02x28 - Would You Wrather Have a Snow Day?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Coop and Cami Ask the World". Aired: October 12, 2018 – September 11, 2020.
Series follows two middle school-age siblings whose main source of decision making is crowdsourcing opinions from their millions of online followers.
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02x28 - Would You Wrather Have a Snow Day?

Post by bunniefuu »

What up, Wratherheads?

Hold your noses, 'cause we got
a stinky one for you today.

Would you rather drink tomato juice
out of Fred's skunky boot?

Ugh. I should really
wear socks with these things.

Or get sprayed
by a giant skunk?

I'm a skunk.


In that can is the stink
of a thousand skunks.

When you want to repel a bear,

or even other skunks,
use Skunk Blast.

Get yours at Gary's
House of Animal Repellents.

Open Thursdays.

Okay, Wratherheads.
Looks like you went with...

Boot! Which is probably best,
because Skunk Blast is so strong,

Mom said we'd have
to spray Fred outside.

And it's really, really cold.

More importantly, Mr. Sash here

won't come down with a case
of the stinkies.

Hmm. Fred hasn't taken that sash off

since he was promoted
to head hall monitor.

A ceremony neither of you
attended, by the way.

There was a ceremony?

I rented a harpist.

Quiet, please.

I want to enjoy my boot juice.

[Ollie slurps]


That is the worst thing
I have ever tasted.


It's kind of growing on me.


[all] Ugh!


Would you rather
lose your phone

Or give up pizza
for a month?

Share your diary
with the world

Or have to eat it
for your lunch?

Sing out of tune
to your friends

Or trip and fall
into your crush?

Shave your head,
paint it red

Or use your dog's

We need a little Q and A

Come on Wratherheads,
play along

Would you rather do this?

Would you rather do this?

Or would you
rather do that?

Would you rather do that

Don't matter what we do

We're doing it with you

I'd rather do that

Ask the world

Would you rather do this

Would you
rather do this

Or would you
rather just dance

Or would you
rather just dance

No matter what we do
We're doing it with you

I'd rather do that

Ask the world!

Would you
rather do that?

Ohh. Ollie, the "Would
You Wrather" is over.

You can stop drinking
out of my boot.

Yeah. I could.

Anyone seen my history textbook?

-I need to finish studying.
-[all gasp]


Who are you, and what have you
done with my brother?

Very funny.

I've been studying all week
for my history quiz tomorrow.


Maybe you should
drink over the sink.

Mom said if I don't bring
my history grade up,

I can't go to Kangaroo Jim's

to play the new Zombie Guts
VR game this weekend.

Well, I hate to break it to you,

but there's not gonna be
any school tomorrow.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
a three-day weekend.

A huge storm's coming in.

My TV weather guy guarantees
a snow day tomorrow.

I told all the kids at school,
so everyone's blowing off homework.

I thought you had
an English presentation due.

I had one due,
but I'm not gonna "do" it.


A little snow day humor.

I think I'll study,
just in case.

Cooper, my weather guy
is never wrong.

Being struck by lightning
has only made him smarter.

I still think it's risky.

What do you think, Ollie?

I'm drinking out of a shoe.

Are you really asking me that?

Oh, I'd like my eggs
in a sneaker, please.

-I'm sure you would.
-[shoe thuds]

Any minute now, they're going
to announce the... snow day!

-[air horn blares]
-[Fred screams]

Cami, for the last time,

no air horns at breakfast.

I still can't believe
I had to make that rule.

Cooper, don't forget,
tonight's your night to do the dishes.

The w*r of !

His brain is completely full.

Give him any new information

and a history fact has
to fall out to make room.

I hope I didn't need that one
for the quiz.

'Cause once it's out,
it's gone.

[congested] It's a good thing
Cami says today is a snow day,

because I, Charlotte Wrather,
have come down with a cold.

[all gasping]

I know. I'm just as disappointed
in my immune system as the rest of you.

Let's get some breakfast in you.



What is wrong with you?!

There's no way
you're going to school.

None of us are. I'm telling you,
it's gonna be a snow day.

It better be, otherwise,

my perfect attendance record
will be ruined,

and this town will have
one less hero.

Is it weird I haven't gotten
a text from your school yet?

I'm gonna check the news

and see what my weather guy
Duke Thunder says.

[keys clacking]

What a storm it was,

And due to all that snow,

it looks like there's gonna be
school closings today.

What shocking news.

In fact, all schools are
officially closed today.

-[Charlotte, Cami] Yes!

Except North Plains Day School.

-[Charlotte, Cami] No!

Duke has great hair.

It seems that the principal
of North Plains, Mr. Walker,

stayed up all night

and personally plowed all the streets
around the school.

I'm sorry, Cami.
Please don't hurt me.

My face is my paycheck!

Hey, that's my name!

What a weird coincidence.


I'm not feeling so good.

I think I have
what Charlotte has.

Maybe I shouldn't go to school.

Oh, Cami.

There's nothing
wrong with you.

You're going to school.

All right, people.
Time to get our education on.

Not so fast.
You're sick.

Must have been one
of those -minute bugs.

'Cause, look--

[hacks, then sneezes]

Healthy as a horse. Heh.

You are staying home.

But my attendance record!


No sense fighting it, Charlotte.

You and I are staying home.

Not you.
You're going.

And don't you dare
try and skip school behind my back.

Well, if you really want
to keep tabs on everyone,

just active your
Family Follower app.

After that school
safety seminar,

I installed it on
all of your phones.

So you'll know exactly
where each child is at all times.

Good idea, Fred.

Yeah. He's full of 'em.

No need to thank me.

Now let's hustle. After all,
I am the human traffic light

that keeps our hallways safe.

Heavy is the head
that wears that crown.

Oops. Forgot something.
Be right back.

I'm not letting my perfect attendance
record go down without a fight.

I have a plan,
but I'm going to need your help.

All I heard was "fight"
and "plan." I'm in.

Cami, hurry up.

Look, I know you blew off
your work,

but as someone who's gotten
his share of Fs,

trying writing "-antastic"
after the "F."

It never works,
but it always makes me feel better.

Please. I could get a B
in my sleep.

This is about Principal Walker
stealing a day off

from hundreds of school kids.

I need to give them
their snow day.

So what are you gonna do?
Shut down the school yourself?



think of all the sweet children

who won't be making
snow angels today.

Or the even sweeter children
who won't be throwing snowballs

at the ones making
snow angels.

I'm thinking I need to ace
my fourth period quiz.

Just take it Monday.
I'll help you study over the weekend.

Do you know how long it took me
to jam this stuff into my brain?

By Monday, it'll all be gone.
My time is now!

[huffs] I'm sorry,
but I'm shutting it down.

Unless I stop you.

You sure you want
to go up against me?

You sure you want
to step in the cage with Coop-zilla?

'Cause he's a beast
that fears no one.

-[air horn blares]
-Aah! Ow!

-[whistle trills]
-Where's the f*re, son?

Slow it down.

But you three, keep it moving.
The only jam I want to see

-is in your sandwich.
-[whistle trills]

Cami, you said
there would be a snow day.

Now everyone's mad at you.

For now,
but I'll fix this.

What's behind your back?

Uh, her locker, a wall,

and I think, geographically,
the parking lot.

Thanks, Delaware,
but I got this.

Just let everyone know
I'm taking care of things.

-Can I do it in a British accent?

[in British accent]
'Ello, everyone!

I don't know what you're planning,
but don't do it.

Also, tell me
what you're planning.


sh**t, I thought
that would work.

You know what?

I will tell you,
because you can't stop me anyway.

This is a fake letter that I forged

from the school superintendent.

It orders Principal Walker
to immediately shut down the school.

You can't give Walker that.

No, it's really easy. I'm just gonna
slip it under his office door.

Look at all these sad sacks.

I let them down.

Now, I get to give them
their snow day.

Louisiana Purchase!

Darn it!

Can't let Walker see that letter.

[whistle trills]


Fred, I don't have
time for this.

Everyone has time for safety.

Let's read the rules together,
shall we?

Section B, paragraph
clearly states that--


[whistle trilling]

-[Mr. Kasselman] Ms. Wrather,

in order to have
perfect attendance,

you must be present
in every class.

Mr. Kasselman,
according to the dictionary,

the definition of
"being present"

is to exist at the current time.

Can you see me?
Can you hear me?

-Yes, but...
-Well, then, I'm present.


This whole thing
is very, very creepy.

Just think of it as Virtual Charlotte.

I am a robot.

Boop, beep, boop.
-Ollie, stop that.


Ooh! Science juice!

Ollie, do not mix
those chemicals until I get there--

Charlotte, are you talking to someone?


I--I must have been having
a fever dream.

Thanks for waking me, Mama.

Poor girl. You just need
to take it easy.

I will be on my phone
rescheduling showings.

Yell if you need anything.

I love you, Mama.

[kids screaming on phone]

It's a "Foam-nado!"

[kids screaming]

Ollie, what did you do?

I went with my gut.

Principal Walker?

I gotta find that letter.


Ooh. What's that?

Dang it.

I want to look away,
but I can't.

[Charlotte on tablet screen]
You guys want to meet up for lunch later?

Where should we sit?

I bet I know where Sara
wants to sit!

Near Kevin McCormick!


Being a robot is hard.

Ollie, there you are.

We've been looking for you.
What are you wearing?

My sister's face.

-What? What's happening?
-I'm taking Ollie back to class.

What? No!
I have six more periods!

Beep, boop.
Goodbye, Charlotte.

Okay, don't panic.
This is my free period,

and then there's lunch.

That's enough time
to sneak out, get to school,

and save my perfect attendance.

Oh, keep that blanket on!

You need to sweat
that cold out.

Thus, my old family saying:

"The sweatier, the bettier."

Anyway, good news.

I am all done with work now,
so I can sit here,

and just focus on
getting you better.


Now, let's get mean Mr. Mucus
out of my baby.


[Principal Walker]
Is that--

-Ow! James Madison!

Cooper, why are you in my office
going through my stuff?

When I came to report someone
sneaking into your office,

I had no idea it was
my very own brother.

I didn't sneak into your office.

This is all
so overwhelming.

Principal Walker,
you don't understand.

I'm the good guy here.

What's that?

I don't know,
but it looks official.

That's mine.

-Oh, it's nothing.
-Then why does it have my name on it?


Cooper. How could you?

What are you talking about?

You promised me

you deleted the picture
of me at the water park.

Wait, what?

You set me up.

There was
never a letter.

What were you gonna do,

Make copies for
all your friends,

so you all could
have a good laugh?

-No! I--
-[Cami] Well, I should get to class.

If I'm not gonna
pack snowballs today,

I should at least pack in
the learnin'.

-Principal Walker--

Just... don't.

But I have to go stop her.

Oh, no. You're not going anywhere.

You sit over there.

I can't even look at you.

Principal Walker,
you're wasting precious time.

Cami is trying to shut down the school.
You have to trust me.

You lost my trust

the minute I found you
sneaking around my office.

So what are you
planning on doing with me?

Well, first off,
I'm writing your mom a note.

But I can't decide
whether to start,

"Dear Mrs. Wrather,"
or "Hey, Cuddle Bunny."

I vote for number one.

In the meantime,
you sit there

till I figure out
what to do with you.

That's one large
water bottle you got there.

I like to stay hydrated.

Drinking all that water

must make you have to go
to the bathroom a lot, huh?

Oh, please.

You really think you can make me
have to go, just by--


Principal Walker?


Hey, Chief.
Here are today's running violations.

Hall Monitor, I found Wrather in my office
up to no good.

Keep him here till I get back.

Clear a path!

Great! He's gone.
Now I can finally stop Cami.

No go, amigo.
You're under my watch now.

Your reckless hallway behavior
has finally caught up with you.

Are you serious?

I blame myself, really.
If only I had spent more time

playing catch with you
when you were young.

So, uh, Skunk Blast, huh?

When you say this stuff is stinky,
how stinky are we talkin'?

Trust me.
You don't want to know.

I don't? Huh.
Thought I did.

Well, I'm willing to do whatever it takes
to clear your name.

You don't even wanna know
what people are calling you.

Doesn't matter.
'Cause once we place

these cans
in all the major vents--

They call you
"Frosty the Snow Fraud!"


And that's just the teachers.

Well, that's
all about to end,

'cause the timers will
all go off at a.m.,

and this place will smell like
the business end of a skunk.

-His butt, Delaware.
-[chuckles softly]

I didn't do anything.

Cami is gonna
shut down the school,

and I'm gonna fail the--
William Henry Harrison!

And there goes another fact.

Coop, you don't think I want to help you?
You're my best friend.

But if I disobey Walker,
he'll f*re me from Hall Monitor.

I like having a whistle.

And I like going to Kangaroo Jim's.
Let me out of here!

-I want to, but...

I can't. I took an oath
to enforce the rules.

I'm torn.

What if we ask
the Wratherheads?

I guess it couldn't hurt.

Hey, Wratherheads.
We need your help. Quickly.

Would you rather disobey an order
to help your best friend,

or stay true to your sworn duty?

I said "duty."


Darn it! I can't believe
they chose duty!

[both laughing]

Stop it, Cooper.

[sighs] Well...

guess you have to go
with the Wratherheads.

No. You have to go
with the Wratherheads.

Once I heard it out loud,

I realized there was only
one choice to make:

help my best friend.

Really? Are you sure?

[sighs] Let's do this.
Once this sash is off,

the only rule is, there are no rules.
[takes deep breath]

A little help, here?

-Wait. Wait, hold on!

[Jenna, sing-songy]
Sleepy tea's almost ready!

That's great, Mom.

Now to put on the world's
most boring movie.


-Here we go.
[Charlotte chuckles]

What's this?

I'll Cry If I Font To:
A Documentary About Fonts?

How excited are you?

Is that a trick question?

I think that
I'm not in the mood for tea.

You have it.

It's starting!

Come sit under this
snuggly blanket. [giggles]

[Documentary narrator]
When printing began in the th century,

Venetian publisher
Aldus Manutius used italics,

a slanted type of print,
to fit more words on a page.

Do you mind
if I dim the lights?

Not at all.
This couldn't get any scarier.

The origin of the font Comic Sans

are anything but comedic.

Sweet Moses.

And now we wait.


Or not.

Okay. Coast is clear.

We just need to find Cami,
who could be anywhere.

We could track her down
if Walker approved my request

for a bloodhound
as my first lieutenant.

Wait. We have
something better.

There's nothing better
than this guy.

Look, his badge says,
"Above the paw." Aw.

But I'm talking about
Family Follower.

That app you weirdly installed
on all of our phones.

Again, no need to thank me.

I could track everyone.
Mom's at home,

for some reason
Charlotte's a block from the house,

and here's Cami,

feet above the cafeteria.

That could be a clue.

Let's go!

Hey, guys.
You ready for your snow day?

The better question is,
are you ready for your "no day"?

-He was trying to be clever.

It didn't work.

The bottom line is, I stopped you.

Coop-zilla for the win.

What are you talking about?

In about a minute,
a giant wave of Skunk Blast

is gonna clear this place out.

You mean the cans
that you put in the vents

that are now right here
in your backpack?

We tracked your every move.

Are you serious?
My dance costume is in there.

You mean the swan one
that you're supposed to wear

at your competition
this weekend?

Looks like you better disarm
the Skunk Blast.

Your move, little swan.

Quack, quack.

-Swans don't quack.
-Don't step on my moment.

Cooper, the timers
can't be shut down.

What are you saying?

[huffs] I'm saying,
those cans of Skunk Blast

are about to go off
in your arms.

[timer beeping]

-Coop! Get that thing out of here!
-[Cooper yells]

There you are, Cooper.
I gotcha.

-What's in the bag?
-[Cooper yells]

[Fred yells]

-Give me that!

A hall monitor always protects his halls.
Clear a path!

-[beeping rapidly]

-[cans hissing]


[coughs, groans]

That's the bravest thing
I've ever seen.

-[Fred coughing]
-You're a hero. Get in here.

-[all coughing]
-On second thought,

stay outside.
Oh! [coughs]

-I'm here.

Present and accounted for.

[Jenna on phone]
Charlotte Wrather,

I cannot believe you lulled me to sleep

so that you could go to school.

Sorry, but I'm staying.

My perfect attendance record
depends on it.

I'll make you a deal.

If you go home right now,

I'll mark you present
in every class.


'Cause the stink comin' off of you
is burning all my nose hairs!

Lookin' good, Cuddle Bunny.

You too, Cuddle Bear.

Yeah. I'm done.

Trying to stink up the school

so you can get yourself
a snow day?

You're in big trouble, Cooper.

Actually, Principal Walker,
it was me.

I brought the Skunk Blast
to school.

Cooper was the one
who stopped me.

-Is that right?
-Yes, sir.

Well, me and the bravest
hall monitor around.

It's why I wear the colors.


I can't believe Coop
is playing at Kangaroo Jim's

while we're grounded.

It's bad enough
everyone at school is singing

"Frosty the Snow Fraud."

What about me? My only crime
was wanting to attend my classes.

Uh, you basically
knocked me out

and snuck out of the house.

And you tried to evacuate
your entire school.

Fine. If you want
to put it that way.

Beep, boop. Goodbye.
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