"
BY TALKING HEADS CONTINUES)

♪ Home is where I want to be ♪

♪ Pick me up ♪
♪ And turn me 'round ♪

♪ I feel numb ♪

♪ Born with a weak heart ♪

♪ I guess I must be having fun ♪

♪ The less we say about it ♪
♪ The better ♪

♪ Make it up as we go along ♪

♪ Feet on the ground ♪
♪ Head in the sky ♪

♪ It's okay ♪
♪ I know nothing's wrong ♪

♪ Nothing ♪

♪ Oh! I got plenty of time ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ You got light in your eyes ♪

♪ And you're standing here ♪
♪ Beside me ♪

("THIS MUST BE THE PLACE"
BY TALKING HEADS CONCLUDES)