09x20 - Gothic Romance/Whatever Happened to Crazy Joe Flash?/We'll Meet Again

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music]

Theme song: Love,
love's exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love-- love is
life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It flows back to you.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love, love
won't hurt anyone.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Thank you.

Have I missed them?

No, they haven't boarded yet.

Well, I got them
something special for

their th anniversary cruise.

[Laughs] Janice, Myles.

Captain.

Oh, how nice to meet you.

How you doin'?

Hi, Myles.
How nice to see you.

Hi, Myles.

Doc and Isaac.

Good to see you.

Congratulations
on happy years.

We all want to know your
secret, especially doc.

Simple.

Every year, we take the same
cruise in the same cabin

with the same person.

Amazing how it
keeps you together.

Janice: Oh, Isaac,
could you please

send some caviar to go with
the champagne up to cabin--

promenade .

Right.

Oh, by the way, we
brought back the towels.

[Laughter]

Janice, let's put this to bed.

Yes, thank you.

years of happy marriage.

I'd have to marry or
women to get that.

Captain, there he is--

crazy Joe flash.

Ladies, please stop.

Mr. Flash has had
a long trip, and we

are blocking an entryway, so
if you could just move along.

Yes, that's right.

Nice goodbye.

The man is a legend.

Crazy Joe flash--

what is he, a track star?

No.

He's a rock star.

He does this
fantastic thing where

he slides across the
stage on his knees

and plays this incredible
riff on the guitar.

Like Jim brown.

No, James brown.

James.

Excuse me.

Ladies, I shall have to escort
you all to your cabin now.

[Inaudible]

Crazy Joe?

You probably don't
remember me, but I

played in the band that opened
for you called California

playboys back in the ' s.
- Hi.

Isaac Washington.

Isaac, yeah, sure, sure.

I remember you great.

You do?

Well, I tell you,
not really, Isaac.

I don't remember much of what
happened between ' and ' .

Wow, dr*gs.

Whoa, no way.

Bad words.

Here they've got
everything you need.

We've got legal
pads, pens, pencils.

Did you pack any inspiration?

That's all I seem to be missing.

Good evening.

Hi.

I'm Henry Gordon, and
this is Katherine wilde.

Judy: Oh, this is
a real thrill, ace.

Miss wilde is the
romance novelist

I was telling you about.

Oh, of course.
Right.

I've seen your books
at the checkout counter

at the supermarket.

Yes, you can always
find me between the gum

and the razor blades.

Yeah.

Could we just get
our cabin assignments?

Katherine's got a
lot of work to do.

We have a deadline to meet.

Behind every successful
writer is a pushy editor.

Of course.
Let's see.

Of course.

Um, aloha and .

I'll show you the way.

Crazy Joe, you've been
going strong for years.

That's amazing.

Most rock stars
never last that long.

Well, when you're the
only one in the act,

it's kind of hard to break up.

Sometimes I wish I
could, I'll tell you.

Mr. Flash, crazy Joe?

I'm Joyce Anderson.

I have never done
this before, but i'm

a very big fan of yours.

And I thought maybe we could
have a drink later or sometime.

Ah.

Excuse me, ma'am.

But he hasn't even
gone to his cabin yet.

Oh.

Oh, of course.

I'm sorry.

I don't mean to intrude.

Thanks, Isaac.

Oh, that's all
right, crazy Joe.

Man, you really have to
b*at them off with a stick.

Yeah, but I'll
tell you something.

If I wasn't a celebrity, she
wouldn't give me a second look.

Ah, but you are, and there's
nothing you can do about it.

Isaac, there's
where you're wrong.

Maybe I can be
herb hanson again.

Herb hanson?

Well, you don't think my
real name is crazy Joe flash,

do you?

I don't know.

I remember when this guy
back in Oakland once.

His name was bad Leroy.

Bad Leroy?

Well, of course, he
was named after his mom.

[Inaudible].

[Horn blowing]

[Fireworks]

Well, hello, again.

Oh, hi.

You know, I found one of
your books in the gift shop.

Uh, you think
something like this

would appeal to a guy like me?

"Passion in Pompeii?"

Yeah.

Well, there are a
couple of volcano scenes

that are fairly gritty.

Great.

You know, there's something I've
always wanted to ask a writer.

Hm?

Where do you get an
idea for a book like this?

Lately, I've been asking
myself the same question.

Usually, ideas come
from the people I meet.

[Music playing]

Then allow me to
introduce myself properly.

I am Lance youngblood, late of
nantucket and bound for calais.

Pleased to make
your acquaintance.

The sea can be a treacherous
place for a young woman

traveling alone.

Henry: The young
lady has an escort.

This is my traveling
companion, Henri lafete.

He's escorting me to France.

Henry: So you can see all her
needs are well taken care of.

Perhaps our paths
will cross again.

Now if you don't mind, ace,
Katherine has a book to write.

Uh, oh.

Right.

I've got one to read.

I'll see you around.
- Ok.

Bye bye.

I'm sorry, Katherine.

I don't mean to pressure you.

It's just that the
publishing house

gets a little nervous when
its star writer hasn't

turned in a page in six months.

Lance youngblood?

I like that.

Yeah.

So do I.

[Music playing]

Male announcer: Good
morning, passengers.

We are now serving our
delicious breakfast

buffet on the starlight deck.

Here we go--

breakfast in bed.

Oh.

I hope you're feeling better.

Oh, I'm so sorry
about last night.

I really must have been tired
to just fall asleep like that.

Oh, maybe we can make up
for lost time this morning.

Oh, come on now.

Fill me in.

We didn't get much chance
to talk last night.

Is, um, hope still
selling real estate?

Yeah, she's doing fine.

She was the top
broker for August.

Oh.

How's Joe?

Oh, he's fine.

Yes.

He's still the same old Joe.

And how are the kids?

How are joanie and Richie?

They're doing great.

Oh, Myles, please.

You know how I am whenever
we get back together.

You know, you'd
think after years,

you'd get over
feeling so nervous.

I can't help it.

I mean Joe's away on his
annual fishing trip, isn't he?

Sure, but it still takes me
a while to make the adjustment.

Oh.

In that case, I'll
put on a robe, too.

Well, don't you
ever think about hope?

Yeah, but she's hundreds of
miles away in a health spa,

and I don't want to waste
a moment we have together.

Well, neither do I, but it's--

Janice, we talk
about this every year.

We love each other, and we
don't want to hurt our families

by divorcing our spouses.

No, that's right.

I don't know any other
way we can be together.

You're right, but
it's just that I

guess I'm a little tense.

I--

I think I know something
that will calm you down.

What?

Mon Cher.

Well, how about this?

We meet again.

Small ship, isn't it?

Yeah.

You know, I've already read the
first chapters of "passion

in Pompeii."

It's pretty steamy
stuff, and I haven't

even gotten to the volcano yet.

What can I say?

Steam sells.

Ace, excuse me.

You promised you'd take
pictures of the bingo winners.

Right, captain.

I'll be there in a minute.

Uh, you know, I don't want
to overstep my bounds here,

but, uh--

but what?

[Music playing]

What, precisely, is your
relationship with Henri lafete?

He's been my guardian
and mentor ever since I

was orphaned as a young girl.

I've never wanted for anything.

I owe him my life.

I can see in your
eyes this debt.

It's a burden.

I understand.

I, too, carry a
burden of great debt.

You were orphaned, too?

Oh, but I were.

My drunkard of a father
settled a gambling debt

by promising that I
would marry the daughter

of captain sabatini.

The captain of this vessel?

I, a rum running blackguard,
if the truth be known.

I am honor bound
to marry Victoria

sabatini, a fine
person, perhaps, but one

for whom I have no passion.

There he is, father.

Dallying on the
deck, Mr. Youngblood?

Need I remind you it is
your turn at the watch.

No one rides free on
the bawdy Princess.

Aye, aye, sir.

I trust you shall be
joining me at dinner alone?

The cook is preparing
mutton and sweetbreads.

Daughter.

Daddy.

Captain.

Lance?

I am afraid I must be going.

Please do be careful.

Don't worry.

It's been a long time since
I ruined a roll of film.

[Music playing]

Crazy Joe flash: Whew!

[Scream singing] My moon
[Inaudible] comes around.

She comes around when
the sun goes down.

So long, flash.

Hello, herb.

[Music playing]

Excuse me, have you
seen Joe flash around?

No, I haven't, sir.

Yes, you have.

It's me.

I'm him.

Crazy Joe?

Call me herb, would you?

You would not believe it.

I have been walking
around this ship all day.

Nobody's even recognized me.

It's great.

Yeah, you look
almost, uh, ordinary.

Thanks, I guess.

Do me a favor, would you?

If anybody asks where
crazy Joe flash is,

just tell them he's hiding
out in his cabin, ok?

Will do.

Crazy Joe flash: Now
what is the first thing

an almost ordinary guy
does when he's in a bar?

Tips the bartender.

Aha.

What's the second thing?

Tries to pick up girls, right?

Let's see if herbie
can get a date.

Wish me luck.

Isaac: Crazy Joe?

She ordered this.

Herb.

Oh, thank you.

I see we have similar tastes.

Oh.

What might that be?

We hate to drink alone.

Oh, thank you.

[Laughs] Hi, I'm herb hanson.

Oh, Joyce Anderson.

Wow.

Now that we know each other, we
may as well get married, huh?

Bad idea.

Bad idea.

I think we should at
least have dinner first.

Good.

I hate getting married
on an empty stomach.

Would you mind?

I have just a few quarters left.

I'm doing ok.

[Music playing]

Look, Janice, we've
only been together days

in the past years, but I know
when something's bothering you.

Well, things are
different this year.

What do you mean "different?"

I told you Joe
got that promotion.

Uh-huh.

Well, he also
got a secretary who

loved her work and her boss.

So Joe and I are
getting a divorce.

You mean Joe's
been cheating on you?

Our Joe?

Henry, I know if
it wasn't for you,

I'd still be writing articles
for the "teen tattler."

But you've got to let
me work at my own speed.

Well, I don't know
how you get anything

done with that
photographer hounding you.

Look, I promise you I will
have an idea for the book

before we dock in San Pedro, ok?

Ok.

Uh, excuse me.

Chapter -- I can't
believe Isabella

would leave Luigi's child
under the olive tree

outside the city.

Come volcano time,
it'll all catch up to her.

Yeah?

Would you like to join us?

Henry: Katherine, we've
already ordered the entrees.

Oh.

Well, that's all right.

I'm expected at the
captain's table anyway.

I'll see you later.

You can't tell me the
sun did that to his hair.

Are you looking for someone?

Hm?

Oh.

Did you know that crazy
Joe flash is on board?

Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

I had heard about that.

Oh.

I was at Woodstock when he
made rock and roll history.

He came out and sang
"moon child," and pow--

instant stardom.

Actually, "moon child"
was his second number.

Before that, he sang
"neckties are for geeks"

and pow-- instant nothing.

[Laughs]

Right.

You must be a big fan, too.

Oh, well, yeah.

Joe and i-- we go
back a long way.

Joe?

Joe flash?

You know Joe flash?

I guess you could
say that, kind of.

Do you think that maybe
you could introduce me,

arrange a meeting or something?

Well, I could try, but
don't get your hopes up.

Lately, Joe and I have
gone our separate ways.

Thank you.

Herb.

Herb.

[Music playing]

I can't believe he'd leave
a great woman like you.

Oh, I can.

His secretary is years old
and has an incredible body.

Janice, there's a
bright side to this.

Oh, well.

Now we can get married.

Myles, think about it.

Do you want to do to
hope what Joe did to me?

Do you really want to
cause her that pain?

I don't want to hurt
anybody, but I love you.

I love you, too, and i'm
going to do something about it.

Oh, thank you, Janice.

If I stay near
you, you'll only

be tempted to leave your wife.

So I've decided to
take my own cabin.

With one stroke, your
husband ended one marriage

and destroyed a
perfectly good affair.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Oh, it's so powerful.

The sea giveth.

The sea taketh away.

I know.

It's got two of my best cameras.

I finally had to buy a strap.

You know, if that dinner
invitation is still open,

I'd like to take you up
on it tomorrow night.

Oh, I'd like that very
much, but I understand

if you have other obligations.

'Tis just those obligations
of which I must rid myself of.

I have no love for
Victoria sabatini,

and if I spend one more day
with that family, that--

that pack of jackals,
I will surely go mad.

But what will you do?

I have no choice.

Since the very moment
I laid eyes on you,

my heart was c*ptive.

Oh, Lance, you make me weak.

Then run away with
me to Buenos Aires.

I know a franciscan
there that will marry us.

We can live a simple
life as gaucho and wife.

Oh, I wish it were so simple.

But Henri is expecting
me to marry him.

Perhaps I can
change your mind.

So this is how you
repay my kindness.

Henri, I don't
know what to say.

Of course not.

You are young and inexperienced
in matters of the heart.

Someday I may summon the
character to forgive you,

but you, you brigand, you
have insulted my honor.

I have done no wrong.

This woman is not your chattel.

Youngblood, I
challenge you to a duel.

No mind.

I have another.

Let's fight to the death.

Ace: Katherine, is
something wrong?

Oh, no.

I was just lost in thought.

Why did you slap me?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was thinking about my
story, and, well, sometimes I

get a little carried away.

Glad you're not
writing "the godfather."

[Music playing]

Judy: Ladies and gentlemen,
the international lounge

is proud to present tonight's
featured entertainment,

the mermaids.

[Applause]

[Music playing]

[Singing] I've got a chip on my
shoulder with your name on it.

Knock it off.

So don't you stand there
foolin' if you don't want it.

Knock it off.

I'd say you're either a
lover or you are a liar.

So don't you push too hard.

You're playin' with fire.

Baby make your move.

Step across the line.

Just touch me one more time.

Come on, dare me.

I want to take you on.

I know I can move, and I'll be
loving you if you just dare me.

If there's any truth
behind your intentions,

night's going to end up on fire.

You better believe it.

Better believe it.

Looks like you're
looking for trouble,

and I say you found it.

You found it.

You'll have to come
right through me.

There's no way around it.

Around it.

I hope that mean hungry
means what it's sayin'.

'Cause I'm just sitting on
ready, ready and waiting.

Baby, make your move.

Baby, make your move.

Step across the line.

Step across the line.

Touch me one more time.

Dare me.

I want to take you on.

I know I can move.

And I'll be lovin' you
if you just dare me.

[Applause]

[Music playing]

Female announcer:
Buenos dias, and welcome

to fabulous acapulco.

This Mexican haven offers some
of the world's most beautiful

beaches, wonderful shopping,
a sparkling night life,

and everything it takes to
guarantee you a bien tiempo.

[Music playing]

[Chatter]

Hi, Joyce.

Hello.

Listen, I've got some
good news and some bad news.

The bad news is Joe flash
doesn't want to see anybody.

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

He's even got his
own mirrors covered.

Oh.

Well, what's the good news?

The good news is now you
can go into acapulco with me.

Oh.

Oh, Joe could still
change his mind.

Stars are like that, you know.

I'd better wait on board.

Joyce, I think you're
wasting your time.

No, I've wasted my
time on Joe flash before,

and it's paid off.

Oh?

How?

My girlfriend and I stood
in the rain for three hours

once in buffalo
waiting to see him.

Well, his plane was delayed
because of the weather.

We were soaked to the bone.

But when Joe showed
up, it just stopped

raining, almost like magic.

It was the greatest
concert I ever saw.

Wow, what a guy, huh?

Worth risking pneumonia for.

Mm-hm.

We could have lunch
tonight if you like.

I tell you,
Joyce, Joe flash is

going to be spending
the day in the cabin,

and herb hanson is
going parasailing.

Parasailing.

Yeah.

[Inaudible].

Yeah.

See you later.

Yeah.

Janice, we need to talk.

Myles, I don't think we
should even sit together.

Being close to each other
is just going to get us

all started up again.

I know you're afraid you're
going to break up my marriage

and hurt my wonderful wife.

I think it's time to
tell you the truth.

What are you talking about?

Our marriage is
not so wonderful.

I never told you about
hope's drinking problem.

She drinks?

But she's president of the pta.

Yeah, well, she was
impeached after the trial.

Trial?

Shoplifting.

Oh.

Myles: But it was
her first offense--

at least the first
time she was caught.

Oh, dear god.

She'd have never done
it if it wasn't for Duke.

Duke?

Our pool man.

I should have known they
were having an affair when

he gave us that free acid wash.

Mm-hm.

Look, Myles.

Before you try to tell me
that she's been poisoning you,

I think I know
what you're doing.

I'm getting divorced,
and suddenly, hope

changes from Betty Crocker
to the [inaudible]..

Ok, so I lied about Duke.

I'm ashamed of you, Myles.

I can't believe
you would tell me

all those lies about your wife.

You're right.

Well, I made it all up.

She is wonderful.

In fact, she's too good for me.

She'd be better off
without me, so I think

we should just get married.

Myles, this is pathetic.

The least we can do is to end
our affair with some dignity.

[Music playing]

Ace: Whoa, whoa.
Hold on a second.

I've been looking
all over for you.

Can't stop now.

I got two laps to go.

Listen, I've got a plan.

You call it quits now, and we'll
walk off the rest in acapulco.

Sold.

I've done enough writing
for today anyhow,

and given the choice,
I'd rather shop than run.

Great.

I'll wait right here for
you while you change.

You're on.

All right.

[Music playing]

Katherine.

Lance.

Take me away with you, while
we're docked in Istanbul.

I can't.

Destiny delays me.

I have a duel to fight.

Oh, forget Henri.

Darling, don't you
see, if I k*ll Henri,

I shall be rid of him forever?

But what if he kills you?

What happens to me?

Well, I suppose you'll have
to take another look at Henri.

Fear not, my love.

Right is on our side.

Mm.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, I was just
catching my breath

before I go and change
like I said I was going to,

and now I'm going to, so bye.

Bye.

[Music playing]

You know, a funny
thing happens when

you're out there parasailing.

There comes a point when
you're feet up in the air,

and you realize the only
thing holding you up

is this large hanky.

So I, uh, I decided to
go shopping instead.

Oh, how thoughtful.

It's paper.

I knew that.

Well, at least they don't
need any water this way.

So, uh, I guess Mr. Wonderful
didn't show up, huh?

No, he's probably
still in his cabin.

He just finished a long tour.

I'm sure he's very tired.

Joyce, why are you
defending the guy?

Maybe he's not the
sweetheart you think he is.

What do you mean?

You and your
girlfriend didn't wait

for three hours in
buffalo, because his plane

couldn't land.

The guy was hung over
the night before,

and he pushed back his
tennis lesson three hours

and just kept his fans waiting.

You're making that up.

It's the truth, Joyce.

Well, I think
you're just jealous.

That's not so.

You think Joe flash
is some kind of hero.

Maybe he's not.

Maybe he's just a-- just a
guy sliding irresponsibly

through life like
some kid and getting

away with it, because he got
lucky in the music business.

Maybe he doesn't
deserve to have people

like you spending their
lives waiting around for him.

Are you through?

Yeah, I think so.

Well, I've got another
maybe for you, herb.

You know, I thought
you were the nicest guy

that I've met in a long time.

Well, maybe I was wrong.

[Knocking]

Janice, there's no hope.

Myles, there's always hope.

You're just a little
depressed right now.

Hope, my wife--

she doesn't exist.

- You're a desperate man.
- It's true.

I made her all up.

She's a figment
of my imagination.

I know all about her.

She's a figment of
your imagination, too.

Think about it, Janice.

Doesn't my family bear
a striking resemblance

to the cunninghams
on "happy days--"

a son and daughter named Richie
and joanie, a dog named fonzie?

You mean that all
these years, you

never had a wife and family?

That's right.

And every year, I had a plan
or scheme for ways to meet you,

and you could do it
any time you wanted?

Oh, I must be the biggest fool
in the history of infidelity.

It wasn't that easy for me.

I had to spend a whole year
waiting alone to see you.

You had Joe.

But why did you have
to invent a family?

Well, at first,
for protection.

I was coming off a
bad relationship.

I didn't want to get hurt.

Oh.

Then when I saw how much
you cared about your family,

I decided not to
tell you the truth.

I may be a liar, but
I'm no home wrecker.

My home got wrecked anyhow.

I know, but it wasn't
directly my fault.

And now that Joe's out of the
picture, and hope was never in,

there's no reason we
can't get married.

This is a lot to take.

I love you, Janice,
and I want to marry you.

Just give it some thought.

I will.

For what it's
worth, I'm sorry.

[Music playing]

Katherine, where
have you been?

I've been looking for
you all afternoon.

Oh, I went into
acapulco with ace.

Uh--

don't worry, Henry.

I finished my
pages for the day.

Spent the afternoon with
the ship's photographer?

Mm-hm, and now I'm going
to have to dinner with him.

Oh, I see.

Does that bother you?

No.

Of course not.

You know, if you don't
want me to go, just say so.

Katherine, I edit your
books, not your personal life.

You should do whatever
you want to do.

[Music playing]

Coward!

Turning tail, lafete?

Never.

I was merely going
for my w*apon.

Man: Hey, take mine.

I just got it [inaudible].

Lafete, lafete.

Ha!

Get on with it.

En garde.

En garde.

Ya.

What's his issue, father?

Why are they fighting?

I don't know.

Honor, dignity, something petty.

Cut him through, youngblood.

Perhaps a taste
of cold sea will

teach you a little civility.

[French]

Now, lafete, last chance.

Will you relinquish your
claim to this woman?

Never.

Then you leave me no
choice, you scoundrel.

[Screams]

[Applause]

Henri!

Oh, my loyal Henri.

I have d*ed and
gone to heaven.

I never meant for
it to end this way.

Pity.

Now you will never
know the truth.

The truth?

About what?

No!

You can't die.

It's not fair.

You can't die.

It's not fair at all.

Hey, if life were
fair, I'd be the captain.

What's your problem?

Huh?

Oh, nothing.

Thanks anyway.

Hm, something's not right here.

I need a different ending.

[Music playing]

So lafete, last chance.

Will you relinquish your
claim to this woman?

Never!

Oh, Lance!

Lance, I never meant
for it to end this way.

Save your tears, Katherine.

I'm afraid I must
tell you the truth.

This man has been plotting
with the sabatinis

to steal your money.

But I don't have any money.

Au contraire.

You have a fabulous
fortune, for sure.

I promised your
dying father that I

would not reveal this news
until your th birthday.

Well, you're a little late.

Never mind.

Your father was afraid that
the fortune hunters would

try to steal your inheritance.

Lance, why would you do this?

Because his name
is dinzo sabatini.

[Gasps] Is this true?

[Using childish voice]
Well, they made me do it,

said they'd take away
me clothes allowance.

I'll spare your life only to
save this young lady's sight

of a wretched man's death.

Henri, how can
I ever thank you?

Oh, no need.

I was merely fulfilling my duty.

Is that all that
moves you, Henri--

duty?

Have you never felt the
stirrings of a deeper emotion?

And what if I had?

Would it have made
any difference?

It'd make all the
difference in the world.

I'm in love with you.

I enjoyed the day in
acapulco, but, you know,

love takes some time.

Huh?

Oh, ace, I'm sorry.

I was thinking about
something else.

I'm sorry I'm late.

You ready to go?

Oh, ace, I can't
have dinner with you.

Look, you've been very
sweet, but the timing

just isn't right for us.

There's something I
must find out for sure

before I can make a commitment.

No matter what, we'll
always have acapulco.

Just my luck.

Some guys get the girl.

I get the city.

[Music playing]

Joyce, listen, don't
get mad, all right?

I'm going to prove to
you that I'm not jealous.

I've arranged for you
to meet Joe flash.

You did?

Oh, herb, thank you.

When do I meet him?

Right now.

You're looking at him.

I'm crazy Joe flash.

[Whoosh]

That's not funny, herb.

Crazy Joe flash:
But Joyce, I'm not--

look, wait a second.

I can prove it to you.

Wait a second.

Take a look at my
driver's license.

I don't believe this.

You stole the man's license.

I didn't steal his license.

Look at that picture.

That's me.

This doesn't look
anything like you.

It doesn't look anything
like me, does it?

Oh, Joyce.

Let me try to explain this, ok?

You see, I shaved off my beard,
and I cut my hair, because i--

no good, huh?

What am I gonna--

wait, hang on one second.

Isaac, Isaac, come here.

I need your help.

Excuse me one second, ok, folk?

Sorry.

Isaac-- please, Isaac,
tell her my real name.

Oh, herb hanson.

Isaac, tell her
my real stage name.

Oh, crazy Joe flash.

Whew!

He needs a little
more coaching, herb.

Isaac: Oh, no, he really
is crazy Joe flash.

See, I had a band that used
to open for him in the ' s.

Oh?

And who are you?

Prince?

Wait.
Wait.

I should've thought
of this sooner.

Hang on one second, ok?

What is he doing?

One second.

I'll get it right back
to you, I promise, ok?

[Playing guitar]

[Sound goes out]

I have never been so
embarrassed in my entire life.

Myles, I've given
a lot of thought

to everything you told me.

And?

And I've decided to forgive
you for not being married.

That's great.

Well, now before you
cr*ck open the champagne,

there's more.

I've also decided that we
should put off any plans

until we take the cruise again.

That's a whole year.

Oh, no.

They have these every week.

I think I could get
away next month.

How about you?

Sure, I have no
family responsibilities.

I'll just put fonzie in a
kennel and meet you back here.

Next time, let's get a
different cabin number, hm?

[Knocking]

Come in.

Henry, I want
to know the truth.

How do you really feel about me?

Well, you're a really
wonderful writer.

It's just that sometimes
you overdo the metaphor.

Dammit, Henry.

I don't want a
literary critique.

I just want to know
if you've ever had

any romantic feelings for me.

[Music playing]

Oh, my.

Am I that transparent?

I tried so hard to
be professional.

You mean you do care about me?

Ever since you
came into my office

with your coming of
age adventure novel,

I have been so in love with you.

But Henry, that
was five years ago.

Why didn't you
ever say anything?

Well, I guess it was
because I'm your editor,

and I felt that I had a certain
responsibility to your career.

You were afraid I didn't
have the same feelings for you?

Well, that played
a part in it too.

Henry, I've been in love
with you for a very long time.

You are?

Mm-hm.

You were, really?

More than Rebecca
loved Ronaldo

in "tempest of passion."

Wow, she threw herself
off a cliff for him.

Well, she doesn't
have a career.

So what do we do now?

Well, my editor would suggest
putting in a love scene.

Never argue with your editor.

[Music playing]

Joyce, I want you to
know that I love you,

and I'm not going to give up.

I'm going to keep trying
until I make you love me too.

I'm for that.

You are?

Wow.

I thought this was going
to be a lot harder.

I have been such a fool
wasting this whole cruise

waiting for crazy Joe flash
when I should have been

paying more attention
to a lovely guy

that I'm really attracted to.

Will you, uh, forgive
me for embarrassing

you like that in the lounge?

Forgive you?

You were trying
so hard to impress

me with that ridiculous
impersonation

of crazy Joe flash.

Hey.

It's all right.

I was very flattered.

Would you like to see my
impression of Tina Turner?

It's hot.

I'd rather see herb hanson.

[Music playing]

Oh, bye bye, gopher.

See you again next year?

Yeah.

It'll be a great place
to spend our honeymoon.

You want a lift?

My car's here.

Great.

Well, I'm glad to
see you two together.

Hey, thanks for
everything, Isaac.

Oh, my pleasure, Joe.

Oh, Isaac, you don't have
to call him Joe anymore.

Oh, Joe, hey.

You forgot to sign your bill.

Well, you've got the
whole ship doing it.

You signed Joe flash.

You can't sign
someone else's name.

Thank you.

See you later.

Why would you do that?

Why would gopher accept it?

- Pay no mind.
- Well, wait a minute.

You're not really Joe--
- I'll tell you what.

When we get up to my
limo, I'll introduce you

to my manager and my
secretary and my bodyguard.

I don't really need a bodyguard,
but the guy's my relative.

Come on.

Oh, I didn't--

I would never have--

yes, [inaudible].

[Inaudible].

Oh, I'm glad you're all here.

I couldn't leave without
thanking you all for everything

you did for me.

Ah, did you get a
start on your book?

Oh, yeah, Katherine says
she modeled the characters

after all of you.

Really?

Well, that's very flattering.

Well, I hope you feel that
way after you read the book.

Bye.

Bye bye.

Bye.

I wonder what
she meant by that.

She probably made me the her.

Of course, I'm a doctor, a
natural for a romantic lead.

[Interposing voices]

Will you stop that bickering?

[Music playing]