02x17 - Would You Wrather Lose Your Bestie?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Coop and Cami Ask the World". Aired: October 12, 2018 – September 11, 2020.*
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Series follows two middle school-age siblings whose main source of decision making is crowdsourcing opinions from their millions of online followers.
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02x17 - Would You Wrather Lose Your Bestie?

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, Wratherheads.


Today's "Would You Wrather"
is all about outdoor living.


And to make things more fun,
our outdoor furniture is also living.


If anyone drops loose change in me,
I keep it.


So, would you rather be a human chair,
or a human dining table?


Hello. I'm a table.


And you're clearly running low on ideas.


No one likes a table that talks back.


(clangs)


Fred (muffled): Hurry up and vote.
My arms are getting tired.


You heard the table. Pick a choice.


Mm! Had a big breakfast, did we?


And table wins.


More like Ollie wins.


Off me, woman!


Get ready, Fred.


Fred (muffled): I'm a table.
This is as ready as I'm gonna get.


Hey, Mom! Come on out here and join us
for a little outdoor meal!


Fred (muffled): It's called al fresco.


-(clangs)
-Ow!


Wow! What an interesting table setting.
What's in here?


-Hello.
-Aah!


Well, don't just stand there.
I worked hard on this meal. Dig in.


Okay, I'm just gonna say it.
You kids are weird.


Hey! No one walks away from a Fred meal.


(clattering and clanging)


(crashing)


Fred: Ow! My yams!


[c.fontcenter](theme song playing)[/c]


Would you rather lose your phone


Or give up pizza for a month?


Share your diary with the world


Or have to eat it for your lunch?


Sing out of tune to your friends


Or trip and fall into your crush?


Shave your head, paint it red


Or use your dog's toothbrush?


We need a little Q and A


Come on, Wratherheads, play along


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do that?


Would you rather do that?


Don't matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?


Or would you rather just dance?


Or would you rather just dance?


No matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!


Would you rather do that?


-Hi, Cami.
-Hey, Delaware.


Oh, no. Is the girls' toilet
out of order again?


Seriously, Madison?
Stop flushing your bad report cards.


No, I'm practicing a fun activity
I found for us to do.


Sunrise power-walking.


We can meet every morning at five,
and walk like maniacs!


You do know what fun means, right?


Come on! I tried it with my grandma,
and we had a blast.


We talked. We bonded.


Turns out we both like
peppermints and Lizzo.


Delaware, you're my best friend.


And I love that you found
something for us to do.


-Yay!
-But I prefer sleeping.


Boo!


Uh-oh. Here comes Pam.


She's been acting really weird lately.


-How so?
-She's been... Mm...


Nice.


Good morning!


Good morning? What a weirdo!


Maybe Pam realized
how mean she's been lately


and wants a fresh start.
People can change.


Yes, "people" can. But Pam's not "people."


She's a pint-sized demon
sent from the bowels of the underworld.


More walking practice?


No. Now I really do need
to use the bathroom.


Out of my way! Move!


Ugh, I hate shopping at Henricksen's.


All those greedy people knocking me
out of the way to get a deal.


-I love a bargain!
-(thuds)


Here. Cooper, don't forget
your new tighty-whities.


Sweet! The cavalry has arrived. (chuckles)


Generic brand?
I won't be borrowing any of these.


I have no problem with that.


Ollie: What's with all this toilet paper?


Are you making
your "famous meatloaf" again?


That's mine.


I grabbed it while you guys
were entering the weekly drawing.


What drawing?


The store raffle.
They're announcing the winner tonight,


so we each put
one of your business cards into the bin


to up our chances of winning.


The winner gets to pick
from this list of prizes.


There's a laptop, a foot spa--


-A giant trampoline!
-Wait.


What were you doing
with my business cards?


-Bookmark.
-Making paper airplanes.


Blowing my nose.


Well, I would love a foot spa.
But these drawings are a total scam.


They just take your information,
and put you on a mailing list.


(sneezes)


Business card.


(blows, sighs)


(cell phone ringing)


Hello? This is Jenna Wrather.

I'm sorry. What?


(laughs): You're kidding!


That is so fantastic. Thank you!


Yeah. I will stop in this week.


Thanks again.


(mouthing scream)


Was that them? Did we win?


No...


-Hey, Delaware.
-I hope you're not still upset


'cause I didn't want to go
power-walking with you.


Of course not! Plus, I found someone else
who loves it as much as I do.


-That's great! Who?
-Hey, Cami!


Did Delaware tell you about the sunrise
we saw this morning?


It was like a magical orange pumpkin
rising toward the heavens.


I stared at it so long,


I got clipped by a street sweeper.


I'm gonna be on the news!


Ooh, that reminds me.


I picked up
our aerodynamic power-walking glasses!


(both squeal)


Both: What do you think?
Jinx!


Double jinx. Triple jinx!


What am I looking at?


Come on. Let's go try these out.


Both: See you, Cami!
Jinx!


Double jinx! Triple jinx!


Delaware!


How could you befriend my sworn enemy?


I know Pam's been a nightmare for you
in the past,


but I have to say, she's really nice now.


Oh, no. She's gotten to you.


She's reached into your soul
and took control of your brain!


Don't worry, Delaware! I'll get you back!


Cami, stop. I'm fine.


Look, it might seem like Pam has changed,


but my gut tells me


this is all part of her plan
to take me down.


-Hey, guys.
-Not today, demon!


Cami may still have
some trust issues with you.


(hissing)


Cami, I know we've had our differences,
but I want to put all that behind us.


So, here. I got you this peace offering.


Aw!


Let me guess. I open it, something
will jump out, or blow up in my face?


Sorry! Not falling for it.


-(stomping)
-(smashing)


Cami, what are you doing?


Hang on, Delaware!
Gotta put a little more heel into it.


-(shattering)
-(music box chiming)


What is this?


A music box
with a little ballerina inside.


Because you like to dance.


Wait. So it really was a gift?


Yeah, but I... I get it.


I've been really mean to you.


I'd have a hard time trusting me, too.


Happy, Cami?
You broke the ballerina's legs off.


Those were her money makers!


Quick question.
Would it be cool if I grew a mullet?


Both: No.


Hey, Mom.


-What's in the bag?
-(scoffs)


Can't a woman go shopping without getting
the third degree?


Oh, great. She's in one of her moods.


No.


That look means she's hiding something.


What is it? Cookies! Ice cream!


What kind of twisted game are you playing?


-What are you hiding, Mom?
-A prize, perhaps?


(sighs)


Get her!


Okay!


I went to Henricksen's to pick up
the prize because I won the drawing.


I knew it! Why didn't you tell us?


Because I never win anything.


I got so excited I wanted
to pick out the prize myself.


You got the laptop, right?


Of course not. She's a sensible woman.


Clearly, there's a trampoline in that bag.


-What is it?
-I want to see!


Should I grow a mullet?


The foot spa?


(all groan)


I'm sorry!


But to be fair, they did choose
my business card,


so technically,
I should be the one to pick.


Uh, it was my idea to enter the contest.


But I was the one who said we should each
put a card in to up our chances.


Slow your roll, Slim.


I folded Mom's card so it would stick out.


-So everyone can--
-Hey, listen here--


(all arguing)


Mom?


Okay, fine. I'll return it to the store.


But the prize we exchange it for


has to be something
that benefits everyone.


Exactly! So we'll get the laptop.


No, we'll get the trampoline.


Cooper, you guys are always
hogging the good laptop for your show,


and the rest of us have
to use that ancient relic.


That's a year old.


I think my point is made.


I'm Team Coop. A trampoline sounds fun.


Plus a carefree photo of me in midair


would be the perfect August pose
for my calendar,

"The Months of Fred."


You are not helping our cause.


Okay, Ollie. You agree with me, right?


A new laptop can store hundreds of videos
to fry your tiny little brain with!


You sure know how to charm me. Fry me up!


It's an even split. What do we do?


Jenna: How about...


each team puts together a presentation
showing how their prize benefits everyone.


I'll pick the best one,
and we'll get that prize. Deal?


Coop and Charlotte: Deal.


-Come on, Ollie. Let's go brainstorm.
-You've seen my report card.


I think you'll want
to fly solo on this one.


Now I can definitely find out
what you're up to.


Hello, Camilla.


You know that's not my name.


I don't think I know
anything about you anymore.


Can I sit here?


Is that the controller
for your spy-copter?


Uh...


I... I saw you on the news last night.


You looked great! Is that a fresh bob?


You're spying on Pam?


What? No. That's crazy.


If this thing was controlling a copter,
would I do this?


-(crashing)
-Cami.


I mean, seriously.


What kind of irresponsible person


would aimlessly fly that thing
around the school on its own?


(students chattering and yelling)


(whirring)


k*ller copter! Save yourselves!


Aah!


(splatters)


So, your new bob. Are you loving it?


Delaware. I...
I'll go get some more napkins.


Cami, I can't take it anymore.


Your paranoia has gone way too far.


I'm sorry. But I'm telling you,
Pam is still evil.


You have to trust my gut on this one.


No, I don't. Because I have
my own gut feeling


that Pam has changed.


And if you were truly my best friend,


you would trust my feeling
once in a while, too.


-Delaware, I--
-But maybe that was my mistake


for thinking that we were best friends.


Hey, guys,
how's the presentation coming along?


I'd say it's coming along perfectly.


Wouldn't you agree, Jenna?


He's trying to subconsciously trick you
into picking the trampoline.


Fred, I told you. We don't need gimmicks.


Our presentation already has
what it takes to win:


my irresistible charm.


Yeah, you might need a gimmick.


Great idea, Ollie!


I mean, nothing. Never mind.


Well, well, well. If it isn't
Laptop Lizzie and her little mouse.


I hope you didn't work too hard,
because our trampoline presentation


is gonna bounce yours to the curb.


(scoffs)
Yeah, well our lap "top" presentation


is going to lap yours to the bottom.


Is it too late to switch teams?


-Hey. You okay, sweetie?
-I feel like I'm losing my best friend.


Well, I have been busy,
but I always try to be there for you.


Not you. Delaware.


Pam's been using her just to get to me.


-How?
-By being nice, and becoming her friend.


-(gasps): She's a demon.
-That's what I said!


But every time I try and blow her cover,
Delaware thinks I'm the mean one.


Hmm. Well, it sounds to me


like you should be focusing less on Pam
and more on what's really important.


Your friendship with Delaware.


Well, yeah, but if this is really part
of Pam's plan, then she'll win.


Cami, there are more important things
in life than winning.


Okay, now you're just talking crazy.


Well, if you don't believe me,
go ask the Wratherheads.


Sometimes, I know what I'm talking about.


(sighs)


(beeps)


Hey, Wratherheads. I have a question.


Would you rather listen to your gut,
even if it means losing your best friend,


or risk looking like a fool
to keep your best friend.


-(dings)
-Wow.


"Risk looking like a fool" by a landslide.


Thanks, Wratherheads.


Cami, I saw your live stream,


and I just want you to know,
you can never lose me as a best friend.


(gasps): Hug-sies!

Hey!


Look who doesn't have chili all over them!


What do you want, Cami?


I want to apologize.


I spent so much time trying to figure out
what Pam was up to,


I let it get in the way of our friendship.


I'm listening.


I'm still not sure about Pam,


but you're more important.


So, if you really believe
that she is nice now,


I'll just have to put
my feelings to the side,


and try to be friends with her.


Really? Thanks, Cami!


-Uck.
-What's the matter?


You still smell like beef.


-Hey. What's going on?
-Great news.


Cami wants to be friends with you.
Right, Cami?


Mm-hmm.


So does this mean you're gonna
sunrise power-walk with us?


Mm-hmm.


Yay! (gasps)


Ooh, you know what we should get?


Matching sneakers!


But the other day, when I suggested
we wear matching sneakers,


-you said you didn't--
-But this is a special moment,


'cause Cami and I
are becoming friends again!


Okay, I guess matching sneakers it is!


Yay! See you buds at dawn.


(squeaks): Mm-hmm!


Okay, guys.
You've got one sh*t to wow me.


Make it good, or you're gone.


Ha ha ha ha ha!


I love this bit. We should settle
more family decisions like this.


We'll go first.


That way we can set the bar so high
these chumps won't even come close.


I was supposed to bring a bar?


We're here to discuss
the positive impact that a laptop can have


on the behavioral growth
of an impressionable young child.


Now, if you'll direct your attention
to the lines on this pie chart, then we--


-Both (chanting): Trampoline! Trampoline!
-Quiet!


Let's move on to the video.


(music playing on TV)


Charlotte (over TV): "Youth in Crisis!


"A troubled child rebuilt
through technology.


A plea for the future,"
by Charlotte Wrather.


Laptop, laptop


Where is my new laptop?


Oh, hello! I didn't see you there.


Join me, won't you?


On our journey as we learn about
the modern wonder...


(fast-forwarding)


-Hey!
-Sorry. There's a time limit.


Charlotte (over TV):
...better future for all of us.


Young Ollie used to be a rebel
who was going down the wrong path in life.


(shattering)


Authority is the worst. Hmmph!


-Hey, that's my antique table!
-Shh!


Charlotte (over TV): But when a new laptop
came into his life,


things began to change.


Shakespeare? Yes, please!


Without my laptop,


I never would have been so good at...


What's that word?


Charlotte (over TV): Reading!


Failure to buy a new laptop


will ensure that Ollie
will live in your house forever.


(light clapping)


-And that's how it's done.
-Ready, Fred?


-(snoring)
-Wake up!


Trampoline!


Life got you down, little lady?


Kids driving you crazy, and you need
a place to vent that frustration?


We've got three words
that will change your life.


-Both: Tramp-o-line!
-(both fist punch)


Cooper (over TV): Trampolines.
One of the greatest gifts


bestowed upon our beautiful planet.


Fred (over TV): Perhaps if the Egyptians
had trampolines,


they could have built
the pyramids in a day.


And if George Washington had one,


he could have used it
to cross the Delaware.


Fred: Weeeeeee!


I made it!


And if the astronauts had one,


they could have used it
to land on the moon.


Fred: That's the sun.


I am learning so much.


They didn't have trampolines
to make their lives easier, but we can!


-Both: Trampoline!
-(both clap)


(light clapping)


Well, that was insane.


Come on, Mom. Let's get that laptop.


Uh, hold on, Charlotte.
Both presentations were equally good.


-You're kidding, right?
-No. This is gonna be really tough.


How can it be tough?


Have you seen all the cool new features
this laptop has?


Well, Charlotte,
how different could they be?


Huh.


-Well, that's interesting.
-Huh! Knew it!


-Eat it, bounce boys!
-Uh...


Actually, I'm looking at the small print,
where it says, "All prizes are final."


So what does that mean?


Well, I guess it means...


foot spa! (claps)


I'm sold.


Foot spa!


Cami, it's so great
you actually got up for this.


I know how important this is to you.


Let's start walking in the dark. Yay.


Not before we put on
our matching sneakers.


I got the ones with wheels,
so when we get tired,


we can just roll home.


Uh, here's Delaware's.


Cami's. And mine.


Thank you, Pam.


No problem.


Let's put these babies on
and get a-walkin'.


-They are so cool.
-And really comfortable.


What's wrong?


Looking for this?


-Where'd you get that?
-What is that?


What's going on?


Cami, I owe you an apology.


This whole time,
you've tried to convince me


that Pam was still bad,
and now I know you're right.


Delaware, what are you saying?


I figured Pam might be up to something
when she wanted to get matching sneakers


because when I suggested it
a few days ago,


she said no.


And when I followed her
to see what she was up to,


I caught her rigging the wheels
on your sneakers


so she could control them
with this remote.


I knew my gut wasn't lying.


Delaware, I don't know
what you think you saw.


Oh, drop it.


You were clearly just using Delaware
to get close to me.


I had to!


I've been trying to get you for weeks!


But you always saw it coming,
so I had to switch up my game.


Well, your plan had one major flaw.


You underestimated
how smart my best friend is.


She may be smart, but I'm quick.


Sorry, Cami.


-You lose.
-(beeping)


What's going on?


Why'd my shoes beep?


I switched the names on the boxes.


You're wearing Cami's sneakers.


What?


-See ya!
-(beeping)


(Pam screaming)


(both laughing)


Cami, I'm so sorry.


Don't be. You always try to see
the good in people,


and that's one of the things
that makes you so special.


Pam (screaming): Aah! Bushes!


(bushes rustling)


Eh. It was a soft landing.


Want to grab some breakfast?


Fred, I can't believe you made
our trampoline dream a reality.


I know. I borrowed these babies
from my mom's aerobics class.


Okay, Ollie. Get ready
to capture the gold.


I've been standing here for an hour.


Just do it!


-(camera shutter clicks)
-Fred: Happy August, Fredheads!


Jenna: Foot spa!
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