02x09 - Uncle Naseem

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Ramy". Aired: April 19, 2019 –; present.*
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Ramy a first-generation Egyptian-American is on a spiritual journey who becomes caught between a Muslim community that thinks life is a moral test and a millennial generation that believes life has no consequences.
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02x09 - Uncle Naseem

Post by bunniefuu »

[LIMP BIZKIT'S "BREAK STUFF" PLAYING]

SINGER: ♪ It's just one of those days ♪

♪ Where you don't want to wake up ♪

♪ Everything is f*cked,
everybody sucks ♪

♪ You don't really know why,
but you want to justify ♪

♪ Ripping someone's head off ♪

♪ No human contact ♪

♪ And if you interact ♪

♪ Your life is on contract ♪

♪ Your best bet is to
stay away m*therf*cker ♪

♪ It's just one of those days ♪

♪ It's all about the he
says, she says bullshit ♪

♪ I think you better
quit letting it slip ♪

♪ Or you'll be leaving with a fat lip ♪

♪ It's all about the he
says, she says bullshit ♪

♪ I think you better
quit talking that sh*t ♪

♪ It's just one of those days,
feeling like a freight train ♪

♪ First one to complain
leaves with a blood stain ♪

♪ Damn right, I'm a maniac ♪

♪ You better watch your back ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm f*cking up your... ♪

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Women my age, they've
given up, you know?

They look tired, like
they need more water.

You can see it in their face.

[CHUCKLES] It's amazing, you know?

Sitting here with you,

so energetic, young,
and yet very mature.

You look like you
traveled the whole world.

AISHA: I do love to travel, actually.

I'm just trying to figure
out career stuff first.

I was thinking about getting
into jewelry design.

I... I made these with my sister.

We have an Etsy.

It's cute.

That's why my uncle put
me in touch with you.

I... I didn't realize we'd be going

to such a fancy restaurant.

Um, I was actually curious

if you had any openings or advice.

NASEEM: Of course, habibti.

Your uncle is a very good man.

It's a shame his limo business
will not survive with Uber.

What do you think?
Maybe two more months?

[LAUGHS] I would love to
give you a job at my store,

but [SPEAKING ARABIC],

it's a very small store.

It only fit two people, you know?

I had to give the job to my nephew.

Family, you know?

Just any tips on how to get
started would be great.

Maybe I'll fire him.

I'll consider it to make
an opening for you.

Uh, thank you for dinner.

I actually have to get
up pretty early, so...

Habibti, I don't mean to let you down,

but I think this is where
the night should end.

I feel the connection,
and I know you feel it, too,

but I couldn't possibly so soon.

Maybe we should just keep getting
to know each other, you know?

But you're not ready for this.

You will know when the time is right.

Yeah, um...

[BOTH SPEAKING ARABIC]

- Salam.
- Salam. [SPEAKS ARABIC].

[INDISTINCT CHATTER, WATER DRIPPING]

Hey, you? You see a guy come in here?

He's a Mexican like you
without the beard.

- TRAINER: I don't think so.
- He's usually here.

Maybe your days are mixed up.

NASEEM: I know the days.

For years, the same day.
Do I look stupid?

Do you need a spotter?

You know we got in-house
trainers for that.

You need a session, bro?

You skipped leg day. Got to watch out.

You know, you get strong
from lifting all the boxes,

but then you get the
chicken legs underneath.

My brother d*ed.

I'm sorry for you loss.

Yeah.

I have a sister.

I'd be very upset if something
happened to her, of course.

I told him I was gay, and he d*ed.

I mean, he didn't die because
I told him I was gay.

Because of cancer.

I wasn't shocked, you know?
We knew it was coming.

But I was glad I was able to
tell him who I am, you know?

Like, imagine he... he
d*ed without knowing?

It was like when I admitted it to him,

I... I was able to really
admit it to myself.

And then I was like...

"What are you and I doing?"

What do you mean? We're working out.

Look, I'm sorry about your brother.

I'm sure he's in heaven,

if you have that in Mexico.

I can't work out with you anymore.

Look, if you want to see
me, and I hope you do,

we could see each other for real,

spend some time together.

Don't work out, you'll get fat.

You could come to my house
this weekend for dinner,

making it easy, nothing public.

I'm going to the Kinko's on Seventh.

Have a nice life.

Good f*cking luck with that Kinko's.

Two stars on Yelp.

[LINE TRILLING]

YASSIR: Hi, you've reached Yassir.

I'm not available,
but I'll call you back.


- Leave a message.
- [MACHINE BEEPS]


Yassir.


[PULSING CLUB MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[ST. VINCENT'S "FAST
SLOW DISCO" PLAYING]


SINGER: ♪ I sway in place ♪

♪ To a slow disco ♪

♪ And a glass for the saints ♪

♪ And a bow for the road ♪

♪ Am I thinking ♪

♪ What everybody's thinking? ♪

♪ And I'm so glad I came ♪

♪ But I can't wait to leave ♪

♪ Slip my hand from your hand ♪

♪ Leave you dancing with a ghost ♪

[MUSIC GROWS DISTANT]

♪ ♪

You know I read that we only
have, like, nine months

to do something about the climate

before the problem is irreversible.

Maybe we should start recycling.

Yeah, I think we should.

I never did it because
it seemed too hard

to raise the kids and
recycle at the same time.

Maybe this is our fault.

What does recycling have
to do with the climate?

I don't know. I thought
it made it better.

No, it's bullshit.

You take a small can,
you put it in the garbage,

you make another one, huh? It's a hoax.

The government doesn't put
their hands in the garbage.

They're trying to distract us.

Distract us from what, Naseem?

Where is the hoax?

You know what? Keep eating, Naseem.

Your brain is acting up
because you were hungry.

You have a big body. It needs energy.


[LAUGHS]


[CONTINUES LAUGHING]

I guess you have the
money now to pay me back

for it to become your house.

_

Did I mention the other bill

that Maysa brings me
to help her out with?

Oh, hmm.

She didn't tell you about that, hmm?

I guess you can thank me
every time you take a shower

because I pay the water bill.

Look.

The Earth is melting.

The science is correct,

and we can do something about it.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

NASEEM: Salam. [SPEAKING ARABIC]

Naseem.

I was in the neighborhood.

I... I left a message for
Yassir a few days ago.

I didn't hear from him, so hey,

I thought I'd say hi!

Hi.

I'm sorry, if it's a bad time, I will...

No. No, no, no.

Wow.

How are you? Where have you been?

Yassir! Habibi!

I'm sorry. I'm just surprised.

- It's been a while, right?
- NASEEM: Yes.

Hey, old friend.

I was in the neighborhood, and...

[SPEAKING ARABIC], Naseem.

Uh, join us for dinner.

Yeah, come in. Come in.

Mona, do you remember your Uncle Naseem?

Can you say hi to him?

Uncle Naseem, hi!

NASEEM: [LAUGHS]

Hi, habibti.

Hi.

Hi.

NAJLA: Wow, Naseem. [LAUGHS]

You still have a young
man's appetite, huh?

It's your cooking. It brings it up, huh?


Well, let us know next
time before you come.

I'll make enough for you to take home.

Mona, let me tell you a story
about your Uncle Naseem.

Look at my ring.

Three days before our wedding,

your dad was so stressed

because he still hadn't picked
out a wedding ring for me.

And then, like a miracle
from the heavens,

he got a package on his doorstep

from your Uncle Naseem.

I was thankful to have a friend
in the diamond district.

NAJLA: I just wish you had
made it to the wedding.

NASEEM: Yes, habibti. I remember.

I had to fly international.
I was stuck in Africa.

You know, I like to see
my guys direct, you know?

I was delayed. [CHUCKLES]

Every time I see your mother,

I have to explain the same story.

[LAUGHTER]

You know, I tried to
get your Uncle Naseem

to get to know your Aunt Nadia.

Here we go again.

She won't let it go.

He took her out twice,
and didn't call her again.

Anyway,

I'll let you guys catch up.

Can't stay up all night with the boys.

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

Let's go to bed, huh?

Good to see you, Najla.

NAJLA: You, too, Naseem.

YASSIR: I'll see you upstairs
in a bit, habibti.

NASEEM: It's good to see you, man.


[LAUGHS]


[LAUGHS]


[BOTH LAUGHING]


[SIGHS]


Shukran, Naseem.


[KNOCKS AT DOOR]

Hi.

It's from a halal Domino's, so...

I know the owner.

You know, there's better pizza places

in New York than Domino's.

Classic New York.

Domino's is just Domino's.

It's not really pizza.
It's got its own taste.

NASEEM: [LAUGHS]

That should be their ad, you know?

"It's not pizza. It's Domino's."

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Not pizza.

[TV PLAYS FAINTLY]

[GRUNTS]

f*ck.

NASEEM: Don't move.

I'm gonna go to the hospital.
Don't worry about it.

NASEEM: No, I was a soldier in Cairo.

We did this all the time.

Besides, you go to a hospital,
you know, they f*ck you.

They always charge you more money.

It's like going to a mechanic,
you know, for an oil change,

and then they charge you
for a new transmission.

PACO: [GROANS]

NASEEM: There you go.

- I'll get some cake.
- I don't want any cake.

_

[UPBEAT PIANO MUSIC]

♪ ♪

SINGER: [SINGING IN ARABIC]

♪ ♪

[DISCO MUSIC TO THE TUNE
OF "I WILL SURVIVE"]


♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪
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