09x17 - The Second Time Around/Hello, Spencer/Runaway, Go Home

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ love exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love is
life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ welcome aboard ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard it's love ♪

♪♪

All right.
This is a class gig.

[ Imitates dog bark ]

Spencer Wilson,
appearing in the lounge.

Oh, really?

[ Imitates cat meowing ]

Spencer Wilson,
appearing nightly.

Love your hair.

Thanks.

Emily.

What are you do--
what a pleasant surprise.

Are -- are you, uh,
here to see someone off?

No.

I'm a passenger.

But you just finished
sailing with us.

I had such a wonderful time
on the last cruise

that I thought I'd just
stay on for another one,

you know, indulge myself.

Well,
I guess being your own boss

allows you to do things
like that.

Yes. I'm lucky.

My son is just busting a gut to
run my trucking business anyway.

I know the, uh, captain
will be happy.

He really enjoyed the time
you two spent together

on the last cruise.

Merrill is really
an interesting man.

I mean, not at all
what I expected.

I guess you really can't get
to know somebody, though,

in days.

You can't?

Maybe that's why my marriages
never lasted.

Excuse me.

Oh, I'm sorry.
May I help you?

Uh, me? No. Uh, I'm just
looking for my parents.

There they are.

Oh, here you are.

We're gonna have so much fun
on this cruise.

Oh, wait till you see
the shops.

Oh, and you're just gonna
love the pool.

Bye. Enjoy your trip.

Hey, Larry,

when are you gonna write
that new song for the album?

It's hard to write country songs

when you've never been
in prison.

Hi. I'm Larry.

Hi.

That's my brother Steve.

Steve.

Hi, Larry.

Brother Rudy.

Rudy.

I'm Isaac Washington.

How you doin'?

The gatlin brothers.

I'm your number one
seagoing fan.

We are looking forward
to your show.

Well, I hope you weren't
expecting anything new.

[ Clears throat ]

They're a little upset.

I'm havin' trouble finishin'
a new song for the album.

Oh, well, maybe you can get
some work done on the cruise.

Excuse me.
Isaac, the brochures.

Oh, um, Mary Beth, I'm sorry.
Here you go.

[ Whistles ]

Thank you.

Sheila.

Thanks.

Excuse me.

Looks like we all have our work
cut out for us.

[ Ship horn blows ]

♪♪

Well, what do you think?

I think professional baseball
players make too much money.

I mean the uniform.

I know what you mean, ace.

You look fine.

All right.

On you, a gunnysack
would look like a tuxedo.

Now go help Judy
with the passenger list.

All right. Uh...
[ Clears throat ] Right.

Well, what do you think?

Very sharp.

I feel like I'm on my way
to the army-Navy game.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello.

I'm looking for
the head honcho.

Uh, well,
I'm the assistant honcho.

I'm Judy McCoy,
the cruise director.

How may I help you?

I'm Spencer Wilson, and I hate
to start off by complaining,

but, uh, I've been looking
for my room,

and no one
seems to know where it is.

Oh, uh, Wilson, hmm.

You don't seem to be
on the passenger list.

Well, see, there you go.
I'm not a passenger.

I'm a performing artist.

Mr. Wilson,
I hire the entertainment.

I didn't hire you.

Who told you you had a job
on this ship, Mr. Wilson?

Yeah.

Tony miletti.

He's a big Hollywood agent.
He handles all the big stars.

And talk about luck,

I was in L.A. one day
and I met Mr. Miletti.

And he helped me get this job
and even helped me sell my car

so I could pay him
his commission in advance.

You paid him his commission
in advance?

Oh, sure.
Mr. Miletti said that

since I was gonna be on the ship
months breakin' in my act,

I should go on ahead
and pay him upfront.

Mr. Wilson,

i think you've been had.

Snookered.

Taken.

Swindled.

Robbed.

Oh.

I think I see
what you mean.

You don't have a job
on this ship.

I'm terribly sorry.

And since we've already sailed,
gotta charge you for the cabin.

Take over.

[ Clears throat ]

Uh, well...

Is it more than $ ?

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight.

You know, Emily, I'm flattered
you took another cruise.

I know how expensive
they are.

I'll tell the world.

And when you're in trucking,
they're very hard to write off.

[ Laughs ]

I just wanted to spend
some time with you, merrill.

Well, what are we gonna
do on a cruise?

Oh, it doesn't matter.
I just enjoy being with you.

Yeah, me, too.

You know,
I have the feeling that

you could make doing the laundry
interesting. [ Laughs ]

[ Chuckles ]
Well, I do have my system.

You know, one thing
we could do on this cruise

is just try to get
to know each other better.

I don't think there's
anything wrong with that.

Oh, no, no.
I mean, how --

how can we become friends
if we remain strangers?

Exactly. It's impossible.

Yeah.

You know what
we've gotta do is,

we have to define
our relationship.

Yeah, so that later on
there'll be no misunderstanding.

Right.

Emily?

Emily,
suppose we decide to...

Become more than
just friends.

Truckers have a saying --

"don't bounce till you get
to the bumps in the road."

Hmm.

Well...

Here's to
pleasant surprises

and smooth pavement.

Hey, Mr. Washington.

Hmm?

I really appreciate you helping
me work my way back to L.A.

Oh, no problem, Spence.

Listen, uh, gopher says
you don't have to do this.

So if you don't want to,
you know, uh...

No, no, no.
Wilsons always pay their way.

Besides, I am no freeloader.

So let's start slingin'
that booze.

Okay. Uh, have you ever
done this before?

Oh, sure. I've tended bar
all over the world.

Gopher said you'd never been
out of mobile.

Did I say all over the world?

Yeah.

I meant all over mobile.

Oh.

Well, I'm sure
you'll do fine.

Listen, uh,
I've gotta go someplace.

Why don't you watch the bar?

Don't touch anything, okay?

And I'll be right back.

Okay.

Yeah. Thanks a lot.

Sure.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two...

Yeah.

Hi. Club soda, please.

[ Imitates cork popping ]

[ Imitates John Wayne ]
So, tell me, pilgrim.

You new around here?

[ Imitates prospector ] I ain't
never seen him around here.

Smells kinda familiar.
Who are ya? [ Laughs ]

I beg your pardon?

[ Normal voice ] Actually,
I'm not a bartender.

Spencer Wilson,
performing artist.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Well, I guess it was
the bartender's uniform

and standing behind a bar
that threw me off.

[ Imitating prospector ]
Yeah, but I bet ya got

a real powerful thirst,
don't ya?

Not like...Oh!

He's goin' for his g*n.
Clint, do somethin'!

[ Imitates Clint Eastwood
as Harry Callahan ] Yeah.

[ Imitates shotgun cocking ]

Go ahead, make my dinner.

[ Hums "the good, the bad,
and the ugly" ]

Don't go away mad.

[ Imitates prospector ] Hey,

got rid of that stranger
pretty good. [ Laughs ]

You want your drink, stranger?
Here you go.

[ Makes zoom noise ]

[ Cup clatters ]

[ Normal voice ] Uh, like I
said, I'm not a real bartender.

Uh, let me get something.

It's okay! It's okay!

I'll get something
from the machine downstairs.

Hmm!

♪♪

Easy as she goes.

We don't want
any quick turns.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, merrill, I envy you.

You get to say
all those swell things like,

"batten down the hatches,
Matey.

"Hoist the jib.

Splice the main brace."
[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

What'd I say there?

I think that last one
is a medical term.

Excuse me?

Mm-hmm.

Sir?

[ Whispers ] Excuse me.

Uh, Mr. Roberts.

Thank you. Thank you.

I think I'm keeping you
from your work.

Oh. No, no, no, no, no.

Just have to check
on some things.

And I'm a distraction.

Oh, lookit.
This turned out good.

Oh. [ Chuckles ] Yeah.

And I'm probably
an irritation.

You should say
what you think, merrill.

Oh, well, I didn't mean
we couldn't talk.

See? We're doing
exactly what we should

to find out about
each other.

All those little things
that annoy us.

Yeah.

Well, I'll leave you
to your work.

Oh, boy.

Now you've made me
feel guilty.

See? See how much we're learning
about each other.

There's no reason for you
to feel guilty.

I wouldn't wanna be distracted
if I was driving an -Wheeler.

Emily.

Uh...i have an idea.

[ Whispering ] Uh, look,
uh, why don't we have

dinner my my cabin?

I'll cook.

We can talk...Alone.

[ Whispers ]
That's a wonderful idea.

I'll meet you at .

Pretty good, huh?

Emily,
that's tomorrow morning.

I'll see you at :
tonight.

What is that in Navy talk?

hours.

That's very confusing.

I'll meet you at :
tonight.

Bye, Mr. Robert.

Good afternoon, ma'am.

[ Door closes ]

♪♪

Gopher: You know, I can't find
my master keys anywhere.

Have you got 'em?

Am I supposed to have 'em?

You -- you -- you told me
never to touch 'em.

Relax.
I am not blaming you.

I'm just saying that
somebody out there has

a set of master keys that'll
open up any door on this ship.

Glad it's not my fault.

[ Imitating south Asian accent ]
Begging your pardon

very, very much. But is
everything all right here?

Thank you very much.
Yes, no, no.

Spencer, I thought
you were tending bar.

It didn't work out.
I told him he could work here.

I did not tell him
he could have an accent.

[ Normal voice ] Well, all
the other waiters have accents.

So I thought if I should
be waiter, I should fit in.

Gopher: Spencer,
all the other waiters

have accents
from their own countries.

Now why don't you just
speak like

Spencer Wilson from
mobile, Alabama, all right?

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

It's fashionable.

You know, they will allow you
to come back for seconds.

Oh, I don't have time.

My mom's not feeling well,

and I'm gonna take her some food
back to the cabin.

She hates dirty dishes.

I wonder where
the captain is.

Oh, he's having dinner
in his cabin

with Mrs. Haywood tonight.

Dining alone? How romantic.

Sounds like it's getting
pretty serious to me.

It's nothing like that.

My father's just trying
to be a good host.

Mm-hmm.

Ah.

You know, the captain's
acting pretty strange

since he met Ms. Haywood.

Spending an awful lot of time
in the barbershop,

and there's not that much
to do there.

My father has always taken pride
in his appearance, gopher.

Hmm.

I heard him humming
"you light up my life."

Come to think of it,

I saw him writing poetry
on a napkin.

You know, you guys are terrible.

Don't you have
anything better to do

than to sit around and gossip?

No.

Not really.

I saw him skipping
in the passageway.

Drew a happy face
on the radar screen.

Oh, he's done that before.

Oh, that's right.

He's buying
some stuffed animals.

[ Speaks indistinctly ]

Mm-hmm.

Now, the secret to great cooking
is precision.

A pinch of this,

a touch of that,

a smidgen of this.

Oh, silly ole me,
I always use measuring spoons.

Now a little
tarragon butter.

Does the crew like
your cooking?

They have to.
I'm the captain.

And you have somebody
to cook for.

I hate
cooking just for myself.

So do I.

I, uh, I like sharing things
with someone.

I didn't realize
how much I missed that

till lately.

Me neither.

[ Bell dings ]

What is that?

Vegetable's done.

Vegetables...
I'm not hungry.

Me neither.

Forget 'em.

Forget 'em.

They're burning.

They're burning.

♪♪

[ Woman screams ]

Excuse me.

Nice tan, ma'am.

Larry: That's all right.
The room's already been made up.

All right, well, then I'll just,
uh, fold down the bed

and leave a chocolate, sir.

Okay.

Um, how long
will you be gone?

Uh, we're gonna go do
our show.

Uh...I'll be gone
a couple hours.

Oh, good.
That'll give me enough time.

Uh, i-I'm a perfectionist
and --

and I like to have
the chocolate

precisely in the center
of the pillow.

Come on, Larry.
We're gonna be late.

♪♪

Mermaids:
♪ strut, pout, put it out ♪

♪ that's what you want
from women ♪

♪ come on, baby,
whatcha taking me for? ♪

♪ Strut, pout, cut it out ♪

♪ all taking and no giving ♪

♪ watch me, baby,
while I walk out your door ♪

♪ I won't be your baby doll ♪

♪ be your baby doll ♪

♪ I won't be your baby doll ♪

♪ be your baby doll ♪

So I found Spencer a job
he can't possibly foul up.

B- .

This game is comin' alive!

Hey, listen up...

H- .

Wait, lock my doors.

This is a piece
from a scrabble game.

Reading numbers,
he oughta be able to do that.

Hi, Spence.

Hi.

You know, I don't think
I've ever seen this many people

turn out for
a night bingo game before.

Oh, man,
I had to turn people away.

Who wouldn't pay $
for a bingo card

if they had a chance to win
a brand-new car?

O- .

Wait a minute. New car?

Spencer,
what are you talking about?

First prize.

I- .

Spencer, first prize is $ .

G- .

But I asked around,

and they said last cruise
you gave away a new car.

Last cruise was a convention
of auto manufacturers.

Hey, no problem.
Nobody's won yet.

Bingo! Bingo! I've got it!
I won! I won! I won!

[ High-pitched voice ]
Yay! Hooray!

[ Woman squealing ]

♪♪

Ahem.

You're not supposed to be back
for another hour.

You're not supposed
to be here at all.

Who are you?

Uh, the maid.

You don't look like
the maid.

You're that
strange little girl

that keeps puttin' food
in her purse.

Yeah, well,
I always wanted to be a waiter.

You act more like
a groupie.

Yeah, well, yeah,
that's what I am.

I'm crazy about...
Everything about you.

Your music, your clothes,

your cabin.

I mean, wow!

I just slept on
what's-his-name's bed.

Well, got to go.

You're a stowaway, aren't ya?
What's your name?

Anny. No, Alice.

Look, I'm not a stowaway.

I'm running away from home.

I'm going down to Mexico
to get a job

and start living
my own life.

Okay with you?

I think we need to talk
to the captain about this.

Come on.

Oh, no, no, no.

Please, no.

You don't know my parents.

They grounded me
for a month.

That is
one-twelfth of a year.

I'm sure they had
a good reason.

I took the car
without permission. Big deal.

That's all?

All right,
there was this little wreck.

They have insurance.

Look, I'll get out
of your way

and you can forget
you've ever seen me.

I have a better idea.

I won't go to the captain
if you'll call your parents

and tell them where you are.

Okay. Okay.

I'll call them tomorrow.

It's too late tonight.

Okay.

You can sleep here
tonight.

And I'll go bunk in
with my brother.

I've gotta song to write
anyway.

Thank you.

♪♪

Merrill, do you know
what I love?

Foggy mornings...

On mountain lakes.

And rooting for
the underdog.

I loved "rocky" I.

And ii.

And III.

I can't wait to see iv.

[ Laughs ]

It's funny, sometimes I think
I know what you're thinking.

Really?

What am I thinking now?

Right now, you're thinking,

"this cruise is even better
than the one before."

How did you know that?

Because that's what
I'm thinking.

And we think the same way.
We like the same things.

Oh, we certainly do.

We have so much in common.

Yes.

There's just one thing...

[ Whispering ]
When I get close to you,

my palms start sweating.

Mine, too.

Is your stomach all butterflies?

Yes.

And I-I can't concentrate.

My mind keeps wandering.

[ Whispers ] Oh, merrill.

Either we're getting the flu

or we're falling in love.

The flu never felt
this good.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

[ Knock on door ]

Good morning, kiddo.

Thought you might like
a little food

that doesn't taste like
the inside of your purse.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Finish your song?

Nah, not yet.

Maybe I can help.

I'm good with rhymes.

Well, I'm really not
at the rhyme stage yet.

I'm...sorta at
the concept stage.

Oh, you got nothing, right?

You're supposed to call
your parents this morning.

I will, I will.

Hey, I know they must
really be worried.

I'll call. I'll call.

I'm gonna go get
a cup of coffee.

Maybe I can find a couple
of words that rhyme.

[ Door opens ]

[ Imitates siren wail ]

[ High-pitched voice ]
Mr. Gopher.

Spencer, I'm tired.

And I'm irritable.

I was up until :
this morning

trying to explain
to Mrs. Zeigler

why she did not really win
a new car.

I'm real sorry about that.

I just want you to know I won't
be bothering you anymore.

As soon as we get
to Puerta vallarta,

I'm going to get off
and walk home.

Spencer, we're not gonna
throw you off the ship

in Puerta vallarta.

We're gonna take you back
to Los Angeles,

and then we're gonna
throw you off the ship.

I can't just let you guys
give me this cruise

without me doing something
to pay you guys back.

It's the way I was raised.

I've got to earn my way.

Uh, don't look at me.

I got all the help
I can use.

All right, Spencer.

Look, honestly, I have a gift
for making people happy.

I find that
hard to believe.

Well, if you just give me
minutes in the lounge show,

I guarantee ya, I'll make
those people have a good time.

Spencer, will you
do yourself a favor?

Just go sit down
somewhere,

relax, and enjoy the rest
of the cruise.

All right? It's on us.

You don't owe us a thing.

[ High-pitched voice ]
Hmm.

[ Knock on door ]

Oh, hi, Emily.

Hi, doc. Are you busy?

No, not at the moment.
Come on in.

Okay.

Yeah, how are you and, uh,
the captain getting on?

Oh...

Excuse me.

Just wonderfully.

Okay.

In fact, that's what I came
to talk to you about.

You probably know him better
than anybody else.

Oh, if you're asking my opinion
of merrill, he's a fine man.

He enjoys being captain,
doesn't he?

He thrives on it.

I can't imagine him doing
anything else.

Oh, neither can I.
He'd be miserable living ashore.

Well, why would he want
to live...

Oh, unless you two...

Oh, now that
you mention it,

he -- he did say once
he'd like to live in, uh...

Where is it you're from?

Fresno.

That's the place.

He said that?

Well, not Fresno exactly.

But he did say that
he would like to live on land?

He...

Not in so many words.

Well, doc,
just what did he say?

He said that living on land
made him appreciate the sea.

Oh.

Yeah.

Would you do me a favor,
doc?

Let's not tell merrill
about this little talk.

Oh, I was just about
to ask you the same favor.

Have you called
your parents?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Um, everything's cool.

That's not what your parents
told me.

You called my parents?

Yeah.

I found the number in your purse
just covered with chicken salad.

You ratted on me.
You told them where I was.

Come on, anny,
I didn't rat on ya.

I just called 'em to tell 'em
you were safe and well.

Your parents are really
very upset about what happened.

Oh, yeah.
I'm sure they are.

You had no right
to interfere in my life.

I was just tryin' to help.

Yeah, well,
I don't need your help.

When we dock a Puerta vallarta,
I'm getting off.

So why don't you just butt out
and get out of my life?

[ Inhales deeply ]

Mmm!
Smell that sea air, Adam.

There's no better life for a man
than being on the sea.

Of course,
I don't know about women.

Uh, do you think a woman might
be happy living onboard a ship?

I guess that would depend
on the woman.

Uh, what about Emily?

Uh, do you think Emily might be
happy living onboard a ship?

Well, what do you think?

Well, uh, if Emily
was living onboard a ship,

she'd be separated
from her family in Fresno.

That's right.

Yeah, but she could visit
them periodically.

Fresno's not that far away.

Uh, but she couldn't run

her trucking business
from this ship.

You know, she'd have to
give up her career.

That's right.
That's a lot to ask.

Adam, would you stop
agreeing with me?

Anything you say, merrill.

Adam, don't let Emily know
we had this little talk, hmm?

You can count on me.

Everyone else has.

[ Rotary dial whirring ]

Kino-sama...
Hey, hey, hey.

Konnichiwa.

[ Imitating Asian accent ]
Hello, purser Smith.

My name is yoko arokomoto.

I am a wealthy Sushi bar owner
from Osaka.

Would like to book entire ship
for a cruise.

Hai, hai, hai.

I knew you'd be very excited.

One stipulation, please --
would like

young performing artist
Spencer Wilson

do his act tonight
in the lounge,

real a-funny guy.

[ Laughs ]

Laugh riot.

I'm outta here.

Sayonara.

♪♪

Welcome to
beautiful Puerta vallarta.

We hope you enjoy your day.

There is shopping
and fantastic water sports

available for your pleasure.

♪♪

Uh, gopher, if I'm gonna be
the assistant purser,

is there anything different I
should do at the staff meetings?

No, just do what
you've always done --

be quiet and pretend
to take notes.

Right.

Hello, everyone.

Hello, sir.

Oh, Judy,
I've had requests all day

for this famous comedian onboard
to perform in the lounge.

One Japanese man wants
to reserve the entire cruise.

Is there anything
you can do about that?

Are you talkin'
about Spencer Wilson, sir?

Yes, I believe that's his name.

Sir, Spencer Wilson
is not exactly famous.

And that was probably him
on the phone.

You mean he's Japanese?

Not even close.

Uh, sir, he does accents,
noises, sound effects.

He's, um, performing artist.

Well, he's good.
Why don't we have him perform?

Well, uh...

You take care of it.

I've got enough on my mind

without worrying about
some entertainer.

Yes, sir.

That's it?
Meeting's over?

You heard the man.
He's got a lot on his mind.

Judy.

Yes?

Why don't you call Mr. Locomoto
and see if he's available?

[ Door opens and closes ]

Don't try
to talk me out of it.

You cannot change my mind.

Hey, I'm not gonna try.

If you're this determined,

your home life
must really be awful.

Oh, take my word for it.
It is.

I guess they b*at ya.

No, that's one thing
they don't do.

Could you give me that,
please?

They starve ya?

Overwork ya?

They lock you
in the cellar.

No. Could you give me...

Then what?

They don't like your taste
in clothes or music?

They don't understand ya?

[ Singsongy ] They treat ya
like a baby?

Yeah.
Yeah, how'd you know?

Because that's the same way
my kids say I treat them.

What are you guys, all part
of the same union or something?

No, I'm just a man
who loves his kids

and tries to do
the best he can.

I'm sure your parents
are the same way.

Oh, give me a break.

Hi, anny.
Goin' somewhere?

Are you gonna lock me
in this cabin?

Just until we sail.

Make yourself at home,
little lady.

I'll return these for ya.

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Oh, merrill, you're early.

We weren't gonna go to lunch
till oh- , hours.

[ Laughs ]

Emily...

Mm-hmm.

Emily...

[ Chuckles ]

Uh, look, why --
why don't ya sit down?

There's -- there's something
I wanna say.

Emily...

[ Breathes deeply ]

Emily...

I love you.

And I want you to
marry me.

Oh, merrill.

I would be very happy

to be Mrs. Merrill stubing.

Mrs. Emily stubing.
Mrs. Emily Haywood-stubing.

[ Laughs ]

Oh!

Whatever the name is,
I just want you to be my wife.

Oh, my husband.

[ Sighs contently ]

My husband.

[ Sniffles ] Oh.

This is wonderful.
[ Sniffles ] Wonderful.

Mm-hmm.

Oh! Listen, we've got --

we've got to plan
the wedding.

And I -- oh, I've gotta put
my house up for sale.

And I'm gonna arrange for my son
to take over the business.

Well, no,
you don't have to do that.

And, uh...

Uh, I'm --

I'm giving up my command.

We're gonna live in Fresno.

Oh, no, merrill.

I'm giving up
the trucking business.

Well, I can't let you do that.
It means too much to ya.

Oh, but I know how much
this ship means to you.

Oh, you mean more to me
than this ship. Oh!

And you mean more to me
than a bunch of old trucks.

Oh, my mind is made up,
Emily.

I can't let you sacrifice
your career

and your family for me.

I have just as much right
to make a sacrifice as you.

Trust me, Emily.

I know I'm right.

That's it?

You're "right"?
End of discussion?

Well,
after all, I am the...

What were you gonna say?

You're the man.

[ Gasps ] You're
the captain.

Yes, I am.

And that makes you right?

Well, I may not always
be right,

but I am always...
The captain.

Well, captain,

I never knew
you could be so stubborn.

Oh, you are showing me
a side of you

that I have never seen
before.

And to tell you the truth,

I don't like it!

[ Door slams ]

My cabin. You're the one
who's supposed to leave.

Yes, ma'am.

♪♪

We are now leaving
Puerta vallarta.

Our next stop will be
San Pedro, California.

Okay, you can go now.

We were just tryin' to help.

Yeah, no hard feelings.

Anny: Thanks for nothing!

♪ She's so young ♪

♪ she's... ♪

♪ She's ♪

♪ she's ♪

Yeah.

♪ She's ♪

♪ blue-eyed beauty queen ♪

♪ and, oh, what
her two blue eyes have seen ♪

♪ since she left her home ♪

♪ in Minnesota ♪

♪ she's pale and lean ♪

♪ there's a big, fat man
in her limousine ♪

♪ and she's got to go down
to him now ♪

♪ got to make her quota ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ it's the people you're runnin'
with now are you friends ♪

♪ tell me,
why do you feel so alone? ♪

♪ Wouldn't you just love
to talk to your mama? ♪

♪ For god's sake, honey,
run to the phone ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ if the people you're runnin'
with now are you friends ♪

♪ tell me,
why do you feel so alone? ♪

♪ Wouldn't you just love
to talk to your mama? ♪

♪ For god's sake, honey,
run to the phone ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

♪ runaway, go home ♪

Runaway, go home

[ applause ]

♪♪

Dad?

Vicki.

I thought you'd be watching
the show with Mrs. Haywood.

No, there's been
a change of plans.

Dad...

You have to know,

there are rumors
that something's going on

between the two of you.

Oh, you know
how people talk.

Well, they're true.

But I thought you two
were just good friends.

We were more
than just good friends.

"Were"?

We had a serious argument.

I don't know if we'll ever
get back together.

I'm sorry.

Well, we still have
each other.

I love you.

I love you.

[ Chuckles ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a special treat
to close our show tonight --

a new performing artist,
Spencer Wilson.

[ Applause ]

♪♪

Music has changed so much
over the years.

When I was a kid,

growin' up, you couldn't even
understand the lyrics.

[ Imitating wolfman Jack ]
Wolfman Jack, baby!

Hey, baby,
we got rock 'n roll.

We got everything
for ya, baby, baby.

That's right.
You know what?

Let's talk rock.

Let's talk led zeppelin.

You know, Robert plant
got a great idea

for a brand-new song.

And he did it by slammin'
his car door on his hand.

[ Imitating intro vocals
of "immigrant song" ]

[ Imitating electric guitar
playing rock music ]

[ Imitating
Robert plant wailing ]

[ Imitating electric guitar
playing rock music ]

[ Imitating
Robert plant wailing ]

[ Imitating electric guitar
playing rock music ]

[ Normal voice ] Now...

[ Laughter and cheers ]

I guess, uh, tomorrow
you'll be takin' off.

Yeah.

Well...

I hope you do real good in L.A.
or wherever you settle down.

And, uh, if we're ever
singin' in your town,

why don't you drop by backstage
and say hello?

I might just do that.

You ever play yucaipa?

Is that where you're goin'?
Yucaipa?

Yeah. That's where
my parents live.

What the heck?
My clothes are there.

What made you change your mind
about goin' home?

Nothing.

By the way,
I liked your song.

Thanks.

Maybe you can get Madonna
to sing it.

[ Applause ]

[ Imitating wolfman Jack ]
I got the loudest,

meanest, punk rockiest
heavy metal band there is.

Would you please welcome
maxell and the head cleaners?

Hello.

[ Shouts indistinctly ]

We're gonna do song
about my hair

and chemicals called "ddt."

One, two,
one, two, three, four!

[ Imitating electric guitar
playing punk rock chords ]

[ Shouts indistinctly ]

[ Imitating electric guitar
playing punk rock chords ]

[ Shouts indistinctly ]

[ Imitating electric guitar
playing punk rock chords ]

[ Shouts indistinctly ]

Whoo!

[ Feedback whines ]

[ Imitating electric guitar
playing punk rock chords ]

Whoo!

[ Feedback whines ]

[ Applause ]

♪♪

Wonderful! Wonderful!
Thank you!

Hey, Spence, congratulations.
You were fantastic.

Hey, man, I really loved
that heavy metal stuff.

That was very hip, man.

Thanks, Mr. Washington.

I'm sorry we ever doubted you,
Spence.

It's okay.

Spencer, you were incredible.

Didn't I tell you he was good?

Yes, sir.

I have an idea.

Let's make Spencer
assistant cruise director.

Hey!

That way he could help Judy
and still entertain.

Hey! All right.

Thank you!

Assistant cruise director.

I guess I'll see you
at the staff meetings.

Is that true?

I really have
a regular job here now?

Uh, well, Spencer, uh,

I think that with
a little extra training

you might, um...Get by.

Ms. McCoy, he's all yours.

Well...great.

What do you say we talk about
my billing, huh?

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

Uh...
I'm glad you're here.

Look, I want to apologize.

No, it was my fault.
I shouldn't have lost my temper.

Oh, no,
I was being stubborn.

You were being considerate.

No, I was being pigheaded.

Merrill,
we're doing it again.

Oh, you're right. [ Chuckles ]
We have the strangest arguments.

But look,
the important thing

is that we know
that we love each other.

Oh.

[ Chuckles ]

See, that's the hard part.

The rest'll be easy.

Now, we could settle

the way I settled
my last strike.

What do you mean?

What are you doing?

Cut the cards to see
if we live in Fresno

or on the ship.

Wait a minute.

We're gonna cut cards
to decide the rest of our lives?

Well, I'll go first.

An ace. I win.

I'll give up my job,
and we'll live on the ship.

Wasn't that easy?

May I see those cards, please?

Oh, don't be a poor loser,
merrill.

I'd like to hold
those cards.

Merrill, the foundation
for a happy marriage

is mutual trust.

Emily.

[ Sighs heavily ]

Is this the way
you settled your last strike?

Saved a lot
of head busting.

I'm surprised at you,
Emily.

I used a real deck
that time, believe me.

I just wanted to save
a lot of arguing.

My son is ready
to take over the business.

This is his chance.

This is even right for you.

Can you honestly say you'd
be happy away from the sea?

Well, I wanted us to buy
a beach house.

There aren't any beaches
in Fresno.

How about it, merrill?

Will you marry me?

Wait a minute.
I asked you first.

Does it really matter?

No. Oh!

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Both laughing ]

Oh! This is just
like playing house.

Yeah, I think so.

Six? This enough? No?

Yeah, I think that'll be
all right.

Dad?

Uh...

What is it?
Hey, what's going on?

Well, I've invited the rest
to join us.

Uh...

But, uh, we wanted you
to be the first to know.

Know what?

Emily and I have decided
to get married.

Married?

We're gonna be a family.

Oh, you won't have
to call me mom

if it'll make you feel
uncomfortable.

But I want us to be close.

Oh, my girls. Mwah!

Isn't it great?

You wanted to see us, sir?

What is it, merrill?

Oh, champagne!

Ooh.

Oh.

Hey, what are we celebrating?

I don't know.

Whatever it is, it must be big
because this is the good stuff.

Everyone...

Emily and I have decided
to get married.

What?

Oh!

You're kidding!

Congratulations!

Oh, wow!

Merrill:
Champagne for everyone!

Except me, of course.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪♪