02x13 - Would You Wrather Have a World Record?

[bunniefuu]

Hey, Wratherheads!


Today's live stream is made possible
by our sponsor,


Gary's House of Used Suits.


And it's not just suits.


Gary says he also has a jean jacket,


pleated khakis, and a rhinestone belt.


If it's in his closet, it's yours.


Okay, that's sad.


Now, let's get to it.


Would you rather have to be
a human mannequin for an hour?


-Or be a human marionette?
-(beeps)


I know what you're all asking.


He's cute, but can he dance?


Well, the answer is, he cancan.


(cancan music playing)


I'm alive! I'm alive!


(music stops)


-(chimes)
-And you guys chose mannequins.


What?


I gave up three Saturdays
teaching this kid


how to cancan, and you pick the other one?


Fred, it's okay.


Knowing how to cancan has made me a better
man-man.


Anyway, looks like we all have to
be mannequins.


Ready?


-Freeze!
-(gate opens)


Should I even ask?


We can't move.


We have to be mannequins.


Wait, so,


you guys aren't allowed
to move at all? (chuckles)


-That's right.
-Hmm.


Now let's adjust the camera,
so the Wratherheads


get the very best view.


Maybe this wasn't the greatest idea.


Ya think?


(theme song playing)


Would you rather lose your phone


Or give up pizza for a month?


Share your diary with the world


Or have to eat it for your lunch?


Sing out of tune to your friends


Or trip and fall into your crush?


Shave your head, paint it red


Or use your dog's toothbrush?


We need a little Q and A


Come on, Wratherheads, play along


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do that?


Would you rather do that?


Don't matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?


Or would you rather just dance?


Or would you rather just dance?


No matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!


Would you rather do that?


(playing "Fur Elise")


Ollie, you've gotten so good.


Like one-day-playing- in-a-subway-station-
for-spare-change good?


Mm, a mother can dream.


I'm off to the rink to meet Dixon.


-You two have been hanging out a lot.
-And?


No, he's sweet.


You just usually go for
the more academic types.


For your information,
Jonathan is very smart.


(phone jingling)


Mm. Hey, Jonathan.


Dixon (over phone):
Charlotte, I'm at the rink.


Do you have the key
to the vending machine?


I got my head stuck again.


I'll be right there. (sighs)


-(door opens)
-Coop: Hey.


-Dixon got his head stuck--
-Yes, I've been informed. Thank you.


Ollie, let's go.


We've got a great idea for our
next Would You Wrather.


No, uh-uh. Ollie is practicing.


I don't want you using him for any more
Would You Wrathers


until after his recital Saturday. Got it?


Mom, why are you punishing him?


I'm not.


Unlike you two, Ollie actually likes
the piano, and Mrs. Krause.


-Ugh! Mrs. Krause.
-The dragon lady.


She's not so bad.
She gives me peppermints.


You two just hated that she called you out
for never practicing.


No, no. I hated when she put her teeth


on the piano during my lesson.


Well, she loves Ollie,


and he's been practicing hard,
so I want no distractions.


("Fur Elise" continues)


Hear that? He's happy,


I'm happy, and you have to admit,


it makes the house feel a little classy.


(belches)


Sorry. Chili fries.


-(Ollie continues playing)
-I said, "A little classy."


-Hey, Fred.
-Hey.


How's Dixon doing?


He's fine. He's out there
reffing the pee-wee game right now.


You know, people get their heads stuck
in vending machines


-all the time. (chuckles)
-Do they?


Hey, Fred. And Charlotte.


Sweet, sad Charlotte.


You good? You hangin' in there?


I... think so.


That's the spirit.


I'm gonna buy you a lemonade.
Would you like that?


I... guess so?


Then that is what you're getting.


-What was that about?
-What? She's just being friendly.


Here. Some tissues while you wait.
Remember,


crying can wash away the pain.


Okay, fine. I was supposed to meet Neve


at Coaster Planet, but I bailed.


Roller coasters give me motion sickness,
and I didn't want her to know.


Get to the part on why
I need to cry away the pain.


I may have told her
the reason I couldn't go


was because you confessed
your undying love to me,

and I had to stay home
and let you down gently.


What?


How long does it take
to get a lemonade? Geez.


Why couldn't you just say
you had a stomachache?


Oh! That would have been
a better way to go.


So now Neve feels sorry for me,
because I'm in love with you,


but you don't feel the same?


-I like you, I just don't like-like you.
-Fred!


(sighs) Please promise
you won't say anything.


(sighs) Fine. I promise.


Hey. They didn't have what you wanted,


but they did have milk.


Yes, I know you had
your heart set on lemonade,


and who could blame you?


It's clearly the cooler, sweeter,


-more handsome choice.
-(clicks tongue)


But that doesn't mean that you can't find


happiness with milk.


Drink up, kiddo.


Coop (yelling): Cami!


-Cami, you gotta hear this.
-(music plays over phone)


Man (sadly, over phone):
Gary's House of Used Suits


We still have a lot of suits


And that pair of khakis


Not that. Uh...


DJ (over radio): Hey, North Plains.
We're back,


on The Morning Swarm
with Buzzer and the Bee.


If you're just tuning in,
we have Thor Munson,


author of Munson's Weird
and Amazing World Records.


He'll be in the studio
all the way until noon.


Oh, yeah, I love that book!


DJ (over phone):
And anyone who is up for it


is invited to come show Thor
their weird and amazing talent,


and try to get themselves
in his legendary book.


-We're gonna be world record breakers!
-Yeah, we are!


At what?


-I don't know.
-But we grew up


-worshiping the people in those books.
-I know.


And getting the Wrather name
in there would be insane.


We just need an angle.


(Ollie belches loudly)


Ollie: Felt that one in my toes!


I think we just found our angle.


-What's up?
-We need you to come with us,


and burp as loud as you can
in front of a strange man.


That does sound intriguing.


Ollie isn't going anywhere.


Mom, Thor Munson is gonna be
at the radio station until noon.


This is our chance to have the family name
live on for eternity.


Imagine it-- whenever someone belches,


-they'll think of the Wrathers.
-Well, they already do.


Sorry, Ollie has his recital today,
remember?


Well, maybe we should let him decide.


-Burping?
-Or piano.


Hmm. Two very compelling arguments.


Ollie, go put our tie on.


Listen, you two.
He wants to do the recital.


End of discussion.


-Sort of sounds like he's on the fence.
-He's not!


Ollie looks up to you, so he would
never want to let you down,


but today is important to him.


So stop being selfish,
and let him have this.


Ollie clearly wants to do this with us


but is scared of letting her down.


Maybe if we can find a way to make sure


Ollie is one of the first ones
to perform at the recital,


we can still make it to the station


-before noon.
-Great!


Uh, but let's swing by Gary's first.


I really wanna try on those khakis.


Okay, two veggie burgers.


Thank you, Charlotte.


-Charlotte: Mm-hmm.
-Neve: Hmm.


Seems like anyone could have brought us
our burgers,


but funny how it turned out to be you.


-Excuse me?
-Neve: Look,


I tried to be nice,
but it's time you move on.


I see you starin' at my man
like he's a snack.


Neve, don't blame her.


I wore a form-fitting tee
that shows off my arms. (chuckles)


I'm sorry, Charlotte.


I'm gonna go now.


(whistle trills)


Two minutes for being cute.


You're the cute one, especially in those
pinstripes.


Neve: Wow.


Is there a boy in this rink
that you don't have a crush on?


-What's she talking about?
-Uh, anyone else need to layer up?


Feels a bit chilly in here. (chuckles)


Nice hoodie. A LeFranz.
Those are expensive.


Isn't it great? Charlotte gave it to me
for Christmas.


I mean, I found it.


Okay. This ends now.


You and him are not happenin'. We clear?


I'm actually not clear at all.


I can explain everything.


Why would you buy that dude
a hoodie for Christmas?


We were dating by then.


Remember? You helped
pull my head out of that turkey.


Yeah, that was a weird way
for you to meet my mom.


-(horn blows)
-I gotta get back to reffing.


Fine. Like I said, I'll explain later.
Just know,


there's nothing between me and Fred.


You trust me?


If I didn't trust you, would I do this?


-(gasps)
-(thuds)


I forgot to tell you to catch me. (coughs)


Why'd we have to come an hour early?


Judy Vanderwiesen.


-That's why.
-(thuds)


Emily's mom?


That's her.


The six foot two Viking
who's tortured me for years.


At every school play,
soccer game and recital,


she manages to wedge
herself in front of me,


so all I can record is the back of her
big, blond head.


I've seen the videos.
She has magnificent hair.

Thank you.


But today, Judy is going down,


because I have claimed
the primo recording spot.


Victory is mine!


Urgh! Ooh. Ooh!


Yep, I just pulled something.


Wow. That is a big piano.


-You a little nervous, buddy?
-Shut it! You are!


Easy! Don't worry, it'll all be over soon.


I need to find the bathroom.


I think it's in another building.


Then I guess we're playing
"b*at the clock."


Okay. (sighs)


Here are the new programs
I printed with Ollie going first.


You toss out the old ones,
while I lay out these.


This is genius!


But what if Mrs. Krause realizes someone
messed with the order?


She won't. The woman's,
like, years old.


Three-hundred and ten, actually.


(yelps)


At least she has her teeth in.


I remember you two little monsters.


If you wanted to adjust
Oliver's performance order,


why didn't you just ask?


I'd be happy to move him.


To dead last.


Hey.


(people chattering softly)


I need you guys to guard my spot
while I go to the bathroom.


Mom, there's barely anyone here.


That's exactly what Judy
wants you to think!


Stay alert, and show no fear.


Cami, I'm looking at you.
Cooper will crumble like a soft cookie.


That seemed like an unnecessary sh*t.


Well, no way we can make it to the station


now that Ollie's going last.


There's kids!


So assuming each kid
goes for four minutes, that's...


Three days?


-Two hours.
-Two hours!


(sighs) The world record dream is dead.


First, I want the name
of your math teacher.


Second...


there's another way,
but it could be dangerous.


(scoffs) I laugh in the face of danger.


Ha-ha-ha! Aah!


Come on.


Hey. You find the bathroom?


Bathroom, potted plant.
What's the difference?


So, good news.


We found out a way where you can
burp yourself into the record books,


and be back here in time
to play your little song.


But Mrs. Krause says
we need to sit back here and stay focused.


Ollie, it's fine.
You won't get in trouble.


This is gonna be fun.


Cami: What's wrong?
You wanna do this, right?


Sure.


Great. Then let's go.


And what do we have here?


Just clearing some instruments
out of the way


to make room for the kids.


Now why would someone
have punched air holes


in this cello case?


'Cause?


I'm a cello! Honk.


Oh, sweet boy.


Take a peppermint and get out of there.


It appears your nasty siblings
are trying to lead you


down a wicked path.


Did you ever get peppermints?


-No.
-Me, neither.


Cami.


Uh, Judy.


You're actually in my spot.


Oh, hello, Jenna!


You remember my husband,


and my two nieces?


Charlotte, I'm sorry for dragging you
into the topsy-turvy whirlwind


that is my love life.


You should be!


Now I have to do a whole bunch
of explaining to Dixon,


and he's not easy to explain to.


Here. I want you to have this.


The LeFranz hoodie I gave you?


I know you love it.


And since you're doing
something nice for me,


I wanted to do something nice for you.


Plus Neve said I'm not allowed
to wear it ever again.


Thank you, Fred.


But you need to fix this thing with Neve.


I know. But if you can just
cover for a little bit longer,


I'll figure it out.


But remember, if she asks,
your pet name for me is Freddy McMuscles.


Welcome home, LeFranz hoodie.


I dreamed we'd be together one day.


-(whistle trills)
-Penalty!


Rubbing your face on
another dude's hoodie.


-Oh, no. Jonathan, I was just...
-Hey, Dixon. Have you seen Fred?


-What are you doing with Fred's hoodie?
-Guys, it's nothing. He gave it to me.


He gave it to you?


And she was rubbing it
on her cheek, like this.


(mockingly) "Oh, I dreamed
we'd be together.


I love you. I wanna marry you."


I did not say...


all of those things.


Oh, would you look at that?
Break time. (chuckles)


Where'd she go?


(playing a simple melody)


I'm just saying, stealing a person's spot
after they've saved it...


(scoffs) well, that's just selfish.


I can hear you, you know.


Good. That's why I said it.


Don't worry, bud.


We're gonna get you in that record book.


Cami's working right now
to make it happen.


-Coop?
-What?


-Never mind.
-(phone chimes)


She's back.


Stay here.


Oh. Fifteen minutes, Oliver.


Oh, I must say, you do not look relaxed.


(sighs) My brother and sister want me
to focus on something else.


I see.


Well, what would you like to do?


I don't know.


I just know I don't want to let them down.


Oliver, you're a sweet boy,
and a loyal brother,


but you need to do what's best for you.


(chuckles softly)


So what happened?


I went to the station,


and got to see Thor Munson himself.


I told him he needs to hear
our brother burp,


but since Ollie can't come to him,


-he needs to come to Ollie.
-And what'd he say?


He said, "Get away from me,"
and then called security!


So why are we using our excited voices?


'Cause one of Thor's
world record officials


saw me kicking a security guard
and recognized me!


Turns out, his kids are huge fans of
Would You Wrather,


and he agreed to come measure
Ollie's burp! (gasps)


Ollie, this man is Mr. Donnelly.


He's gonna put this device on you


that will help measure
the level of your burps.


Oh, I'm sorry. Are we bothering you?


My daughter's a huge fan of yours, Ollie.


Let me see that lapel.


Uh-oh. Sally just hit the wrong note.


Ollie, focus. Mr. Donnelly's
a very busy man.


Okay. Whenever you're ready, let it rip.


It is time, Ollie.


Fill the room with your glorious gut gas.


I really feel like
you're judging me again.


Okay.


(burps)


Um, he just needs to warm up.


Here. Have some fizzy water.


Here we go. Blow the roof off, Ollie.


(burps)


-What was that?
-Mrs. Krause: Oliver, you're up next.


Maybe this isn't a good time.


-No! He's got this. More water.
-Come on.


Enough! There's too much stuff
going on in my brain!


I can't take it! I quit everything!


What does he have that I don't?


Is it his side part?
'Cause I can side part.


It's not his side part.


His calves. It's probably his calves.


It's not his calves!


Fred?


Get back here now, please.


Congratulations.


You be good to her.


And Fred,


every once in a while,
stick your head in a turkey.


(sniffs) She likes that.


Guys, there's no reason to get upset.


Really? Because you giving Charlotte
your hoodie


seems like a good reason.


-I'm leaving.
-Me, too.


Wait! I lied.


Charlotte's not in love with me.
Neve, I just told you that story


to get out of going
to the roller coaster park.


I get motion sickness on roller coasters,
and I didn't want you to find out.


I also didn't want to throw up on you.


So instead, you lied to me?


I know. I'm sorry.


And Charlotte only went along with it
because she's a good friend.


-Neve, I know you're mad, but--
-I'm not mad.


I'm really mad, and hurt.


I don't like being lied to.


And this isn't the first time, Fred.


-Neve, I ju--
-I think we should take a break.


I really am sorry.


I know, but... it's not enough.


Goodbye, Fred.


Charlotte. (sighs) I just want you to know


that I would puke
all over a roller coaster


before I would ever, ever lie to you.


Aw. (giggles) Jonathan.


Hey, Ollie.


Ollie's not here.


We just wanna talk.


Sorry I couldn't burp for you.


I guess I have a lot on my mind.


Also, Ollie's not here.


Forget about us.


We didn't mean for you to freak out.


Coop: Yeah.

We thought this was
something you were into.


But, obviously, this recital
is important to you.


I like playing piano.


Mom told us that,


and we didn't listen.


There's nothing wrong
with you liking something.


But you both were putting it down.


Well, that's only because


we were never any good at piano.


Don't listen to us.


But I always listen to you guys.


Yeah. You do.


And we let you down today.


We shouldn't have been focused
on breaking a record.


We should have been supporting you.


You worked really hard on your piece,


and we know you can crush it out there.


And we'll be right there in the audience
to cheer you on.


Wanna give this recital another try?


Yeah. Thanks, you guys.


(piano playing slow, simple melody)


(applauding)


(sighs) Great job,
whoever just played that.


Where you do think you're going?


Oh, I actually
don't have a child here, so--


No one leaves my recital
until it's complete.


Take your seat immediately.


Excuse me, but I have to get back to my--


Yes, ma'am.


(applauding)


(clears throat)


Cough drop?


Achoo! Ooh.


-Sorry. Been fighting something.
-(huffs)


-Tissues are in the bathroom.
-(Judy huffs)


(playing "Fur Elise")


Wow. He's really good.


He sure is.


(applauding)


(belching loudly)


(belch ends)


(audience murmuring)


I've never been so proud of my baby.


He's the world's greatest.


He belongs to history now.


Aah!


You gonna be okay?


I can't believe I messed this up.


Hey, Neve said, "Take a break,"
not "we're through."


This isn't necessarily over.


Yeah. You just need to think positive.


You know what always picks me up?


Corn chips. I'm gonna go get you some.


Oh! How sweet is he?


(giggles, gasps)


Oh, no. He's going to the vending machine.


-(clattering)
-Dixon: Charlotte? A little help, please?


I swear, this happens to other people.


Coop: Ha-ha-ha! Aah!