South Park: The 25th Anniversary Concert (2022)

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South Park: The 25th Anniversary Concert (2022)

Post by bunniefuu »

All: Welcome to South Park!

[ Cheers and applause ]

"South Park" is one of the
greatest things of all time.

♪♪

You can make fun of anything

because comedy is
the universal language.

[ Both fart ]

We know that this is gonna be
such a magical evening.

This is like a
once-in-a-lifetime thing to do.

♪ Timmy ♪

"South Park" is the greatest
show ever.

What do I like about
the show? I cringe.

- I'm so excited!
- I'm so excited! -I'm so excited!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here come the bastards ♪

♪ I heard it from a confidant ♪

♪ Who heard it
from a confidant ♪

♪ They're definitely
on their way ♪

♪ There's one with this idea ♪

♪ Something about a
hammer head shark ♪

♪ Nose hairs and flatus ♪

♪ Best keep your
distance because ♪

♪♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here come the bastards ♪

♪ Bury your head
deep in the sand ♪

♪ Anonymity is a virtue ♪

♪ In this day and age ♪

♪ Amazing hand dexterity ♪

♪ Flagrant misuse of security ♪

♪ Better run, run, run, run,
run, run, run, run, run, run ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Who the hell are you guys?

[ Cheers and applause ]

We're Ween, man.

The Ween men.

The Ween men.

I do declare

last night was f*cking amazing.

I don't know if
anybody was here.

[ Cheers and applause ]

I still have a floater
from last night.

♪♪

And a big reason for that,

besides all the fanciness
that's coming your way,

that is Gene Ween right
there on the stage with me.

[ Cheers and applause ]

That is Dean Ween right there

on the stage with me.

♪♪

It's a Ween and Primus sandwich.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And there's nothing
in the middle.

It's just f*cking Ween
and Primus sandwich.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Primus, Ween, I
say Primusween...

It's like a drain cleaner.

Primusween... your
pipes are mighty clean

after you use Primusween.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Come on. Get with
me now, Red Rock.

Jesus f*cking Christ.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Primusween ♪

♪ Primusween ♪

♪ Primusween ♪

♪ Primusween ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ There's magic inside you ♪

Cartman: What is magic?

It's a thought, it's a vision,

but most of all, magic
is a feeling that you get

deep down in your balls.

Or if you're a woman,

deep down in your girl balls.

♪ The magic's inside you ♪

♪♪

And sometimes there's magic
in the wonder of a little boy.

Oh, hey, everybody!

It's me, Butters!

Butters, come on!
You have to see this!

Hey, where are you going, Eric?

Where the hell are we, dude?

Do you believe in magic, Stan?

Cartman? Where are you?

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Yeah, look! Eric is
up on those rocks!

That's right, I'm up here, guys.

There's magic in all of
us gathered here tonight.

Come on!

What are you doing, Cartman?

Just come on, it's
f*cking magic, Kyle.

[ Laughter ]

This way, guys. You got to see.

♪♪

♪ There's magic inside you ♪

♪ You just have to find it ♪

♪ It's deep down in your balls ♪

♪ Or in your girl balls ♪

Look, you guys.

Isn't this amazing?

Let me see.

Whoa.

Where are we?

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

What is this place?

I don't know, but it's
just so f*cking magical.

Wait a minute. Wait.

You guys, I know where we are.

We're home.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Welcome to the shindig.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And welcome, definitely,

from both Matt and I,

welcome to one of the
best nights of our lives.

We're on stage with Ween.

And we're on stage with Primus.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

So my name's Trey.

I grew up right here
in Morrison, Colorado.

♪♪

Right up 285 up
South Turkey Creek.

♪♪

I'm Matt. Hi.

I grew up in Littleton,
which is just over there.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Yeah.

That's the biggest cheer
Littleton's ever gotten.

[ Laughs ]

And Matt and I met at
the University of Colorado

in Boulder right over there.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And I can tell you that as
a little boy growing up here,

both Matt and I,
like, never dreamed

that we'd be up on this stage.

[ Cheers and applause ]

We're...

We're gonna do a bunch of
songs from "South Park" tonight

all throughout the night.

♪♪

But we're gonna mix
it in with real music

by Ween and
Primus, so it's alright.

[ Cheers and applause ]

But definitely it
is a magic night,

'cause I never thought I'd be
able to stand up on the stage

and sing this.

♪ Shut your f*cking
face, uncle fucker ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ You're a cock-sucking,
ass-licking uncle fucker ♪

♪♪

♪ You're an uncle
fucker, yes, it's true ♪

♪ Nobody fucks
uncles quite like you ♪

♪ Shut your f*cking
face, uncle fucker ♪

♪ You're the one who f*cked
his uncle, uncle fucker ♪

♪ You don't eat or
sleep or mow the lawn ♪

♪ You just f*ck your
uncle all day long ♪

♪ All day long ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Vocalizing ]

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ Ohhhhhh ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Uncle fucker ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

Say, Terrance, what
did the Spanish priest say

to the Iranian
gynecologist? ♪ Ooh, ah ♪

I don't know, Phillip. What?

[ Farts ]

[ Both laugh ] ♪ Ooh ♪

Yes, Phillip? [ Farts ]

♪ Uncle fucker ♪

[ Farts ] Ohh, Terrance!

[ Farts ]

[ Farts ] [ Farts ]

[ Farts ] [ Laughter ]

Hey, Scott, guess what. What?

[ Farts ] [ Laughter ]

[ Farting ]

[ High-pitched farting ]

[ Farts ] [ Farts ]

[ Farts ] [ Farts ]

[ Farts ]

Aah! Oh, it's bad! [ Farts ]

[ Farts ]

[ Farts ]

[ Farting ] Hut! Huuuut!

[ Farting ] Hut! Hut!

[ Farting ]

[ Farting ]

[ Farts ] [ Farts ]

[ Farting continues
] ♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Uncle fucker ♪ Aw, sick!

[ Farts ] [ Laughs ]

[ Farting continues ]

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

[ Laughter ] Terrance:
Oh, you farted!

[ Farting continues ] ♪ Ooh ♪

[ Shouting ] ♪ Uncle fucker ♪

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

Ohh!

[ Farts ]

[ Farts, screams ]

[ Rumbling ]

[ Farts ]

♪♪

♪ Shut your f*cking
face, uncle fucker ♪

♪♪

♪ You're a boner-biting
bastard, uncle fucker ♪

♪♪

♪ You're an uncle
fucker, I must say ♪

♪ You f*cked your
uncle yesterday ♪

♪ Yesterday ♪

♪ Uncle fucker ♪

♪ That's U-N-C-L-E, f*ck you ♪

♪ Uncle fucker ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

This is so cool, you
guys. Thank you so much.

There's your mom right there.

[ Laughs ]

We have so many people here.

We have family here tonight.
We have friends here tonight.

We've got the whole crew
of "South Park" here tonight.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And most of all,

we've got the best fans
in the world here tonight.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And there's really no
words to describe it.

I think the best word that
comes to mind is montage.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ The hour's approaching
to give it your best ♪

♪ You've got to
reach your prime ♪

♪ That's when you need
to put yourself to the test ♪

♪ And show us the
passage of time ♪

♪ We're gonna need a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Girl, I want a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ And just show a lot of
things happenin' at once ♪

♪ Remind everyone
of what's goin' on ♪

♪ What's goin' on ♪

♪ And with every sh*t,
show a little improvement ♪

♪ To show it all
would take too long ♪

♪ That's called a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Babe, I need a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ In anything, if
you want to go ♪

♪ From just a
beginner to a pro ♪

♪ You'll need a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ That's why "Rocky"
had a montage ♪

Bruce Howell on guitar.

♪♪

♪♪

Over here, Mr. Dean Ween.

♪♪

And over there, Larry LaLonde!

♪♪

♪♪

♪ In anything, if
you want to go ♪

♪ From just a
beginner to a pro ♪

♪ You'll need a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Babe, I want a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Always fade out ♪

♪ In a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ If you fade out it seems
like more time has passed ♪

♪ In your montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

[ Vocalizing ]

♪ Montage ♪

[ Vocalizing ]

Thank you!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Are you having fun?

[ Cheers and applause ]

'Cause I'm having a great time.

There are cameras
here, as you can see.

This is all gonna
be on television,

so please watch your language.

[ Laughter ]

We, uh...

We love it here in Colorado,

but there's another
place I think about often,

and that place is San Diego.

There's one thing
that comes to mind

when I think about San Diego.

And I'd like to sing
about it right now.

One, two, one, two, three, four.

♪ Dah dah dah dah dah ♪

♪ Dah dah dah ♪

♪ Dah dah dah dah dah ♪

♪ Dah dah dah ♪

♪ I'm gonna jack it where
the sun always shines ♪

♪ He's gonna jack it ♪

♪ Been spreadin' the word and
now I've got to ease my mind ♪

♪ Jackin' it, ohhh ♪

♪ Been plantin'
those apple seeds ♪

♪ And while the apples grow ♪

♪ I'm gonna go out
jackin' it in San Diego ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin'
it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, smackin
it, spankety-smack ♪

♪ I don't need no shirt, no ♪

♪ I'm gonna take
my pants right off ♪

♪ He's about to jack it ♪

♪ On such a fine day, who
needs underwear or socks? ♪

♪ Jackin' it, ohhh ♪

♪ Been around God's country
and there's one thing I know ♪

♪ There's no better
place for jackin' it than... ♪

♪ San Diego ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin'
it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, spankin'
it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin'
it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Jack it for the Lord ♪ ♪ Spankin'
it, spankin' it, smackety-smack ♪

[ Whistling ]

Hey, why not get
down to San Diego?

There's so much to see.

From the warm
tortillas of Old Town

to the sparkling
waters of Mission Bay.

And when you're
done sight-seeing,

why not try jackin' it on
one of their city streets?

San Diego. Come,
take a load off.

♪ Jackin' it, jackin'
it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, spankin'
it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ A-whackin' it, whackin'
it, whackety-whack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, jerkin'
it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ The cars are
all passin' me by ♪

♪ They stop to say "Hello" ♪

♪ Hey, that guy's jackin' it ♪

♪ From out his window,
there's a guy sh**t' video ♪

♪ Video of him jackin' it ♪

♪ And if the good Lord Jesus ♪

♪ Comes knockin' on my do' ♪

♪ Just tell him
I'm jackin' it in... ♪

♪ San Diego ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin'
it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, spankin'
it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ Whackin' it, whackin'
it, whackety-whack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, spankin'
it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin'
it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spank, spank, spank, spank, smackety-smack
♪ ♪ Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack ♪

Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Matt: Man, look
at all the people.

Holy sh*t.

♪♪

[ As Mr. Mackey ] M'kay,
can everyone hear me m'kay?

[ Cheers and applause ]

M'kay.

Now, when I say "m'kay, kids,"
you say, "m'kay, Mr. Mackey."

M'kay, kids?

Audience: M'kay, Mr. Mackey.

M'kay.

Um...

There's kind of
a lot of swearing

going on up here, m'kay?

Swearing's bad.

So, uh, I've got a little
song to sing about that.

♪ You see, there's times
when you get suckered in ♪

♪ By dr*gs and alcohol
and sex with women ♪

M'kay, sex is bad.

M'kay.

♪ But it's when you do
these things too much ♪

♪ That you've become an addict
and must get back in touch ♪

Aww.

[ Cheers and applause ]

That's so cool.

♪ You can do it, it's
all up to you, m'kay ♪

♪ With a little plan, you
can change your life today ♪

♪ You don't have to spend
your life addicted to smack ♪

♪ Homeless on the streets
giving handjobs for cr*ck ♪

♪ Follow my plan and
very soon you will say ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay!" ♪

♪ Step 1... Instead
of "ass," say "buns" ♪

♪ Like "kiss my buns"
or "you're a buns hole!" ♪

♪ Step 2... Instead
of "sh*t," say "poo" ♪

♪ Like "bull-poo", "poo-head,"
and this "poo is cold" ♪

♪ Step 3... With
bitch, drop the "T" ♪

♪ 'Cause "bich" is
Latin for generosity ♪

♪ Step 4... Don't say
"f*ck" anymore, kids ♪

That's bad.

[ Cheers and applause ]

You know, espec... You know,
if you're around a lot of people,

maybe like 12,000 people,

and you're just saying
"f*ck" all the time,

it's just... it's bad.

Maybe... you might
have family around.

Maybe your daughter's here

and you're just up
here going "f*ck, f*ck."

That's a bad look.

♪ 'Cause "f*ck" is the
worst word that you can say ♪

♪ So just use the
word, "m'kay" ♪

♪ We can do it, it's
all up to us, m'kay ♪

♪ M'kay ♪

♪ With a little plan we can
change our lives today ♪

♪ Change it today ♪

♪ We don't have to spend our
lives sh**ting up in the trash ♪

♪ Homeless on the streets
giving handjobs for cash ♪

♪ Follow this plan and
very soon you will say ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ Step one ♪ ♪ Instead
of "ass," say "buns" ♪

♪ Like "kiss my buns" ♪
♪ Or "you're a buns hole" ♪

♪ Step two ♪ ♪ Instead
of "sh*t," say "poo" ♪

♪ As in "bull-poo" ♪ ♪
"Poo-head," and "this poo is cold" ♪

♪ Step three... with
bitch, drop the "T" ♪

♪ 'Cause "bich" is
Latin for generosity ♪

♪ Step four... we don't
say "f*ck" anymore ♪

♪ 'Cause "f*ck" is the
worst word that you can say ♪

♪ "f*ck" is the worst
word that you can say ♪

♪ We don't say "f*ck" ♪

♪ No, we shouldn't
say "f*ck," "f*ck" no ♪

You're cured, you can go!

♪ We don't have to spend our
lives sh**t' up in the trash ♪

♪ Homeless on the streets
giving handjobs for cash ♪

♪ Follow this plan and
very soon you will say ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

M'kay.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

[ Cheering ]

♪♪

♪♪

So I was a freshman
in college in 1989,

and somebody took... a friend
from the Bay Area took me to

a band playing on
Alferd Packer Day,

about 80 people.

And it's these guys
from the Bay Area,

three guys making
such a f*cking racket,

and the weirdest
music I've ever heard.

And I just thought,
"This is f*cking great,

I love this band, I gotta
listen to this sh*t forever."

And they quickly
became my favorite band,

they still are.

Their name's Primus if
you haven't figured it out.

And...

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Chuckles ]

So a few years later, me
and Trey make it to Hollywood

and we get a TV show pilot.

So we looked up Primus'
management company

in the phone book
and sent them a letter

and sent them a copy of
"The Spirit of Christmas."

And it worked.

And here we are.

I'm standing here with
a felt fish on my head.

So anyway, we got this
letter at the office that said,

"Hey, these guys
fresh out of college

have made this cartoon,
they're big Primus fans,

and they really want
you to do this thing.

They have $74 to spend."

And they said, you know,
"Hey, you want to do this thing?"

And we thought,
"Well, you know..."

And we watched "The
Spirit of Christmas",

we thought, "That's
f*cking amazing.

That's unbelievable,
that's incredible.

We're gonna do it." We
didn't do it for the money.

We did it because we thought
it was an amazing thing.

[ Cheering ]

So a few... about a month later,
we get something in the mail,

and here it is.

This is what we
got from these guys.

First sh*t.

[ Theme song plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

So the first thing
we thought was,

"Wow, that's f*cking amazing,
we got our own Primus song."

And second thing we thought was,

"That's a minute and 40 seconds.

That's not an intro theme song.
That's way too f*cking long."

Yeah, so what they did
is, they said, you know,

"Comedy Central... " they
passed the buck right on

to their bosses.

They said, "Comedy
Central says it's too slow,

it needs to be a
little zippa-dee-doo,

a little peppier.

Can you guys re-record it?"

And, you know, we're out
there traveling the world,

doing our thing, you
know, making that magic.

And we're like, "You know,
come on, dude, you gave us $74,

we're not going to go back
in and re-record this thing.

How about you just take it
and you just speed it up?"

Yeah, so we sped
it up in Pro Tools.

We crammed it down really
fast, but when you do that

with digital Pro Tools,
the voice kind of breaks,

so we had to go
back and ask Les,

"Please, can you
re-record your voice?"

He was psyched about
that, he was super psyched.

Which we did backstage.

You sent one of your
friends, we recorded backstage

at Fiddler's Green.

That's true. In
Colorado, on tour.

And then it turned on to this.

Turned into this.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

[ As Cartman ] ♪ Ample
parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

♪ Heading on up to South
Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

[Muffled] ♪ I love
girls with big fat titties ♪

♪ I love girls with
deep vaginas ♪

♪ So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

And then, the kids
went into fourth grade.

And we wanted something
special, so we called Les again

and said, "Could you
send us something else,

send us something new?"

So I said, "Matt, ain't
nothing better than

a little bit of wham-mola."

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

[ As Cartman ] ♪ Ample
parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

♪ Going down to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

[Muffled] ♪ I love
girls with big fat titties ♪

♪ I love girls with
deep vaginas ♪

♪ So come on
down to South Park ♪

♪ And meet some
friends of mine ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

There you go, there's
all the theme songs,

there's a history
of it. [ Chuckles ]

[ Cheering ]

So you can see, we have a
couple of mics set up here.

That's because one of
them has a pitch shift in it.

You know, when we
do the boys' voices,

we got to pitch them up.

So, we thought of a
few things we could do.

Like this.

♪♪

♪ Who's the boy that can
laugh at a storm cloud? ♪

♪ Turn a frown into
a smile for free? ♪

♪ Who's the kid with
a heart full of magic? ♪

♪ Everyone knows it's Butters! ♪

[ As Butters ] Well, that's me!

[ Cheering ]

♪ Who's the boy with
eyes full of wonder? ♪

♪ Who thinks being yourself
is the best thing to be? ♪

♪ Who's that rascal with
the tweezers in his pocket? ♪

♪ Everyone knows it's Butters! ♪

Well, that's me!

♪ Jumping in puddles,
skipping down the hallway ♪

♪ Petting goats at the petting
zoo, he loves John Alway ♪

It's John Elway. John Elway!

♪ Who's the tyke with
the cutest little dimples? ♪

♪ Batting his eyes at
every puppy he sees? ♪

♪ If you look inside yourself,
you might be surprised ♪

♪ When you find a little
boy named Butters! ♪

Well, that's me.

[ Cheering ]

♪♪

Hi, everybody.

I'm going to try to sing a
song. We'll see how it goes.

♪ We'll see how it goes ♪

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

♪ Hey, there, have you
heard about my robot friend? ♪

♪ He's metal and small
and doesn't judge me at all ♪

♪ He's a cyberwired bundle
of joy, my robot friend ♪

[ As Awesome-O ] I am Awesome-O.

Oh, hey, Awesome-O,
what's going on?

Um, Butters, Awesome-O
is getting very hungry.

I need some candy.

You don't eat candy.
You're a robot, Awesome-O.

You don't even eat.

Yeah, but Awesome-O is
very hungry, Butters, so go...

♪ I like to dip and daddle
with my robot friend ♪

♪ He's smart as can
be and emotion-free ♪

♪ And he's computed
his way to my heart ♪

♪ My robot friend ♪

Um, Butters, Awesome-O
has to go now.

I need to clear out my CPU.

Oh, man, but we have a
big trip planned, Awesome-O.

We're going to LA. We're
going to Hollywood, remember?

Oh, hell, no!

Awesome-O is not going
to LA with you, Butters.

♪ We're going out to LA,
me and my robot friend ♪

♪ We're gonna have so
much fun in the hot-hot sun ♪

♪ We're two of a kind, just
me and my robot friend ♪

Awesome-O thinks that
your song sucks, Butters.

Screw you guys. I'm going home.

Wait, don't go!

♪♪

[ Cheering ]

Hey.

♪ Hey, there ♪

♪ Did you know I
had a robot friend? ♪

♪ We used to dance and play,
but someone took him away ♪

♪ He was my 10
gigahertz old pal ♪

♪ My robot friend ♪

[ Cheering ]

Butters, Awesome-O
needs you to call him an Uber

'cause my mom's
credit card is not working.

Awesome-O, you're back!

Butters, f*ck you...

♪ Hey there, did you know
about my robot friend? ♪

Lame! ♪ He's smart as can be ♪

♪ And emotion-free ♪ Weak!

♪ And he's computed his way
to my heart, my robot friend ♪

Lame! ♪ My robot friend ♪

Weak!

♪ My robot friend ♪

Not cool.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Man: Thank you, Trey!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Normal voice ] Thank
you guys, so much.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ Times have changed ♪

♪ Our kids are getting worse! ♪

♪ They won't
obey their parents ♪

♪ They just want
to fart and curse! ♪

♪ Should we blame
the government? ♪

♪ Or blame society? ♪

♪ Or should we blame
the images on TV? ♪

♪ No, blame Canada! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! ♪

♪ With all their
beady little eyes ♪

♪ And flapping
heads so full of lies! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ♪

♪ We need to
form a full as*ault! ♪

♪ It's Canada's fault! ♪

♪ Don't blame me ♪

♪ For my son Stan ♪

♪ He saw the darn cartoon ♪

♪ And now he's off
to join the Klan! ♪

♪ And my boy Eric once ♪

♪ Had my picture on his shelf ♪

♪ And now when I see him
he tells me to f*ck myself! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ♪

♪ It seems that
everything's gone wrong ♪

♪ Since Canada came along! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ♪

♪ They're not even a
real country anyways! ♪

♪ My son could have
been a doctor or a lawyer ♪

♪ Rich and true ♪

♪ Instead he b*rned up
like a piggy on a barbecue! ♪

♪ Should we blame the matches? ♪

♪ Or should we blame the fire? ♪

♪ Or the doctors who
allowed him to expire? ♪

♪ Heck no! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ♪

♪ With all their
hockey hullabaloo ♪

♪ And that slut
Ryan Reynolds, too! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! ♪

♪ Shame on Canada! ♪

♪ For the smut we must stop ♪

♪ The trash we will stash,
the laughter and fun ♪

♪ Must all be undone ♪

♪ We must blame
them and cause a fuss ♪

♪ Before somebody
thinks of blaming us! ♪

♪♪

Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

You guys, there are so many
people to thank here tonight.

Again, the whole
"South Park" crew is here.

Where are you guys?

Oh, there they are, there's
the "South Park" crew.

Animators, technical directors,

all the people that
make it happen.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Thank you, guys.

There's also our
executive producer,

Anne Garefino, who put
this whole thing together,

and then she got COVID,
and she can't be here tonight.

But thank you so much, Anne.

And most of all,

I want to thank
my partner, Matt.

I want to say happy
anniversary, man.

I love you.

[ Cheers and applause ] Alright.

And we put a little
surprise together for Matt.

He has no idea that
this is going to happen,

and neither do you.

Roll the tape.

[ Laughing ]

Blame Canada, blame
Canada. Blah, blah, blah.

How come we get the
blame for everything, eh?

Geddy, I just
received a telegram

from Terrance and Phil
aboot the "South Park"

25th Birthday Farty.

[ Chuckles ]

Hey, Alex, what can we do
for our pals Matt and Trey?

Send them some free Rush beer?

Or even worse, we could
show up and jam with them, eh?

[ Laughing ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering continues ]

♪♪

What do you think, Stone-ey-ham?

[ Cheering ]

Well, here you go, brother.

[ "Closer to the Heart" plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ And the men who
hold high places ♪

♪ Must be the ones who start ♪

♪ To mold a new reality ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ The blacksmith
and the artist ♪

♪ Reflect it in their art ♪

♪ They forge their creativity ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Yes, closer to the heart ♪

♪♪

♪ Philosophers and ploughmen ♪

♪ Each must know his part ♪

♪ To sow a new mentality ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the
heart, oh, yeah ♪

♪♪

♪ Ooohhh ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ You can be the captain ♪

♪ And I will draw the chart ♪

♪ Sailing into destiny ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Oh, closer to the heart ♪

♪ I said closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

This is one of the most
amazing moments of my life.

[ Cheering ]

Matt Stone-ey-ham,
is this one of

the most amazing
moments of your life?

Look who is standing
in front of you.

It's Geddy and Alex!

♪♪

♪ Oh, closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

Come on now, South Park!

♪ Closer to South Park ♪

♪ Closer to South Park ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to South Park ♪

Come on!

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Yeah, closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Yeah, closer to the heart ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Song ends ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Thank you, eh.

[ Cheers and applause continue ]

♪ When I say I have
crabs, I mean literally ♪

♪♪

♪♪

You know there's nothing
like a cold Colorado morning.

[ Cheering ]

When you're waking
the kids up for school,

you go outside, and you got
to brush the snow off your truck.

You go back in, and you got to
give your kids something to eat.

Get 'em ready for the day.

Well, that's when you
start thinking you might want

to smoke a little weed.

[ Cheering ]

♪♪

We just hope that if
you do smoke weed,

that you play it safe
and choose Tegridy.

[ Cheering ]

'Cause just like that
cold Colorado morning,

Tegridy's got that
real Colorado flavor.

♪ 'Cause this ol'
world is getting to me ♪

♪ It seems like people
have got no inte... ♪

Audience: ♪ Tegridy ♪

Trey: Let's try that sh*t again.

Let's try that again.

♪ This ol' world
is getting to me ♪

♪ 'Cause it seems
like people got no ♪

Audience: ♪ Tegridy ♪

Trey: Oh, sh*t, you're right.

♪ So I loaded up the kids,
took my wife by the arm ♪

♪ And I moved on out
to a Colorado farm ♪

♪♪

♪ Now it's early to
bed, early to rise ♪

♪ The crops are plowed,
and it's no surprise ♪

♪ City folks are fightin',
and I don't give a darn ♪

♪ Darn, darn ♪

♪ 'Cause I make my
livin' on a Colorado farm ♪

♪♪

♪ I gotta drive the tractor,
gotta cut the grass ♪

♪ Chut-chut goes the baler
like it's never gonna last ♪

♪ There's food in the kitchen,
there's bud in the barn ♪

♪ Barn, barn ♪

♪ That's what you get
on a Colorado farm ♪

Alright, let's go!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Well, it going great,
it was going good ♪

♪ The weed was growing
like good weed should ♪

♪ Then Joe Biden took my job ♪

Took our job!

♪ Joe Biden took our job ♪

He took our job!

♪♪

♪ Well, they took our
job, they took our job ♪

Took our job!

♪ They took our job ♪

♪ Joe Biden took our job ♪

Took our job!

♪ Joe Biden took our jobs ♪

Took our jobs.

Joe Biden took our jobs.

- I want to know.
- Hold the G, hold the G.

Did they take your job?

[ Audience shouts ]

They took my... Mickey,
did they take your job?

Took my job!

They took his damn job!

Did they take you job?

What about... we got a
nice little lady over here.

Oh.

Can you come up here, ma'am?

Come up here, little girl.

Someone brought
a kid to the concert.

That was a good idea.

Come here, honey.

Young lady, did Joe
Biden take your job?

I don't know.

What's your name, little girl?

Harper.

Joe Biden took your
damn job, didn't he?

Yes, sir.

Now, I want you
to turn to this crowd

and say with meaning
that Joe Biden took your job.

Ready?

Joe Biden took my derr.

Yeah! Joe Biden
took... he took her job!

He took my job!

Took her damn job!
That son of bitch.

That son of bitch.

♪ Well ♪

♪ Ice-cold beer, pickup trucks ♪

♪ Country music, listin' sh*t ♪

♪ We got tegridy
to keep us warm ♪

♪ Warm, warm ♪

♪ That's what you get
on a Colorado farm ♪

♪♪

♪ And I'm just living
on a Colorado farm ♪

♪ sh*t ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Joe Biden.

It is quite possibly
the funniest joke

ever conceived, and
its origin is unknown.

The fishsticks joke
crosses all borders, all races,

all ages and ethnic groups,
and is slowly uniting our country.

In fact, the only person who
appears to not get the joke is

rapper Kanye West, who
becomes furious when people

use the joke on him.

Snyder: You ready don't get it?

Hey, man, I'm a
genius, alright?!

If I was a h*m*
or a fish, I would know!

Now let's see.

Somethin' about fishsticks
interacting with me

makes me a gay fish.

Kanye, really.

Alright, now what do
we know about fishsticks?

They're breaded, they're
fried, they're frozen.

Then under me, we
have rapper, genius.

And gay fish are h*m*.

They swim.

Is it because breaded has
something to do with genius,

which swims?

No, because you said
you like fish sticks, Kanye!

Don't... Don't you get it?

You see, "fish-dicks" is
a... is a play on words.

I don't need anyone
tellin' me "play on words"!

I'm a motherfuckin' lyrical
wordsmith motherfuckin' genius!

Boys, I understand
what you did now.

Untie them, guys. I
know what I have to do.

Yo, Kanye, you sure about this?

It's time for me
to stop runnin'.

I need to believe
what people tell me.

Let all my fans know I love
'em, but a gay fish just can't

live in the outside
world forever.

Don't be sad for me, guys!

♪♪

♪♪

Unh, come on.

♪♪

[ Autotuned ] ♪ I've
been so lonely, girl ♪

♪ I've been so sad and down ♪

♪ Couldn't understand
why haters joked around ♪

♪ I wanted to be free with
other creatures like me ♪

♪ And now I got my wish ♪

♪ 'Cause I know
that I'm a gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish, yo ♪

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

♪ He's a gay fish
♪ ♪ I'm a fish, yo ♪

♪ Going on a gay fish ♪

It's all right, girl.

♪ Makin' love to
other gay fish ♪

♪ All those lonely nights
at the grocery store ♪

♪ In the frozen fish
aisle feelin' like a whore ♪

♪ 'Cause I wasn't being true
even though everyone said ♪

-♪ I had to make a
switch ♪ -♪ Gay fish ♪

♪ 'Cause I know that
I'm a gay fish, gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish, yo ♪

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

-♪ He's a gay fish
♪ -I'm a fish, yo ♪

♪ Baby, I'm a gay fish ♪

It's all right, girl.

♪ I used to be scared,
denying who I was ♪

♪ Acting straight but
going out to gay fish clubs ♪

♪ Dancing with the marlins ♪

♪ Making out with
the all the snappers ♪

♪ I'd take the salmon home ♪

♪ And work that
caudal fin for hours ♪

♪ But now I'm out and I'm
free to love what I want ♪

♪ Be it yellowfin or trout
or them trout in Vermont ♪

♪ Slap that sea bass ass, I
make the grouper butt shake ♪

♪ I'll come to your
house and have an orgy ♪

♪ In your fish t*nk, bitch ♪

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

♪ Baby, I'm a gay fish ♪

♪♪

♪ I really get around,
I'm the slut of the sea ♪

♪ When I say I have
crabs, I mean literally ♪

♪ I was out having dinner
and had to go down ♪

♪ On that mackerel on the dish ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the
gayest of the gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish ♪

Gay fish, yo.

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

I'm a fish, yo. ♪
He's a gay fish ♪

♪ Baby, I'm a gay fish ♪

It's all right, girl.

♪ Unh ♪

♪ But I gotta settle
down, I can't be a whore ♪

♪ I can't just sleep
with any fish no more ♪

♪ I've got me a
lover, a brother ♪

♪ Who's a cross-dressing
pike named Trish ♪

♪ And together we are gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish ♪

Gay fish, yo.

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

♪ I'm a fish, yo ♪ ♪ Gay fish ♪

♪ Baby, I'm a gay fish ♪

It's all right, girl.

♪ And I'm making love, ooh ♪

♪ To other gay
motherfuckin' fish ♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Now we're gonna have
a little more Ween for us.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, little boy,
whatcha got there? ♪

♪ Kind sir, it's a
mollusk I've found ♪

♪ Did you find it in
the sandy ground? ♪

♪ Does it emulate
the ocean's sound? ♪

♪ Yes, I found it
on the ground ♪

♪ Emulating the ocean's sound ♪

♪ Bring forth the
mollusk cast unto me ♪

♪ Let's be forever,
let forever be free ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, little boy,
come walk with me ♪

♪ And bring your new
found mollusk along ♪

♪ Does it speaketh
of the trinity? ♪

♪ Can it gaze at the sun
with its wandering eye? ♪

♪ Yes, it speaks
of the trinity ♪

♪ Casting light at the sun
with its wandering eye ♪

♪ Bring forth the
mollusk, cast unto me ♪

♪ Let's be forever,
let forever be free ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Alright, Red Rocks.

♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ No ♪

You see there are three
things that spur the mollusk

from the sand.

The waking of all creatures
that live on the land.

And with just one faint
glance, back into the sea,

the mollusk, it lingers,
with its wandering eye.

Yeah!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Finale plays ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Song ends ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Do you wanna
lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

Les: So, many years
ago, we did a song

and a fellow by the
name of Tom Waits

did one of the
characters in the song,

and tonight we're going to try
and eclipse that performance

with a little special guest.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Stop.

♪♪

[ As Butters ] Well, I remember
it as if it were a meal ago...

Said Butters the
Cat as he reeled back

to clear whatever
foreign matter may have

nestled its way into
his mighty throat.

Many a fat alley rat
had met its demise

while staring point blank down

the cavernous barrel of this
awesome prowling machine.

Truly a wonder of
nature, this urban predator.

Butters the Cat had
many a story to tell,

but it was a rare
occasion such as this

that he did...

♪♪

♪♪

She came slidin'
down the alleyway

like me drippin'
off a hot biscuit.

The aroma, the mean scent

was enough to arouse suspicion
in even the oldest of tigers

that hung around the
hot spot in those days.

The sight was beyond belief.

Many a head snapped
for double, even triple takes

as this vivacious
feline made her way

down into the delta
of the alleyway,

where the most virile
of the young tabbies

were known to hang out.

They hung out in droves.

Such a multitude of masculinity

could only be
found in one place.

And that was O'Malley's alley.

♪♪

But not even a muscle
in her neck did twitch

as she sauntered straight
into the heart of the alleyway.

♪♪

She knew what she wanted...

She was lookin'
for that stud bull.

She was looking for that he cat.

And that was me.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Butters the Cat is my name

and I say unto thee...

♪♪

♪ Say, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna
lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? Say, baby? ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Say, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna
lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna
lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby-by-by-by ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna
lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? Say, baby? ♪

♪♪

♪ Say, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna
lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna
lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna
lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you
wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? Say, baby? ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Kyle: Well, let's see
how he likes the icy blast

of my nunchucks of Kuramoto.

Ugh! Oof!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

♪♪

Aaaaaah!

Aaaah! [ Crying ]

Cartman: Oh, sh*t, dude.

Butters, oh, my God!

So, how would you
ninjas like to do battle?

Uh, not not, Craig. We
We have to be going.

I am not Craig. I am Ginza!

♪♪

What... What's
the matter, fellas?

Are you ninjas or p-p-pussies?

Hyah!

I swore to never fight again.

We don't have a choice,
Kyle. Just humor them.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Subarashii, chin chin mono ♪

♪ Kintama no kami aru ♪

♪ Sore no oto, sarubobo? ♪

♪ Iie! Ninja ga, imasu ♪

♪ Hey, hey, let's
go! Kenka suru ♪

♪ Taisetsu na mono,
protect my balls ♪

♪ Boku ga warui,
so let's fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪♪

♪ Kono uta, chotto, baka ♪

♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪

♪ Eigo ga, mecha, kucha ♪

♪ Daijobu, we
do it all the time ♪

♪ Hey, hey, let's
go! Kenka suru ♪

♪ Taisetsu na mono,
protect my balls ♪

♪ Boku ga warui,
so let's fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

Bruce Howell!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, hey, let's
go! Kenka suru ♪

♪ Taisetsu na mono,
protect my balls ♪

♪ Boku ga warui,
so let's fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪♪

♪ Keen tama wa budda budda ♪

♪ Keen tama wa budda budda ♪

♪ Keen tama wa budda budda ♪

♪ Keen tama wa budda budda ♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, hey, let's
go! Kenka suru ♪

♪ Taisetsu na mono ♪

♪ Protect my balls ♪

♪ Boku ga warui,
so let's fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting ♪

♪ Someone fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

So when Matt and I were

at the University of
Colorado in Boulder,

we were like 20 years old

and with a bunch
of friends in college,

we made a musical called
"Alferd Packer: The Musical."

[ Cheers and applause ]

And I know there's some
people here tonight...

I know Jason's here,

I know Dian's here.

I don't know if Ian
and Alex are here.

I don't know if
Jon Hegel's here.

But we thought we'd do
one song from that tonight.

And even if you haven't seen it,

as a Coloradoan, I think
you can appreciate it

'cause it's about when
you lose your horse.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ She'll never know ♪

♪ What she meant to me ♪

♪ Whenever I was with her ♪

♪ I was always as
gentle as I could be ♪

♪♪

♪ And now I don't know why ♪

♪ But she's gone away ♪

♪♪

♪ And I'll just have to
stand on my own two legs ♪

♪ Your eyes, your smile ♪

♪ Made my little
life worthwhile ♪

♪ There's was
nothing I couldn't do ♪

♪♪

♪ When I was on top of you ♪

♪♪

♪ I'd pull her hair ♪

♪ And she'd know to stop ♪

♪ When she'd look behind her ♪

♪ I'd always be there ♪

♪ And now I don't know why ♪

♪ But she, she's gone ♪

♪ And all I can do ♪

♪ Is try to carry on ♪

♪ Your eyes, your smile ♪

♪ Made my little
life worthwhile ♪

♪ The sky was a lot more blue ♪

♪ When I was on top of you ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ When I was on top of you ♪

♪♪

Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ A child without an eye ♪

♪♪

♪ Made her mother cry ♪

♪ Why ask why? ♪

♪ She kept her child clean ♪

♪♪

♪ On Buckingham Green ♪

♪♪

♪ The children saw the eye ♪

♪♪

♪ As a sign from God ♪

♪ Descending from the sky ♪

♪ It was alright to dream ♪

♪♪

♪ Of Buckingham Green ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Summon the queen ♪

♪♪

♪ Spoke the child of eye ♪

♪ It's time to fly ♪

♪ Turning fire to steam ♪

♪♪

♪ On Buckingham Green ♪

♪♪

♪ A child without an eye ♪

♪♪

♪ Made her mother cry ♪

♪ Why ask why? ♪

♪ She kept her child clean ♪

♪♪

♪ On Buckingham Green ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

Jesus, Jesus Christ!

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

[ As Cartman ] How about
we sing "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch"

in B flat minor?

[ School bell ringing ]

Okay, children,
let's take our seats.

Uh, apparently, none of you
tried to get me fired yesterday,

so I guess we're just gonna have
to go on and learn more today.

Now who can tells me
what happens to water

when we heat it up
in the Bunsen burner?

- It evaporates.
- Good, Butters.

Now if we take the glass
tube of the Bunsen burner,

we can also see
how other things react.

Evaporation is an
exothermic reaction,

so let's look at an
endothermic one.

Mr. sl*ve, position 7 please.

Now I'm gonna put the glass
tube into Mr. sl*ve's tight ass.

The heat from
Mr. sl*ve's ass... Ahhhhh!

Will act as our new
conductor of energy. Oh, God.

[ Groans ]

Okay, now, Butters, could
you bring over Lemmiwinks

for me, please?

Sure!

[ Squeaking ]

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Thank you, Butters.

Now what do you think is
gonna happen when I introduce

the element of the gerbil
to the endothermic heat of

Mr. sl*ve's ass?

Well, let's see.

[ Groans ]

[ Squeaking ]

[ Groans ] Jesus! Jesus Christ!

[ Squeaking ]

♪♪

Lemmiwinks, you must find
your way out of this place,

or you will surely die.

Who am I? Just a friend.
Heed my words, Lemmiwinks.

Your time is running out.
Make for the large intestine.

All will be made clear there.

♪ A great adventure is
waiting for you ahead ♪

♪ Hurry onward, Lemmiwinks,
for you will soon be dead ♪

♪ The journey before you may
be long and filled with woe ♪

♪ But you must escape
the gay man's ass ♪

♪ So your tale can be told ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,
the voice of Mr. sl*ve,

Mr. John Hansen.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ Lemmiwinks' journey
is distant, far and vast ♪

♪ To find his way out
of a gay man's ass ♪

♪ The road ahead is filled
with danger and fright ♪

♪ But push onward, Lemmiwinks,
with all of your might ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks,
Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

Lemmiwinks, you are
coming to the entrance

of the small intestines.

There, you shall meet
the Sparrow Prince.

All shall be made
clear to you there.

[ Groans ] Jesus Christ!

[ Cheering ]

♪ The Sparrow Prince lies
somewhere way up ahead ♪

♪ Don't look back, Lemmiwinks,
or you'll soon be dead ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks,
the time is growing late ♪

♪ Slow down now,
and seal your fate ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

I am the Sparrow Prince.

Long has my spirit been
trapped in this place.

Before you lies the maze
of the small intestine.

One path leads to the stomach,
the other, to certain doom.

Take with you this
helmet and torch.

Let them be your guide.

Ooh, ooh.

Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!

Christ.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Take the magic helmet-torch
to help you light the way ♪

♪ There's still a lot of ground
to cross inside the man so gay ♪

♪ Ahead of you lies adventure ♪

♪ And your strength
still lies within ♪

♪ Freedom from the gay man's
ass is the treasure you will win ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks came
to the stomach dark ♪

♪ 'neath the depths
of the lungs and heart ♪

You choose your path
wisely, Lemmiwinks.

I am Catatafish.

♪ Catatafish of the
stomach's cove ♪

I will let you pass, Lemmiwinks,

but only if you
answer my riddle.

♪♪

♪ Catatafish's riddle
will soon be told ♪

Ooh-ooh, ah! Ah, ah, ah!

Ah, Jesus, Jesus,
Jesus, Jesus Christ!

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Cheers and applause continue ]

Please, just one more. Please.

Jesus Christ!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Lemmiwinks has made it out,
his journey is nearly through ♪

♪♪

[ As Frog ] Great
job, Lemmiwinks.

[ As Sparrow ] Thanks
to you we are all free!

[ As Catatafish ] But your
adventures are just beginning.

For you are no ordinary
gerbil, Lemmiwinks,

you are now the gerbil king!

♪♪

All hail the gerbil king!

All hail the gerbil king!

All hail the gerbil king!

♪ Now that you're
the gerbil king ♪

♪ There's more
adventures to go on ♪

♪ Fly away to faraway lands ♪

♪ And to the setting sun ♪

♪ There are still
so many enemies ♪

♪ And battles yet to fight ♪

♪ For Lemmiwinks
the gerbil king ♪

♪ To be told another night ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Gerbil king ♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ As Cartman ] Okay, what
should we sing now? Hmm.

Let's see.

We sang songs about my balls.

We sang songs about jacking off.

What other song
could we possibly sing?

Hmm.

I know!

How about we sing
"Kyle's Mom's a Bitch"

in B flat minor?

[ As Kyle ] Cartman, stop
calling my mom a bitch.

♪♪

♪ Well ♪

Don't you do it.

♪ Well ♪

Don't say it.

♪♪

♪ Well ♪ I'm warning you.

Okay, okay.

I'm so sick of him
calling my mom a bitch.

♪ Well ♪

♪ Kyle's mom is a bitch,
she's a big fat bitch ♪

♪ She's the biggest bitch
in the whole wide world ♪

♪ She's a mean ol' bitch
if there ever was a bitch ♪

♪ She's a bitch to all
the boys and girls ♪

♪♪

♪ On Monday she's a bitch,
on Tuesday she's a bitch ♪

♪ And Wednesday through
Saturday she's a bitch ♪

♪ Then on Sunday,
just to be different ♪

♪ She's a super King
Kamehameha bi-atch ♪

♪ Have you ever met
my friend Kyle's mom? ♪

♪ She's the biggest bitch
in the whole wide world ♪

♪ She's a mean ol' bitch
and she has stupid hair ♪

♪ She's a bitch, bitch, bitch,
bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch ♪

♪ Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
bitch, bitch, she's a stupid bitch! ♪

♪ Kyle's mom's a bitch
and she's just a dirty bitch ♪

♪ Talk to kids
around the world ♪

♪ And it might go a little
bit somethin' like this ♪

[ Singing Chinese gibberish ]

[ Singing French gibberish ]

[ Singing Dutch gibberish ]

[ Singing African language
gibberish ] ♪ Kyle's mom is a bitch ♪

♪ Have you ever met
my friend Kyle's mom? ♪

♪ She's the biggest bitch
in the whole wide world ♪

♪ She's a mean ol' bitch,
and she has stupid hair ♪

♪ She's a bitch, bitch, bitch,
bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch ♪

♪ Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
bitch, bitch, bitch, she's a stupid bitch ♪

♪ Kyle's mom's a bitch
and she's just a dirty bitch ♪

♪ I really mean it ♪

♪ Kyle's mom ♪

♪ She's a big
fat f*cking bitch ♪

♪ Big ol' fat f*cking
bitch, Kyle's mom! ♪

♪ Kyle's mom ♪

♪ Kyle's mom ♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ How 'bout some feces
with your flounder? ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ f*ck yeah ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ All shouting indistinctly ]

Wait. Wait just a second.

Now, we've got to think here.

Now, let's see. What
would Brian Boitano do?

Yeah, what would
Brian Boitano do?

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ What would Brian Boitano do ♪

♪ If he was here right now? ♪

♪ He'd make a plan,
and he'd follow through ♪

♪ That's what
Brian Boitano'd do ♪

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ When Brian Boitano
was in the Olympics ♪

♪ Skating for the gold ♪

♪ He did two Salchows
and a triple Lutz ♪

♪ Wearing a blindfold ♪

♪ When Brian Boitano
was in the Alps ♪

♪ Fighting grizzly bears ♪

♪ He used his
magical fire breath ♪

♪ To save the maidens fair ♪

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ So what would
Brian Boitano do ♪

♪ If he was here today? ♪

♪ I'm sure he'd
kick an ass or two ♪

♪ That's what
Brian Boitano'd do ♪

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ When Brian Boitano
traveled through time ♪

♪ To the year 3010 ♪

♪ He fought the
evil robot king ♪

♪ And saved us all again ♪

♪ When Brian Boitano
built the pyramids ♪

♪ He b*at up Kublai Khan ♪

♪ 'Cause Brian Boitano
doesn't take sh*t from anybody ♪

No, Brian!

Those chicken
wings are really spicy!

Do not eat those!

♪♪

♪ I've never seen a man
eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man
eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man
eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man
eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man
eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man
eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man
eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ Brian Boitano was born ♪

♪ On the planet of Kryluck ♪

♪ He came to
Earth to save us all ♪

♪ From w*r and death and suck ♪

♪ Hi-de-lo-dee-hi-dee-lay ♪

♪ Brian Boitano's here ♪

♪ So round up all your lasses ♪

♪ And tell them
to have no fear! ♪

♪ Say, come over
here, my honey ♪

♪ And you're gonna
take off my pants ♪

♪ And I'm gonna
make dirty love to you ♪

♪ 'Cause that's what
Brian Boitano'd do! ♪

♪♪

♪ 'Cause that's what
Brian Boitano'd do! ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Munching ]

[ Man singing in Spanish ]

Okay, here you go, amigo.

Another taco plate
and the taquitos.

Oh, thank you.

And did I mention I am
a food critic for Yelp?

Yes, you mentioned
that several times.

Okay, I just didn't want
you caught off guard.

I was thinking of giving
this place five stars.

Really?

Yeah, but I'm kind of teetering
on five stars or one star.

Oh no, no. No one star,
please. What can we do to...

I mean, I could
probably be persuaded

with some free desserts.

Let me get that for you.

Great. And could you
turn down the music a bit?

This pagan sh*t hurts my ears.

Of course. [ Crunches ]

Hi, two of us for lunch, please.

Yes, right away.

Oh, and I just
wanted to mention that

my wife and I are
Yelp reviewers,

so, uh, your best table, please.

Oh, geez, you guys, too, huh?

Okay, I'll get you set
up right over here, okay?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm. This place seems nice.

I guess we'll see.

I guess we'll see, won't we?

Oh, God. Now everyone
thinks they're a food critic.

♪♪

Do we have any Yelp
reviewers in the audience?

[ Cheers and applause ]

'Cause you know that
they do to your food, right?

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ So you're one of
Yelper's special blessed ♪

♪ You demand a
restaurant's very best ♪

♪ Well, they're gonna
treat you special ♪

♪ I'm telling you, chum ♪

♪ Now get yourself ready
for some boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ That's called
the Yelper special ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Hey, what's that
on your pretzel? ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ Your
online critiques are real useful to some ♪

♪ Now have a good time
eating boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Someone farted on your salad ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ But all your
critiques are valid ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ You think
you're special like you're A-number one ♪

♪ Well, there's a whole lot of
special in boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ How 'bout some feces
with your flounder? ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ You like that queefy
quarter pounder? ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ What's that
spice that's all tangy on your tongue? ♪

♪ That's yuzu pepper ♪

♪ And boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪ Look,
we got a Yelp reviewer right here.

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

Come on out here, guy.

♪ They're gonna
jack off in your food ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ They're gonna wipe their ass ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ And put it in your food ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Along with a whole
lot of boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Hey, being a
food critic's easy ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Oh, you feel
a little queasy? ♪

♪ Do you need a diagnosis? ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ 'Cause the doctor's got one ♪

♪ Your stomach's all filled
with boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Piss in your potatoes ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Some guy's sh*t
on your tomato ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ Alright,
fancy food critic, looks like you've won ♪

♪ Now please enjoy all
the booo-hooo-gerrrs ♪

[ Crowd cheers ]

♪ Booo-hooo-gerrrs ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Booo-hooo-gerrrs ♪

♪ Aaand cuuum ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
♪ ♪ Aaand cuuum ♪

♪ Enjoy your boogers and cum ♪

You guys, thank you so much.

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

This has been so much fun.
We've had such a good time.

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

We want to give a
big, big thank you...

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
♪ ...to our lady singers.

Thank you, ladies!

[ Cheers and applause ]

And, you guys, a huge,
huge thank you to Ween.

Thank you so much
for being here, you guys.

Glenn McClelland
on keys back there.

Claude Coleman on drums.

Dave Dreiwitz on bass.

Bruce Howell on guitar.

[ Speaks indistinctly
] filling in for me.

Bekon on synth and
keys back there, Bekon.

And a very big thank you to
Primus for being here tonight.

Tim Alexander on drums.

Kind of cool.

Tim Alexander on drums,

Larry LaLonde,

and of course Les Claypool.

[ Cheers and applause ]

- Thank you!
- Thank you!

We love you. Thank you.

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ America ♪

♪ f*ck yeah ♪

♪ So lick my butt
and suck on my balls ♪

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering continues ]

Oh, geez, we have
nothing else prepared.

[ Chuckles ]

We did forget to sing
the National Anthem.

We hope maybe you
can help us sing this.

♪♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America, f*ck yeah! ♪

♪ Coming again to save
the m*therf*cking day, yeah ♪

♪ America, f*ck yeah! ♪

♪ Freedom is the
only way, yeah ♪

♪ t*rrorists, your
game is through ♪

♪ 'Cause now you have
to answer to America ♪

♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

♪ So lick my butt
and suck on my balls ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

♪ Whatcha gonna do when
they come for you now? ♪

♪ It's the dream
that we all share ♪

♪ It's the hope for tomorrow ♪

♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Ahhh ♪

- ♪ McDonald's ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Walmart ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Turkey ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Baseball ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ NFL ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

-♪ Rock and roll
♪ -♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Slurpees ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

That's right.

♪♪

♪♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

Bruce Howell is not
only an amazing guitarist,

he also does all the sound
design on "South Park."

Let's go, Bruce.

♪♪

♪♪

Let's here it for Dean Ween.

Dean!

♪♪

♪♪

Alright. Great American
hero Larry LaLonde.

♪♪

♪♪

And last but not
least, Mr. Les Claypool.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ And on the boats
and on the planes ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

Gene Ween!

♪ Every time that
flag's unfurled ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

f*ck yeah!

-♪ My country tis of
thee ♪ -♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

-♪ Sweet land of liberty
♪ -♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

-♪ Of thee I sing
♪ -♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

-♪ Of thee I sing
♪ -♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

♪♪

♪ t*rrorists, your
game is through ♪

♪ 'Cause now you have
to answer to America ♪

♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

♪♪

♪ America ♪

♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, America!

You know that "South Park"
can only happen in America right?

f*ck yeah!

[ Cheering ]

♪ Ahhhh ♪

- ♪ Starbucks ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

-♪ Disney World
♪ -♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ p*rn ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah ♪

- ♪ Reeboks ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Big tits ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Sushi ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Taco Bell ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

-♪ Chicken nuggets
♪ -♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

f*ck yeah, chicken nuggets.

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, Colorado!

Thanks to everyone for coming.

Especially for all of you in...

- ♪ Lakewood ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Littleton ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Aurora ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Evergreen ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Conifer ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Fort Collins ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Boulder ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Estes Park ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

-♪ Steamboat Springs
♪ -♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

- ♪ Aspen ♪
- ♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

-♪ Cherry Creek
♪ -♪ f*ck yeah! ♪

♪ Colorado f*cking Springs ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Thank you!

[ Cheering ]

Thanks so much.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I'm going down to South
Park, gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

[ As Cartman ] ♪ Ample
parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

♪ Going down to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

[Muffled] ♪ I love
girls with big fat titties ♪

♪ I love girls
with deep vaginas ♪

♪ So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪
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